As we enter the elevator it moves downward until we reach the next floor.
“Sorry about the mess, I’ve really let this place go since your princesses killed me. By the way, I REALLY need to thank them for that.”
Sarcasm Self Test Passed
“Oh good, that’s back online. I’ll start getting everything else working while you all perform this first simple test. Which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers.”
“Nice to know that even after all this time of being dead, she’s just as crazy as ever.” Rainbow Dash said sarcastically.
A small platform rises from the ground and a laser shoots out from another platform hanging from the ceiling, hitting the floor.
“Okay, I’m stumped. Just HOW are we going to solve this?!” I ask.
“It’s actually simple, you see this platform right here is actually powered by laser energy. So in short all you have to do is this.” Twilight then fires a blue portal at the floor the laser was hitting and fires an orange portal over the small platform, causing the laser to hit the platform and made the platform in front of the door to raise.
“Woah, how’d ya know about that Twilight?” asked Applejack, raising her hat.
“Well, I used to study the way laser energy was used and how it worked back before GLaDOS went insane.” said Twilight.
“I am so glad you’re the brains of the group!” I said.
“But, the platform leading towards the exit is too high for the rest of us, what do we do?” asked Fluttershy.
“That’s easy, you and Rainbow Dash just fly up there, and I’ll just lift the rest up. I’m tall enough to pull myself up.” I explained.
“Okay, let’s do it.” said Twilight as she placed a blue portal at the bottom of the laser and placed an orange portal at the top of the platform causing the smaller platform in front of the door to rise.
“Alright Fluttershy, let’s go!” said Rainbow Dash, as she took off.
“Right.” Fluttershy then followed Rainbow Dash flying through the Material Emancipation Grill.
I then ran up to the platform and cuffed my hands together. “Okay guys, let’s go!”
Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie ran up to me and I hoisted them up one at a time and I climbed to the top afterwards, entering the elevator room with the others.
“Well, that went as well as one would hope.” said Twilight.
“Not bad. I forgot how good you all are at this. You should pace yourselves, though. We have A LOT of tests to do.” said GLaDOS.
“That’s just great.”
“Don’t worry Twilight, we’ll get out of here somehow.” said Pinkie Pie with a smile as usual.
Everyone enters the elevator and head downward and we arrive on the next floor.
“This next test involves discouragement redirection cubes. I’d just finished building them before your princesses had there, well, episodes. So now we’ll all get to see how they work.” explained GLaDOS
Everyone runs into the next room and sees the active laser.
“I’m pretty sure I DON’T need to explain what would happen if we get caught in that.” said Rainbow Dash.
“We get it Dash, its cool.” I said
“But where’s that discouraging cubey thingy she was talkin’ bout?” asked Applejack.
“There called ‘discouragement redirection cubes’ and there should be one in the corner.” said GLaDOS
Everyone jumps over the laser and heads for the cube in the corner and just as Twilight is about to fire Wheatley opens a panel in the wall.
“WHEATL-” Rainbow Dash yelled out before I covered her mouth.
“We don’t need GLaDOS to know about him right now, he might have a plan we all just need to stay low and stay quiet.” I whisper to everyone before letting go of Rainbow Dash.
Twilight then goes back to firing a blue portal under the cube and opens a second portal on the floor directly next to Pinkie Pie, who grabs the cube before it falls back into the portal. Pinkie Pie then bounces back to the laser and holds the cube against it and the laser bounces off the cube.
“Yow! It really works!” I said surprised.
“Yup! It’s really neat isn’t it?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Yes well, just be careful on where you aim that thing!” said Rarity.
“Okie Dokie Lokie!”
Pinkie Pie as then jumps over the laser and holds the cube in front of the platform on the wall, causing the laser to hit it and it causes the floor panels to raise. Everyone then runs up stairs and Twilight fires a portal under the cube and fires a second portal next to Applejack, and as the cube pops up she catches it and places the cube on the button.
