//------------------------------// // The Fuzz V: How Long & Now What? // Story: A Christmas to Remember // by TwiPON3 //------------------------------// Sofia's phone started ringing as the engine in her old Zaz Tavria roared to life. "Answer phone!" she said, perturbed that it wouldn't start for a few minutes. Neither found it in time, but it pinged for a new message a few seconds later. Осень: Софиа, бад невс. Ве хад то спилл тхе беанс то тхе Раинбоомс, велл мостлы Апплейацк, Флуттершы, анд Рариты. Пинкие Пие цаугхт он претты яуицклы, инхуманлы-фаст, ацтуаллы, анд Раинбов Даш ис стилл ин тхе хоспитал. Иьм нот суре, бут тхе цопс маы финд оут абоут алл оф тхис шит веьве веен феединг тхем ас факе анд тхе трутх а ЛОТ соонер тхан ве тхоугхт. Алсо, финд оут хов лонг Сетх ис гонна бе ин Быелоруссиа. "They're onto us," Seth said as Sofia finally got on the road, "No idea how long it'll be before-" his phone started pinging like crazy, so he checked it, "Jesus Christ!" "What!?" she said as he forced the phone off. "Someone's hacked my phone! They're stealing my files!" "What do we-" "Dinner plans on hold, I need a burner laptop. NOW!!!" "I can be at computer store in fifteen minutes!" she said, haphazardly making a U-turn in the road and driving crazier than Seth would to a tech store. "What do you need?" she asked as they both ran in. "Twelve-inch, 64-gig Pinebook, 16-gig USB, and a burner phone." "Okay," she said, running to the desk. "Što ja mahu dapamahčy vam sionnia?" the man behind the desk said in Byelorussian. "Dvanaccać caliaŭ, šesćdziesiat čatyry hihabajta Pinebook, šasnaccać hihabajt USB, i prystojnaj jakasci pradapločanych smartfon, i jon pavinien pracavać u Savieckim Sajuzie, Jeŭropie i Amierycy." "Dajcie mnie adnu chvilinu, i ja viarnusia," he said, going to the back, "Vy chočacie, kab ja aktyvavać što-niebudź?" "Niama! U nas niama času, i my možam zrabić heta samastojna!" "Što b vy skazali," he said, coming back shortly after with the stuff, "Piaćdziesiat šesć i siemdziesiat ... dvaccać dva i piać ... adzinaccać i tryccać čatyry ... Dzievianosta rublioŭ i dzieviać kapiejek." "Dziakuj!" she said, paying the guy as he took his new-bought, Soviet-grade tech, then they ran to her car. "What do you need it for?" she asked, starting the car. "Someone hacked my phone, which is also my laptop by extention, and started stealing my files, so we've got to pawn that shit off somehow, and we're, by now, criminals in Delaware." "If I caught, I plead insanity." "You what?" She grunted as she tried to get her Zaz to cooperate, then spoke when they were on the road to the diner, "I have been put in mental healthcare facility few times in Minsk. Longest I was there is forty-eight hours. All fake call-ins by jackass from Kiev or from Sofia." "I think in America, they keep you for three days or ask you basic questions if they're not sure." "We figure something out," she said, "Now let's eat." Seth took Sofia's phone and texted Autumn. Сафія: Тхис ис Сетх. Ригхт нов, еверытхинг ис тентативе. Сомебоды хацкед мы пхоне, тхеыьве стартед стеалинг мы филес, со И цаньт усе ит. И хаве а бурнер, анд Иьлл техт ёу тхе нумбер вхен И гет ит анд мы нев лаптоп ацтиватед. Итьс а Пинебоок, ин цасе ёы вере вондеринг, со нот партицуларлы поверфул. Иьлл стилл гет анд *поссиблы* мурдер тхис псычо битч беёнд анытхинг анёнеьс евер сеен. "...and send." "What are you going to do and how?" "Let's just say, while every other guy is bragging about the massive size of their junk in their underwear, mine's small, but it can do so much more." Sofia broke down laughing at that. Meanwhile in America... "Shit!" Shinelight said, hitting the table with her fists, "This soviet asshole lost the connection!" "What?" Passion said. "Either this dude's phone went dead, or there is no reliable technical infrastructure in the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics." "Sis, I don't know as much about computers, by a longshot, as you do." "His phone died or the pink-commies have shoddy Internet where he's at." "I love you." "Thanks," Shinelight said, smiling as she went back to hacking on her Panasonic Toughbook CF-53. "I need to make a run," Passion said, checking her phone, "I'll be back in a little bit. Call me if anything happens." "You got it," she replied, drinking from her coffee. Passion went out to the hospital, hoping one of the two culprits would be there. Speedy never told me if Seth was there, but maybe he is.