NOW THAT'S REALLY STUPID
Spike the Great & Honorable Brave & Glorious number one assistant little draconic brother to Twilight Sparkle the Princess of Friendship the purple praiseworthy prominent prized student of Celestias School of Gifted Unicorns personally schooled by the Sun Princess herself the mover and shaker of the sun that shines over the land of her little ponies in Equestria the leader who does absolutely nothing to lift a hoof after getting her plot busted wide open by the Bug horse Queen in equestrian combat.
Now where were we? Stupid monolog . . . Dang nab it where were we? Oh yes Spike!
Spike was racing along the cobble stone paths with his buddy Discord. Well not actually racing but running across town to answer the calls of their snuggly crushes to meet them at the Ponyville hospital, Not that it involved any real emergency from injury or attacks from the usual baddies, monsters or uglys that bumped in the night.
"What'd you do this time Discord?" Spike muttered between clinched fangs as he caught his breath "Can't you just lay off the pranks for a while, You know how high strung she can get".
"Really Garbunkle you make it sound like the 'Lord of Chaos' doesn't have any restraint" Discord stopped for dramatic effect an evil grin growing like the weeds in a spring garden full of vegies "Speaking of low blows have you and Miss Priss your living marsh mellow get any further then second base?"
Spike stumbled and developed a sudden case of wing boners in both his airborne used appendages, bellowing like parachutes his speed was reduced to that of doped up snails going up a rain slicked window. As he tumbled back from the point of his stiff little tail he floundered on his back like Tank the tortoise after a lettuce binder. A furious Spike wiggled and wobbled but he couldn't get up, not at all. "DISCORD!" A snap of talon or paw was all he needed. Well not really... You'll see.
Spike awoke in the midst the Stupid map table thingy room surrounded by the most beautiful batch or maybe a half dozen of wide eyed hybrid dragon pony foals "Whoa where'd they come from" He watched the armored flame throwing rug rats scampering and gnawing on the crystal thrones (And some times each other). That stupid map table thingy saw early signs of distress with its edges rounded and ginormous holes where some major cities once existed. Twilight burst out of the basement laboratory yelling "Spike! Spike ! I need you to get with the foal making again! I need more specimens to study so get with it Romeo". A look of pure terror crossed Spikes snout as the manic grin grew on Twilights face. Sooner then later the laser beams were going to be installed on the friggin heads of her pongon foal army... So much for the element of nerd.
"Discord what are are ..." Spike was at a loss for words the images of burning diapers one piece rompers and drooling happy little mutant abominations wrestling with each other as the flashes of laser weapons cut swaths of destruction across the crystal structure and whom had obvious signs of parentage displayed in his wide open emerald eyeballs straight to the brain was too much.
Discord had his fun as the carnage of the Crystal castle faded from view to be replaced by the glass wall of the maternity ward of Ponyville General Hospital with a not so amused alabaster high strung unicorn who's last intact nerve was ready to snap. "Well look who's making it a priority to be on my really short short list! I'm sure Fluttershy would like to hear about how you're thirty two seconds late and what did you do to my Spikey Wikey?" Rarity pulled her precious scales into a hug "He looks absolutely shocked! What did you do!" She had one nerve and easily Discord was on it. "I'm waiting!"
Discord noting her furious fuming ready to kick draconequus flank look and knowing she didn't have the raw power of little Miss Commune Starlight Glimmer laughed in her face pointing at her with an out stretched claw "I gave Spike a preview of foals to come" Discord tapped her horn with his claw once then twice then thrice. Her blush exploded with her hidden desires. Raritys eyes glimmered "I can't see what Fluttershy sees in a beast like you, She's waiting...You, you you".
They turned to look through the glass wall of the maternity ward. Standing in all her buttery glory was Fluttershy holding a basket and in that colorful basket was Opalescence. A proud Angle Bunny stood on top of Flutterbutters head showing HARE TOXIC MASCULINITY as he pointed to his handy work. For with Raritys little innocent Opalescence was a very large litter of mutant Opalanglescense babies!
Spike and Rarity were awestruck with the sight as Discord stared at Fluttershys butt buttery goodness as she carefully set the basket with the other new borne and not so mutant foals. New life innocent, pure and full of the future until.
"The best things about foals is making them" Discord snickered.
A flustered Rarity dropped her dragon and hugged her tail to her chest as it covered everything mare her face burning with embarrassment.
"Well that's what Big Mac says at our little get togethers of Ogres and Oubliettes even Skellinor found it funny" Discord had to lay it on thick "Fluttershy and I are thinking about foals even"
Spike wanted nothing more then to be somewhere else when he heard Raritys response to Discords crass oration.
"I'm sure you and Fluttershy will have fine foals, No offense to our lovely Miss Fluttershy. but my Precious Scales and I will have fabulous little ones, They will be the talk of the town!" Top that you mismatched 'Lord of Tacky Attire'.
"Really" Discord scoffed.
"Yeah!" Spike joyfully chirped.
"Of course my Spikey Wikey" Take that Discord!
"We can have them right now!" Spike said happily his eyes sparkling, filled with the reflection of a very blushing Rarity.
"How amorous my bold dragon, but can't we wait for a more private time?" What have I done?
" I might of zoned out on most of Twilights lectures, but I know we can do it right here right now! It's the perfect time"
"Spikey?" she paused for effect " Are you sure?"
"We can start by kissing, You know. Just look at all the foals! I'm as ready as I can ever be!"
"Spike?"
"Yes, Anything for you my lady!"
"Do you know where foals come from?"
"Well duh, We're at the Hospital already we just have to wait for the delivery of our special dragon pony hybrids".
Spike smiled widely "Do you think they'll come in a basket like the rest or like me at Celestias school in an egg?"
Raritys mouth hit the floor.
Spike happily eyed the foals through the glass and as he did he heard Rarity face plant. Her makeup permanently marking where she impacted hard with that "Now That's Really Stupid" look. Her fabulous curls hiding everything.
Spike turned and could only look in amazement "Right on Rarity! That's the way to go! Pinkie Pie would be proud!"
Discord couldn't be any more amused either.
And Raritys short list got even shorter.