Everything was light, pure white light. For a moment, I thought Nightmare Light’s mane was covering our eyes, but then a dark spot swam into focus. I’d never seen her myself, but she walked through the light, a black form standing before me. Her eyes were a pale gray color, boring into mine with an intensity that I’d never seen before, and her mane disappeared in the light of our surroundings.
“Little rainbow child,” she muttered, stopping in front of me. “Where have you taken us?”
“I—I don’t know,” I replied, looking around. Behind me, I spotted something that wasn’t white light. It was fuzzy, but the night sky was there, and a shape that looked like it could be Discord. He was looking at something out of view, and I began to understand as the calming voice of Princess Celestia reverberated around the space.
“She’s trapped in her mind.”
“There must be something we can do!” the shape responded in Discord’s panicked voice.
“There isn’t,” Celestia said. “She and Nightmare Light are at odds. Only one can emerge. However…”
“However?” Discord asked, and the scene shifted slightly beyond what I suddenly realized was my eyes.
“It is possible that neither will emerge. She may remain trapped this way forever.”
“No,” he gasped and I watched the scene switch with a flash. His declaration mirrored my own thoughts as Nightmare Light and I looked at each other. She sighed and waved her hoof, dispelling the scene.
“Alright then. It’s you and me now.”
“Umm…Miss Light…”
“Miss Light?” she intoned, laughing. “Where in Equestria did you learn to be so polite? It’s certainly not from me.”
“Well, what should I call you then?”
This gave her pause and an image surfaced of Princess Luna, flying in front of us. The white space around us flashed red for a moment, then the image switched to an alicorn who looked like Luna, just darker and more menacing.
“I honestly don’t know,” she answered at last when everything faded back to white. “Definitely not ‘Miss Light’ though.”
We sat staring at each other for a time, and I couldn’t come up with anything to say. I could feel her trying to batter at my will, but I just blinked and pushed back. As I thought of each of my friends, their faces flashed by.
“Why are you so loyal to these ponies?” she asked at length. “They’ve never given you any reason to be.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” I muttered, thinking of Discord keeping my secret for as long as he did.
“He ended up betraying you,” she reminded me, and the recent memory of him taking away my cloak played out in front of us.
“Some things are more important than promises.”
“Well, he was right in the end, wasn’t he?” I snapped, and the space took on the gray-green tint of a storm. “They were all right to suspect my existence.”
“Was she right to hurt you when you’d done nothing?”
She pointed her hoof at a patch of darkness, my scream of pain resounding around the space. The patch flashed white and a terrified unicorn appeared before being engulfed in a cluster of crystals sprouting around her.
“She would have killed us if I hadn’t surfaced.”
“I never said I deserved…” I looked away from the memory to see her holding that once-broken foreleg close to her chest. “You’re not wrong. We didn’t deserve that.”
“And yet you defend those who have betrayed you?” she scoffed, raising herself up to her full height, a few inches taller than me. “What next, you start defending Mother?”
The darker version of Luna appeared and I frowned, making it transform into the Luna I knew. “I don’t remember her being my mother…”
“Of course not. She abandoned you.” She waved the image away. “Such treatment after seven centuries of loyal service. It is indefensible.”
“She forgot us,” I murmured, unsure of whether I was defending or accusing.
“Yes.”
“Seven centuries?”
“It felt like an eternity.”
“But you remember it.”
“I do.” She watched me for a moment before turning her head. An image swirled into focus. It was darker than I’d ever seen the night sky and the landscape was silvery. The darker Luna loomed above us.
“Welcome, my child.”
“She was not affectionate or nurturing. We weren’t born. I was created, fully formed, to be a companion and successor to Mother.”
“Oh,” I breathed, watching the memory. The mare was cold, but she spoke at great length to Nightmare Light. She told stories in a bitter tone about Princess Celestia and the way she had once meekly stood aside. “Was she ever truly a mother to you?”
The memory faded as Nightmare Light stared at me. “I suppose not,” she muttered at last, looking defeated. “She didn’t want someone she had to take care of.”
“I think she’d like the chance to be our mother,” I realized, remembering the conversation I’d had with Luna weeks ago.
“Midnight Fractal.”
