I found Penumbra waiting outside the door to my room the next morning, ready and eager to be my shadow. She was smirking, undoubtedly because of something that she had just said to the door guards which I had only heard muffled by the intervening wood. Whatever she had told them had left both red-faced despite their efforts to make their expressions professionally neutral when I emerged. I recognized Dauntless Blade as one of Trixie’s door guards the time she had said something that sounded salacious when heard out of context just as I was emerging from her room. Recalling how he’d reacted then, I paused to stare at the stallion as if I’d heard everything. He got even redder and I saw beads of sweat start to form. I let him stew for a few seconds longer before turning away and saying to my bodyguard, “Really, Penumbra?”
“Yep!” she replied with a huge fang-bearing smile.
As we trotted off to breakfast, I still had no idea what they were talking about, but I didn’t care. I’d finally gotten my revenge on that guard! Maybe Easy Breeze or Far Sight would learn what it was from their comrade later and tell me about it. Then I could enjoy it all over again!
Trixie had the morning Court session that day, so I couldn’t go shopping until the lunch break. As the Sergeant-At-Arms closed the throne room doors, I said to Trixie, “Penumbra and I are going to Donut Joe’s for lunch. She’s going to show me a trick with a couple of choc-iced rings and a bear claw. Wanna come along?”
Trixie stared at me for a long moment before shaking her head in exasperation. “Truly, you are from another world, Radiarc Bells. If you don’t wish to tell Trixie what you’re really going to do, just say so.”
I gave her a nuzzle. “I’m just going to do a little shopping and observe how Penny works a crowd. I’ll pick up something a tad more nourishing for myself than a donut, I promise.” I saw Penumbra wince at the nickname I’d given her. Maybe next time she wouldn’t bring a knife to a job interview.
My marefriend nuzzled me back. “Have fun, but not too much!”
“I hear and obey, O Great and Powerfully Sexy Trixie.”
She gave me a telekinetic swat on the rump as I descended the throne’s dais. Worth it!
As we emerged from the throne room, Penumbra said, “You’ve got me thinking of all the things Maxi and I can do with Joe’s pastries.”
I chuckled. “You can figure that out later. We have lunch and a much more important errand to get done first.”
“All you’ve told me so far is that you want my opinion on something. Can I make a guess?”
“Dazzle me with your powers of observation!”
“You’re shopping for a gift for your Special Somepony,” she replied confidently.
Trixie and I still kept things strictly businesslike when in public, but we were much less restrained in the presence of only our closest confidantes. Penumbra hadn’t been with me long, but she would have been blind not to have realized how Trixie and I felt about each other. Still… “Close, but not quite.”
“Oh? What did I miss?”
“I’m going to buy an engagement ring for her.”
A puzzled expression crossed Penumbra’s face. “A what?”
After a little under a year here, I still had things to learn about Equestria, and it seemed I may have just stumbled upon another. “Where I come from, it’s customary to offer a ring when proposing marriage. If she accepts, then she will wear the ring to show her commitment.”
“Oh! A promise ring! That’s the kind of thing that only the nobility normally bothers with. The average pony can’t afford both a promise ring and a wedding ring, even if they subscribe to that tradition.”
“I didn’t realize that. Still, I’d like to bring some of my customs into the relationship, and it’s not as if I can’t afford it. A Grand Vizier gets paid decently well.”
“You’re confident that Princess Trixie will accept your suit then?”
“Yep. Heck, she practically proposed to me!”
“You make that sound unusual,” Penumbra said with a raised eyebrow.
I sometimes forget that it’s a mare-dominated society, so one proposing to a stallion shouldn’t have surprised me. Nevertheless, I wanted this particular tradition to be more like what I was used to. “Don’t mind me – I have some weird ideas occasionally.”
“Just occasionally?” she asked with a broad grin.
I gave the mare a flat look. “Yeah. Last time, I hired a smart-ass batpony. I gotta stop doing crazy things like that.”
“Crazy like marrying the Great and Powerful Trixie?”
I grew serious for a moment. “No. For once, I think I was perfectly sane. We’re both an odd fit for most ponies, but we go well together. I was a committed bachelor until now.”
“Now you just ought to be committed,” Penumbra chortled.
“Just for that, I’m not buying you lunch,” I said with an exaggerated huff.
“Aw! I’ll be good,” she whined. “So – I’m guessing you want my help in choosing a ring?”
“Yep. I’m almost totally ignorant of what is appropriate, and I don’t want a jeweler to pull a fast one on me either.”
“Hmm… I can’t say that I’m an expert, but I’ll offer my opinion. Might have a look around for something while we’re there.”
We stepped out of the palace front gate and the Royal Guards stationed there snapped a salute to me. I nodded in acknowledgement while Penumbra put on her shades and her business face. We then headed down the road into the restaurant sector. While the ring was important, it was midday and I was hungry!