“Good job girls!” I said giving a thumbs up.
“Yes, good job indeed, now here are your test results: You all suck. I’m serious it, that’s what it says: You all suck. I didn’t even know we were testing for that.” said GLaDOS.
“We’re not the only ones you robotic bitch.” I said causing everypony to laugh except for Twilight and Rarity.
“Knock it off everypony, she’s just stalling. We’ve gotta keep moving.” said Twilight.
“Don’t have to tell us twice.” said Rainbow Dash.
As we begin to walk to the elevator I step back towards Fluttershy.
“You okay Fluttershy?”
“Y-Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, you just haven’t said anything in a while.”
“I-I just…”
“It’s GLaDOS isn’t it?”
“K-Kinda…”
“Don’t worry Fluttershy, you’ve got all of us to protect you. What happened to those scientists won’t happen to you. I will not allow my comrades to die. I promise.”
“O-Okay.”
Well all then walk into the elevator and arrive at the next floor.
“Don’t let that ‘You suck’ thing get to you everypony, it’s just a data point. If it makes any of you feel any better, science has now validated your princesses decision to abandon you without even thinking twice about it.” said GLaDOS.
“Oh that’s it! Show yourself and take us on you coward!!” yelled Rainbow Dash throwing punches in the air.
“Calm down Rainbow, I may not like her voice anymore than you do, but remember: She’s got neurotoxin and countless turrets at her disposal, WAY too many for us to handle on our own. So we’ll just have to play it smart and wait for our window of opportunity.” I said.
“Fine.” Rainbow Dash huffed crossing her fore hooves.
Everypony walks into the next room which is completely ruined.
“Ugh, these rooms are getting uglier and uglier.” complained Rarity.
Two lasers activate and the panels on the walls reassemble themselves.
“Well, I think since Twilight knows a lot about lasers, she should go.” I said.
“Sure, why not.” said Twilight.
Twilight opens a blue portal on the wall behind the cube and fires an orange portal to the wall next to her and she jumps through the portal and grabs the cube and jumps on the platform in the center of the room and aims the laser with the cube at the platform in front of her, powering it. Twilight then fires a blue portal on the wall that the laser is hitting and fires an orange portal on the floor under the second portal powering the second platform making the door open and she jumps down from the platform.
“Congratulations. Not on the test. Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you all on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.” said GLaDOS.
“So, whatever happened to that whole ‘I’ll be talking to you less during testing’ thing?” I asked.
“Obviously a lie.” said Rainbow Dash.
“Just stay focused everypony. We’ve got to get out of here.” said Twilight.
“Don’t have to tell us twice” said Rainbow Dash as we entered the elevator.
On the next floor we exited the elevator and walked down the hallway and it’s blocked off by wall panels.
“One moment.” said GLaDOS.
The wall panels then moved back and replaced themselves into the wall.
“Your all navigating these test chambers faster than I can rebuild them. So feel free to slow down and… do whatever you all do when you’re not destroying this facility.”
“Ooh, it seems that the ‘great and powerful GLaDOS’ isn’t fast enough to fix simple chambers? What’s the matter? Losing your edge?” I asked mockingly.
“Actually, I would have had them all fixed by now, but your stupidity blocks all of my abilities to concentrate. Almost like a tumor.”
“Ha ha.”
Everypony them moves through the hallway and jump down to the lower level where the door is and we walk into the next test chamber.
“I think I’ll do this one, I think I’m getting the hang of these lasers.” I said.
“Go for it.” said Twilight.
“J-Just please be careful.” said Fluttershy.
“Don’t worry, after watching Twilight, I am…12% positive I can do this.” I said nervously laughing.
I look around the room for a few seconds.
“Okay ladies, you may want to get up against the wall.” I said aiming my portal gun as everypony leans up against the wall.
