//------------------------------//
// Chapter Seven - New Life 
// Story: Fairlight - To the Edge of Midnight 
// by Bluespectre 
//------------------------------//


CHAPTER SEVEN 

NEW LIFE


I sank with a heartfelt groan into the steaming water. The royal guard had an amazing bath house alright. Clean, well maintained, and always kept at the perfect temperature, I could feel the tension in my body simply melting away, replaced in its stead with pure, unadulterated relaxation. It didn’t get any better than this. I suppose that all in all my first mission had been a complete success. It may not have gone according to plan of course, but ‘adapt and improvise’ as my old tutor in the watch had always said. And we had. When we arrived through the portal, Hedgerow had been met by his tearful wife, Hatty, and both they and their hitchhiking cat, Poppy, had toddled off into the sunset together. As for myself I’d dropped off my armour with the very unhappy looking armourer, put my tunic and cloak in for washing, had a shower, and was now enjoying the fruits of my labour. Yes, both Zip Line and I had done a damned good job today. Speaking of whom, I wondered where she’d disappeared off to? I’d expected some level of debriefing for us both, but by the looks of things the royal guard was surprisingly lacking in that kind of protocol. Heaven forbid they actually trusted you to do your job without persistent monitoring! I chuckled to myself and let my body float up to the surface, closing my eyes in absolute bliss. No, here I had the impression the guard recruited ponies who already knew their stuff. They gave them a mission, and took the approach that they were perfectly capable of figuring out the rest themselves. A bit strange if you asked me, but it seemed to work. After a fashion. I still couldn’t believe we’d gone out there with so little information though. Surely there had to be some checks and balances in place, right? I mean, what would happen if a team went out there and actually failed to bring back the soul? What was going to happen then? I sighed; I still had a lot to learn about my new home from home. And on the subject of home… Oh, Celestia, I’d better get out and face the music, hadn’t I? Just, after a few more minutes here. Goddesses, the water was so warm…

“I’ve had it with these bucking cretins! HAD IT!”  

The shouts of outrage made me jump, which is not exactly the best thing to do when you’re drifting in the middle of a bath, and I nearly choked on a mouthful of water. A stream of expletives followed from the area of the changing room and was, rather thankfully, drowned out by the sound of the shower. Despite the echoing quality of the bathroom area it was all too clear who the shouting was coming from. If I’d had any sense I would have gotten out right then and there, dried off, and escaped as soon I’d recognised the voice. But no, being the sort of muggins that I am I decided to wait in the bath for the inevitable. And a few minutes later, in she came…

“I wondered if you’d be here.” Zip Line sank into the water and let out a sigh. “Lousy, rotten, corrupt, useless...” Her words bubbled under the water with her muzzle before bursting out once more, “Damn it! I can’t enjoy a bath when I’m in a state. Buck it all! I’m going back for another shower.”

“Zippy? What’s happened?” I leaned against the side of the bath and smiled up at her with what I hoped was a reassuring expression. “Where’ve you been?”

“I’ll tell you where I’ve been, I‘ve been speaking to that horse’s arse, Argo,” came the reply. “You remember? The arsehole of an officer who is ‘supposed’ to be in charge of operations? Ha! My hoof he is!”

“Argo seems to be quite a decent sort to me,” I replied honestly.

“Yes… yes he would, wouldn’t he,” Zip Line snorted. “Senior officer and all that, what with you being a Captain and all, right?”

“Wrong.” I rose up and fixed her with a stare. “I’m not like that at all, Zip Line. I don’t give a toss what rank somepony is, nor do I have any time nor care for the kind of cack-hoofed management that can put their teams safety at risk. If somepony has messed up here then they need to be told. No ifs, no buts, no pussyfooting around. But don’t ever, ever, lump me in with that lot. Okay?”

The black and white mare watched me with her large blue eyes. What she was thinking, I had no idea. Those searching orbs were seeing something, or looking for something, but whether she liked what she saw, who could say. If she knew me, truly knew me, she would run from this place as though the keeper of the underworld himself were biting at her ankles. And she would be right to do so. Mercifully for us both she kept her peace and turned back to stalking around the edge of the bath, leaving me to resume my now not so relaxing soak. I knew so little about mares, and those I did know I always seemed to end up making miserable. Meadow, Shadow, Tingles - every one of them a mare I loved, and every one of them had suffered because of me. I was a fool, a gambler of lives, and a puppet of the gods. I was under no illusion that I had any true say in my destiny. Time and experience had shown me that no matter what choices I made, no matter how hard I fought and railed against the world, it was already planned out one careful hoof before the other. The murder of my family, my unholy blending with the Wither World spirit, even the fight with the changelings. Everything, all of it right down to the very finest of details, was all pre-ordained. Fated. Woven out into a tapestry on the dark mare’s loom like so much cloth. My view of the world was based upon need, for me and my family. But what use was a lord without a home to rule? I was the lord of the four winds, the lord of an empire of no more than snow, rocks and ice. A lord who was no longer in the land of the living was a lord no more. I was the lord of nothing. And for me, for Fairlight Loam… the thread had run out long ago.

I pulled myself from the comforting embrace of the water and dried off before putting on my off duty tunic and cloak. My own clothes I had packed in a pannier along with my self esteem. I hadn’t felt like this in some time, and facing the reality of my situation was something I didn’t relish one little bit. I brushed my teeth and stared into the mirror at the brown eyed creature peering back at me. Gone were the scars, the bright blue eyes that glowed with an inner light that made so many back away from me in fear, and as for my cutie mark… yeah. The strange lightning flash that I’d become so accustomed to was now the same old one that I’d been ‘blessed with’ when I was a mere colt. ‘Give us a clue’ eh? Ha! How right she’d been too. I looked like the old me, the young me, yet inside, deep down in the very core of my being, was something I couldn’t quite put my hoof on. It was hard to describe in words, but was akin to an echo, or a memory of the Fairlight I became, locked away and resisting any attempt to bring it to the fore. In some ways I was afraid of it, terrified of becoming the monstrous creature I would change into when I channelled the magic of the wendigo and letting my anger, my fury at the world, have full rein once more. In other ways, guilty ways, I longed for it, to let it absorb me, to consume me, to become the lord or the four winds once more and fly high over the mountains singing the song of war, to smite my enemies and scream the cry of the northern winters out to the farthest corners of Equestria. 

“Dear goddess...” I leaned my hoof against the mirror and hung my head as despair threatened to take me into that darkest of places, just as it had so many times before. “Who am I?”

“That’s what I’d like to know.”

I didn’t look up. I knew that voice and I didn’t want to have a conversation with her right now. Not now. “Zip… please.”

“Please what?” Zip Line continued adjusting her wings beside me as she spoke. “Don’t ask you who you really are?” She sniffed, “I heard what the princess called you. Fairlight.”

“What does it matter?” I said wearily. “There are a lot of ponies here who don’t divulge their past, or their true names.”

“I think it matters when we’re a team,” Zip Line said. “It’s about trust, bonding, brotherhood, and all that army stuff the higher ups pumped into us when we were in the land of the living. As much I can’t stand a lot of that tripe, some of it still holds true. And honesty, is one of them.”

“Even when you’ve hardly known me five minutes?” I asked. “Forgive me, but I don’t know you well enough to start spewing out my innermost secrets to a stranger.”

“A stranger?!” Zip Line balked. “We went through a bloody nightmare back there together, Corny, or Fairlight, or whatever the hell you want to call yourself. And in the middle of it, up pops one of the princesses like she’s your best mate or something, and you expect me to act as though that’s perfectly normal, right? The ‘goddess of the moon’ as you called her means something here my grey friend, don’t you realise that?”

“No.” I moved away from the sink and adjusted my gear. “A name is just a name.”

“No it’s not!” the black mare hissed. “The ‘goddess of the moon’, or ‘moon goddess’, was what the children of the night called her! And… and those other things too.”

“‘Other’ things?” I asked.

The mare nodded. “Yeah, the… the wendy-wotsits and those walking bone bags. Thestrals or something.”

I’d had enough of this. “Zip Line, what do you want from me?” I asked testily. “We went on a mission together and we worked well as a team. That’s all there is to it. Please, don’t push this, okay? Not now.”

“But-”

“But nothing!” I snapped. “Listen, we… we can talk another time, okay? Just... not tonight. Please.”

Zip Line neighed quietly and flicked her tail in irritation. In truth I expected her to yell at me or storm out. Instead she gave a look that made my heart throb with regret at how I’d spoken to her. “Corny, I’m sorry.” She turned away, asking, “I’m going to the bar. Do want to come and have a drink with me?”

I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry, Zippy. I have to go home.”

“I see...” she shrugged. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow then. Have a safe trip home.”

“Goodnight.” I lifted my hoof to wave but she’d already left. 

Fantastic, another hurt mare to add to the list. Luna’s fetlocks, what was it with me? And why the hell had they teamed me up with a mare in the first place? At least with guys you didn’t have all those emotions to deal with. Most of the time. A stallion was more likely to tell you to piss off rather than go into the emotional explorations of your innermost psyche which a lot of the mares I’d met had a penchant for. But… was I being entirely fair? Gods damn it! I had to stop thinking like this or I’d drive myself to insanity before I knew it. And now I felt like a gin and tonic for some reason! Sod it… should I? No. Bugger it all, I’d have to go home and face the music with Meadow. If she didn’t slam the door in my face first of course. I groaned and trotted out to the front desk where I signed myself out for the evening. Oblivious to my internal conflicts the desk officer just waved a hoof at me, far more interested in reading his novel than keeping a check on the comings and goings of the guard. It was time to go home now in any case, and see what delights awaited me when I grovelled my way in through the front door.

The journey back was typically uneventful. It was dark, cool, and full of the sounds of the night that you became used to living in the countryside. In the distance a fox called, echoed by the song of a night jay. A bat flew crazily overhead on its journey to wherever, no doubt plucking some tasty moths out of the sky on its way. I envied the tiny thing its simple life. It had no worries save catching a meal on the wing to cause it concern, and certainly none of the troubles I had, many of which I would have to admit were of my own making. But what could I do to put things right? I didn’t know, but apologising was a good start. After that… who could say. I was so wrapped up in my melancholic thoughts that I nearly walked into the hedge when I reached home. Strange… The cottage was in complete darkness, with not even the lamp in the hallway burning to help me find the door. I tried the handle - it was locked. Meadow must have gone to bed early. I leaned down and moved the strategically placed plant pot to retrieve the spare key. At least that was still there. Magicking up my flame to help me locate the lock I inserted the key, and turned it. The door opened smoothly and quietly, thanks to my diligent oiling of all things hinge related, and I let myself in, careful not to wake anypony up. The first thing that hit though was the cold - it was freezing in here! I quickly lit the lamp in the hallway and walked into the kitchen. A cup of tea would hit the spot, and go at least some way to warming me up. It was unusual to find the house so cold though. Meadow and Sparrow must have gone to bed really early for it to be this chilly, unless they’d simply not bothered lighting the fire. I glanced up at the clock: it was twenty past eleven already. Good goddesses, I hadn’t realised how late it was! I put the kettle on the stove and soon had a small fire going to boil the water. The stove had been stone cold; something quite unusual in itself. Normally the thing was kept lit to help provide hot water to heat the rooms, water for washing, baths, and our daily showers. To find it this cold made my mane twitch. Something was wrong here... very wrong. A sudden flash of memory seared through my mind, a memory of a grinning yellow stallion with a greasy black mane leaning over… I gave myself a shake and snorted loudly, shattering the vile memory back into the depths from whence it came. I looked around the kitchen at the beautiful place my beloved wife and I had built together. The plate racks made of oak, the weathered table in the centre of the room, and even the cupboards. Everything was neat, clean, and looked like I would expect. Only… empty. I ran my hoof over the table, past the cruet set, the empty fruit bowl, and the piece of folded paper sitting inside it. My heart lurched in my chest. I closed my eyes for a moment and listened to the ticking of the clock, the water starting to boil in the kettle, and my thundering heart. Carefully, I unfolded the paper and immediately recognised Meadow’s neat, flowing hoof writing.  

Fairlight,

Gone to stay with Mum for a few days.

Meadow.     

