I Barely Know Me

by Trinity Copper-Fox


Nine: Unmare

Everything turned to a blur through my tears and I shot up to my hooves, running out the door. Discord called after me, following close on my tail. I ran as fast as I could without my injured leg, but I realized quickly that it wouldn’t be fast enough.
A pair of guard ponies rounding a corner brought me up short. Almost instantaneously, I was surrounded.
Fly, Lunar Rainbow.
A cold voice was ringing inside my head. It was like mine, but not.
Fly. I can’t get out. You must fly.
Who was this voice?
I mentally shook the voice from my mind, surging into the air. A claw attempted to close around my back hoof, but I managed to swerve out of Discord’s grip, and I knew I had to get out of the area. As I bolted in the direction I was facing, though, a bright rainbow blur passed me to block my path.
“Leave me alone!” I screamed, and my magick seemed to manifest of its own accord. One of Rainbow Dash’s wings sprouted crystals and she started to plummet. Twilight appeared to catch her, and I streaked away, shouting behind me, “I’m sorry!”
For a few miles, the guards gave chase, but the strange voice sounded in my mind, directing me to turn and fly through the Everfree Forest. As I zigzagged around trees, the guards couldn’t follow and I soon lost them.
After that, I just flew. I didn’t go to my tower—Discord would lead them there first. I didn’t know where I was flying to. All I knew was I had to get away. By the time I ran out of breath and had to land, I was somewhere new again for the first time in years. The landscape was endless amounts of sand, and I had a flash of another landscape, dark with silver ridges and outcroppings.
Those aren’t yours, the voice spat, and the wave of vitriol swept the memory away.
“Who are you?” I panted, my legs shaking. “Get out of my head.”
Your head? sneered the voice, and the laughter resounding around the inside of my mind was distinctly feminine. Don’t be ridiculous. Everything is mine, little rainbow child.
“No, it’s not. I don’t know who you are, but you’re in my head. That means you can’t do anything.”
The laughter rang out again, starting to tickle at the back of my throat, and dread consumed me. Oh, you pathetic child, she taunted. You don’t know anything! You don’t know who you are.
“I’m Lunar Rainbow.”
A name you gave yourself. Do you want to know your past?
What breath I had whooshed out of my lungs. “You know who I am? Do you know my family?”
You have no family.”
I covered my mouth when her voice came out of my mouth, but she continued to speak.
You shouldn’t exist. This is my body. My mind. My life! Give it back!”
No, stop! I tried to scream, but my voice was trapped.
“The sun is setting, little rainbow child. You’re not strong enough to hold me in.”
She was beginning to overtake my body now, turning my face to the darkening sky. My rainbow mane fell across one of my eyes.
Let me out! Tears were leaking out of my eyes and she swiped them away. As I watched from behind my eyes, the colors in my mane swirled together into glowing white. She lifted a hoof as it turned pitch black, my legs lengthening slightly. Nightmare Light, I realized, as her laughter bubbled up my throat, a cruel cackle.
“That’s right, little rainbow child.”
With that, she spread my wings and took to the sky, bursting through the clouds to the starry sky above within moments.


We arrived in Ponyville at moonrise. Nightmare Light perched atop a cloud, tilting my ears so we could hear. The first voice that reached us was Celestia.
“How long have you known about this?” she was asking.
“From the start,” Discord’s voice replied. He seemed to hesitate before continuing. “There’s something else.”
“And what might that be?” Celestia sighed.
“Lunar Rainbow isn’t aware of it,” he began. “I figured it out weeks ago, but she doesn’t know. She and…Nightmare Light…are the same pony.”
The shocked declarations loosed by the princesses registered in my ears, but neither I nor Nightmare Light truly heard them.
“He knew,” I gasped.
“He figured it out,” she rasped.
“He protected us.”
“He protected you,” she hissed, preventing me from speaking again. “He’d gladly kill me if it would save you.”
I’m not so sure, I tried to say. He’s not that predictable.
“True,” she muttered. “But he sliced us up before he figured it out, didn’t he?”
I couldn’t argue with that.
“Now, where are the others?” she pondered, pushing a bit of the cloud aside so we could see the ground below. I tried to take control of my limbs and at least slow her movements, but to no avail.
Do you suppose this is what it’s like to be imprisoned in stone? I asked in an attempt to distract her.
“I wouldn’t know.” Her voice dripped menace and I was sure I’d be shaking in fear if I were in control of our body. As I thought that, she caught sight of the rest of the ponies I suddenly realized were…
My friends.
“Some friends,” she laughed, charging her Magick.
No! I cried, cutting off her connection to my horn for a brief moment. The instant I realized I’d done it, though, my control faltered and she blasted them.
“You almost ruined everything,” she hissed as the princesses went tumbling. “Be quiet!”
Stop!
Nightmare Light spread my wings and glided down toward the ground as Discord grabbed for Fluttershy. I mustered up my willpower and managed to flap one of my wings, making us falter and plummet to the ground. Our injured leg hit the ground first and we gasped in pain, both of us at once.
“Looks like I have to work fast,” she growled, folding my wings. When she stood, the princesses were clambering to their hooves. She took a step back and blasted Celestia first, then turned her attention to Cadance.
“Not her!” I shouted, interrupting her stream of Magick again. “She’s pregnant!”
My control faltered, but Shining Armor got in front of her with a shield spell before Nightmare Light’s spell could hit.
“You’re pregnant?!” he rasped, the shield starting to crumble under the sustained blast.
“Congratulations,” Discord muttered, appearing next to them. “But I would suggest you get out of here.” A moment later, all three of them were gone and Nightmare Light cut off her blast.
Twilight and Luna charged at us and both of us reacted reflexively. I didn’t know who shot the next blasts, but in a flash, they were both immobilized, covered in crystals. Next came Pinkie Pie and Applejack, but one of us leaped into the air, surging up with our wings.
“Wait!” Discord shouted, bringing Rainbow Dash to a halt as she started after us. “Lunar Rainbow is awake in there!”
“Yeah, but Nightmare Light is also awake in there,” Rainbow Dash snapped.
“That’s right!” Nightmare Light taunted, diving toward her.
“No, stop!” I shouted, flapping my wings to ruin her trajectory.
“Oh, my!” Rarity cried. “Her face!”
“What about my face?!” Nightmare Light roared, swiping at her with one of my hooves. Discord appeared in front of us, pushing Rarity back. Nightmare Light backed away, charging her Magick up again.
“No!” I screamed—and I felt myself regain control of my body, so I used the opportunity to my advantage. “Discord! Discord, I can’t hold her back! You have to—”
Be quiet! she attempted.
KILL ME!
“What?” he gasped, freezing up. “No. No! There has to be another way!”
“If you won’t, then—then I will!”
“No, you won’t!” she growled, taking over again. Discord remained frozen in place, his expression horrified, and Nightmare Light charged at him, aiming a beam of Magick for his chest.
I screamed into our mind, shattering everything around us.
Don't you touch him!