My Little Naruto: Friendship is--WHERE AM I!?

by DragonLS

CH25: One Plus One Equals Possibilities (Revised)

Special Thanks:

Editors: DaMobbs

“What the hell Pinkie!”, shouted a shocked Naruto. “Is ‘Personal Space’ non-existent in this blasted excuse for a town or do you just not care!?”

Pinkie stifled her laughter, successfully toning it down to a tiny giggle.“Well…”

“That was rhetorical,” he said with a frustrated sigh. ”What exactly do you want Pink- wait a second, what did you mean by ‘enjoyed last night’!?”

“Calm down Mr. Grumpy Pants and let me explainnnnn!” Pinkie said nonchalantly, blissfully ignorant of the current situation. She took a deep breath and exhaled, looking at Naruto with a smile.

“Well…” She began, “I saw you going home last night while I was doing some late night shopping in Ponyville and I’ve been looking for you all day yesterday because I need something done that just can’t wait and then Gummy went all bitey bitey on my mane and I discovered the secrets of the uni-”

“That doesn’t explain why you barged into my house and slept in MY bed!”, interrupted Naruto, a headache already starting to form from Pinkie’s mindless babble.

“Settle down Whiskers! I’m getting to that part,” she cheerfully admonished. “ANYway, by the time I found out where you lived you were already asleep seeing as all the lights were off and how you didn’t answer any of my knocks on the door or my knock knock jokes for that matter but when I turned the knob on your door, it was unlocked!”, she paused, taking a deep breath to recover from her long winded explanation.

“Note to self: Make sure my door is locked from now on.” Naruto noted.

“So I invited myself in like so,” She pantomimed opening a door, shaking her own hoof, and then bouncing in.”Oh, I don’t want to be rude, but your house is a big mess! It looks all dreary and droopy and woopy. I like the floors though—“

“I know my house is a mess, get to the point!”

“Sheesh, impatient much Whiskers?”

“Don’t call me Whiskers…”, muttered Naruto.

“Why not Whiskers?”, replied the giddy pony.

“Because it’s… ugh, just get on with it!”

“Ooookay then Captain Whiskers!” Pinkie said with glee. He didn’t know why the term ‘whiskers’ bothered him. Maybe it was with the different names he’d acquired since setting up shop? Foal, Filly, Whiskers… was everyone out to tease him?

“So anyway, when I found you so I could ask what I needed, you were asleep! I was going to wake you up, but…” She trailed off, glancing at the bed and then back. “Looking at the bed made me sleepy… so I joined in with you!”

Her explanation seemed like a childish reason just to frazzle Naruto. It didn’t help that he couldn’t tell if she was serious or joking. The fact remained that she came in through the unlocked front door. What if some murderer came in while he was sleeping? Naruto berated himself. It was a stupid mistake that would have cost him dearly if the right pony came by at the right time. At least Pinkie Pie was the wrong pony.

“If it was Blackie…”, he muttered deep in thought.

“Soooo Naruto!”, chimed Pinkie, ”Can you hear me out?”

“Still doesn’t explain why you asked if I ‘enjoyed last night.’ What the hell did you do to me!?”

“No need to get all angry and curse silly pants! I wanted to surprise you this morning!”

“Surprise me?”, asked Naruto curiously.

“Yeah! One time I read about it in a magazine that Rarity had at her shop when she was fixing my gala dress. It had this REALLY funny scene where two ponies were in bed, and this one pony said those exact same lines, and then they broke out laughing… although, you didn’t act like the stallion did in the magazine… You’re a bad actor Naruto!” She said with a giggle.

‘So Rarity keeps those kinds of magazines for her customers then...’, thought Naruto. Admittedly, he had read similar magazines at the shops back in Konoha so he knew what they entailed. Apparently, Pinkie didn’t. Either she was a very shrewd pony who knew exactly how to make other ponies uncomfortable or she was just that innocent and naive.

His bits were on the latter.

He sighed and shook his head in relief. “I see… So it’s all just a big misunderstanding then, whew…”

“What’s a misunderstanding?”, questioned the pink menace.

