“Coming up next: Blank Wars.”
The rest of the students all looked down to choose their cards for this round. However, Sandbar quickly noticed from the expressions on their faces that they were all struggling to find good cards for this prompt. It was almost a full minute before everycreature had chosen their cards and passed them towards him, and even then, it was a bit reluctantly, giving him the feeling that the first card of this round probably wouldn’t be a good one. Once Sandbar had received the five white cards, he quickly shuffled them before drawing the first one and reading it out.
“Coming up next: Paedophiles Wars.”
There wasn’t much laughter from the first card, and the few chuckles that were there were mostly just pity laughter to break the silence.
Ocellus shrugged. “It’s not bad exactly, but the grammar and the way that it’s phrased is a bit off.”
Sandbar simply drew the next white card. “Coming up next: Opinions Wars.” The reaction to the second card was much the same as the first.
“Again, pretty much the same problem,” Smolder noted, taking a bite of one of her snacking gems.
“Coming up next: Fat Wars.” Sandbar again moved on quickly, drawing the next white card. “Coming up next: Content Wars.” That card actually got a few chuckles from him. “That one’s not bad. It kind of sounds like a battle between artists and content creators.” He then drew the final card. “Coming up next: Diversity Wars.”
“And we’re right back to boring ones again,” Smolder said again, vocalising the other’s thoughts.
“Yeah,” Sandbar agreed solemnly. “Anyway, I think I’ll go with ‘Content Wars’. I think that it fit the best. Who had that one?” He asked, holding up the black card for this round.
“That Yona’s card,” The young yak announced, with a proud smile on her face that she won this round. Sandbar then happily passed her the black card.
Gallus suddenly let out a sigh, as a way of getting everycreature’s attention. “Well, I think we can all agree that the first card of this round was a bust. Let’s hope that the next card will be better,” he said, drawing the next black card and reading it out. “Seriously guys, there’s nothing funny about blank.”
The rest of the students all got to selecting their cards for this round, fortunately faster and with more excitement than the last card, which gave them hope that this card prompt would be better than the previous one.
After he had received all five white cards, Gallus gave them a quick shuffle before drawing the first one and reading it out. “Seriously guys, there’s nothing funny about a massive collection of child pornography.”
There was already laughter from the whole group, happy to properly get back into the spirit of the game, and a little bit weird that they were all getting excited for something so crass.
“Yeah, there really isn’t,” Sandbar spoke up, completely serious.
Gallus then drew the next card. “Seriously guys, there’s nothing funny about a full-on panic attack.”
“Again, there really isn’t,” Silverstream was the one to speak up this time.
There was a bit more laughter, though this time it was more for Silverstream’s comment mirroring Sandbar’s previously.
“Seriously guys, there’s nothing funny about stapling a butterfly to a cow.”
“There really isn’t,” Yona spoke up this time, uncharacteristically serious, having gained a new fondness for insects after conquering her fear of spiders recently.
“Seriously guys, there’s nothing funny about a real job with insurance and your taxes taken out and everything.”
“There really isn’t,” Smolder spoke this time. “I mean, that’s part of the reason why we’re at this school in the first place.”
“And finally,” Gallus began, drawing the last white card. “Seriously guys, there’s nothing funny about sexual tension.”
“Yeah, there really isn’t.” It was Ocellus who spoke up this time, giving Gallus a knowing look, with a cocky smile on her face.
Gallus simply rolled his eyes in response, not even bothering to dignify it with a response. “Well, anyway, I’ll go with this card. Who had it?” He asked, holding it up.
That was then immediately followed with Ocellus silently holding her hoof out towards him to give her the black card for her point, not dropping that cocky expression or eye contact with the griffon for a moment. Gallus, however, simply handed her the card, again not responding verbally to her and simply giving her a knowing look between them.
“Yona’s turn!” The yak yelled out, breaking the silence, with an excited smile on her face, drawing the next black card. “Coming to Bridleway this season, Blank: The Musical.”
“This card sounds kind of like the first card for this round,” Smolder noted. “Let’s hope that this one goes better than the first one did.”
There was a round of affirmative nods from the rest of the students, who then quickly got to selecting their cards, and things were already looking good, since there seemed to be more anticipation than the first card of this round, and everycreature had made their decision in less than half that time.
