{Over the course of the next two weeks the Wonderbolt Academy sure had a different feeling to it, and it was almost entirely dark. Rumors of Searing Wind quitting the Bolts spread like wildfire, much like her namesake. That much of the rumors were consistent. The reason for her quitting was what was up for speculation.
{A lot of my fellow cadets looked at me as a potential explanation. Some knew about the time she picked on me, somehow, but far more known about the time Searing Wind almost attacked Stern Wing.
{I heard other rumors too, of course. That she was cracking under the stress of her job. That she had a family emergency. That one of her wings got some cumulative injury that she was trying to hide from the public eye.
{Overall it was a depressing atmosphere, and I was not immune to it.
{The drill instructors sounded fine for the most part but I suspected that they were just better at hiding their own feeling. Besides, they had their work to throw themselves into.
{I know they were not fools, however. They must have noticed a performance drop and they probably had a pretty good idea as to why. I kept expecting them to give the whole Academy a pep talk because of it, but they never did. It was almost as if they were embarrassed and wanted to sweep this whole issue under the rug as swiftly as possible and, until then, they acted like nothing was wrong.
{More than ever before, I gained a growing feeling that I did not fit in with the Bolts or even my fellow cadets. Those that were left at any rate. It was actually around this time more and more of them dropped out. Statistically that was expected given the history of the Academy, but I couldn't help but notice precisely when most of the dropouts occurred. It didn't feel like a coincidence that many more cadets dropped out just when things started to get depressing there.
{To be honest, I had thoughts like that myself. There were a lot of things going through my head and, over time, I started to notice an ever piling list of problems with me remaining with the Bolts.
{My wind control could make me the fastest and most enduring flier in the sky, though not necessarily the most maneuverable. That's not to say I was bad at maneuverability by any means but, when I compare myself to the incredible talents of some of the other cadets, it helped to remind me that this Academy usually does attract the best of the best.
{To achieve my best speed, however, I had to make the winds blow on me very hard and that's also the reason why maneuverability was occasionally an issue for me. The faster I fly, the weaker the turn.
{I could focus and narrow those winds to increase speed within the wind tunnel while also minimizing the external intensity of the winds. It was a fine balancing art.
{To be sure, I had become the best flier I had ever been in my life up to that point. I learned many new fancy tricks and I greatly improved my own personal flying skills. For this reason alone, it made my time in the Academy worth it.
{Beyond that, however, what else did I have to look forward to?
{Fitting in with the Academy socially was quite a chore. There was also the fact that I did not like to perform in general. Not in front of an audience. I was too shy for that, and that was a part of my personality too stubborn to be shaken off lightly. That alone blew a major hole in my incentive to remain with the Bolts. If they are a performance troops first and foremost, then me being shy was a huge flaw in my plan to remain with the Bolts.
{My wind control also messed up other ponies flight formations. The degree of precision control they needed as a team in the sky demanded that I refine my tactics but I just couldn't do that, though there were some advantages to my strategy too.
{I could give the other fliers a boost using the wind for example, and precision flying could also mean controlling the wind over my partners as well but it greatly complicated my efforts. There was already so much for me to pay attention to just on a personal level. It was made even harder if I had to keep track of and deliberately affect the movements of all my peers as well just to make sure I didn't cause an accident.
{If done well, it could visually achieve very fantastic results for unique reasons, but it was just too overwhelming and stressful for me to keep up on a daily basis. If I ever messed up and unintentionally caused an accident, it could have been a really bad accident with the kinds of speeds I'm talking about.
{I'm sure, with a great deal of practice, I could have gotten better at this technique, but not soon enough to prevent a problem and never enough to be completely safe. If my inherent strategy for flying was a problem then it blew another huge hole in my plans to remain with the Bolts.
{I also thought about Searing Wind. She stood as a vivid example of everything I had once imagined about the best of the Wonderbolts. They could be an emergency response team when needed, and I was there personally when they did precisely that. Searing Wind was the very pony that saved my life but, upon closer examination, I learned that life was a great deal more complicated than the idealistic picture I once had in mind.
{Having seen her flaws up close, it made me realize the same was probably true of the rest of the Bolts in one way or another. They were all flawed in some way and they all had personal issues. Military training could never cancel that out completely.
{After watching the Bolts fall apart a little bit after Searing Wind quit, it made me realize that they might not have been as close or cohesive as I originally thought. It could've been a sign of how much they cared about her, but that would have also indicated how fragile their morale could be. If those who can inspire me can also disappoint me, what do I turn to next for my heroes?
{The word itself can be quite ambiguous because it all depends on the perspective of the viewer, just like the opinions on what is considered beautiful.
{But perhaps the biggest problem with my time in the Academy came from deep within.
