The Rule of King Cocoon of the Changelings

by Hooves Like Jagger


10th: Do Us Part

The Rule of King Cocoon of the Changelings

I should have known that bumbling idiot wouldn't come back! Arriving one or two hours late would have been one thing, but ditching me completely? If he ever shows his misshapen face to me again, I'll stick his beard in the wheels of the next train to Canterlot!

All day long, it's been the same drill! "Where's your father little filly?" they say! "Did you lose your daddy?" they ask! I'm sick and tired of covering for his rancid carcass! If he doesn't come back with the best news I've ever heard in either of my lives, I'll see to it that I'm the youngest Queen of the Changelings in history! You think I'm joking, but I'm dead serious!

I'm gonna murder Cocoon!

I'd bet anything he's just skipping out on the wedding. I don't know why he's so intent on avoiding it, it's not so bad. You sit in a pew at town hall, the mayor says some stuff, ponies kiss, and then you mingle. You can suck the love out of the air too. Easiest meal I've ever had... well, maybe not ever.

Right now the mayor of the town is going through all the old stories about the institution of marriage. The story all about how Celestia saw to it that each stallion shall have one mare and each mare shall have one stallion. She sealed this sacred bond blah blah blah rings blah blah matrimony blah blah blah copulation blah blah unbreakable vows blah blah whatever.

She loves him, he loves her, marriage. How have these ponies managed to make it so complicated?

Don't get me started on how much things have changed. I read all the old books about the institution of marriage back in the day, and let me tell you something: there is a lot of goop going down here that wouldn't have happened back then. This wedding is even worse than the one those ponies in Canterlot were preparing. Let me break it down for you.

First off, the bride's dress is freaking me out. It's got some sort of weird, high-cut. I can't see her back hooves, but I can see her cutie mark. That glass of tea is staring at me, saying "Hey, look, flank." Secondly, the groom is wearing a hat. He is wearing a hat! You know? A hat. One of those things you wear to block out the sun? It just screams reverence for Celestia, not that I'm ga-ga about her either. The final point I'll make is that there is no organ. There is a piano, but it's just not the same. I mean, come on ponies! I know you're dumpy little pioneers, but can't you load up a wagon with a proper organ one of these days? It's just... stupid!

"If anypony has any reason these two should not be wed, then speak now or forever hold your peace." I've got a reason for you: they don't know how to have a wedding. I'd also like to point out that "forever hold your peace" is an obsolete clause nowadays. Ever heard of divorce? I should ask Cocoon if weddings are as much of a joke in his world as they are here. Do humans even get married?

*whoosh-bang*

"Don't worry, I'm here! I'm here!" The doors of town hall are suddenly flung open and everypony turns around to see what the pony in the doorway is yelling about. I'm too short to see over the pews, so I have to hop out to see what going o-

Sweet Mother Mantis! It's Sweet Tea!

I blink once or twice to make sure my eyes aren't playing tricks on me. Nope, it's that mare Sweet Tea alright. She looks like she's been through Tartarus to get here. Her mane is a wreck and her hooves have rope dangling off of them. I look back up at the altar.

Oh... oh no he didn't just...

"Wh-what? Who are you?" Cocoon shouts at the pony he is imitating. What is that moron thinking? There is absolutely no benefit in getting betrothed to the deputy of Appleloosa! Is he completely off his rocker?

"Me? Uh, ah'm Sweet Tea," Sweet Tea explains, as if it weren't obvious. I don't know where Cocoon's plan when awry, but boy did it go awry. I mean, sure I wasn't any more successful... but...

"No, Ah am!" Cocoon insists, but the murmurs from the crowd are not in his favor. The groom levitates the white stetson off his head and places it on the altar.

"Y're that slimy snake Cocoon, ain't you?" Quickdraw astutely observes. As if to confirm his suspicions, two bright green flashes erupt from the crowd. Plundergrub and Bloodbuzz take to their wings and tackle the real Sweet Tea.

