From the time Ditzy left to his discharge from the hospital the next day, Blueblood didn’t see a familiar face. The hours alone gave him a long time to stew on the disaster he just set himself up for.
Ditzy in Canterlot. The imagination boggles.
His head drooped low as he wandered outside, mind running in circles. He could cancel. He wanted to cancel, and stick with some nice, safe lunches in Ponyville. But a niggling feeling in his head figured that would be an even worse idea than going through with it. Ditzy would think he was embarrassed of her. She’d shown that she was a little delicate emotionally, and a cancelation would widen the rift between them. Would she want to keep seeing him if he kept making her feel inferior? Blueblood knew he wouldn’t.
But if he was so worried about her feelings, why would he take her to Canterlot? Sure, most of his peers would probably just sneer into their hooves and leave her alone. But all it would take is one spat of mean-spirited humor to ruin the whole evening. Then Ditzy will feel she’s just an embarrassment to Blueblood and he’s better off without her…
The two cases swirled in his head. Both seemed to end poorly, so what would he do?
His despondent wanderings brought him to a schoolyard at the edge of town. He sat down on one of the swings, eyes cast to the dusty ground below. Tell Ditzy that he couldn’t bring her to Canterlot? Or bring her and let the lemming-wolves tear into her? There was no third option, not unless he disappeared and never saw her again. That would be a little too low, even for him.
Lost in his thoughts, Blueblood didn’t notice the other pony walk up to him. He didn’t even notice when she said something, so she coughed and spoke a little louder.
“Mister? Are you waiting for somepony to push you?”
He blinked, mind returning to the present. It was a little schoolfoal, a light purple unicorn with a curious look on her face.
Blueblood smiled a little – he probably made a silly sight, sitting on a swing built for ponies a quarter of his size. “I think you’re a little small to give me a good push.”
“I can use magic. Duh.” She stuck out her tongue and giggled.
Kid’s got wit, Blueblood thought, not disapprovingly. He shook his head. “No thanks, I’m fine.”
The filly climbed up to the swing next to him. “You don’t look fine. Are you worried about somepony?”
Blueblood blinked and looked right at her, eyebrows raised. “Lucky guess! How’d you know?”
“You look worried.” She shrugged, child-like logic leading her directly to the right answer. “Mommy says you should only worry about other ponies, because worrying over little things like grades and money and stuff is just wasting your worry. You look like a smart pony, so I figured you know that.”
Blueblood reached over and gave her a little push, swinging her seat forward a couple feet. “Your mommy’s a very smart pony.”
The filly obligingly kicked once or twice, sending the swing back and forth a few times before realizing the stallion next to her wasn’t following suit. She glanced to the side, seeing his frowning gaze once more cast to the dirt.
“So what’cha worried about?” She asked without hesitation, letting her swing glide to a stop.
“It’s an adult pony thing,” he said blandly.
“Is it about your marefriend?”
Once more Blueblood’s head snapped to the side. A small, self-effacing smile graced his face. “Okay, how did you guess this time?”
She tilted her head to the side, grinning like a student who just nailed a hard question. “Easy. My earlier question established that it’s a pony, and you just said it’s an adult thing. Putting the two together, ‘marefriend’ is a logical guess.”
“Sharp as a tack, kid.” He reached over and ruffled her hair. “You’re spot on.”
The filly frowned, pulling her head away. “I don’t get it. It’s all about spending time with a pony you really like, right? Your special somepony? Isn’t something like that supposed to make you happy?”
“It’s…” Blueblood tossed his head back and forth, finally settling on the lamest answer possible. “Complicated.”
“’Sharp as a tack,’ remember?” The filly smiled benignly at him. She reached over to push him, but only succeeded in pushing herself backwards. “Mommy said I should always try to help other ponies who are feeling down.”
“Well far be it from me to defy a mother’s advice.” Blueblood took a deep breath and gave tight little smile. “But it’s not something with an easy solution. I’m a Canterlot noble, she’s a pegasus with a lot of…personality traits that make her an easy target for bullies. In a spur of the moment thing, I asked her to come to Canterlot for a ball there. Now, noble society is a touch cut-throat to begin with – somepony like her would stand out in the worst kind of way. Some prince-this or damsel-that will have their way with her feelings. But if I cancel, she’ll know I just did it to shield her and she’ll feel just as bad. So I’m stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place, so to speak.”
It felt good to let it out, maybe even better to do it to some kid who had nothing to do with the whole thing. She had kept kicking back and forth on the swing. Blueblood initially thought he had lost her, until he saw the intense look of concentration on the little unicorn’s face.