And that was that. No ‘love’, not even an ‘x’ after the name. What wasn’t said in the painfully short missive was how long she was going to be away for. Nor how angry or hurt she was. That much was all too clear already and cut me to the very core. I put the note away and turned to stare at the steam coming from the kettle. So… she’d left me. I shouldn’t be surprised, should I? Sure, it was only for a ‘few days’, but I’d hurt her more than I’d ever done before. I closed my eyes as a shiver ran through my body, sending a shock of cold and bitter pain into my heart. I loved her. I loved my wife and daughter so, so much, and yet I’d hurt them once again. It didn’t matter that I was in the herd, sunning myself beneath a perfect sky on one of the endless, perfect days. I had failed her. Failed all of them. I took the kettle off the stove and damped down the fire. I couldn’t stomach a cup of tea now anyway. 

I walked around the house in a daze, taking in the paintings on the walls, the clock, the bathroom, the dining room, lounge… all of it. It was dark, cold and empty. There was nothing here now. No Meadow, no Sparrow, no love, light and laughter, that together changed what would normally be a simple building into a home where a family were protected, and just as importantly, cared for one another. Goddess forgive me. I collected my panniers from the back of the chair and settled them onto my back. I didn’t want to stay here now. Without Meadow and Sparrow it felt like I didn’t belong here any more. Was I being foolish? Perhaps. Selfish? Probably. I’d never pretended to be perfect. I was who I was, and I wasn’t even sure of that now. Not now. I let out a loud sigh and rubbed my face with my foreleg. I felt terrible. With leaden hooves I dragged my miserable carcase to the door and took one last look into the darkness. Home… My home. Our home. And I had destroyed it all with my cursed diseased mind. Goddesses above, you had to laugh! The door closed behind me with a hollow thump, the lock clicking into place as I slid the spare key back under the plant pot. Perhaps one day love would bloom here once again, but tonight... I had to get away from here. And there was only one place I knew I could go.


******************
  

“Hey! Look who it is!”

“Dunno, ‘oo is ‘e?”

“It’s our new boy, Corny, you muppet!” The black mare waved a hoof at me enthusiastically. “Hoy, dreary lugs, come and have a pint with yer old mukka!”

The barracks tavern was in full swing. A band sat on the small stage playing a lively number incorporating a lute, some type of violin, and a drum, whilst a mare span round in a lithe flowing dress adding a tambourine to the number which had several inebriated patrons trying to join in. The girl drifted between them, nimbly avoiding the occasional drunkard fancying their chances at a quick grope. Good old drink. By the gods it really did bring out the worst in ponies. And by the same gods, did I need one right then…

“C’mon, c’mon, getcha raggedy arse down in that chair my fine stallion.” Zip Line’s eyes were unfocussed and she hiccuped loudly, “Oops! Better get that one sorted...” I’ve never seen a mare sink a full mug of ale in one draught so fast in my life, but by thunder she made it look so easy! “Hoy, barkeep, another round!” Zip Line already had a number of full mugs on the table but wasn’t reserved about sharing. “We’re on...” She frowned in thought. “Fret, what the hell are we drinkin’ ‘ere?” 

The carrot coloured stallion with green eyes and a yellow and green striped mane whom I’d seen burping in time to the music when I’d first walked in, shrugged, “Buggered if I know. Goat Face’s Old Piss, I reckon.”

“Ha, ha! Now that’s what I’m taking about!” Zip Line waved a hoof at me, a stupid grin plastered over her face. “There ya go, Corny, get that down yer neck.” She burped loudly, “Another flagon of goat piss for me old matey boy ‘ere!”

“This fella. This, this ‘Corny’ bloke. E’ the one you been goin’ on about?” the carrot coloured stallion asked in a belching spray of beer. “’E looks a bit… grey. Yeah, like a pissin’ cloud ‘o gloom ‘e does!”

“That’s ‘cos ‘e ‘asn’t ‘ad enough beer yet, you dong.” Zip Line bopped her empty mug on the stallion’s muzzle before turning her attention on me. “Don’t you pay no attention to Fret Board ‘ere, Corn… Corny. He’s… urp -fit shaced.” She swallowed a grin along with a fresh mug of beer. “He wouldn’t ‘urt a fly, would ya, Fretty?”

“Nah.” Fret Board clopped the rump of a passing barmaid who shot him a look that would have withered me. “Eh, Corny, you got a missus?” he asked. 

I nodded, taking a swig of my own beer. “Aye. Wife and… kids.”

“’Ad to think about that one, didn’t ‘e Zippy?!” Fret burst out laughing. “’Ow’s was yer first day then lad? Ole Zip keep yer in line did she?”

“She did,” I replied with a smile. I scooted the bowl of peanuts over and took a hoofful of the salty things, munching them down as fast as I could cram them in. How come they always tasted best when you were drinking? Normally I couldn’t abide the bloody things as a rule. Right now  though they were like the food of the gods themselves. “She’s a good teacher,” I offered.

“Uh-huh, I bet she is!” Fret chuckled and gave Zip Line a wink. “There’s a few ‘ood like a few lessons from ‘er alright.”

Good grief! Ignoring the suggestive comment I finished off my beer and started in on the next in the seemingly endless line up. ‘Goat Piss’ or not it was good too, and before I knew it the next one had disappeared. 

“Cor, you can put ‘em away mate!” Zip Line belched in my ear, sending a blast of beery breath over my muzzle. “You’ll be catchin’ up to me soon. I’d better ‘ave anoth… another...” The black mare flopped onto the table and, to my amazement, actually started snoring!

“Huh, lightweight.” Fret gave me a wink. “Come on then, tell us. D’ya fancy ‘er or wot?”

“Who, Zippy?” I felt a chuckle escape my lips. “She’s cute, but I’m a married stallion.”

“Bah! What the eye don’t see is what I say.” The drunken old salt leaned across to me conspiratorially. “Look ‘ere lad. If’n yer don’t have a dally now an’ again, yer old pecka will likelys shrivel up. You get me?”

I nodded, “I get you.”

“So, go on then!” he announced, leaning back in his chair. “Get yerself in there!”

I laughed his behaviour off with another mug beer, wielding the thing like a shield against the bad breath that emanated from the old soak like a fog. “Maybe later,” I joked. “When she’s sobered up.”

“Oh, come on, son.” The stallion threw up his forehooves. “Give ‘er a tickle or two an’ she’ll be putty in yer ‘ooves. Don’t you worry, I know Zip Line and she’s a gal of the world, she is. Gal of the...” He took a breath and shrugged. “Yeah...”

“Yeah.” I stared into my beer before chugging it back. Fret seemed like a raving pervert to me, but it was clear the two ponies sat with me knew each other well, so who was I to complain about the company a friend kept? Some of my own friends were boisterous to say the least, but not so much on this scale. Gods, I think I must be getting old when I miss sitting by the log fire sipping spirit berry brandy with Grimble, and even Heather the massive minotaur barmaid. Somehow I couldn't imagine anypony trying to grab her rear. It was be a bloodbath.

“What’s the joke?” Fret asked woozily.

“I was just thinking what it would be like having minotaurs as barmaids,” I laughed. “Don’t think they’d have any trouble getting through this mob.”

“Yer got that right!” Fret nodded furiously. “You ever met ‘em?”

“What, Minotaurs?” I asked. “Yeah, I’ve met a few.”

“Weird things is what they are,” the stallion nodded half to himself. “’alf bull, ‘alf summat else. ‘ad to tangle wiv ‘em a few times me self.”

“In the guard?” I asked.

“Nah.” Fret shook his head. “When we was with twelfth batt- urp- alion. Got in a scrape up nears Ponters Pike. Or sumfin, I forgets where.” He shrugged and took another swig. “Come at us all snortin’ and bellowin’ like. Eye’s like coal they were, all full o’hate an’ stuff.” He gave me a toothy grin. “Axe’s as big as an ‘ouses they ‘ad. Could cleave you in twain an’ not break a sweat neither.” 

I leaned forward, fascinated. “Ponters Pike? Was that in the war with the Legion and Nightmare Moon?”

“Legion?” Fret barked out a thunderous laugh that had several other guards peering over at us. “No bloody Legion pussies there, boy! Nah, we was wif the real army. The army o’ the Golden Dawn!” I swallowed another mouthful of my beer and waggled my hoof to encourage him to carry on. “We was with the king and queen o’ the unicorn nation, y’see. We ‘ad magic, real magic, an’ we ‘ad some damned fine ossifers too. Damned fine! Urp!” 

“I’ve never heard of the Golden Dawn,” I said honestly. 

“You wouldn’t ‘ave lad, you wouldn’t ‘ave.” He shrugged sadly and sank another mugful of beer. “Long time ago that, see. Long time. Aye...”

“Hey, I love this tune! Come on Corny, come and have a dance with me!” I nearly choked as the now apparently completely sober Zip Line shot up from her seat like a cork from a bottle and grabbed me. “Let’s shake a tail my wendy-wotsit buddy.”

“Wendy-?” I groaned, “Zippy, please...”

“No use when she’s got ‘er ‘ead, boy,” Fret chuckled lasciviously. “You’ll find out. Aye… you’ll find out.” 

Before I knew it I was half dragged, half carried by my own momentum, right into the centre of what was a chaos of hooves, tossing heads, and neighing off duty guards. The music was a riot of flute, drum and tambourine, all blending into a whirling maelstrom of life that I hadn’t felt in an age. Like the beer it was completely intoxicating, and I quickly found myself drunkenly flailing around with the black coated mare and acting like some hormonally driven colt. And it felt good… It felt really good!

“Having a good time?” Zip Line laughed.

“Hell yeah!” I shouted.

I span, bumped rumps with her, and laughed aloud with the sheer joy of it all. Sure, why couldn’t I enjoy myself? I’d been through a mission with my new partner and we’d saved a pony’s soul from an end that was quite literally unthinkable. After all that why the hell shouldn’t I let my mane down and enjoy a dance? Right then, lost in the rapture of the driving musical tempest, laughing and dancing, my troubles were the last thing on my mind. Things would work themselves out somehow. One way or another, they always did. And so Zip Line and I let ourselves flow with the beat of the drum, swinging, stomping, and shouting out our sheer love of life. Herd or no herd, this was how a pony was supposed to live: singing, dancing, and enjoying the company of others, not fighting and struggling for a populace that barely even noticed you existed. But for those whose duty was to protect them, for those of us who saw dedication, loyalty and self sacrifice as their calling, this, all of this, was what made it all worthwhile. 

Finally, spent and utterly exhausted, I flopped against the bar breathing hard. Zip Line collapsed next to me, her eyes burning like blue fires in the darkness. “You okay?” she breathed.

I nodded weakly. “I am. Don’t know about you though!”

She shoved me playfully, panting to get her breath back. “Hey, you don’t dance too badly for a dead guy.”

“You don’t yourself,” I joked, “for a dead mare.”

Zip Line laughed, “Pfff! Dead on my hooves you mean. Sod it, fancy another?”

Strangely enough, I did. “Yeah, why the hell not. Think I’ll have a rum and cola for a change.”

“Ooh! Hard stuff now is it?” she laughed.

“Nah, just reaching the fill level.” I frowned in thought for a moment. “Come to think of it, I’d better use the little colts room.”

“Out the door and the bogs are on your left.”

“You’ll do for me squire!” I clopped her on the shoulder. “Keep an eye on my drink ‘til I get back, Zippy, yeah?”

“Sure. See you in a min.”

Ah, what a night! The fresh breeze was deliciously cooling against my hide and brought a smile to my face as well as a spring in my step. Before I knew it the old soldiers song I remembered from listening to the old gang in the Wyvern’s Tail flowed from me as well as you could imagine from an alcohol soaked stallion on his way to the latrine.

Oh, I knew a pony his name was Red,
he had five legs and a purple head.
The girls all cried went he to town,
“What’s that long thing dragging on the ground?!”

Oh, Red, Red, fearless in bed. The five legged pony with a purple head!

Oh, that’s my fifth leg, said the soldier bold,
It gets like that when it’s feeling cold.
It shrivels up when I’m in the tub,
But jumps right up when it gets a rub!

Oh, Red, Red, fearless in bed. The five legged pony with a purple head.

Oh, the maidens vied to obtain this prize,
A great big beast of enormous size.
It grew and grew from between his thighs,
the soldiers leg that could split the sky!

Oh, Red, Red, fearless in bed, the married ones whinny when they see his head!

“Whoops!” I’d inadvertently collided with a dark coloured stallion who was leaving the latrine. “Sorry ‘bout that, mate.”

The fellow frowned angrily, brushing the front of his uniform like I’d contaminated him or something. “Tch! Watch where you’re going, stallion.” He leaned towards me, his deep yellow eyes staring into mine curiously. “Who are you? I don’t recognise you.”

