Discord always looked forward to his annual Tuesday Teas with Fluttershy. It gave him a chance to truly unwind and just enjoy the company of his first (and closest) friend. Fluttershy always made him want to be a better draconequus.
As always happened during these friendly little get togethers, the spirit livened things up by telling jokes. It helped that Fluttershy had a terrific sense of humor.
"Oh, but I haven't even told you the best part yet," Discord said to Fluttershy in between fits of laughter. "So I noticed my some of my limbs were missing, but they weren't anywhere I could see. When I went to look for them again though, they were on the ceiling. Can you believe it?! Of all the places they could've ended up, it had to be there."
Fluttershy giggled while making sure not to drop the tea cup she was holding. "That's a new one, Discord. I swear, I've never met anyone as funny as you are," Snickering a little she added. "I still remember the joke you told about the time you tried to train your right leg, to fetch your left paw."
The spirit laughed anew. "Well what I can say? I'm a walking, talking, joke machine. And that's not all I can do."
The pegasus mare with a coat of butter yellow smiled as she sipped down the last of her tea. "You're making such great progress, Discord. You've come a long way since my friends and I first freed you from stone a few years ago. Time sure has flown."
"Indeed it has, and it's been a ride I wouldn't have missed out on for the world," Discord declared. "Had I known friendship came with so many benefits, I'd have made the switch a lot sooner. Oh well, at least I'm enjoying it now," And then he eyed the cucumber sandwiches. "You always make the best finger foods, Fluttershy. You know me too well." As he spoke the tips of his fingers came to life, taking on the form of mini Discords.
One of the mini Discords burped and coughed out bubbles after it had eaten. Discord eyed the mini version of himself and scolded. "Now what do you say?"
"Excuse me." The mini Discord commented in a high pitched voice as it blushed bright red.
Discord put his paw down, calling back the miniature versions of himself. "So ill behaved, I really can't take them anywhere. Perhaps I should sign them up for those etiquette lessons I hear Scootaloo's Aunt Holiday always offers. Come to think of it, I don't believe I've met her or Auntie Lofty. I hope they don't have the wrong idea about the times I've hung out with the CMC."
"Oh don't worry, everypony knows you've come a long way from the spirit you used to be." Fluttershy reassured her friend.
"Oh you're just saying that." Discord commented as he waved a paw.
Fluttershy shook her head. "I'm not, Discord. Even Princess Celestia says she couldn't have imagined a better scenario for you now. Part of her feared that reforming you wouldn't work, and that she'd have to keep having you turned back to stone every time the Elements of Harmony picked new bearers."
"That's a nightmare I wouldn't wish on even my most hated of enemies. Well, aside from Lord Tirek but we both know we deserves far worse," The spirit teased. "Maybe I should send him a post card to let him know what he's missing out on while he's stuck in Tartarus."
But just then, another version of Discord tapped his counterpart on the shoulder. "Not that I mean to interrupt this 'wonderful' conversation you're having, but aren't you forgetting something?" He asked as he eyed a watch mounted on his right wrist.
The original Discord shook his head. "I couldn't possibly be forgetting anything really important. I always write down the really important stuff on my calendar," With a snap of his talons he produced it. "See? It says right here that the only thing on the schedule for today, is Tuesday Tea with Fluttershy."
"Well that's funny," The other Discord replied as he produced his own calendar. "Because according to my handy-dandy always up to date notebook, it says here that you're slated to host Twilight Sparkle for tea at this very time. Exactly one week from today I might add."
"What?! Let me see that notebook!" The original Discord demanded and snatched it away. He scanned it once, then twice, then three times. It was right there, written for all to see. In large letters that read: URGENT: DO NOT FORGET!, beneath it was written the time 3:00 P.M. and the words "Tea with Twilight".
The other Discord smirked. "See? I told you you were forgetting something. Honestly, what would you do without me to remind you?"
The original Discord responded by producing a hole beneath his counterpart's mismatched legs.
"Why I didn't see that coming? I hate you so much." The other Discord declared, before he let out a scream and plunged into the hole.
The original Discord then sealed up the hole and punched a hole in it with one of his claws, causing it to fly away.
Fluttershy took the news of Discord's surprise other engagement quite well. "You scheduled a Tuesday Tea with Twilight?"
"It's not a Tuesday Tea," Discord retorted with a wave of his paw. "It's a tea with Twilight, it just... happens to fall on a Tuesday is all. Just a happy coincidence if you know what I'm saying. Happens all the time."
