Cass, West Virginia, 1994
It was late in the night. The railroad was in the sidings, and the locomotives...
Hang on a moment, that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Shall we try again?
It was late at night in the town of Cass, West Virginia. The railroad was silent, and the locomotives had been put to bed, resting in the shed and simmering as their boilers cooled. The carriages sat in the sidings, readied for another day of action. The town was, likewise, very quiet. Very quiet indeed. The lights had been turned off, the Last Run had closed for business that day and had been locked up, and the houses were locked and quiet. Mrs Smith and Great Apple snored loudly in their beds, a great noise being produced by the sound of these two people.
Bright Mac took that as his chance. He grabbed a small suitcase he had left prepared by his bed, and pulled on his trademark outfit, before walking over to the door and opening it.
But as he passed his parent’s bedroom, he heard a voice call out. “Mac?”
He froze. To be caught now, now of all times, would be simply awful. But there were no further comments, which relieved him into thinking his parents were asleep.
He went forward and down the stairs, opening the door as he did so, and being very careful to ensure the door did not bang. You should have seen how careful he was to create the illusion that nothing had moved. To any observer that had stepped in after that time, it would seem that he had never left the building at all.
He walked outside and down the path, to the level crossing on the edge of town. He waited. And waited. Why did he wait?
For his pickup.
At that moment, a car arrived, pulling up next to him. The door on the car was opened, and the driver looked at him.
“Are you a mister Bright Mac?” he asked.
“Yes sir, Ah am,” Mac replied.
“I am under instruction to drive you to Yaeger Airport, where you are to take a flight to Los Angeles,” the driver answered. “If all is ready sir, step in.”
Mac needed no prompting, and sat down in the passenger seat. The car sped away into the night, and toward civilisation.
The flight itself was uneventful, and Mac sat on the train to Canterlot, humming as trains roared by hither and thither.
“Seriously, does this railroad ever stop runnin’?” he asked, as the 4th coal train in 6 minutes flew by.
At last he arrived, and exited to the taxi rank to see Grand Pear had his truck parked there.
As they drove over, they discussed the plan.
“The first thing is, ya have mah full permission ta marry Pear,” Grand said. “And Ah have secured the local church as the venue for the evenin’ of February 13th which will spill over inta the mornin’ of February 14th.”
“Valentine’s day,” Mac smiled. “How apt.”
“We’ve already gathered some local dignitaries, such as the Mayor, and the local Deacon has agreed ta officiate.” Grand’s face grew serious. “But ya do understand that there is no goin’ back after this, don’t ya?”
“Ah do,” Mac replied. “And Ah intend ta be the best husband Ah can be.”
The truck turned a corner and pulled up outside the Pearville estate. Grand and Mac walked inside, to find Pear waiting for them.
Grand looked on as his daughter and Bright Mac embraced.
“Ah thought Ah’d never see ya again!” Pear cried.
“For a while, so did Ah,” Mac replied. “We’ve got everythin’ in place. This just leaves one last thin’ ta do before the weddin’.”
“Which is?”
Mac withdrew from the embrace, and opened up a box he had concealed in his pocket. “Pear,” he asked. “Will ya marry me?”
Her response left him in absolutely no doubt. “Yes. Yes, Ah will.”
The night of the wedding came at last. Mac, dressed in suitably formal attire of a grey suit and bow tie (although he did look utterly ridiculous), stood at the front of the church.
“Ya nervous?” asked Grand Pear.
Mac nodded. “Yeah.”
“It’s always hard, the first time.”
Mac laughed. “No, sir, Ah’ve been nervous lotsa times.”
Grand Pear chuckled. “Well, follow the deacon’s words, and all oughtta go ta plan.”
Grand Pear had already vanished off...somewhere (Mac wasn’t entirely sure), when the allotted hour arrived. 23:50, exactly.
The organ started up, an old classic tune (no, not the Wagner).
And then she appeared through the entrance of the church, under the tower, to the tune of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, or to give it the proper title, the ‘Hochzeitmarsch’. Grand Pear, as was appropriate tradition, had taken on the honour of walking his daughter up the aisle.
And she looked beautiful in her white wedding dress and veil. Mac was stunned, so much so he was briefly convinced he was dreaming.
But, thankfully for him, it was no dream at all. Pear arrived at the front, to stand in front of him, and smiled. “High, sweetheart,” she said.
“It’s wonderful ta see ya, Buttercup,” Mac smiled.
“Aww, yer such a sweetheart!” Pear blushed. “Where’d ya get that one from?”
“Ah just made it up.”
Once the organ had finished, given that the organist was rather indulgent with the rubato, the deacon came forward to speak.
“Gathered friends,” he said, “We are gathered here both today and tomorrow to witness the union of Bright MacIntosh and Pear Butter.”
There was the obligatory extract from 1 Corinthians 13, read by Burnt Oak, but at long last they came onto the vows. To many people’s surprise, Pear chose to attempt them from memory.
“Ah, Pear Butter, take you, Bright MacIntosh, to be mah husband, ta love and ta hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, and this is mah solemn vow.”
Then it was Bright’s turn. The nerves as he spoke were apparent as he said those very words which would bind him and Pear together forever (or so he hoped).
“Ah, Bright MacIntosh, take you, Pear Butter, to be mah wife, ta love and ta hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, and this is mah solemn vow.”
After some more words from the deacon, the conclusion came. “And I hereby pronounce them-”
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!”