//------------------------------// // Dynamite Don't // Story: Creating A Hive // by Authora97 //------------------------------// “...you did what.” “Adopted daughter #3!” I supplied. My arm shot out, pointing towards Dynamite Berry. The blue and red pegasus was looking at a box that Killjoy had brought her. Pinkie cheered. “ADOPTION PARTY!” Confetti fell from...I actually don’t know where. Twilight walked up to us, as Pinkie zoomed around the rest of the setup for the party. “Explain.” She stated. I smiled wide. “Explain what?” “Explain how we left you alone-for one day- and you adopted another child!” Twilight asked. “Oh. Explain that.” My smile brightened- if it was at all possible. “...yeah how the hell did we manage that again?” Thorax asked. He put a wing over my side. “It all happened so fast that even I’m confused by it.” “Oh apparently her parents died when she was a foal.” I went off into the explanation that they’d given me in a letter, replying after just an hour. “She’s been from foster home to foster home since. She ran away a few weeks ago from a home in Cloudsdale. When I asked Equestria’s equivalent of Social Services for her papers to adopt, they were excited that Dynamite had found a good home.” I beamed. “I don’t think paperwork has ever gone through so fast.” “They let you keep the foal you’d picked up off the street.” Twilight deadpanned. “Just...with no investigations or anything?” “That’s assuming all I sent them was a simple letter. No I told them I adopted two children prior to Dynamite, then included my own personal work file here in Equestria, followed by Thorax’s.” “I have a file?” Thorax asked, confused. I gave him a look. “Right. Of course I have a file.” “And Killjoy?” Twilight asked. “She’s literally never been happier. Apparently Dynamite likes explosions.” I supplied. “No I mean, did you send her file? Since she lives with you?” “That’s a nice phrase. ’Lives with us’. It corrects the fact that she’s my prisoner.” I sighed, resting my head on Thorax’s suddenly tense shoulder. All three of us glanced towards Dynamite and Killjoy who were both- again- looking inside a box that Killjoy had brought. “No blowing up a building!” I cautioned. Killjoy huffed. “Well then what am I supposed to do with the kid?!” Dynamite watched this exchange with curious delight. Lilac was trying to look grateful that we weren’t related. Cookie was chasing a toy rat. “Try asking her.” “And if she wants to blow up a building?” “Tell her no like a rational adult.” “You’ve blown up buildings!” Killjoy shouted in defense of the use of using explosives to blow up buildings with a foal that’s barely twelve. “To stop bad guys! What, you know a building filled with bad guys around here?” I questioned, sarcastically. Killjoy huffed. She turned to her newest niece. “It might be my name here, but your mom is the biggest killjoy I’ve ever met in my life.” Dynamite smiled. She grinned my way though, which told me whatever she was gonna say next was nothing good. Thorax must’ve seen it too because his wing held me tighter. “We could always blow stuff up in Everfree.” Killjoy grinned, Funny enough it was Twilight that sighed first. “Great. Just great. You find a random foal and she’s just as insane as your sister.” “Probably why I noticed her, to be honest.” I remarked. “Always on the alert for when Killjoy does...something. Which reminds me. Killjoy!” “What?!” “The first time you were so involved with a blown up building, you killed your parents. Maybe tone it down?” I suggested. “I’d rather not test it to see if Dynamite picks up that bit.” Killjoy groaned, flopping to the floor in a dead drop. “They’re just fireworks! I hate you.” Pinkie popped up behind Killjoy’s head. “FIREWORKS?! OH I NEED THAT!” She plucked the box, vanishing before Killjoy or Dynamite had even finished screaming. I smiled at Twilight. “She fits right in.” Thorax hummed, resting his head on mine. “It’s almost scary...no I changed my mind, it’s terrifying.” Twilight looked like she was pretending we weren’t friends. ==CAH== It was the next day that the party happened. Pinkie had sent out invites of all the ponies we wanted invited- not much beyond the Mane 6, Spike, and the family. We’d invited Dynamite’s social worker but she declined attending.  Lilac had been showing Dynamite around Ponyville while we prepared the surprise. The young foal was close in age to Lilac, but age doesn’t equal friendship. Lilac hadn’t much liked Dynamite, being the oldest child and first ‘born’ into the family. She was warming up faster than she had with Cookie, though, so it’s not a complete fight. Cookie was always excited about everything, so this wasn’t new. Dynamite...I’m unsure about. On one hoof, she enjoyed her new home. She enjoyed being in a family. Sure we were clearly insane but we were a mixed bunch, insanity was a given. On the other...I don’t think it’s hit her yet that we’re in this until the end. It may have been a spur of the moment thing but I tended to stick with my decisions. Especially if another creature was added to the family. I mean seriously, everyone I had now I decided to keep after two minutes. Which, you know, isn’t exactly a thing you can say to a foster child turned adoptee. Because they won’t listen if they don’t want to. She’ll