“Fa-” I leaned back and shook my head and, foolishly, my hoof too. “Nope! No, the name’s… um...”

“You can’t even remember your own name?” The stallion’s eye’s grew wide with amazement. I couldn’t blame him I suppose. I was a mess. 

“No! Yes!” I stammered, trying to catch the elusive memory as it slipped from my mental grasp. “I mean… I’m trying, I just can’t...”

“Well it’s no wonder you can’t,” the stallion snorted, “you reek of drink.”

“Now I say old boy,” I blathered happily, “You look like the kind of fellow who could make a flag pole look like it’s got brewers droop, so would mind awfully pissing off out of my way? One needs a piss, don’t you know.”

“Why you arrogant pup!” The stallion’s eyes narrowed dangerously as I moved to push past him. “Don’t you know who you’re talking to?”

“Well, let’s see...” I tapped my chin in thought. “Do you know who I am?” 

“That’s what I’m trying to find out, you blithering idiot!” The chestnut-ish coloured fellow seemed quite agitated for some reason. And then, for whatever peculiar reason fate had decided to put it there, a song from the theatre suddenly popped into my mind as bright as day, with me standing there centre stage.

I nodded sagely before taking a deep breath and stood, a little shakily perhaps on my hind legs, and began: 

“I am the very model of a modern Major-General. 
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral. 
I know the Queens of Canterlot, and I quote the fights historical, 
from Alesand to Zenidoo, in order categorical.”

“GUARDS!”

“I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, 
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.”

“GUARDS! GUAARRDS!!”

“Hey! I haven’t finished yet!” Huffing loudly at this rude interruption to my rendition of the old classic I clucked tongue and tried again. “Bugger it, I can’t… aha! I’m very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific name of being ani- ARGH!” Two hulking great guardstallions in full armour and sporting a couple of lethal… hang on… “It’s you guys!” I laughed. “Bog Brush!” I let out a raucous laugh that had ponies spilling out of the tavern. “Bet you two clean right round the rim, eh? Cor blimey!”

“What do you want us to do with him sir?” the hulking Bog asked.

“Take him to the-”

“Fairlight? What the hell’s taking you so long? Fai-” The mare’s voice died away in a strangled cough, “Oh, Shi...”

“Yes, Lieutenant?” the chestnut stallion asked. “You were going to say something?”

Zip Line snapped to attention in an instant. “No, sir.”

“Do you know this stallion?”

“Yes, sir. He’s the new recruit,” Zip said smartly. “We were on a mission today.”

“I know,” the stallion frowned. “I was there, remember? I had to wait thirty minutes while they recalibrated the portal because you and your drunken friend here wanted to get away early!” He waved a hoof at me. “I can see why, now! Look at the state of him!”

“I’ll take him back to the barracks immediately, sir,” Zip offered. “With your permission of course.”

“My permission? I should have you lashed for this!” The stallion turned to me in an absolute fury and froze mid-bellow, staring at me with his mouth hanging open like a comically surprised carp. “What… what in the name of all the gods is he doing now?!”

“I believe he’s singing a piece from the Mikado, sir. It played last month at the royal theatre,” Zip Line said helpfully.

“I CAN SEE THAT!” 

I finished the first verse and leaned conspiratorially towards the incensed stallion. “Pssst. Look, I know that you’re really ossifering it up a storm right now, buddy, and that’s great, you know? Really great. I mean, you do you and all that, but seriously, can you do it later? I really need to go pee.”

The officer turned an impression shade of purple. “Take. Him. AWAY!”

“Everything is a source of fun,
Nobody's safe for we care for none.
Life is a joke that's just begu-un,
Three little maids from school!” 
“Come on boys, altogether now!”
“Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary,
Three little maids from school,
Three little maiiids from school!”

The best part of the evening was the fact that the two lumps of meat either side of me added a superb double baritone to my ad-hoc performance. Behind me somepony began to clop their hooves in appreciation. I would have taken a bow of course, but my two escorts were a little impatient to whisk me away to my chambers for the evening. Besides, behind me my drinking friends were making their own music in the tavern which included the sound of broken glass and whistles. Ah, such good times! The cell door thumped shut with a clang.

“Bloody philistines.”


********************


My new abode didn’t quite live up to my exacting expectations as it turned out. It was certainly devoid of modern conveniences such as, say, a bathroom, shower, bath, decent hot food and so on and so forth. Nope, everything in my now very compact world consisted of bucket: one for the use of, bed: one for the sleeping of, and... that was about it really. Nothing to read, nothing to do, nothing but… well, sleep I suppose. And gods above, did I need it. I was just starting to drop off for the umpteenth time when the loud clattering of keys alerted me to the door being opened. I opened a bleary eye and gazed up into last pony I wanted to see right then.

“Didn’t take you long, did it?”

I closed my eyes and rolled over to face the wall. “Hello to you too, Pop.”

The green stallion sighed loudly, no doubt for my benefit. “I’d come to see how your first mission went, and instead of being at the tavern, I found you here.” There was a pause. “Like this.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Like this.” A thought, rather courageously I have to say, sallied forth from the alcohol and looming hangover inducing fuse I found myself in, demanding my attention. “How did you know I’d be at the tavern?”

“An educated guess,” Pop replied without any hint of detectable sarcasm. It was quite the impressive feat to be honest, considering the current situation. 

“Yes… I’m sure it was,” I replied groggily. I opened my eyes and gave them a rub. Goddesses, they felt like they were full of sand – very course sand. “You knew I wouldn’t be at home.” I rolled over to face him. “And I expect you know why, too.”

Pop nodded, “You read the note, no doubt.” The dour green stallion let nothing slip in regards to how he felt about the matter, but then Pop had always been adept at hiding his emotions as I knew all too well. “Meadow...” He sighed. “Meadow doesn’t approve of what I did. I told them not to blame you of course, but you know what mares are like.”

“You’re in the dog house too, eh?” I surmised.

Apple Pop nodded, “Again.” He chuckled slightly, glancing around the small cell.

“I’d offer you a chair,” I said wearily, “but as you can see, the amenities in my boudoir are somewhat lacking of late.”

Apple Pop smiled that absent knowing smile of his that always used to infuriate me to the point of storming out of the room whenever the in-laws came to visit. I’d learned to live with it for the sake of peace, but it still rankled me nonetheless. “That was always something I liked about you, Fairlight,” he said, much to my surprise.

“Oh?” Now this was new!

“Your sense of humour,” he explained. “Ironic and cynical it may be, but I’ve noticed how you use it whenever something is troubling you or you’re in a corner. I like that.” Apple Pop raised an eyebrow. “If you can keep your head in a crisis you have a better chance of making it through in one piece.”

“Huh! It didn’t help with Meadow,” I replied bitterly.

Apple Pop simply nodded, “I know. But mares are mares and they have their ways. Stallions do too of course. We’re just a little lacking in the empathy and emotional areas.”

“I don’t think Meadow and Meringue would disagree with you on that point,” I offered.

“No. No, maybe not.” Apple Pop closed his eyes and smiled, “Anyway, I’ve had a word with Argo and he’s going to have you released in the morning.”

“And the charges?” I asked hopefully.

“None to face,” the old green stallion shrugged. “You just pissed off the wrong officer, that’s all.”

“Huh!” I squeezed my eyes shut and sat up with a groan. “Well, sod him. I don’t even know the smarmy get’s name. Bloody shiny arses - all piss and vinegar.”

“I can’t disagree with you there,” Pop said with a shrug. “Still, I would suggest avoiding Lieutenant Thalio for the-”

“What?!” Suddenly Pop had my full attention. “What did you say his name was again?”

“Lieutenant Velastro Thalio,” Pop said plainly. “You know who he is, don’t you?”

“Of course I bloody well do.” I spat on the floor angrily. “Buck it all! Why him of all stallions? Goddesses in their stinking heaven, that little rat is going to make my life hell here after this bollocks.”

“You do outrank him, Fairlight. Remember?”

“That doesn’t mean jack here, Pop,” I huffed, “and you know it.”

“To a degree,” Pop agreed quietly. “But what happened between you and him in the Wither World was not of your making. And what happened afterwards was out of your control anyway.”

“I know, but he won’t see it like that.” I groaned loudly, not just from the news but my now increasing headache. “He’s going to do everything he can to get back at me. I just know it.”

Apple Pop leaned over and clopped my on the shoulder, “Argo knows about you, Fairlight. So does the marshal too by the way, so I wouldn’t worry too much about our friend Thalio. Ponies like him always come a cropper sooner or later. We had a couple like him in the watch back in my day too. Arses and brown nosers the two of ‘em. One day, we got even, and got shot of them both.”

“And just how did you manage that?” I asked.

Pop shrugged, “I put dog shit in both their lockers and left a message on the bathroom mirror that the ‘guilty party’ would be in the chariot park that evening.”

“And what happened?”

“Ah, well. They both turned up and assumed the other fellow was the perpetrator,” Pop explained. “They were both so far up their own arses they didn’t stop to consider that the whole thing was a set up, and proceeded to kick seven bells out of each other. The old chief heard the commotion, looked out of his window, and saw the whole thing. Next morning he got the two of them transferred down country somewhere.”

“I can’t believe that worked!” I scoffed.

“Believe what you will, Fairlight.” Apple Pop stretched his shoulders and passed me a cup of water. “Sometimes even the most obvious answer can be overlooked because of pride and bull headedness.”

“A word from the wise?” I asked.

Pop shrugged, “You can take from it what you will. It’s your life. Death, rather.”

“Yeah, I get caught out on that too.” I swallowed the water which right then tasted like nectar from the gods. “Pop?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve really cocked things up with Meadow, you know.”     

“I know,” Pop nodded slowly. “She’ll come round.”

“I hope so.” I leaned back on my pallet bed and stared up at the regulation whitewashed ceiling. “In the goddess’s name, I hope so.” A few minutes passed, maybe more, as Pop and I sat there in absolute silence, the two of us deep in contemplative thought. “Pop? What was going on earlier regarding the fountain festival? Everypony was up in arms about it.”

“Oh, that,” the old watchstallion huffed. “Honestly, Fairlight, I’ve never heard its like before. The royal palace was...” He closed his eyes, clearly struggling to say the word, “burgled.”

“Burgled?!” I tried to bit back my sudden burst of humour. “The gods were robbed?!”

“As much as you may find all of this highly amusing, Fairlight, I can assure you that nopony has ever, ever, robbed another pony in the eternal herd.” Pop’s distaste distorted his features. “Certainly not the royal family. To think that some… some filth out there did this is simply… unthinkable!”  

“What was stolen?” I asked.

“Jewellery,” Pop said angrily. “A piece of the founding aether, formed back when the world was born. It’s a substance as rare as bottled joy from a happy yak.”

“But… why?” I asked, genuinely curious. “This is the eternal herd for Celestia’s sake. You can just imagine something up and Poof! There it is. Pretty much anyway. I haven’t got that far in the guide yet.”

“No...” Apple Pop shook his head. “I never read the bloody thing either.”

“So what now? They’re the gods, they can just wave a hoof and magic it back, can’t they?” I held my hooves up for dramatic effect. “Off to prison goes the thief, and bob’s your uncle.”

“They can’t.”

“Eh? Why not?” I frowned in confusion. “They’re supposed to be omnipotent aren’t they? What’s the point of all that ‘Incredible Cosmic Power’ and stuff, if some cheeky bugger can waltz in and nick things out of your sock drawer?”

“Because,” Pop sighed, “The king and queen, the god and goddess of the eternal herd, created a set of commandments that the ponies of the afterlife are supposed to follow. In return they agreed that they would not intervene in the daily running of the herd. This is where the royal guard come in of course.”

“So being a god doesn’t mean you can’t, say, lose your keys, for example?”

“A little disrespectful, Fairlight, but essentially true,” Pop shrugged.

I scratched my chin in thought, “But they could, if they really wanted to of course?”

“Of course.” Pop raised an eyebrow. “But the king is a traditionalist, and to him the word of the law is the word of the law. It cannot be broken by neither he nor the queen.”

“You learn something new every day.” I took another sip of my water and began to seriously wish I had a cold flannel for my head. “By the way,” I said, “the mission went okay. Up to a point, anyway. But Pop, seriously, the intel in the brief was worse than useless! Zip Line and I had next to nothing on the target and what little we had was wrong.”

“How so?” Pop asked, his ears pricking up.