“Don’t you think you’re being a little pessimistic?” She said, swinging at a slow, even pace. “There are a few bad ponies out there, but most of them are good. Most of the bad ones are good inside, too, they’re just bad at showing it.”
“Bad at showing how good you are inside,” Blueblood murmured. The words struck closer to home than he liked to admit. He considered himself a good pony – didn’t everypony? But however many bits he sent to his charity, did any of that make him a good pony? He was smart, but that razor-wit usually found itself cutting into others. For years he told himself that he did it just to keep his distance from the nobles who annoyed him and the mares who pursued him. But Rarity had raised a good point: had that pink pony been chasing his bits when he insulted her? Wasn’t Rarity just trying to help him when he tripped her? What about Ditzy? Was there any possible justification in the whole wide world for his curt insult?
Being a flankhole was just…natural for him. He didn’t like it, but how do you change your personality?
“I’m bad at it.”
“Bad at what?” The filly asked.
Blueblood shook his head, yanking himself back to reality. “Sorry, I…I’m one of those ponies you mentioned. I’m kind of…bad, even though I try to be good. Usually.”
“Well that mare is giving you a chance to be good,” she spoke with childlike certainty. “Maybe you can do the same for the ponies around you. You won’t see them be nice if you never give them a chance.”
She giggled. “And besides, Mommy always said that it’s okay to be afraid of failing, but you should never let that fear stop you from going for your dreams.”
“Your mother’s a veritable font of wisdom.” Blueblood stood up from the swing, feeling a lot lighter for the conversation. It’s not like the problem was solved or anything. But it felt a lot…simpler. Both options could lead to disaster. Taking Ditzy to Canterlot, however…could lead to something a lot better. Something that a refusal to try would never give him: a magical, wonderful evening.
Ditzy would be a princess, just like she deserved. Hopefully.
He turned to the little filly and gave the most regal bow he could manage in the rumpled black suit. “Thank you for your advice, my lady. I am Prince Blueblood of the Royal Line of Blue, at your service.”
The girl giggled furiously, face turning beet-red as he took her hoof and kissed it. “I’m Dinky! Good luck! And come visit when you come back to Ponyville!”
Blueblood nodded and turned away. He began making his way to the train station, wondering if there’d be a seat on the night line he could take.
“Of the Royal Line of Blue…” he mused, recalling the formal introduction. He gave a little smile and eye-roll. “Now if only I could be that smooth with Ditzy.”
Ditzy…wait a sec, the kid’s name was Dinky. Didn’t I hear that before?
Right, from Rarity. Dinky is Ditzy’s…
He stopped in his tracks. Daughter.
Blueblood turned his head by instinct, but by this time he was several blocks from the school grounds. With a shrug and another self-effacing smile, he continued on his way.
“All that ‘Mommy said’ business…heh, Ditzy’s plenty smart in her own way.”
------
Dear Diary,
On the train back from Ponyville.
Kind of a weird thing happened on the way out. Well, two weird things, but let me talk about the second one. Somepony caught up with me while I was waiting for the 7 o’clock express to head out. It was already 9:30, but you know. Trains.
It was Rarity, my friend.
(And yes, it does feel weird writing that)
(‘Friend-ish,’ anyway)
It started very oddly. She had this weird smile on her face as she levitated a program for the Sapphire Ball before my eyes. I guessed this was somehow relevant, but only one thing came to mind: I invited Ditzy to a ball, and here Rarity was giving a suggestion.
Coincidence? I think not.
“I seem to recall closing the door when I asked her,” I grumbled. “Does your snooping know no bounds?”
She gave that nervous laugh of hers and mentioned that hospitals have thin doors. ‘Friend-ish’ indeed.
I asked her why this was a better option than any other, and it was a fair question. The Sapphire Ball is just another one of those parties I tend to avoid unless socially expected. There’s nothing special about it.
“Oh Blueblood – you’re clueless without other ponies helping you out,” Rarity said. It was a bit of a zing, but I had gotten used to it by now.
“Shining Armor and Princess Cadence,” she announced, as if that explained everything.
I feel silly about it now, but I had no idea what she was talking about. There are a lot of Canterlot ponies who annoy me, and those two are close to the top of the list. Goody Two-Hooves Soldier Boy has never spoken to me except to give reprimands for being mean to gold-digging floozies. And my cousin, Cadence? Talk about goody FOUR-hooves, always so darn superior and all ‘look at me! My genes lines up in so perfect a way to be born an alicorn! I’m better than you!’
(Okay, she never actually mentioned anything about being better than other ponies. But I’m sure she thinks it all the time)
Anyway, I must’ve said something as witty as it was insulting, because Rarity promptly slapped me with the program. “Shut up and listen, Darling. I have it on good authority that Shining Armor plans to propose to the princess at the Sapphire Ball.”