ignore me if I just say things, they’ll come across as useless platitudes. Ponies like her needed actions, not words. Darcy had been like that, way back when. How sweet... But this was a party. I’ve been informed you’re supposed to have fun at parties. Thorax brought me a cup of punch. I accepted it into my magic, letting it hover in the air for a moment before taking a sip. “Twenty for your thoughts?” I gave him a look, telling him I knew how cheesy that phrase was but I appreciated it. “You better pay up for this.” Thorax grinned in victory. “What would it take to proof to Dynamite that we’re keeping her? Even if she actually blows something up?” “Easy. Let her come along today.” Thorax replied. I gawked at him. “No, really. Let her join. It’s an adventure, there’s bound to be a need for explosives at one point. She’ll be perfect.” “She could get hurt.” I defended. “So could you.” Thorax countered. “Come on...can she really be a part of this family until she’s gone a quest that could end in hospital time?” He pointed out. “...damn it I hate you.” He kissed my forehead, right below my horn. He sighed. “I know. Just too much brains to be a trophy husband.” “Seriously. Would it kill you to go stupid for a day?” I snickered. “Probably.” Thorax shrugged. That was when Rainbow Dash flew inside. Everypony turned to her, especially Pinkie Pie. “Heya, Twilight! Aren't you excited that-” Pinkie waved a bunch of sparklers in Rainbow’s face. Rainbow flinched from them, before they could reach her mane. “So glad you've finally made it!” Twilight cheered. “I was starting to think you’d lost the invite.” Killjoy commented, eating another cupcake. Cookie had tried to grab for two, so Killjoy stole another. “Oh wait. That meant we’d have to invite you in the first place.” “Ignore her. You were definitely sent an invite.” Thorax countered. “What's everypony doing here?” Rainbow asked, looking around the fixed up library. “We're having a party!” Pinkie cheered, performing a stunt while waving the sparklers around. “I can see that. What kind of party?” Rainbow asked. “Dynamite Berry’s Combination Welcome-To-Ponyville-And-Congratulations-On-Being-Adopted-Party!” Pinkie explained. Rainbow blinked. “Uh.” “She’s Morgan’s newest adoptee.” Rarity explained, walking up to Rainbow’s side. Rainbow looked over, seeing Dynamite standing next to Lilac. Lilac was showing Dynamite which cupcakes had hot sauce on them- apparently a request from the pegasus. “She adopted another kid?” Rainbow asked. “How come nopony bothered to invite me?” “I came to give you your invite personally, but it seems you were a speck too busy reading the last Daring Do book for the twelfth time.” Applejack deadpanned. “Yeah, well, in three months and twenty six more days, I'll be able to read the next one.” Rainbow excused. “Wrong.” I remarked, sipping the punch. “What?” Rainbow asked, snapping her head to me. Pinkie handed her a cup of punch. “What do you mean ‘wrong’? I can totally read the next one-” “Oh I don’t doubt that. However what’s wrong is the date. It’s been pushed back another two months.” I revealed, just as Rainbow took a sip of the punch. Rainbow spat it out. I was able to put up a shield spell before it hit me in the face. “Two more months?!” She yelped. “I've been waiting so long already! I don't think I can take another two months! I'll never make it!” “Yeah. I can vouch for that...” Fluttershy remarked, poking up from behind the center table. “Did they give a reason?” Rainbow asked. I just gave her a cruel ‘no  spoilers for you’ smile. Some people called it my ‘are you asking me for something because I will give it to you along with a kick in the feels’ smile. “Twilight did they give a reason? I know Morgan would have heard it from you!” “The publisher just said author A.K. Yearling won't be able to finish the book for another two months.” Twilight explained. “Cupcakes? This one doesn’t have any hot sauce.” “How could you possibly know that before me? I'm the series' biggest fan!” Rainbow yelled. “And Morgan would never tell you something without being cryptic!”  “I'm just as big a fan as you! In fact, I'm the one who first introduced you to the books, remember?” Rainbow Dash blinked. “Oh. Right.” Dynamite snickered. Killjoy gave her a hoof bump. “A.K. Yearling just might be my favorite author. I know everything about her.” Twilight recalled, fondly. “Where she grew up, where she studied literature, where she wrote the first Daring Do book-” “Where she lives?” Rainbow guessed. “Uh... no, though I could probably find out somehow. Why?” Twilight asked. “Isn’t it obvious?” Killjoy asked. “Come on- even Thorax knows why she’s asking and he’s stupid.” “Hey.” Thorax whined. “Wife, she’s not being nice.” “Dad. Auntie she’s never nice.” Lilac pointed out before I got the chance. Killjoy grinned, arrogantly. Dynamite snorted. “Don't you get it? The new book is obviously delayed because she needs help dealing with whatever everyday nonsense is distracting her from spending her every living breathing second writing!” Rainbow explained in a panicked rush. “So I– I mean, fans like me, can get to read the new book ASAP! Think about it! We could help her with her laundry, buy her groceries, cooking her meals, whatever! Now, who wouldn't appreciate that?” “Hmm, I don't know... What she probably wants most of all is respect for her privacy.” Twilight pointed out. “She can always just say no.” Rainbow countered. “Mmh... I suppose you’re right.” Twilight reasoned. She turned to me. “Well? What do you think?” “I think this is a ridiculous idea that could very well get many of us hurt or maimed or something in the middle.” I stated. My grin widened. “It’s a vote ‘yes’ for me!” “So...how’s about getting that address?” Rainbow requested. “I wanna!” Cookie yelled, throwing her arms up. She knocked down the hot sauce. “Nope.” Using my magic, I lifted Cookie up away from the table. “Alright. Who’s staying behind-” “Me.” Thorax took Cookie in his magic, dropping her on his back. “You and the kiddies have fun.”  