“The intel said that he’d expired two days before we got there.” I shook my head as the memory of poor Hedgerow’s plight came back in full force. “The retirement resort he stayed in sure as hell hadn’t burned down two days ago. It looked like it had been abandoned for bloody decades. I know about the time fluctuations between here and the mortal world, but for the goddess’s sake, that guy had been there that long he’d turned into a Lemming or something and nearly took us both out.”

“Lemur,” Pop said, correcting me. “In the most basic terms it can happen when a soul that has received a cruel death and not been put to rest can, if left for long enough, ‘warp’, essentially becoming a corrupted echo of its former self.” He stared at his hoof as he continued his explanation, “It essentially foments in its own bitterness and hatred at the world. Over time it begins to change, gradually becoming an entity of utter evil and malice intent. If not stopped quickly enough they can begin to attack the living, and that’s when we have to come in and… ‘cleanse’ them.” He frowned at me, an expression of doubt flickering across his features. “Are you absolutely certain it was a Lemur?”

“That’s what Zip Line said it was,” I shrugged. “Well, he was, I suppose. Anyway, it was all sorted out in the end thank goodness. We buried the poor bugger’s remains, said a prayer, and he toddled off with us happy as Larry.”

“Yes...” Pop sat in thought and then suddenly stood up. “I need to go and have a word with Argo. If you experience anything else like this, Fairlight, I suggest you speak to him directly. Nopony else, you understand? Just him.”

“Why?” I asked curiously, intrigued by my father in laws sudden animation.

“He’s a pony I trust, Fairlight,” Pop replied. “That’s all.”

“Why can’t I just tell you?” I asked. “After all, you’re senior to me here and I know I can trust you.”

“I know, it’s just...” Pop sighed loudly. “I’m transferring soon to the western territory.”

I straightened up in surprise at the revelation. “Eh? Why? I haven’t heard anything about this!”

“No, you won’t have.” Pop stared at the floor as he continued, “It was something Merry and I were going to tell you both after the festival. I suppose that’s a little redundant now, considering. You see, the whole ‘spending time with your relatives’ thing was Merry’s idea. I’m not...” Pop gave me a pained expression. “I’m not exactly one for socialising. You know what I mean, right?” I nodded. “Fairlight, Merry and I want to enjoy the lakes and the peace out there, far away from everything, including the guard,” Pop continued. “I’ve done my time in the watch, I’ve been in the guard for more years than I can count, and… and I…” 

I held up my hoof and nodded, “No need to explain, Pop. Just… let me know when you’re going, okay?”

“Yeah.” He looked deflated, but also relieved that I understood him.

“Look, I know I haven’t been the ideal son in law,” I tried, “but-”

“Fairlight, stop.” The old stallion smiled at me, “There’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing that you can’t solve given your own time and allowed to be all that you can be. I know it sounds gauche, but being here, with these ponies, will bring back the real you. You understand?” I nodded. “Just don’t run yourself down all the time. Meadow’s told me about you doing that, and I know exactly why you do it. Gods forgive me, but I did it to myself enough times and it drove Merry crazy. But, Fairlight, believe me, it doesn’t help you. Being negative and overly self critical is self indulgence of the worst kind. It can destroy you without any help from outside by wankers like Thalio and his ilk. Yes?” I nodded again. “So, take a leaf out of my book, and when the worst happens look it in the eye and just… smile.” He chuckled, “They really hate that.”

I smiled, joining my father in law in his mirth. It was a revelation to me to know that the old stallion really seemed to care about me even after all the things I’d thought about him over the years. Perhaps, for me at least, this really was a turning point in my life. I had a new job, a new purpose, and had even mended bridges with my extended family that should never have been damaged in the first place. All I needed to do now was make things right with Meadow and I could finally be at peace. Not just with her, but with myself too. I reached down inside myself and instead of the usual ball of knotted anxiety and grief, I felt only... calm. Peaceful even. 

I stood up and reached out to Pop. “Thank you.”

He looked at me strangely for a moment, as if seeing me for the very first time. And then, to my surprise, he actually… hugged me. 

“Fairlight, I know you’ve heard this a thousand times before, but you are loved. Your family, friends and even those you don’t know. They all love you.” The green stallion gave me a friendly squeeze before letting go. “Never forget that. When the darkness seems to swallow you whole, there is always light. You only need to open your eyes to see it.”

I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to say I loved him, that I was sorry and that I respected him wholeheartedly. But you know, I think he already knew that. The look in his eyes was the gentlest I’d even seen from him and it brought a lump to my throat. The gruff miserable old sod actually had a heart after all. And I knew then, in that sublime moment of clarity, that I too held a place in there somewhere as well. Before I could say any more he’d knocked on the door and one of the guards opened it to let him out.

He paused. “Fairlight?”

“Yes, Pop?”

“Take care of yourself, and… good luck.”

I bobbed my head, “You too, Pop.”

And with that the door closed and I was left, once again, to my silent reflections.


********************


It was morning. I knew that by virtue of the fact the sun was streaming in behind the shadowed mare standing in the open doorway with a scowl on her face. What joy. Something told me I wasn’t going to be getting breakfast in bed this morning, let alone a copy of the local paper. 

“You really know how to make an impression on a girl, you know that?” Zip Line said testily.

Goddesses, her voice was like hooves down a chalk board! “Yeah, I’m a real piece of work,” I shrugged. I winced as I stood up and felt the full glaring brightness of the sun searing my eyes. “Gods! Can’t they turn down the brightness on that thing?”

“A little tender are we?” Zip Line smirked knowingly.

“It’s alright for you,” I replied, “you’re used to it. I’ve barely touched a drop since I got here.”

“Ah, yes. The wife,” she stated knowingly.

“The wife,” I agreed with a nod. “So, what’s on the agenda for today? A little light flogging perhaps?”

“You wish! This one will shake the cobwebs off you though,” my colleague chirped merrily. “We’ve a soul lost in the northern mountains.” She passed me the brief. “I haven’t been there for a while, but I can tell you now we’ll need to wrap up warm.”

I turned the page, trying to make my sore eyes focus. I wish I hadn’t looked too. There, staring at me with the innocence of youth, was a picture of a foal no more than five years old according to the bio. Large eyes peered up at the camera, the way Lumin’s had with me when he was being cradled in his mother’s forelegs. My heart sank. 

“Damn it all, she’s just a kid.”

“Fell down the mountain and broke her neck apparently,” Zip Line noted casually.

“Goddesses almighty, Zippy, how can you be so upbeat about this?” I asked. 

“Because we’re bringing her home, Corny, that’s why.” Zip Line tossed her mane as we entered the bathroom. “Children don’t usually come with any problems because they’re so accepting of things. We go there, pick her up, bring her back here to her relatives, and all’s well that ends well.”

“Not for her parents, though,” I observed. “I know what it’s like to lose a loved one.”

“That’s not for us to concern ourselves about though, remember?” The black mare hung up her tunic and began rummaging in her locker. “Lesson number one is to detach yourself from the world of the living. They can’t see us. They can’t hear us. And we’re there to do a job that helps ponies, Corny. And that is what’s really important. We can’t deal with what-ifs and buts, why something happened, or how ‘unfair’ and ‘cruel’ everything is. To the soul it already has happened and they need our help now regardless of how upsetting the situation might be. Don’t forget, if it wasn’t for us that little thing would be wandering around the mountains for who knows how long. And goddesses forbid we have another Lemur on our hooves. Agreed?”

I snapped to attention. “Yes, boss.”

She winked at me, “And don’t you forget it!”

In short order we were kitted out with a surprisingly large amount of winter gear, including boots, cloaks, and padded armour that was similar in some ways to the normal issue, yet much lighter in the metal department. It was certainly comfortable, but in the centrally heated barracks I was rapidly starting to warm up to uncomfortable levels and we wasted not time in heading once more for the portal room. I’d been fortunate that my chirpy comrade had allowed enough time for me to grab a quick shower and tidy myself up before our scheduled trip. It was a job I certainly didn’t relish, although I could see Zip Line’s point of view on the matter even if I didn’t exactly share her enthusiasm. By her own admission she’d never had foals and it was only to be expected that she wouldn’t be quite as ‘emotional’ as I was about the subject. In fact, the way she’d looked at me when I’d spoken to her earlier made me feel decidedly foolish. Aside from my hurt pride I still felt she was missing the point, but labouring it was only going to make an issue out of something that was, in all fairness, simply a different point of view. Other than my family, Zip Line was the only mare I’d spent much time with since passing away. She was confident, quick witted, and could sink pints like I’d never believed equinely possible before. How in Equestria she was able to suddenly sober up after a minute’s snooze slumped over a table was incomprehensible. It was impressive certainly, but how did she do it? I’d have to ask her one day. It would certainly come in handy when I had to go home. And that was the one subject I didn’t want to contemplate right now. I mean, how long is ‘a few days’? Tomorrow? A weeks time? Zip Line’s nudge dislodged from that particularly worrisome train of thought and we trotted along quite merrily until my partner stopped me.

“Corny, hang on a min I need the loo before we go,” the pegasus announced. “Hand in our pass to the boffins and get them to hang fire, okay?” 

The black mare smiled and the disappeared into the mares room leaving me standing there like a plank of wood holding the slip of paper. To pass the time I tried examining it, but for the most part the curious thing was completely unintelligible. Numbers, letters, symbols, all seemingly random filled the neatly cut missive from top to bottom. No doubt to the white over-coated ponies who had a predilection towards large numbers of pens in pockets and spectacles which kept slipping down their muzzles, I guess it meant something. I presumed time of departure, estimated return time, location and so on, was all-

“A word...”

“Huh?” I looked up in shock as I was suddenly grabbed and roughly shoved around the corner of the corridor. My heart sank like a stone on a still pond. Yellow eyes, chestnut coat, and that deep red, almost black mane and tail - regulation length, naturally – filled my vision. There was only one stallion it could be...

Thalio.

He wasn’t particularly large in stature, but he was fit, and he knew exactly where to shove a guy to get him to move, voluntarily or not. Despite my armour the pressure he exerted was uncomfortable to say the least, and left me momentarily stunned as I was backed into a wall.

“What’s your name, stallion?” he asked levelly. “Can you remember now?”

I gave him a warning glare and backed away from his hooves a pace. “My name... is Corn Bread.”

“Yes, I heard them call you that.” Thalio took a deep breath, clearing his lungs and exhaled slowly. “I want to know your real name.” 

After my initial shock I rallied and met his stern gaze with my own measured one. “You already know. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be asking me.”

“No...” The stallion watched me like a cat watching a mouse. “I just want to hear you say it.”

“Then allow me to oblige you,” I replied icily. “My name is Fairlight Loam, Captain Fairlight Loam, late of the Equestrian Watch. Does that answer your question, Lieutenant?” Whether the warning tone of my voice had made any difference to this fellows arrogant posturing, I couldn’t say. His overall demeanour was one, not so much of hostility, but more of… contempt.

“I have been wondering whether this day would ever come,” he began. “The standards of the herd are not what they once were, and neither, evidently, are the royal guards’.” The chestnut stallion’s nose wrinkled in distaste. “A drunkard. A killer. A disgrace to the watch, the royal guard, and in fact to the whole of the Equestrian race. To think that a diseased beast like you was allowed entry into our home speaks volumes about how low the herd has sunk.” He leaned towards me, his eyes narrowing. “Do you know what they did to me and my brothers after our little meeting in the Withers, ‘Captain’ Fairlight?” I said nothing, only matching his gaze as he continued, “They destroyed me. The royal family themselves stripped me of my status as an alicorn. And not just me either. Oh no, they punished my brothers in the same manner. All of us! Years of service, years of dedication and loyalty to the royal family - destroyed overnight. Destroyed, because of you!”

“And you think that my refusal to go with you and have my mind, my personality, and everything that makes me who I am destroyed, legitimises me as the target of your hatred, correct?” I asked.

“Yes. Yes it does.” Thalio took a step back and felt my head did slightly in response. I wasn’t seriously expecting him to attack me, but it didn’t hurt to be ready. “You and your sickness do not belong here… wendigo.”

“And yet here I am.” I felt a wry smile tickle my lips. “And I bet that really makes your arse clench, doesn’t it.”

“You listen to me, you murderous little mutant,” the stallion hissed as his toned muscles rippled. I knew then that if he could, if he thought for even one moment he could get away with it, he’d be on me in a heartbeat. “I don’t like you. I don’t want you in the royal army, and as the gods are my witness I don’t want you in the eternal herd either. You, and those like you, should all be sent to the thestral plane with all the other freaks. The eternal herd is for ponies, and not for the likes of you.”

