“Soo,” Twilight Sparkle draws out as she tries to stay completely relaxed. She can’t give in to that desire to panic! She needs a checklist. Where’s a checklist? Why doesn’t she have a checklist, at least of the activities they will do at the spa? “You’re here early...ier than I expected.”
The white stallion doesn’t take his eyes from the floor as he groans, “Hey there, little sis. We took a chariot, since we wouldn’t have made the train. And we made it!” He coughs, his face turning a little greener. “We made it. Apparently Princess Celestia ordered her personal chariot to take us here at full speed. Something about instilling a little more discipline in them.” He huffs, “You’d think as Captain of the Guard I instill enough discipline in them, but apparently not.”
“Right, right,” Twilight Sparkle says, barely listening as she looks over the four unicorns. And certainly not wishing she had a checklist of what to do when the parents meet the herdmates. Maybe there’s a book for this sort of situation, but she hasn’t seen one in the library before. Oh, if only she had finished her Starkle sorting system! Surely a stallion as well endowed as Star Swirl the Bearded - intellectually, of course - had this sort of thing down!
“Aren’t you going to introduce us, dear?” the gray mare’s voice melodically lilts, just a touch of exasperation as she lounges in the steaming pool, propping herself up with her forelegs to better look Twilight in the eye. At Twilight’s brief hesitation she gracefully reaches a hoof forward to Rarity, though her eyes convey an unexpected hardness. “Twilight Velvet. This is Night Light, and our elder son Shining Armor.” Velvet pauses for a brief moment, noting the comprehension and recognition at the last name on Rarity’s face. “So. You must be Rarity. Were you the one who offered to bring my Sparkle here?”
Rarity gives a stuttered laugh, a short ‘heh’, as she finds herself the focus of those glinting eyes. “I-if you mean here as in, to the Ponyville Day Spa, then, yes! Yes I was. We thought it would be a very relaxing, um, way to relax.” She reaches a hoof forwards, “Before, you see-”
Twilight Velvet grips Rarity’s hoof like a steel vice, not at all the velvet glove Rarity expected, abruptly drawing the startled unicorn in to inspect her frightened eyes from scant inches away. “Hmm,” comes a disappointed grunt, rumbling from the back of the gray mare’s throat. “Gee, I too thought that coming to Ponyville would be quite relaxing. You’ve got the Everfree Forest, and some marvelous rapids I couldn’t wait to dive off, just like the latest Daring Do! But, enough about me and what I wanted to do here!” Velvet smiles at Rarity, “You are second mare, correct?”
“Yes,” Rarity says, finding a bit of her confidence returning as Velvet does not release her hoof. She’s dealt with pushy clients before! The rumble returns, Rarity puffing herself up in indignation.
“You don’t strike me as the sort of mare who would have worked and strived for lead position. No.” Velvet shakes her head as if to confirm her statement, not making eye contact with Rarity but instead staring off, her gaze occasionally flicking towards Shining Armor. “Was this by choice, or did you fail to read the fine print? I know I’ve been guilty of that in the past. Mostly with liability waivers, you know.”
Rarity finds her already forced smile now painful to keep intact. On one side, Twilight Sparkle still seems to be indecisive as to how to deal with her dam, cringing and mewling to herself like a foal. On the other side, Sparkle’s sire is offering no assistance to her, merely watching Velvet as if he has seen this before. Sparkle’s brother still looks to be airsick from the ride here, half a good jostle from sprawling out on the floor. She opens her mouth to retort just as Velvet continues.
“But, as I always say, second mare is second to none! It’s a great spot to be in, don’tcha know. One I myself occupy, as it allows me the opportunity to engage in many other activities, or steal away whenever I wish to go on grand adventures, and not have to deal with the tedium and conflicts inherent in running a herd. You run your own business, yes?”
Rarity merely nods, trying to navigate where this conversation is heading, and mostly failing. Well, pretty much all failing. Is she supposed to stand up to Velvet? Just roll with it like Doug would? Apologize for having her own life?
Velvet smiles condescendingly, “Probably doesn’t leave much time for pursuits in the herd, hmm? I heard that your lead mare doesn’t even schedule your stallion!”
Rarity raises an eyebrow quizzically, her words spilling out, “They aren't unhappy, if that's what you are insinuating. And how do you even know what?” Velvet motions to Sparkle, Rarity’s flash of anger disappearing as she nods in understanding. “Ah. She must have written about how Fluttershy gave her the amended schedule after she joined.”