"Aaaaieeee! Help me!" she screeches. At this point, I don't know whether I should try to help Cocoon or just keep playing innocent. Quickdraw doesn't waste any time though, instead he blasts Cocoon with a brilliant blue bolt. Cocoon nearly flies out of that ridiculous dress as he slams into the opposite wall.

"Ah'm coming!" Quickdraw calls, letting off a few shots at Bloodbuzz and Plundergrub. They abandon their offensive and instantly fly off to gather up their fallen monarch. Bloodbuzz bucks a window to pieces, carrying off the unconscious and still shifted "Drag King" into the wild blue yonder.

City Hall is in a general panic. Everypony is gathering around Sweet Tea, obscuring my view of what's going on. Being small, I manage to navigate my way around the legs and hooves to get a front row view of the mare, who seems to have taken a bit of a beating from my followers. The crowd lets Quickdraw through, allowing him to stoop over his true bride.

"Are you okay?" he asks, propping her head up in her hoof. Her eyes were a bit hazy, but she managed to look up at his and smile. The whole scene just makes me wanna gag...

"This reminds me... of the first time," she whispers just loud enough to be heard.

"The first time what?" Quickdraw chuckles pulling his love a bit closer.

"The first time I fed."

... Did I hear that right?

I must have because Quickdraw's love is being forcefully siphoned out of his wide-open heart! I can feel the torrential force of his thoughts and emotions drain into who I thought wasn't a changeling. Cocoon stops within a hair's breadth of total drainage, letting Quickdraw slump over onto the floor to gasp for breath. Cocoon shifts into his normal body, turning the panic in Town Hall into complete chaos. Cocoon is smiling smugly right at me.

"Did you miss me PC?"

"You'd better be ready to explain yourself!" I shout as I change back to normal. I hover over his head and stare down at him, asserting my dominance.

"Come with me little one and I shall explain everything!" Cocoon chuckles as he grabs me around my torso and carries me out of the confusion. Silverstar tries to stop us at the door by charging Cocoon, but the King of Pacifists jumps over the stallion and lands outside. He stretches out one of his creepy arms and spreads those freaky horns, lighting them with magic. The doors to town hall slam shut and lock tight. He tears out a nearby fencepost and bars the door, successfully trapping what is practically the entire population of Appleloosa. "Don't you love weddings?" he asks, skipping down the road back into town.

"Do humans get married?"

"Yes, but half of them end in divorce," he enlightens me.

"I guess humans and ponies aren't all that different," I observe. He ditches his silly grin for a moment and smiles earnestly at me.

"For better or worse, that seems to be the case."


"Ms. Tea? You feelin' okay?" Braeburn asks the dazed pony. I feel bad about bringing her to his house, and just bringing him into this in general. I'll try and make this quick. Interrogate Sweet Tea, then shake a leg to get out of Appleloosa.

Sweet Tea is tied down to a chair across from me. Braeburn's basement isn't terribly well lit, so this whole situation would probably look pretty dismal to somebody on the outside. Chrysalis is down here too, sitting quietly on the table between me and my prisoner. Bloodbuzz and Plundergrub stand guard at the door. Only Braeburn talks as he tries to rouse Sweet Tea back to consciousness.

"B-braeburn? Wha... where am ah?" Sweet Tea asks, just coming out of her daze. Quickdraw reacted a bit more violently than I expected. Despite that one minor flaw, my plan was executed perfectly. I just pretended to be a kidnapped Sweet Tea so everypony thought the real one was fake. Have changelings take her away, eat the groom's love, and then escape.

"Yer at my house an' I promise you yer safe. There's... someone here you wants to chat with y'all." Sweet Tea's eyes looked across the table and fell on me. Her eyes turned to pinpricks.

"You're... King Cocoon," she rasped. As fear pumped adrenaline into her system, she attempted to struggle free of her restraints.

"Calm down, I'm not your enemy," I attempt to calm her down.