“In which case I suggest you put your grievances in writing to the marshal,” I said politely. “I’m certain they’ll listen to you, Lieutenant Thalio. After all, you’re such a nice guy.”

“You’ll be grinning on the other side of your smug face one day, wendigo,” Thalio retorted. “A leopard doesn’t change its spots, and it won’t be long until your sadistic primal need to kill surfaces again and puts innocent ponies at risk.”

My ire began to rise. I could feel it in my bones, my muscles and my blood as it howled through my veins. I wanted to fight him. I wanted to smash that damned smug face of his into an unrecognisable bloodied pulp. But if I did… now that would be playing right into his hooves. Instead I thought back to Pop’s advice whilst I’d been languishing in the cells. “Lieutenant Thalio,” I began. He stared at me, apparently unsure how to react as I used my most commanding tone and stood tall, coming face to face with the supercilious prig. “Get stuffed.” 

I could almost hear the blood vessel in his face expanding as his anger flared. In what felt like slow motion I saw his pupils dilate, his mouth beginning to open. And then, with timing that would have had any stage actor turning green with envy, a black and white muzzle appeared behind him like some avenging spirit of the dead.

“Hey Corny, you ready yet? I heard voices and-” She looked from me to the incensed Lieutenant Thalio. “Oh… This looks familiar.”

I took the metaphorical life belt and bobbed my head respectfully to my antagonist. “By your leave, Lieutenant.” And then, I simply walked away. My rather flustered saviour started to speak but I gently yet firmly nudged her towards the portal room. “I believe we have a job to do?” I said politely.

“Yes, but...” Zip Line babbled, peering over my shoulder. Whatever she saw shut her up in a trice and we continued the rest of our journey in silence.

Inside the portal room I hoofed over our documents, and in mere moments we were walking once more through the pool of liquid silver and into another world. 

Light enveloped us. As we emerged from the portal the intensity of the sun was such that it was a near physical experience causing me to blink in surprise. It was a hell of a change from last time and I quickly pulled down my goggles, breathing a deep sigh of relief. Fortunately for us our winter gear was surprisingly well thought out too. The boots were fur lined, our leg wraps, cloaks and helmets kitted out in similar fashion. The only real down side was that it was a touch on the bulky side, but certainly tolerable considering the alternatives. I took a deep breath, watching my breath condensing around my muzzle as I exhaled. The air here though was absolutely amazing. It was cold, sure, but so clear and fresh it made my hide tingle even beneath the armour. And the quiet! No birds, no noise of other ponies chattering, only the soft sigh of the wind blown snow as it caressed this vast barren landscape. The wind, what there was of it, was little more than a gentle tickle that I found surprisingly pleasant. It was certainly a massive contrast to the smells and clamour of down town Manehattan. If there was one word that could sum it all up, it would be… peaceful. Part of me, a distant yet distinct part, called out to it. I felt like I was home. This, here in this incredible place of such stark and naked beauty was where I belonged. I felt a shiver run through my body. Not of cold, but of longing.

“Hoy, you okay there?” It was Zip Line. 

“Me?” I smiled. “Yes. I’m fine.”

“You sure?” The mare moved closer, her hooves crunching in the snow. “You spaced out there for a minute.”

“Yeah, just taking in the scenery,” I replied. “Nature never fails to amaze.”

“Huh! Bloody freezing and bleak as buggery if you ask me.” Zip Line gave herself a shake and took out a map from her case and consulted it for a moment. “According to this we should be near a gulley where we’ll find our missing soul. Hang on, we’d better use the magic box of tricks for this one. I don’t fancy falling down a crevasse or something. That’ll really ruin my day.” She fussed with her case and produced a small brass box. “Here you go, you’re the unicorn, you can carry it.”

The device was about four inches square with a lens inset in the top and gems set around the outside of a central dial, not unlike a compass. “What’s this do then?” I asked. “Some sort of direction finder?”

“Yup,” Zip nodded. “Points to where we should be going.” She rolled her shoulders before fiddling with one of her panniers. “Specifically, it’s preset back at the barracks to a particular soul’s ‘harmonic signature’ or something.” She shrugged, “I don’t really know much about magic to be blunt, but this thing is an absolute godsend. Pardon the pun.”

“So how does it work?” I asked, holding it up. “What, we just follow the arrow?”

“And that’s about it.” The mare sniffed and rubbed her muzzle. “Follow the arrow and we find out foal. Easy peasy.”

“What about aerial recon?” I asked with a grin. “I point, you fly.”

“Yeah, like I can fly with all this junk on, right?” She shivered. “I could do it, but you know, hypothermia’s not really my thing?”

“Understood.” I let out a sigh and lifted the box. “Okay, let’s see...” The dial span this way and that, gradually settling on a course slightly north-east of our location. “Right, this way then.” I held out a hoof indication the direction the arrow was pointing. “Does it do something when we’re near?” I asked.

Zip line shrugged, “It chimes.”

“Oh. I’ll keep my ears open then.” Which wasn’t that difficult considering the absolute silence of our surroundings. Whoever had designed the cold weather gear had included a rather natty pair of padded ear warmers that sat under your helmet and poked up through the armoured openings. There was just enough to keep your extremities warm and allow you to hear too. Very clever. We’d had our own armourers and technicians back in the watch, although due to the continuous budgetary constraints on services we were lucky to have a cup and string to use for communications. The agency on the other hoof was a different matter altogether. They had the best of everything and were years ahead of the civilian market. Considering their behind the scenes role in Equestria, it was probably just as well. Here however, we had an odd mix of the two. It was as if somepony had come along with a boatload of high end magical equipment and know-how, and then suddenly became obsessed with living in the middle ages. Hence the wacky mix of magical locators and plate armour. Tradition was all fine and well, but when you’re clattering around like a tinkers wagon in a residential area at night I can see the appeal wearing off very quickly indeed. 

We continued to walk for some time, crunching along in relative silence. It was pretty warm going in all that gear and the exertion was soon turning the inside of my once comfy armour into a hot, soggy nightmare. The padding helped to soak away the perspiration to a degree, but it was only a matter of time before it reached saturation point and the damned stuff started pouring out of my ears like a fountain. And that was another thing wasn’t it - the business at the fountain festival. The king and queen, gods bless ‘em, turn up and take their seats along with half the population of the eternal herd. Everypony and his dog knew they were going to be there of course, so they also would have known that the bulk of the palace guard would have been in attendance with the royal duo. And I’ll bet you a years salary that they also banked on the polished armour boys who’d been left back at the palace being on a much lower level of alert now that their bosses were away. So let’s see… Palace is less well guarded than usual. Thief comes in, steals a valuable pendant, and disappears. Inside job perhaps? Maybe. Whoever it was knew the jewellery was valuable, or else they would have pinched a hell of a lot more. No… they knew what they were after alright, and they also knew where it was. Wherever that was. I assumed that since everypony had whatever they could possibly desire, within reason, there would be a natural drop off in the number of thefts. I mean honestly, who would steal from the gods? But… yeah. History, legends and mythology were all replete with the tales of so-and-so who ‘defied the gods’ and nicked something important of theirs. Sometimes they got away with it, other times they didn’t. Most of them were only fit for bed time stories to entertain little ones like Sparrow, but when the gods live in a palace a short taxi ride from your house it’s a bit harder to be as objective as you may have once been. Anyway, as interesting a distraction as it may be from slogging through the snow, it was none of my business. My days of detecting crimes and gathering statements and so forth were long since passed. They didn’t want my help, and they had more than enough senior guards here to sink the proverbial. Still, didn’t stop me being a touch curious.

Zip Line was blowing hard with the effort, but finally she spoke. “Hey, Corny?”

“Mmm?”

“I owe you an apology.”

I frowned in thought for a moment. I couldn’t think of anything she’d done to me. “What for?” I asked.

Zip Line sighed loudly, turning her head away in embarrassment. “I think I may have blabbed your real name out the other night.” She paused, “When Thalio was there?”

Ah, and now suddenly everything becomes clear, doesn’t it. He obviously knew who I was and hadn’t wasted any time in making a bee-line right for me, just to make his point. I shrugged, “Doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done.”

“But it does matter!” Zip Line said anxiously. “One of the major tenets of the guard is not to divulge a guardspony’s true identity unless it’s by royal order. I broke that rule, and now look what’s happened: he’s got you set in his sights and it’s my fault because of my big mouth!”

“Who’s to say he wouldn’t have found out sooner or later anyway?” I mused. “Wouldn’t be hard, all they’d need to know is that Apple Pop introduced me, find out that I was his son in law, and then just ask anypony in town who the local celebrity was. Hey Presto! Oh look, it’s Fairlight, the mass murdering demon creature from the pits of Tartarus out shopping for knitting accessories with his family. Try not to murder anypony on your way home, you naughty colt!” 

“Are you always so cynical?” my partner asked.

“Yes,” I replied, “although I’ve always believed cynics to be the world’s realists. Walking through life naively expecting everything to work out for you when everypony around you would happily trample on you to be that one step higher than you on the career ladder, the social ladder, or whatever the hell it is, is utterly pointless. We all have to do our best for ourselves and our families, and if we can be good people at the same time, then so much the better.”

“But you said you’re a fatalist, didn’t you?” Zip Line pointed out.

She was right, and I nodded to her, “True, but I don’t know what Fate’s plan for me is though, do I? If I sit on my arse and do nothing you could say I was fated to spend eternity as a couch potato. But if I don’t try, if I don’t push myself to become a better stallion and do my best for my loved ones, then would it still be right for me to simply give up and say ‘oh never mind, it’s fate’? No. Fate knows what we will do before we do it, but by that very measure we ourselves cannot know. That’s the paradox, you see? To know what Fate has in store for you would effectively be like looking into the future. A future you could change. But since Fate already knows what that will be, would you have actually changed your fate or simply done exactly what she expected?” I smiled, “Either way, we are all allotted a set number of days in the plane of the living before our time runs out, and then one day it’s poof! And you’re up here in front of my old pal Aethel, signing that bloody book of his.”

Zip Line frowned in thought, “So by your logic we may as well do whatever the hell we want because it’s all preplanned in some big book someplace?”

“I heard it was a tapestry, but yes… that’s about the size of it.” I nodded, floating up the direction finder in my magic. “Some say Fate’s a mare who sits atop a mountain, cursed forever to weave the lives of ponies until the end of time. Others believe fate to be some analogous force that we can neither see nor touch, yet interacts with our world on a level far above our own understanding.”

“Nothing obscure about that then,” Zip Line groaned. “Goddesses, I hate snow! It’s getting in everywhere, and now I’m all hot and sticky too. Isn’t the thing chiming yet?”

“Nope.” I lowered the device and stopped to take a drink. Even in this cold it was important to remain hydrated.

Zip Line took a swig of her own water and shivered. “Guess you’d be used to this stuff then, eh?”

“Why’s that?” And then I realised what she was getting at. “Ah, the whole ‘wendigo’ thing, right?”

“Right!” Considering her fatigue, now we were talking about a subject she quite obviously had an interest in, her curiosity gave new life to her movements and she positively bounced along beside me. “So, you feel the cold though, yeah?”

“I can feel it, it just doesn’t bother me that much.” I raised an eyebrow. “Zippy, you do realised that I’m not really a wendigo any more, right? They ‘cleansed my soul’ or locked it away or something, the same as they do with all the other wendigo who came to the herd.”

“I guess.” Zip Line looked a little deflated. “Most of the wendigo went off to the thestral realm, but some stayed. I knew a couple of them too.”

“You knew ponies who were wendigo?” I asked, my own interest piqued.

“Of course! I used to play hockey with Nirtha and Lysine in the local mares league. We were damned good too, but boy did I get thumped!” Zip Line looked down at the snow with a sad smile, her eyes taking on a distant caste. “One day they just gave away all their belongings and took the walk. I didn’t even know they’d gone, but I kept the note they left for me along with their awards and medals.” Zip Line closed her eyes. “I gave up playing hockey after that… it didn’t seem right to carry on without them.”

“So what, ponies just get up and leave? Just like that?” I asked. It still bothered me just to even to think about it. “To just give up on who you are, what you are, and-”

“And be a teenager again? Ha! No thanks! Acne, greasy mane and tail, not to mention the hormonal mood swings.” Zip Line shuddered, “Nope. I’m quite happy here thank you, my dear Fairlight.”

“So, cards on the table, yes?” I asked her, already knowing the answer. 