“Got it in one.” Velvet eyes Rarity with slight disdain, “Hear that, Sparkle? I know how much you like making schedules. Oh, who am I foaling, everypony knows how much you like making schedules! Maybe you could step up to the bit, take the reins on those?”
Twilight Sparkle sheepishly looks at Rarity, smiling through clenched teeth, “Um, I haven’t considered that, dam. I did just join the herd, after all.”
“Nonsense, darling!” Velvet raises a hoof, punctuating her statements with a tap against the wood, “It shows initiative! Dedication! A real interest in something you are excited by, yes?”
Twilight Sparkle stutters, “Oh, um, maybe? It does sound like fun.”
Rarity clears her throat, “Perhaps it is something we can bring up at the next weekly meeting.” She glances up at knock on the door to the steam room, quite thankful for the interruption.
Doug peeks his head in, smiling at seeing Twilight and Rarity. Doug steps inside, “Ah, glad I got the right room this time. You wouldn’t believe how awkward it is to introduce yourself to three ponies you don’t know, start talking for a bit and then find out they’re the wrong group. Though that they were mostly pegasi probably should have tipped me off.” Doug grins, but his happy expression slowly fades at the serious look on the three mares. “So, um, I’m Doug. Doug Apple.”
Twilight Velvet glances to Twilight Sparkle before shifting around to better regard Doug. Her eyes trace over his body like a mountain climber searching for every solid hoofhold and treacherous spot of loose gravel. She finally sighs, speaking up, “It seems my little filly is still too tongue tied to do the deed. Twilight Velvet, pleasure to meet’cha.”
“Likewise,” Doug replies with a smile, though he pauses slightly as he moves forward to bump her hoof. “Your voice sounds oddly familiar.”
“Don’t know who you’re talking about there,” Velvet says with a slight smirk as they bump hooves. “Never heard it meself.”
“Heh, I’ve said the same thing about my dad,” Doug says as he sits down cross-legged, turning to the blue unicorn stallion.
“And I’m where Twilight got her fascination with the night sky! Night Light, at your service.” The blue unicorn bows, Doug inclining his head in return. Night Light continues, a hint of a smile playing on his face, “Did you know that there are exactly ten thousand stars visible in the night sky? Every one with a name?” His horn lights, the lamps in the room briefly going dark. All of a sudden hundreds, then thousands of tiny pinpricks of light appear around them.
“I can believe that,” Doug says in awe, glancing up at the ceiling and the resulting mosaic. It depicts, in excruciating detail, the entirety of the night sky, thousands of tiny specks of white amid a sea of cobalt, a large crescent moon that seems to flicker between pure white and a rocky depiction of the Mare in the Moon, as if the stallion himself is having trouble deciding whether or not she belongs there.
Night Light continues, “Princess Celestia lights every one of them one by one, though she goes so quickly you might never notice. But she never lights them in the same order. In fact, of the ten thousand stars that Princess Celestia - well, now Princess Luna - light every night, she has never once had any one star follow the same star twice.”
Doug, slightly wowed, exclaims, “That’s! That’s…” He trails off, his eyes scrunching as a hand comes up to stroke his chin. “Hold on.”
Night Light barely turns his head to wink at Twilight Velvet, the mare rolling her eyes just slightly in return. Twilight Sparkle grins, having worked through the math on this particular brain teaser before.
“That doesn’t sound quite right,” Doug says hesitantly, now making little hash marks in the air with a finger. “No,” he says with finality, “That’s impossible.”
Night Light, his thin, reedy voice straining to stay straight, “Excuse me, I do believe that I’m the resident astrologer here, and in charge of coordinating the unicorns who would do the exact thing we’re talking about should Princess Celestia be incapacitated for any reason.” He lets a touch of anger slip as he says, “You don’t think that I know what I’m doing?”
“I think your math doesn’t add up,” Doug says neutrally, focusing his attention on Night Light. “Celestia’s been doing this for a thousand years. Even if there is a way to get all ten thousand numbers to line up with each other perfectly, so that there is never a repeat between any of them - and I can’t prove it, but I don’t think there is - then, at the very least, after thirty years you run out of numbers.”
“He’s got you there,” Velvet says, finally allowing a smirk to spread across her face like a crescent moon.
“Thanks, Twi,” Doug says, not noticing that it wasn’t his Twilight that spoke. “Maybe if you had a billion stars to potentially choose from,” Doug starts, though he stops as Night Light walks up and puts a hoof around his shoulder.