Once everycreature had handed up their card, Yona began reading them out immediately. “Coming to Bridleway this season, My collection of Neighponese Sex Toys: The Musical.”
The laughter was instaneous, and the whole group already had high hopes that this round would indeed be better than the first.
“Coming to Bridleway this season, Javolt the Science Colt: The Musical.” There wasn’t much laughter for that card, and instead it was mostly raised eyebrows. “Who Javolt the Science Colt?” Yona wondered aloud.
“And we turn to reveal…” Smolder drawled sarcastically, sweeping her arm to her left.
To the surprise of no one, it was ‘Encyclopedia Ocellus’ who began explaining. “He’s an eccentric donkey scientist, with his own science show in Manehatten. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually did have his own musical on Bridleway.” There was a collective ‘huh’ from the rest of the group. “You should look into his show sometime; even if you’re not interested in science, he’s still just funny to watch.”
“Ooooooo, maybe the school could have a field trip to Manehatten,” Silverstream chimed in.
“It would be a good oppurtunity to learn from different species,” Sandbar agreed.
Getting back to the game after that little tangent, Yona drew the next white card. “Coming to Bridleway this season, Zebra Children: The Musical.”
Smolder laughed a good bit at that. “I bet one of the songs in that show is the Rhythms of Zebrica.” Though like last time, she seemed to be the only one to find the humour in that card.
“Coming to Bridleway this season, Worshipping that Pussy: The Musical.”
There was once again good old fashioned fall-on-your-back-laughing-from-inappropriate-words-that-were-just-plain-funny-to-hear from everyone.
“And,” Yona began, drawing the last white card. “Coming to Bridleway this season, Flying Sex Snakes: The Musical.”
That card got the most laughter yet from the whole group.
Silverstream snickered into her talon, trying to calm down enough to talk. “Hey, can that be the name of our first band? The Flying Sex Snakes.”
“Then that musical could be our own biopic.” Ocellus added.
“So, does anyone here actually play an instrument?” Smolder asked.
“Well, one of us can play their ass hole like a trumpet,” Yona answered.
Everyone immediately fell over laughing once again. It was over a minute before they had calmed down enough to continue.
“Okay, Yona choose this card,” she said, holding up the Flying Sex Snakes card.
“Right here,” Gallus spoke up, coming out of his laughing fit, raising his claw and then taking the black card for this round as his point.
“Alright, I’m up next,” Smolder said, drawing the next black card. “Best you go back where you came from, now. We don’t take too kindly to blank in these parts.”
Hearing the prompt, Gallus sneered to himself. “I feel like I’ve heard this somewhere before.”
Everycreature then got to selecting their cards for this round. When they were finished, they passed them towards Smolder, who gave them a quick shuffle before reading them out.
“Best you go back where you came from, now. We don’t take too kindly to the magic of live theatre in these parts.”
“Sounds like something you’d hear in Griffonstone,” Gallus commented.
“Now, Gallus, he ain’t hurting nobody,” Silverstream added.
The commentary from the two of them got more laughs than the actual card did.
Moving on, Smolder drew the next card. “Best you go back where you came from, now. We don’t take too kindly to turning poor people against each other so they don’t pay attention to economic inequality in these parts.”
“Again, sounds like Griffonstone.”
“Now, Gallus, he ain’t hurting nobody.”
There was again laughter from the whole group.
“Best you go back where you came from, now. We don’t take too kindly to a seven hour bubble bath in these parts.”
“Definitely sounds like Griffonstone.”
“Now, Gallus, he ain’t hurting nobody.”
Laughter from the whole group.
“Best you go back where you came from, now. We don’t take too kindly to shapeshifters in these parts.”
“Was this card made specifically to be about Griffonstone?”
“Now, Gallus, he ain’t hurting nobody.”
Laughter from the whole group.
“Best you go back where you came from, now. We don’t take too kindly to flightless birds in these parts.”
“Do I even need to say it at this point?”
“Now, Gallus, he ain’t hurting nobody.”
Laughter from the whole group.
Smolder wiped a tear from her eye from all of the laughter. “You know what? Screw it, I’m just giving the point to Gallus this round,” she said, handing the black card to Gallus.
Accepting the card, Gallus smirked coyly. “Let this be a lesson to all of you: never underestimate a griffon in a game where the goal is to be horrible.” He announced to the group.