I fire a blue portal on the wall where the first laser was hitting and I fire an orange portal on the wall on the far left causing the laser to hit the platform on the wall, powering the moving platform. As soon as the moving platform gets in front of the part of the room where the button was I cancelled out both portals and opened a blue portal next to the button and opened an orange portal on the wall to the left.
“Hey, I think I did pretty good.” I said.
“That actually wasn’t bad. Good job.” said Twilight.
Everypony runs through the portal and I press the button, releasing a button from the vent. Pinkie Pie picks up the cube and we get on the platform I then fire the two portals in the same places causing the laser to hit the platform again powering the one we were standing on. As we move forward everyone slowly jumps over the laser and we make it to the door and Pinkie Pie places the box on the button.
“I’ll give you all credit: I guess you guys ARE listening to me. But for the record: You don’t have to go THAT slowly.” said GLaDOS.
“There is no pleasing her huh?” I asked holding back a chuckle.
“Nope.” replied Applejack as we entered the elevator.
The elevator then went down another level and we exited. Everypony then ran down the hall until they were blocked off by more clutter. And just when Rarity was about to complain, wall panels moved the clutter inside another wall panel.
“Well, at least she’s trying to make this place look more…presentable.” Rarity said to herself.
We walk through the door and see that were surrounded by water.
“This next test involves the Aperture Science Arial Faith Plates.”
Fluttershy then whimpered silently.
“It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative.”
“R-Really?” asked Fluttershy.
“Yes, they could not. Good luck.”
“Don’t worry Fluttershy, thanks to those wings, you and Rainbow Dash can just fly to the end.” I said.
“Yeah! And that’s what we’ll do. Let’s go Fluttershy!” said Rainbow Dash taking off.
“W-Wait for me!” Fluttershy then took off with Rainbow Dash.
“But it doesn’t make sense.”
“What’s that Twilight?” asked Applejack.
“This is supposed to be a test and I can see a button next to that door, so where’s the cube?”
Rainbow Dash then pressed a button and a cube came out of a tube and landed repeatedly on an Arial Faith Plate and began to bounce repeatedly.
“Well, that answers that.” said Rarity.
Me, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie fly off the Arial Faith Plate and Twilight grabs the cube in mid air and we land near the button.
“Nice grab.” I said.
“Thanks, now to put it on that button.”
Twilight trots up to the button and puts the cube on it.
“Here’s an interesting fact: you’re all not breathing real air. It’s too expensive to pump down this far down. We just take carbon dioxide out of a room, freshen it up a little, and pump it back in. So you’ll all be breathing the room full of air for the rest of your lives. I thought that was interesting.”
“I’ll tell you what’s interesting, the fact that she thinks we’re going to do this for the rest of our lives.” I said.
“So you’ve got a plan?” asked Applejack.
“Well remember, we did see Wheatley. So hopefully the guy has a plan. So let’s hope.”
We then enter the elevator and arrive to the next level.
“Let’s see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Arial Faith Plates. Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world. *I* have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself.”
“Ooh, sounds like some bodies jealous.” said Rainbow Dash.
“She’ll get over it. Or at least I will.” I said.
“I do feel ‘kinda’ bad for her.” said Pinkie Pie.
“Why?” asked Rarity.
“Well, she said she had to pick up fifteen acres of broken glass by herself. And we’re gonna be having fun.”
“You, feel bad, for a psychopathic killer because she’s moaning about picking up broken glass? Really?” I asked in disbelief.
“I’m just saiyan.” said Pinkie Pie.
“Not funny.” I said.
We enter the next room which had four Advanced Arial Faith Plates and they were surrounded by water.
“Oh, and by the way. Rainbow Crash and Fluttershy who can’t fly.”
“What’d you say!?” yelled Rainbow Dash.
“No flying during this test.” said GLaDOS.
“Say what?! Why not?!” yelled Rainbow Dash.
“Remember: This is a test, no cheating. If you fly, I’ll flood the room with turrets.” said GLaDOS with an icy tone.
