//------------------------------// // So, basically, reality's not what it seems, and I'm about to demonstrate this to you! (Don't try this at home!) // Story: Twilight has made a discovery; Applejack has super powers (or has she?) // by Andy Ray //------------------------------// Everypony was left stunned at Pinkie's sudden change of mood. "Well, -- muttered Twilight, still shocked, -- here goes one listener. Only one left to bother". "Uh, excuse me, Twah-ilight. Ah-i've got places to be, so you'd betta hurry, before Ah-i'm late". At this Twilight snapped back with a start and quickly remembered what she was here after: "Oh, right, so, basically -- most ponies would consider reality the most unshakable thing in the world. Anything can be proven to be false. Reality, however, cannot". "Yeah, so?" -- Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Well, it appears, reality itself is not as steady, as it might be! There exist proofs to that! I researched this subject yesterday in my library and got some spell samples to demonstrate it!" "Well... -- Applejack didn't know, what to say, words lost. -- That's nah-ice and all". Twilight went on, explaining her theory to a dumbfounded Applejack, who seemed to have lost the track of the things back when Twilight first opened her mouth. "...hey, Applejack! Applejack! Are you even listening to me?!" "Wah! -- gave Applejack a start. -- What? Uh... Wh... what didja say, Twah-ilight?" -- she asked apologetically. Twilight sighed exasperatedly: "Gurgh! Have you not been paying attention to me?!" -- she asked angrily. "W-well..." -- began Applejack, embarrassed. Twilight let out another exasperated sigh: "For Celestia's sake! Why is NOPONY LISTENING TO ME!!!" -- she exclaimed and threw her hooves up in the air. "O-okey, Twah-ilight, look, Ah-i've got some places to be rah-ight now, so, iffin ya excuse me, Ah-i shall go". Twilight's state was indescribable at best! Teeth clenched, an angry glare blazing in her eyes, smoke blowing from her nostrils, head tilted forward, so her eyes looked from-under her brow -- she looked, like she was about to explode, for real this time! "Whoa!" -- yelped Applejack and proceeded to running away as fast, as possible, because... "YOU GET BACK HERE, YOU UNGRATEFUL LISTENER!" -- roared Twilight, giving chase not long after. Meanwhile at the Canterlot philharmonic an orchestra transitioned to the next composition. "Playing now is an arrangement of "Yakety sax" from "The Benny Hill show"!" The audience applauded. The orchestra made the first notes. If the aforementioned orchestra had been playing anywhere in vicinity of this little tale's events, no doubt would it have been most hilarious for any possible viewers. For any, except for Applejack. "Gotta go fast! Gotta go fast!" -- muttered she under her breath, all effort put into keeping up the speed. No time to turn and look, if Twilight got any closer! She is no farther, that's for sure. All set to catch up with and to stop the running-away pony, Twilight felt her determination fill her up. Had she been able to use the strength it was giving to her, she would have used it in any way possible to stop Applejack! Actually, wait, she thought. Why couldn't she use the abilities she had already? She summoned her magic and cast a teleportation spell. Startled, Applejack barely managed to skid to a halt and not to crash into a suddenly having appeared Twilight. "You. Are. Going. To. Listen. To me. No. Matter. How. Badly. You. Want. Not to", -- she said sternly, emphasising every word. "No! Go away, Twah-ilight! What's gotten into ya?" -- cried out Applejack, anger entering her voice. But Twilight didn't seem to be listening. Gathering her magic once again, she prepared to encase Applejack into some kind of a detention spell, so she didn't get away. Yell or not, the time had come to get the hay outta there! Applejack, in a sudden burst of despair, made a mad dash forward and tackled Twilight to the ground, before she could do anything significant. Twilight oomphed, as she fell, her magic undone in an instant. Not wasting a second, Applejack quickly snatched Twilight's notes from her grasp: "Sorry, Twah-ilight. Ah-i've got work to do. Ah-i will be sure to read your great discovery, but now is not the best tah-ime, ya know". Twilight rose onto her hooves. Applejack could clearly see fury written all over her face. "Well, gotta go, bah-ye!" But no sooner did she make to bolt out of there, than Twilight took a magical grip on her: "First Pinkie's busy catching somepony inexistent, -- she spoke, suppressed emotions boiling through her voice, -- then Fluttershy flees as soon, as I forget the very basics of what I discovered... then I am so frustrated I cannot even talk to anypony! Then YOU make a promise to listen to me, when I get back with my notes! Then I and Pinkie stumble upon you, and it's two of you already to listen to my discovery! Then one of you disappears, and I am only left with one bucking listener! -- her voice rose with every sentence she spat. -- Only for that listener to make a terrible excuse, that she has to work!!! -- she shouted that so loudly even Princess Celestia would have heard that, had she been a bit closer to the source. -- I am not, you hear