//------------------------------// // CH6: Technology // Story: PonyFall: Majestic Royalty // by DragonLS //------------------------------// Special Thanks to Proofreader: Bridgebrain, CheeseDeluxe, and Several Others I can't seem to remember... D: ***** Chapter 6: Technology Date: April 14th, 2012 Death by Bacon... That would make an interesting headline. It’s a shame that such a headline won’t pop up in the newspapers. After all, when a certain rainbow haired Powerpuff Girl eats such a thing, you expect her to die from an allergic reaction, not from fainting. But I digress, I was lucky it didn’t kill her to begin with. It didn’t take long for Celestia to regain consciousness after suffering from her bacon episode. When she woke up and found herself on the couch, she shot me a brief glare, and then looked towards the other direction. My guess was she was still angry over the whole thing. I mean, how could she blame me for that? How was I supposed to know she didn’t like bacon? Then again, she was originally a pony or an alicorn, whichever it is. I guess it should have been obvious. But damn, for me to forget basic information on such a common animal... Wait, why am I even thinking about this? My main concern was getting Celestia back into a better mood. I didn’t exactly want this barrier of awkwardness and anger getting between us, so I felt it was only logical to ask her something that would make her feel better. “So, did you like the bacon?” Instead, I said something that could earn me the ‘Jackass of the Year’ award. When she gave me a growl, I immediately corrected what I said. Or at least, I attempted to. “I mean, don’t get so angry about it! I’m sorry that you ate it, but it could have been a lot worse! It worried me to no end when you fainted like that. I mean, you’re a Herbivore--or a vegetarian in this case--, it was thoughtless of me and--” She interrupted me by waving a hand in my face with a sigh. “That’s not the point, Gerald. The point of the matter is that you didn’t tell me it was meat. I could have prepared myself otherwise.” “Er, what do you mean?” I asked, confused. “I mean I wouldn’t have eaten it if you told me,” Celestia pointed out. “Look, I’m sorry about that, alright? I didn’t realize it in time. Can you forgive me?” She looked at me for a moment and just gave another sigh as she looked in the other direction. I followed it. She was looking at the TV. “I’m not one to hold a grudge, Gerald, but you need to warn me from now on. I am unfamiliar with some of your human words here and your culture is very confusing, not to mention the level of technology you possess.” She looked towards me with a smile. “You are my guide, and it would be unfair for us to have ill feelings towards each other.” “Whew, I’m glad.” I put out a hand. She raised a brow at it, confused. It looked like I needed to explain things again. “Here in the human world, we have things called handshakes. We put our right hands together and give it a firm shake. It symbolizes an agreement or deal. In this case, we put aside the matter we just had. So…” I put my hand out once more. “No hard feelings?” I asked. She brought out her hand, wrapping her fingers around my palm and gave it a firm shake with a smile. “No hard feelings.” “Although… there is something I want to ask you though.” “You’re welcome to ask.” Actually, I didn’t know what to ask her. For the sake of carrying on the conversation, I needed something to ask… wait, there is one, although,should I ask it? Without much else on my mind, I decided to. “Have you eaten meat before?” ‘Oh, sure, good job genius, you just screwed yourself once again by asking her a meat-type question. She’s never going to forgive you at this rate…’ Despite my reply, she only raised a brow towards me. She only gave a sigh as she leaned back against the couch. “Tell me, are you familiar with griffins?” It wasn’t the answer I was expecting, but whatever. “I’m familiar with the creatures, yes. Half eagle, half lion, right?” “Indeed. You see, Gerald, back in my own world of Equestria, hundreds of years ago. I had to take a visit to the griffin kingdom for treaty negotiations.” “Treaty negotiations?” ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen that from the show… Maybe it’s an MLP episode I haven’t seen yet?’ Regardless, I sat back and listened. Celestia gave a nod. “Yes. You see, we were at war, always going neck and neck against each other. Over time, our battles were spread thin, and we were getting tired of the conflict. So the King of the Griffins sent a letter to me for peace negotiations, face to face.” “It was that bad?” “For the King to send me a letter, it was. He was rather stubborn, but even he must have known that the casualties were too high. Regardless, I went there right away with some guards of my own, in case it was all a hoax… In war, even the most forthright of kings can fake a treaty letter. A low blow, but possible. Fortunately, however, he was true to his word.” “So what does this have to do with my question?” “Patience, Gerald. Now, part of this treaty involved me sitting at