“Grr! Fine!”
“Sheesh! Flood the room with turrets? That’s a little over kill just to stop cheating.” I said.
“Let’s just hurry to the other side.” said Twilight.
Everypony except me and Fluttershy jumped on the Advanced Arial Faith Plates and began to move across the room.
“You’re afraid to go alone huh?” I asked.
“Y-Yes, since I can’t fly, I can’t stop myself from falling. It’s scary.”
I kneeled down with my back facing her.
“Alright then, hop up on my back. I’ll carry you across.”
“O-Okay, thank you.”
“Heh, no problem.”
“You two may want to wait before ya’ll come over!!” yelled Applejack.
“Why’s that?!”
“Because there are two platforms here and we apparently need them to get to that upper level.” replied Twilight.
“Okay, which one is the lowest and can you reach it?”
“The one on the left! And yes!” replied Rainbow Dash.
“Okay, what I want you guys to do, is fire a portal on the lowest one and then fire another portal on the wall above us and jump through! And what ever portal you use for the wall above us, I want you to cancel that portal out!”
“Okay!” yelled Twilight.
Rainbow Dash fired a blue portal on the lower platform and fired an orange portal on the wall above me and Fluttershy and they jump through.
“Ha! You two are playing piggy back?” laughed Rainbow Dash.
“Yes, because Fluttershy doesn’t like going through the air without her wings being able to catch her. So I offered to piggy back her.”
Rainbow Dash begins laughing. “You two are too much!”
“We, were trying to be funny?” I ask.
“Heh heh, it’s nothing. So what’s the rest of the plan?”
“Me and Fluttershy will go first and will open a portal on the higher platform and when you see us on the upper level, join us. Okay?”
“Got it!” said Everypony.
I walk onto the Advanced Arial Faith Plate and we fly through the air and as we approach the platform Fluttershy quickly fires a portal on the platform causing us to get launched to the next Advanced Arial Faith Plate and we land in front of the door.
“Great job Fluttershy, that was some sharp shooting.”
“Thanks.” Fluttershy said blushing.
“Alright guys! Your can come up now!”
“Okay!” they yelled back.
Everypony then began hoping from one Advanced Arial Faith Plate to another until they landed next to me and Fluttershy.
“Ah, thanks for joining us.”
“No problem.” replied Rarity.
“Alright! Let’s move on!” Rainbow Dash said pushing the button.
Trash then falls out of the chute near the entrance.
“Oh sorry, I’m still cleaning the test chambers. So sometimes there’s still trash in them. Standing around. Smelling, and being useless.”
“I think we get the freakin’ point!” I yelled.
“Well try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.”
The garbage begins to approach us.
“Ha! ‘Try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you.’ What? She doesn’t think we can dodg-GAH!!” I got cut off by a CD hitting me right in the forehead
“David!! Are you okay?!” asked Fluttershy.
“Y-Yeah, I-I think so. Grr!”
“Your head is bleeding!” yelled Twilight.
“Oh no!” yelled Fluttershy.
“G-Guys, it’s okay. It’s just a scrape.” I said trying to put on a smile.
“Just a scrape?! You could get infected!” yelled Fluttershy.
“Oh come on! It was just a graze!”
“No back talkin’! Fluttershy is right!” said Applejack.
“When did you guys turn into my moms?! You don’t see Rainbow Dash flipping out over this do you?!”
“Yeah, I’m gonna have to side with David on this. The CD only grazed his head. Yeah sure he’s bleeding slightly but it’s nothing a little cloth can fix.” said Rainbow Dash.
“You heard GLaDOS, that stuff is garbage! Who knows where it could’ve been!” countered Fluttershy.
“Alright! If it will end this conversation sooner, can’t I just wrap it up with the cloth of my shirt?”
“Only if you let me spray it with this!” Fluttershy then pulls out a can of disinfectant spray.