"Really, Discord?" Fluttershy questioned. "Seems like a very unusual coincidence to me. I don't mind sharing our Tuesday Teas with others if that's what you're thinking about. It'd be wonderful to have Rarity or Rainbow Dash join in."
The spirit rolled his eyes, eye balls and all. "Fluttershy, I assure you that there is no friend greater than you that I would like to spend time with. These Tuesday Teas have always been special and always will be. But it seems I'll have to take a rain check or whatever you call it on the next one."
The pegasus with a coat of butter yellow wasn't satisfied by the elusive answers Discord was giving, so she turned up the third degree. "Is there something you want to tell me, Discord? Something important that I should know?"
"Well, let me wash my paws first and I'll tell you all about it," Discord replied as he snapped his paws and produced a faucet from out of nowhere. Once he was satisfied with the scrubbing and rinsing, he turned back to his friend and told her with a sigh. "I've been... thinking about things lately."
"You mean, like Tirek things?" Fluttershy reluctantly asked. "I'm sure Twilight has long forgiven you for that. Especially after Princess Luna helped you overcome the nightmares you kept having related to them."
Discord shook his head, twisting it back into place when he accidentally shook it too hard and made it crocked. "It's not that, Fluttershy. Tirek is but a symptom of the bigger problem," He snapped his talons again, conjuring up a big red couch not unlike the one you'd see in a psychiatrist's office which he promptly lay down on. "I'm not sure when exactly this started, but I started doing some thinking. About me, about Twilight, about our association ever since I became reformed and she became a princess. I started to realize I didn't have the best track record, both as a reformed spirit and as a friend."
Fluttershy fluttered over, sitting next to Discord so that she could make eye contact with him. "Don't say such things, Discord! You know that's not true!"
"Oh Fluttershy, we both know it is. You lie almost as badly as Applejack does," Discord glumly retorted. "First there was the plunder seeds that I deliberately didn't tell Twilight about."
"To teach her a lesson. Besides, if you had told her the girls would've turned you back to stone and we'd have been stuck with no way to get the princesses back," Fluttershy protested. "And with Tirek, you were tricked. And let's not forget that by siding with him, you unintentionally got him to give you the final key to the chest."
But then Discord sighed again. "And what do you have to say about the Grand Galloping Gala incident? Even though I wasn't trying to cause trouble for Twilight, I still did. I made myself look like a selfish jerk. Then what was the next big thing I did in front of Twilight? I tried to rope her friends into keeping a secret from her and if she weren't so nosy it probably would've worked. More recently, I went around talking up the big news she was going to give regarding Starlight. And I feel like maybe I enjoyed messing with her a little too much. Face it, Fluttershy. When it comes to ponies other than you, and when it comes to creatures other than Spike, I can never do anything right! I've been a terrible friend! It's high time I did something about it!"
"And a Tuesday Tea in your dimension was your answer?" Fluttershy questioned.
"I panicked, I didn't know what else to do! But Spike's already put the date on Twilight's calendar and it'd be rude to just back out like this," The spirit confessed. "All I can hope for is that despite my inexperience with hosting any kind of parties, I can throw a nice enough tea party for Twilight so then I can finally say I didn't mess things up with her for once. Is that too much to hope for: Maybe. Am I gonna try anyway because I'm just that kind of guy: Probably. Will I succeed: Well that's the fun part. And fun by I mean terrifying!"
Despite the serious concerns her friend was voicing, the pegasus couldn't help but giggle. "It's only a tea party, Discord. It's not the end of the world. I've hosted worse tea parties and I haven't lost a friend," Once she had gotten her giggling around control she made an offer. "I could give you some pointers on how to host a tea party if you really want. For instance, it helps to know what kind of tea your friend wants. Everypony has different tastes."
"No thank you, Fluttershy. You're always the one sticking up for me and bailing me out when I get into trouble. But this is one time where I gotta do things by myself," Discord firmly declared as he rose and the couch disappeared. "I'd say to wish me luck but let's be real, I'm gonna need much more than luck to pull this off."
"Discord, wait!" Fluttershy called but to no avail, her friend was gone. She turned around, noticing that he had accidentally left the faucet from earlier running. "Maybe you could help me clean up?" A second later, there was a brilliant flash and everything was as it was when Discord had arrived.