I chewed on my oatburger thoughtfully. Penumbra was already demolishing her third mango sundae and thoroughly ruining her dignified and serious bodyguard image. Not that I cared. The restaurant’s patrons goggled at the thestral’s antics or had a quiet chuckle. It was a pity that I needed to interrupt her.
“Have you noticed that yellow unicorn mare with the blue mane?” I asked.
“You mean the one that followed us all the way from the castle?” she replied without taking her eyes off her dish, barely pausing between spoonfuls of fruit and ice cream to talk.
Okay, I was impressed. I hadn’t noticed anyone following me that far back. “So I’m not imagining that I’m being watched?”
“Nope. As long as that’s all she’s doing, I wouldn’t worry too much. Weirdo fans happen all the time.”
“Judging from her expression, she doesn’t strike me as a fan.”
“Me neither, but as long as she keeps her distance, she can do what she likes.”
I didn’t bother asking what she’d do if the mare didn’t keep her distance. That was Penumbra’s job and I’d let her do it without me meddling unless it was really called for. Still, I had to wonder why I was being watched so closely.
With my hunger quenched and presumably Penumbra’s also, we headed off to the retail sector in search of a jeweler’s shop. I’d heard of one mentioned several times by various nobles showing off their latest bling, but I wasn’t sure where exactly it was. My bodyguard had a better idea of this area of town though, and it wasn’t too long before we entered the establishment of the Brilliant Cut Jewelry Emporium. I noticed a faint shimmer in the air as I passed over the threshold. Some kind of security spell, perhaps?
I may as well have walked into any such shop on Earth – exactly the same kind of ostentatious display of finely crafted jewelry that the average pony could never afford, all lovingly displayed on acres of black velvet with strategically placed lights to bring the highlights of the pieces. And, of course, one finely dressed and obsequious unicorn salespony waiting for me just inside the entrance, off to the side so as not to block my path. Barely glancing at the thestral, his eyes lit up upon recognizing me. I don’t think that I’d ever met the stallion before, but someone in his line of business undoubtedly knew all the upper echelon ponies. He approached me with an ingratiating smile.
“Good afternoon, Grand Vizier Mark Wells. Welcome to my humble shop. My name is Sparkling Brooch and it would be my great pleasure to assist you today.”
Behind me, I heard a distinct ‘pop.’ Looking back, I saw Penumbra give me her most innocent look. I also noticed that she was standing exactly where the shield had been.
I turned back to the now frowning stallion and gave him my well-practiced neutral smile – it didn’t pay to seem too eager. “Good day. I am interested in purchasing a promise ring for a Special Somepony. You come highly recommended by several nobles at the Court.”
“Ah! A delightful old tradition! I’m sure that I can find something that will suit both you and your Special Somepony’s taste.” The unicorn ushered me toward one of the clear crystal display cases. “Firstly, may I ask which tribe does the recipient belong to?”
“She’s a unicorn.”
“Excellent! Horn rings work so well to enhance a mare’s sophistication and elegance.”
I rolled my eyes while he was occupied with extracting something from the case. Not that I hadn’t expected him to lay it on thick, but I certainly saw why the nobles liked him.
“Grand Vizier, let me show you something that I guarantee no other jeweler in Canterlot has in their possession.”
Sparkling Brooch levitated a black velvet box onto the countertop and opened it with a flourish. Inside was a thin, unassuming, silver-ish horn ring.
“Aluminum,” he breathed in awe. “Aluminum like you’ve never seen before.”
Behind me, Penumbra whistled.
I looked up at the proprietor and tried to sound impressed. “Wow.”
Nope. Just couldn’t manage it.
The jeweler didn’t notice. “Salvaged from the ruins of the foundry of a First Age Sorcerer-King, this is likely the only example of eighty-five percent pure aluminum in all of Equestria. Lovingly crafted into this promise ring, the lucky mare receiving this will treasure it for generations. By any measure worth its fifty thousand bit price, wouldn’t you agree?”
While the workmanship was adequate, it was evident that the lack of material had drastically limited the options available for the artist who created the ring. Frankly, it took an effort to take it seriously. If I hadn’t learned about how expensive and extremely rare pure aluminum was before an effective smelting process was invented, I would have laughed in the stallion’s face at the absurd price. Nevertheless, I sniffed an opportunity. I tapped my hoof on the crystal countertop as I smiled. “I have an alternate proposal. What if I supply you with, say, a quarter pound of aluminum and you craft a beautiful horn ring that incorporates the elements I specify. In return, you can keep the rest of the raw metal as your payment. Does that sound fair?”
Sparkling Brooch sputtered for a moment. “Are you serious?”
I nodded, smiling wider.
