Kitchen Nightmares

by Acoustic Pulse


Remodeling & Re-Opening

Gordon and his renovation crew immediately went to work stripping off the chipped purple paint on the outside of the building. He looked around at the other ones. Something dawned on him.

"All these fucking restaurants look exactly the fucking same," he grumbled.

One of his crewponies turned to him, "Gordon, I got an idea. The Tasty Treat is a stupid name, we should change it."

Gordon thought for a moment and replied, "No. It's still gonna keep the same name. I'm only repainting the outside and the inside. Get your boys to clear everything out. We're not going to get this done if all we do is stand here looking stupid. Let's get to it."

His crewponies threw up mock salutes, "YES CHEF!"

Gordon shook his head, but it made him laugh, which was their goal. He went inside, the paint had been scraped off to only see blank wooden walls.

"Alright, we need the new kitchen equipment. I bought new ones. New grills, ovens, refrigeration units, freezers, the whole nine yards," Gordon told them.

"Oh, yeah, we're currently taking out the old stuff. We'll get to it in a little while," his crewpony explained.

"Okay, that's fine, just take your time and do it right. You're all doing great, let's keep it up," Gordon motivated his crew.

They removed the old equipment. Oil and grease stains were caked and splattered all over the back wall.

Gordon stared and sighed, "Luna damn it, I told them to move the shit back and clean that wall. I'm gonna have to grill them a new ass when they come back in tomorrow. For now, let's just get this clean."

Gordon grabbed a bottle of degreaser and opened it, "Gonna pour this across the wall. Just let it soak, we'll come back through with sponge and water when it dries, it'll be easier to clean it."

The renovation crew obliged and scraped the paint off the other walls. They took down the old decorations and put them carefully in boxes.

"I think these new ones will remind them more of home. I had them sent all the way here from their homeland. The artisans there were happy to help. Definitely going back there to visit sometime," Gordon rambled.

"Sounds good, we'll get to it then," one of his crewponies said.

Together, Gordon and his crew repainted the walls this orange with tinges of red and yellow.

"It looks like fire," one of the crewponies smiled at how it turned out.

"This is exactly how I envisioned it, this is great. That degreaser should be dry. Let's wash that wall off and paint it when it dries," Gordon said.

They went to work cleaning the wall. Once the grease and oil stains were gone, they were left to wait for it to dry. When it was dry, they painted the wall to look just like the rest of them.

"This is excellent. We're almost done. We just need to install the new kitchen equipment and then the paint can dry overnight. Good work, everypony," Gordon rallied his troops for one final mission.

Together, they all set up the new kitchen and they were finally done remodeling the inside.

"Last thing before we leave, we have to finish the outside wall. It hasn't been painted yet," Gordon took the paint and brushes outside.

His crew followed him out and they unanimously agreed to paint it the same design as the inside. They took down the profile of the elephant and replaced it with a huge ceramic elephant head. They hung up the old sign just above the door when they walked in.

"We're ready. Thank you all for your help. Go on home, get some rest, you all earned it. I'll pay you lot extra bits for getting all this done in one night," Gordon pulled a light cord inside that lit up the new neon sign.

His renovation crew left. Gordon returned to Tirek's Kitchen. He wasn't tired so he went up to check on his teams of chefs.

He started with the red kitchen. He tapped on the door, "Red team?"

They were all awake talking to each other. Apple Tarty opened the door. She shrunk back when she saw Chef Ramsay.

"Good evening, I have a proposition for you lot. I haven't spoken to the Blue Team about it yet, but they will have the same opportunity," he offered.

"What's the deal, chef?" one of the other mares asked.

"Easy. I'm picking one member from each team. Those two will get to cook at the grand reopening of that old run down shop down the street," Gordon replied.

This was Apple Tarty's shot at redemption. She jumped up eagerly, "I'll do it!"

The other red team members began to bicker about it.

"ENOUGH! Talk amongst yourselves and come back to me once you have decided on who to nominate," Gordon quelled the arguing.

He turned to leave, but another member of the red team stopped him, "Chef. We decided to let Apple Tarty do it."

"Sounds like a plan. Get some rest, we have a big day tomorrow," he exited.