{Testing my limits was fine and, to a point, I'm glad I did it, but something felt off about disciplining the wind itself to that degree. The wind is an element of pure nature and, by its very nature, it's meant to be wild and free. It can be useful at times and it always is when I need it to, but setting a schedule to it and fixed routine practiced over and over again . . . something felt inherently wrong about that.
{It's not to say I disrespect the ponies who find comfort in this lifestyle. It has many advantages. It's the best strategy for working as a team as effectively and efficiently as possible.
{But the wind . . . it didn't feel right to put it in a box and put a label on it. It wasn't meant to be at the beck and call of some militaristic force for their personal convenience and amusement for the masses.
{Instead, it is intrinsic to the entire planet, and that demanded a level of flexibility this kind of lifestyle doesn't easily allow. If I am the wind as well then my destiny is tied to the destiny of the wind itself, and the wind serves no individual pony. Instead, it serves all creatures everywhere, and that's probably what I was meant to do as well. I was meant to serve all life by going where and when I'm needed the most.
{More and more I started to realize this lifestyle among the Bolts was too limiting. Like the wind, I'm supposed to be wild and free. I'm supposed to be ready to go wherever and whenever I need to go.
{Forcing the wind to serve a military can be done but it feels like swimming against the flow of the river. It feels like defying nature rather than cooperating with it. I don't begrudge those who choose to stay here, but I started to realize why this path wasn't for me specifically.
{On the day before I quit the Bolts for the final time, I had a chance to speak with Sky Dancer about my experiences with the Bolts so far and how I felt about it. I told him everything, kind of like I'm doing with you right now. It irked me slightly that he didn't seem a bit surprised, like he already knew this was going to be the final outcome.}
“Sometimes you have to take the wrong path in life before you find the right one,” Sky Dancer pointed out. “Until you do, you'll never know why it was wrong to begin with. The right path isn't always obvious either.
“Well, it was for me, but this isn't about me. It's about you, and your life. It's about your destiny and your choices.”
“Do you really think I should quit?” Feather Wind asked with a painful wince. Even saying that made him feel dirty, like the mere mention of quitting was inherently wrong.
“It doesn't matter what I think. It matters what you think, so what do you think?” Sky Dancer reflected.
“I don't like performing, I can't seem to fit in with a social group that requires bold personalities and high egos, I hate competition, my hero-worship of the Bolts ended up more complicated than I thought, my method of flying is disruptive to the rest of the fliers and I can't circumvent it, and it feels just plain wrong to try.
“I got this power in the first place by listening to the spirit of the wind but, ever since I joined the Bolts, the voice of the wind feels like it's backed off and quietly waiting for me to realize why this is a mistake.
“I hate the idea of labeling myself a quitter, but if I'm to serve Equestria in some larger and more meaningful role then . . . does it make it right?”
“The Wonderbolts was never meant to be a prison, it's supposed to be a privilege for those who really belong here. If you can't understand that, then you already have your answer,” Sky Dancer replied.
Feather Wind looked depressed. “I guess I do, but I still feel reluctant.
“Like it or not, I think there are some ponies here that look up to me. They look forward to seeing what I'll do next, and some ponies here are excited by the prospect of seeing the very first unicorn Wonderbolt.”
“Perhaps someday there will be, but don't let that mere idea shackle you. Stay only because it feels right, otherwise don't.” Sky Dancer gave a simple shrug. “The reason you came here was to find out if this place would be a right fit for you. If your experience is teaching you that it is not a good fit, then there is no shame in that.
“Most fresh cadets drop out within the first couple of weeks. You lasted two months. That's a testament to your endurance and your talents. You've already broken a lot of records here, and you've turned some heads for far more than one reason. It is a legacy you will always have in your life.
“But, if you really are meant to do more with your life then, by all means, don't let this place hold you back from what you are really meant to do.
“When you do find your true destiny, it will feel perfect, just like the time you found your cutie mark except on a larger scale. That was just one moment of perfection. Being in sync with your destiny feels far better. It's about waking up every single day overjoyed to be alive. It's about looking forward to the challenges you face rather than dreading them. It's about loving your job so much that being paid for it simply feels like an unnecessary bonus because you love it enough to be willing to do it for free.
“I'll let you in on a little secret. While nearly every pony finds their cutie mark eventually, very few find their perfect destiny afterward. Most ponies go to their graves with regrets in their life, and this is why. Letting go of something that feels kind of right and kind of wrong can be very hard because you might feel uncertain if anything will replace it if you let it go. All I can tell you about that is to be brave. Let go of the things that no longer serve you, and plunge onward.
“You told me that, at one time, you were so desperate to find your place in the world that you literally leapt off a cliff. The first time the wind had to save you from a lethal fall, and the second time you flew.
“Remember that feeling. Remember the time you went that far to discover your true self.