“Er, nothing… But please Pinkie, don’t barge into my house again and sleep with me. Everypony will get the wrong idea…”

“What wrong idea?”

“You know what, just come to the living room.” He said, frustrated at Pinkie’s level of naivety.

“Sorry if the inside looks really drab,” explained Naruto, gesturing at the rather roomy living room, ”I’m still trying to outfit the house with furniture.”

“Oh it’s okay Naruto! I mean your house looks pretty ugly, but I’m sure with some elbow grease it’ll be fixed up in no time at all! Dragon will get around to it eventually!”

Naruto paused. “Wait, who?“

“I said you’d get around to it eventually.”

“Ah, yeah I hope so.” He plopped down onto his sofa, soon followed by Pinkie who cannon-balled onto her side. “So, what’s so important that you couldn’t come when I was awake?”

“Ooh! Right! Well…” She reached into her mane, pulled out a scroll, and tossed it over to Naruto. He unrolled it to find a picture of a red mushroom covered in white dots. He looked at Pinkie hoping for an explanation.

“And this would be?”

“It’s something Twilight showed me a week or so ago: A Party Mushroom!”

“You can’t be serious…”, he deadpanned.

“I’m very serious! I hear that if you make fruit punch out of a mushroom like this, the party will be a major success no matter what happens! I want this mushroom!”

“From a store?”

“No you silly whiskers you,” she said, bopping him on the snout playfully, “in the Everfree Forest!”

Naruto’s eyes shot open. “You can’t be serious!? The Everfree Forest is dangerous even for me! The last time I went in there, I almost died even though I had weapons to defend myself. ”

“Psh… not during the daytime silly! Besides, I’m not asking you to fight; just to pick a particular mushroom, that’s all!”

“Still… going into the forest… I don’t know…”

Saying that Naruto wasn’t skeptical was like saying that Pinkie Pie hated laughing. He already knew what to expect when he set foot in that forest. Creatures of all shapes and sizes roamed through there looking for their next meal, be it pony or something else. The question was WHAT he’d come across first.

“C’mon… I’ll make it worth your whiiiiile.”, nudged Pinkie.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m not letting you do this without some kind of payment of course!”

Naruto sighed. “Alright, what’s the pay then?”

“A strawberry cake!”

“Please tell me you’re not serious.” He looked her straight in the eye and found nothing hinting at deception or humor. “You are serious aren’t you...”

“Ooh, tough customer… okay fine, two strawberry cakes and that’s as high as I’m going buster!”

“You’re going to pay me with cake?”

“Well duh! I’m a baker. It’s what I’m good at! Plus, I know that you know that I know that you love what I bake, don’t you?”

‘Blasted pony, she’s right’, he thought in dismay. She had a point. He loved the things she baked at that shop. He glanced back and forth between the picture and Pinkie Pie. If the forest wasn’t as dangerous during the day, he might be able to grab the mushroom and book it before anything really big notices he was there. That and he’s good at running away if things get sticky…

He sighed again as he leaned back on the couch. “How’d you find out about this mushroom anyway?”

“Twilight’s Library. She showed me. Ooh, that reminds me! I asked her to get this particular mushroom a while ago, but when she brought it back, it was all bruised and broken, like someone stomped on it. I was soooo sad when it turned out like that!”

“I see… Figures it would be Twilight…”, mumbled Naruto.

After agreeing to take the job, Naruto sent her on her way. He had a lot on his mind even before this impromptu job. He was beginning to make some headway on furniture but a single couch wasn’t really anything to brag about. Not only that, the house still needed repairs and that required bits. Bits that he was seriously lacking.

He was almost broke now, the majority of he bits going towards that couch. Pretty soon, he wouldn’t be able to buy any food. At least Pinkie’s job was rewarding him with two of her delicious cakes.

“Two strawberry cakes huh… I guess that isn’t too bad, although I still prefer money…” It was too late to change his mind now, but he just shrugged. There were still a couple of items he needed to take care of; Primarily, the request from the Octavia. He picked up the letter he left out on the couch last night and strode out the front door, making sure to lock it this time.

