“Welcome back to Scotland,” I said, as the two of us disembarked from the train which had brought us to Glasgow Central.
“That was a tilting train?” Dinky asked. “I barely felt it tilt at all.”
“That’s a good thing,” I responded. “They tried something like that in the 1980s and the tilting was so pronounced it gave numerous passengers motion sickness.”
“Are we going to Hampden Park again?”
“No, this one’s at Celtic Park. It’s about a mile away, but we can take it easy as the game isn’t for two hours.”
“Round two of the Battle of Britain tonight here at Celtic Park,” Kick Off announced, as Twilight, Derpy and Rainbow Dash were joined by Lyra in the Traveller’s Rest. “With both sides needing a win to keep their hopes of progress alive. Chelsea know that two wins from their last two games will be enough to make it into the knockout stage, while Celtic would need to win both of theirs and hope results elsewhere go their way. Celtic showed Jacques Santini the door last week after they lost 3-0 to Benfica, and Gordon Strachan has subsequently been appointed...”
“There’s something I was going to ask you last time we were here,” Dinky said, as the two of us made our way towards the stadium. “What was the ‘pink menace’ that everyone here was talking about?”
“I think I read about it,” I replied. “From what I can recall, a pink earth pony with a pink mane visited here the summer before you arrived, took a bite out of a deep-fried Mars Bar” - Dinky wrinkled her nose at the thought of such a thing - “and suddenly turned into a whirlwind which ran riot through the middle of Glasgow.”
“...Strachan has promised to bring a fresh approach to what has been a stale campaign so far, but Mourinho has said that he is fully confident in Chelsea’s chances of qualification.”
25 minutes into the match, there was little to show for either side other than a yellow card for Boulahrouz and McGeady respectively. However, Chelsea came forward, with Joe Cole forcing a corner, which came to nothing.
A few minutes later, Celtic launched the ball downfield, with Boulahrouz intercepting and playing a long pass along the floor to Drogba. Drogba passed to Fontana, who was tackled by Pressley.
In the 32nd minute, Ashley Cole passed to Makelele, who played the ball on to Lampard. Lampard passed to Fontana, who took the ball into the area before crossing to Drogba. Drogba got his head to the ball, and had no problem beating a scrambling Boruc.
Just before half time, a rare Celtic attack saw former Everton and Real Madrid midfielder Thomas Gravesen launch a cross into the area, which Cech had no trouble dealing with.
Just when Dinky had thought she was used to life in Britain, there was something else to discover. In this case, it was the half time food; a pie with Macaroni Cheese in it. Amazingly, it actually worked.
The second half was only four minutes old when Boulahrouz took the ball down the right and sent a cross into the area, only for Drogba to hit the post from point-blank range. The visitors would have better luck shortly afterwards, however, as Drogba passed to Fontana, who played Joe Cole in. Joe Cole took off down the left before sending in a cross, which Lampard converted at the far post.
Having been booked early in the second half, it came as no surprise that Boulahrouz was the first player to be taken off, with Paulo Ferreira replacing him. Fontana then followed, being replaced by Shaun Wright-Phillips as Mourinho reverted to five in midfield.
Celtic then began to apply pressure, with a long ball by Wilson being headed clear by Kovac. With just over 15 minutes left, Zurawski sent in a cross which was deflected off Ashley Cole to Vennegoor, who beat Makelele before seeing his shot saved by Cech and cleared by Ferreira. Celtic won a corner five minutes later, and after a defensive mix-up, Cech saved from Gravesen at the expense of another corner, from which Pressley headed wide.
With five minutes to go, Lampard played in Drogba, who played a one-touch pass to Wright-Phillips. Wright-Phillips sent in a cross to the far post, where Arjen Robben raced in to head home.
Celtic did try and make one last foray forward with two minutes left. Shensuke Nakamura sent a long ball forward to Zurawski, who headed the ball straight at Cech.
Celtic 0-3 Chelsea (Drogba 32, Lampard 54, Robben 85)
“So, a big win for Chelsea, who go up to second in the group with one match left.” Big Match summarised. “This means that they only need a point from their last match against Benfica after the Portuguese side were beaten 2-1 by Bayern Munich, who are now guaranteed top spot due to their head-to-head record against Chelsea. Celtic, meanwhile, are now out of the Champions League.”
UEFA Champions League Group F: Matchday 5
1 Bayern +4 11pts
2 Chelsea +5 8pts
3 Benfica -1 6pts
4 Celtic -6 3pts
“Well, it was fun while it lasted,” Lyra said, as she got up from her seat in the Traveller’s Rest. “Maybe we’ll do better next season, that is if Strachan can get us going again. See you on Friday, Derpy.”
“All we have to do in two weeks’ time is avoid defeat, and we go through,” I explained, as the taxi took the two of us back to Glasgow Central station for the Lowland Sleeper to Euston. “And then, on our day, we can beat anyone. The games against Man Utd and Arsenal are proof of that.”
Man Utd and Arsenal, meanwhile, were both held, 1-1 against Spartak Moscow and 0-0 against Hamburg respectively, whilst Liverpool had beaten PSV Eindhoven 3-1. Before the final group game, however, Chelsea faced away matches against Sheffield United and Everton, before hosting Aston Villa. It would be absolutely essential to pick up maximum points, especially with Manchester United's next two matches being against Arsenal and Liverpool.