Flash warily approached the turd-brown van waiting at the curb. He prayed to any god that was listening that today's driver would be normal, sane, and safe. Taking a deep breath, he slid open the side panel of the van and climbed in.
"Hey there!" the driver—a teenage girl—said cheerfully. She was around his age, with pale skin and bottle-green hair pulled back in twin ponytails, and she wore stylish little pince-nez glasses. She had on a purple blazer over a light blue blouse. "I'm Juniper Montage, I'll be your driver this afternoon, and I hope you enjoy your ride!"
"Thanks," Flash said as he situated himself and buckled in.
"We're gonna take an alternate route," Juniper announced as she pulled away from the curb. "The direct route has construction today and traffic's bottlenecked. The other way's a little slower—"
"Yeah, I know which way you mean," Flash said. "I take that way whenever the main road's shut down."
"Oh, you have a car?" Juniper asked.
"Well, I did," Flash said. "It kinda got totaled the other day. Got T-boned by a nervous student driver."
"Ouch," Juniper said with a wince. "I don't know what I'd do if my car got totaled."
"Yeah, well, stuff happens," Flash said with a shrug.
"I mean, a few months ago, some jerk scratched up my door," Juniper said conversationally as she turned onto a narrow road with cars parked all along the curb. "I followed him halfway across town to a parking garage, waited until he went inside, then keyed the word 'DICKLESS' into his car in five places." She giggled. "Bet he thinks twice before he scratches up anyone's door again!"
Flash blinked. "Uhh..."
"So, you in high school or college?" Juniper asked as she navigated her bulky van through a veritable maze of parked cars.
"Oh, uh, high school," Flash said. "CHS."
"No kidding!" Juniper said. "I go to Crystal Prep myself. I just missed making the Friendship Games team." Under her breath, she grumbled, "Like Indigo Zap's grades are so good..."
Flash laughed. "Heh, yeah. The Games...that was, uh...really something."
"So I heard," Juniper said. "So, if you go to CHS, you must know Sunset Shimmer, right?"
"Yeah," Flash said. "We, uh, we used to date. I mean, a while back."
"Really." Something in Juniper's voice tightened, as did her grip on the steering wheel.
"So, uh, how do you know Sunset Shimmer?" Flash asked.
"Oh, I ran into her and her friends a while back," Juniper said tightly. "On my uncle's movie lot." She jerked the wheel sharply, narrowly missing a compact car on their right. Flash heard a muffled scrape-thump-snap.
"Uh...I think you just took that car's mirror off," he said hesitantly.
"Stuff happens," Juniper said with a shrug. "He was parked too far out, not my fault." She swung sharply into a turn, rounding a corner and merging into traffic on a broader through street. Someone's horn honked loudly. "OH, HONK YOURSELF," Juniper snarled, baring her teeth.
"Oh God not again," Flash moaned, slouching low into his seat.
"Sorry," Juniper said tersely as she evened out into the center lane. "I just really hate it when people get in my way."
"Can you just, like, tone it down?" Flash pleaded. "I've had a really stressful week and yesterday's rideshare nearly killed me with her crazy driving. I just...I just want a normal ride home."
"Oh, sure, it's all about you," Juniper said snidely. "It's always all about somebody else. Nobody ever cares what my day was like! Well let me tell you, my day sucked!" She jerked over into the right lane, cutting off a Beetle. "You have any idea how shitty working at the movie theater is?! My boss is a pain in the ass, the kids rub snot all over the counter, people spill popcorn and soda and stuff everywhere and I'm the one that's gotta clean all that crap up, and today—TODAY!—I was emptying out the trash and some bitch had stuffed a diaper full of fresh SHIT right in the top of the trash can, and when I took the lid off to grab the bag, it dumped out all over me! I'm lucky I had a change of clothes in the back, and I'm the one who's gotta pay for the ruined uniform!"
A pickup truck shot past Juniper from the left lane, cutting her off in line for the offramp.
"OH, YOU WANNA GO, BITCH?!" Juniper snarled. She plunged a hand into a large cardboard box wedged between the front seats, pulling out a drab green metal object that was roughly egg-sized.
Flash's eyes widened. "Oh my god is that—"
Juniper pulled a metal pin from the hand grenade with her teeth, then leaned halfway out the window as she swerved onto the offramp and around the pickup that had cut her off, which was now stopped at the left turn signal. She tossed the grenade through the open passenger-side window of the truck, then floored the gas and sped ahead, taking a sharp right turn and narrowly avoiding getting swiped by a sedan. A chorus of honking horns filled the air as Juniper's van raced down the service road, slowing to a stop for the red light ahead.
Flash could just barely hear the explosion. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST—"
Without even looking, Juniper aimed a massive handgun at him. "You didn't see a fucking thing, capiche?"
Sweat trickled down Flash's neck. "Uhh...y-yeah," he said, swallowing nervously.
"Good," Juniper said. Five tense minutes later, she turned onto Flash's street. He wasted no time in disengaging himself from his seat belt, and had the door open before the van even stopped, but before he could grab his things, Juniper put the van in park, unbuckled her own seat belt, and climbed into the back, grabbing Flash's door and pulling it closed as she straddled his lap, a manic, predatory gleam in her eyes. "One more thing," she said, licking her lips...
Ten minutes later, a very confused, shellshocked, and terrified Flash staggered out of the van, drenched in sweat and tangled up in a reel of film. As the van sped away, he blinked after it dazedly.
"What...just happened?"