Since he didn’t have any proper paper supplies or quills, he went straight to the Post Office. Straight being the key word, as he still had no clue where some key buildings in town was. After asking numerous ponies for directions, he found himself in front of the Ponyville Post Office. It consisted of a white cube-like building with a wooden sign near the front door, which was labelled ‘Ponyville Post Office’. It had a couple windows on the front; one on each opposite side of the door. It looked to be a pretty normal building to him, without any of the fancy pizzazz the other places had, like Sugarcube Corner or the Boutique.

 He stepped into the lobby and was assaulted with the smell of paper and used adhesive. It wasn’t crowded inside. A few ponies were in line waiting for the next available assistant and other than that, it was empty. To his immediate right was a counter stocked with paper, ink, and quills. Assuming it was a place to write letters, he grabbed a sheet of paper and began to write down a quick reply to Octavia. As he wrote it out, he realized he didn’t even know what today’s date was but with a quick inquiry with a nearby pony, found out that it was a Thursday. He made sure to declare that he was open on Sunday so they could stop by anytime then.

After writing the necessary address and return address, he sent it off through one of the nearby mail slots. He gave a small sigh, giving himself a small pat on the back for a job well done. Now he needed to get Pinkie’s request out of the way.

As soon as he exited the Post Office, he realized something of grave importance that he had completely forgotten about.

“Aw nuts… Applejack.” He had a job to do at Applejack’s farm but he already agreed to do Pinkie’s request. What was he going to do? No normal pony could be in two places at the same time...

…and he wasn’t no ‘normal’ pony. He had his Shadow Clone Jutsu at his disposal. What if he could do both at the same time; work on Applejack’s farm AND find Pinkie’s mushroom? It was a long shot, but… it was possible.

‘But wait… can my clone even handle that much time on its own? Hmm… wouldn’t hurt to experiment, I guess? But if this works…’, Naruto thought seriously. Naruto listed some of the possibilities: One, he’ll have more time on his hands, and two, he can handle multiple jobs at once as long as the clones aren’t dispelled. But seeing as how he only had one to use…

“Worth a shot, I suppose!”

He went into a nearby alleyway, making sure he was concealed from anypony's prying eyes. Crossing his tails over one another, he channeled the necessary chakra and pulled off the technique. A small explosion of smoke let him know that he was successful and as it cleared, a second Naruto was standing there.

“Alright clone, here’s your mission: Go to Applejack’s and help out with the farm until it’s time for you to be dismissed. And make sure you do NOT get hit by any falling apples! Understood?”

The clone grinned and gave a salute. “You got it boss!”

After that, the clone took off, jumping from rooftop to rooftop to its’ destination. He gave a small sigh as he looked down the alleyway and back up at the sky.

“This is going to be one hell of a day…”

It didn’t take long to get to the Everfree Forest, and it certainly didn’t look all that dangerous during the day, but if one thing was for certain, it was that you shouldn’t judge a book by its’ cover. He began his trek on the beaten path that wove through the forest. He took the parchment out from his jacket pocket and looked at it.

“A red mushroom with white dots on it… it can’t be too hard in this forest, can it?”

As he walked through the forest, he gave a small sigh. Not too much had changed since his last time in the forest except that it was a lot brighter allowing him to see much further than before.

“Lessee, according to the picture and description, it seems the mushroom grows beneath the shade of trees… but there’s so many trees around here it’s going to be hard to find… why did I take this job…? I should have switched places with my clone… Working on a farm must be a cakewalk compared to this…”

A few minutes passed as he searched around the trunks of each tree he ran into, and while he did mushrooms, they weren’t the one he was looking for. He gave a small sigh.

“I wonder if some of these mushrooms are edible…” A familiar gurgle emanated from his stomach. He gave another sigh. “Damn, I skipped breakfast… I wonder if there are any fruits around here.”

He looked up at the canopy, hoping to find a fruit bearing tree, to only find massive branches and leaves crisscrossing. But that’s when he heard something. A tranquil, yet peaceful sound that mysteriously made him want to use the bathroom.

“Running water?”

After exploring the source of the sound a little further, he discovered a stream cutting its way through the forest. Naruto gave an ‘ooh’, fascinated by his discovery. The water was crystal clear, and the smooth running water sound helped Naruto relax, but that’s not all what amazed Naruto.