The fawning salespony was gone, replaced by the look of a calculating businessman. “What purity?”
I tried to remember what got mixed into aluminum alloys and couldn’t. Best to be on the safe side. “At least ninety-five percent.”
His eyes bored into mine, perhaps trying to detect some form of scam, then he held out his forehoof. “Grand Vizier, it is a pleasure doing business with you.”
As we left the Brilliant Cut, I asked my bodyguard, “What do you think? Did the aluminum come from an ancient foundry?”
Penumbra snorted. “No... or at least, not directly. Do you know where I've seen metallic aluminum before?”
I shook my head.
“At the Royal Canterlot Museum, a few of the oldest suits of armor have threads of the metal added. Commander Hurricane's breastplate is there and has a wing design added in filigree. The method to extract the aluminum from ore was lost well before even Celestia and Luna's time.”
I stopped in the middle of the street. “Have there been any recent thefts from the museum? Or fakes substituted for the real pieces.”
She smiled. “You are devious, but no. I bet that an archeologist's graduate student uncovered then hid some armor fragments. After passing through a number of hooves, the metals were recycled and given a clean provenance. Considering how little those students are paid, it's hardly surprising.” Penumbra eyed me skeptically. “I know that look. You’re scheming.”
I tried to keep my expression neutral. “I don’t know why you would think that. Just because I’ll be adding a special request to my next care package order…”
Boy, did I ever get a reaction out of Twilight when I asked her to pass on a very specific request to Sunset! I recommended she added books on metallurgy and aluminum smelting to her own list. I also advised adding one on hydroelectric power generation if she planned to produce aluminum anytime soon. She took up the suggestion, but only because she was curious about the knowledge she would gain. The adorkable nerd wasn’t the slightest bit interested in the value of the metal at all!
During the week, Penumbra asked if Steady and I wanted to go someplace special that Friday right after Day Court. Apparently, “The Anticyclone was scheduled to blow in that weekend.” My valet was more than excited, and I reluctantly agreed, even though neither of them would tell me exactly what it was.
“That’s easy,” said Steady. “It’s a surprise.”
Trixie was no help at all, just smirking when I asked. “Not really my kind of place.”
Thirty minutes before Day Court ended on Friday, Penumbra gave up her spot next to me and Far Sight took her place. I was curious, but apparently, this had been set up ahead of time, so I didn’t interrupt court proceedings to ask about it.
When the last petitioner left, my bodyguard stepped in just before the throne room doors closed. She was out of uniform and held a small purse. She raised her wings for emphasis. “So are you coming or what? If we want a good seat, you’ve got to get a move on!”
I turned to Trixie. “Last chance to tell me exactly what I’m getting into.”
She smirked. “And spoil it? Trixie thinks not.” She gave me a quick kiss and a level stare. “You have fun.”
I got the message. ‘Have too much fun at your own peril.’
I bowed. “Yes, your worship.”
She chuckled. “Plenty of time for that later. Now off with you, Dowser.” Still on her good side… for now.
I saw Penumbra was already airborne and headed for one of the staff exits. I put on some speed to catch up to her. “Just let me head back to my room to change.”
She shook her head. “Nope! You look fine. Besides, Steady and Maxi are waiting for us just outside of castle airspace. Come on!”
Penumbra nimbly wove through the columns separating the balcony from one of the many courtyards then climbed out of sight. I grumbled as I followed as best I could. Maneuverability was still a weak spot in my pegasus form. Once I rose above the castle rooftops, I saw a frowning Penumbra impatiently circling above me. A bit chagrined, I powered after her as she left the castle grounds, still heading upwards.
Two more specks approached and resolved into Steady Flight and Maximum Lift as I chased after my bodyguard. They took their places on either side of me with Penumbra in the lead perhaps thirty feet ahead of us.
Steady grinned at me. “About time you showed up. Didn’t Penumbra tell you to hurry it up a bit?”
I growled. “Forgive me if I can’t keep up with all of you quite yet.”
Maxi smiled. “No problem, Mark. Unfortunately, the bodybuilding competitions I enter don’t give any more credit for flight muscles than they do for every other one. This is pretty much my… ” She paused with a wink. “... ‘Maxi speed’.”
I rolled my eyes at the bad pun. Knowing this mare, it was doubtless the first of many to come. “So why are we still climbing? I know for a fact we are way above the highest building in town.”
In answer, the thestral mare stared forward. I saw Penumbra had leveled off her flight, and beyond her…
I whistled. What looked from below like any other cloudbank revealed its secrets once I got to this height. A sprawling resort complex made of sculpted clouds rested on top. Graceful spires and arches shifted in a gradient from dark blue to blinding white. Arching pathways connected the buildings that all rested on different levels. I could make out a four-storey-high hotel, a small stadium, several pools bathed in lights under the surface, and a large flat building covered in neon tubes that just started to light up as we approached. The sign over the entrance proudly declared The Anticyclone Bar and Grill.