Leaving Fluttershy's cottage, Discord teleported himself to a spot in the middle of Ponyville's park, a place where he could be alone with his thoughts. He sat on a stump and started tapping his paw against his head. "Come on, Discord. Think, think, think. Wait, hold on..." He paused for a moment, convinced an idea was about to come to him. But whatever it might have been slipped his mind. "Oh poo, I've got nothing!" He complained. "Of all the things to mess up, why does it have to be the one thing that actually matters?! I'm supposed to be the one who makes chaos happen, it's not supposed to happen to me!"
"Having trouble are we?" The other Discord from before questioned. "I'm not surprised. I knew something like this would happen."
"I'm sorry, did I place an order for your commentary?" Discord remarked as he turned to face his other self. "Look here, pal. When I feel like I'm in need of comments from some 'peanut gallery' I'll gladly fill out a purchase order. So if you're just here to rub it in you can go."
The other Discord shook a finger. "My my, you've really gotta work on that temper. You'll never impress the princess like that."
Discord sighed, reluctantly sensing his other self wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Fine, fine. But you know how important this is, don't you? Only got one shot at it."
The other Discord nodded. "Agreed. We've got to really knock this one out of the park!" As he spoke he hit a baseball with a baseball bat he'd produced out of nowhere. "This could make or break our future. And by our future, I mean yours."
"Right, right, right. Got only a week to get everything settled," Discord commented. "Now let's see, if we're going to have a tea party we need tea, obviously. And the princess deserves only the best. Ooh, and then we'll need the best kettle they've got!"
"So let's stop talking and start doing! When the going gets tough, that's when the tough go shopping!" The other Discord declared. "No expense to be spared, everything must be just right!"
"Exactly! I'm so glad you finally understand!" Discord smiled. "Sure is great talking to you."
An elderly earth pony mare turned her head. "What was that? Were you talking to me? I'm sorry, my hearing ain't what it used to be."
"No, I was clearly talking to my other self in case you couldn't tell," Discord retorted. "There's a clear difference. But I can't waste time on idle chit chat. That tea party's not gonna throw itself you know. Tata!"
Discord teleported himself to the only tea shop he knew of in Ponyville. Since his guest was from Ponyville it only made sense to get her tea from a store in Ponyville.
The mare at the counter was an earth pony mare with a dark purple coat, a lavender-pink mane and tail with bangs beside the right eye, eyes a sparkling blue in color, and a cutie mark depicting a coffee mug and three tea leaves. "May I help you, good sir?" She asked.
Discord cleared his throat. "As a matter of fact, yes. I mean that's what you're here for isn't it? I'm here to pick up some tea for a very important occasion. I'll be having tea with Princess Twilight."
The mare raised an eyebrow. "You're having tea with Princess Twilight?"
"Yes, I'm having tea with Princess Twilight. Is there an echo in here or something?" The spirit remarked. "I don't have much time, only a week to get everything just right! So tell me, what's the kind of tea to get if one wants to impress a princess?"
The mare just chuckled. "Oh we have a fine selection. I have a feeling Princess Twilight would really love our ginseng tea, it's the finest in the land."
"Really? And what sort of song does it sing? Is it a big orchestral piece or more of a jazzy tune? I'm bit of a jazz fan myself if you hadn't noticed." As he spoke, the spirit briefly donned an attire he'd worn once before when he had been trying to show Spike and Big Mac what a "real" guy's night looked like.
The mare only shook her head. "Oh it doesn't sing anything, it's just tea. Are you sure you should be hosting the princess for tea? Seems like you two could hardly be friends."
"Shows what you know. I happen to be very good friends with all the princesses!" Discord boasted. "But non-singing ginseng tea is boring, and I hate boring. Luckily, I know just how to 'spice' it up!" With a snap of his talons he brought the bags of ginseng to life and they started to sing a merry little tune. "Ooh, I'm liking this song already! I'll take the whole box. Thank you for your service, goodbye!" He disappeared with a snap of his talons, only to reappear a moment later. "Oopsie, forgot to pay. Here," He deposited a huge pile of bits onto the counter. "Keep the change, I don't need it." Then he disappeared again.
The next spot to receive a visit from Discord was a store that specialized in tea sets. In the back of the shop, an earth pony mare with a dull yellow coat, a dull reddish-pink mane and tail, brown eyes, and a cutie mark depicting a jug and a bowl, was perched on a ladder. She was trying to put a green colored tea kettle back on the shelf, when Discord teleported in and startled her!