“The real danger of adulthood is complacency. It is the pitfall most of us get trapped in because most of us never escape it. Most of us tend to stay in it for so long that we adjust and reorient ourselves into thinking that the hole is the new 'normal',” Sky Dancer said with hoof quotes, “but you are still young, and the wind is still calling out to you. Answer it.
“When you find your path, it will be far better than this one, and if this one feels good in any way then imagine how much better your true path will feel.”
“I've been thinking about something my father told me many times when I was younger, about how my mark doesn't chain me to one destiny. He said the fact I was a unicorn meant I was supposed to master magic as well. I was born in a family normally gifted with that. His argument, therefore, seems sound when I carefully measure all the facts that are involved in my life.
“But, here in this Academy, I keep on being told, 'No-no-no! Quit with the hocus-pocus. That's not how we do things around here. We don't use magic like that. If you want to use magic, go back to a magic academy. This is the Wonderbolts Academy, and here we only train the best fliers in Equestria.'
“That argument is sound as well because it matches the intent of the Academy.
“Frankly, I was surprised I managed to get in at all but, after I did, I kept on encountering one barrier after another. Don't do this, don't do that, do it this way, do it that way. It all feels so terribly limiting.”
“Then imagine a destiny without those limits,” Sky Dancer encouraged. “A place where you can fly and cast spells to your heart's content.
“If you really master both, well then . . . there is no academy for that. There is an academy for each separately but not of the two combined into one idea. Maybe Celestia herself can give you a few tips but that's about all I can think of.
“It's perfectly fine to be the pioneer of a brand new art, but such ponies cannot look upon others for guidance when it comes to past experience. If you really are the first to do something, then you are the closest thing this world has to an expert in that particular field and that's fine! It's a bold and brave choice, but at least then you get the honor of being the first to do something.
“Also, when it comes to exploring a new art, wild freedom is a helpful tactic because there are no instructions for what you are about to do, although you could write down those instructions as you discover them if you want to.
“As a member of the Scroll family, you should have some experience in this affair. Teach others how you did it then you won't be so alone.”
“What about you?” Feather Wind wondered with a look to Sky Dancer. “How's life among the Wonderbolts treating you?”
“Me? It's great!” Sky Dancer cheered brightly as he spread his wings with delight. “I can say this path is meant for me because I deeply appreciate every aspect of it.
“Flying with the Bolts is great. Inspiring the next generation of ponies is great. Being a pony that I once looked up to and wanted to be when I grow up is great.
“I will never tire of waking up in the morning and keep on doing this.
“I love this career path choice and I love my life, but that's just me. I'm my own separate pony. I'm me and you're you. You have to find your own way. Just like it was when you sought your cutie mark, keep on exploring until you find something that feels just perfect. Until you do find it, keep on exploring. Every wrong path you take guides you to the correct one, and therefore it wasn't a waste of time. Eventually, when you do find the right path, you can also look fondly at your memories of exploring the wrong paths because it added spice and variety to your life. Trying a little of this and a little of that can feel fulfilling when you add it all up.”
“How will I know when I have discovered the right path?” Feather Wind asked in concern.
“You'll know it when the challenges within it, and there will always be challenges, feel fun and exciting rather than dreadful or boring. You will know you found it when you realize that everything you have done before that moment has been leading up to this. When you get there, everything falls into place and it just makes sense.
“The only way I can best describe it is it's like the day you discovered your cutie mark. It's the same inner feeling except it's ongoing.
“Whatever path you're meant to follow, also know that the rest of Equestria needs you to fulfill that role. You were born for a special purpose. We all have! Finding that place also means being the perfect fit for every pony around you as well. When you do what you are meant to do and no other pony can take your place, well then . . . there is harmony.”
Feather Wind smiled fondly at his friend, then looked down, then looked forward as he declared, “I don't care how old I get. I will never stop looking at you as a mentor and a dear friend. You fulfilled those roles for me perfectly every step of my journey, and I am infinitely grateful to you for that.”
“Aw! Thanks, little dude.” Sky Dancer ruffled Feather Wind's mane with a noogie. “As I said before, it feels good to be an inspiration to somepony. Someday it will be your turn to fulfill that role for somepony else, and that's fine. The cycle will continue.”
Like me, for example, Star Breeze thought to herself happily. If I didn't know better, I'd say this Sky Dancer was a prophet too, just like the oracle.
Sky Dancer looked up with a long, pleasant sigh, then said aloud, “Huh. 'Sky Dancer, the First Flying Unicorn'. I remember that was the title of your first poem. That little poem has called me to you, and look what's happened since.”
Sky Dancer smiled at Feather Wind as he said, “Every bird must leave the nest someday. Eventually I will have nothing left to teach you, so you'll have to learn the rest of your lessons on your own or find a new mentor who will further your potential to the next level.
