//------------------------------// // Time // Story: I Am His Queen // by Arreis Of Avalon //------------------------------// He realizes, as he stares into the cup before him, that remarkably, there can be circumstances where he cannot stomach the taste of tea. “I’ve contacted Shining Armor,” Celestia says upon her return to the table in her sitting room. “As I suspected, Princess Cadance left not long ago for a visit to Twilight. He doesn’t know what is truly happening, but I’ve no doubt that my pupil has called her for assistance. This will buy us time.” Tskari looks around again as Celestia sits at the table; it is a good distraction from the carefully controlled, but still forceful emotions beside him. The room is a rich, deep purple, with a fireplace nearby, unlit. A lunar banner is nearby, but it is clear from the colors of the room - purple, yellow, blue - that this is a celestial room. Likely, Celestia’s private study. He can see a couch nearby where she regularly sat, but now, they have tea at the table. “Is it safe to wait any longer?” Luna is asking. “The Mouraiie have been known to survive for years in their state, especially those who are strong willed. Queen Chrysalis will be safe for now. We still have time.” “Would someone,” Tskari says suddenly, looking directly at them both, “mind telling me just what is the story here? How do you know how to wipe your emotions in such a way? How do you know what the Mouraiie are? And what does this have to do with Velouri?” There is a touch of anger in his voice. Luna frowns immediately as she hears it. “I hardly think you are in a position-” “Luna, please.” Celestia nods to Tskari. “You’ve every right to be angry. I imagine you served under Queen Velouri?” He smothers the anger in him, cursing internally at his lack of control. Still. It had been a trying day. “Velouri and I born of the same brood. Not hatchmates, mind you - my mother wasn’t anything close to a queen.” Celestia nods in understanding, a surprise to him, but he supposes that at this point, he shouldn’t be as surprised. “And you remember, of course, the battle?” He frowns. “Of course. The body count sticks out in my mind the most.” He sighs, shutting his eyes and remembering it. Fighting, changeling versus friend. The changelings had made powerful friends in Equestria in the time they had helped Celestia and Luna build - and those friends had become the worst of enemies in practically a week of betrayals when the invasions began. “I still disagree with her decision. She never should have attacked you. It ruined the entire changeling race.” “I’m pleased you do not share her penchant for violence,” Celestia says softly, “but there is more I ask you to remember. Did she ever speak of what happened in the castle that day?” Tskari blinks and thinks back, ages and ages ago. He is certainly no youngling anymore, and it takes a moment of thought. “I recall guarding the throne room while she detained you. I remember trying to fight you, Luna, when you discovered what had happened.” Luna’s eyes widen. “Truly? You were the guard at the door?” “I refused to let the changeling I loved leave my side in such an invasion.” Neither seems surprised by his declaration of love. “I can still feel the impact against the wall when I bend the wrong way.” Luna does not show any regret or shame, but he can feel different emotions bleeding off of her as always. She, unlike her sister, cannot block them. He grins sharply, showing off his fangs. “You really find me amusing, don’t you?” Embarrassment and touches of frustration. Celestia smiles at Luna and puts a hoof on her. “He’s purposely goading you, sister.” “I know that, Tia. I just don’t appreciate playfulness at this current time.” Tskari frowns. “She’s right. We’ve important things to discuss. Now.” He leans forward, eyes narrowing, all business now. “What happened in that throne room?” *~*~*~ I find myself blacking in and out of the conversation as they attempt to get my attention. I can hardly stay awake. I am… so very exhausted. But every second that passes, I feel more and more. Somehow, I am feeling again. I am in so, so much pain. I can feel, but all I feel is ache and dread. I know what is to come. It is inevitable, and avoiding it any longer will only hurt more. My love is dead, and my emotions have been buried with him. Nothing can reverse that fact. Nothing can bring him back. You don’t deserve to feel anymore. I know. “Princess, is this really going to work? She’s… She’s in a really bad state.” That was Twilight speaking. I open my eyes weakly. The world is