“Poor idiot,” I said. (Naturally. Can you imagine what it’d be like having a relationship with somepony multiple steps up the social ladder from you?)
…Hm…I think I just zinged myself.
Ouch.
Moving on.
Rarity didn’t need any prompting to explain herself. “Don’t you see? This is the perfect one to take Ditzy to. All the regality, the class, the food and the atmosphere! Canterlot at its finest! You’ll impress the hooves off of Ditzy! And the other ponies will be abuzz about Shining and Cadence instead! It’s an open secret that he’ll propose…but oh, WILL he? Everypony will be watching the pair-“
“-Making it REALLY awkward for them…” I noted.
“…And not paying any attention to you!” Rarity continued without missing a beat. “Blueblood has an unusual marefriend, whatever, but nopony will care about that with the proposal of the CENTURY in the making! They’ll be too scared to miss it to bother with you two!”
Rarity had REALLY thought this out. I should be nicer to her.
“But the real cincher is what comes after. Ponies will know you have a low-born pegasus marefriend who is…a bit different. But because you already made an appearance, it’ll be old news! A week from then, nopony will care! Bringing Ditzy will make a splash, Darling, so the trick is to hide it in a bigger splash. It’s like when a decent movie bombs because it aired at the same time as a massive one. Only we very much want your…eheh, ‘romantic comedy,’ to be overshadowed by Shining’s proposal.”
I had to admit, it was kind of ingenious. I even said so to her face.
(Was that the first time I complimented her? I think so.)
Then she got that sly look to her eyes that immediately sets me on guard. “Of co~ourse it’ll help to have a wingpony. Somepony to divert attention away from you, and make sure the attention that does fall on you is positive.”
Her grin grew wider and more strained as I pretended not to take the hint. Finally, she just came out and said it. “I’m sure you’ll agree it’s in both our interests for you to make sure an invitation reaches my hooves.”
“I’ll get you six. Bring your friends.”
(Which would’ve been HILARIOUS)
Rarity shook her head. “Darling, just once I’d like a trip to Canterlot to not end in stampeding squirrels or hurled croquet mallets. Just one ticket will do.”
Fair enough. The plan seems…well, better than anything I could’ve come up with. Hat’s off to you, Rarity.
------
Dear Diary,
Fun times at the Grapevine Pub.
At least, if your definition of fun is getting pummeled in a barroom brawl.
So first thing’s first: I had 90% made up my mind to invite Ditzy to the Sapphire Ball, but I wanted to get one more set of opinions. I didn’t ask Aunt Celly or Fancy Pants; somehow, I know what they’d say. They’d give me all sorts of optimism without really confronting the issues at hoof. I’m not looking for reassurances that everything will be fine. I’m looking for practical plans to shield Ditzy from the massive social stigma she’ll be facing. Like what Rarity offered me, with the whole “Use Shining Prick’s proposal as a distraction” thing.
My friends at the E.E. were pretty obvious ponies to go to for the perfect blend of practical advice and good intentions. I figured they’d be supportive, as well as realistic to the problem I was facing.
I wasn’t wrong. When I broached the subject during our Friday get-together, they listened with uncharacteristic seriousness. Helperton acted about as I expected, giving me his studious attention and a quiet smile. Star Gazer somehow went through the evening without making any ‘buck’ puns, a fact for which I am heartily grateful.
I didn’t mind confiding that I wasn’t really sure where our relationship could go. I mean, a Canterlot prince and a country pegasus?
You know what they said? “Love doesn’t care.”
We come from totally different worlds.
“Love doesn’t care.”
She’s got a kid. She’s probably several years older than me.
“Love doesn’t care.”
This could be the end of my life as I know it. No more commitment-free living. No more ability to just do what I want when I want to.
“Love doesn’t care.”
And you know what? It doesn’t. I love Ditzy, and I don’t care what else happens so long as I can make her happy.
I sorta DID drop her name, which led to the aforementioned event. Star Gazer had met her while we were in Ponyville together, and she doesn’t exactly give the best first impressions.
When he heard her name, he paused, wondering where he heard it before. Then his eyes widened as her recalled the odd pegasus who hugged me at breakfast.
As his mind made the mental connections, he very rapidly moved a hoof to his face to conceal the smirk.
He noticed that I noticed, and made a lame joke at my expense. “Wow, Blues. I, uh, I didn’t know you were into that type of pony.”
“Uh, by ‘that type’ I mean pegasi!” He quickly corrected.
Like. He. Was. Fooling. Anypony.