that, Applejack? Not going to lose my only listener just because she's got things to do!" And what was left for Applejack to do? Only to unleash her hidden power, for nopony knew that, but she did have some. Surprise? It sure is so! "Ya know, Twah-i, let's make it fair. You only show me what ya've got, if Ah-i getta show you what Ah-i have". At this Twilight even paused, stopping her deadly explanation. She contemplated what Applejack had said. "Oh, really? -- baneful sarcasm entered her voice. -- Well, whatever have you got, Applejack? -- and she started mocking her every way possible. -- A mighty rope that could tie any villain up? -- she chuckled, pacing. -- Or, maybe, a lucky horseshoe? -- she pondered a bit. -- Some irresistibly delicious cider, I guess? Not, that I'd like to taste some right now, anyway, but still". Here Applejack smirked a bit. Now was her time to troll the Obsessed One: "Um... Nope, none of above. Ya know, now, that Ah-i think of it... Ah-i'm not gonna show to ya, Twah-ilight!" Another vinyl scratch might be appropriate here, as Twilight froze for a second from Applejack's sudden retort. When she finally found her ability to speak, she only managed: "Ex... cuse me? -- she sputtered for a few seconds. -- Why?" Applejack only chose to be silent in defiance. "Tell me! At once!" -- demanded Twilight, growing annoyed of this resistance. Damn, Applejack sure had very strong determination to match Twilight's. It seemed, she'd need something more, than just that, to achieve her goal. Maybe... "OK, -- seemingly defeated, conceded Twilight. -- I give up. What have you got, Applejack?" Applejack only smirked and, eyes closed, her head turned in defiance, simply said: "No way am Ah-i tellin' ya". At that Twilight made a frown: "B... but!.. But, Applejack!.." -- perhaps, pleading will be the solution? Applejack only grew more cocky: "Go, buck, some, apples!" -- she said, as if daring her to punish her. "Pwetty pwea-a-ase!" -- made Twilight a cute pout. Seeing that, Applejack chortled: "In the name of zap-apples are ya doin'?" -- she laughed. Well, that didn't work, thought Twilight. Annoyance overtook her. "Will you STOP that?! -- she exclaimed. -- What's the big deal? Just spill the beans, and I'll present you my research!" Applejack's smirk only got even wider: "You know... Ah-i don't wanna listen to what you've got! So Ah-i ain't telling anythin'!" -- as she said that, triumph overwhelmed her. Take that, Twilight! Baring her teeth, Twilight growled, annoyed at this turn of events. Had she been a bomb, she would no doubt have exploded -- so aggravated she was, even Pinkie hadn't aggravated her so much, as Applejack! Brute force? Well, let's see, how that turns out to be. "For the last time... Applejack... -- she growled. -- Will you kindly tell me, what you've got, so I may tell you, what I've got, and spare ourselves a lot of oncoming trouble?" Not intimidated even in the slightest, Applejack firmly shook her head: "Ain't gonna show to you, Twah-ilight. Ah-i really ain't up to this rah-ight now", -- with an almost apologetic smile, albeit not so truly apologetic, she finished: "Sorry". "Oh, so tha-a-at's how we are, huh? You refuse to show to me, don't you?" "...Yep". "Well, then... -- Twilight telekinetically brought her notes forward for Applejack to see. -- I didn't spend time researching this subject for nothing!" -- she started flipping through the pages, searching for the one she needed. As she kept on flipping, she let out no word, suddenly all ominous. This itched Applejack for no obvious reason, although she didn't let her cocky attitude falter. "Aha! Now, -- exclaimed Twilight, as she finally found the page she'd needed, -- prepare, o thou apple pony, for my demonstration of a special ability I learnt over night! May reality return safe and sound at the end of this, for it is going to be ripped apart before the gr-r-reat and powerful m-m-me-e-e!!!" She posed dramatically, almost copying Trixie at that. Her horn lit, as she started to work her arcane magic, eyes shut from the effort. "Uh, Twah-ilight? -- asked Applejack, concern showing through her still fairly cocky attitude. -- Now, what in the sweet Apple's cida are ya goin' t..." "Reisanil, theunisaho, buggow, yu-u-ub! D'lwagg yub! Marre-gol-woh haz isservinue eethe, nozjule-lin na zyttilla-irre!" -- shouted out Twilight seemingly nonsense. And... SPELL ACTIVATED! * Reality changed slightly. * All things, up to this point deemed hidden or invisible, became very distinct. * Nopony was happy about that. * Twilight proceeded anyway. * She was filled with DETERMINATION. TSSSSSHHHHSHHHHPTS! BADOOOOOOOOMMMM! REALITY We really mean it this time. * Reality, as anyone perceives it... * ... BUMMM! BUMMM! * Reality... is cracking. BUMMM! KABOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!! REALITY SHATTERED! "Twah-ilight! What'id you do?!" -- cried out Applejack, fright overwhelming her. "That's simple, Applejack! -- said Twilight, clearly enjoying everything that was happening and herself. -- As I was about to tell to you, reality is not what we see it as. In fact, what we consider reality, is merely an illusion! Now, isn't this a proof?" -- she asked with a happy smile of a pupil presenting her work