I smiled at him. ==CAH== “She’s been painting the ground for a long time.” Dynamite questioned, looking over her shoulder at Pinkie. “She does that.” Killjoy replied. “And...her friends are letting her?” Dynamite asked, only more confused. “One does not simply stop Pinkie Pie.” I explained. “For that way, madness lies.” “...Rainbow Dash was right. You are cryptic.” I beamed at her. “Now you get it.” Dynamite stared at me for a moment. “No. No I don’t.” “Which means you’re in denial.” Killjoy sighed. She shook her head. “Don’t worry. You’ll crack soon.” Dynamite’s eyes were wide, occasionally blinking.  Lilac sighed on my back. “Trust me. It’s less exhausting to just give into the crazy.” “When did you?” “Somewhere around age eight.” Lilac admitted. “And look at you now. Fourteen and dead inside.” Killjoy boasted. “Which is exactly the way I would be if we weren’t walking so much!” She glared over at Rainbow Dash. “See?! Killjoy understands- oh Celestia I just said that-” Twilight bemoaned, shaking her head. Killjoy shivered in disgust. “I don’t like this. Sis I don’t like it when Twilight agrees with me!” “The point is- why would she live in this remote part of Equestria except to keep folks from intruding on her privacy?” Twilight pointed out to the others, ignoring Killjoy now. “We should respec-” “I think I spotted the house!” Dash announced. “We're super close! This way!” “I call smashing a window!” Killjoy yelled. The two of them sped ahead. The rest of us had to run to keep up. We did arrive at Yearling’s home all the same. The house was practically trashed. Yet it was still standing, so good job! “Wait! Oh no. What happened?” Twilight asked me. “Why do they keep asking you this stuff?” Dynamite asked. “Because they understand I’m smarter than them.” I replied. No. We hadn’t decided to tell her that I was a Reality Traveling human. Baby steps. “Apparently somepony has intruded on her privacy pretty hard already.” Dash remarked. She knocked on the door. The door crashed down on the floor. I winced at the impact. We all walked inside. The inside of her house was trashed. “Hoo-wee, somepony really trashed this place.” Applejack commented. “Hmm... Maybe... or maybe A.K. Yearling's just a terrible, horrible, unbelievable slob!” Pinkie suggested. She bounced around in the garbage, fashioning a saucepan on her head and a rug as a cape.  “Or she was kidnapped and murdered!” Killjoy guessed. I face-hoofed. Rarity gasped. “I hope A.K. Yearling's alright!” “Is she really dead?” Lilac whispered to me. I opened my mouth to talk when Twilight rushed to my side. She shook my shoulders. “Did something terrible happen to A.K. Yearling?!” So now I stared flatly at Twilight. The alicorn figured out what the glare was about. She cleared her throat, pulling away from me. She laughed awkwardly. Dynamite walked to my side. “Okay but really? They asked you again.” “I told you-” “Yeah but how would you know about somepony’s house being trashed?” Dynamite asked. I looked over to the others, glaring at them in annoyance. They all had the sudden desire to stare at literally anything else. “I’m the Princess of the Criminal Underworld-” “Nu-uh! We said that was mine!” Killjoy complained. “We agreed!” “Fine.” With a huff, I turned back to Dynamite. “I’m the Princess of Taking Down the Criminal Underworld. They assume I can stop everypony.” Dynamite glanced at Killjoy before going back to me. “Can you?” “Often.” I replied with a grin.  “We have bigger issues than that, Morgan!” Rainbow Dash ranted. “Tell us! Did something happen to AK Yearling?! There might be no more books!” Everypony was giving Rainbow Dash a deadpan stare. The pegasus laughed, awkwardly. “Uh... But, of course, I'd be worried about her, too. Heh.” Dynamite looked at me. “Okay. But why did she call you Morgan?” Now I was glaring daggers at Rainbow Dash, who turned away from me. “What are you all doing here?” I was completely grateful for the interruption. Turning to the door, AK Yearling stood. Anypony who had seen her book covers would know that this pony had done a poor job disguising the fact that she was Daring Do. The same khaki tan coat, same black mane, same eyes. Her heavy maroon coat, giant hat, and red rimmed glasses didn’t hide anything. Well except her wings. It hid those pretty well. “Uh...A...K-K...Yearling…” Rainbow Dash stuttered. She gawked at her favorite author in awe. “We didn't do this! We swear!” Twilight yelled. “Neither did I!” Killjoy threw in. “If I did you would be-” Her mouth was covered in yellow magic. She