still dim. There is no color anymore, and everything is blurred. I can see the Princess clearly, however, wrapped in a certain glow. My body twitches slightly and I feel the need to bound up, to feast on her, to take everything. I need to stand, I need to feed, I am dying with need. But I cannot move. I cannot try. There is no point. She won’t bring him back. The feeling fades, but the slightest shred of it remains. Longing. Deep, aching longing. It hurts so very much. “I-I don’t know, Twilight. It’s so much worse than I thought. Maskra?” “She’s feeling something again.” His voice makes me feel safer. It fades to ash. “Longing, I think. You might want to stay away from her, Princess. She’s tasting your magic.” “But is it helping?” “She wants all of it. She’s been starving, after all. You don’t give a starving person the richest meals. You start them with oats and water.” He even speaks like a pony. Oats, water. What of meat? My eyes start to close again, even as I try to will them open once more. I am… ever so tired. The world grows dimmer. As they close and the conversations grow to be simply whispers, I hear buzzing in my ears. It’s… familiar, somehow. I can’t recall exactly what it was, but it brings me comfort. The comfort stays longer this time. Then it fades to ash, like all else. “Chrysalis?” I open my eyes softly. Cadance is talking to Maskra in the corner, whispering. It must be Twilight who stands over me, but I cannot see her clearly at all. It is all blurred. “Chrysalis, please. There’s so much love in the air. Just take it in, bit by bit, okay? You’re going to be fine.” I try to speak. I try to explain that nothing can be fine. I cannot be fine. You cannot fix that which wants to stay broken. All I manage is opening my mouth and closing it again. It feels dry. I have not fed on or drank of anything in what feels like months. While emotions sustain us, particularly love, we do require other necessities. I have neglected myself. I want to neglect myself. You want to die. I hear Maskra breathe in sharply and feel him shift his gaze towards me. He darts over, grabbing my hoof. “Damn it, Chrys, fight this!” My heart pangs. He’s heard me. How… unfortunate. I hardly register his presence, but as he squeezes my hoof, I find, somehow, myself squeezing back. “Good. Good, c’mon, you have to fight. For Celestia’s sake, fight this.” Amusement - from myself, I am sensing my own emotions now. How remarkable. It fades to ash quickly, but I feel lighter, somehow. Why would Celestia care? I can just barely see him grin. “Good. Good. Keep fighting for me, alright? We’re hatchmates. So you have to listen to me. Don’t you dare, ever think that thought you had again.” I feel my eyes closing again. As my world fades to blackness once more, I hear him repeating his call to action. Fight this. Keep fighting. I remember the dream I had, what seems like so long ago. Maskra, begging me to fight. I feel like I have been fighting for centuries. Has it truly only been months since my love died? Months can feel like centuries, it appears. But at least I feel. That is better, I think, briefly. It is better. And then it all fades again. “- to Princess Celestia about this.” My eyes barely flutter open. I want to sleep so badly, but that buzzing and whispering keeps me here. I want to close my eyes and return to nothing. Please, I silently plead. Let me go. Nobody answers my call, but I do feel the slightest concern spike through the already prevalent concern from Maskra. “She's awake again, but it's dim. I don't know what's happening. She keeps-” I can no longer listen. I groan as audibly as I can. It is not much, but it is enough. They shut up. “Please. Be quiet,” I whisper. My voice scratches my throat and pierces the air weakly. “I want sleep.” “Please, Queen Chrysalis.” I flinch as I feel a surge of love. The Princess. Her latent power is so much. Almost too much. I feel as though I am drowning. “You need rest, but you also need to stay awake. You keep slipping away.” It's too much. I turn my face, shutting my eyes once more. “Please, Princess, it's too much for her-” Maskra quickly pushes her away. I just make out the conversation they whisper. “I'll get word to them. I'll leave now.” “Wait,” I say. “Maskra. Please.” He looks up and comes over again quickly, grabbing my hood as he did before. “My Queen.” Longing. Resentment. Hope. Fear. So much fear. So much pain. I hold it back as best I can. “Thank you. For looking after him.” “My Queen-” “No. I'm not your queen. Not anymore. I am his queen and his queen only.” His eyes widen. “I