(Act 3)
King Rainbow Dash paced back and forth across the room. “Ugh, stupid Derpy and her stupid prophecies,” she muttered.
“Whatever is the matter, my love?” Rarity asked in a weary voice. “You’re getting your royal cloak all dusty! I spent a long time sewing that for your birthaversery present.”
Rainbow Dash signed. “I’m sorry, Rares. I just have bigger stuff on my mind right now than clothes.”
Rarity’s eye twitched. “What could possibly be more important than my glamorous clothes?”
Dash stopped to give Rarity a quizzical look. “Well, I’d say a vengeful tyrant who wants to kill us and usurp throne for herself is pretty high on the list!”
“Oh. Fair point,” Rarity chuckled, rubbing the back of her head. “Wait, I thought you didn't believe the Soothsayer’s prophecy?”
“I don’t,” Rainbow Dash sighed as she slumped back in her throne. “But that doesn't mean I don’t have enemies. What if she’s the traitor and was trying to throw me off? What if the assassin is already here? What if—”
Rarity shushed Dash with her hoof. “Listen, darling. I know it’s hard to silence those creeping doubts, especially after such strong accusations. But ask yourself this: what’s more likely? That somepony with a grudge has an army big enough to attack from all sides? Or that some silly Soothsayer had a bad dream and wants to mess with your head?”
King Dash leaned over and rested her head on Rarity’s shoulder. “You’re right, I’m just being a paranoid egghead. Your wisdom far exceeds your years, my love!”
Rarity kissed Rainbow Dash’s forehead and stroked her mane. These two are so cute together! It’d be such a shame if somepony was to be lurking around the background, spying on them and waiting for the right moment to enact her master’s plan!
“Uh, Pinkie Pie,” Dash said, peering behind her throne. “You know we can hear you, right?”
“Oh no, I’ve been discovered!” I yelled, throwing one of Trixie’s smoke bombs and making my escape.
When the smoke cleared, the two looked at each other, still coughing their guts out. Yikes! I didn't think it’d be that bad!
“I think it’s time we got a little fresh air, don’t you?” Rarity smiled as she waved away the smoke.
“Not a bad idea,” Dash gagged, removing her crown and polishing its jewels with a small handkerchief. “Better fix us up first. We need to be presentable for our royal subjects, wouldn’t you agree?”
“You know me so well,” Rarity sighed blissfully, staring deep into her eyes before their kiss. “I love you, Rainbow Dash.”
“I love you too, Rarity.”
So, there I was, gazing over the castle walls, an arrow nocked, and my bowstring drawn, ready to defend my lordship – or, at least pretend to, since I’m secretly on Starlight’s side – when who should show up but King Dash herself!
“Hi Dashie!” I bowed.
“Erm, Pinkie Pie?” Dash whispered behind her hoof. “You don’t address kings with informal nicknames.”
“Oh, okay! Sorry,” I bowed a second time in apology. “My Lord Dashie and Lady Rarity. How are you today?”
Rainbow Dash face-hoofed and shook her head. What was that for? Did she have a bug on her face? Well, if she did, she’s squashed it now!
“We’re fine, Pinkie,” Dash rolled her eyes. “Just keep your eyes peeled for any suspicious activity, got it?”
“You can count on me!” I saluted my king, but before I could return to my guarding duties, I noticed something odd. “Hey, where’d my arrow go?”
“Ow! Watch where you’re shooting that thing!” yelled Bulk Biceps, shaking a hoof at me. Poor guy. If only he’d paid attention, he would’ve avoided flying face-first into a tower. That’s gotta hurt!
Both Rainbow Dash and Rarity tried to stop themselves snickering, with little success. It’s a good thing I meant for that to happen, otherwise I’d look really silly!
“Well done, Pinkie,” Rarity said once she’d composed herself. “Carry on.”
Trotting on, they didn’t make it five feet when Fluttershy dove in front of them.
“WAIT!” She yelled at the top of her lungs, freezing Rainbow Dash on the spot.