glared at my glowing horn. Dynamite snickered. “What have you done to my house?” AK Yearling demanded. “We didn't do this, Ms. Yearling- whoa!” Applejack was cut off, by AK Yearling panickedly yanking the rug from under her hooves. Yearling rushed about her destroyed home, searching for the object. Rolling my eyes I grabbed the book from under the starstruck Rainbow Dash’s hooves. Killjoy’s mouth was still muzzled. “We’re awfully glad to see you're alright.” Twilight told Yearling, who wasn’t having it. Yearling rushed over to her desk. Lilac leaned on my head, watching her rush about the home. “She’s not being friendly.” “I noticed.” Was my reply. Rainbow Dash grinned at the author, who wasn’t even sparing her a glance. “Okay, clearly this isn’t the best time, but I’ve just gotta say how much we all really love your books...” She nervously laughed. Yearling let out a panicked noise. The book floated over to her, still held in my grasp. She yanked it just as I canceled the magic. “You’re lucky.” I pointed out to her. She began unlocking the book, dialing the code along the book rings and turning the lock. “Most ponies don’t know the treasure that a book can hide.” Killjoy groaned. The magic on her mouth fell off. “Sis.” “I know.” “Even for you that was bad.” “I know but it had to be said.” Yearling pulled out a giant golden ring. She relaxed at the sight. “It’s safe.” Yearling began tidying up.  Rainbow Dash stood up, pushing a typewriter in Yearling’s way. “Great! Maybe now would be a good time for me to ask her how we can help move the new book along a little faster. Chop chop!” Yearling glared. “Rainbow Dash, a minute please!” Twilight dragged Rainbow Dash out with her magic. As she went out, the rest of the Mane Six followed. Killjoy, Lilac, Dynamite, and myself stayed inside. Yearling was still cleaning up, doing a rather okay job of it. “Did you know what was inside it?” “Would it make you more, or less suspicious if I said ’no’?” I asked. Yearling glanced my way. “So that’s a ’more suspicious’. Gotcha.” “She says she’s the Princess of ’Taking Down Underground Crime’-” Dynamite began. “Criminal Underworld.” Lilac corrected. “Underground Crime sounds like she fights Diamond Dogs all day.” “I mean I kinda do, when I get you something to eat-” “-she says that’s what she is. Maybe she can help find whoever did this!” Dynamite told AK Yearling, aka Daring Do, the pony who knew exactly who did this. “Or Aunt Killjoy. She says she’s Princess of the Criminal Underworld.” Killjoy grinned at Yearling. “She doubts me.” At that exact moment, Killjoy flung out her wing. A knife was flung out. It struck right beside the head of a pony sneaking down the stairs. He yelped, bumping back into his two associates. Yearling quickly shed off her disguise, revealing herself to the not-so-secret watchers in the window that she was Daring Do. She leapt towards the stairs. I stretched out my wings, hiding my two foals behind me. My horn lit up, lifting up various books to use as weapons. It’s why they exist, after all.  The henchponies rushed down the stairs, tumbling down to avoid another thrown knife. Daring Do kicked one in the face. Another was met by Killjoy, who had grabbed her two thrown knives. The third was just getting repeatedly whacked all over by books. He was quickly knocked to the ground. His sunglasses falling off, chipped. I kept pelting him with the books. As I did so I caught sight of his cutiemark. A quick glance at the other two shined a light on a pretty dark joke from the writers of MLP. “Killjoy?” I called out. Killjoy whacked the henchpony with the pommel of her knife. He bonked his head on the wall, flopping to the ground. “Yeah?” “Look at their cutiemarks.” I informed her. Killjoy did so, then laughed. You see, each of the cutiemarks for the goons were the comic book action bubbles. Where you would see things like: ?!, kick, punch, ow, attack, etc. How crummy life must be, for you to get your cutiemark only to find out you’ll be the Equestrian version of a henchpony. But it was also really funny. “Dude that’s cruelty.” “I know!” Daring Do was still fighting the third henchpony. “I don’t need your help!” She called out to us. Incredible she was able to do that with the golden ring in her mouth. “Duh.” Killjoy snorted. She kicked the second henchpony in the gut. He huffed out a pained groan. “This is how I spend my Tuesday nights.” “You spend your Tuesday nights beating up- oh wait I forgot you got your old job back.”  “Yeah! That place is great.” Killjoy grinned, actually fond of something not related to murder for once. I whacked the first henchpony in the face with a book again. He had tried to stand back up.  The henchpony actually gained an advantage, pulling the ring out of Daring Do’s mouth. Only problem was that it landed in the fireplace. Wait...had that been lit this whole time? I should’ve checked. Then again, Lilac might’ve sneezed during the fight and lit it unintentionally. So that’s probably it. Speaking of the dragon, she rushed towards the flames. She pulled out the golden ring- which was barely affected by the fire. “Got it!” She cheered to myself and her aunt. The henchpony growled, rushing after her. Killjoy and myself both attacked at him. Killjoy, jumping on his back to hold a knife on his throat. Myself, by grabbing his hooves with my magic.  “Wow!” Dynamite gawked. “You guys are awesome!” Daring Do used a whip to grab the ring from Lilac. She tossed it over to a pitcher of juice, which toppled over onto the ring. It cooled it down.  “KJ-” “On it!” Killjoy turned herself onto the henchpony’s side. With a flash of my magic the henchpony was pushed into the wall. Killjoy kicked herself off at the last second. The third henchpony hit the wall so hard paint chipped off. Daring Do went for the ring again. The second henchpony stood up. Lilac yelped, but stood her ground. I used my magic to put her beside Dynamite. The second henchpony rushed at the ring. Both of them only succeeded to knock the ring off the table to the door. They began fighting with each other, throwing so many punches and kicks that dust stirred up around them. The middle man of this whole mad scheme, Dr Caballeron, stood in the entryway. “Many thanks, Daring Do. As you’ve probably surmised, our earlier search for this treasure was... unsuccessful. So kind of you to find it for us.” Daring Do had stopped fighting the henchpony. He had her pinned to the ground. He had gotten in a pretty good hit. “Give it back, Caballeron!” Daring demanded. “That’s Doctor Caballeron to you.” He corrected her, offended. He glanced over at my sister and myself, then at his crushed henchponies. “Ah. And who might you two be? Associates of the famed Daring Do?” “Killjoy.” My sister grinned. She lifted up one of her knives, twisting it about in her feathers. “I can throw this knife between your eyes before you can even blink.” “She’s scary at darts.” I commented. Dr Caballeron turned to me. “Princess Raspberry Stardust. I’m the only pony brave enough to play darts with that abomination.” Killjoy kept up her grin. “We’re not her associates.” “She couldn’t afford us.” I finished. “So let me guess. Ahuizotl has put you up to this?” Daring Do asked Dr Caballeron. “You’re stealing the ring to give to him so his hold on the Fortress of Talacon will be good for eight centuries as foretold by prophecy!” “Close, but... no. I’m going to sell this to him, make a bundle, and retire from archaeology in splendor.” Dr Caballeron tossed the ring up, casting it over his neck like a neckalce. Daring Do tried to stand up, only to fall. “Caballeron, you fool! You’re dooming the valley to eight centuries of unrelenting heat!” “To market, henchponies!” Dr Caballeron called out. The third quickly followed. The other two were...less quick. “Well get up! We don’t have time for this! You’re ruining our dramatic exit!” The henchponies got up on their feet, stumbling towards the door. Killjoy held up her two knives in her wings. I just smiled wide, lifting up the books. The henchponies ran out much faster after that. “Why didn’t you stop him?!” Daring Do scolded us. “You said you do things alone.” Killjoy snarked. “Even your own bad version of a splint. That’ll last you barely an hour before falling off. Your hoof will be broken because you no doubt plan to go after them.” “Killjoy. You’re being...helpful.” “Mom something is wrong with Auntie.” Lilac remarked, coming up to my side. “Sis if I am eventually going to meet her on the field of combat, I need her to be in fighting condition.” Killjoy informed me, as if I were stupid for not seeing the point. “Oh! So you’re Strax the Sontaran Nurse now. Great.” I remarked. The rest of the Mane 6 ran inside. “Dr Caballeron walked in right past you six and none of you did anything?” I scolded them. They all winced. Well except Rainbow Dash. She went right up to her hero’s side. “Are you okay?” Daring Do knocked Rainbow Dash’s hoof away. “I got this.” Rainbow Dash’s face fell. Fluttershy came up next. “Um, she was just trying to help, Ms Do.” “Daring Do doesn’t need help.” Daring Do spoke about herself in the third person. As a normal pony does. Like Trixie! “She handles her business herself.” She put on her pith helmet, then flew away. Killjoy scoffed. “That splint, Sis, it’ll get her in trouble.” “You’re just saying that cause you wanted to cut it off.” “It wouldn’t be broken anymore!” Dynamite jumped on my back, excited. “THAT WAS AWESOME!” She yelled. “You were all like- bam bam! And she was all whoosh-whoosh-sling! And then Daring Do did that kick and flip and jumped and SO AWESOME!” “We’ve gotta go help!” Rainbow Dash cried out. “You heard her! She says she works alone!” Twilight argued. “Those two are gonna go fight with her!” Rainbow Dash pointed at Killjoy and I. We shrugged. She wasn’t wrong. “How can we just stand by and do nothing? You know what’s at stake here! Ahuizotl has sought control of the Tenochtitlan Basin since book three!” “True, but in book four, she defeated Ahuizotl and secured control of the Amulet of Atonement, dispelling the dark magic of the Ketztwctl Empress, and thus protecting the basin with the Radiant Shield of Razdon!” “But the Radiant Shield of Razdon is vulnerable to the dark enchantment of the Rings of Scorchero!” “But are you forgetting that the Rings were scattered to the four corners of Tenochtitlan, thus rendering the dark enchantment powerless?” “Only if you assume that the Rings have yet to be retrieved, and the ring Caballeron just stole isn’t the last to completely restore the dark tower