serve Eacko now. He told me I would be a good queen. He knew I could. I will be a good queen for him.” I'm not sure why that moment was when I had to say that. But I know as the words leave my mouth that they need to be said. Something in me rests easier. Maskra licks his lips and nods. “Of course, Chrysalis. For Eacko.” “And Maskra?” “Yes?” “Please. Do something about that buzzing.” *~*~*~ “You know a fair amount of the story already, Tskari.” Celestia sighs softly, her eyes lost in the past. Tskari watches her closely, feeling the emotions she lets slip through her shield. Regret is the strongest, but also a firm sense of loyalty. His respect for the princess grows with each passing moment, he finds. “We were being assaulted on all sides, and Velouri promised aid.” “From the very start, that was a farce,” Tskari says softly. “All she wanted was ponies for love. She was greedy. We would have been fine had she just given aid as promised.” Luna scowls. “Instead, she sought to dethrone us through trickery and warfare.” “She was so much better when she was younger.” Tskari shut his eyes tightly, remembering the fiery young changeling he had been devoted to. “But then, she always had been cunning. She would have made a perfect infiltrator.” “She issued commands in my name before I was detained,” Celestia continues in a factual tone, eyes shut with a practiced calm. “This led many to die, on both sides of the senseless war, before I managed to confront her. That is when she issued the order to attack.” “We trapped you in the war room beneath the castle. I remember it well.” “And I was away, overseeing the chaos of the battles, changelings and ponies fighting alongside each other. Hoping for a better day led to the betrayal that was to come.” Luna looks at Celestia, this time with sorrow rather than anger pouring out of her. “We were so young, Tia. We were so foolish. I was so foolish! When word reached me of ‘your’ orders, I let my distrust get the best of me, and yet I did nothing. I should have come home at my first doubt and freed you-” “We did our best, Luna. We all did our best.” Celestia sighs. “I regained myself before Luna returned, knowing not how long it had been. I went to the throne room through a secret entrance.” “I always wondered how you got in. Velouri said you appeared out of the light of the sun.” He smiles fondly, if bittersweetly. “She always had a flair for the dramatic.” “I confronted her. And… She spoke with me.” Tskari perks up. This is the part he had never known. What Velouri never saw fit to share, not even the council. “I knew of her betrayal now, and she did not see fit to lie to me. She explained what she wanted from this war - love. How taking the throne in my place would give her the love of all of my subjects. How she would rule in my place and how her ponies would thrive alongside her changelings, if I would but abdicate my throne. I refused. Ponies would never love a lie, I said, and she was a queen. Not a princess. She would rule my little ponies as she ruled her changelings. It was a different world altogether. If she only worked alongside us, rather than ruled over us, then things would run smoothly.” “So set the ponies against the changelings, have a bit of fighting until you abdicate your throne or die, and then ‘miraculously’ the changelings are finished off. When in reality, the changelings join the general population, and now the ponies feel even stronger and empowered after managing to defeat such an unexpected, powerful enemy.” Tskari nods. “She never really fully explained. We just followed her orders.” “She did not agree with my wishes for peace,” Celestia continues. “Her plan was already in place. The changelings were already attacking. If she could not have their love, then she would take it from me. Until I agreed to her terms, my ponies would die.” Tskari nods softly as he processes this information. “I heard the call. I refused to go. I stayed to protect my queen. At the time… I even thought she was right. A part of me did, at least.” “We all grow wiser with time.” Celestia smiles, but the pain she emanates is too strong to hide behind that mask. “Luna commanded the battles. And at home… I refused to fight.” “Why? You were likely at least equally matched, and the queen would have been distracted by the hive.” “We were allies. I believed there was a diplomatic way to solve things. I tried to make her an equal, but that failed. I explained to her that my ponies would know the difference, but she took that as an insult to her powers.” “She would.” “Luna came even as I