“Our relationship feels perfect because it was meant to be by fate, and I helped guide you to your next step but only you can cross that final threshold. I have my own path to fulfill in the meanwhile, and I wish you luck in your own journey.” Sky Dancer spread his wings then said, “Take care,” one final time before leaping and soaring off.
{I sat there alone for a while, contemplating what he said and the other conclusions I reached on my own. Eventually I took off as well, following the call of the wind.}
xoxo
Feather Wind sat at the top of a mountain that narrowed down to this one tip. Above him, there was a huge whirling cyclone of wind, visible to the naked eye due to the clouds that whirled within it. Within those clouds there were flashes of lightning and rolls of thunder spinning around him.
It didn't rain on him. If those were rain clouds, it was more likely the water would be flung outside of that cyclone due to the centrifugal force of the spin.
As Feather Wind looked up into this whirling storm, lightning flashes reflected in his eyes.
It didn't feel good to quit the Bolts. It felt like breaking a promise.
That wasn't really true. Just about any pony was welcome to join or quit the Academy and, as Searing Wind clearly demonstrated, even making it into the Bolts officially didn't bar her from quitting. At each level of the ladder, no pony was stuck. The Academy could kick somepony out of the Bolts or the individual could leave on their own volition. It works both ways.
To get this far, however, required an intense commitment and that felt painful to just back out of. If he did, he had to wonder what would replace it.
Feather Wind closed his eyes and reviewed everything he knew. The wrong social group, the wrong technique, the wrong ideology, and most importantly the wrong feeling.
His powers and abilities stemmed from a direct connection with nature itself and one aspect of it in particular. If that's a hint to what he was supposed to do instead, then what did nature itself do?
Looking up into the dizzying, whirling sky around him for inspiration, he realized the answer to that question was quite complicated, especially from the perspective of a single mortal being.
What the sky did in totality required a very big picture to understand, but the basic principle of it is similar to the blood circulating within his own body. He is made up of a vast variety of complex parts but together they work in harmony to serve a larger purpose. Nature itself is like that on a larger scale.
But he also had ego. He had self-awareness. That's actually worked to his detriment more often than not, but it didn't have to be that way. Consciousness could be used for useful things too. It's all a matter of perspective.
When it came to his innate connection to nature itself, his feelings and instincts tended to be the better guide.
He sat on that mountain at that particular moment because it simply felt right at the time. He felt like he needed that moment to help him ascend to the next level of his life.
In order to do that, however, he had to learn to let go of the past. If it didn't serve him anymore then it needed to be abandoned. To be as light as air itself requires a heart free from burdens. He had to be willing to let everything go and simply be the wind itself.
So Feather Wind meditated like he did so many years ago. He'd been on many fun and distracting detours since then, but it was time to get back to basics.
He breathed in deeply, then exhaled deeply. Each breath he took filled him with magic and power.
As he listened to the wind, he started to realize his perspective was too narrow all along. The wind was available at his beck and call, true, but that was only a fraction of the truth. He was in tune with the entire sky and everything that was within it. The clouds, rain, lightning, thunder. All of these things worked in tandem with each other. None of these things were complete without a willingness to look at the big picture.
So he flew upwards, drifted up by the wind. All he did was lighten his body weight. The wind itself carried him up to the center of the giant stormy cyclone.
He spread his legs in every direction while keeping his eyes closed. He drew in everything around him. As he did so, he could feel the storm closing in around him. He found he did not have to open his eyes to see it. When he was really in tune with nature, he just knew where everything was instinctually. He could feel the flow and he let it guide him then, with a little more practice, he started to guide the flow himself. He had it duck and weave all about him. He felt like a conductor in a symphony. The sky itself danced to his music, then he used his own magic to project an inner song from his head. The sound of that song was carried in the winds and spiraled all around him, somehow amplified which turned the entire storm into a giant speaker.
As a test, he suddenly froze the storm. All of the sounds around him ceased. Everything grew still and quiet except for rain which suddenly fell from the sky ever since the clouds no longer tried to hold it up. Feather Wind drifted downward, falling as slow as a feather.
I see. So this is my destiny, or at least my larger self. I'm not just the wind, I'm the entire sky and all the weather within it. Interesting.
All Feather Wind had to do after that was figure out what he should do with that power.
But, for that moment, it didn't feel like he had to do anything. He could just let the sky be itself, just as he should be himself.
Having a great power does not require one to use it all the time. Maybe it was better to simply realize it could be called upon but there was no urgent need to do so yet. The realization itself was the only important lesson for the day.
Even if something came up later that would make this power useful, it did not have to be used to its fullest degree. This power was too great, too mighty to require its maximum usage every single time. Instead, it was important to learn to use it only as necessary and to the degree the problem called for.
Until then, the default was to let the sky be itself. It did what it does for a good reason and, even when it did require direct manipulation (as pegasi do all the time), it was important to move with grace and purpose, and never further than the need called for.