the King’s banquet table; with plates of raw meat, be it pigs or chickens. It goes without saying I was rather uncomfortable. But for this treaty to happen, I needed to stay calm, and participate in the… festivities of the table.” “Quite a story there. So, how did you survive the treaty negotiation?” "It certainly wasn't easy. They brought out several dishes not common to Equestria," She glanced off to the side and frowned. "One of which, of course, was raw meat. I believe it was chicken. I had to use some precautionary magic to prepare myself first, however.” “What do you mean by ‘precautionary magic’?” “I numbed my taste buds with a small spell. I then proceeded to eat what was on the table. Unfortunately, I grew rather nauseous and sick after negotiations were over. I may be able to fool my mouth, but not my mind.” She said with a nervous laugh. I guess anyone could go far if the reason was dire enough. But one thing still bugs me though… If she’s incapable of eating raw meat, can she eat cooked meat? She did enjoy eating the bacon that was on the table earlier, but is it a subject I should ask her? “I see… I had no idea. When it comes to politics, it’s necessary to take certain precautions and ideas in order to aim for a positive conclusion, after all. But one thing still bothers me…” “Yes?” “If you hate meat so much, why did you enjoy the bacon? It was right before you fainted that you said you enjoyed it, or it tasted good. I can’t exactly remember what you said, but it was a positive answer.” Celestia went a bit wide-eyed at me, and she tapped her chin. “W-well…” she muttered. “I… don’t know? I suppose it was a… rather… how do I put this?” “It was a what?” Celestia looked the other way, her eyes darting back and forth between me and somewhere else. What’s her problem? The very mention of liking bacon and... wait, could it be...? I snapped my fingers in realization. “I get it now! You hate raw meat, but you enjoy cooked meat, right?” Celestia sat up from the couch and shot me an angry glare. “T-this conversation is over!” I raised a brow when I saw her walk off upstairs. I couldn’t help but give a confused look, with one eye squinted. It’s not like her to get angry—wait, why IS she angry? She’s always so calm and calculated in the show. But here, she gets angry over the littlest things. But still, what got her pissed off? It couldn’t be because I asked if she liked cooked meat.  “The hell did I say wrong? Hey, wait! I’m sorry! Come back here!” ****** Apparently Celestia didn’t want to talk to me about her ‘Meaty Adventures’ any longer. My guess is she took offense at what I said, and she was rather quiet because of that. I decided to tell her I’ll lay off the line of topic for now, and I apologized soon after. It didn’t take her long to start talking to me again after that. Besides, I had more pressing matters than knowing about her meaty story: Her living here. I still had some slight doubts on how this was going to work out, but the fact she’s Princess Celestia here on earth, in human form, is confusing. Why was she sent here by Discord? Was it all some accident? Or is it some other malicious purpose? Regardless, the answers to these questions are unknown, and I’ll probably never get the answers to any of them, but maybe with time. In the meantime, I should get her situated here. The first thing I need to do is get her some clothes. Without clothes, she’s going to have a difficult time. And without knowing the outside world, she’ll have a nightmare of learning about society. I put my shoes on and dressed in a gray t-shirt with some black camo shorts, made sure I had my wallet, phone and especially my car keys. Celestia still had on what was given to her by Gordon, but I decided to have her wear my spare sandals, mainly because I didn’t have any other shoes that could fit her. If the experiences of my house surprised her, she was going to be surprised at my car, I was sure… “What… is that thing?” My thoughts exactly on her reaction; confusion and curiosity. When we stood outside, she saw my car, my average black car. Nothing fancy by any means, but something I bought from a Used Car sale. All of those fancy dealerships and their fancy iPod mountings… All I need is something on four wheels, a CD player, AC, and something that doesn’t drain the gas like a bodybuilder on steroids, especially in these economic times. “This…” I said as I patted the top of my vehicle. “…is a car. Basically, a type of transportation similar to trains, except it doesn’t run on rails: It can go virtually anywhere.” “A train without tracks…? What sorcery is this?” “No sorcery, just science and engineering, Celest—“, I nearly bit my tongue when I said her name once more. It was getting annoying. I opened the passenger door and waved in, motioning her to enter. “Hop on in, you’ll see in a moment.” She seemed rather reluctant in going inside, but curiosity got the better of her I’m sure. She slowly ducked her head in and looked at the seat, but it looked like she was hesitating at her decision. I just sighed and pushed her butt in with my palm. The