Chapter One
The King of Crazy
*Smack*
Damn this guy's got a strong arm. His left fist just connected with my face, man that hurt. But, nothing I can't take. I see him try for a right swing instantly.
Perfect.
I bring my left arm up to protect my face. This bozo doesn't know how to throw a proper punch. I bring my right arm back so my fist is beside my waist. You don't swing when you punch, that leaves you wide open. And I release everything I have in this last one. YOU PUNCH STRAIGHT THROUGH! And my fist comes into contact with his face.
*Crack*
And he's down for the count. Sprawled unconscious on the ground like a seastar with a bleeding nose.
"Oh damn, dude, he just knocked out Eddie." One of these street punks pointed out. Thank you Captain Obvious.
"Now that that's been cleared." I look at the other three with dark intimidation in my "May I pass now?"
They ran and left their 'bud' Eddie where he was. Figures as much, chop off a chickens head and its body will be running all over the place.
I suppose I should start explaining myself to the people who are confused and asking "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?" My name is Jesse Ruesgen and that poor sod on the ground was the local tough guy who was muscling me for the paper in my wallet. After I oh so politely asked to be left alone (not to mention a couple of remarks I made about his mother) he started to throw a few swings at me. Poor dumbass never stood a chance. And unfortunately for me, that was my fifth fight I've gotten into this week.
It's not like I enjoy these things, I just can't seem to help myself when someones bugging me. I just tell people off without thinking these things threw.
Just like last week, Joe Mentemy kept bugging me to let him use my Chemistry notes. After about ten minutes I said that his real parents left him at that orphanage hoping he really would get two dads. Well, it wasn't put that nicely, but everyone knows how sensitive he is about how he never knew his real parents and was adopted by two men when he was seven. He nearly broke down right there at my feet. God I'm a dirtbag.
But I only say that to the assess that get on my nerves, I'm not like that all the time. In fact most the time I'm bored out of my mind. There is no excitement in life for me. I'm an over-achiever who doesn't apply himself; I try something new and instantly get the hang of it at an exceeding rate but I don't show for it. I don't know why, I suppose it's because life seems so mundane to me.
Every day I wake, spend six hours at school, go to my part-time job, relax and watch what's on the T.V., go to sleep, and wake up again just to do it all over again. I know how I sound and I know that I'm not the only one who goes through this sort of thing, but I just have a mind that is different to everyone else's point of view. My relationship with my family? It's fine. In fact, my life should be better than I perceive it to be. My parents are great people who love me and I them. My little sister, Meghen, is a sweet little thing, only eight years old. Everything should be great for me, except for some reason it's not.
I open the front door and see Meghen, on the couch watching Pokemon, even Pokemon was so boring to me when I was her age. Damn I've got some problem. She hears the door close behind me and faces in my direction. The second she saw me bruised face she knew what happened.
"Who was it this time?" she asks.
"Eddie." Was my only response. "You'll keep this from Mom and Dad won't you?"
She pulls her hand across her mouth like there was a zipper on it. With a weak smile of gratitude across my face I say thank you to her and go to my room, the one place I go for some peace and privacy. This is basically my life right here. You'd probably ask how I put up with this. Well, there are two reasons:
The first is my good and only friend Markus Benzis.
Markus is the greatest guy I have ever met in all my seventeen years of living. He's a short kid standing just under 5-feet with dark blonde hair. What he makes up for in height is muscle, he is one buff guy. In a way he's like me when trying something new, he catches on quickly, the only difference between us is that he apllies himself, unlike me. The reason why he's my best, hell, only friend is a mystery even to me. I don't even know why he want's to hang out with me. But I'm glad he does.
The second thing was introduced to me by Markus that I never would have seen coming.
"My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?" I looked at him questioningly. "Dude are you serious?"
Markus finishes the last of his soda then turns to me and says "Why yes, yes I am. Honstely man, you should check it out. I was just like you going 'no way this guy is crazy I'm not going to watch this.' But after a while I finally gave in. Shortly through a few episodes and became a brony."
I thought he was crazy at the time, or replaced by aliens. But I decided to check it out anyway. The first episode was difficult for me to get through, and in all honesty, I didn't like it. But, seeing as though it was a two parter I decided to watch the second episode and was more impressed. I gave the show a second chance and continued on to the third episode. Next thing I know, I'm watching episode nine going "My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah ah ah ah ah." singing along to the opening song.
After that day Markus and I started talking about the show, who our favourite pony was, which princess was better, and just about everything else you would expect two bronies to talk about. Of course it wasn't the only thing we discussed, but it was the best topic we had.
Two weeks later Markus and I are sitting in the school field when he asks me "You wanna spend the weekend at my place? My parents are leaving today so I have the house to myself for four days. We can hang out and do some stuff."
Most peoples responses would be: 'Sure','Let me think about it',or a simple 'no.' But my response was "This sounds like you're confessing your love to me and want to get in my pants." As usual Markus just laughs.
"No serious man," he says to me finally calming down, "come one it'll be fun. My parents are fine with it if it's just you."
I stare at him for a brief second still deciding.
