Rule #2: I will NOT assemble a league of furbies to raid the local diner for my free breakfast deal
...
And I will ALSO NOT EVER pose as a comic book superhero, for it puts my friends to shame.
Fluttershy raised an eyebrow.
"Um, Rainbow Dash?" she muttered, air growing more intense by the millisecond, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"
The cyan mare scoffed, "Pfft-- good idea? Of course not; it's genius! Plus, I found my second perfect candidate!" she was practically overflowing with wicked joy. It was scary.
And that wasn't even the gist of it.
Fluttershy slumped back, her final rebuttal a single eye roll. So she leaned back, and glared at the ceiling instead. Of course, since directing your inner frustration with your best friend is just horribly rude.
Suddenly, a thought came to mind.
"Er, Rainbow, didn't you mention something... about the synthetic mustache, nylon stuff..."
"Ah," she brightened in remembrance, "Yeah, that'll become relevant later on. Oh, and I think we need to go shopping eventually, too. I'm sure we're low on demolition supplies,"
"A-and the nylon?"
"Eh, rope stuff, safety junk." she swerved back around to the laptop screen, "Like those harness thingies-- uh the...the nylon ones?"
Fluttershy nodded.
"It's uh, you know, the one that prevents you from falling and dying. That-- that nylon stuff."
"That's... depressing,"
"--Wait, hold the phone..." Clicking on a link faster than lightning (much unlike the network performance), Dash scanned over the E-buy item list, before reading aloud,
FURBY EDITION #1: WOW SUPER RARE!!!11!!
$750.00
FREE SHIPPING (maybe)
"Jackpot!" Dash exclaimed, awaking the pastel pegasus from her thoughts. "Fluttershy, look at--
"HOLY GOSH!"
"What?"
"Seven-hundred and fifty bits?!" Dash whined, "H-how am I supposed to get that much money in four days?!"
Fluttershy leaned aside, eyes widening as she too, ran her gaze across the ridiculous pricing. She was barely able to push past her friend to gain control of the mouse, before scrolling down the page, revealing some interesting information.
Dash suddenly felt the other mare's tension vanish.
"Oh, no need to worry, Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy pointed out, "The payment is shown in DOH-LARSE, not bits!"
"Oh no," Rainbow groaned, "I don't even know what doh-larses are! This couldn't possibly get any worse!"
"It turns out," the butter-yellow mare commented, "That doh-larses are actually a form of currency from, according to Twilight, another civilization," Dash deflated further.
"But the upside is, bits are worth a ton more in their world; I heard it's like offering them gold!"
Rainbow sprang up, "Wait so, like, we could buy a heck ton of those guys on E-buy and still have money leftover?"
"W-were you planning on spending ALL of your savings, Dash?" Fluttershy looked incredulous.
But her question was instantly declined, as the other pegasus was back on the screen in ten-seconds flat, along with multiple obnoxious dinging noises. Scooting her chair over, Fluttershy glanced across the now active screen and shrieked in dismay.
"Yep. I just order 562 furbies! I'm sure to gain national dominion this time!" she puffed out her chest in the most proud-like manner, as Fluttershy stared in horror.
"National.... national dominion?" she echoed, "Dashie, are you... are you absolutely sure this is a good idea?" she carefully worded.
"I mean, can't you just... like, um, step on a few cans and not throw them away?"
Rainbow huffed, "Uh, DUH-- and breakfast. Breakfast, too."
"What are you--"
"Look," The athletic pegasus sighed, "Total government control means free breakfast specials on Tuesdays. You know how much I love Tasty's Egg SandwichesTM,"
Fluttershy opened her mouth, only to quickly close it. It was rare to see her friend so prepared and organized, much less in a situation that was not at all related to any sort of competition. Not to mention that it almost warmed her heart to see her friend so gleeful.
Almost.
So Fluttershy narrowed her eyes, mustering up her 'assertive' face.
"Rainbow Dash, I'm being serious!" she shrieked, "Is sending a 'reformed' changeling army to Canterlot just not enough? Listen; I understand that you-- Wait, does the free Tuesday breakfast come with Smiley PancakesTM?"
Rainbow blinked, slowly returning herself back to her seat.
"Uh... yeah."
"Oh, I just love Smiley Pancakes," Fluttershy fluttered her lashes, glancing dreamily up at the ceiling fan, "Those cute, little smiley faces, and the strawberry cheeks! Ah, and the whipped cream hair-- it's just so adorable... but alas,"
She placed her hoof above her forehead, "Due to story arc, I have been unable to visit this fine establishment to receive my required balanced breakfast, oh woe is me,"
"Well, you're really bad at emotionally guilt-tripping," Rainbow winced, "But fair.
"After our domination, you can have all the Smiley Pancakes you want!"
"Horray!" Fluttershy 'cheered'.
"Now, it's time for phase two to unfold; FMDD style."
"Uh..."
"Furby Manipulation Demolition Device, what?" she continued, "Anywho, we need to hurry to Tasty's before 5PM, and make it back for our package."
Fluttershy tilted her head, "Eh, how long will it take the package to arrive?"
