“Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Doug, and Spike all walk into Sugarcube Corner.”
“Ouch!”
“Pinkie Pie,” Doug groans, “That joke wasn’t funny the first time you told it either.”
“Aww, come on,” Pinkie Pie huffs, shaking her head, “You just don’t know comedy. And my jokes are way funnier than Trixie’s, anyway.”
“I don’t know,” Doug chuckles, glancing at Twilight Sparkle. The purple unicorn still has a mass of papers swirling around her, struggling through how Trixie’s trick worked. And getting nowhere. “I thought the four left hooves joke was pretty good.”
“Okay, I’ll grant you that,” Pinkie Pie says, grabbing the box full of bits and table empty of baked goods and dragging it inside. “But that was, like, the only original joke she told! Most of her jokes sounded rehearsed.”
“That’s because it’s a routine.” Doug grabs one of the gummy muffins, many of the baked tarts miraculously still remaining. “She probably performs a variation on that show in every town she comes to. Most likely, her shows later today are probably going to be a whole new host of jokes and acts. Maybe she’ll try out some new material on some of those shows, when she has a better grip on the audience.”
“She did stop puffing herself up as much once she saw the grumbling,” Applejack says. She sighs at the coming admission, “And, Ah’ll admit, she had some… reasonable skills with a rope. For a unicorn.” Applejack twists her tail up and around, lifting her Stetson and grabbing the rope from underneath, “Still don’t beat mah roe-de-oh skills, but she gets credit for trying.”
“And thank you for not trying to show her up,” Doug says with an eye roll, “even if I did have to hold you down.”
“She just assumed Ah had a rope on me! Ah mean, Ah did, and maybe underneath my hat ain’t the most secure of locations, but still.” Applejack pouts, rubbing her mane just underneath her Stetson, “At least buy me dinner first.”
“Please, your rope was the least of the thunder she stole.” Rainbow Dash grabs a muffin from Doug, “I mean, not many unicorns can pull off small-scale weather manipulation. But moving clouds around is a pegasus thing!” She quiets down a little bit, “The lightning bolt was a cool addition. Not that I’ve ever done that.”
Rarity looks over at Pinkie Pie, noticing the white rose around the earth pony’s ear that used to be red. She asks, “Pinkie Pie, did you take my flower?” The pink earth pony reaches up and grabs the white rose from her ear, frowning at what used to be a red that nearly matched her coat. The white rose around Rarity’s ears levitates up, the unicorn releasing an understanding, “Ahh.” She replaces her rose, “She must have used Loyalty to change the color. Very impressive, for a unicorn whose talents appear to be Generosity.” Rarity looks to the other roses, her eyes flashing white. “She didn’t change the other roses? Hmm, maybe a Friendship specialty?”
“Definitely a Friendship specialist,” Twilight Sparkle says as she drops her papers on one of the booths, her forelegs pressed into her skull as she stares. “All of the pyrotechnics were premade, and she merely pulled the trigger to set them off. She levitated the feather with ease, same with the rope. Conjuring a cloud is Friendship, but the lightning bolt is Generosity. However, by conjuring a cloud that is already primed, you can get by with modest effort. Teleportation of the flowers is Friendship, but the recolor is Loyalty. Impressive that the spell lasted for thirty minutes, if it isn’t her specialty.”
“Pretty sure she bought the other flowers colored to match our coats; I saw her run out to a couple of the vendors just before the show started.” Doug glances over at Pinkie Pie as she works the store by herself, “Maybe she didn’t realize Pinkie Pie was with us until just before the act started, resulting in the hasty recolor. Still, quite the variety of talents.”
“I thought her story of the Ursa Major was too violent,” Fluttershy says, shaking her head. “That poor bear!”
“Eh, that was a load of… made up,” Rainbow Dash says, looking at a group of foals entering the store. “I mean, one pony can distract an Ursa Minor, maybe. But to out-fight a Major? By yourself? Please. She’s missing a set of wings to do that.” Rainbow Dash flexes her own wings, strutting around like she could defeat an Ursa Major.
“Yeah, she did sound a bit orange to me,” Applejack says, the others looking at her quizzically. “Ah mean, like she knew what she was saying ain’t the whole truth, but it had one or two kernels in there.”
“Just like any good storyteller,” Doug says, rubbing into Applejack’s mane. “She embellishes some parts to make a better story.”
“But it weren’t just some parts. But, anyway, the foals were entertained, at least. So Ah guess it’s okay. Ain’t like any of them are going to use that as practical Ursa fighting techniques.” Applejack nuzzles Doug before she gets up. “Anyhow, Ah gotta get back to the farm. Rainbow, you coming with?”
Rainbow Dash snorts, “After your ‘just a couple trees’ turned out to be a quarter acre? Sorry, Miss Orange, but I've got a few of my own jobs to take care of.” Rainbow Dash stretches her wings, “And I need to get my wings back in top shape. At least Doug likes a mare with nice, toned legs.” She backs up, pushing her rump into Doug.
“Yes, Rainbow, your legs are great,” Doug says, giving each side a squeeze. He slaps her on the flank, “Now, go on, you’re making Fluttershy jealous.”
“Oh, um…” Fluttershy says, trying to hide her envious glare. “I just, um.”
Doug sighs as he grabs onto the yellow pegasus, pulling her rump next to him. “Better?”
“Much!” Fluttershy says, grinning back at Doug. She turns back to Applejack and Rainbow Dash, waving and saying, “Congratulations, you two, on making it through Applebuck Season in one piece. See you later!”
“Later, ‘Shy!” Rainbow Dash says as she flies out, Applejack tilting her Stetson and walking out of Sugarcube Corner.