Fortunately, Discord caught her with a snap of his talons. "Hello there, splendid to see a fellow pony," He greeted warmly. "Hope I didn't spook you too much. No need to hog all the fun."
The mare just glanced at Discord and asked him. "W-what do you want? Make it quick, please. I don't need my whole store turned upside down again."
"Oh relax, I'm not here for you! You must think I'm the grim reaper or something!" Discord teased. "What is with you ponies? Do you always get so freaked out when I enter a room?" Then he cleared his throat. "Anyway, I need a tea kettle for a very important tea party with Princess Twilight."
"You and Princess Twilight, having tea together? That doesn't even begin to make sense," The mare questioned. "How can you guys be friends after all you've done?"
"I'm here to buy a tea kettle, not have ponies comment on my taste in friends," The spirit retorted. "So tell me, what sort of tea kettles do you sell here? I need something with as much style and grace as I have in my daily life." He briefly dawned a peacock suit and fluffed out his feathers.
The mare just nervously replied. "Take anything you want from the kettle section, e-except the green one. That's a one of a kind one, irreplaceable."
"Is it green because it's jealous of the other kettles? Does it do anything special maybe?" Discord asked.
"No, it just pours tea. That's what all our kettles do around here." The mare answered.
The spirit snorted. "Oh come on! Does everything you ponies work with have to so boring?! Where's the chaos?! Oh well, I guess I have to do everything around here," Snapping his talons, he made one of the tea kettles sprout wings. It landed on the tip of his right finger. "Ooh, I think it likes me. I'll take it. And don't worry about the wrapping, I'll walk it home myself. Here's your payment, you're welcome!" He departed after snapping his talons, raining down a huge pile of bits on the mare.
With the proper tea and kettle taken care of, Discord's next destination was a party store that had been mentioned to him by Pinkie Pie. He quickly procured a cart and wheeled it down the isles in search of the perfect party supplies. "If it's for Princess Twilight it has to be the best. I'll spare no expense on the decorations!"
The spirit soon picked up a pinata and placed it in his cart. It didn't move or blink once. "Good... but not nearly good enough," He snapped his talons, watching as the pinata came to laugh and let out a sneeze. Confetti shot out of its nose. "Ah yes, much better! This is one pinata nopony's gonna wack. Now what else? Oh of course, napkins! Fluttershy says they're always important, can't forget those."
Discord eyed the colored napkins, but he didn't like how plain they looked to him. "Maybe I'll simply make them... ah, well, I could... or... No. I've got nothing. Can't work with napkins," He let out a sigh. "How do I make these better? What should I do? Come on, think!"
Then an idea came to him. "Aha! What if I make them... make them glow?! No, that's not enough! I need to show Twilight I take this seriously! So what would show that this tea party means something? Something you won't get anywhere else?" He pondered as the glowing napkins stared back at him, as if daring him to do something. "Should I make them fly?" He contemplated as he did just that. "Yes, that'll work. But what else? Glow, fly, and..." Then he chuckled. "And fold! Yeah, perfect! Glow, fly, fold into fun shapes, perhaps? Oh I've got so many ideas, so little time."
Just then a very familiar bubbly voice called out. "Uh, Discord? You okay? You're talking to yourself, like literally talking to yourself if you know what I mean."
"Ah, Pinkie Pie! How funny to see you here!" Discord commented in surprise as he spun around and found himself face to face with the party pony.
"What are you talking about, Discord? I always come here," Pinkie replied with a confused look before she giggled. "This is the only place in Ponyville where I can stock up on supplies. Parties don't plan themselves you know."
Discord giggled back. "Of course I know, I've heard about your party planning cave. Your secret's safe with me by the way," Then he changed the subject after giving a knowing wink. "As the party pony and the first friend Princess Twilight ever made here in Ponyville, you're just the sort of pony I needed to run into. I need your advice. I'm hosting a tea party for Twilight, and it has to be perfect. No! It has to be even better than perfect!"
"Well that's funny!" Pinkie commented. "Twilight told me this morning that the tea party was tomorrow. Said she was really looking forward to it even if it was in your dimension."
Discord gasped! "Tomorrow?! Oh my gosh, I must've gotten the dates mixed up! Quick, tell me I've got everything I need for the party! Tell me I'm not forgetting anything!"
The pink party pony just waved a hoof. "Oh, Discord. You're waaaaaay overthinking things. You just need to make Twilight comfortable. It should be pretty easy for you though. Sorry I can't help, but I've got lots of other parties to shop for. Such is the life of a party pony."
