Late at night in the town of Ponyville inside of the school of friendship Twilight sat behind her desk with a mountain of paperwork in front of her. Normally the mare would dive into even the most intimidating peaks of paperwork eager to fulfill her duties as the Princess of Friendship and the headmare of the school. However today the stacks sat untouched and the Princess sat with a sullen expression nursing a cup of the Apple family's hardest cider hoping the alcohol would numb some of her pain. However halfway through the cup she realized she was just heading to a drunken stupor that certainly wouldn’t help her solve any of her problems. With her mind only slightly buzzed from the drank she realized she had only one option to solve this problem but she’d need to be at least somewhat sober. So she sat the cider cup down and lit her horn as her inkwell, quill and some paper floated over to her. Dipping the quill in the ink she sighed a bit embarrassed to have to do this but she needed a solution and cider wasn’t helping her find one. With a sigh she touched the blackened quill to the paper and wrote the familiar words she had written, or had Spike to write to be more accurately, so many times before she earned her wings.
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Dear Princess Celestia
It’s been awhile since I wrote you a letter quite like this. Sure we keep in touch but I don’t think I’ve wrote a letter so desperate for your help since before I became a alicorn. I’ve been trying to find a solution for this since it happened but I just can’t find one on my own so I’m hoping you can help. Right now I need you as my mentor once again.
Ever since Cozy Glow took over the school and tried to conquer Equestria with friendship, I can’t help but feel I failed my students and all of Equestria. My friends have told me it’s not my fault, that we all fell for her innocent little filly act but I can’t forgive myself till I know this won’t happen again. That even if I’m called away with a emergency the school will be left in good hooves. Which it is with Starlight but I feel that this proves that, just as I can’t run this school without her help, she can’t run it on her own either. I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my back that even with my friend’s help, I can’t do it much longer.
I hope you can provide the wisdom I need so desperately right now.
Sincerely Your Friend
Twilight Sparkle
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With the letter written she rolled it up and tied it with a ribbon before getting up and walking over to Spike’s room. Upon entering she saw the young dragon fast asleep. The sight of her oldest friend and basically little brother sleeping so soundly brought a smile to her face despite her dower mood. Not wanting wake him but still needing to send the letter she plucked a feather from her wing and brought it down to Spike’s nose tickling him till he sneezed engulfing the letter in green flame. With the letter sent, Twilight headed to her room assuming Celestia would reply in the morning as she passed her office she looked inside noticing the cider.
“Well, I’d hate to waste perfectly good cider.” With her mind at ease knowing in the morning Celestia at least put her on the path to a answer she sat down to polish off her cider.
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Starlight Glimmer walked into her counselor office sipping her coffee as she tried to wake up despite the early hour. She had been more busy then normal as many students wanted to talk to her after Cozy Glows betrayal. As she went to sit down she winced as a sharp pain shot through her back, she was still sore from spending hours trapped by Cozy. As she was finishing her coffee a knock came from her door seeing as school had yet to start she knew who it most likely was.
“Come on in”. She said as she signed her name on a form. Sure enough a small dragon came waddling through with papers stacked taller then he was .
“Hey Starlight I got even more papers for you.” Spike said as he almost dropped them multiple times as he attempted to cross the room.
Starlight horn glowed as the papers levitated out of his claws and onto her desk. “Thanks Spike, hey have you seen Twilight I was going to ask if she wanted to go to the spa. I need to get this creak out of my back.”
Spike shook his head “Not since I went to sleep last night. She seemed kinda upset. I think a nice spa trip would do her well”.
Starlight nodded “I’ll she if she’s in her office and ask her.”
Spike gave her a thumbs up as he walked out the room. Right before he made to the door he belched green flames. He reached out to catch the falling letter he knew would be there.
Starlight took the opportunity to stand without Spike seeing her wince “That for Twilight, if so I’ll take it to her.”
Spike took one quick glance at the letter before handing it over. “Yeah, it’s from Princess Celestia. Thanks by the way.”
“Your welcome” She replied as he walked through the door alongside him before the two spit heading off in different directions.