and its cruel hold on Tenochtitlan! Did you ever think of that?!” “It’s like they’re speaking English.” Killjoy commented in my ear. “But I swear, they sound exactly like you when you’re in your ‘Planning’ phase.” Shame was, I couldn’t even deny it. “You gotta admit, Rainbow Dash makes a pretty good point.” Pinkie agreed. “We gotta help Daring Do retrieve the ring for safekeeping before it’s too late!” Rainbow Dash told Twilight. Twilight Sparkle [sighs] “Okay, but sounds to me like we’re in way, way, way over our heads. We’re going to need a carefully thought out plan.” Twilight turned to me. “Raspberry do you-” “I’m coming, Daring Do!” Rainbow Dash shouted, flying off after the adventurer. “That’s not a plan!” Twilight yelled. She sighed. “Raspberry please tell me you have a plan.” “Are you asking, or begging?” “Which ever one gets me the plan.” “Begging! Then I accept.” I turned to Dynamite, who was still staring at me with wide red eyes of awe. “See, I’m also the Princess of Planning, but that doesn’t sound as cool. So, Twilight, others, here’s how it’s going to go-” ==CAH== We had set up camp for the night. The forest was huge. Making sense as to why Rainbow Dash and Daring Do used their speed to go so far ahead. I had told the ponies all I could, seeing as Dynamite was there so I couldn’t give major spoilers. But as I could tell when she sat down next to me around the campfire, that wasn’t going to be a problem for much longer. Killjoy had gone off to find a creak for fish. She and Lilac had a taste for Equestrian fish. Applejack and Rarity were working on setting up the rest of the tents. Pinkie and Fluttershy were helping, by actually setting up the tents instead of arguing. Twilight was going over what I told her earlier. “Why did Rainbow Dash call you Morgan?” Dynamite asked. I put a stick in her hoof, along with a marshmallow. Pinkie had brought everything for s’mores and no I am not joking about that. Pinkie never jokes about s’mores...unless it’s a funny joke. Dynamite held her marshmallow towards the fire. My own joined beside. “See...that’s a big secret, Dynamite.” I began. Dynamite listened intently, her eyes still on her marshmallow. “A big secret in this family. The only ponies in all of Equestria that know it are in this camp, or the other Princesses.” “So for real- nopony knows?” I shook my head. “There’s a reason we keep it so secret. Because the last time anypony found out...well...you heard about the Changeling Hive, didn’t you?” “Yeah. The Changelings are all apparently nice now. A lot of ponies don’t really believe it, even if they have a new queen and all. Mister Thorax is nice, even if he’s a complete dork. But I heard he was there when-” Dynamite’s eyes widened. “Wait you were there?” I nodded. “It was because of my secret that the Changeling Hive isn’t a total wasteland right now.” Pulling my marshmallow out of the fire, I checked it to be sure I hadn’t burnt it. “We haven’t told you yet, not because we don’t trust you, but because we don’t want to overwhelm you.” Dynamite shook her head. “I won’t be!” She pulled out her own marshmallow from the flames.  “No...I don’t think you will.” Was my reply. “So here it goes.” The reality bracelet flared on my wrist. Dynamite’s jaw dropped as I was shifted into my human body. I picked up the marshmallow, popping it in my mouth. “I’m from another reality.” I explained, chewing the marshmallow. After I swallowed it I grabbed another marshmallow. “Full of creatures that look exactly like this. Killjoy is one too. I’m still a princess, of that world. Lilac is still a dragon from here, same as Thorax. Cookie was actually a cat in another reality, but became a griffon when she came here. I’m called a human.” Dynamite continued to stare.  “I can travel between realities. Like really easily. It’s my superpower. Back in my home reality, all of this is just a cartoon. Nobody knows it’s a real place. So I see what comes next then come here to fix. See? Superpower.” I added, roasting the marshmallow. “Rainbow Dash called me Morgan because back Home, that’s what my name is. Morgan Spencer.” “And...Killjoy has another name too?” Dynamite asked. “Darcy.” I answered. “Lilac?” “Well...no. Lilac usually fits in.” “Mr Thorax?” “We call him Terry, mostly for laughs.” “...will I get one?” “...depends. Do you actually want to go?” “Yeah.” Dynamite answered. Even her lower tone couldn’t hide the delight in her eyes. “But not yet.” “That’s alright. We have a few months before we go back Home.” I assured her. “There’s plenty of time.” “If Rainbow Dash hadn’t said your real name...would you be telling me this?” Dynamite asked. I worried my lip for a moment. The Reality Bracelet flared brightly, shifting me back into my pony shape. “Someday...yes. We wanted to take it slow.” “So you wouldn’t be telling me right now.” Dynamite grumbled. “Well you’re a foster kid. I’ve been one myself. Killjoy too. It’s not exactly great to hear that your newest parent has been lying to you since you met.” I replied, snarky. Dynamite gave no reply to that. Standing up from my seat, I let out a small sigh. “Alright. Think you and Lilac are sharing a tent tonight. It’s common that I need to stay with KJ or else blood happens. Goodnight.” She didn’t say a word to me, not even when I made the tent construct itself in four seconds. A personal best. ==CAH== We found Rainbow Dash the next morning not long after the sun went up. She was sitting in the middle of a clearing, obviously let down. Yet everypony in her friend group thought she’d been hurt. “Thank goodness you’re alright!” Rarity exhaled, relieved. Twilight went to Rainbow’s side. “Quick, where does it hurt?”  