"What do you want?!" she screams. She practically gasping for breath, getting herself worked up into a frenzy.

"I want to get back home, the place you and I belong." Her breathing evens out, but she still looks scared out of her wits.

"Ah don't know what you're talking about," she claims.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." She remains completely silent as she stares me down. "Look, I know you're human."

"Ah don't know what you're talking about."

"Fine, then allow me to elaborate." I take a deep breath, removing the agitation from my tone. "The UCR told me Quickdraw saw my subordinates flying towards Dodge Junction, but I know that's a lie on two accounts. First off, Quickdraw didn't see them. When I came into town he was at the Sheriff's office. Secondly, they weren't seen flying to Dodge Junction. They were seen flying away from the signpost I left. He couldn't have known they were changelings otherwise.

"Actually, he shouldn't have even considered that they were changelings, considering he can't read the message I left. He also shouldn't have been able to respond, but maybe a pony who could read the message could tell him what to put down. I'm guessing a pony who showed up late to work could be a good candidate for that. You had enough time to see my changelings and run to tell Quickdraw. You were watching that rock, weren't you? It hasn't been too long since it touched down, so you probably thought someone or something would come along any day and see the change.

"It boils down to this: you're not afraid of me because I'm King of the Changelings, but because you don't want me to return you to your home." I managed to get through my speech without yelling or getting angry. I kept that smooth, reasonable tone I needed. I want to spit and curse my confusion at her, but I focus on breathing to keep calm.

"... Ah don't want to go back," is all she says. If I knew the way back, I would have sent her right there and then. I would send her back just out of spite. I might be the one explaining things, but I'm the one who is angry and confused.

"What's your real name, where are you from?" She remains silent. "I doubt you developed that accent overnight. Are you from somewhere down south? I knew a girl from Texas who had an accent like yours." She still refuses to say anything. "Tell me about yourself." She looks me dead in the eye and speaks in a shaky voice.

"My name is Sweet Tea, an' I live in Appleloosa." I make a mental note to apologize to Braeburn for breaking his chair after I kick it back and stand up to my full height. I bang my hands on the table, leaning in to bring my face closer to her's.

"You've got a lot of guts. Must be awful proud of yourself, huh?! What's your defect, huh?! Why don't you want to go home?" Each of my breaths are deep but harsh. I grit my teeth and try to bring down my temper.

"This is home."

"Tiger shrimp!" I curse, banging a fist on the table.

"Ah feel more at home here than Ah did back on Earth."

"But it's not home! It will never be home!"

"Why can't it be home?" I can't believe she's asking these questions. Doesn't she know? Isn't it obvious? Am I the only one that's seeing this?

"You didn't move from Kentucky to Kansas! This is an entirely different reality! We don't belong here! It's that simple!" I can feel my body tensing as my anger starts to boil. My breathing isn't strong and audible, but silent and sporadic. If I was a dragon, I'd breath fire.

"Home is where the heart is," she claims. I've had enough of this nonsense.

"Home has nothing to do with 'the heart', okay?"

"You don't understand what it was like for me," she snarls, starting to get indignant herself. "Ah had no friends, mah family was distant, an' everything was just fallin' to pieces." Her expression softens as if she's recalling the most touching moment of her life. "And then Ah came here an' I made friends, got my life together, an' even fell in love. I'm happy here."

"You can be happy on Earth too!" I shout, having blown my fuse halfway through her explanation.

"Aren't you listening? My life back there was terrible!"