He looks straight at me and says one word. That one word that makes any man feel guilty and ashamed if he does not honour it. "Please."
Dammit.
I tell my parents as soon as I get home where I'll be going. They're so happy for me for finally doing something like this. I start packing an overnight bag with what I'm going to bring.
Let's se now: Tooth brush?
Check.
Change of clothes?
Check.
ipod?
Check.
Sleeping bag?
Check.
Well, I guess I'm ready. I decide to bring my knife along just in case. I know I'm not going to need it, but I just admire this thing too much to be left behind. It's a good ten inches long, the blade takes up five-and-a-half and is three centimetres thick. I always keep it sharp. The handle is polished wooden handle with an carved eagle at the guard. The whole thing even comes with a sheathe that I can attach to my belt. I through it in my bag.
I leave for Markus's place at about 9:00 that night. It's nice and dark outside. I kind of like the darkness, to me it's so serene to me. Most people get scared and start thinking irrational thoughts, thats why most people think black repressents evil and white repressents good. I see the two as Yin-Yang, two sides of the same coin living in perfect harmony.
I am then cut off from my train of thought when I hear something. "psst, hey boy come over here." I hear a voice from an alley way, and there standing in the middle with a single light over him was a man. A person's first thought would be 'ignore him and keep walking. he's probably a drug dealer or something.' But me, I thought of one thing, but not what I usually think, which would have be 'unconcsiously insult him then see what happens after that.' But instead I thought of 'who is this man?'
This could have easily been the worst action I have ever made in my entire life. I walk down the alley to see what he wants to say. As I get closer to I him I'm given a better image on how he looks.
This guy is wearing a raggedy grey top hat with the joker card straped to it on his head. He has a brown plaid bathrobe (yes, I kid you not, a bathrobe) with a yellow vest and grey shirt underneath sporting a goldden pocketwatch next to his heart, and a slac tie around his neck. His pants were cut and stiched together with about another eight different pants, no real pattern. He had black ballroom dancer shoes on, and on his right hand was a red leather glove and a grey fingerless one on his left. They ontop of each other extended and supported by an cain that made me think of Charlie Chaplin. But the weirdest thing about how he dressed was that, all his clothes were scuffed up and looked raggedy, but at the same time he looked so regal, so formal, so... powerful.
I stood three feet away from him ready to fight or run if he made any weird moves. He brought his right hand up and took his top hat of with slightly less-then-gracefull bow. As he straightend himself out I could see his face. He had a four inch grey goatee down the end of his chin, his cheeks were slightly sucked in and had a crazy wide smile on his face. His hair was grey and slicked back. But his eyes were the weidest thing of all, they told me so much yet nothing at the same time, I've seen those eyes somewhere before, but I don't know where.
"Tell me boy how would you like to go to the happest place ever. And, no, it will not be Disneyland. All you have to do is pay a small fee of absolutely nothing at all." He said with that creepy smile on. I just now notice that one tooth on his right is much bigger than the rest.
Okay so at this point I have two ideas at who he is: one: He's a crazyman that might have to be on medication or two: He is a crappy drug dealer.
"Now I know just what you're thinking lad, 'This guy is nuts!' well how about this. I will personally send you to the one, the only, EQUESTRIA." That settles it, he's crazy. But looks so formal, like a king. The King of Crazy. "But don't worry, there will be no drugs, needles, or alcohol will be required. In fact, there won't even be physical contact of any kind." He looks straight at me with determination that I will go witj it. And you know what, I decide to go along with it.
"Alright geezer" I promptly say "if you say you can do this, then I agree. But what do you get out of this?" I ask cautiously.
"Oh just a little fun, something to pass the time, something to..." he waves his left hand in the air look for a word "be chaotic" he finishes. "So," he taps the cane on the ground "let's get this shindig going then."
Suddenly the temperature starts going up, wind started to pick up, and the air started to sparkle. This is creepy.
The old man just leaned against his can looking at his nails acting lik nothing going on. Suddeny a gigantic green snake slithers threw the ground and coils around me. It stays in a sperical shape surrounding me about six feet in diameter. The snake's body is transparent but is as soild as a tree. I start getting scared.
"Hey," I say in a shaky voice "this isn't funny. Now whatever it is you're doing stop it and let me out of here."
The King doesn't even look up and says "Sorry lad but you agreed to this."
THAT'S IT. I do the one thing I know how to do in this situation. Punch the thing. My fists are just stopping and bouncing off when I come into contact with the snake.
Things seem to picking up, whatever is going to happen is going to happen pretty soon. I hit hard.
Oh God, what's happening? Let me out of here. Come on punch harder.
*Thunk*
Harder!
*Thunk*
Harder!!
*Crack*
Ha! That one did it. One more punch.
*Smash*
The green sphere broke like glass but I wasn't hurt.
"Huh?" The Crazy King finally look up taking notice for the first time. "My, my, my, what do we have here?" He stare at the hole and holds my arm with his cane at the hook. "This is very interesting indeed."
The dome started to glow brightly, so bright I had to shield my eyes. The old man lets go of my arm "Toodloo, son, best of luck to you then.
And then it feels like the universe just stopped.