Silverstream giggled adorably at his antics, while Smolder just rolled her eyes at him. “Alright, Ocellus, you’re next,” the dragoness said, elbowing the changeling next to her slightly.
Without verbally responding and simply nodding her head, Ocellus then used her magic to draw the next black card. “Ain’t it nifty? Barb and Bob hit 50, so get off your ass and raise a glass to 50 years of blank.”
Silverstream giggled at what the card said. “I like it when words rhyme.”
Gallus smiled. “Then maybe we should do it all the time.”
“I don’t think so, we’re not Zecora,” Ocellus added.
“It sound fun; I think we should’a,” Yona joined in with a smile.
“No, offense, Yona, but that rhyme was lame,” Smolder commented on her grammar.
“We’ve all gone now, so let’s get back to the game,” Sandbar finished.
The six students all shared a good-natured laugh following their impromptu rhyming session. Once they were finished, they then all got back to selecting their cards for this round. After everycreature had passed their cards to Ocellus, the changeling magically shuffled them all before drawing the first one. “Ain’t it nifty? Barb and Bob hit 50, so get off your ass and raise a glass to 50 years of half-assed foreplay.”
First card of the round and it got a large amount of laughter from the whole group.
“Change it to ‘foreplay that’s half-assed’ and it fits perfectly,” Gallus noted, which got a round of affirmatives from the rest of the group.
Ocellus then drew the next card. “Ain’t it nifty? Barb and Bob hit 50, so get off your ass and raise a glass to 50 years of 50,000 volts straight to the nipples.”
“Ouch,” Yona said instinctively.
“Ain’t it nifty? Barb and Bob hit 50, so get off your ass and raise a glass to 50 years of passive aggressive post-it notes.”
That card simply got a few chuckles rather than a lot of laughter.
“Ain’t it nifty? Barb and Bob hit 50, so get off your ass and raise a glass to 50 years of feeling the emotion of anger.” That card didn’t get much laughter, so Ocellus moved on quickly. “Ain’t it nifty? Barb and Bob hit 50, so get off your ass and raise a glass to 50 years of being marginalized.”
The last card got the least amount of laughter, so the group had calmed down by then. “I’ll go with half-assed foreplay.”
“That’s me,” Silverstream anounced happily, reaching to her right to take the black card for her point. She then immediately reached in the opposite direction and drew another black card to read aloud as the Card Princess. “What’s there a ton of in Elysium?”
Smolder suddenly raised an eyebrow. “What’s Elysium?”
“Elysium is the pony afterlife,” Sandbar answered. Looking across their assembled circle, Ocellus looked like she was just moments away from answering herself.
“Oh,” Smolder realised. Her expression then quickly morphed into a cocky smirk. “Well then in that case, this should be a good round… hopefully?” She added, hoping that she hadn’t just jinxed things, like she may have with the first card of the round.
The group then got to choosing their cards, which they again did rather quickly, and passed them towards Silverstream, who gave them a quick shuffle before reading them out.
“What’s there a ton of in Elysium? A whole thing of butter.” Unlike for the first card of the round, the strange grammar in the card worked to its advantage, earning a round of laughter from everyone.
“What’s there a ton of in Elysium? Hope.” There wasn’t really any laughter, so she moved on quickly.
“What’s there a ton of in Elysium? Me time.”
“What’s there a ton of in Elysium? Fading away into nothingness.”
“That’s a dark way to view death,” Ocellus cringed.
“And,” Silverstream began. “What’s there a ton of in Elysium? Déja Vu.”
“Well probably,” Smolder began. “I mean, eternity is a long time. Odds are good that even in heaven, you’re eventually gonna run out of things to do.”
Ocellus turned to face the dragoness. “That’s surprisingly deep for you.” Smolder simply shrugged her shoulders casually in response.
“Well, I think I’ll go with Déjà Vu,” Silverstream spoke up again.
“That’s me,” Ocellus answered, turning back the other way towards her hippogriff friend, taking the black card as her point.
“Well, that’s another round finished,” Sandbar spoke up, addressing the room. “So, should we keep going or does anycreature want to take a quick break?”
“Let’s take one more break for the bathroom and to stock up on snacks,” Smolder answered. “We’re in the endgame now.”