"So, what? You, you just quit? You just pack it in and say 'so long life'? Is, is that what I'm hearing? You're just a coward who'd rather take the easy way out?" I back off from the table and begin pacing, chuckling to myself like I used to. "No... no, no, no you can't just... give up! If you try, and I mean really, earnestly try your hardest, things can get better. I mean, ffft-yeah it's hard but... but, I mean, that's life! That's how it goes! You don't bake a cake without breaking a few eggs and you don't get through life without shedding a few tears. Some people hurt more than others, but heck, life is and never will be fair. The bad guys will win and the good guys will lose. It doesn't mean the good guys should just stop being good, you know? The, the fact that people get through life everyday without pushing down everyone they meet and stealing everything they can get their hands on is a sign that, that living life as a good person isn't a flawed system! If that person who does shove everyone to the ground comes and gets you, you stand back up and keep going because you... you gotta go be good. It's not easy and it's not fair, but at the risk of sounding corny I'd like to inform you that life is exactly that. That's life!" My breathing is even again. I continue while my mind isn't spinning with confusion and hatred.

"This, what has happened to me and you, is not life. People don't get knocked out and transplanted into the bodies of otherworldly beings. You and me fell off the train, we got knocked out of the current! We can't stay here and drift around! We have to get back into the flow. We have to get back to our lives! There are people who'll miss us and people who will welcome us back with open arms. If you can't go back for your sake, go back for their sake. If you don't think there is anyone like that, well, you just haven't met them yet. If you don't go back, somebody back home is never going to wonder what their life without you would be like. Doesn't that scare you? Aren't you determined to bounce back from this? This is an extraordinary experience, no doubt about that, but that is all it is. Celebrities and actors and normal people have extraordinary experiences all the time, but that's not where they live. That isn't their life. They have to eat breakfast and walk their dogs too. They have to talk to that guy who they don't like and wait in line. They have to see the ones they love pass away and see their elementary school get bulldozed to make way for a warehouse. They have to go be in love with someone and have someone pat their heads.

"That's why we have to go back. You might think you can have all those things here, but they won't be worth a thing to you. You're not rooted here like you are back home. If you live a lifetime here, you'll just end up regretting it. Please, help me find the path home." I extend my hand to her. I don't need to see my face to know I look sad and pathetic. I haven't felt this miserable since I got here, and all I want is a sign that getting home is possible. It won't get me there, but I want someone like me to empathize with.

"I don't believe you," is the whispered reply. The whisper crushes me. I don't get angry, but there isn't a trace of calm within me either. I lose the strength to keep my hand extended as I just let it flop down to my side. I shuffle over to the opposite wall and put my forehead against it.

"... Bloodbuzz?" I manage to choke out.

"Yes, your majesty."

"Can The Hive house a prisoner?"

"W-what?" Sweet Tea gasps.

"Of course, your majesty." I swallow the lump in my throat as I back off from the wall. I scratch my head and give my orders.

"Bloodbuzz, Plundergrub you two take her back to The Hive and hold her there. You go ahead of me, take Chrysalis and go."

"You can't do that!" Sweet Tea protests, but my servants are already moving to fulfill their duty.

"I'm not leaving until you do," Chrysalis states in a flat tone.

"Fine, but we're not sticking around to have fun." I turn to Braeburn. "I'm sorry I got you tangled up in this. It would be best if you forgot you ever had any dealings with me. Sorry for the chair... and sorry for what I'm about to go do. It would be unwise to follow me."

"... Normally Ah tell everypony that they're always welcome in Appleloosa, but Ah don't think the Appleloosans would want that," he chuckles at his own joke. "I had you figured right, Mr. Cocoon."

"How so?" Braeburn looks up for me, filling my already stuffed belly with unyielding trust.

"Yer not bad, yer just in a bad way. Ya made yer choice, though, an' that choice was to git yerself home. It looks bad to ponies who just see you as a Changeling King, but if'n they could see what I saw an' know what I know now I reckon they'd sympathize with you."

"I'm glad you think so, but so far you're the only pony to hear me out. If the first ponies I met were all like you, I might be home by now. It's a bit of an odd request, but will you hear me out one more time?" I smile despite the dark intentions brewing inside me.

"If'n it's somethin' Ah kin do."

"There is an odd rock outside of town with a message I wrote on it. It's in the language of my homeworld, so only humans can read it. If it's not too far out of the way, add it to the tour of the town." Braeburn cracks a bright smile.