The spirit breathed a small sigh of relief. "Thanks for the heads up, Pinkie. I would've hated to have come home and not set things up properly for Twilight's visit. You really know how to cheer me up."
"Eh, it's what I do," Pinkie declared and bounced away. "Now where can I find the glowing, flying, self-folding napkins?"
Discord returned to his dimension, thinking over and over again about the advice Pinkie had given him. "Make Twilight feel comfortable, make Twilight feel comfortable, comfortable, comfortable... Well, I mean, that shouldn't be a problem. This is me we're talking about here."
But when Discord opened the door to his house he found himself suddenly stricken with a sense of dread. The sentient pinata from earlier was sneezing, bouncing up and down before it jumped into the nearby portal. A miniature volcano bubbled, spewing tiny bits of lava from its top. The flying teapot bumped into everything in its path. And the singing ginseng floated around.
"Oh dear. This... might be a problem," Discord thought out loud. Then he shook his head. "No, I can't think like that now! Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is? Maybe I just... need to get a second opinion on this? Yeah, that's it. A second opinion!"
Unfortunately, when the other Discord was brought in and observed the state of the house, he let out a gasp as his eyes widened with horror! He picked up the newspaper he'd been reading and hit his other self over the head with it. "What were you thinking?! Twilight would never be comfortable in a place like this! What do you have to say for yourself?! Can't you do anything right?!"
"I was just trying to make the tea party different and special like me. But all I did was make it chaotic and weird... like me," The original Discord explained. "Oh, what if those ponies at the tea shop and the china shop were right? If Twilight sees this she'll be weirded out and probably won't wanna be friends anymore! Why did I think I could do this?!" He began to breath rapidly into a paper bag his other self had provided for him.
The other Discord spoke in a much calmer tone of voice. "Relax! We can fix this but we'll have to be fast. This job's too big for one draconequus to do alone though. Time to call in the team." He opened the door and several other Discords dressed in hard hats came walking in.
"Okay, chief. So what's the plan?" One of the hard hatted Discords asked.
"Good question, actually," The original Discord pondered as he walked around and his other selves followed him. "What to do, what to do, what to do... Oh! I've got it!" After his other selves had finished bumping into him with a series of loud bonks, he instructed. "It's simple, we know Twilight and we know what she likes. Since she's our guest we need to make her feel at home. So first of all, we need to get rid of all the new stuff."
The second Discord barked out to the others. "You heard him, men! Strike the new stuff, pronto!"
The Discords quickly went to work, removing anything and everything chaotic that had been added just this past day. The glowing, flying, self-folding napkins were sucked up and stored away. The singing ginseng was boxed up when it flew past. And the pinata was chased away when one Discord summoned a bunch of bats to chase it.
"Pinatas hate bats." The Discord had explained.
Meanwhile, another Discord finished stamping the package with the singing ginseng inside it. "Enjoy your all-expense-paid trip around Equestria! Don't forget to write!"
Then the worker Discords sat on one of the sofas, some pulling out lunchboxes. The original Discord approached them all. "Well done, everybody, but there's still more work to do. No time for breaks."
The Discords all groaned and one complained. "We haven't eaten all day! We're not paid to work like this!'
"We're not paid, period," Another Discord remarked. "We don't even work for peanuts. If the boss says to work, we work. What next, chief?"
The original Discord just answered. "Well, we need to start making this place feel more like Twilight and less like me. So we gotta start thinking about what the princess would want," He eyed some floating furniture and remarked. "For example, Twilight just loves comfy chairs but not on the ceiling," With a snap of his talons he brought the chairs down to the ground. "I'm also quite certain she prefers stairs that actually go somewhere," He stretched out a nearby staircase, turning it into a rug. "And although we never actually discussed it, I'm pretty sure the princess likes gravity." With another snap of his fingers, he made everything that had been suspended or floating in the air plant itself rightside up on the ground.
The process repeated itself for several minutes, with Discord walking around the entire house and making everything less and less chaotic. As he did so his paws became red hot and began to steam. By the time it was done he had to blow on them with a fan to cool them off. As he did so, he swore he could feel something changing inside of him. But he dismissed it. "It'll pass with time, I'm sure." He thought.
Meanwhile, his entire house had become almost like any house you might have seen in Ponyville. There wasn't a trace of chaos anywhere to be found.
"Bah! How, boring. Er I mean, normal." The second Discord corrected himself.
Discord nodded to his other self. "Why thank you!"