As I touched down next to Penumbra, she grinned. “Don’t let the sign fool you – this place is famous for being a dance club.”
Maxi pushed her marefriend out of the way to get my attention. “Don’t listen to her. Chef Gustave Cere-nare’s cuisine is famous across Equestria.”
Penumbra flapped up onto Maxi’s back. “Yeah, since the Anticyclone travels all across Equestria, that’s kind of by definition, birdbrain.”
Maxi shrugged her off with a playful swat of a forehoof. “I’ll have you know that I have no choice but to eat a lot of protein to keep my muscles happy and body trim.”
“And of course you might as well only have the best, right?”
“I didn’t settle for anyone but you, now did I?”
They shared a kiss and a smile.
I cleared my throat before they got too distracted with each other. “I thought we were in some kind of hurry?”
Penumbra waved a forehoof. “Nah. I’m good with the maître d’. We got reservations.”
As she trotted towards the building entrance I said, “So why the big rush to get up here?”
She shrugged. “Just wanted to get the weekend started. Anything’s more fun than waiting for you to freshen up.”
I sighed and followed the mares.
Steady chortled as he jogged past me. “She’s right you know. I swear you are worse than a mare sometimes.”
I raised my head and gave my valet a glare. He just laughed and continued on ahead of me. In my head, I added a tally mark to a list I was keeping.
After Penumbra exchanged a hug and quick conversation with the well-dressed pegasus stallion at the entrance, we were shown to our table, which consisted of two red alcove benches on either side of a circular table. Each bench could fit two ponies – I suppose to allow two couples to sit next to their dates while they socialized. However, the mares got to the table first and Steady ended up sitting beside Maxi while I sat next to my bodyguard. I was curious if this was because of Penumbra’s ongoing duty to protect my person but decided not to comment.
We got our drink and food orders in early and were soon feasting on blackened trout on steamed rice accented with a spicy kale and kidney bean salad. It was delicious and reminded me of Cajun cooking back home. True to her word, Maxi ordered three servings and the wait staff somehow brought each successive plate out just after she finished the previous. The meal was made even better by Maximum Lift’s stories of the outrageous antics her fellow weightlifters got into. Between whirlwind romances, crazy superstitions, and wildly different diets and workout regimens, Steady and I were convinced the professional rivals spent more time arguing with each other than competing!
As we waited for DJ Pon-3 to set up her gear on the parquet flooring that covered the stage, talk shifted to Maxi’s plans for the future. “Actually, I’m thinking of taking a break from competing for a bit. It’s all I’ve done and all I’ve cared about for years, but now with Penumbra in my life, I’m half-tempted to borrow me a stallion who isn’t easily breakable. Maybe try my hoof at foal-rearing for a couple of years and see if there really is life outside the gym and the spotlights on the stage.” She turned to me and grinned widely, baring her rather long fangs. I noticed Steady recoil backward slightly. “So what do you think, Mr. Grand Poobah? Are you good breeding material, and more importantly, how quickly do you heal?”
I rolled my eyes. This kind of over-the-top flirtation was nothing new. “I am so tragically sorry, my dear friend. With great reluctance, I must turn down your request because of the supremely unfair social mores of this time. No matter how strongly and passionately I might desire your flanks, my high status makes me completely unattainable. However, I will remember you if a position opens up for somepony to be my personal slave and broodmare.”
That got a head shake from Maxi while Penumbra roared with laughter. After several seconds, my bodyguard calmed down enough to say, “Oh, how the tables have been turned! A brand new collar and a rubber bone for you! Fetch, girl!”
Maxi leaned towards me and closed her jaws with an exaggerated snap. Then she smiled. “I had forgotten how filthy your mind is, Mark. Still, you make a point. I just don’t rank in your social strata.”
I waved a hoof at Steady. “How about I sacrifice my loyal retainer to the cause? As long as you have him out of a full body cast and traction in a couple of months, then I’m fine with it.”
Steady frowned. “Ha, ha, Mark. Very funn-GERK!”
Maxi had interrupted his speech by pulling his lower jaw down with a hoof and was ignoring his wide-eyed panic. “Hmmmm… Good teeth. Decent muscle tone. I think this one’s a keeper.” Penumbra and I couldn’t help but laugh at Maxi’s antics.
Steady finally got Maxi’s hoof dislodged and pulled his head back with a frown. “No, I don’t think so. I try very hard to avoid the kind of excitement that puts me in the hospital.”
I smirked and erased Steady’s recently acquired tally mark in my head. “Don’t listen to him. He’s just shy and afraid to say how much he enjoys the sight of fangs.”