As Starlight came to the door to Twilight’s room she knocked after a few minutes of silence she knocked again, and a third time with still no reply. Starlight began to worry, Twilight was almost always in her office at this time going over lesson plans or balancing the school’s budget. Starlight cast a quick spell that would detect any living thing in the room. Sure enough she detected somepony sitting at the desk. With growing concern for her friend Starlight charged up a magical blast before firing it at the door blasting it clean off the hinges, and charged inside the office.
“Twilight, are you ok!” She yelled to her friend before pausing at the sight before her. Twilight sat at her desk fast asleep. This, while rare, was not unheard of. Twilight had worked till she has passed out at her desk before but as Starlight looked around the scene in front of her it became clear that wasn't the case here. The papers the young alicorn meticulously organized were scattered about. The curtains were hanging by only one side and multiple chairs were turned over. The bookshelf was bare it’s contents were instead laid out into a makeshift stage with a curtain rod sticking up at a angle. Tankards laid scattered about the, a few with a couple of drops of cider in them, others had their contents spilled out on staining the rug. And at the desk sat the regal princess of friendship drool leaking out of her mouth undoubtedly ruining the paper under her head. She was wearing lace lingerie made by Rarity judging by the craftsmanship and socks that went up to her thighs. Of course no royalty would be complete without their crown however Twilight seemed to be under the opinion that in a pinch a lampshade would work just as well as it hung awkwardly off her horn.
Starlight burst out laughing before teleporting a camera to her and taking a picture of Twilight. Teleporting the camera along with a new picture for her friendship scrapbook she began thinking how best to wake up the sleeping alicorn. The nice thing to do would be to gently ease the purple pony from her dreams, that would also be the boring thing to do so instead Starlight levitated a copy of the ‘Equestrian Guide to Magical Terminology Vol IV’ grabbed it in her hooves and slammed it down hard on the desk less than a foot from Twilight left ear.
The alicorn shot up tilting her chair backwards in the process “The thirtieth sub magical element of friendship is trust!” she said before falling backwards in her chair.
Starlight broke out laughing “HAHHA-OH TARTRUS HUHUH-MAHAHAHAHA- ughck oh sorry I started cackling like a villain again. So you want to tell me what the hay happened here of great Princess of Lampland”. Starlight said pointing to Twilight’s head.
Twilight took a moment to realize what her friend was pointing at before swatting the lampshade off her head. She looked around at her office only now seeing the devastation caused by her antics last night. Her eyes widen as she surveyed the damage. “Ugh I had way to much cider”.
Starlight nodded in agreement walking over to the makeshift book stage and poking the curtain rod wedged in the center. “I’ll say. Is this what I think it is?”
Twilight examined it from her upside down position on the floor before she blushed “No, nope definitely not what you think it is.”
Starlight looked down and saw a opened book she picked it up and read the title “‘Pole dancing for dummies’ Oh my Celestia it is. You made a stripper pole out of books and a curtain rod. You got so drunk you strip danced you even put on lingerie to dance in. Sweet Celestia’s horseshoes that's too funny.”
Twilight only groaned at the teasing her head throbbed and Celestia must have been punishing her as the sun seemed particularly bright and seemed to be concentrated right into her eyes. “Did you come here just to make fun of me?”
Starlight looked over at her teacher and friend “Oh no I couldn’t have imagined this in my most Luna blessed dreams. I wanted to talk to you befo-” Starlight stopped talking as she saw Twilight shoot up and run down the hall to the little mare’s room Starlight followed slowly behind her as she got closer she knocked on the door. “Do you want me to hold your mane back?”
A groan followed by a pained “Yes”.
Starlight enter finding the mighty Princess of Friendship, Bearer of the Element of Magic and the Savior of Equestria, bowing in submission the Great Throne of the Porcelain Empire. Defeated the Princess had her hooves clutching the rim.
Starlight grabbed the princess’ mane in her hooves and rubbed circles on her back just in time as Twilight turned green before letting it all out. After a few minutes of spilling her guts to the Royalty of the Restroom. Starlight teleported her friend a toothbrush, toothpaste and some mouthwash as she lead her over to the sink.
“Anyway as I was saying before you started hurling. I was wondering if you wanted to go to the spa. I desperately need one of Aloe’s massages.”
Twilight groaned but nodded as she desperately tried to remove the taste of her own vomit from her mouth.
“Ok right after school good I’d like to get my spine realigned as soon as ponyly possible.”