The second Discord went on to say. "The window treatments are perfectly unexceptional. I daresay you can't get any more normal than this."
Discord just smiled. "Oh but we're not done yet, folks! There's still one thing we need to do."
The second Discord seemed to gulp. "You don't mean..."
Discord nodded. "Mm-hmm."
And the Discords all said at once! "Makeover time!"
Discord proceeded to pose in a variety of outfits. He first tried on a long, flowing, scarlet robe with a dark brown wig.
The other Discords served as judges and the first among them brushed him off. "Hating it. Try again."
Discord next tried to wear sunglasses, a baseball cap, and a golden chain. But the pants he wore with it fell down.
"Wait... nevermind, still hating it." The Discord declared.
A few more outfits flew by with only a response of "Hating it.", but then Discord posed in a lovely red sweater with glasses on his face. There was a pause before the other Discord declared. "Hating... how much I love it!"
After that, Discord got a hair cut. He tried all sorts of styles but none were to his liking. In fact, one came with a swarm of angry bees that chased out of the chair he'd been sitting in.
The last thing Discord needed to prepare himself, was a quick trial run. Another Discord was currently posing as a stuffed plushie version of Twilight. "Okay, let's give these conversation cards a whirl," And he cleared his throat. "'It is very nice to see you today.' 'Have you read any good books lately?' 'Your garden looks positively lovely.'"
The Discords all cheered, everything was ready!
Discord looked around as his other selves vanished. "Hm, strange .For the first time in my life, I don't feel quite strange. In fact, I feel... completely normal," He commented. "Feels like something is off. like there's that tingling sensation inside that won't go away. Oh well, it can't be helped. What matters is that everything is as it should be for the princess," He put on his glasses, just as the clock chimed three times. "And just in time! Twilight will be here any minute. Hope she likes the new me."
The door opened as Discord held it out for his guest. Twilight smiled. "Hello, Discord. I'm so excited to finally see where you live! I never even knew you had a place to call your own."
Discord smiled. "Please do come in," He bowed. "And don't mind the view, I've just done a little bit of cleaning up in here. All necessary and proper to accommodate you, you understand."
"Cleaning up?" Twilight questioned. "Discord, what is going on..." But as she stepped inside the young alicorn was taken aback at how... normal everything seemed to be. She had expected almost anything, except for this. Normal was the last thing she would've ever imagined to see in Discord's house.
"Is something amiss, princess?" Discord asked his guest. "If there is, I can change it."
Twilight shook her head. "Oh uh, no, no, not at all. It's just not what I expected. But it's quite... lovely I suppose."
The spirit nodded. "Knew you'd see it my way. Please have a seat, the tea will be ready shortly."
"A seat, huh? Where is it? Do I have to look for it?" Twilight pondered.
"No, it's right here on the floor. Where it should be." Discord instructed.
"Oh, right. I see how it is." Twilight blushed but still sat in the comfortable armchair provided.
Discord emerged a second later with a plain white tea kettle and some plain white tea cups. In a plain tone of voice he continued to drone on. "I think you'll be quite pleased with the green tea I've selected for us today. I had planned on ginseng but it's currently 'out of stock' shall we say."
"Green tea, huh?" Twilight questioned as she eyed the beverage. "Does it do anything like maybe turn us green? Or is it really jealous of the other teas? Maybe it's green because it's new?"
"No no, none of those things. It just tastes very delicious from what I've been told," Discord explained, pouring some into a cup before he sat down on a nearby sofa. The spirit was silent but for a moment before he started to make small talk. "What particularly nice weather we're having today."
In between idle sips of her tea, Twilight nervously replied. "I suppose that's true, haven't really noticed. Guess I need to get out a bit more often."
The princess expected some kind of teasing remark from Discord about her studying habits and bookworm tendencies, but he said nothing on the matter. He just replied with. "It did rain the other day, however. What a terrible thing that was."
"Uh-huh..." Twilight answered and trailed off. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was off, Discord had never acted this normal before. And to tell the truth it made her very uncomfortable. This had to be some kind of elaborate joke or something. There's no other reason why Discord would be normal, right?
The spirit only continued with his current line of topic. "But the weather today is particularly nice. ...As I previously mentioned. Would you care for some milk toast, my friend?"
Twilight eyed the spirit. "Um, Discord, are you... feeling okay? Are you perhaps sick or something?"
"Sick? Me? I don't think so," Discord answered. "Is something the matter?"