Both mares caught Steady’s look of terror and betrayal that he shot my way. Unfortunately for him, this delay was more than enough time for Penumbra to scoot onto the bench on his other side, trapping him between two dangerous mares. Their fangs were on full display mere inches away from his face. I could see his body shaking from across the table.
I waved a hoof. “You work with thestrals most every day, Steady. Best to use conditioning therapy to get over your irrational fears now.”
Those fears didn’t look entirely irrational as my valet sat frozen in place, his neck being licked, nuzzled, and brushed with fangs from both sides. He stammered out, “L-l-ladies. No means no!”
“Awwwwww!” Both thestrals backed off and gave each other a knowing smile.
Steady took several deep breaths while Penumbra sat back on my bench and turned to look at him. “In all honesty, Steady Flight, I have to agree with Mark. You really should get over that phobia of yours. It can only hold you back. I can recommend a few fun mares for you to meet. And they aren’t nearly as forward as the two of us.”
Maxi said, “Are you thinking of Bent Bar?”
That got her a glare. “Maxi, dear, that girl is probably three-quarters earth pony. Yeah, she’s shy except when on stage, but even I wouldn’t want to be near her hooves when she gets excited.”
“Hmmm. I suppose you’re right. Free Weights is in the bantamweight class and she’s single right now.”
“Is that the one with the… kind of dangerous fetish?”
Maximum Lift clopped a hoof to her forehead. “I forgot! Yeah, the reason she’s single is that her guy is still in the hospital. So that’s a ‘probably not’ for her, then.” For his part, Steady shuddered.
A clear tone cut through the air, which was quickly reduced in volume. All of us turned to see DJ Pon-3 look up from her keyboard and control panel, sending a test tone through each of the many speakers in turn. She had her trademark sunglasses on and her headphones covered only one ear as she evaluated each speaker’s output. Lying down on the stage near her, a willowy unicorn mare was dressed in a material that looked like liquid silver. Her horn glowed and several compact light platforms slowly orbited around her. Occasionally, a spotlight on the platforms would flash different colors or the structures would rotate on one of their axes. As I watched, one dipped below the cloud surface of the dance floor, lighting the area from below before re-emerging seconds later.
Penumbra clopped her hooves together. “I told you this would be awesome, didn’t I? This is going to be awesome!”
Let the record state that being part of a flock of happy pegasi, griffons, and thestrals flying around the dance floor to techno music while lights flashed everywhere was indeed awesome. The magic of Harmony flowed through me and everypony else that night. At times, every flyer moved in lockstep in a spiraling dance that had exactly one mind and one soul, all guided by the DJ and her music. Being able to relax my ego and join into something greater than myself was an experience I would not forget. Once again, Steady’s claim that being a pegasus was amazing was proven right.
Hours later, many of the dancers chose to stay at the resort hotel, but our foursome flew back to Canterlot. Soon I was resting in Trixie’s bed with my marefriend. She was snoring lightly, her head on my barrel. Despite the lateness of the hour and my physical exhaustion, I wasn’t quite ready to sleep. That experience was so incredible that I started making plans. I knew that functional prosthetic wings were on the list of projects Twilight’s research teams were considering. Failing that, maybe I could arrange for the return of Steady Flight-winged Trixie to join me when the Anticyclone moored itself next to Canterlot again.
Of course, I’d have to get on Steady’s good side before that could happen. Maybe I could just ignore the remaining tally marks he had left on the clipboard in my mind.
. . .
Nah.
Who am I kidding? Where’s the fun in that?
The first visit back to Ponyville since my enforced two-week stay was also the first by my new bodyguard. Up until now, I had no complaints about her unwavering dedication to her job, and I enjoyed having her around. But I had yet to reveal my secret to her and I desperately wanted to get in some flying time with Rainbow Dash. While I wasn’t in any hurry to be a mare again, the best part of my Marklestia form was its superior flight capabilities and I wanted to stretch my wings. Ditching Penumbra proved difficult, but I managed to get her to take a short break by leaving her at Friendship Castle with the promise that I’d take two of the Royal Guards with me. As they were from Twilight’s regular squad, they already knew I could shape-change, so that wasn’t a problem.
Not my fault if they couldn’t keep up with Rainbow and me!
Of course, I introduced Penumbra to all my friends. She was very puzzled when some of the townsfolk addressed me as “Your Highness”, and she questioned why they did that and why I didn’t correct them.
I grinned. “One day soon, I’ll explain the reason behind that. And trust me – nothing I have ever said has persuaded those ponies to stop calling me that, so now I just let it slide.”
She gave me a hard stare as if I was trying to pull a fast one on her, but she couldn’t see the joke. I was really looking forward to seeing the expression on her face when I showed her my best party trick once she passed her trial period.