Rainbow scratched her chin before, widening the desk drawer and shuffling through it. To no avail, she shrugged, and checked for, what appeared to be, a watch on her foreleg. Studying the watch, she nodded to herself,
"Approximately fifty-seven minutes,"
"W-well we best get going then! What if our spot gets taken in line?" Dash laughed.
"Oh, believe you, me; I've got eyes everywhere..."
"Dash has eyes everywhere," Twilight grumbled, spitting out a few thorns, "I-I sware, she--"
"SHHHHHH, Twilight!" Pinkie whispered, placing the binoculars over her eyes, enlarging her pupils, "We need to be quiiiiet!"
"Alright, alright... but did we really have to choose the bush with the most thorns?" the alicorn hissed, Pinkie unsure whether it was in sheer pain, or burning hatred.
The two quieted down in an instant, as the earthpony cleared a small patch of bush so her binoculars fit through the hole, just inches away from the floor window of Tasty's Snack Shack. She hummed to herself, as if studying the events inside the near-empty diner.
"Ow!" Twilight howled, rubbing her cheek and flicking away a beetle, "That wasn't lethal, was it?"
"SHHHHHHHHHH, Twilight!" Pinkie shushed, quickly returning her gaze through the glass.
The inside was still barely even half-full, the usual nighttime customers taking their seats, while others dropped a tip and left, seemingly content with their meals.
"Pinkie, there's literally bugs everywhere; I-I'm claustrapho--"
"SSSSHHHHHHHHH, TWILIGHT!"
Suddenly, there was a familiar clip-clopping of.... wait.
No, these weren't just any pair of hooves, these were golden-encrusted boots.
"It's him..." Pinkie muttered, beneath the gentle wisps of the new breeze. "I just need to watch for one more...."
The tan and white stallion approached the counter, sneering under his 'stache, which, honestly, was probably made of gold. "The entire diner, please," he demanded in his arrogant-like voice, "I'm having quite the fine pah'ty tonight with my equally-rich goirlfriend,"
Pinkie gasped, tightening her grip on the binoculars. It was Snobby Mc Snobby-Pants, back yet again to foil their plans!
"Oh geez," Pinkie worried, "All we have to do is stay as quiet as possible, and then we can--"
"MY EYE," Twilight cried, "IT'S IN MY EYE, IT WENT RIGHT IN MY EYE OH GOD,
"THIS MUST BE DEATH WITHOUT DYING,"
"Twilight, SHHHHHH! WE HAVE TO BE--"
"Well, well, well!" a familar voice announced, as the mares popped their heads out of the bushes, capturing the appearance of the eccentric earthpony.
"Snobby Mc Snobby-Pants," Pinkie tightened her fists (??), "We meet again,"
The stallion flashed his gold-encrusted dentures, "How many times will I have to tell you,"
"It's DOCTOR--"
"Alright, alright!" Twilight held up her hooves, obviously weirded out, "I've seen ALOT the past few weeks, and this is SO not how I'm ending my Sunday afternoon, not again!"
Pinkie slumped, "Aww, Twilight, come on! Don't be such a party-pooper!"
"I'm NOT a--"
THEN SUDDENLY, FROM THE EDGE OF TOWN...
"Wait," Twilight said, "Who said that?"
Pinkie squealed in delight, "Ooh, the narrator's arrived!"
COOL TRANSITION COOL TRANSITION COOL TRANSITION COOL TRANSITION COOL TRANSITION COOL TRANSITION
"Alright.." Rainbow Dash muttered, fastening her hoof-made felt-belt.
"You ready, Shy?"
Fluttershy nodded shakily, death-gripping the cold electricity pole.
"Awesome," Rainbow slipped on her mask, quickly regretting using the polyester material. "Let's swing into action!"
The reserved pegasus was suddenly hyper-aware of the view below, and it had ultimately surprised her when she glanced down into a city she was pretty damn sure wasn't there yesterday..
SCRIIIITCH
Glancing nervously upwards, Fluttershy gawked at the sight of the torn nylon--
Uh, you know, the one that prevents you from falling and dying.
"Rainbow Dash, wait!" Fluttershy yelped, before the blue pegasus sky-dived down, with a cry of joy. "You forgot to tighten your nylon!"
COOL TRANSITION COOL TRANSITION COOL TRANSITION COOL TRANSITION COOL TRANSITION COOL TRANSITION
Twilight furrowed her brows. "Where do these words keep coming from?!"
"Not TONIGHT, Doctor Desperado!" came a familiar, and yet strangely heroic voice.
"Uh.... witty catchphrase!" this time it was Fluttershy's voice, immediately before a blue blur swooped in on the evil doctor.
"It's.... actually never mind you got it quite correct--"
P O W !!
"Pow-- what the--" Twilight swatted the words away, to no avail. "I-I think I need to lie down,"
Immediately after the two hit the ground, Fluttershy crashed in, somehow still attached to her safety-cord.
"Ow, ow," Rainbow Dash muttered, failing to notice the other end of her rope laying across from her. "Yep. That certainly went the way we planned!"
TO BE CONTINUED
"Where in Equestria are these phrases coming from?!"