Let’s just say that the aura of good feelings we had built up came to a crashing end. These are my FRIENDS, and I still get jibed for it. We joke around a lot, sure, but now he was making cracks at Ditzy’s expense. There was a line, he crossed it, and I was mad as Tartarus.
So I sort of popped him one. Right hoof to the side of his face. It was really more of a slap than a punch (give me a break, I’m a dandy).
Now what he should’ve done was realized he touched a sensitive issue and apologized. But he grinned instead, maybe not realizing how serious I was. “You hit like a filly, Blues.”
Maybe I do have a tiny bit of chivalry in me, because for insulting my Lady (Yes, MY. LADY.), I was gonna make sure I hurt him.
So I used my magic to yank the chair out from somepony and biffed Star Gazer across the face with it. That smug look disappeared as he hit the floor.
Which created kind of a problem. I guess there’s some kind of tavern etiquette that dictates when one pony attacks another on the premise, every other pony should immediately lose their minds and begin pummeling each other.
In my defense, I didn’t know that.
With a roar that I would never believe him capable of, the quiet, genial Helperton immediately launched himself at me. His head connected with my chest, sending me sailing into the air. I collided with a pegasus in a cheap suit, who immediately reared back to stomp me while I was dazed. A rough looking unicorn mare bucked him out of the way, then levitated a table leg and got one good hit on me before Star Gazer shouldered her into a wall.
Maybe he felt guilty about his words, because he kept the brawl at bay while I staggered to my hooves. I think him and I generally fought on the same side, but it was pretty chaotic. I’m a rookie to the art of brawling, but I did okay for my first time.
Basically, though, I got the crud kicked out of me
I got a few bumps and bruises, but you should’ve seen the other ponies. I must’ve knocked out, like, twelve of them before the police showed up.
It was kind of fun, actually.
Yours,
Blueblood
------
Awkwardly, Blueblood and Star Gazer had been deposited in the same jail cell. They kept their gazes firmly away from each other, fidgeting in the silence.
After a long few minutes, Star Gazer gently punched his friend on the shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“I’m sorrier,” Star Gazer insisted. “You’re gonna get a lot of rotten apples chucked at you for dating this girl, but you shouldn’t get them from a pony whose supposed to be your friend. I was just trying to be funny, you know? Had a couple hard ciders in me, felt like pushing the envelope, ended up being the biggest idiot in the bar. Not gonna happen again. Somepony else talks down about your girl and you start a fight, I’m backing you up all the way.”
Blueblood gave a slight smile back. “Thanks, Star.”
The two shared a solid brohoof and settled into a much more amicable silence.
Which, amicable or not…got really old, really fast in the featureless cell. The pair’s eyes moved around their surroundings, not that there was anything interesting to see. Stone walls. Iron bars. A bench that kept vibrating as Star Gazer kicked his leg in bored rhythm. Equestria’s lenient prison system ensured clean cells, but no law said they had to be interesting.
Naturally, Star Gazer was the first to break the silence. “So, didn’t you just give that cop a check for your bail? Shouldn’t you be gone?”
“He said they’d validate the signature at the palace,” Blueblood shrugged. “It’s almost as if they don’t believe I’m Prince Blueblood.”
He rubbed a black eye, wincing as he felt along the edge of the bruise. They both looked like they had gone a round with a manticore. “And I wrote for everypony’s bail. Figured so long as I was writing a check, might as well make it big and do my good deed for the day.”
“Ah, the luxuries of the rich,” Star Gazer grinned, though quickly broke off there. He wasn’t looking for a second fight in one night.
The conversation petered out once more. Both stallions descended once more into boredom, this time for several hours before one of the officers stepped into view. The blue unicorn levitated up a set of keys and unlocked their cell.
“You got lucky,” she said, gesturing for them to exit. “The palace is pretty dead at night, but one of your aunts was on hoof to verify your identity.”
“’One’ of my aunts?” Blueblood repeated in confusion as he stepped out. “Who do I have besides Celesti…ah…”
Blueblood froze just outside the door, forcing Star Gazer to squeeze past him. There, standing in the hallway, was Princess Luna.
And yep, she had heard him.
She didn’t look angry, which surprised the young prince. Annoyed, maybe, but nothing worse.
As per his usual, when confronted with an odd situation, Blueblood managed to come out with the worst possible thing to say.
“Whoa, crud, I forgot about you.”
She didn’t get angry then, either. Even the look of annoyance passed from her face, replaced with a resigned frown.
Luna gave a sigh. “Hm. Well, you’re not the first.”
What was that supposed to mean?