The look on Sparkling Brooch’s face was the highlight of my day when I hoofed over the “ingots” of aluminum to him. I presume that despite his avarice, he had still been skeptical of my ability to produce the “rare” metal. The four-inch ingots were actually cut from a commercially available flat extrusion about three-quarter inches wide by three-eighths thick. The real cost was a pittance compared to its value in Equestria. I could see dreams of vast profits in the stallion’s eyes as he regarded the three shiny bars of the nearly pure metal.
“I trust that this is sufficient incentive to produce a ring worthy of my Special Somepony in an expeditious manner?” I asked haughtily.
Without taking his eyes off the aluminum, the jeweler replied, “My Lord, this will buy you my undivided attention for the next several days, and your sketch has already been approved by my head craftspony. You have my word that your commission will be treated with the utmost discretion. Nopony outside this shop will know of it until you give us permission to advertise that fact. I will inform you when the ring is ready.”
I said, “Looking forward to it!”
I admit to being surprised at how quickly the ring was completed mere days later. However, it fitted well with my plans for a special night with Trixie culminating with my formal proposal. I hastened to the Brilliant Cut to pick it up before the afternoon Day Court session. Sparkling Brooch greeted me eagerly, almost like a colt with a new toy. He ushered me over to a locked cabinet which he opened and drew forth an ornate box. Holding it up in his magic in front of me, he slowly revealed its contents.
Inside the box was a horn ring made of delicately woven silvery filigree. As I had specified, a number of stars and crescent moons floated in a wavy background that gave the piece a “Starry Night” feel. Slight color variations and the weaving of the aluminum threads between and behind the stars and moons gave a three-dimensional quality to the band that exceeded what I had imagined. I reached up to take it from its bed of crushed velvet and I could feel the lightness of the material, confirming that it was indeed aluminum. I still couldn’t feel at all thrilled about the metal, but the exquisite workmanship more than made up for it.
The shopkeeper said, “There are three different permanence spells woven into the band, plus a location spell that only activates when not worn. I hope this heirloom meets with your satisfaction?”
I smiled at the stallion. “Sparkling Brooch, I am very pleased with your workmanship and I am satisfied with our deal. If you would please provide me with the papers for it, I will be on my way.”
“Certainly, My Lord, and it has been a distinct delight to do business with you.”
After we concluded everything and I started to head for the door, I said, “If my Special Somepony is happy with my proposal, perhaps I’ll return to get a wedding ring.”
Brooch’s eyes gleamed at the thought. “Perhaps a companion piece for the promise ring with the same business arrangement?” he asked hopefully.
I laughed. “What? Do you think I can just pick up some more aluminum at the local store? Have a good day, sir!”
I should have felt more relaxed. After all, Trixie had already made her feelings quite clear. But as Day Court closed on Friday and we headed out of the throne room, I felt a whole flock of butterflies in my stomach. Trixie and I parted ways to go to our rooms to freshen up before dinner, but I made sure to get down to the dining room before her. I checked with the wait-staff to ensure that everything that I had prepared earlier was ready. Then it was just a matter of waiting for Trixie to turn up.
When my Special Somepony arrived, I gave her a kiss and said, “I’ve arranged to have our meal out in the courtyard this evening. I thought it would make for a nice change.”
Trixie raised an eyebrow but smiled in return. “That does sound nice. Lead on, Bark Yells.”
It was a simple matter of opening one of the sets of glass doors to get to the courtyard which was enclosed by trellis fencing that was covered in blooming wisteria. Some branches also grew along wires overhead to give us dappled shade from the late afternoon sun. Competing with the wisteria on one side of the courtyard were vines of a familiar grape variety. I had playfully nicknamed it “Trixie’s Victory” and this never failed to get a cute blush from my marefriend, even before I had asked her to be such. Glancing over, I saw that just a knowing look was needed to cause the same effect. The gentlest of breezes carried the scent of the flowers through the courtyard. A small table with a sky blue tablecloth had been set up with just two place settings. Unlike most other evenings, we would be dining by ourselves tonight, and I had made sure that our guards were discreetly placed out of sight.
Trixie’s smile grew wider as I held a chair out for her. She sat down and I then took my place on the other side of the table.
“I’ve arranged a special menu for tonight. I hope you approve,” I said.
“If it’s as pleasant as this arrangement, I’m sure I will.”
I signaled to the waiting servant. She nodded and left the courtyard, returning promptly with the first course on a serving trolley. Two bowls of pumpkin soup with sweet potato and goat’s cheese garnished with parsley were set before us and then the waitress left the courtyard.
Trixie sniffed the aroma of the soup and her eyebrows rose. “Trixie is a pony of simple tastes, but this intrigues me.”
“It’s from a recipe that my mother used to make for special occasions.”
“And this is such an occasion?”
“Patience, dear. Try the soup.”