pleaded with Velori. I sent out my message to her, not knowing if she would hear - but she did. It took her so little time to get back.” “About thirty minutes. How on earth did you fly that fast?” Tskari asks softly. “Magic. I teleported most of the way.” Luna glances at Celestia, nodding. “I received my sister’s message, though it was faint, garbled, and vague. But given the chaos on the fields and the fact that my messages to you had remained unrecognized, I fled to the castle as soon as I heard from you. I arrived and did battle with you, Tskari, and once you were out of the way, I charged into the throne room.” “Velouri was still in Celestia’s form.” “No.” Tskari’s eyes widen a little at Celestia’s answer. “Velouri was in her normal form.” “She said…” Tskari nods. “She lied to us then. About the true events. None of us could ever tell.” “She did. She did not trick Luna at all. She was very honest about her intentions, actually.” Luna frowns. “When I saw her, and how drained my sister was from the assault that trapped her, I lashed out. I fought Velouri tooth and nail. But I was still young and inexperienced. She could beat me easily.” “But when I saw Luna take an immense blow, I could no longer rest idly. I stood and fought, and my attacks caused Velouri to pause. They were fueled by my love for Luna.” “Together, we beat her back. But she was still strong. We fought ourselves to exhaustion. As we fought, her desperation unfolded.” “Desperation?” This is the first he is hearing of this. Luna and Celestia look at each other, and Celestia sighs. “Velouri was dying.” Tskari feels his heart go cold. *~*~*~ The council is in disarray. “We’re trying everything,” Koviska shouts, slamming his hoof down. “Reaching her is nearly impossible, even with the full power of the hive behind it.” “Clearly, we aren’t trying hard enough.” Charron huffs, shutting their eyes tightly. “We’ve been trying to reach her for weeks now. She hasn't sent us any information. No communications. That was not part of the agreement with the Equestrians!” “We all know that,” Idarsa hisses, glaring at them from her seat. “We need to go and find out what’s happening-” “Doing so would break the treaty we’ve formed! We have to follow the Queen’s orders.” “We still need to be able to communicate!” “We need to reexamine our moves thus far,” Aizeam chimes in, his voice quivering from the fact that he is speaking for once. “H-How many Changelings-” “ALL  OF THEM!” Aizeam flinches and Charron rolls their eyes. “Man up, you pathetic scout.” Paerwx sighs heavily. “Let’s not resort to insults, Charron.” They open their mouth to make another hot retort, but Paerwx lifts her hoof and silences them. All of the members follow suit, silent. “We have to keep our heads level if we want to fix this problem. Now. We have all of the Changelings in our lands reaching out. What about those not in our lands?” The council murmurs with buzzing. “What do you mean?” ‘You know what I mean, Faeik, of anyling in this room. We know there are Changelings beyond our lands. What of those in Equestria? Or beyond? What of retired Changelings living beyond the Badlands and in hiding?” “They would have heard our cries,” Koviska replies, though the uncertainty in his voice can be heard by all. “We’re directing everything at our Queen. Those outside of our lands have steadily disconnected themselves from the mind.” “Then how are we to reach them?” Idarsa hisses, shaking her head. “This will get us nowhere. They are not our people any longer.” Paerwx does not answer this. She doesn’t have an answer, yet. Aizeam clears his throat. “I. I have. A risky idea.” “Of course he does.” Aizeam does his best to brush off Charron’s words, but his nervousness is nonetheless felt by all in the room. “Well. There… is the possibility of a specific group of changelings that. That could reach her.” “Who?” Koviska frowns. “We’ve got everyone.” “No, actually,” Aizeam says quickly, his confidence growing as the council gives him their attention. “What of our Queen’s hatchmates?” There is a brief silence. Paerwx buzzes thoughtfully, her emotions secret, as ever. “We would need to locate them. Shasria should be easy.” “I'm grateful now that we didn't execute her for her insolence,” Idarsa says begrudgingly, “though I know we all thirsted for her blood.” “Our Queen was smart to keep her alive,” Paerwx agrees. “Who else from her clutch can we track down?” “There is Swille, the Architect.” There's a few murmurs. A changeling from a Queen’s brood that started as a mere digger. They all should have known he would become