From underneath her suspended hoof, a tiny little spider crawled past. It took a moment, but once it moved on, Fluttershy realized she’d just yelled in the king’s face. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” she bowed profusely. “The spider was on its way back to feed its babies and you almost smooshed it and I’m so sorry!”
“Hey, it’s okay, Fluttershy,” Dash grabbed Fluttershy’s hoof. “Take a deep breath. I know you didn’t mean any harm.”
“Oh,” Fluttershy wheezed. “Thank you.”
“Personally, I’ve always admired the care you give to creatures of all sizes.” Rarity smiled, which seemed to calm Fluttershy down – even if her face flushed an even brighter red!
“Just keep an eye out for any trouble, will ya ‘Shy?”
Fluttershy simply nodded.
A short distance away, a certain orange earth pony was attempting a surprise attack! Somepony had left a long ladder outside the castle walls, just waiting for AJ to take advantage of. Although, there was one teensy weensy little flaw in her plan.
“Say what now?” Applejack froze, just in time for the spider (who Fluttershy had saved) to return and push the ladder away with her amazing web powers!
“Dang nabbit, Pinkie Pie!” Applejack’s cry echoed as she fell. Silly AJ, your time to shine will come in act 4!
Just outside the western tower, Twilight scanned the valley through a pair of binoculars held in her magic.
“Good afternoon, Twilight,” Rarity said. “How goes the guard duties?”
“Eeek!” she screamed, nearly jumping out of her skin and throwing away the binoculars that were obviously out of place for this time period. “Oh, Lady Rarity, Lord Rainbow Dash, it's just you.”
“Well duh, it's us,” Rainbow Dash cocked an eyebrow. “Twilight, are you okay?”
“I'm fine, just fine!” Twilight wiped the sweat from her brow. “Just keeping an eye on that large mass of ponies marching across the horizon. At this rate, they'll be in place to lay siege within a matter of hours!”
Dash and Rarity looked at each other, before bursting into a fit of laughter. “I never knew you to be such a joker, Twilight,” Dash wiped a tear from her eye.
“Have you been listening to that silly old Soothsayer again?” Rarity shook her head. “Really, darling, you should always take her words with a pinch of salt.”
“Well put, my love,” Dash took Rarity's hoof and kissed it. “Besides, since when has Derpy's predictions ever come true?”
“Good point,” Twilight hummed, rubbing her chin. “There was that one time she pushed you away from the faulty throne room trap door. And the time she predicted the bug-bear attack on the royal gardens. Oh, and don't forget about the day of the exploding ice-cream— Ow!”
Rainbow Dash thumped Twilight's arm. That's gotta leave a mark! “Twilight,” she sneered. “How many times do I have to remind you: we don't talk about the exploding ice-cream incident.”
“Besides, those were all just coincidences,” Rarity added.
“Coincidences? But it was bug-bear season!”
“I'm sure you're just seeing things. What you think is an army is probably just a mirage.”
“A... mirage?” Twilight stared at Rarity, slack-jawed. “But it's barely even spring! How would that even work?!”
“That's enough!” Rainbow Dash snapped as an arrow flew overhead. “You're wasting time with your paranoid rants. Just tell us if you see something suspicious, and I'll send a squad of royal guards to investigate.”
“I am your royal guard!” Twilight protested, her voice muffled by the loud boom of something big hitting the wall – which wasn't my party cannon. “And I am telling you I see something suspicious!”
“What?” Dash raised a hoof to her ear as more explosions filled the air. “I can't hear you over this noise, Twilight!”
“I'm saying we're under attack!” Twilight kept yelling, but it was all in vain. Dash and Rarity shrugged and moved on, just as part of the wall behind them collapsed.
“A bit early for fireworks, don't you think?” Rarity asked.
“Never too early to appreciate you, my dear.” Dash kissed her.
“Oh, you're such a charmer,” Rarity giggled, wrapping her hooves around Rainbow Dash as the two started making out.