Rarity tears her eyes away from Pinkie Pie’s white rose, “Hmm, maybe I should ask Trixie about her color magic. It would be very useful for finding the best color combinations, without having to craft a second version. As an Honesty specialist myself I’ve had to work hard on training my Friendship, to get my telekinesis up the point where I am now. I’ve never attempted Loyalty, except when using a few of those essence gemstones. And that barely even qualifies!”
“Maybe I can help!” Twilight Sparkle grins, shooting a beam of magic and turning Pinkie Pie’s flower pink. “See?”
“That’s very impressive, Twilight!” Rarity smiles, “We should definitely swap spells; maybe you can make use of my gem finding spell? A multi-discipline master like you should have no trouble with it!” She glances up at the sky, a slight frown, “Maybe another time, as I should be heading back to the Boutique. I'll probably have a run on purple hats and capes." She frowns, "The filly sized novelty ones. Alas, the curse of a bottom line. Have a good day!”
“Mind if I come with?” Spike says, rubbing his stomach. “See if you have any ice cream left?”
“You told me that we were out!” Rarity says, frowning as she leaves the store. “Now who’s a little orange?”
“Aww, come on!” Spike says, chasing after her. “I said you might be out!”
Fluttershy pulls her flanks away from Doug’s kneading hands, a light kiss for her stallion before she too exits the store. Doug moves over to Twilight Sparkle’s booth as Pinkie Pie heads to the kitchen to start a whole new set of pastries baking. He looks at the notes, “So, still working on that, huh?”
“Obviously,” drawls a small brown unicorn doll wearing black robes, popping out from between the cushions of the booth.
“Aah!” screams Twilight, pushing away from the doll as it shakes its black mane.
“Oh, there you are!” exclaims Pinkie Pie, appearing from the next booth over. She grabs the doll and tosses the silently screaming toy into her mane. “I wondered where I put that!” Pinkie Pie pronks back to the kitchen, a harsh interrogation taking place behind closed doors.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Doug says to the hyperventilating unicorn. “Unless…”
“Come to life spell!” Twilight Sparkle shouts, her horn flaring and a stack of blank pages teleporting in front of her. “How did I not see it? All she has to do is animate your severed limbs using a come to life spell! Possibly imbued into the magical blade that she created. Ooh, but the creation of the blade was almost pure Friendship. There wasn’t enough Loyalty present for the complex motions your feet went through!” Twilight Sparkle begins tearing at her mane again, now looking even more frazzled.
Doug says, “And it doesn’t explain how I retained tactile sense of the foot, or why the spell reversed the connection between myself and my feet.”
“Well, the second part could be a botched version of the spell. Or, it could be intentionally botched for comedic effect.” Twilight Sparkle sighs resignedly, shaking her head, “I should have known. There is only one possible solution remaining.”
“Oh?”
Twilight Sparkle nods resolutely, “Princess Celestia took the form of a traveling magician, performed this show, knowing that I would be there. She introduced this trick, knowing I would be unable to concentrate on anything else until I unraveled the mystery underneath. Having eliminated every other possibility, I am forced to confront the only one remaining.” Twilight Sparkle grits her teeth, “I shall be sure to include this in my next Friendship Report to the Princess, informing her of my perception of her deception.”
Doug clamps down on his tongue to keep from blurting out the correct answer. He finally asks, trying to keep his sarcastic bite from breaking through, “Has that ever been the right answer to a question?”
“Once. And Princess Celestia said it was to keep me on the tips of my hooves.” Twilight Sparkle glares, “I should have known! And she said she forgave me for turning her cakes to potted plants all those years ago!” Twilight Sparkle shakes her hooves at the ceiling, “I just got my cutie mark! I was turning everything into potted plants! And it was totally Shiny’s fault, anyway!”
The bell above the door jingles, Twilight Sparkle and Doug looking over to see Trixie, devoid of hat and cape, enter the building. Trixie smirks at the pile of papers still next to Twilight, the purple unicorn glancing back at them and returning a sheepish look. The blue unicorn gloats, “I see you’re still working through how The Great and Powerful Trixie managed to pull off that particular trick?”
“Give it up, Princess!” Twilight Sparkle exclaims, pointing a hoof at Trixie. “I know your secrets!”
Trixie turns to Doug with a dumbfounded look, the human covering his face with both hands. “Is she okay?”
“That depends on what your definition of ‘is’ is,” Doug says, removing his hands and smiling. “Done greeting your adoring fans?”
“Most of them,” Trixie replies, a smile and wink at Doug. Trixie turns back to Twilight Sparkle and her accusing glare. “The Great and Powerful Trixie is not Princess Celestia.”
“Luna?” Twilight Sparkle guesses, snorting at the shake of the head. “Cadance?”
“Still no.” Trixie sighs, shooing off Twilight Sparkle with a hoof. “Wouldn’t you like to figure this out somewhere else?”
“No thanks, I’m good,” Twilight Sparkle says, going back to her notes. She turns back to Trixie, “You aren’t lying, are you?”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie wouldn’t say whether or not she is, as watching you squirm is more entertaining.” Trixie turns to Doug, “So, did you enjoy the performance?”
“I thought it was amazing, truly lived up to your name,” Doug says, smiling and nodding. He claps three times, “Bravo.”
Trixie smiles at Doug seductively, stepping a little closer, “The Great and Powerful Trixie made considerably more this last performance than she normally does, and wishes to repay a bit of that to such a spectacular assistant.” She winks at him, “How would you like a private magic show?”
Twilight Sparkle pipes up, “I’d like a private magic show!”