Zip Line nodded, “Cards on the table.” 

I’d try and keep this short and sweet. “Okay, so I am who you thought I was.”

“Ha! I knew it!” The mare’s wings flapped and she lifted off the ground a few inches before gently landing back in the snow. “I saw that grey coat and the black mane and I said ‘that’s gotta be him!’ I’d heard you’d arrived of course, everypony had, but I thought to myself ‘that stallion’s going to come here one day’, and you know what? I was right!”

“What made you so sure I’d join the guard?” I asked.

Zip Line rolled her eyes, “Ex-watch? Duh! Most of the guys and gals here are ex-army, ex-watch and what-not. What with all the heroic stuff you’ve done I knew it would still be in your blood. Metaphorically speaking of course.” She giggled coyly. “Cor blimey! I wish I could tell the girls about this. I know Nirtha and Lysine would have been thrilled to see you.”

There were those names again. It was quite clear to me now that the three of them had been close, but the wendigo had still left nonetheless, leaving their friend behind. At face value it would be easy to say they’d been selfish, but there must have been more to it than that. Perhaps it was just their time to go. I’d heard that before and hearing it never made it any easier to accept. That one day, you just woke up and knew it was time to move on. It was frightening on a level that I couldn’t quite put my hoof on, but it resonated with that deeper part of my soul that cried out every time I thought of my family both in this world and the other. Thinking of Shadow, Tingles, Lumin and my little Tarragon, was like poking a red hot poker in my chest, and I saw the same reaction in Zip Line’s face when she recalled the memories of her friends. Even now it still clearly caused her pain.

“When did you meet them?” I asked. “Nirtha and Lysine.”

“After the war with the Legion,” Zip Line replied. “I had a hell of a job finding them too. They were lost in these caves after their home was attacked by the Celestian army.” She shuddered. “Horrible job that was too. Both of them had been badly burned and simply wandered off, got lost, and just… passed away. Nopony should die like that, Fairlight.”

“But you found them and brought them home, right?”

“Yeah.” Zip Line’s tone of voice picked up an octave. She was bravely trying to make light of it, but the truth of the horror of what she must have seen still lingered even now. “Funny things wendigo souls you know. Now, I’ve seen ‘em all see: griffins, minotaurs, hippogryphs, even thestrals. But a wendigo is different. They smell different, look different, and feel… cold, like holding pure ice in your hooves. They don’t feel like a pony’s soul at all. Now your regular old pony’s like poor Hedgerow’s was: warm, gentle, and all fuzzy like. Griffins on the other hoof are all flighty and pompous. Minotaurs are headstrong and a bit dimwitted. Hippogryphs are like a muddle of pony and griffin of course, and a thestral is all spiky and feisty and… grrrr.”

“Grrrr?” I asked, a little amused.

“Yeah. Kinda like if you could bottle ‘angry’ and then tip it out and say, there ya go, one thestral soul!” Zip Line looked at me hopefully. “Get the idea?”

“Pretty much,” I agreed. “But wendigo souls are cleansed when they go to the herd, right? After all, that’s why my pal Thalio tried to collect me in the first place, to have me ‘cleansed’, whether I wanted to be or not.” Even the mere thought of it made my hide twitch.

“Ah, well.” Zip Line scratched her neck in thought, “Wendigo have to undergo a process of having their souls cleansed of the spirit from the Withers. Sometimes it could have… far reaching effects on them.” She lifted a hoof quickly. “Not all! Not… not all of them. But for some it… it changed who they were.”

“Like Nirtha and Lysine?” I surmised.

Zip Line rounded on me. “How did…?” She stopped and groaned loudly. “Yeah. It… it did things to them.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“Look, I didn’t know them before they were processed and so I only knew who they were afterwards, okay?” The black mare took a breath, her eyes downcast. “They had their souls cleansed so they could enter the herd. There was no other way, the council and the royal family would never entertain a parasitic entity living amongst them, and so, it was… removed.” Zip Line shook her head and forged on ahead of me. “Nirtha and Lysine were like foals when they’d finished with them, and I was assigned to help them integrate into the herd. Over time, like many of the wendigo, they began to remember who they had been and…” She closed her eyes, “I wished it hadn’t. It would have been better for them. So much better.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because it ate away at them,” Zip Line replied. “Every day, every moment, the memories of who they’d been gnawed at them, turning them into shadows of themselves. They even referred to themselves as ‘shades’ compared to how they’d been in life. They missed being able to fly. They longed for the feeling of strength and power that came with the spirit bonding.” She looked at me levelly, but her eyes were starting to glisten with tears as she spoke. “Their memories destroyed them, Fairlight. And I watched it all. Day after day, watching my friends drifting further and further into retrospection and depression. All the magic of the herd could do nothing for them, and the royal family refused all my requests for help. Until one day, when I had thought we’d finally been able to move on from the spectre of the past, I came home to find the note. Oh I ran to the forge to try to try to stop them of course. But I was too late. Far, far too late.” She glanced back at me and smiled. “Do you know the worst part of it?” she asked. “It was that I had actually begun to believe that we’d made progress, that we’d overcome the pain and dejection of their separation from the spirit. And… and I was wrong. I hadn’t done anything at all! If anything I’d probably made matters worse by intervening and… and...”

I caught up with her and placed my hoof on her shoulder. “Is this why you wanted to know if I was a wendigo, Zippy? Because of what happened to your friends?”

“I… I don’t know! Maybe? I...” Zip Line shook her head and nickered, “I suppose I thought that if I could speak to a wendigo again I could find out why they’d left and if it was my fault. I know it’s stupid, but… Oh, goddesses, I don’t know!” She shook me off and began to trudge away once more.

“I can remember what it’s like to fly,” I said quietly. “I know the feeling of freedom and exhilaration that comes with being able to fly high above the clouds with the blue sky above you and the sun shining like a golden coin. I can remember the sensation of strength burning through me, of magic that was so powerful, so raw in its intensity, that you feel like you could take on the entire world and laugh while you did it.” I looked up to see the mare had stopped and turned to face me.

“How, Fairlight?” she asked. “How can you stand there and remember all of that without yearning for it every hour of every day?”

“Because I have the love of my family,” I said with genuine smile. “Because I have two wonderful foals and three mares who-”

“What? THREE?!” Zip Line’s eyes were as wide as saucers. “Oh! Oh, now you’re going to have to tell me everything!”

I face hoofed. “Oh, no...”

“But oh, yes!” Zip Line chirped.

I felt my heart sink. I was going to have to tell her everything, wasn’t I? I groaned and uttered a phrase that seemed entirely appropriate for the occasion. “Oh… bollocks.”

My mare friend listened as I spoke, taking it all in. I was a little frugal with the more graphic information naturally, although I think her own imagination was more than capable of filling in the blanks in my story. All the while I kept checking the direction finder but the blasted thing remained stubbornly silent, as though it was waiting for me to finish my tale. Damned thing! Eventually however, all good things come to an end, and I finished my story. I have to admit though, Zip Line was a good listener. She’d kept quiet throughout and would only speak up when she hadn’t understood something I’d said.

“So that’s the whole sordid story,” I said finally. I glanced down at the direction finder and sat down in the snow for a breather. All this walking in belly deep snow was damned hard going.

Zip Line sat beside me and passed me a flash of some sort of spirit. “I’d heard some of that,” she said quietly. “I didn’t realise how much of it was true until you told me.”

“I haven’t read the newspaper articles,” I admitted. “I wanted to put everything behind me, but Fate seems to keep hounding me wherever I go, even in death.” I snorted bitterly, “Nothing like having a supernatural stalker watching your every move to give that ‘extra zing’ in the morning.”

“What about Shadow, Lumin and Tingles?” Zip Line asked. “You said you see them sometimes in the glades?”

“Sometimes,” I replied. “I haven’t been able to see them in some time though. The worst part is that I don’t know why.”

Zip Line bobbed her head in reply. “Perhaps it’s for the best.”

“How so?” I asked.

“What could you do to help when you’re here?” Zip Line reasoned. “Making a clean break is often the best way. It was for me anyway.” She shrugged, “Not that I had much choice in the matter.”

“Yeah...” I closed my eyes and felt the familiar pain in my heart every time I thought about my family in the mortal realm, and me stuck here. I decided to change the subject. “So what about you then?”

“Me?” Zip Line blinked in surprise at my question. Apparently she was used to being the one who asked the questions, not the other way round. “Ha! Not much to tell, really.” A mischievous smile played across her lips. “Tell you what, you guess how old I am and I’ll tell you.”

“Oh, come on!” I said with a chuckle. “That’s hardly fair! I told you my story.”

“Ladies privilege,” Zip Line beamed. “Come on, have a go detective.”

I raised an eyebrow and thought back to what I knew about her. She’d said certain things that hinted at a period, certainly. And her friend, Fret, was very pally with her. More than friends it seemed. Not so much lovers, but I had the distinct impression they were more like old comrades. I nodded to myself as I formed my hypothesis. “From what you’ve told me so far, I’d guess you were around in the time of the war of three tribes.”

She waved a hoof encouragingly, clearly enjoying seeing my mind at work. “Go on...” 

“Well, from what you’ve told me you certainly weren’t around when steam power was invented, so we’re looking at least a few hundred years there.” I frowned in thought. “You had friends who’d been killed during the war with Nightmare Moon and you were already in the herd then. Your friend Fret was a member of the royal unicorn army of the Golden Dawn.”

Zip Line nodded, “He was.”

“But you’re a pegasus,” I mused, “so unless you had some familial ties to the unicorn or earth kingdoms I’d say you were with the pegasus tribe. History tells us all the tribes were racially homogeneous, but that could always have been an over simplification on the part of the historian of course.” I scratched my muzzle, pondering what else I knew about her. “The watch as we know it today wasn’t founded until after Nightmare Moon was banished, so you can’t be ex-watch. So with your own assertion that the hunters are made up mostly of ex-forces, I’m going to guess that you were around either during the time of the crystal empire or the war with the three tribes. Based on your friendship with Fret, I’m going to take a guess at that time frame.” I ran all the information through my mind again and nodded to myself. “It’s not much to go on, but I’d say you were around two thousand years old. Give or take a century or so.”

“Oh, you’re good,” Zip Line nodded to herself with a broad smirk on her face. “You’re bang on the money there, Captain Fairlight.” She leaned back and rolled her shoulders. “I was born in the clouds, in a place called Nimba Columnus. They were well into the old school names back then, you know.” She winked at me cheekily. “It was just like the other tribes in many ways: insular, warlike, and had ponies flying around with attitudes so large I’m surprised they could fly at all!” Zip Line chuckled. “I was in military school at five years old, like everypony else. And then one day, the war happened.” She closed her eyes and stared at the ground. “It was terrible. Nopony seemed to know exactly what started it, but tensions had been building for generations over the earth ponies dominating the production of food.”

“From what I heard the earth ponies were treated almost like slaves,” I added.

Zip Line nodded sadly. “They were. Not by us, but by the unicorns. They effectively annexed whole areas of the land with the earth ponies as little more than indentured servants. Slaves, in all but name. The pegasi weren’t exactly ones for diplomacy either. Our food was mostly stolen in raids. We’d go in, pile up the carts and fly out before the unicorns could react. One day, something snapped and the earth ponies began to fight back. It wasn’t anything more than sporadic skirmishes at first, but then when the unicorns began to get involved the whole lot went up like a volcano.”

“And the wendigo?” I asked. “The Hearthswarming celebrations talk about the tribes having to leave the land because of the wendigo.”

“That’s partly true,” Zip Line nodded. “But it wasn’t the three tribes that moved.”

“Oh?”

“It was the wendigo.”

“What?!” I sat upright, giving my mane a hard shake. “The wendigo?”

Zip Line grimaced. “There were four tribes, not three.” She looked me right in the eyes. “I thought you’d know, what with you being one and all.”

The ‘you’re one of them’ line had always had a funny way of my getting my back up, and my next words were a little sharper than I intended. “I wasn’t around then, remember?” I huffed. “And if you recall I wasn’t exactly in a position to take history lessons from sporadic memories.”