to the class. Whatever Twilight meant by reality really didn't seem as real, as the world had before. Things ceased being just plain things and became a very complex set of components, each as complex, as what it composed. If one looked carefully enough, he would grasp the world's workings! Applejack, however, hadn't time for grasping concepts: "Twah-ilight! Dontcha realise this is dangerous to... to... do whateva ya just did! If... if ya don't change it back, then!.." "Well, AJ... What, you said, had you got?" -- inquired Twilight, a faint shadow of a smirk on her face, as she was approaching her, for she knew, Applejack wouldn't get away from answering this time! Applejack only remained silent, clearly scared of the madness surrounding her. "Oh, you may not answer this! -- said Twilight cheerfully. -- After all... -- she stopped, and her smirk got wider, turning an excited and somewhat ominous grin, -- ...I can find it out all on my own!" Her horn activated yet again... A sound effect followed her actions, and before her eyes appeared... "Huh??!" -- was Twilight's only response, as she watched in bewilderment the new form Applejack had assumed. "Twah-ilight... did ya... just do... what Ah-i think ya did?" Twilight checked quickly her notes to make sure this wasn't yet another illusion. It couldn't be! No way!.. "I'm not a fool! -- she let out frantically. -- Reality or illusion, I can still recognise a pair of wings, when I see one!" She cast yet another spell to shatter any left-over illusions, which might possibly remain... Computerised beeps filled everything, going off faster and faster. When they reached their maximal speed, a bright white light filled everypony present's vision and someone's voice (robotic, it appeared, but how a robot made its way to Equestria, shall remain a mystery) yelled out dramatically: "Oh, yes!" And the white light faded. And it became dark. And darker. And yet darker... When it seemed, it couldn't become any darker, a set of spotlights turned on suddenly, outlining Applejack's new form... And out of this form was protruding... "No! -- exclaimed once more surprised Twilight, not believing her eyes. -- I refuse to believe this is an unicorn horn I spot!" "Oh-h-h-h mah-y... -- Applejack's voice made her known to all present (even if the only present there was Twilight alone). -- If ya did what Ah-i think ya did, that can only mean one thing". Twilight simply stood there, watched her shadowed figure and listened, awestruck and utterly confused. "You're desperate for the premier of mah-y new horn". "No..." -- Twilight whispered, still refusing to believe the sight before her eyes. For this whole time?.. "How rude... -- scolded her Applejack mildly. -- How rude of ya it was to pesta me with your silly discovery! Howeva much ya wanted mah-y attention, Twah-ilight!.. ya had betta have not gone 'n chased me lah-ike that! Lucky for you, -- continued she not so sternly, -- Ah-i've been aching to show what Ah-i've got off for a long tah-ime, mah-yself, -- with that she made a step forward. -- So... to be fair, Ah-i should get mah-yself a handsome reward for being exposed to your actions' consequences", -- and she frowned, though that wasn't as much noticeable, as it would have been without the poor lighting. Twilight... well, how her brain hadn't molten into jelly, shall remain an even greater mystery, than how a robot made its way to Equestria (or how Pinkie eats so much sugar without as much as toothache or plays ten instruments at once -- not to mention with her mouth taken away from her! -- or how her Pinkie-sense works...)! Unless her brain actually had... But, if it had, Twilight wouldn't have been able to shake herself and to cast yet another spell. What could go wrong now? Not only did the horn not go away, but Applejack got a pair of wings as well, becoming thus... "An alicorn??!! Celestia help me-e-e!!! What the hay has gone wro-o-ong??!!" "Twah-ilight, Twah-ilight, Twah-ilight! -- pretended Applejack to be scolding her. -- Didn't ya hear what Ah-i told ya? Ya oughtn't to be so rude! Ah-i am gonna show you all of it very soon, dontcha fret!" -- she promised to her with an amused smile. Twilight's frantic attempts to make her spell work out right only caused everything to go more wrong with each attempt: after another cast a thing would reveal itself to be hiding some great, even shocking secret, as would Applejack. Being a princess had been all but an illusion, for Applejack was secretly a changeling... ...which only'd been a Nightmare night costume... ...under which an actual Nightmare Moon had been hiding!.. ...Only for that mare to be revealed as Princess Luna... ...who'd been Celestia this whole time! Nah, just kidding, she'd been a banana! In fact, Twilight was shocked to find out she'd been a banana herself as well!.. ...But was she really? Because, if she'd been... wouldn't she have been twilightlicious? (A "rim-shot" was played immediately after for no obvious reason...) "He-hee! -- giggled someone. Oh, hi there! -- Seriously, tee-hee? "Twilight... licious"?" Cracking with internal laughter was none else, than Pinkie Pie herself. That is, if she could have been named Pinkie, for, what she really was, was... well, were three things, namely: a pin, a key and a pie (bring the "rim-shot" in!). Um... Nope, there were not three things, but two, actually: a pink Internet Explorer window and a pie. A pink-frosting-covered pie, actually. There were words of frosting of another shade of colour pink, which read: "Happy earth-pony-day, Microsoft Pinc. I. E. //Math.PI!" Scratch that! It was a Raspberry Pi computer with a, mind you, licensed copy of Microsoft Windows Pinksta. Naturally there was the pink Internet Explorer window opened on fimfiction[.]net. The pie had been gone. On the computer's screen showed up an animated Pinkie Pie. She then charged at the screen and, breaking it, leapt out of it. The computer screamed from pain and seemed to die (that much could be said from looking at its Pink Screen Of Death). The pony then said: "You just can't get enough, huh? Aren't you tired of all these puns? Because I... -- she took a box of sweet potatoes out of nowhere and held it up. -- ...yam!" -- as if on cue, another "rim-shot" was played. Zap! "Hey! My yam!" -- yelped Pinkie, for her precious sweet potatoes had just been zapped to smithereens by Twilight. "OK, I'm done! I! Am! So-o-o done!!!" -- screamed Twilight. "No, you're not, silly! You just zapped the yam! -- tried Pinkie to make a pun again. -- What you probably are is... tyred!" And she was indeed, for instead of hooves she had now a set of four tyres. Someone, please, play us a "rim-shot"! "Yes! Yes, I am tired of all this madness!!! Where in the name of hay is Applejack?!!" "Why, in hay, of course!" -- smiled Pinkie cheerfully, pointing at a hay bale a couple of steps away. Ha, a clever one! "Thanks!" "Thanks?! -- um-m-m, Twilight was rather wound up. Not just because a wound-up-toy key in her back indicated that much, but because her nerves were not going to last for long as well! -- You should be thanking me, Pinkie, for not blowing you on the spot for not being helpful! I mean, shall I ever get down to the bottom of it???" -- asked she dramatically, despair and a bit of hysteria in her voice. And no, she wouldn't, for it would take a journey down the abyss she was currently above to get to the bottom of it! (Badoom-pss!) "No matter, how hard I try, -- continued she, -- I just can't discover the truth! I can't tell an illusion from reality any more! And the other way around too! -- that said, she clutched her head in her hooves (or were they still wheels???), almost weeping by this point. -- I am officially not following! Please, Pinkie, be a dearie and get a hold of the situation! You're the only pony I know, who actually can handle the unexplainable! Please, Pinkie! -- repeated she, miserable. -- Or, I fear, -- she added, -- reality is not going to return safe and sound, much less my brains!.. If that jelly even can be called brains, that is..." -- added she after a short pause. With that all said she whimpered pathetically and curled into a ball, with which Pinkie didn't pass up an opportunity to play for a while. Then she remembered herself and stopped: "Oh, yeah, r-right, s-so... um... There's got to be an explanation, hasn't it? I mean, Mister The One Behind It All! Please, there's got to be!" And the response did come. For Pinkie heard a distant laughter, which she recognised as that of... "O-o-oh-h-h! You. Are. In-ge-e-enious! -- exclaimed she, spirits lifted. Literally as well, for she hovered above the ground (even if it was no real ground any more). -- Ahem. Worry not, Twilight! I can think of only perfectly logical explanation there may be! -- with these words said she pulled a blackboard (or rather a black surf board) out of nowhere and scribbled something quickly. -- Here! Try this! And... um-m-m, please, don't ask me of "where'd I" and "how'd I", huh? Just... don't, pretty please? I won't bear a loss of such a smart friend!" -- she pleaded almost with tears in her eyes, afraid of what could have happened to Twilight's... jellybrain (badoom-pss!), should she have tried questioning. But that she wasn't going to do. Rather she did as suggested, and took a glance at the surf board. Written on its surface (yes, the surf board really had a face... a surf face (badoom-pss)!) was an instruction for her to execute. Now, normally Twilight would have thought to herself, that that could not have been possible, that there wouldn't have been an explanation to what she saw, because -- did Pinkie REALLY KNOW MAGIC??! Naturally the brain would have shut down and never recovered after that... Y-yeah, it would have... "Um-m-m... Mister... The OBIA?.." ...But Pinkie was worried for naught, for did Twilight not question the illogical... "Phew! You bastard scared me outta my mane!" ...and did she execute it. A strange sound of something revving filled the space. A "click" could be heard. "Twilight! Won't you look at this!" -- exclaimed Pinkie excitedly and tried to shake the ball that was Twilight. Who uncurled and took a good look at everything. No more was the world what it might or might not have been, just a simple plane of some unknown material. Above it was the simple, ordinary sky with ordinary stars and an ordinary moon. Wait, the moon wasn't ordinary. In fact, no ordinary celestial body is square. The moon, however, was. Instead of round it was square. "What". That was all poor Twilight could say, before her brain initiated the Purple Screen Of Death procedure, and then a reboot. "Oh no! YOU! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!" Ju-u-ust kidding, Pinkie, this critical process didn't die! Rather it froze temporarily, before it resumed. And, before Pinkie could express her immense rage at whoever could have been guilty for Twilight's misery (could anyone?), the laughter from before rang out again. Boy, what a hysterical laughter it was! Whoever was laughing that hard didn't die, only because, if she had died, there would have been night no more. "P... Pinkie! Do you hear that?.. Isn't it?.. Princess Luna???" And her it was indeed, rolling on the ground laughing not so far away from the two: "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-a-a!" -- did the night princess holler, her fore hooves clutching to her stomach, for naturally did such an extreme guffaw hurt! "Now, -- squinted Pinkie Pie, -- where'd I see that one befo-o-ore?.." She remembered Rainbow Dash howling with an almost exactly same laughter, back when she'd run into her, searching for Twilight. "Yes, I do remember, thank you a lot! Now, if you would kindly shake Her Majesty back to her royal senses, please!" "Who? -- gave Twilight a start. -- Me?" "No, Twilight, the One Behind It All!" "Who?" "No! The One Behind It All is not Who, silly head! Can't you tell 'em apart? You're supposed to run a library!" "Pinkie, what!.. Huh-h-h, Pinkamena Diana Pie, please, stop screwing with my mind! Who's the one behind this all?" "No!" A pause followed. Then Twilight asked, confused out of her skull: "What??!" "Neither!" "...Pinkie!.." "NO! Do I look like the One Behind It All?? He's not even a pony!.." "Pinkie, I am dead serious here right now. You had better stop goofing around and, please, help me to fix all this insanity, or you are no friend of mine any further, ya hear!!!" Wow! That's a lot for one to take upon himself, no kidding! "O-o-oh-h-h my!.. -- interrupted them Princess Luna, having somewhat caught her breath and still panting heavily. -- By our sister... Twilight!.." "Please, Your Majesty! -- pleaded Pinkie, concerned, -- breathe and choke with laughter not, for Equestria shall not bear its princess' penetration!" "Wow, Pinkie, -- noted Twilight, amazed, -- where'd you learn such royal a language from?" "Thou hast no idea, Twilight..." -- muttered Pinkie thoughtfully, smiling brightly afterwards. Twilight did not succeed in holding it in and burst out giggling, and then cackling too. And did the merry laughter fill the boring plane of the unknown material under the square moon! And did it echo throughout the land, and there did be much happiness and fun! "Ah! -- sighed Twilight contentedly. She was lying on her back, relaxed, filled not with determination, but with mirth, a happy smile on her face. -- Have I told you, how happy I feel right now!" "Sure, Twilight! -- answered Pinkie, lying near her head to head, the angle between their bodies obtuse. -- I would be lying, if I told you hadn't". "But thou art lying, Pinkie", -- made Luna a notion absent-mindedly. Her Majesty did not disdain lying along with her subjects, not after she had had such hearty two lungfuls of laughter watching one of said subjects rip reality to pieces, then freak out because of it, and then... Well, suffice it to say, she had seen Twilight's misadventures from above. Despite her mood Twilight could not help but cringe ever so slightly at Pinkie's extremely bad pun. Her smile did not falter, however, for her tired brain could not worry itself and work up over anything that could nag at her overly logical mind. Her discovery been made known, she felt she deserved her time to be relaxing. With Pinkie, no less. And with Princess Luna. Strange, she thought. Reality did turn out to be a mere illusion, but not the kind of an illusion she would've expected... "Well, most definitely was it an entertainment to, how ye say, "hang out" with you, but, alas, it is our time to set the moon, -- decreed the lunar princess, as everyone got up. -- Therefore we must leave you". "But, Princess Luna-a-a!" -- whined Pinkie, as a filly would. Twilight only chortled upon this: "Pinkie, it really is time for us to wake up". "But, Twilight! WHERE ELSE CAN YOU HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!!" Twilight only smiled: "Where else, if not out of beds!" "But we are out of beds!" -- answered Pinkie to her. "Huh?" "Yeah, if we were in beds... -- she paused, intrigue intensifying, -- ...would we stand on top of this rock?.." Princess Luna seemed to have caught what Pinkie was trying to say, and tried to stifle giggles with a hoof. "Pinkie, -- came out Twilight's reply a bit flatly. -- We are standing on top of this... -- she knocked her hoof a couple of times on the unknown material this plane was made of. -- Well, whatever this is. What is it, anyway?" "Why, Twilight! -- grinned Pinkie so widely Twilight all stiffened up internally. -- Isn't it obvious?! We are out of beds, because we are not inside this... bedrock!" Twilight's face fell in an unsatisfied fashion, as yet another "rim-shot" rang out above the plane of bedrock, while Princess Luna gave up on trying to