Twilight still scrubbing her tongue used her horn to levitate some water out of the sink forming it in the air into a ‘4’ and a ‘?’.
Starlight nodded “Yeah four’s good also Spike got a letter from Princess Celestia and I told him I’d hoof it over to you.”
Twilight nodded taking the letter in her magical grasp as she also opened the mouthwash and started gurgling after a bit she spat. “Thanks I was hoping it would arrive before school started.”
“Maybe we should have called it off today. Give us a little more time to deal with the aftermath of Cozy Glow.” Starlight said teleporting the dental hygiene products back to where they came from.
“I seriously thought about it but I think it’s best we try to keep a sense of normalcy in our student’s routines. Anyway thanks for dropping this off and dealing with the effects of… well whatever I got up to last night. I’m gonna head down to the cafeteria for some breakfast and coffee. You want to come with me?” Twilight asked.
Starlight shook her head “No I ate before I came in today.” the two mare walked out of the staff restroom Starlight waited for Twilight to get a bit down the hall towards the cafeteria before calling out to her with a smirk on her face. “You gonna go dressed like that?”
Twilight still wearing lingerie turned and galloped back to her office as she sped by Starlight in a blur of fur and lace. “I hate you sometimes” Twilight said face red as Big Mac.
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Twilight stood in the lunch line behind her students now dressed more appropriately wearing nothing but the fur she was born in like a respectable mare not the clothes wearing slut she was last night. Not that there’s anything wrong with clothes, she’d never insult Rarity’s profession, but some clothes said ‘I’m a classy pony’ while what she was wearing said ‘Forty bits for a blowjob’.
Her head still throbbed and she was tempted cut but when she was a filly teachers did that to her and she hated it. So she stood patent as the line inched forwards trying not to show that the excited conversations of children felt as if her horn was being hammered into her skull.
She couldn’t help over hear some even as she tried not to listen both out of respect for privacy and for the sake of her head but try as she might she heard them. All they did was bring her mood down.
“I can’t believe Cozy Glow was evil and headmare Twilight didn’t even notice.”
“I heard she was in contact with Tirek. What was she sending letters addressed to Tartarus how didn’t anyone notice. Twilight really screwed up huh?”
“What was Twilight thinking leaving the school to Starlight Glimmer I mean we got lucky Cozy didn’t kill her right way.”
“Princess Twilight sure seems to be taking after Princess Celestia, having her students save the day instead of just doing it herself. What? You know it’s true.”
“What’ll it be Princess?”
“Huh?” Twilight looked up to see the lunch pony waiting expectantly to serve her meal. “Oh I’m sorry i was distracted. I’ll have the haycon and eggs please.” the food was placed on her tray and she walked off grabbing some coffee from the pot as she left the serving line and headed for her office. Casting a spell of cleaning as she walked through the door. The objects on the floor floated to there designated places. The curtains were straighten and stains lifted from the rug of their own accord. Her chair was flipped back up and pushed out just time for her to sit down. She began eating as she unfolded Celestia’s letter that was tucked behind her wings
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Dear Princess Twilight
I am so sorry that this situation has affected you so profoundly. I know you and your friends have been called on to save Equestria many times before but Cozy Glow was indeed different. You blame yourself for failing to see the darkness clouding her heart. I learnt that feeling when I failed to notice my own sister’s descent into Nightmare Moon. Also she used the very things you taught her to harm others. That was a pain I felt when I learnt of Sunset Shimmer’s actions beyond the mirror. Thanks to your actions I now have those two ponies, or person in Sunset’s case, back in my life.
Still lamenting about past mistakes will accomplish nothing we must move on and come up with a solution. I believe I have a proposal that may help you know that your school, your castle and indeed the town and, more importantly the citizens, of Ponyville are safe in your absences. I was going to discuss this with you next time you came to Canterlot however I see it can not wait.
I was going to propose that I send a detachment of the Royal Guard to help defend Ponyville. They could help defend the town if you are unavailable and while they may be unable to defeat more serious threats they could at least buy you some time to end the threat yourself.
When I received received your letter I was stuck with a slightly different ideal. Instead of a detachment of my guards be sent to Ponyville, I think it’s importance as the home of your school and castle, warrants the formation of a new branch of guards be founded to protect Ponyville and serve you.