way she landed in the seat was a bit funny, but I dared not laugh, or else she would just get pissed off… Actually, never mind, she gave me a pissed off look. She was sitting in the seat and looked towards me confused and a bit peeved. “What was that for?” “You were being slow, Celestia. Honestly, there’s nothing to worry about this little ol’ beauty of mine. It’s not like it’ll come alive and eat you.” I didn’t wait for her response and closed the door on her. She was knocking through the glass and I think she was yelling with the way she was opening her mouth, it was hard to tell since I couldn’t hear a word. I went into the driver’s side of the car and entered it. She just crossed her arms and sighed. “There was no need to push me in. I could have gotten in on my own.” “Stubborn today, aren’t we?” “I’m not stubborn. I was merely examining what was inside. What you did was uncalled for.” “We have a human saying in this world: ‘slow and steady wins the race.’ But if there’s no race to win then you’re wasting time…” I said to her. She just ‘hmphed’ at my response. I decided that I might as well give her a little scare if she was going to be like that. I turned the key into the ignition as I heard the car’s engine start up. The reaction she gave almost made me giggle like a schoolgirl, but instead I held it back and it came out as stifled laughter. Her limbs just went flying around as she got scared out of her mind. Her eyes were darting back and forth, horrified. “W-what was that?” If she got freaked out by that little noise, I might as well push it a little further. A smile crept on my lips. “Well you see… I forgot to mention that this car is rather sensitive to whom the passengers are.” I leaned in towards Celestia and whispered. “Given its reaction, I believe it wants to eat you…” Celestia went wide-eyed as horror struck her face. “B-but I thought you said—“ “I lied.” She immediately looked around the car, most liekly looking for a way out. I couldn’t help but laugh loudly at the spectacle. She stopped fumbling with the gadgets of the car and looked at me as I lost control. “W-what is so funny!? We need to get out of here, this… this monstrosity is going to kill us!” “Ah heh… hoo… I’m joking Celestia… It’s not going to eat you. I lied about the part where it was going to turn you into its next meal… You really need to calm down Celestia, have a sense of humor…” “T-that was not funny!” She said with a furrowed brow. “To me it was. But seriously, relax…” Although, I could tell she was shaking from that little prank. I gave a sigh. “Alright, fine. I promise nothing will hurt you, alright? Would it help if I explained what was going to happen before I did it?” “Y-yes, please do…” I gave a nod as I placed the stick from P to R. Before I backpedaled out of the driveway, I had to make sure she didn’t go berserk. “Alright Celestia, here’s the thing… We’re going to start moving, and you’re going to see a lot of things around you I’m sure you’ve never seen before; some strange, some unique, and some that might scare the hell out of you. So if you have any questions, just ask me, alright? I promise nothing is going to hurt you.” “Very well Gerald.” “Now, first thing you need to experience…” I began as I pressed on the gas, backing out of the driveway. I could see Celestia flinching from the movement as she looked all around her. I merely sighed, wondering how many questions she was going to ask me along the way… “…would be the actual drive itself.” ***** I immediately regretted having her come with me. As we drove around the city, she asked me so many questions that it was mind boggling, and they didn’t stop coming. At least it was better than her constant nagging me to slow the car down because I was going too fast. She called herself an Alicorn and I’m going too fast? Christ, next thing you know she’ll see a dead animal on the side of the road. Oh damn it; I better hope she doesn’t ask me that. She’ll probably accuse my race for savages. Anyway, she took in her surroundings a little too well. She didn’t seem to be surprised at the buildings, but she did mention how amazed she was on the size of them. I guess she meant company buildings that were like fifty stories tall. Sometimes even I didn’t know what they’re for. You just get used to seeing them as you drive past them. But I digress, no point in knowing about it if it serves you no purpose. She told me how it reminded her a bit about New Colt City, which sounded like a ripoff of New York City, but whatever. There were only two stores I knew around here that were close by: Target, and Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart seemed to have the cheaper prices, but it was a little further than Target. Then again, that place is a nest full of weird people. There was even one time when I saw a guy wearing a bra inside the store. I shit you not, a pink bra and blue jeans. But then there was Target, which was closer. They had a clothing standard which I respect, so you didn’t end up seeing a random hobo inside the store. Plus the store’s atmosphere was pretty accepting