Twilight tried not to gulp. "It's just... what you're wearing. And also what you're saying. And also the way you're saying it. And, um, pretty much everything else. You're not acting like yourself. And I wanna know why."
"What is there to know, Twilight? I'm simply normal today and that's all there is to it," Discord flatly answered. "Now, let me top you off," He moved to grab the tea kettle, only to somehow have it slip from his grasp. "Oops! Butterfingers! How embarrassing." He tried to pick up the fallen kettle but to his surprise his paw went right through it, as if it didn't even exist in the first place.
A fact that did not go unnoticed by the worried Twilight. "Discord, what's going on? This isn't like you."
"I have... no idea. This has never happened before." The spirit replied. As he spoke he seemed to be unaware that he was slowly becoming more and more transparent.
But Twilight did and she became alarmed! "Discord! You're starting to fade away! If this keeps up you'll cease to exist entirely, there won't even be a ghost!"
If Discord was concerned by that troubling fact he didn't appear to acknowledge it with his reply. "Oh, you don't say... Have you read any good books lately? Or maybe tried the scones? They're positively delectable. The secret is in the extra butter."
"Discord, do you even hear yourself right now?! Do you even realize what you're saying?!" Twilight demanded. "This isn't you! Snap out of it, already! Get a hold of yourself! You're starting to make me worry, and we both know what happens when I start to worry."
"Princess, I assure you that everything is just fine. This is just a passing thing. It will stop in time, I'm sure," Discord flatly answered. "This is just me being me. Acting normal for once."
"Except it's not you! It's you acting like everyone else, like someone took the Discord out of you!" Twilight protested. "If your goal was to make me worry you've succeeded, so drop the act and start acting like the Discord I know. The Discord who's always ready with a snappy remark. The Discord who pops up when you least expect him to."
The spirit let out a gulp. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just being normal because that's what you'd want, what everyone except Fluttershy wants. But she's only one friend, and she likes me no matter what I do." As he spoke he became more and more transparent.
Twilight let out a nervous squeak. "The more you do it, the more you fade away! Of course! You're a creature of pure chaos! Being normal is destroying you from within!"
Discord's response was to laugh. But it didn't sound like his usual, cheerful kind of laugh. It sounded like the kind of polite but fake laugh you put on when you wanted to pretend to be nice. "How interesting. You know, that reminds me of something I heard at the market today."
"Stop it, okay?! Are you trying to freak me out?!" Twilight pleaded with the spirit. "Come on, Discord! Think about yourself! This can't be what you want. You need to go back to being your not-normal normal self! Quick, Discord! Uh, do something chaotic before it's too late! Please! If not for my sake than surely for yours."
Despite his transparent state, Discord rose from the couch he'd been sitting on and he nervously answered the request. "Do something chaotic? I'll try..." He moved to snap his talons but nothing happened. A faint squeak was heard but it was so soft you could barely hear it. "Ohhhh, that's not good..." He trailed off in anxiety.
Twilight started to whimper. "Well then, I guess it's up to me. Alright, think, what would be chaotic?" She eyed her tea cup and got an idea. "Well, what if I..." She lifted up a hoof and knocked the tea cup on its side (it was empty). She tried her best to sound worried. "Oh, no! I tipped over that cup! That's pretty chaotic, right? I mean, it was empty this time but we could just pretend it wasn't. There'd be a huge spill for us to clean up."
Discord yawned and faded away some more.
"Not enough, huh? Okay, how about I..." Twilight eyed the sandwich platter, rotated it, and bit into every sandwich. With her mouth still full of crumbs she commented. "Oh, my! Talking with food in my mouth after taking a bite from every sandwich!" Then she swallowed them all and stuck out her tongue. "How wacky is that?! Doing anything for ya, Discord? Come on, it has to count for something."
The only response was a yawn from Discord, still fading away.
The young alicorn quickly realized that her methods weren't working. Discord would need much more chaos than random, isolated acts to return to normal. "Still not working. Hmm. Maybe I need to start thinking like you. Ohhh... What would Discord do?" It took her but a moment to come up with the answer. "Well, I guess he'd probably make another version of himself to bounce ideas off of. Like this," She tipped over the sandwich platter, gazing into her reflection from its shiny surface. "But one wouldn't be enough. He'd need more! Way more!" She began to fly all around the room, scooping up any reflective objects she could find. And then she put them all together on the table, surrounding herself with her reflection.
