"Is it my turn yet?" the unicorn filly whined.
Her earth pony friend stood on her hinds and peered through a window at the back of Mayree's house. She hissed, "Shhh!"
"But you've been looking for ages! It's gotta be my turn!" She huffed when her friend didn't move aside and asked, "Is she as pretty as they say?"
"She's bee-ewe-tea-ful! But she must've been in a different room 'cause I only got to see her for a moment."
"Let her have a look Spray, she won't stop whining until you do." The third filly fluffed her wings nervously as she peered around the corner of the house toward The Hump trail.
They had their backs to me as I slowly crept forward. Mayree was lucky I'd been back here, gathering grass to make hay, when these trouble-makers had shown up. What were they hoping to get cutie marks in? Voyeurism? Their parents would love that. At least they didn't have a camera like that ponyrazzi muffin-head I'd chased away last week.
"Hey, you brats!"
They gasped and three sets of shocked eyes whipped around to stare at me. That's right, filly. You have to look all around if you're on watch.
"Get away from there you little cupcakes!"
I chased them down the path to The Hump and their high-pitched squeals turned to gasping laughter as I skidded to a halt. I snorted after them and high-stepped back to my shack with my tail bannered high and my nose in the air. It wasn't much of a victory, chasing off a pack of nosey fillies, but I'd take what I could get.
"My hero", Mayree called to me from her porch.
Embarrassed, I settled my trot to a plod and forced my tail down.
"Did you have to do that?"
I snorted and asked, "You want ponies peeping through your window trying to see what you look like undressed?"
"Ascribe not thine own foul intent to innocent foals!"
My eyes watered from bashing my muzzle against the dirt.
Princess Luna sighed and in a deep growl commanded, "Rise, Mainstay. I desire not thine pathetic grovellings."
She knew my name! Princess muffin Luna knew my blintzing name!
I gingerly stood and brushed dirt from my chest fur while glancing out of the corner of my eye at the porch. Mayree leaned casually against one of the roof posts while the Princess stood halfway out the door beside her. The refurbished house seem like a shabby heap compared with her glossy dark perfection. Why would she stoop to getting her mirror-bright shoes dirty in our filthy little village? Where were the Royal Guards? This should be huge news in town! No princess had ever visited Smile Harbour!
"This be the annoying wastrel of whom thou wrote?" she asked in a voice of quiet thunder. "The colt who doeth vex thee with his mean-spirited imprecations and ill manners?"
Mayree chuckled and said, "Yeah, but we're best buddies now. Aren't we, Mainstay?"
I squeaked and my quivering legs almost gave out under Princess Luna's glare. I'd throw myself on the ground and beg, but I doubt she'd be as forgiving as Sun Squall. Not the immortal all-powerful alicorn who could carry a grudge for a thousand years!
She sniffed and dismissed me like the filthy grub I was, and I almost moaned with relief.
Princess Luna nudge Mayree's shoulder with her perfect muzzle and asked, "Will we host thee in Canterlot ever again? Say yes, I pray thee."
Mayree draped one of her long fores around the graceful curve of the princess' neck and fondled her starry mane. She sighed and said, "Maybe. If you can keep it a secret so I don't get mobbed by those annoying nobles again."
"Huzzah! We shall make it so." Princess Luna nuzzled Mayree's cheek and said, "Come to us during Hearth's Warming at the very least and we shall make merry, just thou and I if that is thy wish."
"Alright. Thanks, Lulu." Mayree wrapped both fores around Princess Luna's neck and hugged her. The Princess hung her head over Mayree's shoulder and her bright cyan eyes pinned me in place. Her frown made my bowls turn to water and I desperately wanted to grovel some more — she might not like it but it would make me feel a lot better!
"I have tarried here overlong and must fly. Taketh care of thineself friend мαяλ sмιτн and we shall see thee anon."
I clenched my eyes as a down draft from her massive wings kicked up clouds of dust and dry grass.
"You can get up now."