Blueblood coughed loudly, rapidly (and poorly) trying to change the subject. “Wow, heh, you’ve really grown up since last I saw you. It’s been a while. You know, the whole ‘I sleep at night’ thing…”
And now her face became impassive. He trailed off weakly, stuttering a few lines before trying another topic. “So…how did Nightmare Night go? I was never big on it – all that candy would go right to my hips, you know? But, uh…you know, er…”
The impassive stare went on. Star Gazer and the policemare shared a glance and took a step away from the princess.
Sweating nervously, Blueblood made one last effort to lighten the mood. “Your…your hair came in nicely. You’ve really got the whole ‘alicorn translucent floaty hair’ thingy down pat.”
“Alicorn. Translucent.” Luna spoke for the first time since his pathetic sequence of dodges began.
“Floaty,” she continued, putting extra emphasis on the improper words. “Hair. Thingy.”
Luna closed her eyes. She inhaled slowly for several seconds, then exhaled at the same speed.
Her eyes snapped open, taking the appearance of brilliant white orbs.
“WHAT ART THOU THINKING, THOU DISGRACE TO THINE TITLE!” She roared. The concrete hallways vibrated with the sound, and its echo sped along the walls. Blueblood stood petrified, somehow managing to get paler. Star Gazer and the policemare dove behind him, clutching each other in fear.
Luna continued, still shouting, but at least not unnaturally loud. “We came here to determine what vagabond did sign our beloved nephew’s name to that check! And now we have found our nephew himself, fresh from an evening of drunkenness, brawling, and debauchery!”
Blueblood blinked. “What’s ‘debauchery?’”
“WE WILL TELL THEE WHEN THOU ART OLDER!” Once more her voice hit them like a thunderclap. It was probably just their imagination, but Luna seemed to grow, looming over the terrified trio. The policemare squeezed Star Gazer tighter, who wasn’t so far terrified that he couldn’t enjoy it a bit. “NOW EXPLAIN THYSELF!”
“Okay, OKAY!” Blueblood threw up his hooves in surrender. “I’m dating this commoner mare, okay? She’s clumsy and she’s got funny eyes, so somepony made fun of her. I hit that pony, and the big fight started from there.”
“WELL...”
Luna tilted her head to the side and blinked, her eyes returning to normal. She seemed to shrink back to her usual size.
“Hm,” she said, in so normal-sounding a voice it caught Blueblood off-guard. “That wasn’t what we…I…was expecting. You sticking up for a vulnerable pony…that’s very chivalrous of you.”
She shuffled her hooves and glanced down. Blueblood couldn’t stop a smile coming to him – grown up though she was, Luna still could pull off ‘adorable’ without a hitch. At least when she wasn’t being terrifying.
Speaking of which, in the space of an instant Luna’s eyes glowed and voice boomed again. “NOW TELL US THE NAME OF THIS NE’R-DO-WELL WHO DIDS’T WRONGLY INSULT THINE LADY! SUCH MEANNESS SHALL NOT BE TOLERATED IN THIS KINGDOM!”
Star Gazer swallowed, all enjoyment of the hug vanishing instantly. He probably had seconds to live.
“I didn’t catch the name!” Blueblood frantically waved her down.
“I love you, Dude,” Star Gazer whispered hoarsely in his ear.
Once more, the Dark Princess of the Night deflated into just ‘Luna.’ She still regarded her nephew imperiously, stern frown etched into her face. “That aside, we do have much to discuss. Slipping out of the palace. Going tavern-trawling. Committing violence against your fellow ponies, regardless of justification. There are rumors about you too, Blueblood. You’ve been making a habit of sneaking out, and you seem to spend a lot more money than your material possessions would indicate.”
“Hey, it’s alright.” Blueblood gave her a confident grin. “I cleared it all with Aunt Celly.”
There was a brief silence, as Luna seemed to consider his words.
“She’s not here right now.” With the barest glow of her horn, Luna hoisted Blueblood off his hooves and held him suspended within a sphere of blue magic.
“We need to talk about these secrets of yours,” Luna announced. She turned and began striding out, magically pulling Blueblood behind her like floating cargo.
“Come on, can’t you just ask Aunt Celly?” Blueblood felt his face flush as they exited the building. Not many ponies were out at night, but those who were stared after them. It wasn’t very often they saw one of their sovereigns dragging along a member of the ruling class.
“I’d rather hear the story from you,” Luna said primly. “Consider this to be family bonding time.”
“I don’t think I can do that,” Blueblood huffed. He crossed his forehooves and pouted. The weightlessness inside Luna’s magic sphere caused him to slowly rotate upside-down.
Luna raised her nose up high. “It was not a request.”
And she carried him off into the night.