and it didn’t look like a damn half-assed warehouse. So anyway, yep, Target it is. With my hand focused on the steering wheel driving through the busy streets of Atlanta, Celestia continued to bombard me with questions. I also had the radio off since I would prefer her not asking me questions about that too… She was giving me a headache as it was. “What’s that sign over there?” “That’s an advertisement for Coca Cola…” “And what about that sign?” “That’s a Lawyer Advertisement…” “Who is that woman on that sign?” “That’s an escor—“ I immediately shut my mouth up when I saw the sign she pointed at. Escort services on an ad sign? Good lord, what is this city coming to? It was best not to tell her what it was exactly, however. “A um…” I tried to find a lie that would be more fitting to the situation, while she looked at me with a raised brow. Wait, actually… “Hold on, Celestia, can you understand any of the words on the signs?” “Why no, I can’t; although… it looks REALLY similar to the language of the Equish.” “The Equish? Is that the language of the ponies of your world?” “Indeed. I thought you were speaking the same language as I am?” “No, in several places of this world, we speak several different languages. In this country, we speak English, and Spanish I believe. What you’re speaking now is English.” “Strange… I wonder how I’m speaking your language?” “It’s a mystery to me as well. But it’s convenient at least. One less thing for you to learn. But it seems like you’re gonna have to learn to read.” I looked at another nearby sign, showing an ad for Burger King. I decided to test her. I pointed to a sign that was coming up. “See that sign right there? Read what it says.” I could see Celestia squinting her eyes at the sign, giving it a good look. I hope she hurries before we pass it… “Bur… ger…” But it was too late… We ended up passing it after she said the first two syllables. “Huh… you managed to say two syllables on the sign. I guess Equish and English are similar in a way… This is good.” “I got them right?” “Only one word… I blame how fast I’m going, though. You didn’t have enough time.” “I see… ooh, what’s that sign right there?” Oh great, more questions concerning signs… I looked at the nearby sign she pointed at, and saw that it was a big bulls-eye. We were stopped at a red light, and I could see it more clearly, and nodded. “That would be our destination. That sign is basically a Bulls-eye, in other words, a store, called Target. “Target? Why name a store from something that an arrow gets shot to?” “The names around here can be a bit stupid… but they’re stores. God knows why they name ‘em like that.” “They?” “The owners of the stores.” I flipped on the turn blinker and drove into the parking lot of Target, satisfied that I had finally reached my objective. What I also liked about Target was the in-door garage on the bottom. No worrying about rain or bird crap getting on your car. Although, the bird crap still happens, just a lot more rarely. After assisting Celestia with the car door, we both got out, and headed towards Target… ***** As we stepped towards the automatic doors, Celestia was once again surprised. She was going to be surprised by every little piece of technology around here, it seemed. I nudged her along saying that it wasn’t going to hurt her, and explained it was just a door that opens when you get close to it. She mentioned how it seemed similar to magic, but I just dismissed it. Then there were the escalators. She was amazed at how stairs could move on their own with no magic, but I just explained that it was due to the electricity that runs through the machinery. Once again, I nudged her along to go up the escalator, but it was a bit comical to see her hold on the rails as if her life depended on it. I just shook my head and went up the escalator normally. She wasn’t far behind when she realized how to go about it the right way. “You’re having fun doing this to me, aren’t you?” “No Celestia, you’re letting reality make fun of you. Like I said: Relax.” “I am trying, Gerald, but these things you call technology are beginning to make me nerv—“ I placed a finger on Celestia’s lips, and for some reason, I could see her face getting a little red. I wondered why? But regardless, I needed to assure her. “I said relax. Nothing’s going to harm you here while I’m around, alright? Sheesh…” Reluctantly, she gave me a nod. I only sighed in return. I looked at the store, pleased by the sight of it. Sections of clothes, registers, and even certain spots for groceries filled my vision. In the back would be the Electronics section, and I thought they might have those greeting cards too… just so much around here, and it was a bit of a family friendly store too. Damn I loved coming here. “Like, omigosh! Richie? Is that you?” …That is, I used to, until a rather annoying voice came from behind. My vision went black as I felt something soft block my vision. “Guess who Richie.” “Melissa, you really need to stop this game of ‘Guess Who.’ It’s getting on my nerves.” My vision finally returned to light as a long haired red-head in a Target uniform stood in front of me, with a pouty face. “Aww, how did you know who I was?” “It’s simple… hyperactive, plays guess who, gets on my nerves sometimes, and someone who can equal me on fair grounds in Halo. Who else could it be?” Right, where to begin? This is Melissa, a college mate of mine, Age 20. Red long hair, and wears a Target uniform. To put it simply, she’s just an annoying friend of mine that has a habit of not leaving me alone. But she’s also a gaming kind of girl, and it’s rare to find those types of women around here these days. She also had a habit of shirking her duties in Target as a Customer Service employee, which she was doing right now. I could see Celestia was confused as to who this individual was. “Gerald, who is this woman?” “This… would be Melissa, a college friend of mine. And Melissa, shouldn’t you be working right now? You don’t want to get yelled at, do you?” “Heh heh! Don’t worry about it Richie, I’m on break for 20 minutes! So I get to do whatever I want until my time is up.” Melissa said in a high-pitched voice. “Great… so my headache gets stronger…” I thought to myself. “So Richie, who’s the hot knocker you picked up this time? A friend of yours, or…” She came disturbingly close to my ear, and whispered, “a ‘special’ friend?” I immediately backed away from her, with a blush on my face. “D-don’t be ridiculous! She’s just a friend of mine that I’m taking care of at the moment. It’s NOTHING like that!” Why am I getting flustered over Melissa’s comment? It’s not like me and Celestia are… are… I shook my head. “Look, anyway, we’re busy right now Melissa. So if you’ll excuse—“ I was about to walk away with Celestia without another word, but she got in the way. “Nuh-uh! I’m an employee of Target. It is my job to be of assistance.” “I thought you said you were on break?” “Doesn’t mean I can’t do my job on my break.” “That doesn’t make any sense…” “Um… Gerald?” Celestia poked my arm, getting my attention. “Who is this ‘Richie’ she keeps referring to?” I sighed, this was going to be a long day if I had to explain every damn thing… I looked at Melissa.  “She’s referring to me… And darn it Melissa, I told you to stop calling me Richie.” “Aww, why not? It’s the perfect name for a guy who’s in a rich family.” “You… you’re rich?” Celestia said to me, surprised. I sighed once more. “No, I’m not. My family is, but I’m not. It’s a long story Celestia, and I’d rather not talk about it…” “But Richieeeeee, you told meeee about it…” Melissa said with teasing in her eyes. “Yes, but that’s because you wouldn’t stop pester—“, I stopped talking and tried to focus my thoughts on the situation at hand. “Look, both of you… I haven’t contacted my family in a long time, and I have no plans of using their money. I’m living on my own, and making money on my own. That’s that, alright? Now would you lay off it?” I said with a slightly higher tone. This seemed to immediately shut Melissa up. My family… I guess you could say I’m not on the best of terms with them. I left them a long time ago when I decided to live on my own, and I made a vow to never use their money for my own benefit. Of course they had to force the Butler thing on me too, but that was the only thing I was willing to allow: I just wanted to get away from them and live my life the way I want it to be, without any outside help. Both Celestia and Melissa stood there in silence for a few seconds, before Celestia spoke up. “Gerald, I… apologize if it was a sore subject for you.” Celestia said with a frown. “Yeah Richie, I’m sorry…” Melissa said with a giggle. “Stop calling me Richie!” I swear, Melissa never changes, no matter what I say to her, be it joking or otherwise. “Sooo anyway, all this sappy crap out of the way—and I’m sorry for bringing it up—what brings you here?” Melissa asked. Water under the bridge, eh? I just hope she doesn’t bring it up again. “I’m here to purchase some clothes for Celestia.” “Celestia?” She looked at Celestia from top to bottom, walking around her as if examining her. Then she gave a really loud squeal. I nearly covered my ears from that. I could see her running her fingers through Celestia’s rainbow hair, as if she was amazed by it. “Wow, I didn’t notice before, but you have amazing hair! How are you managing it?  It must be a nightmare getting all the knots out when you’re brushing in the morning. And it feels so soft, you should definitely tell me who dyed your hair and what shampoo you use!” She then started to rub her face in it, which kinda creeped me out. “It feels soooo smooth and fluffy.” Celestia snatched her hair away from her, and backed away, a little scared. “P-please don’t do that again… I’ve had this hair since I was born…” Celestia said. But this only added fuel to the fire as Melissa makes another attempt. I just facepalmed at her curiosity. Can someone tell me why she hasn’t been fired yet!? ***** AN: Yes yes yes, I haven’t updated in over a month, I apologize for that. I got pretty busy and my focus wasn’t on this. I doubt this new chapter will make up for it, but hey, NEW CHAPTER! YAY! And stuff.