“Really Fluttershy? You carry a can, of disinfectant spray?” I ask rhetorically.
“Yes, I always come prepared.”
“Wow, you really did sound like a mom just then.” said Rainbow Dash.
I sit on the ground and Fluttershy trots up behind me.
“Okay, this might hurt.”
“Oh come on Fluttershy I’m a big bo-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!” I scream in pure agony as Fluttershy sprayed the disinfectant on my cut wound.
“You see, that means it had bacteria in it!”
“A-Are you d-done?”
“Yes.”
“Thank sweet merciful God.” I said ripping of a thin part of my t-shirt and rap it around my head covering the wound. “Can we move on?”
“Yes.”
“Finally.”
Rainbow Dash presses the button one more time and a cube fell from the chute. Applejack then fires a portal on the ceiling over the button and the cube lands on it causing the door to open.
“Well, it seems you’ve all decided to stop playing nurse long enough to solve the puzzle. I’m impressed.”
“Well I’m soooo sorry that my head injury got in the way of your precious testing.”
“Apology accepted.”
“Seriously? It’s like people have never heard of sarcasm these days.”
“By the way, remember when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor, I was actually talking about you all.”
“What?!” yelled Everypony.
“Freakin’ serious?!” I muttered to my self facepalming.
“And I’m sorry, you all didn’t react in time. I was worried it sailed over your heads.”
“You know GLaDOS. The more you make us angry, the more you’ll suffer before we shut you down. Because you may think of yourself as ‘untouchable’ but we’re in the same facility. We can reach you, it’s not impossible.”
“I still doubt you can reach me.”
“Oh it’s on now cyber bitch! Come on ladies! Let’s smash the system!”
“Okay!” Everyone shouted in agreement.
We enter the next elevator and arrive on the next floor.
“Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises?”
A loud train horn plays instantly in the background causing Fluttershy to jump into my arms.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.”
“You alright Fluttershy?” I ask.
“No!” she yelled with her head buried in my shirt.
“Come on Fluttershy! Don’t let her get to you!” said Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah Fluttershy, we really don’t have time for this!” said Twilight.
Fluttershy only whimpered.
“Would you feel better if I carried you until you calm down?”
“Y-Yes.”
“Alright. Let’s go ladies.”
We run down the hallway and jump over an active laser and Applejack tries to pick up the cube but it fizzles away.
“Oh. Did I accidentally fizzle that before you could complete the test? I’m sorry. Go a head and grab another one.”
A cube falls out of the chute and Applejack grabs it and puts it in front of the laser and it fizzles again.
“Oh come on!!” yells Everypony.
“Oh. No. I fizzled that one too. Oh well. We have warehouses full of these things. I’m happy to get rid of them.”
“Don’t even say anything girls. We’re only giving her what she needs.” said Twilight.
“And what’s that?” asks Rainbow Dash.
“Our reactions. She’s only doing this to annoy us. Just ignore it and she’ll eventually lose interest.”
“Okie Dokie Lokie!”
Applejack catches the cube again and places it in front of the laser stopping it from powering the laser platform causing another platform to lower to everypony. Everypony stands on the platform and Twilight fires an orange portal under the cube and fires a blue portal on the wall moving the cube out of the way of the laser, powering the platform and it raises us up to the next level.
“Do you think we still need the cube?” asks Pinkie Pie as everypony walks off the platform.
“Most likely, GLaDOS seems to be making cube testing a priority.” said Twilight.
Pinkie Pie then fires a blue portal at the platform on the wall and fires an orange portal under the cube causing it to land behind Rainbow Dash.
“Cube Delivery!” yelled Pinkie Pie.
“It looks like the same platform from that test where I got my head injury.” I said looking at the platform where Pinkie shot her blue portal. “I bet we can fly over to the other side by jumping through the portal down there.”
“Alright! Let’s do it!” yelled Rainbow Dash as she grabbed the cube and jumped down into the portal with Everypony following her lead. As they jumped down and landed in the orange portal they landed right next to the button, opening the door on the upper platform.