Rainbow Dash put a hoof over her heart. “In here. Daring Do and the ring have been captured by the dreaded Ahuizotl, and it’s all my fault.” Rainbow Dash sighed. Everypony gasped. She turned to me. “Why didn’t you say anything?” “It was an honest mistake. And despite how much I may act otherwise, I am not God. Nothing could have stopped you from fangirling out in front of your favorite character.” “But you never do!” Rainbow Dash complained. Killjoy snickered. “Shut up.” I warned her. “She was a mess when she met her favorite character-” “I told you to shut up!” “Really, I don’t think I had a better day than that call she gave me after-” I used magic to cover her mouth again. Rainbow Dash let out a long defeated breath. “Whatever. Let’s just go home.” “We can’t go back now! From what Ra- Morgan told us, she needs our help more than ever!” Applejack explained. “Trying to help is how I got in this mess in the first place.” Rainbow Dash explained. She got up, walking off probably towards Ponyville. “You were right, Twilight. We should’ve stayed out of this.” Twilight went to walk beside her. Lilac looked over my head to watch the exchange. “Look, there is more going on here than meets the eye. In every Daring Do book, there always is! We can’t turn our backs on her!” “She doesn’t want my help, Twilight.” Rainbow Dash countered. “Perhaps. But she might need it anyway.” Twilight pointed out. “No. My hero’s way better off without me.” Rainbow Dash sighed, her head lowering towards the ground. “This don’t sound like you.” Applejack commented. “Where’s the Rainbow Dash who would help anypony at the drop of a hat?” Pinkie asked, jumping on Dash’s back. “Or pith helmet, as the case may be.” Rarity spoke up. Killjoy gave me a look. I dropped the magic around her mouth. “Where’s the Rainbow Dash that threatened to kill me if I ever dosed her with Poison Joke again?” Killjoy asked. “It’s not fun to torture you if you’re this dead inside.” “She’s here where she’s got no business being. She should be at home.” Rainbow Dash argued. She walked a little faster. “It’s fine to look up to Daring Do, but you’ve put her so high up on a pedestal, you can’t even see your own worth anymore!” Twilight yelled. Rainbow Dash paused in her steps. “She’s in the fortress, and we’re here, and we wouldn’t be who we are if we didn’t go in after her! And neither would you! So, are you with us, or not?” Rainbow Dash hesitated. “Morgan already has a plan?” “Pfft.” I scoffed. Rainbow Dash glanced over her shoulder. “Will it work?” I gave her a look. “Right...what can I do?” “Whatever Rainbow Dash usually does when her friends are in danger.” I supplied with a knowing grin. Rainbow’s face steeled in her usual determination. She grinned, wings flaring on her back. “Then let’s do it!” ==CAH== “Killjoy, Rainbow, go after Daring Do! We’ll meet you inside!” I instructed. Killjoy nodded. She and Rainbow Dash flew off. “Dynamite Berry!” I called. The blue pegasus trotted up to me. “What.” I moved my Bag towards her. “Don’t give me that flat look. You’ll actually like this part.” Dynamite glanced at the Bag, then at me. “Why?” My grin stretched out wide. “My original idea was to storm in- but after meeting you, I have an idea on how to get inside and their attention.” Dynamite opened the Bag. The items that had moved to the top caught her red gaze. She looked up at me in awe. “What are you waiting for?” I asked. “Go play with explosives!” “What?!” Twilight yelled. Dynamite lifted up the tools from the Bag- easy ones any person could make a bomb out of- sometimes it paid off working in the FBI.  Twilight came to my side, pushing on my shoulder. “Did you give Dynamite Berry explosives?!” “No! That’s insane!” I gawked. “I gave her the tools to make explosives! What do I look like? A madwoman?!” Twilight gawked. Applejack sighed. “Twilight, that’s the same woman that gave Killjoy knives.” She reminded her friend. “Are you really that surprised?” “And poisons.” Lilac supplied, which made Twilight gawk at her. “And didn’t she try to get Thorax to blow up Queen Chrysalis?” Fluttershy asked. “When you guys put it like that, I sound like a monster.” I pointed out. “You also befriended Discord.” Twilight realized, face-hoofing. I pointed a hoof at her. “That’s because he helped get a vampire demon out of my head that first go around, not because of his- wait I’m just hearing that out loud...maybe I am a monster.” “It’s done!” Dynamite cheered. She flew up, holding a mediocre bomb in her hooves. It was pretty good for a rushed job. “What do I do now?” My hoof pointed towards a wall. Dynamite nodded. “Everypony may wanna take a couple steps back!” The Mane 6 yelped, rushing to hide behind bushes. Lilac held tighter to my head as I walked to join them. “Mom. You know you’re not a monster, right?” Lilac prompted. I reached a hoof up to ruffle her head scales. “Course not, Princess. I’m just terrifying when I put my mind to it.” Dynamite flew to my side, ducking behind a bush. “DOWN!” Everypony ducked. I stood up. Lilac jumped off my back, sitting beside Dynamite. BOOM The wall- a big stone wall that was well aged but thick and why is this working?!