"Soooooo" Sacanas said in a very awkward manner "Care to tell me your names?"
"Oooh! Oooh! Ooooh!" the pony in red said excitedly "Mynameis DeadPoopbutthat'snotmyrealnameisWadeorwas itMouthyMercIcan'tremeberandayaksorcererexperimentedonme andmademeimmortalwhichmeansIcansurviveevengetting hurledintothesunactuallyI'mnotsureaboutthatbutworthatry andheyreadersdidyouknowthatIamaDeadpoolripoffina fanfictionwrittenbyacruddyanimatorthatthinksheisbetter thanheactuallyisbecauseI'msureasTartarusawareofthatfact!"
Sacanas can only stare at Dead Poop at how quickly he just introduced himself. Then he looked at the armoured pony.
"And what about you?"
"The name's Death Stroke" the armoured pony said "and yes, that name is fake. And no, I'm not gonna tell ya what my real name is"
"Is it something embarrassing like Fizzlepop Berrytwist?"
"Now who the Tartarus would name their kid Fizzlepop Berrytwist, apart from my rival and occasional ally Dead Poop"
"And we would be full time allies if you admit to stealing my shtick!" Dead Poop loudly announced
"Buddy, I've been in the mercenary game way before your regenerating flank ever did"
"Oh really, then tell me something I don't know about Equestrian history! And since I have been reading the MLP Wiki, believe me when I say I know a lot about Equestrian history!"
"The reason Luna became Nightmare Moon was because the people used to give Celestia milk and cookies but never left any for Luna"
"Wow, Really? I did not know that!"
"That's because I made it up"
"Aha! Knew it!"
"Then why were you prepared to go to the moon with some milk and cookies?"
Sacanas then looked at Dead Poop, who has spontaneously spawned a rocket out of thin air and a plates of cookies with a glass of milk right next to the cookies. Dead Poop then looked at Death Stroke.
"Because I'm a nice pony that likes to bring laughter and cheer wherever I go. Even if it involves killing schmucks but hey, some of my bits for a job go to the Poor Mooks and Redshirts Foundation, conveniently found by a pony called Red Shirt before he got eaten by manticore while on a trek".
If it weren't for the fact that the foundation existed (as well as him missing one of his eyes and the other one is covered up by a mask that gives him blank features) Death Stroke would be rolling his eyes at this point. Meanwhile, Sacanas kept on looking for more mercs to hire.
"Where are you going?" Death Stroke asked
"Well there's only two of you and I would need at least four more people before giving you guys a job"
"Well, luckily for us, we know two people that are very big guys"
Death Stroke then pointed to a minotaur wearing a mask and a lamia that is covered in some sort of dark magic. The minotaur was holding up a red pony with explosives strapped to him and a bowl on his head.
"You call that breaking my spine?!" the pony boasted "You ladies wouldn't know how to break a spine if it-ARRRGH MY SPINE!!!!"
"That right there is Big Guy Ben" Death Stroke said while pointing to the minotaur "Don't let the muscles fool you, he is as smart as he is savage. He also has a habit of breaking people's backs, especially camels. We were originally gonna call him The Straw but he threatened to break our backs if we did that" Death Stroke then pointed to the lamia "And that over there is Eddie. He got taken over by Nightmare Forces after being banished to the moon for making slanderous reports against Princess Celestia. Well, that's what he tells us what happened anyways. The way I see it, the truth was that he was an incompetent reporter who thought he could get in on a scoop by interviewing Nightmare Moon and figured it would be a wise idea to try and teleport to the moon"
"And how did he do that" Sacanas asked
"I don't think anypony knows that part and, to be frank with you, I don't want to know either"
"Well, now that introductions are out of the way, gather the rest of your band of mercenaries!" Sacanas ordered in the most over-the-top fashion possible "I've got a job for you little mercs! And a big guy in Ben's case".