stifle her laughs and guffawed openly now. "Yes, it is time for us to go", -- muttered Twilight, as she lifted her fallen face and reattached it to its rightful place. As the lunar princess finally calmed down and got ready to perform the waking, Twilight glanced at the world around her for the last time: "I will miss my discovery", -- she whispered. "Do not, Twilight! -- cheered her Pinkie. -- Just imagine, how much fun we could have all together, when we wake up!" "But I wish I'd really made a discovery! Pinkie! Do you realise the time I'd spent researching this subject?!" -- exclaimed she. "Oh, worry not, my nerdy friend!" "I am not "nerdy"!" -- muttered Twilight under her breath, a slight frown clouding her face features. Pinkie just smiled, finding her frown all too adorable. Were any shippers here... But that won't happen. Not in this story, anyway. "Get prepared, o ye ponies, to meet the real reality! -- announced Princess Luna. -- May your mood remain as good, as can be, from the sun's rise till its setting! -- she activated her horn, which glowed bright white. -- So end this bizarre dream and start a new morning!" SPELL ACTIVATED! * The bright white light enveloped everything one could see. All visible things faded into it. * Everypony felt themselves losing the grip on reality... * No more could they see. No more perceive. * Instead they felt themselves having to make up, what was happening and going to happen. * That was the feeling one might get upon their waking up... TSSSSSHHHHSHHHHPTS! Twilight flickered her eyes open slowly. Before her sight came a vision of a desk, littered with scrolls, books et al.. For some time she stayed rested at the desk, until she finally tore her head off it and shook it. Yes, it was a desk. Her desk, to be precise. She turned and looked around: she was in her library. "Huh?.." Was it really... just... a dream? Dazed, she'd sit like this, in a strange trance, Celestia knows for how long... Her train of thought was interrupted, however, when a baby dragon came in. He was muttering something and carrying some items needed for his chores. Upon seeing Twilight up he turned his attention to her and exclaimed with a bright face: "Oh, hi, Twilight, good morning! Man! Here I thought you'd be sleeping till the sunset! -- and he approached her. -- Man, you must be hungry, aren't you? Are you OK? You stayed up so long last night! I'd thought, you'd have worked yourself... down to the head-bone!" -- as he said that, trying to hide his grin, he pointed at her unicorn horn. At the mention of her "head-bone" Twilight flinched: "Spuh... S-Spike! D... did ya... really? Just make... that pun?" -- she asked, incredulous and a bit suspicious. There had to be NO way puns still were trying to plague her life like that! All Spike did was laugh: "Ha-ha! Cheer up, Twilight! -- he cried out. -- Why don't you go take a rest from aw-w-all these books, huh? C'mon, Twi! Since when haven't you been outside recently?" -- he made to take a grip on her and to lead her to the door. "Spike! -- tried Twilight to interrupt him. -- A breakfast should be nice, shouldn't it?" At this Spike stopped with a start and said, embarrassed: "Oh, y-yeah, right! I'm on my way!" -- and he zipped to the kitchen. Meanwhile Twilight took her time to wrap her head around what had happened. She looked at the scroll she'd been napping on. Written on it were the very words she remembered herself to write down: "Therefore reality, as we perceive it, might not be what it seems to be..." Did... did that mean?.. "Here's your breakfast!" -- zipped Spike in with a meal. "Thanks..." -- thanked him Twilight absent-mindedly, as a thought was ringing through her head: "Does that mean, I was making a research on it?" As she ate her breakfast, she flipped through her endless notes, all on the subject of reality's possible unreality. There even was a spell sample to demonstrate its feebleness... "No way! -- Twilight thought to herself. -- I... I!.. I must be going insane!" After she finished her meal, she decided first-hoof to test the spell out to see, if it really worked. As Spike had told her, she went out. Poniville was hustling and bustling, as the normal life was going on. Everything normal, nothing unusual. Finally Twilight found a not so much crowded place to test her spell. There was a reason she chose for less ponies to witness this. She wasn't really sure herself, if anything she'd dreamt of was actually real events taking place. Tell she about it all -- would anypony actually believe her? She unfolded the slip of paper containing the spell and prepared to put it to the test. What would come out of it?.. "Well, -- she muttered through her teeth, -- come what may..." -- Her horn flashed: "Here goes nothing!.." But before it started to show any signs of working... "Hi-i-i the-e-ere, Twi-i-ili-i-ight!!!" Twilight only registered, she was tackled to the ground by somepony with a shrill voice. And a pink puffy mane. "Oh, Twilight! Can you belie-e-eve what I dreamt this morning about!" -- Pinkie all but shone with excitement, her smile finding few room on her face, so big it was. Surprisingly, she wasn't ranting. Twilight even took an appropriate pause, before finally asking, a bit annoyed: "Let me