- blew away.  I stood up, running towards it. “Come on! We need to get moving!” Everypony joined me in running inside. If they were extra mindful of their steps around the entrance, well then it was nice to see them getting a clue! As we ran in the building, we soon ran into the room where the ceremony was taking place. Ahuizotl was cackling as two ponies began lowering a golden ring onto a display, covered in larger golden rings. Honestly he looked even less intimidating than he did in the cartoon. Literally just a giant Egyptian cat that was blue. Yeah the tail that was also a paw was weird, but dude I’ve seen Discord. None of these creatures scare me. “Drop the ring, Ahui... whatever your name is!” Applejack was the first to speak on our arrival. They all rushed at it. I dropped Lilac and Dynamite at the entrance. “Stay!”  “But Mom-” “Mrs Stardu-” “Stay!” I ordered, before joining the fray. “Hmph, place the ring, quickly!” Ahuizotl ordered his henchponies. Before the henchponies could do so, Pinkie hopped in place. She knocked the ring away from them. “Get it!” The ring rushed around the place. Two other henchponies dived towards it, only for Applejack to kick their heads. Another henchpony managed to grab it, tossing the ringto Ahuizotl. Fluttershy intercepted. She flew away from the large cat. Twilight caught the ring in her horn, teleporting before anypony could catch her. As for myself I was kicking ass.  I was lifting up henchponies, knocking them into each other. A ‘beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker’ attack style. My hooves were also kicking ponies that were rushing towards me or others. A few tried going after my kids which was just me assuming they wanted to die. Those dumb bastards were thrown at a wall. Killjoy, along with the two other pegasi, snuck in at some point in the fighting. They were beginning to take the rings off the pillar. One by one, they threw off the golden rings. I was in possession of the ring at one point. As henchponies rushed at me, I was firing off blasting spells to their faces.  An explosion went off to the side. Glancing over I saw three ponies huddled on the ground, clearly in pain. Another glance showed Dynamite doing a victory pose. “What was that?!” I asked her. “I had some explosive left over!” Dynamite cheered. Dynamite you are going to fit right into this crazy family. Ahuizotl tried reaching for the ring in my magical grip. So I flew up to his face and kicked it. He roared at me. I roared right back, diving towards his stomach for another dramatic kick. He was thrown back into a wall. Then he caught sight of the three pegasi lifting the heavy golden rings off the pillar. The entire pyramid structure we were all in was beginning to collapse. “Stop her!” Ahuizotl ordered. As the henchponies rushed towards them, I rushed towards the girls. Lilac quickly reached out for me. I threw her on my back while grabbing Dynamite in my hooves. I teleported us out of the structure, into the outside. I dropped the girls down. They rolled away. As the building finally crumbled down I cast a shield spell around us. Any debris bounced off. “You good?” I asked them. “Yeah.” “Yes Mom.” “Good.” I turned to Dynamite. “You brought explosives into a pyramid, then threw it at ponies?” Dynamite winced. “I know-” “-that is was the coolest thing ever cause nopony died?!” I interrupted. Grinning at Dynamite, I pulled her into an embrace. “Dynamite Berry you rock!” The foal smiled.  The pyramid collapsed behind us. We rounded up with the others, as Rainbow Dash and Daring Do tossed the ring onto the ground. It shattered. ==CAH== Back in Ponyville, I was enjoying a cup of hot chocolate with Killjoy. Thorax was having the entire adventure explained to him by Dynamite. Yes including the bit with explosives. Killjoy was pouting, pouring alcohol into her hot cocoa. “You give the foal blow-up shit then don’t even let me see? You’re a bitch.” “Hmm.” I sipped at the hot chocolate. “Unapologetically.” Killjoy scoffed. She lowered her mug, glancing towards the blue pegasus that spoke with such animation to a delighted changeling. “She knows the truth, yeah?” “Yeah.” I explained. “Took it like a champ.” “Yeah well, all your kids have.” Killjoy countered. “But I don’t think they all will.” “All?” I asked. Killjoy gave me a deadpan stare. “There is no doubt in my mind you’re adopting, like, twenty children before you and Thorax actually make one.” She sipped at her hot cocoa. I blushed. “-then Mom gave me a bunch of stuff for a bomb! I didn’t even know she had all that stuff!” Dynamite explained. “She said I could use it and I did! I blew up a huge wall of a pyramid! It was awesome!” “Did you die?!” Cookie asked. “No. I can handle explosives without exploding! What am I, an amateur?” Dynamite scoffed. I blinked. Killjoy just shook her head. “Yep. She’s one of us.” “She called me mom.” I pointed out, surprised and also touched. Killjoy snickered. “They all do.” So we finished our hot cocoa, still listening in on the exciting story.