"Ah reckon folks'll be interested if'n I tell them the King of the Changelings put it there. Just do me a favor an' take good care of yerself." Genuine concern feels the same, whether you can eat it or not. By now, Bloodbuzz and Plundergrub have gone. All that remains for me to do is bid farewell to the citizens of Appleloosa.

"You take care too." With one final wave, I tuck Chrysalis under my arm and start my walk out from under the only roof in Equestria that could offer me any refuge.


The Appleloosans managed to get out of city hall. When I emerged from Braeburn's house, I was spotted by somepony I'd spoken with once or twice when I was masquerading as Pinhead. The stallion didn't waste any time in running off, shouting that he'd found me. Nopony ran towards me. Everypony got well out of the way when they either saw me or heard the other ponies calling out my name.

I don't blame them; I didn't give them a reason to trust me.

When I finally reached my destination, the town was quiet. There was only a light breeze blowing across the deserted main street. I'm the first to arrive, but I know there's somepony who wants to see me. I don't know if he'll be up for talking, but I do have some choice words for him.

I absentmindedly start singing to myself, forgetting that Chrysalis is watching and listening from a porch behind me.

"Leave your home... Change your name... Live alone... Eat your cake..."

Sure enough, the orange unicorn emerges from an alley on the other edge of the street.

"Vanderlyle, crybaby cry... oh the waters are risin', there's still no surprisin' you."

I'm amazed at how fast these ponies bounce back after having their love drained. If Chrysalis was able to feed like this off of Shining Armor for several days, it doesn't surprise me she could contend with Celestia herself.

"Vanderlyle, crybaby cry... oh it's all been forgiven, the swans are a swimmin'."

Humans might not belong here, but ponies sure as anything do belong. This is their world and they deserve to be happy in it. If taking away humans infringes on that happiness, I should at least of the courtesy to apologize.

"I'll explain everything to the geeks..."

"Ah don't know if yer stupid er cocky," Quicksilver shouts from the other end of the block. "Standin' out here, singin' to yerself! Tell me whar Sweet Tea is before I splatter yer guts across the street!"

"I can't let her return here, Quickdraw, you know she doesn't belong."

"Ah know her story, but she's happier here! You'd take that away for such a silly reason as not belonging?"

"Yes, I would," is my honest answer. "I offer my condolences; I'm sorry that this all had to happen to you."

"You take her away and now yer apologizing for it?" I shake my head.

"I'm sorry that she ever fell into your life. You're a good pony, so I don't think you deserve this sort of dilemma." I can't exactly read his expression from so far away, but I can tell by his silence that he's having trouble formulating his response.

"Y'all're the craziest thing to ever breath Equestrian air."

"I've said my piece, so it's time for me to go." I could have turned and walked away, but that would have been foolish. Keeping my gaze fixed on Quickdraw allows me to sidestep the azure projectile he fires out of his horn.

"Silverstar is gettin' the UCR right now. I dunno if I kin best y'all, but I think I kin hold you up fer a little while."

Just like the the fight is on.

Quickdraw lives up to his name, firing off round after round of searing shots in rapid succession. I never was very good at dodgeball, so I opted to put out my hands and form a barrier between me and the trigger happy stallion. My barrier is sturdy, but I realize it won't last forever. Deciding to take a risk, I put down the barrier.

I inhale and condense energy into my right hand, forming a neat little ball of fire. I step back to dodge another one of Quickdraw's shots by a narrow margin and then step back up and pitch the ball of energy with a smooth exhale. Quickdraw stops firing to jump clear out of the way. Just like back in Manehattan, the orb expands with a flash of green flames. Quickdraw isn't close enough to be in danger, but a nearby building is not so lucky.

It's only a small tongue of flame that reaches out and grabs the wooden structure, but it takes immediately and quickly. I can't watch as the flames spread, but only because Quickdraw has disregarded it to continue firing at me. I throw my barrier back up in order to defend myself, but I know I have only a few seconds to think up another strategy.