Zip Line watched me for a moment and then shrugged it off before continuing her story. “All the fighting attracted wildlife. The usual beasts of the forests: bears, wolves, carrion crows, that sort of thing. But it was what stalked the fields following the larger engagements that put true fear into our hearts. Monsters, spirits, call them what you will. We all knew they were there. We could hear their cries high above, the cold biting into your skin through your coat as they began to gather. The sensible ones were well away from the area before they appeared. Others… well, let’s just say that they looked like they’d had the very life drawn from their bodies and a look of horror in their eyes the likes of which nopony should ever have to see.” She stared down at her hooves, playing with the snow. “I saw them a few times myself. Usually it was when I was on high reconnaissance in the mountains or the forests around the foothills. They looked like… like the ghosts of ponies; all transparent and trailing cloud vapour as they circled above the battlefields howling like the north wind. Some of the ponies from all three tribes saw them as an omen, and over time began to separate themselves from the rest, forming their own tribe that worshipped the very spirits we feared. They called themselves the tribe of the wendigo and refused to be drawn into the conflict despite representations from the others. Somewhere along the line they began to change physically, joining themselves with the spirits to become the wendigo you know. Like you are. Eventually, the tribe separated themselves completely and headed off into the mountains where they became, essentially, mercenaries. How they all became grey unicorns, I haven’t got a clue.” She peered at me and raised an eyebrow. “You know I hadn’t really thought about it before, but you look different from the wendigo I’ve known.” Zip Line pointed to my rump, “Your cutie mark for a start. And your eyes are brown, not yellow.”

“My eye colouring’s from my dad’s side,” I said.

“Do you keep in touch?” Zip Line asked.

A memory of my parents flash up in my mind’s eye, reminding me of things I’d rather not remember. “No. We weren’t exactly close as a family. I don’t know where either of them are now.”

“Oh.” Zip Line looked away, her eyes distant. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” I replied. “Mum and dad separated not long after I joined the watch. Sometimes I think they only stayed together because of me, and when I left home there was nothing to keep them together any more. Dad stayed in the watch after he transferred to Fillydelphia, but when he retired he just kind of… disappeared. Mum passed away not long after.” My heart ached whenever I thought of the past, and of my folks. I loved them in my own way, but growing up they were like strangers, always fighting with each other and arguing over even the most insignificant of things. I hated it, and looked forward to the day I would finally be able to leave home and strike out on my own, determined not to emulate the disastrous relationship of my parents. I huffed and shook off the snow, rising to my hooves. That had certainly dampened the mood! “Come on Zippy, let’s get this over with, eh?”

she nodded, “Yeah.” 

Right on cue a faint chiming began emanating from the brass direction finder and I floated it out in front of me for closer inspection. The dial was vibrating now, with the chiming sound announcing the proximity of the lost soul. “What do you think?” I asked.

Zip Line moved closer to inspect the device. “Not far. I’d say a little further along the gulley.”

She was right. Not far ahead of us the pure white of the snow field dipped away, dropping down into a shallow gulley that was thick with snow and rocks which had fallen from the mountain towering above us. In the pristine tapestry of the mountains it was like a scar on the landscape, a wound that had never healed. It didn’t take us long to find her though, I could hear her calling for her mother, the faint sound of sobbing a heart rending staccato to the silence of her final resting place.

Mummy? 

Mummy where are you? 

I’m frightened, I want to go home!

The voice was more akin to thoughts than actual words, reminiscent of the way thestrals communicated by somehow tapping straight into your mind. But irrespective of their method of delivery, the foal’s sense of fear and distress pulled urgently at my heart and gave renewed strength to my efforts. This could have been my daughter, my son, lost and alone in this bleak expanse of cold emptiness. Tears began to sting the corners of my eyes as I broke into as near a gallop as I could manage in the cloying snow. It pulled endlessly at me, sucking me down, denying me the speed I so desperately wanted. Beside me, Zip Line had launched into the air, and even borne down with her armour and winter gear she was able to pull ahead. I saw her land and look around, trying to find the source of the cries. And there, just behind a rock, we finally saw her. She ducked down when she caught sight of us, but her mane was still visible. It raised a smile to my face despite my sweating and panting.

“Tehma? Come out little one, it’s alright now, we won’t hurt you. We’ve come to take you home.” Zip Line’s words were so soft, so motherly, that they couldn’t fail to appeal to anypony, let alone a foal. Even me with my lifetime of unpleasant baggage and hangups, felt a pang of longing. And slowly, surely, a little face poked out from behind the rock.

“Who are you?” the foal asked. “I don’t know you. Are you from the village?”

“We’re from the eternal herd,” Zip Line said gently. “We’ve been sent to come and take you to a place where your family are waiting to see you. It’s all nice and warm, with sunshine all day long. You’ll be able to play games and meet other foals too, so you’ll have lots of friends. Won’t that be nice?”

“I… I don’t know.” The little foal hesitated and retreated behind the rock slightly. “Mummy says I shouldn’t go anywhere with strangers.

“And she’s very wise to say that,” Zip Line said with a bob of her head. “But we can’t leave you here all alone, can we?”

“I want my mummy.”

“I know, Tehma, I know.” The black mare took her helmet off and sat on her haunches. “I promise you you’ll see your mummy again, but you can’t stay here or she won’t know where to find you, will she?”

Tehma hung her head, “No...”

Zip Line nodded, “So out we come then, and let’s get you home. I tell you what, I’ll get you a big bowl of ice cream when we get back too. You can have all the sugar sprinkles, wafers, and nut toppings you could ever dream of!”

The little foal scrunched up her face. “What’s ice cream?”

“What’s…?” Zip Line’s train of thought derailed and I quickly jumped into the conversation.

“It’s cold, sweet, and tastes of rainbows and dreams - all scrummy and tasty and melts like the snows of winter on your tongue.” I gave her a wink, “I like the crunchy nut toppings best, but you can have anything you want there. Even hot fudge drizzle!”

“Don’t be silly, you can’t put hot things on cold things. They’ll melt,” Tehma chided me.

“Humph! Says the girl who’s never had ice cream.” I stuck my tongue out playfully. “Anyway, I bet I could eat loads more than you could.”

“You’re bigger than me,” Tehma snorted.

“But I’ve only got a small tummy,” I replied with an exaggerated sniff. “Anyway, hot fudge on ice cream is super nice, and I challenge you, Tehma, to an eating competition when we get back. First to eat their ice cream first wins a big prize. Deal?”

A dark brown foal with a surprisingly long haired coat crunched out from behind the rock. Big yellow eyes watched me quizzically. “What sort of prize?”

I shrugged, “A day out at the water park?”

“I don’t like water.”

“Any film of your choice?”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Okay, let’s see...” I scratched my chin in thought. I was rapidly running out of ideas here... 

Tehma beat me to it, “I want a big jug of Belth and a bag, no, a sack of candied Yelfad!”

Zip Line opened her mouth in surprise. “What in Equestria are they?”

“Deal,” I nodded, and held out my hoof. “But first, the ice cream and then the rest, okay?”

Tehma nodded and paused, looking over her shoulder at something buried under the snow. “Am I going to see the goddess, now?”

“Yes, little one,” I nodded with a smile. “I think we can arrange that for you.”

“Fairlight,” Zip Line whispered. “I don’t think we should be making promises like-”

“The goddess will want to meet a foal, surely.” I lifted my head and smiled down at the small foal. “And if not, I have another friend who we could ask.”

“That wouldn’t happen to be Princess Luna, by any chance?” Zip Line said with a raised eyebrow. “Best pals now, eh?”

“Luna?” Tehma chirped in, her earlier reticence vanished like morning dew. “Are you friends with the moon goddess? Really?”

“I am,” I replied with a cheeky grin. “Princess Luna and I are good friends, and I bet she’d love to come and visit you. But you’d have to be on your very best behaviour, okay?”

“Luna!” The foal’s eyes lit up. “I want to see the goddess!”

“You got it, Tehma.” I nodded to Zip Line, “Let’s get her home.”

I couldn’t look at the body under the snow. It didn’t matter now anyway, the small life that had been ended so cruelly in the cold of the mountains, snuffed out as easily as a candle in a hurricane, was over. The tiny soul before us was what was important now. She had only used those sad remains as a vessel until the day she could return to home, her true home, safe in the herd. There she would be able to play, learn and grow the way she should have in life. In some respects it was akin to the life cycle of the phoenix; we were born, struggled throughout all our trials in the world, died, and were then reborn in the herd with a fresh chance to start again. Perhaps it wasn’t the best, or even the most accurate analogy I could have picked, but it worked well enough. When your job was to collect the souls of children I’d take any comfort I could, if for no other reason than to stop myself breaking down into a sobbing heap of helpless emotional distress. 

I moved my focus to the foal trotting along beside us, and the way she almost glided effortlessly over the snow. Looking at Tehma with her long thick hair and her dark mane, she looked unlike any pony I’d ever seen. In fact she looked almost yak-like from some angles, albeit without the bulk and horns of course. Everypony learned of the equestrian tribes of the north in school - they were the ones who had shunned life in the green fields and forests of Equestria and instead had made a life for themselves in the most unforgiving place they could find. As to why they’d even consider such a drastic direction for their people was anyponies guess, but considering my wendigo heritage I was hardly in a position to criticize others who wanted to separate themselves from the wider equine society. In any case, I’d never met one of these enigmatic ponies in person before and I would have liked to have had more time to talk her. She was from a place few would even consider visiting, let alone call home. Unless you were a wendigo. The mountains were a place where my own people, my own tribe, had found their new life far away from the bickering of the other tribes. Where once there was little more than ice, rock and snow, they had built a home, just like Tehma’s people. When I closed my eyes I could still hear the cry on the wind, the song on the breeze as the wind blown snow caught my ears and tousled my mane. Home was where the heart was indeed. I could almost see them now, soaring on the air currents, swooping and singing with the sheer joy of life. The wendigo. My people. Home... I could see the turrets and the battlements in my minds eye, the towers of blue ice soaring high into the sky as thin as needles and as beautiful as the sun in the winter sky. It was where we came from, and where all things ended. It was the fortress where the winds of the world met and played their own symphony of magic in the blue sky. The fortress of the four winds.

“Fairlight?”

Fairlight. Son of Equestria. Son of the tribe. I wanted to fly, I wanted to dance and sing upon the wind. My brothers and sisters... They couldn’t all be gone, could they? No. Some had survived. I knew they had from what Zip Line had told me. I could still find them. I could find a way to join them and go home. I could go home!

“Captain Fairlight!”

A pair of large eyes appeared in my vision in a face of black with a white stripe down her muzzle. She reminded me of the girl I’d met so long ago, in a place of emptiness and sand as black as her fur. “Shadow...”

“Eh?” Zip Line gave me a shove as she put her helmet back on. “Stop daydreaming and get your arse in gear. It’s time to-”

A voice called out from the snow making both of us look round in surprise. “Tehma?” Again, louder this time. “Tehma!” It was getting nearer.

“Oh, hell!” Zip Line looked at me in alarm, her eyes wide. “Fairlight, we have to go now! We can’t let the little one see any relatives or she could anchor herself here and it’ll be the devil’s own job to get her away then!”

Relative? Damn it all, Zip Line was right. Tehma was already starting to look towards the shouting, her ears locking onto the voice with all the curiosity of youth. “Mummy?”

Oh no… I watched in horror as a larger, shaggier version of our little soul appeared from the other end of the rock strewn snowfield. The snow didn’t phase her, nor slow her down in the way it did with Zip Line and I. This mare near floated over the whiteness, her long hair covering her eyes and hanging down so much I could barely see her legs.

“Tehma?” The mare’s keen eyes spotted the rocks, and the mound covered in rubble. A howl of distress emanated from her as she charged forward, ploughing her way through the snow and detritus that covered the mangled corpse of her daughter.

“Damn this bulky crap, I can hardly reach the damned thing!” Zip Line was working frantically, pulling at her panniers to find the device that would send us home. “Fairlight, keep Tehma close. I’m going to open the portal. As soon as it’s open we have to move straight away, got it?”

“Got it.” I put my hoof around Tehma, trying to turn her attention from the mare behind us, but it was an exercise in utter futility. Tehma knew her mother and was already starting to pull away from me. “Tehma, listen to me. We can’t stay here,” I said gently. “Your mummy will come soon too, okay?”

The little foal was as slippery as a greased snake and shot out from my grip, her attention focussed fully on the mare digging in the snow. “Mummy? MUMMY!”

“Fairlight, stop her!” Zip Line shouted. 

I dug my hooves in and surged forward, charging after foal. Gods damn it, how the hell was she so fast on such tiny legs?! 

“Fairlight! Hurry!” Zip Line shouted again.

Snow flew up from Tehma’s hooves as she dodged away from me. I spat out a mouthful of snow and struggled to regain my balance. “Damn it, mare, what the hell do you think I’m trying to do!” I shouted back.