She levitated a spoonful to her lips and cautiously tasted it. Judging by how she tucked into the rest with gusto, I reckoned she approved.
The rest of the meal was similarly exciting, but the desserts came with one additional covered tray. I refused to let Trixie see what was under it until we finished the sweets. When the servant had removed the dishes, she left the courtyard and closed the doors behind her, giving us privacy. Only then did I remove the cover to reveal a small box which I picked up and brought over to Trixie. I squatted on my haunches and opened the lid of the box to reveal the ring that I had commissioned.
“Trixie Lulamoon, would you do me the honor and joy of marrying me?” I asked as I gazed at her.
Her eyes widened and she gaped in shock for a moment, then her face lit up and she squealed in delight. “A promise ring! Oh, how delightfully traditional of you, Dowser!” The ring levitated out of the box to hover in front of her nose. It rotated as she examined it closely before it rose up, slipped over her horn, and settled into place. She smiled and said, “It’s beautiful. I accept your proposal.” She then leaned forward and passionately kissed me.
As I stood up, she clopped her hooves together. “Eeeeeee! I can’t wait to tell my mother! Who knows? Maybe this will convince her to travel to Canterlot.”
I blinked. “Seriously? She hasn’t visited you since you took the throne?”
“Or even answered my letters. She’s still expressing her displeasure about my choice to become a showmare like my father after paying to get me through Celestia’s school. Trixie is somewhat impressed that she’s still holding onto her grudge until I come home to apologize. For her, it is a matter of principle. But don’t worry yourself.” She gave me a peck on the cheek. “At some point, we’ll reconcile. Being passionate runs in my family and I accept that.”
“You mean ‘being stubborn and unreasonable.’ ”
“Yes, that’s what I said. I do love how you always understand me so well.” Trixie got up from the table and shared a longer, deeper kiss.
After we finally parted, I grinned and said, “I look forward to seeing the reaction of the nobles at Day Court next week.”
Trixie shook her head. “Oh, no – I can’t wear it to Court.”
I was stunned by that totally unexpected reaction. “But… why not?”
“By long-standing tradition, royalty does not announce a promise to marry until shortly before the wedding. Most preparations are made in secret until then. If you had been around at the time Princess Cadance married Shining Armor, you would not have heard of their impending wedding until two weeks before the event.”
I stared in disbelief. “I don’t get it. Why do you do that?”
“There are many reasons – some complicated and others trivial. There are those who would take advantage of the impending nuptials, whether it be political, social, or financial. It can be disruptive to the business of running the kingdom. There are also those who would see your role as Grand Vizier being biased due to our relationship.”
“But that would still be true after we’re married!” I objected.
“But you would be a prince then and my equal, so their arguments would be invalid.”
I blinked. “Wait. What? Why would I get a crown? I thought I’d be your consort or something?”
Trixie smirked and replied, “By Equestrian law, you acquire the same rank as your spouse. That is why Shining Armor is a prince. Now do you see why we give the nobility and others so little time to object or maneuver to take advantage?”
I frowned. “I also see the fruits of your and Twilight’s efforts to give me even more responsibility for the welfare of Equestria .”
She waved a hoof airily. “A purely coincidental side effect… probably.”
“Mmm-hmm. Sure it is,” I replied sulkily, knowing I had been outmaneuvered again. “But I really wanted to see you wearing that ring.”
My fiancée nuzzled me. “I will wear it whenever there are only those about who know of our relationship and can be trusted not to tell. I, too, look forward to the day that we formally announce the wedding and I will proudly show it off. It’s a beautiful ring.” She levitated the filigree band off of her horn and placed it on her hoof to examine it. “And so light, too. What is it made of?”
“Almost pure aluminum,” I answered and waited for her reaction.
Trixie gasped. “What! It can’t be! So much precious metal must have cost an insane amount. I did not think this much aluminum existed in Equestria. Did you melt down Commander Hurricane's armor? As much as I loved the surprise, I would have preferred if you had told me first. Still, this gesture was so romantic that Trixie is—”
I was horrified. “No! I would never do that to a priceless Equestrian artifact!”
She paused and then gave me a hard look. “Where did you get the aluminum?”
“I… ah… have connections.”
She frowned. “Do you mean that it came from that human world?”
There was no fooling Trixie. I gulped and nodded.
“And how rare is aluminum there?”
“It’s… not. But I wanted to give you something unique for a simple promise ring!” I objected.
“Simple and cheap, you mean!”
I was starting to get annoyed. I tried to keep it out of my voice. “This ring was made by the finest jewelers I could find. It’s probably more valuable than any given wing of the palace.”
She looked it over critically. “Trixie agrees that the craftsmanship is first-rate. Its value in Equestrian bits indeed would be difficult to calculate.” She gave me a level stare. “Or at least until Twilight Sparkle reproduces the method to create the raw metal in huge quantities. Is Trixie correct on this?”