Gordon moved down the hall to where the blue team was staying. He knocked on the door, "Blue team?"

A member of the blue team opened the door and yawned, "Hey, Chef Ramsay. What's up?"

"Hello, Typhoon. Are you the only one awake?" he asked.

The blue team member scanned the room, "I think so."

"Well, you snooze, you lose. I need your help with something," Gordon replied.

"Sure, Chef. What can I do for you?" he inquired.

"I need you to help Coriander and Saffron across the street. They're reopening their place tomorrow and it's going to be packed. I got Apple Tarty from the Red Team. I'll be there as well, so we'll get everything done. I'll need you to double as waiting staff because they're shorthoofed," Gordon Ramsay explained the situation.

"Absolutely. I'm down. See you tomorrow, I'll be there with bells on," Typhoon smiled.

"That's what I like to hear. Have a good night, I'll see you tomorrow," Gordon left.


A new day dawned. It was time to reopen the Tasty Treat. Gordon and his two chefs were already there.

It wasn't long before Coriander Cumin and Saffron Masala arrived. They stared at the new restaurant in disbelief.

"It's beautiful," Saffron couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, it is. Thank you for doing this, Chef Ramsay," Coriander took a respectful bow.

"Don't thank me yet, my friends, there's a lot of work left to be done," Gordon replied.

"Of course," Coriander turned the closed sign to open. Gordon saw curious customers leaving other restaurants and making their way toward the Tasty Treat.

"I'm glad to see it's fixed up. I used to eat here a lot but the quality went way down and I was afraid to come back. I'm willing to give this place another chance, a customer said.

"Welcome to the Tasty Treat! Find a seat, we'll get you something to eat," Saffron smiled and opened the door, letting the patrons in. They all corralled inside the building, finding places to sit.

Coriander went around taking their orders. Saffron, Gordon, Apple Tarty, and Typhoon worked together cooking in the kitchen.

"I love this new equipment, it even sparkles when it's filthy," Saffron smiled.

"Don't let that get to your head. If I come in here and see food stains on that stove, I'll make you eat it," Gordon scowled.

Saffron nodded, "Yes, Chef."

Gordon laughed, "I'm just playing with you. A clean kitchen is important though, remember to do that every night after closing."

"Of course, we won't let you down," Coriander called from the dining room.

"Better not, I don't like wasting my time," Gordon replied.

The front door opened again and everyone froze except for Gordon. You could hear a pin drop when 2 ponies entered the establishment, food critics Last Word and Zesty Gourmand.

"What's everypony doing in this run down old trash heap?" Zesty raised an eyebrow.

Gordon slammed his hoofs on the front counter, "The only thing old and run down in here is you, old hag. You have more bags under your eyes than a supermarket. Either sit your arrogant ass down and eat or fuck off. The patrons are enjoying their evening and do not want it ruined by some airhead who thinks she knows every-fucking-thing."

"Old hag? The absolute nerve! I'll try their food one more time. If it's still bad, I'll leave another scathing review in the Canterlot Gazette and I'll be going after your place next. I have the power around here, we both know that," Zesty shot back.

Last Word had already taken his seat and was eating his order of curry, "Dude, I dunno what your problem is, this is the best damned curry in all of Equestria and you're not even going to try it?"

"Best in Equestria? Are you mad?" Zesty scoffed.

Last Word shoved the bowl in her face, "Just try it, you stubborn packmule."

Zesty just about faced and left the restaurant, skulking in defeat.

"Just like last time, father," Saffron giggled.

Coriander laughed along with her, "I'm ecstatic! I can't believe Gordon pulled this off. We're back on the map!"

Last Word finished his meal, "Way to rebound, guys. I'm proud of you both."

"Thank you. We couldn't have done it without Chef Ramsay," Coriander shamelessly admitted.

"You should be thanking your daughter. She was the one who enlisted my help in the first place," Gordon pointed out.

"Of course, I'm always grateful for her. She's my pride and joy," Coriander hugged his daughter.

Saffron returned the hug. The reopening was a success. Gordon, Apple Tarty, and Typhoon stayed to help them with the dinner rush. There was still much to be done, but their future looked bright and their confidence restored.

THE END!