Luckily, somepony leans out a window and douses the fire with a bucket of water. I don't want to risk burning the city down, so I need to attack with a different spell. I only know one other way to attack with my magic, and thankfully it's given me good results in the past.

I can't wait for another lull in Quickdraw's assault, so I risk life and limb to put down the barrier. I duck an incoming shot before jumping out of the way of a shot aimed at my abdomen. I have to hand it to Quickdraw; not only is he quick but he's accurate. Without bothering to focus my breathing with my attack, I extend my hand and force magic out the old-fashioned way. The response is a crack of green lightning that jumps from my fingers to the other end of the block where Quickdraw is standing. The attack misses by a nose, but Quickdraw flinches.

This is where having two arms with five horns attached comes in handy.

I reach out with my other hand and let another bolt of green magic fly out. The bolt connects with Quickdraw's horn. His body flashes and pulses green as arcs of green energy fly from the tip of his horn and eyes. When the quick display ends, he stands at the end of the street in a daze. On the outside, he doesn't appear to have taken any damage, but on the inside he must be feeling hurt.

He attempts to charge another bolt, but I silence the attempt and any successive attempt with another bolt from my own horns. Quickdraw's legs finally gave, forcing him to collapse for the second time in a day. I dash to his side to make sure I haven't killed him. He glares up at me as I approach, throwing a long shadow over him.

"Are ya gonna finish me off?" he rasps.

"No, I'm not going to kill you. If possible, I'd like to be allies." He is silent once again, but I can tell by the look on his face that it's not because he's considering it.

"If you don't kill me, I will hunt you down and kill you. You can rip of all my limbs and tear out my guts, but as long as you don't kill me I will come after you. That's a promise, Cocoon."

There is nothing left for the two of us to say to one another. I turn and walk away from the dour scene for our battle, heading right out of town. Chrysalis comes out of her hiding place to follow me. She buzzes her little wings and flops herself over my right shoulder. We exit the town in silence and head to the place our Appleloosan troubles began.

I look over the initial message I left. It's full of earnest hope and promise, broken only by the frightened scrawling at the bottom. I reach out my hand and exhale, letting a gout of fire leap forth and singe the message into obscurity. After erasing my first message, I circle the rock and begin writing my new message.

If you can read this, you are a human, but you know that. You're in a different form than you used to be in, but you're still human. Your location on a broad scale is a country called Equestria. For those of you who know what that is, I'm sure you're excited. If you don't know what it is, just know talking ponies are the norm in these parts.

If you're looking for a place to lay your head, look no further than the quaint town located at the foot of this hill. It's called Appleloosa and the ponies here are very friendly, provided you are not a changeling. You will not find me in town for a long list of reasons, but I encourage you to visit in order to gather yourself in this new world.

Once you are ready, seek me out. We cannot stay in this world, no matter how fascinating we find it. We have homes to return to and I promise I will return you to yours safely. To find me, just look for changelings. Tell them that you are a human and I promise they will not harm you. They will bring you to me so that we can combine our efforts and get home that much faster.

Of course, there are those of you reading this who don't want to go home. Just know that I will find you and I will bring you back to Earth. There isn't a soul in this world that can save you from me, so don't try and run. I will go to any lengths to capture you, so don't resist. Make this easy on yourself and find me yourself. Any foolish attempts to try and build a home in this world will be snuffed out by me. You've been warned.

Sincerely,

Cocoon, King of the Changelings

I step back and examine my handiwork. I try and put myself in the shoes of someone reading this for themselves, but something tells me I'm biased. I'm afraid that everyone I meet will fight me like Sweet Tea did, I'm afraid that I'll have to apologize to a million Quickdraws, I'm afraid I'll endanger a thousand Braeburns, and I'm just afraid in general.

I wish this would all go away and I would wake up back home. I wish to go home as hard as I can, but I don't even know what to wish on.