Upon closer inspection, he could see small fish swimming about downstream. He went wide-eyed with his mouth agape.

“Fish… meat… Fish… FISH!”

He was so overjoyed that he dove head first into the small stream-

*BONK*

-to find that it wasn’t more than knee deep. Naruto grumbled in the river, bubbles floating up due to his grumbling. ‘Next time’, he thought, ’I look before I leap’

After extricating himself from that compromising position, he set out to catch as many fish as he possibly could. They were silver in color and covered completely in scales just as a fish should. The caught fish flopped around on the rocks of the river as he tapped his chin with his hoof.

“Right, I need a fire…”

After gathering a few branches here and there, he proceeded to start a small campfire with his own tails, rubbing two sticks together to get a fire going. He brought the fire up until it was hot enough to cook food, adding wood every now and then to keep the fire going strong. As he pierced each fish with a sharpened stick, he stuck each one around its’ perimeter, the fish hovering over the flame pit.

In the meantime, he decided to check his surroundings for any of the red mushrooms he was searching for. There was one tree that caught his eye… He could see a patch of red at the base of an old, gnarly oak tree across the stream. With a quick hop over the stream, he made his way over, keeping an eye out for the mushroom. However, there was only plain red mushrooms surrounding the tree. He slumped over in sadness, until something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Buried amongst the plethora of red mushrooms, was one covered in white spots. He plucked it from the ground to examine it. It was a bit dirty, but it was indeed a red cap mushroom with white spots. Satisfied, he placed it inside his jacket pocket, knowing that his job here was done.

He went back towards the campfire to see if his fish were ready. The smell was already making him drool and the sight was what did it. The fish were a golden brown color, the dancing flames licking each fish in tandem. Sitting down next to it, he quickly grabbed a stick. He waved it around for a few seconds until biting into the juicy fishy flesh.

“OW! HOT HOT HOT!” He burned his mouth and he swallowed the fish in his mouth immediately. His throat burned as it went down, but it was so worth it. “Ohhhh… Man, it tastes like… heaven…”

After waiting for the fish to cool for a few minutes, he tried again. This time he chewed the fish slowly, sampling its’ delectable flavor in his mouth. He almost fell unconscious from the sheer bliss. He missed this taste.

After some time had passed and he got to his second fish, he noticed something rolling towards him. With his mouth stuffed with fish, he looked at the rolling object more closely to reveal it to be a bottle. After polishing off his last fish, he picked up the bottle and examined it much more closely.

It was a brown bottle labeled ‘Apple Cider’ along with a picture of an apple on the front. It was empty too, and he brought the top of the bottle to his nose and took a whiff. He jerked away from it as he gagged.

“Urgh… this smells like alcohol…!”

He knew that smell anywhere, and it didn’t make him happy. ‘So there’s alcohol in this world too, huh… Doesn’t smell as strong though… maybe it’s a weaker type of alcohol? What is cider anyway?’

That’s when he noticed something else… looking in the direction where he found the bottle, he could see a couple more. He raised a brow at the spectacle, and investigated. Something brought these bottles out here. He picked up a couple more bottles just like it, wondering who brought them out here.

‘Odd… why is there cider bottles all the way out here in the forest? Unless there’s some cider shop around here, I don’t see how there would be any here… maybe some of the folks come out here and... nevermind. Images I can’t unsee...’

As possibilities flew through his mind, he heard a rustle inside some bushes where the trail of bottles seemed to end. He looked at the bottle he was still holding, and smashed the bottom on the ground, shattering its’ body. He held up the sharp neck as a makeshift shiv, prepared for the worst.

“Who’s there?” Naruto shouted towards the bush. He got closer to the bush as he held his broken bottle out in front of him. He wanted something between him and bush until he knew its’ intentions.

It could have been another wolf, or maybe a smaller Manticore. Anything was possible in this forest. But instead… it was neither a hostile creature or any of the above… in fact, a blue pony appeared out of the bushes, dirty and wobbly with silver hair—

“Wait… that’s… It can’t be… Trixie!?” He said out loud in surprise. Out of all the odds, it had to be Trixie. She had a rather big frown on her face and she paid no mind to Naruto standing in front of her. He tilted his head in confusion.