I know you would be hesitant to put other ponies in danger but know this. As a Princess you can only do so much. The wisest of leaders know that they can achieve much more by finding the right ponies for a job and providing them with the resources they need to succeed then attempting to do everything themselves.
Please know that this is merely my personal opinion and if you wish to find a different path I understand but should you chose to take my advice I want you to take the task on and form the guard as you see fit. You have my full support, choose a captain to lead, select which tasks should be their top priorities and you forge a place for them in Equestrian society. I leave this up to you my dear friend and I trust your judgement whatever you decide but I will be here if you need any help and of course your brother knows plenty about leading guards and I'm sure he’ll be more than happy to help him.
I hope this has eased your mind my dear.
Sincerely Your Friend
Princess Celestia
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Twilight contemplated the letter throughout the as she filled out paper she weighed the pros and cons. As she taught her class she contemplated the logistics of such a thing. As she used the little fillies room she envisioned the effects of having their own guard would have on Ponyville. She asked all her friends thought out the day.
“What do you think about forming our own guard here in Ponyville?”
“Why I reckon that be plum smart sugarcube” Applejack said in the hallway.
“Should I form a royal guard for Ponyville?”
“Hell yeah, that would make this town way cooler like about twenty-three percent cooler, but still not as cool as me.” Said Rainbow after being woken from a nap in the breakroom.
“Would a Ponyville guard be a good ideal.”
“More ponies mean more parties so definitely.” Pinkie said before blasting the mare with her party cannon.
“Royal guard here? Yay or neigh?”
“Umm… yay I guess? Um Twilight can we maybe not talk while I’m using the restroom? And can you quit looking over the stall? Please?” Fluttershy said while trying to take care of… personal business.
“Friendship Guard. What do you think?”
“Darling are you asking me if we should have a bunch of big, strong, handsome stallions in gleaming armor walking around town, the answer is most definitely yes.” Rarity stated while sketching a new dress design.
“Do I need guards to protect the castle?”
“Well considering I walked right in the front door, ate the cake you had in the fridge, read your diary and pretty much just chilled on your throne for almost three and a half hours before I used Starswirl’s Time Spell to try and get revenge against you. Yeah it might be a good ideal.” Starlight said as Twilight came charging through her door.
As the day went on Twilight had made up her mind this was the right choice. Ponyville needed dedicated protectors. She needed somepony she could rely on help carry the burdens of being a princess. Somepony she could count on to stand side by side with her even if they faced the apocalypse. She needed to know that even if the rest of the world was falling apart Ponyville was as safe as the situation allowed.
She walked into her office and sat down writing a letter to the one pony she knew could handle all the challenges of this job. Somepony that could oversee first the establishment and later day to day operation of the new Ponyville guard. Twilight wrote her letter put it in a envelope and signed her name on it. Then teleported to the Ponyville post office, this letter would have to be sent the old fashioned way.
“Hello Derpy I need a stamp to send this letter.” Twilight pushed the letter across the counter to the wall eyed mare.
Derpy looked at the letter “You signed it ‘Princess Twilight Sparkle’. You never do that, is it official Princess business?”
“Yes, I guess it is.”
Derpy smiled at the mare “Than under article fifteen section five, paragraph eight of the Equestrian Postal act of nineteen seventy eight, all Princesses get free postage for official Equestrian government business. So you don’t need a stamp just a signature on the envelope and then just tell me where it needs to be delivered.”
Twilight took a moment to compose herself picking her jaw off the floor. “I didn’t know that Derpy and I read the original copy of the law in the Canterlot Archives. It already has my signature like you said but I don’t know the exact location of the pony I need to send it to.”
Derpy saluted “Dependability, Perseverance, and Integrity. That's the motto of the Equestrian Postal Service if this is important Princess business, I’ll find them even if they are hiding in the deepest depths of Tartarus. I swear it upon Celestia’s golden sun and by Luna’s moon I will not fail Equestria!”
Some ponies in the post office stared at the declaration of the cross-eyed pegasus but Twilight just hugged the grey mare. “Oh thank you Derpy. I owe you big time last I heard she was heading to Mount Aris. I really appreciate this, if Dinky ever needs help with her homework just send her my way.”
“Sounds good Twilight. So who am I’m delivering this to?” Derpy asked.
Twilight smiled “Tempest Shadow”