She proceeded to speak to them as if they were exact copies of herself. "Hello there, Twilights! Got any ideas on how we can Discord up this tea party?" She giggled as she gave her reflections a higher pitched, bubbly voice not unlike what Pinkie Pie would sound like. "Hello, Twilight! Thanks for asking. First of all, you gotta redecorate this place. I mean, this is where Discord lives! And you're telling me there aren't any stairs that lead to nowhere?"
"I'm on it!" Twilight declared and zoomed away. She began to push a whole bunch of objects close together, sorting them so you could climb on top of each one to reach the next. "Well that's a start... but it still needs something," Her eyes fell upon the rug that looked like stairs. She quickly draped it over the objects. "That's more like it!"
The princess spun around and happened to notice a shimmer on Discord. "Great, it's working! Okay, what else?" She looked back at her reflections. "Furniture on the ground? So predictable! So let's put them where they don't belong!" And she did just that, hammering several chairs and even the couch to the ceiling and leaving them suspended like that. Her efforts were rewarded with a much brighter shimmer on Discord.
Twilight then turned her attention to the lounge chair resting all alone in the corner of the room. "And he'd have a chaise lounge that would actually chase you! Because he's funny like that!" She trotted up to it and poked it like it was an actual animal, proceeding to taunt it. "Bet you can't catch me!" She ran away even though she knew it couldn't really chase her.
Discord observed the whole scene with a smile on his face, all the while eyeing his fingertips. At last he was able to snap his paws again and let he out a triumphant laugh! "Yes! I'm back to my old chaotic self!" He proceeded to make the chaise lounge come to life and actually chase after Twilight, said lounge panting like an eager dog.
"You'd have a special kind of tea too, wouldn't you?" Twilight asked the spirit. "Like a ginseng that could really sing!"
The spirit laughed in his throat as he proudly declared! "I would. I-I would! One order of singing ginseng coming right up!" With another snap of his paws he brought back the box containing the ginseng, watching as it floated out of the box covered with stamps and postmarks from all over Equestria.
The ginseng started to sing and float around the room. Twilight just smiled. "And knowing you, you'd serve it on a floating, upside down table! Although we've never talked about it, I'm pretty sure Discord hates gravity!"
"Oh I do! After all, who wants to be tethered to the ground when you can do this?" Discord asked as he snapped his talons, returning things to their previous state of no gravity at all.
Twilight let out a laugh. "Ah, now that's the Discord I know! You had me really worried there for a bit."
"You? Worried about me? Since when?" Discord questioned. "After all the things I've done, after the number of times I've caused trouble for you and your friends, you still worry about me?"
"Look, Discord, I may not always understand or appreciate what you do for fun. But we are still friends," Twilight told him. "I can't expect you to completely change who you are for my sake, any more than you could expect me to change for your sake. No one ever said friendships were perfect, no one ever said friends can't get on each others' nerves. In every case where you've caused trouble, nothing's gone wrong that couldn't be undone. Tree Hugger was spared, the Smooze was tamed, you opened up about your feelings, and everything was fine," Then she added. "Besides, you already went without chaos once before to save me and my friends. That, to me, is the hallmark of a good friend. Why would you ever think that we couldn't get along?"
Discord sighed. "I've seen the way other ponies look at me. The way they always question everything I say and do. You and I, we must not make sense to any of them."
"So who cares if they don't think it make sense. We make sense, and that's good enough for me," Twilight proudly declared! "It's nice that you wanted to change and clean up. It's fine to want to be a better you. But it shouldn't come at the expense of sacrificing what makes you who you are. Chaos is your bread and butter. If you asked me to give up books for a living, do you think I could do it?"
"Well, no, but..." Discord began.
"Exactly!" Twilight declared. "So why should you have to give up chaos just because you think that's what I'd want? What I'm trying to say is that I like you because you're so different from me. You're like Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, only twenty times more wacky and unpredictable. Besides, what's Discord without a little chaos?"
"Well in that case, I won't be needing this anymore!" Discord eagerly replied as he yanked off the sweater. To his surprise he found himself in the stuffed Twilight plushie costume. "Oops! I forgot I still had this on! Why did I forget to take it off?"
Twilight just giggled as Discord made the suit vanish with a poof. "Now then, about that tea party... It's not too late to still have it, right?"
"You know we'll have to catch the sandwiches ourselves," Discord explained. "And there's going to be some other guests, including a sneezing pinata."
Twilight smiled. "For you, Discord, that's more than anything I could hope for!"