Night Light smiles as he pulls Doug off to the side, “Heh, you know, I think you’re the first pony without a degree in mathematics to call me out on that. Most ponies just go with the flow and nod along.” Twilight Sparkle beams at her dam, Velvet returning a grudging nod. Night Light gets a far off look in his eyes, just wandering from one star to another. “I just love putting everything in order! Finding the perfect place for every little letter and number.” He turns to Doug, “You do something similar? I heard you’re a working stallion, like me. And Shining Armor over there.”
“Yup!” Doug replies, relaxing as Night Light’s aura of stars fades, glancing over at the white unicorn still slowly recovering. “I work with our lead mare Applejack on the farm, Sweet Apple Acres. Mostly doing logistical stuff, but as a farmhand - sorry, farmhoof - too. And then I work with Cloudsdale, figuring out the weather for the various towns and cities across Equestria. Scheduling what weather they’re going to have, and some of the towns even have me play pit boss, determining which pony works which shift.”
“Really? Those feather brains finally decide to let somepony else take care of their analytics, huh?” Night Light shakes his head, “Well, good on them. Sounds like a fascinating job, lots of fun, but I’ve been told that I like doing things other ponies don’t have the mind for. But, that’s the best part about life, isn’t it? Finding some niche you like doing that others don’t, and getting paid for it.”
“Never work a day in your life,” Doug says with a grin, reaching over to bump hooves with Night Light. He glances over to Shining Armor, the large, muscled unicorn finally recovering from his airsickness. “I bet you enjoy what you do, too.”
“Not as much as it sounded like you enjoyed doing my little sister,” he says forcefully, trying to keep a steady glare in his eyes, though his bluster is crippled by the twinge of green around his cheeks.
Doug merely chuckles, a wry smile, slowly nodding his head as he barely shrugs his shoulders. He glances at Night Light, noting the similarities between the two stallion’s voices.
“Aww,” Shining Armor moans, lightly stamping a hoof on the floor, miffed at the lack of quivering fear he was going for. “I worked on that line the whole ride here! And I had a lot of time to do that! Since I, um, wasn’t trying to keep my breakfast intact the entire time.”
“Bummer.” Doug glances back to Sparkle and Velvet, the two casually listening in on them. Velvet has a knowing smile while Sparkle seems a little anxious at the turn in their conversation. “Long flight? I can’t stand the chariots either, but that’s because I know I’m seconds away from falling in a giant lawn dart.” He pauses for a second, remarking to himself, “Maybe I just need a parachute or something.”
Shining Armor snorts, “Yeah. Used to love flying around, too, always zipping around on a shield! I’d take a chariot if I had to, but much like Twily here and her teleporting, there’s something about moving around on your own power that can’t be beat. But then one day I took a tumble, and ever since then I haven’t been able to look at a chariot without feeling a little green.”
Doug can’t help but chuckle to himself, “Silver stallion shield surfing? Sounds superbly sublime.”
Shining Armor grins as he nods, “It’s hard to keep your concentration doing it, but a fun vantage point for a unicorn.” He shakes his head, “But, yeah, Captain of the Guard over here. Stationed in Canterlot, where I met…” Shining Armor trails off, looking at Twilight Sparkle, his eyes briefly flickering to a hard glare before they relax, now neutral as he continues. “Princess Celestia. She got me dueling with the Prince a few times, practicing my shields when I was an early recruit. After he left for a tour Princess Celestia started pushing me up the ranks, finding tutors for me even though I was in school, that sort of thing to help speed me along. Hard times, grueling work, but it made me the mare I am today!”
“Right on,” Doug says, offering a hoof that Shining Armor bumps. “Might have heard a couple stories about you, good to put a face to the name.”
“Oh?” Shining Armor drawls out, though his smile and eyes say he knows all about what Doug is talking about, but the confidential conversation hasn’t reached the other unicorns in the room. Except for Rarity, she has a knowing smirk about her. “Really.”
Doug doesn’t seem to catch on, though. He gets a few words in, only uttering “Yup. Cay-” before Shining Armor cuts him off.
Shining Armor’s forces a laugh out, “Cay-n’t say that I quite know what you mean, Doug.” The human gets the hint this time, shutting up. Shining Armor pointedly looks at Twilight Sparkle, “I mean, you can’t just forget to tell your family about such a big event in your life, right?” Shining Armor grins at his sister, “So, it’s not like this is going to come around and nip you in the flank, you know?”