“B-blasted p-poniesh and their shtupid… shtupid… shtupidness!” She slurred as she took a swig from an apple cider bottle, which Naruto recognized.

“So that’s where the bottles came from… but the sound of her voice… is she drunk…?” It was amusing to see Trixie in a drunken stupor, but he was confused on why she was drunk in the first place.

“Or better yet… why is she even in the forest? Doesn’t she know how dangerous it is?”

She stumbled about as she chugged down the contents of the bottle. Her vision was blurry, and she could make out a figure in front of her. She hiccupped as she tried to focus on the figure before her.

“You… you’re that blonde pony…” She said with a drunken gasp… or at least, attempted to. She burst out laughing into the sky, earning a scowl from Naruto.

“Ah hah… T-trixie ish—I—am sheeing things… There’s no w-way a… eh heh, ahahahah, a pony such as *hic* yourself could be in… these woodsh…”

“I am in these woods, and you’re right in front of me. As much as I’d enjoy catching up with you, what in the world are you doing way out here?

“Ah heh… great, my… my imagination ish talking to me… that’s… a laugh.” Trixie said, all wobbly and tripping over her own hooves, as she walked closer to Naruto. From this close, he could see her flushed skin even through her blue fur coat. Judging from all the bottles as well, she was completely and totally hammered. She brought up a hoof and smacked him across the face. Naruto flinched as he backed off, rubbing his cheek. She didn’t smack it that hard, but he wasn’t expecting that.

“Wha… you’re one sholid illusion… T-tell me b-blondie… where did you come from… Illushionville?” She said with a drunk laugh. “You… You did thish to me, you know… the whole… the whole shomething… oh right…” She pointed her hoof in a random direction, “You ruined my… ruined my…”

She stopped talking and fell onto her side, snoring already permeating through the silence of the forest. Naruto couldn’t help but scratch his head.

“Great… a show pony that’s in the forest, drunk and passed out… Never a boring day, right?”

He walked over to Trixie and examined her more closely. She was thankfully still breathing and her magician’s attire was no where to be found. Dirt covered her body, her coat mangy and unkempt. Her silver mane had patches of black all over, probably just clumps of dirt. He looked over at the bottles again and then back at her, and started to think.

“Why would she be drunk in the forest? Surely that experience wasn’t THAT bad, was it?” He thought to himself, and rolled his eyes. “Then again, Snips and Snails DID ruin her reputation… or whatever reputation she thought she had. It still doesn’t explain why she’s in the forest though… Oh, why should I care. I’m getting out of here…”

*WHAM*

Trixie’s right hoof shot up into the air connecting with Naruto’s jaw on the way up, rattling his noggin withe the impact. He recoiled back as he yelped in pain.

“THAT… sssshould teach yous to… to…” She fell back down again with a snore. He rubbed his chin with a growl. He didn’t want to deal with this kind of nonsense anymore.

He decided to just walk in the opposite direction of Trixie. He got what he came here for and there was no longer any reason to stay in this forest any longer. He really shouldn’t care either way, but… He looked back at her, seeing her all defenseless and asleep. He looked up at the sky.

“Even if I’m to show sympathy for her… what am I supposed to do? Take her back to town? A lot of ponies are going to be angry if I do that, but…” He looked back at Trixie. “What’s the right thing to do?

He was conflicted but fate decided to lend a help hand, if you could call it that. A couple of beastly growls resonated from the bushes Trixie came out of. Naruto kept his guard up as the sources of the noise stepped out into the small clearing, teeth bared.

“Three wolves… Oh crud…” Naruto took a step back from the wolves, but a snore reminded him that Trixie was still here and completely defenseless. In the darker side of his mind, he could leave Trixie here and let the wolves feed on her while he escaped. He squashed that thought as soon as it came up. Nopony was going to die when he could do something about it. Even if it was Trixie.

The decision was obvious.

He stepped forward towards the wolves and cracked his neck left and right, with a grin on his face.

“Looks like I’ll be howling on wolf meat tonight!”