“Tehma!” Completely unaware of her daughter’s soul’s headlong rush towards her, the mare’s frantic digging finally slowed. And then, breathing hard... she stopped. “Tehma…” Her eyes closed, the mare gently reached down and took out the broken remnants of what had once been her child. “Tehma...” Tears as cold as rain slipped down mare’s face and dropped onto the body of beloved her daughter. She was silent, her eyes closed and her body shaking with the emotion surging through her.

“Mummy? Mummy what’s wrong?” Tehma tried to reach for her mother, but as she leaned forward, her forelegs passed right through her. “Mummy?”

I reached Tehma just as a silver flash of light behind me announced the portal to the herd opening. There was no time now, I had to get her away from the heart rending scene in front of us. “Tehma, come on now.”

“But… I can’t touch her…” Tehma stared down at her hooves as though seeing them for the first time. “Why? What’s going on? I don’t like it!”

I could see a whirlwind of emotion just waiting to be unleashed from the wide eyes of the child standing in front of me. She was confused, dazed and lost. It was the opportunity I need. “Sorry about this, Tehma, but we have to go.” Without wasting any more time I enveloped the foal in my magic and hoisted her into the air.

“Wha-? Put me down! Mummy! MUMMY!”

Goddess damn me, my ears! If there was one thing that I couldn’t abide it was children screaming, and two feet from my poor lugs was definitely too close by far!

“MUMMY!”

I turned and charged towards the portal in a loping gait that rapidly started to sap my remaining strength. Thank the gods I didn’t have far to go. Held above me in a ball of blue magic, the foal howled and screamed in the most heartbreaking wails of distress that made me feel as though I was like one of those monsters in a child’s nursery rhyme that steals young ones away in the night. At least her mother was unaware of the chaos not twenty yards from her. But to her, to that mare, her grief was something I couldn’t bear to witness. 

“TEHMA! TEHMAAA!”

And then it happened...

A sudden blast of ice cold wind rushed past me, gathering pace and swirling around the gully, creating eddies that whipped up plumes of white crystalline snow that filled the air like blasts of steam emanating from the earth. I’d never seen anything like it in my life, and I hesitated, staring at the scene before me in shocked wonderment.

“Fairlight! For the goddesses’ sake, come on!” Zip Line leaped into the air, grabbed Tehma, and with a sweep of her wings, plunged into the silver light of the portal.

I barely noticed. Open mouthed I looked on as the wind grew in strength, the air beginning to howl around her, echoing the cries of grief from the mare. She screamed. She screamed at the world, the gods, at the cruelty of fate that had stolen her child from her. Tears fell like hail as the storm of misery and loss howled and screeched in sympathy. 

And then I saw them.

High above her they were gathering. Gradually coalescing in the whirlwind of sorrow, their eyes glowing blue, their vague yet unmistakably equine forms, sang with her. They cried for her grief, they added their own agony to the world and drank it all. It fed them. It nourished them. My eyes never left them nor their sweeping majestic and terrifying forms. They were the snow, the sky, and the spirits of the mountains combined. Transparent yet as real to me as my own body, the creatures rose and fell, dove and climbed, round and round and round.

Wendigo.

“Fairlight?” Zip Line reappeared, placing her hoof on my shoulder and her voice strong and commanding. I could barely pull my gaze away to face her. “We can’t do anything here now, we...” She turned to stare up at the spirits dancing through the tempest of snow and harrowing despair. “Oh my goddesses.” She looked to me and then back again. “This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all! We have to go!”

“They’re wendigo,” I breathed. “They’re the spirits of the mountains, the creatures my people named themselves after. A purer, native spirit, but one that feeds upon strong emotions.”

“I know what they are!” Zip Line gave me a hard shove. “This isn’t the time for us to stop and sight see, we need to get back before the portal alignment fails. We could end up stuck here until they can sort it out again, and-”

There was a scream. A scream that sent out a shock wave of power from the very centre of the storm. In a blast which nearly took us both off our hooves, the sheer strength of the sound alone shook me to my very core. I shielded my eyes against the wind and strained to see. I could barely make it out, but there, in the centre, stood something that made my mane bristle. It was a shape of utter darkness - distinctly equine, with wings that fluttered in the storm surrounding it. At its feet lay the mare… and the dagger. The blood red snow. Above it all the wendigo span, howling as they fed on the escaping sorrow of the mare. Beside me Zip Line was shouting something, but I couldn’t hear her. I could only see the shape, the outline of darkness and the glowing eyes like fires in the night sky. It… It couldn’t be her. I knew it wasn’t, but it was so like her...

Zip Line grabbed me roughly and pulled my head to her. “Fairlight, listen to me, I’ve called for the senior teams to help us. This is way beyond our ability to deal with on our own. No more arguments, we’re getting out before the shit really hits the fan.”

“That’s Tehma’s mother,” I said over the din of the storm. “She’s… she’s a thestral.”

“It’s not what you think it is!” Zip Line shook her head, “For pity’s sake leave it, there’s no way we can take that thing on.”

“What do you ‘take it on’?” I rounded on her in shock. “What are you going to do?”

“We are not going to do anything,” she replied. “We need more hunters to destroy it before it corporealises fully in the world of the living. If that beast gets loose we’ll have a blood bath on our hooves.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You can’t kill her!” I shouted. “She’s a living being for Luna’s sake. Thestral’s are living, breathing creatures!”

“I don’t give a toss!” Zip Line snapped. “Those things kill ponies, Fairlight. We fought a bloody war with beasts like that for bucks sake. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

“It means something when you arbitrarily set out to murder something, yes!” I hissed. “I know thestrals and-”

“This isn’t the same!” Zip Line bared her teeth and tossed her mane angrily. “I don’t have time to explain, you dummy! Just… oh, goddess preserve us.” Her eyes were as wide as saucers, reflecting the red fires as they charged at us above thundering legs as black as night.

Give me my daughter.

The thestral’s words slammed into my mind and Zip Line’s alike. A venomous edge to those cold words left no doubt as to the intent of the sender. She was prepared to kill to obtain her goal, and she would go on killing until she had sated her need. Something inside me warned me that this creature would not listen to reason, nor to even to compassion. Regardless, I had to try something before the hunters turned up and tried to turn the creature into a kebab. 

I took a breath. “Your daughter is with the herd. She is safe and waiting for you.”

Give me my daughter!

“It’s not going to listen to you, you idiot!” Zip Line roared over the howling wind. “It’s driven by nothing but rage and malice. If we don’t get out of here we’ll be killed, and I don’t fancy being reincarnated just yet!”

The wendigo soared high above us, their voices high on the winds of rage as they continued their dance. I stared at them in fascination, lost in memory, lost in my own recollection of my past. I wanted to be with them, longed to dance beside my brothers and sisters. Part of me called to them, screamed at them to take me from this existence and fly away on the winds of winter. I began to walk towards them, dimly aware of Zip Line pulling at me, shouting at me to come away with her. It couldn’t be, I knew that, and yet the dark mare at the centre of the storm, so alone and desperate for her daughter, dragged at my dwindling consciousness. Within me the tight ball of ice, restrained and locked by the power of the herd… stirred. So close to these ethereal beings it lifted its head, burning me from inside, crying out in earnest. I opened my mouth, trying to call to them, trying to sing and be as one with the wind. Somewhere, somewhere in this madness, my voice cried out. It began as a low howl, and then louder. I sang. I sang the songs of the ancient ones. I revelled in the freedom and life of the mountains, the chill of the gales upon my hide and lifting my wings aloft upon the currents of the world.

Where is my daughter!

The voice called to me. A memory, not of mine but from a distant place, rose up to me and I understood. These were not my people. They were the raw energy that lived between the worlds, the spirits of the Wither World that manifested in the mortal realm. It was they who were the source of this agony for the mare, they were the spectres of her past and her current pain. I knew then, inside, what I had to do.

“Begone,” I hissed into the wind. “You have fed enough this day.”

The wendigo rose up above the swirling snow, turning their ice blue eyes to me, and in an instant, they surrounded me.

Brother. Join us. Be one with us.

“I cannot,” I called to them. “I am already joined. You cannot be with this mare, my brothers and sisters. Leave her. There is danger here. The hunters are coming.”

We are the hunters. You are one of us. Come away, brother.

“No. Begone from here.” My voice boomed out with all the force I could muster. “The mare is mine.”

Her life feeds us.

“She is mine! Begone!”

For a moment they paused, their glowing eyes burning into my own. One of them looked at me closely, its ghostly form sniffing at me as though it… knew me. And then in moment... it was over. With a flurry of snow and a blast of wind, the wendigo turned and flew up into the blue sky and vanished from sight, leaving behind them something that made my heart surge in my chest. Gone was the mare, the spirit of the Tehma’s mother. Gone was the thestral like creature she had become. It was… a foal. A beautiful, pure black foal. She was so small, so fragile, and radiated none of the malice, hatred and despair that had filled this lonely place only a few seconds before. I walked towards her slowly in a daze of confusion but still watching out for anything that might warn me of a danger I wasn’t aware of. But there was nothing, only the silence of the mountains and the sound of my own breathing.

“Fairlight?” Zip Line hurried up beside me, crunching through the snow, her eyes still wide with fright. “Leave it. For the goddesses’ sake, leave it for the hunters. I don’t know what the hell’s going on here, but we have to get back. If they find out you had something to do with this, I… I don’t know what they’ll do.”

I ignored her, my attention focussed entirely on the small life curled up in the snow and blocking out all else. “She’s a foal,” I breathed. “A thestral foal. I’ve never seen one before.” 

In all my travels in the Wither World I’d never seen any younger than Shadow and her sisters. Their reproduction rates were devastatingly low, too low to maintain a population, and Star Beard had told me of his fears for the future of his race. Of course their love of war did nothing to improve matters. Movement dragged my attention back to the child. The tiny thing stirred, yawning, and looked up at me with eyes that flared like miniature camp fires. Her little mane and tail were plastered with snow, her bony frame, as black as midnight, standing out in stark contrast to the surrounding landscape. She chirruped at me, her tiny dragon-like wings fluttering and then settling down by her side. Tiny white teeth curled up over her lips, which looked absolutely adorable. Suddenly I realised I’d been holding my breath and nearly choked on my next words.

“What will they do with her?” I breathed.

Zip Line closed her eyes. “It’s best not to ask. Believe me, there are parts of this job you don’t want to enquire too much about.”

I half turned, looking up at her. “I asked, what will they do with her?”

The mare’s eyes met mine. She was visibly shaken by what had happened and licked her dry lips. “They…” Zip Line swallowed, “They’ll… purge her.”

“Purge,” I whispered. “You mean kill.”

Zip Line hung her head, her eyes closed in silent admission at the stark and brutal truth. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and yet… somehow I could. The herd liked harmony. The herd liked things to be smooth, calm, and all sunshine and rainbows. Thestrals didn’t fit into that idyllic picture. And so, the answer was simple – the herd killed foals. Dear goddesses, was this what it came down to? I wanted to hear it from my partner. I had to know...

“Why?” I asked quietly.

“Because… because we have to,” Zip Line whispered. “We don’t have a choice in the matter.”

“We all have a choice,” I replied. My heart felt like ice, frozen colder than the frigid winter mountains surrounding us. I closed my eyes and lifted my head to the sky. “Go,” I told her. “I’ll do what has to be done. You can tell the hunters the matter has been… resolved.”

“Fairlight...” Zip Line shook her head slowly. “Don’t. Please. Leave it to them.”

“And have her death on their conscience instead?” I asked. “So we can all just walk away and try and forget it, right? Dear goddesses, is this why we’re allowed to get so drunk? To forget the horror of… of this?!” I took a deep breath and shook my mane, reaching down to the wrinkled form. “Zippy? Go. I don’t want you to see this. Please.”

“Fairlight, don’t...”

“Shush. Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be. I’ll be along in a minute.” I didn’t turn to watch her go. I felt the flash of magic tingle my horn, announcing her departure and smiled down at the little foal. She was so small. So innocent. She reached up to me with her tiny hooves and I leaned down to lift her from her frozen bed to cradle her in my forelegs. A sob tried to escape my lips but I couldn’t let her see my pain. “That’s a good girl.” I rocked the tiny thing, singing an old nursery rhyme my mother had sung to me when I was a foal. There was no need to make this helpless life, this precious flame in the darkness, suffer any more than she already had. I knew what I had to do. Even if it broke my heart to do it.