//------------------------------// // Rarity's very versatile // Story: Rarity's diploma // by pizzafryer //------------------------------// A giant, orange colored cart was barreling down the road leading from Ponyville to Canterlot. Two stallions were pulling the vehicle at top speed, their mind dazzled by the two beauties inside the cart. The two mares traveling in the cart were Twilight Sparkle and Rarity, familiar unicorns to everypony. They were trying to enjoy the bumpy journey to the annual Unicorn assembly, both wearing the same coal black cloaks, with blood red insides. Twilight was trying to read a book, which was so thick it could have been mistaken for a brick, while Rarity was admiring herself in a small mirror. “This red perfectly matches my snow white coat, doesn’t it?” asked Rarity, without stopping preening even for a moment. “Indeed! " Twilight rubbed the back of her neck, looking for a change of subject. "By the way, I'm so happy...we’re going together this year!” Twilight was happily clapping with her hooves, but only after she put the book down beside herself. “Last time it was so very boring. A bunch of old unicorns preached about importance of learning and the esprit de corps.” “Well, that’s correct, it’s a pity we didn’t know each other back then. But..." Rarity leaned forward, her eyes full of sparkles of joy. "I’ve heard that this time there will be a lot of handsome, rich and powerful unicorn stallions!" Rarity’s eyes were full off sparkles of joy. “I’m afraid I’ll be unable to talk to them. When I try talking to boys, I always start speaking in a very smarty manner. Therefore, my substantive thoughts materialize in the form of sentences that are not admissible for ponies with limited mental abilities. Our dialog’s continuity is interrupted and so synthesis of argument cannot come into existence “gabled the nervous unicorn. Rarity stared at her friend for a few seconds, before she was able to respond. “You’d better spare us these kind of moments tonight, darling. Stallions don’t like when a mare is smarter than them. A mare must steer from behind the curtains. Bear it in mind, dear. That’s why those two morons are currently in front of the cart.” said Rarity with a bit of disappointment in her voice. “I’m quite popular! This one time, I could hardly get away from stallions. But I wasn’t so social back then as I am now. I went with Shining Armor, and even Celestia urged me to go out.” “They had to drag you out by your mane, hadn’t they?” teased Rarity. “They got used to it. I didn’t make their job any easier, though,” giggled the purple unicorn. “You’re still easier to deal with than Rainbow Dash. She has no problem with self-confidence. She’d send anypony who dares to be impertinent with her back to a stable. “ “She would, wouldn't she? She is prone to going out of control. Like her pranks, actually. I remember when she and Pinkie Pie stole one of AJ’s pigs and hid it inside the school equipment room. When Miss Cheerilee let the children play a bit at the end of a P.E. session, they went to fetch some balls, and those poor children found a pig weighing 600 apples instead, standing on its rear legs. “ “Of course I remember. That big animal nearly fell on them. They thought it was turning on them. After the incident we had to nurse Sweetie Belle for weeks. It took her three days to speak fluently again. I wish Rainbow grew up already and found a proper job, or a good coltfriend to keep her busy. She is very popular for such a huge tomboy. Don’t you agree, Twilight?” “Maybe boys can get on with her more easily; she’s like a dude. Think about it.” Twilight laughed. “Her body is very athletic and toned, but still, she has the shiniest coat in the whole town.” “I wish I knew her secret!” admitted Rarity enviously. “You are so smart, Twilight. Have you got any idea what it could be?” “I suppose it’s that she baths twelve hours in her rainbow pond every day,” proposed Twilight, slipping back into lecturing mode. “Well, I could hardly compete with that. Lucky girl,” said Rarity with resignation. “Fluttershy, on the other hoof," said Twilight, “could also get any colt she wanted. But her shyness and wayward waiting for true love is stopping her. I’m afraid she will live her whole life with her animals if we don’t bring her out with us one day. Also, I’ve had enough of the delivery mare bringing her letters to me instead. Derpy had been afraid of her ever since her head was almost bitten off, literally. Unfortunately, she got there at a wrong moment, when Fluttershy went crazy because Angel tried to force her to eat meat again. “ “Yeah, that would be hard to forget. Poor Fluttershy, I don’t understand why she keeps putting up with that awful bunny. Did I ever tell you, though,” said Rarity, quickly changing the subject, “that I came up with the idea for my collection when Pinkie Pie had a ‘surprise party’ at my boutique? I almost lost my mind when I saw her throwing candy all over my shop. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t help wondering what was going on in her mind just then. “ “I’d guess an amusement park, led by a crazy pony, where cotton candy is free and you can puke anywhere you want,” said Twilight cheekily. “I remember that after Dash and Fluttershy saved me and Spike when we were falling, she came up to me, hugged me, and pressed my head right into her sweaty coat,” said Rarity, shaking in disgust. “And?” asked Twilight, confused. “And nothing! It was a hot summer day, and she was chasing Spike all over the town, plus she was practicing throwing cakes to him. “Rarity bursted out the words. “She was so sweaty that my vocabulary is not rich enough to describe it.” Rarity was starting to get overwhelmed by PTSD. “It was thick and sweet, like honey.” She paused for a second. “It’s like she is sweating sugar. It was the sweetest thing I ever tasted in my life, which means a lot, as I had lived with Sweetie Belle. You can imagine I got used to sweet things. I have special training in sweet stuff.” She changed her tone. ”I suspect the mitochondria in her cells use vacuum energy. Like if she were a living perpetual motion machine.” She let out a high-pitched giggle. "I do respect the Cakes; it seems to me only they can handle her.” Twilight was astonished. Did Rarity just really use scientific phrase, correctly? She asked herself. At first, she could not believe it, and thought only it was her imagination. She decided to make sure of that. “Did you say vacuum energy?” asked Twilight excitedly. “Indeed,” responded proudly the generous mare. “Would you tell me what it is?” asked Twilight. “Don’t you know?” Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow. 'Well," Rarity began, clearly humoring the lavender unicorn. “it is an endless form energy that can be found everywhere. You can harness this energy with the appropriate tools. I don’t want to bore you with the details, but it needs a vacuum tube, two electrodes in different lengths and high voltage. I leave the rest to your dirty imagination. “ Accurate, Twilight thought. She tilted her head, studying the white unicorn with amazement. “Whoa! How do you know all this?” She asked, tilting her head slightly. “Did you think my mind was occupied only with fashion? I am more than just a pretty face, Twilight. But it’s my father fault. He’d sent me to the Manehattan Institute of Technology. I can recall him saying that it was the only university he was willing to pay for. So, I had to attend, whether I wanted or not. I, of course, didn't take it lightly.” “I, of course, didn’t take it lightly,” she continued.” I concentrated on my studies, despite the constant parties. I didn’t want to spend even one more semester there than I really had to. I wanted to devote myself to the world of fashion as soon as possible. I am still capable of designing an engine that functions based on the Biefeld-Brown effect, though. Yet, there is no such dress or hairdo that would be too much for me, either,” said the prideful unicorn. “The mare-to-colt ratio was one-to-ten, however, so I had more worshippers than ever. My phone was always ringing. I have to admit, I tried to get out the most of the situation; I found my first coltfriend there. “ Twilight was totally absorbed in Rarity’s story, who continued. “In only five years, I was popped the question three times. Anyway, besides my beloved career in fashion, I also have a PhD in studies in energy consumption. You should have seen how proud my father was. I wrote my dissertation on eliminating the additive material’s coefficient in combustion engines. I revolutionized thermodynamics, in a way. “Was that you?” asked Twilight, totally dumbfounded. “Yes.” The white unicorn nodded, with a small smile sitting on her lips. She flicked her mane, basking in the light of Twilight’s admiration. “You blew my mind, Rarity!” “I’m so glad we got to know each other better, but it seems we have finally arrived.” Rarity got out of the cart. She gave the two stallions a seductive glance as she asked them to be here by three in the morning. Graciously, she allowed them some free time to take a look around town, however, she forbade them drinking any kind of alcohol until then. On their way to the gate of the assembly she told all this to Twilight. After that, the two friends mingled among the unicorns in the assembly.