“Now how are we gonna get up there?” asked Twilight.
“Let us handle it. Ready Fluttershy?”
“Yes.” Fluttershy then crawls on my back and gets her portal gun ready.
“Alright everypony, when me and Fluttershy jump, you guys follow suit. Okay?”
“Okay!” replied Everypony.
I jump off the platform with the others joining in and Fluttershy fired an orange portal on the ground and we fly through and land in front of the door.
“Nice job you guys.” said Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah, that was a good plan.” said Applejack.
“Nah, the REAL hero was Fluttershy. That was sharp shooting.” I said. “So, you ready to walk on your own?”
“Yes, I calmed down.”
“Ok.” I kneeled down and let Fluttershy off.
“Alright, let’s keep moving girls!” said Twilight.
Everypony runs down the hall until they approach the elevator.
“As you all should already know, every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can’t smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken. Don’t take anything with you.”
“Oh yeah!? You can’t tell me what to do!!” yelled Rainbow Dash as she ran out of the room.
Rainbow Dash fires blue portal on the wall next to her as she runs back down the corridor and jumps down to the cube and grabs it and jumps down through the portal and lands inside the hall and runs back to everypony. As she approaches the elevator the companion cube fizzles away.
“I think that one was about to say ‘I love you.’ They ARE sentient of course. We have a LOT of them.”
“Still worth it!” Rainbow Dash replied with a smile.
Everypony then entered the elevator and arrived on the next level. As they walked into
“This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about the-”
“Yeah, yeah we get it already! We know about emancipation grills!” yelled Rainbow Dash interrupting GLaDOS.
“Well, look at the big brain on this pony; please allow me to attempt to care.”
[Attempt to care has failed]
“Sorry, it seems that I have stopped caring.”
“Why you-”
“Let it go Rainbow Dash, she’s just tryin’ to ruffle our fur.” Applejack interrupted Rainbow Dash.
The lights in the room flicker.
“Ohh, no. The turbines again. I have to go. Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version.” GLaDOS starts speaking fast gibberish. “There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I’ll be right back.”
“Don’t hurry.” mocked Rainbow Dash.
“Remember girls, the emancipation grill cancels out any active portals on the opposite sides.” Twilight explained.
“Wait, then how do we do this then?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Oh! Let me do it! I just got passed this part on the walkthrough!” Pinkie Pie hopped up passed the emancipation grill leaving everypony with a confused face. Pinkie Pie fires a blue portal on the wall next to the button and bounced up to the hole in the glass and fires an orange portal on the wall and pressed the button and a discouragement redirection cube falls behind Twilight causing her and Fluttershy to jump and Pinkie trots to the blue portal and jumps through. Pinkie trots up to the cube and fires an orange portal on the wall in front of the cube and picks it up, she then trots into the portal and uses the cube to redirect the laser to the laser platform behind me. Pinkie Pie then trots back to the blue portal and jumps for joy as she rejoins us.
“I did it! I did it!” Pinkie Pie yelled.
“How do you do it Pinkie?” I ask. “It’s like you’ve done this before.”
“Didn’t you remember what I told you before? I saw the walkthrough.”
“Pinkie. You do know that none of us know what a walkthrough is.”
“You really need to get out more. A walkthrough is when someone records themselves playing a game and posts it online to show people how to get past a certain point.”
“Are you saying, that this, is a ga-”
“Can we please move on?! I REALLY want to get to GLaDOS!” yelled Rainbow Dash impatiently.
“Fine, fine whatever.” I said as everypony enters the elevator and arrives on the next floor.
END OF CHAPTER 2
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What up everypony? Sorry this took long, you see, between relaxing, kicking people's asses on UMVC3, and family. I came down with a tragic case of lazy ass. Anyway hope you enjoy the cahpter and see ya next chapter.