an Architect, dictating the design of the ever shifting Hive. He was brilliant. “I’m sure we could contact him fairly easily.” “Ocura is on assignment in an undisclosed location,” Faeik chimes in. “She’s not due back for another week, but if we remind her of her duty to her Queen…” “She would come quickly.” Paerwx frowns. “There were two others.” “One is a traitor and one willingly killed himself to save our Queen from her disgrace,” Charon says bitterly. They sigh. “We will be unable to reach them.” Faeik hums. “An easy solution for one single traitor. I'll send Ocura to gather him. We will make an example of those who betray us. He will work with us in his last moments.” There is a cold calm in his voice that leaves few doubts in the councils mind who Tskari’s predecessor shall be. “And what of the Royal guard who gave his life?” “We can worry about him once we gather the others. Perhaps having those scattered changelings will give us the volume we need to make our Queen hear us.” Paerwx buzzes thoughtfully, and once again marvels at her ability to withhold her own emotions from others. She thanks the Queen Mother that the others cannot feel her uncertainty. “All in favor of this plan?” Every changeling agrees. “Then let us adjourn.” *~*~*~ “Velouri lived for centuries after that day,” Tskari denies, eyes narrowing. “I feel she tricked you again.” But one did not need to be a changeling in order to recognize the doubt in his voice. “Think of it, Tskari. One young Alicorn, inexperienced and having used her magic extensively to return home, and one hardly grown Alicorn that had been apprehended by the Changelings. You know the effect your magic has on us.” Tskari bites his lip. Disorienting, magic dampening powers. “If she was as strong as a Changeling Queen should be, at her age and power level? You would not be speaking with us today.” “I… I don't understand. How did she-” “It will make sense in time, Tskari, if you'll let us explain?” He gently relaxes himself, forcing himself to remain calm. He is angry that Velori kept this from him, pained by the memory of her lies. He feels his sorrow strongly. “Okay. Alright. I'm sorry.” He can feel the slightest bit of hastily bitten down sympathy from Luna. She does not feel his gratitude. Celestia sighs. “She told us she was dying. We didn't believe her at first, but she explained her failing magic and limited abilities. She said that the love she had been receiving wasn't enough to sustain her any longer. She shifted form before us.” “She was disguised?” “As herself.” Tskari huffs in surprise. “Her body was decaying. The holes were wide gashes and her wings were damaged.” “We all gave her the love we gathered. We were prosperous.” “She couldn't survive on it.” “The way she explained it to us,” Luna says, “was that the love sustained her for a shorter time than it should have. It didn't last long enough.” “She seemed fine. The hive was well fed. Why didn't she take more if she was so hungry?” But he knows the answer already. “She refused to take it from her subjects. And thus, in a desperate move, she sought to steal the love of all of Equestria. She could not tell the council, because it was clearly some sort of deficiency. She would be dethroned.” Tskari wants desperately to deny it, but… he knows his people. Sometimes he even finds himself hating their traditional ways. This is one of those times. “I would have protected that secret. I protected her in everything, why didn't she trust me?” The two others at the table let the conversation fall and leave their conversation partner to digest his grief. It doesn't take long. He breathes and accepts the past. After all, there is nothing he can do to change it. “Okay… I believe you. You’ve got no reason to lie to me, and she did.” “She couldn't trust anyone, Tskari. She did what she had to do, in her eyes, to protect her subjects.” He nod, seeing the truth in Celestia’s words. “She told her story to us. And said she would stop at nothing to take my ponies love.” “We did not want another war,” Luna says. “And the battles were already taking their toll on both sides. But we also could not allow her to take the throne.” “Did you fight?” “No. We… negotiated.” Tskari raises a brow. “Surely there was a way we could collect the love our ponies provided? Give that love to Velouri somehow, without this senseless fighting.” Tskari is forming an idea. A terrible idea, certainly, but the only explanation that the pieces fit into perfectly. His eyes widen and he looks shocked. He feels the briefest emotion from Celestia as she recognizes