guess, Pinkie. Were there puns in this dream?" "Yes!" -- elicited Pinkie excitedly. "Her Lunar Majesty?" "Yes!!" "Me freaking out?" "Yes!!!" Twilight paused, trying to remember anything else... "I had exactly same things too". "Well! Guess what!!!" -- yelled Pinkie out. Then began waiting expectantly. ... Finally Twilight gave in: "Ye-e-es, Pinkie?" "You. Aren't. Gonna... BE-LIE-E-EVE IT!!! -- truly did her excitement know no bounds! She got off of Twilight and started bouncing, her eyes closed. -- I may just explode before I even told you what!.." "Pinkie-ie-ie!!! -- screamed Twilight. -- What is it?!" Pinkie stopped her bouncing and opened her eyes: "Too excited to tell! Sorry! He-hee! Just, uh... S-start this spell, m-maybe?" -- she asked, as if disturbed by something. Twilight squinted and tried to find a spark of mischief in those devious blue eyes of her... but found none. She sighed and proceeded to performing the spell again... AND THAT'S HOW TWILIGHT SPARKLE SUMMONED a dog that would annoy every citizen of Equestria for the rest of this story! AND THAT'S ALL, FOLKS! "Wai-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it!!!" Out of nowhere Pinkie Pie appeared and stared at somepony inexistent... "Don't you behave like you're not here! -- tried she talking to no one. -- I know, what you did!" -- and she continued staring angrily at... urm... someone?.. Which... she was accusing?.. -- "You won't bear to write this nonsense all over again! -- she spoke very slowly, stretching her words. -- Because you're tired!" -- a pause. -- "WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?! I'm trying to monologue here! Hello-o-o! Your narration only disrupts it and makes it sound, like YOU are NOT part of the story!!! [taking breath] Anyway... As I was about to say: you think, you may just LEAVE it all?!.. Leave the story hanging?!" Look, Pink... "No, you look here, Mr The One Behind It All!" -- but that was all she could force herself to say... No matter, how hard she tried to speak... Mwa-ha-ha! Words won't leave her mouth! "M-m-m! M-m-m!!!" -- muffled screams of indignation could be heard. But were they really to be meaningful? If anyone remembers, wasn't the second chapter spent trying to get the story back on track, huh?.. Pinkie made to proceed resenting... but then remembered something: "Yeah, ri-i-ight, it sure was!" Then... obviously... i-it is unwise to make this story longer, than it is going to turn out to be?.. Right?.. Pinkie looked with puppy-dog eyes. She, um... She's clearly unsatisfied... But... w-well... What can be done? Can anything?! Is this story really just to make Pinkie happy?! What about "Sad" or "Tragedy" stories?!! ARE THEY REALLY NOT AN OPTION?!!!.. ...Meh. Was worth a shot, though... "No, I mean, it's OK, I-I j-just... -- hey, did that pony just speak??! -- Uh... Um... w-w-well, y-y-yes, I-I m-mean... I w-won't, if... -- she sniffed. -- ...G... go ahead and... -- another sniff, -- ...d-do it!.. W-why wontcha, huh?" -- damn, sometimes a narrator just can't do their job! Why, oh, why can't they just hug and comfort a sad pony?! "W-why, th-th-thank y-you, M-mis... ter!" -- another sniff -- and no more narration! Come here!.. "Hello?.." Twilight Sparkle looked around, confused. Had... had nothing changed?? Incredulous, she stared at everything around her and tried to figure out, what had happened. Reality did not seem to be any different from what she'd observed. "Huh. W-well... -- the words wouldn't come. -- O-one more... time?.. I guess?.." But, before she could even try to proceed to spell-casting... "Oink!" -- honestly, that was supposed to be a chortle. A very grunting chortle. As if someone had been trying to stifle it... "Whee! Whee!" -- now it was a literal pig squeal... Eh-heh-heh!.. B-before it actually started to resemble a normal laughter... Yeah, "normal"... Words will do no justice here to the live sound of this... erm... yeah, beautiful laughter! To say, someone was dying of it, would be just plain amateurish. No, that someone was literally rolling on the ground, breathing in a broken breath, unable sometimes to properly inhale, stopping breathing for a couple of lo-o-ong seconds; then extruding yet another squeal of hearty laughter!.. ...Uh. L-l... let us stop here and now, before this story loses its narrator!.. Eh-heh-heh-heh... Heh... heh. ... ... . . . T-Twilight turned to look around and see, who that could possibly be -- only to find... "P??!.. Princess Luna??!!!" The poor princess had been exhausted. She lay with a smile stretched, tired. Internally, however, she was still laughing! If there had been a laughter hell... Poor Princess, let's end her sufferings! Akhem-khem, that is, when this story ends, which will end, when Twilight... uh... well, let's proceed, shan't we? Eh-heh-heh!.. A-a-anywa-a-ay!.. There is no telling, how close Twilight was to giving an actual screen of death! She threw the slip with the spell hard to the ground (which succeeded somehow despite it being just a piece of paper...) and started to stomp it. Whoa, Twilight!.. She then picked it up with her magic and incinerated it. Then resurrected it and burnt it again. And again. And again! And again... And... OK, Twilight, please, stop it