Trixie had switched back to the third person. That was not a good sign.
She nodded and placed the ring back on her horn. “As Trixie suspected. Did you pay for the craftsmanship with bits or was it part of the barter agreement?”
“The latter,” I admitted.
“And what was the equivalent in Equestrian bits that you paid altogether?”
I crossed my forehooves. “I know when to keep my ‘fool mouth’ shut.”
She held up a hoof. “Trixie… I apologize for my past actions when I struck you… down there. My reaction was uncalled for.”
I was not done grousing. “Or at least until your ‘passionate’ nature causes the same thing to happen.”
She shook her head. “That was no excuse. Trixie swears that she will not do that again.”
I waited a bit and then nodded.
My marefriend arched an eyebrow. “So then. A hundred gold bits? More?”
I paused for several seconds then sighed.
“Less? Twenty gold bits? Ten?”
I shuffled uncomfortably.
Her eyes went wide. “One gold bit?”
I did some math in my head. “Less than a silver bit.”
She stared open-mouthed then broke out in laughter, pounding the floor. “Oh, by Celestia! No wonder you don’t like Flim and Flam! They are such rank amateurs compared to you, Aardvark Expels.”
I frowned as I waited for her to stop laughing. I had wanted to leave the twins in prison forever as an example to fraudsters everywhere, but Trixie offered them a plea bargain. In return for public service work and putting pony names to every one of the numerical transactions in their ledgers, they had a chance to work off their debt to society. At night, they slept in their cells. By day, they scanned magazines and newspapers in the Department of the Treasury, ferreting out schemes and questionable business practices. In return for each scam they uncovered, the Treasury provided restitution to their victims. Their ability to sniff out cons was almost supernatural, but it would still be years before they completed their obligation to the kingdom.
Once I was sure Trixie was paying attention again I said, “I’m sorry you don’t like the ring.”
“Oh, but I do like it! It will forever remind me of how shrewd a stallion you are, which is one of the reasons I love you. But cheap is still cheap. Trixie expects better of her future husband. Good night, Shark Smells!” She stalked off regally, leaving my plans for a romantic evening shattered.
Sighing sadly, I trudged out of the courtyard. I found Penumbra waiting for me outside of the dining hall.
“Well? How did it go?”
“She accepted my proposal,” I replied.
“Then why did she just leave here by herself and you look like someone died?”
“It seems she was unimpressed by the aluminum. She figured out where it came from in nothing flat.”
“I thought she’d do that.”
I stopped and stared at the mare. “You knew that Trixie wouldn’t like it? Why didn’t you say something?”
“My job is to keep your cute bod safe, not mess with your relationships. Besides, you never did ask my opinion about the ring.”
She was right – I had outsmarted myself. So here I was with a brand new fiancée and I was already in the dog house. Crap.
I didn’t get to spend the night with Trixie for a week, but she always wore the ring when in private. I’ll take my wins where I can.
The knock on my door this morning was fifteen minutes early, as I had requested the previous night. “Come in.”
A smiling Penumbra stepped into my room. Steady was busy laying out my attire for the day.
“Would you close the door, please?”
Her grin grew to epic proportions as she did so. “Ah! So here’s where we find out if two moderate-size stallions can equal one thestral bodybuilder. Bring it on, colts!”
I rolled my eyes and I heard Steady snort. “I don’t think I want to find out how long either of us would survive the aftermath. No, but thanks for offering.”
That got a laugh out of my bodyguard. “Oh, you’d be surprised how generous my Maxi can be… sometimes.”
I smiled. I could never seem to get in the last word with her because of her quick wit. Time to get down to business.
“First of all, congratulations on becoming my permanent bodyguard. Your probationary period is officially over.”
Penumbra gave me a theatrical and very smooth bow, complete with wing flourish. She then stood back up and waited.
“There’s something you need to know so you are prepared in case I have to use my special talent to defend myself. This is considered a state secret, not to be shared with anypony outside of my, Twilight’s, and Trixie’s personal guard detail.” I changed into my long-maned Marklestia body, posing regally but taking care to keep my cutie mark visible. “Also, I take this form most of the time when I visit Ponyville.”
Penumbra’s mouth opened in shock for a second before she recovered, showing an even bigger fanged grin than before. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any sexier.”
I blinked and pulled my head back. Then it was my turn to recover and I glared at her.
Penumbra was rolling on the floor, her hooves flailing in the air. “Your face! The look on your face!” She went back to laughing uproariously.
I turned to Steady for help, but he was no use. “It was a good try, Mark. At this point, you should just give up on getting the better of her.”
I sighed as I reverted to my normal form. It looked like pulling successful pranks on my new bodyguard might be a challenge way beyond my ability.
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