I peeked from behind my hooves but kept my belly pressed firmly in the dirt. "Y-you're f-friends with Princess Luna?"
Mayree leaned over me with a half-smile quirking her lips, but for once I didn't feel intimidated. After being threatened by a muffin Princess I doubt anything would ever frighten me again!
She chuckled and sat on the porch steps. "Yeah, she's a big fan. She loved the episodes I wrote for her."
She frowned at my blank look. "The two-part finale of season eleven?"
I maintained my blank expression.
"Haven't you even watched the show?"
I shook my head. "I was too busy when the travelling exhibition about Earth came through Smile Harbour." Busy fishing, sleeping, staring at the wall, picking lint from my belly button.
"Not even a little curious, huh?" She sighed and scuffed one of her bare paws in the dirt while lacing the ends of her hands together.
They weren't toes or paw pads. Feelers. I was going to call them 'feelers', since that's what see seemed to do with them all the time.
"Can't blame you. I don't like watching it anymore either."
I lay in the dirt, staring up at her sad vulnerable face — and wished she'd muffin-well get off her rump and go back inside already! My ears rotated back as she stayed silent while gulls called and chuckled at one another behind me.
"I met her, you know."
She spoke so quietly I almost missed it. My ears snapped forward.
"Midnight Shadow. The villain I came up with for Luna to smack down. Luna didn't want to take me, but I bugged her until she let me go to Tartarus to meet her. She was-", she grimaced and clenched her hands together, "-insane. Raving about how she'd break out someday and get her revenge. And I put her there." She laughed and said, "нεℓℓ, I made her a ρsλςнοτις βιτςн for Luna and the others to use as a punching bag. No redemption episode for poor ƒμςκιηg Midnight."
I snorted derisively, blowing a puff of dust onto her paws.
"Heh. You don't believe it, do you, Mainstay?"
I grumbled, "That you humans made us up to amuse your foals? No, I don't." I flicked a pebble with my hoof. "Did a human write about that? Did they paint it for one of your picture stories? No. But it's there all the same."
She chuckled and said, "You might be right. Smile Harbour isn't in the show βιβℓε, they didn't draw the train track to it on the official map, and there aren't even any fan stories that mention it. I checked before deciding it was the perfect place for me: pretty, an ocean-front view, and off the beaten path. Far away from-", she waved a hand in the air, "-all that."
I nodded, grinding my filthy chin in the dirt. "There's probably hundreds, no, thousands of little nowhere towns like this that nopony thinks twice about unless they live there." I shrugged and asked, "Would any of them exist if you humans made us up?"
She hummed and leaned back, putting her hands on the porch deck for support and hunching her shoulders. "You believe the inspiration theory then?"
"Sure, I guess."
"So, somehow visions of your world leaked into the minds of everypony who worked on the show? Midnight Shadow existed already and some spooky magic made me think I came up with her?"
"Isn't that was inspiration is?" I asked. "I'm no artist but everypony has had ideas pop into their head. Maybe there's another world next door that ponies dream about? Maybe we dream about yours?"
She sighed and frowned at me, though her eyes were looking right through me. Such a troubled expression.
"I don't blame you, Mayree. Not for the week of horrible nightmares and headaches that muffin-headed mare gave everypony. You may have wrote about it, but you didn't cause it, and if she's in Tartarus it's because she deserves to be there."
Making a sour face she said, "Okay, well, thanks for trying to cheer me up, anyway."
"I really don't blame you."
"Yeah, I get that. Thanks, Mainstay, but if I didn't create the story and somehow it came true, then I'm just a secretary taking notes. What's the point in being a writer if it's not really me coming up with any of it?"
She abruptly stood up and I flinched, grinding my belly into the dirt. "ƒμςκ this serious sнιτ! I'm going to grab a beer, do you want one?"
I coughed and said, "Yes, please. Thank you." It would be nice to wash the dust out of my mouth.
She paused in the door and asked, "Are you going to clean that up?"
I grumbled, "I'll get a shovel."