now. "A-a-ah-h-h!!!" -- was Twilight screaming, ready to take it no more. Oops! She then literally blew on the spot... Er, ex... cuse?.. "Oh my Celestia-a-a! -- managed Her Majesty to shriek, then somehow to get a hold of herself. -- That sure was an entertainment, no kiddin'!" -- as she was saying that, she... ... ... SHE. TOOK. A DISGUISE. OFF... ...Applejack. For this whole time... this was Applejack?! "Huh, welp, Twah-ilight, are ya satisfah-ied with what ya got, eh? -- asked Applejack with a mild smirk on her freckled face. -- Dinn't Ah-i tell ya Ah-i had somethin' up mah-y Stetson or what? Heh, so much for the "reality's an illusion" thing, I guess?" And with that she proceeded to her unfinished work. ...But wait! Reality's been a dream, and the real reality!.. Is it?.. WHAT IS IT??! ...Twilight woke up. In her library. Yet again. "And why have I a feeling, that I am still dreaming somehow?.." -- asked she, not really surprised. She hopped onto her hooves and walked to the table. This time she woke up in her bed, which probably meant something. Or didn't. On the table still was all that paper stuff from before. Here was her research... Here was the spell... "No, -- she said simply and pushed it away angrily. -- Just NO! No more "reality", thanks!" -- she spat. "What was that, Twilight?" -- came in and asked her a sleepy Spike, yawning. "Say, Spike... -- began Twilight, somewhat creepily. -- What if I told you... reality was a mere illusion?" "Be it what it may, Twilight, if you ask me, -- grumbled Spike. -- Did you even sleep? Just look at yourself!" Twilight wouldn't bother herself and do as told... but she really had a look of a mare that hadn't had enough sleep. And so had Spike, though not a look of a mare. Because he was a dragon. "Spike, listen: if "reality" is just an illusion... then how about I zap you?!" "Huh?! -- gave Spike a start. -- Twilight! W-wait! Y-you're tired! Y-you've got to get some sleep!" But Twilight was already charging her horn... "No-o-o!" -- screamed Spike and took off. "Oh, Spike, no, you don't!" -- shook her head Twilight, giving chase. ...Then she stopped. An even more brilliant idea visited her mind: "Oh! I must be really going insane! -- and she laughed. As if crazed. Boy!.. -- Why should I zap Spike??!" "Yeah, you shouldn't zap me, Twilight! -- peaked Spike from outside warily. -- What you should is probably get some sleep! -- and he entered the room he had left, carefully approaching a frazzled Twilight. -- Please... -- he put his claw over her shoulder, -- go with me, won't you?" Silence. "Uh, Twilight?" "Should I really go?.." -- asked Twilight, her voice even more crazy, than before. "Um... y-yes?" "I should really... -- having said that, she moved, apparently into her bedroom, -- ...really zap myself INSTEAD!" Which she did. With an audible "zap!". "NO!!! TWI-I-ILI-I-IGHT!!!.." * WORRY NOT, FOLKS! TWILIGHT DID NOT ELIMINATE HERSELF! * WHAT SHE DID WAS MERELY AN ILLUSION... * NO. * INSTEAD OF AN ILLUSION HOW ABOUT... [Twring!] * ...FICTION? FICTION... SHATTERED?.. To my most faithful student. Dear Twilight! Heart full of sorrow and regret, I, Princess Celestia, your -- I dare hope -- good friend and the elder sister to Princess Luna, am writing these lines to express my most inexpressibly deep and sincere regrets toward your unutterable misadventures! From now on it is with the most watchful eye, that I shall supervise up to the smallest drop the amount of cider or anything able to substitute for it (for the purpose of inebriation prevention), which my sister should take at any given period of joining any festivity involving beverages of varying degrees of hardness. Should she, if ever, take a dose of such inebriating a beverage outside aforementioned festivities' scope, I shall make absolutely sure (be it allowed for me to drop the formal writing for a moment, Twilight), that she should be properly supervised as well. In any case, my hope is, you have not suffered anything I should regret more, than I can bear. Your dreams shall henceforth be kept impenetrable for any instance of what could strike you as "illogical" of any degree, lest your mind "get screwed" (please, forgive my writing, I am pissed off at my sister!). Your dreams, as per last sentence up to this point herein, shall be under aforementioned decree, until any new considerations by me and/or those I will be keeping my trust to take aforementioned considerations in are taken (worry not, Twilight, to put it simply, aforementioned decree is not forever and only to repay you for your recent misadventures, which arose from... well, as a princess, I must be precise and impeccable legal-wise... Sorry). My castle is always open to you (for the purpose of hospitality)! I will look forward to seeing you and talking to you personally, and I wish you to get well! So be it! With best regards, Princess Celestia. P. S.: Sister will get punished, worry you not! It shouldn't have been screwed with your mind like that! P. P. S.: I wish I had been there! Sister drunk or not, I am never to pass up an opportunity to celebrate with my subjects and friends! P. P. P. S.: Don't tell Luna I said I wanted to have joined! P. P. P. P. S.: Forget it... THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!