“What is a fractal, anyway?” Nightmare Light wondered, and the space exploded into color as I thought of the images I’d seen of the concept in my books. She watched the pattern spread and change around us, and I saw tears in her eyes. “She wished this…for me?”
“For us.”
She shook her head. “For you. Everypony wishes for you to emerge.”
“But—”
“That draconequus,” she interrupted, “Discord…he loves you.”
“What?” I gasped. “No, he just…”
“Why do you deny it?” She waved a hoof and one of my memories started playing out.
It was our first time visiting the bunker, so I didn’t expect the momentary blindness of descending into the darkness underground. My legs seized up for the split second it took me to light my horn. Discord noticed my hesitation and bundled himself onto my back, chuckling.
“Lunar Rainbow, a grown mare, afraid of the dark?” he teased, sticking out his tongue in my face.
“So what if I prefer to be able to see?” I snapped, sparks flying off my horn. Something in me expression seemed to trigger a change in his.
“Now, wait a minute,” he murmured, pulling gently on one of the curls in my mane. “Lunar, whatever happened in your past, you’re safe here.”
“You can’t be sure of that,” I hissed, bucking him off my back and stepping forward.
“But I can be.”
His words stopped me in my tracks again.
“I’m certain of it. Because I’ll keep you safe. Stick with me and I swear I will.”
“And promises actually matter to you?”
“Of course…”
“But he changed his mind about that,” I muttered as the scene shifted to another memory, this time of him shaped like a normal pony. He stood between me and Dusty Geode, growling while I tried to get him to behave. The memory shifted again.
“You’re not uncomfortable, are you?”
And again.
“You think I’d let them attack you?”
“Because, you insufferable nincompoop, I care about you!”
And again, to him curled around me while I was reading my favorite book.
And again, to him bandaging my burned leg, blaming himself for the injury.
And again.
And again…
Watching all these memories play out in this mindscape, Nightmare Light’s assertion seemed undeniable. All the signs had always been there, though I’d refused to see them.
“Discord loves you,” she repeated, sitting by my side. “And you…love him…don’t you?”
“I couldn’t possibly—” I protested, looking up to find her staring longingly at the memory currently playing out.
“You can’t lie here. When he betrayed you to the princesses, that was the worst you’ve ever felt. That’s what allowed you to hear my voice.”
“You love him, too.”
“But he only loves you, little rainbow child. Everypony loves you. My own mother loves you more than she ever loved me.
“But you are me. You’re scared and alone and you just want to be able to trust somepony.”
“I’m just the shadow of your past. Mother wants me to disappear.”
“But I don’t,” I realized. “If you vanish, part of me will, too.”
“Only the part that is dark.”
“No, you’ll also take the part that is strong, and the part that remembers where we came from.”
“You really believe that, don’t you?” she breathed, looking down at me in wonder. “You really want me…here?”
“Yeah. I want for…us…to become…me, I guess.”
Nightmare Light smiled, tears in her eyes, as she reached out a hoof. “Then I guess that’s alright.”
I reached out and took her hoof. The space around us took on that fractal again as the darkness seeped out of her form, leaving a white glow in her shape. An instant later, her shape wavered and started threading around my hoof, seeping into my skin.
All at once, seven centuries of life played out in the mindscape, all her memories fitting seamlessly in around mine. Not her memories.
My memories.
My life…
The mindscape faded and I opened my eyes to see a cacophony of color. A school of fish swam past a ceiling fan and a piano floated nearby. I turned my head and saw Discord twisting restlessly in on himself in an indescribable shape. Everypony else sat in a corner of the room, but none of them seemed to want to tell him to behave.
“Discord,” I croaked, rolling up to my hooves. His reaction was instantaneous; he dove for me, scooping me into his arms and burying his face in my mane. All the uncertainty stored in my heart seeped away when I felt his breath ruffle in my coat.
“Please tell me you’re alright,” he whispered, curling around me.
“I am,” I sighed, wrapping my front legs around his back. “I’m whole. I’m in control.”
“Nightmare Light…?”
“It’s just me.”
“I was terrified. I couldn’t… Lunar, I…”
“Discord, I love you, too,” I murmured. He sighed into my mane and relaxed.
“You do?”
“Yeah.”