his understanding, a fleeting taste of resignation, but combined with even the slightest bit of pride. It only confirms what he thinks. “You didn’t.” “I had to,” Celestia says softly. “It was the only way she would survive, and I am a peaceful being. Or at least I try to be.” “We couldn’t let her die. I protested, but it was weak. It seemed to be, at the time, the only way for us to make amends and stop fighting on another front.” Luna huffs and looks away. “I still regret letting my sister take that upon herself, especially in a weakened state.” “You were younger, and we both know how bad it was for us, back then. How much I coveted the attention and love of our subjects.” Pain. Regret. Immense, drowning sorrow. Tskari drinks it in slowly, in pieces, to try and siphon some from the ponies before him. They need relief after all this time. “I was the only one who could do it.” “She really…” Celestia smiles softly and stands, ruffling her feathers slightly. “She did.” Before his eyes, Celestia focuses her magic, and he sees the shift plain as day. It is unlike how changelings shift; after all, Celestia is not a changeling. Not fully, at least. She sighs as she shifts, opening her eyes. There’s a touch of changeling in those eyes that Tskari immediately notices; the purple color is not quite natural for his race, but certainly for her, it fits. Her fur has shifted into chitin, black, as any changeling has - but it is shining, and her body is completely unmarred by holes. She is sleek, beautiful by any standards. Most notable is her mane and tail, however, and her wings. Her mane and tail have shed her rainbow coloration, taking a pink hue unnatural for changelings in any regard, and her wings share a similar color, translucent and practically sparkling. Tskari shivers as he feels it. Relief. Joy. And so much love. “You’re part-changeling.” “Linked to Velouri. I took part of her magic and we linked. I think it nearly killed me, but I am an alicorn, after all. I handled it well.” She nods, stretching softly. “The love I gathered, she felt. I sustained her, and in exchange, I received a direct connection to the changelings. I began to understand your race more. I connected to her mind more than once. The hive mind is an intriguing thing.” Tskari licks his lips, feeling sick to his stomach. Her understanding of Changeling culture, the immense control over her emotions as well as the strength of the feelings she felt… He curses softly and runs a hoof through his hair. “You’ve always been one. Ever since then, you were a Changeling.” “Part-changeling,” she reminds him. “I was closer when Velouri was alive. I felt it when she passed. The entirety of your race mourned. I did as well. She had, by then, grown closer to me. We were friends. I find I still miss her, some days. Now that she’s gone, I can barely keep in touch with the hivemind.” “How did you survive the Canterlot invasion? The blast of love?” “I will admit, it hurt. But I’m more pony than changeling. I never even shift anymore - not fully, anyways.” “And the trap? You were captured. You would have been able to escape.” “Not without revealing myself. I’m shocked that Chrysalis didn’t realize I awoke far earlier than I should have.” She sits and glances at Luna. “Nor did she recognize where so much of her power comes.” “She’s from Velouri’s clutch,” Tskari says with a soft, disbelieving laugh. “You’ve been feeding her since day one. Just a little. Her and all of her hatchmates.” “There’s a reason all of those changelings are so special. They’re the first that have been fed a direct link of love from their very birth. Granted, it’s diluted between however many hatchlings she had.” “Six.” Five, now, but he’s too shocked to recognize that right now. He shakes his head, blinking. “What’s with the hair,” he finally says, just to distract from his thinking. She laughs. “This is natural, actually.” “You mean-” “Tia likes the rainbow color, and why not use her powers to alter herself ever so slightly?” Luna raises a brow at Celestia. “You’d think you would slim yourself a little.” “Lulu!” Tskari shakes his head. “So… You know how to help Chrysalis because you. You’ve been feeding her since birth, without even knowing. You know about the Mouraiie.” “I did as much research as I could on changelings after I received Velouri’s gift. I discovered how to cure the Mouraiie. I know how to help her.” “How?” Celestia frowns and shifts slowly back to her normal state. Shaking her head, she hums thoughtfully. “You’re not going to like it.” “Tell me anyways.” “She’s going to need time.”