Dearest Starlight,
As I'm certain thou hast done a wonderful job of stirring thyself into a fine white froth of fear, bewilderment, and self-loathing, I must beg thee to breathe. I mean this with all seriousness. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I am the steward of all dreams, good and bad. I try to give those ponies I'm closest to the privacy they deserve by providing relief from afar, as it is perfectly within my power to smooth troubled slumbers with but a wave of my hoof, but on more than one occasion I felt compelled to intervene more directly on thy behalf due to the severity of thy nightmares.
Breathe! Deep.
Firstly, thou must forgive thyself for fleeing as thou did. Thou were caught completely unawares by the advances of thou dear friend. This friendship was of such importance in thy life that, without it, thou felt lost to misguided quests for power. In regaining this friendship, thou hast grown much. To have this newfound stability changed can feel threatening. I do not fault thee for this reaction one bit. But it is not a reaction that can be left on its own.
Secondly, I would be remiss if I didn't also ask for thee to consider Sunburst's feelings. Truthfully, he could have been more straightforward about his intentions, but no doubt he feared just such a reaction as the one thou had should he suddenly out with it. My guess is that the poor fellow hoped to ease thee into seriously considering his courtship with a series of non-threatening rendez-vous galants. Even if ye cannot consider such a relationship with him, at the least, as his friend, thou can grant him the dignity of an honest response to his advances. Tis all that thou owes him. How he receives thy final response is not for thee to take responsibility for as long as thou art clear and compassionate in thy words. Staving off a real response for fear of hurting him does neither of thee any favors.
Which leads to my third point. Starlight, thou must understand that love is a force all its own, and no pony can control where it appears any more than they can will the direction of the winds. Sunburst hardly intended for his feelings, and he may have harbored them for some time upon reuniting with thee before finally drumming up the courage to act on them. Instead of cursing thy circumstances, why not see them from another perspective? Is it not wondrous that thy foalhood friend, having been apart from thee for years--tumultuous years I might add--not only found thee worthy of friendship again but desirable enough for more?
Before thou hastens to turn Sunburst down, ask thyself why. Dost thou truly find him as an unsuitable beau? Or does the problem truly lie within thyself? If the problems are truly within thyself, are these of such magnitude that thou cannot overcome them for a chance at something greater? Is it a matter of feeling safe? Or is it that such prospects fail to ignite thee to any sort of enthusiasm?
Whilst considering these things, please do remember to breathe.
All The Best,
Princess Luna
P.S.
Try lavender scents and quiet meditation before bed. It should help with thy nightmares.