"And at long last..."
Flash Sentry stood beside the crackling fireplace. He smiled warmly, wearing an ugly red-and-green sweater while cradling a mug of nutmeg in his handsome grasp.
"...I just want to say how truly happy I am to have my whole family here." He grinned, his eyes reflecting the snow drifting past the windows beyond. "And I do mean my whole entire family."
"D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Over four dozen members of the Sentry Clan—mothers, fathers, teenagers, children, and geriatrics—clapped and smiled and snuggled each other from where they formed an audience across the festively decorated room. Christmas lights from the tree christened the moment with spectral cheer as they waited for the young man to deliver the rest of his speech.
"We have all gathered for this wonderful, wholesome occasion," Flash said. He smiled across the room, gesturing. "Uncle Lester... so glad you could make it..."
A hunched-over man with a thick gray beard smiled. He raised his one hand while the opposite sleeve of his military jacket dangled empty, patched over with the "P.O.W." logo.
"Grandpa Frances and Great Aunt Mable..." Flash nodded to the other part of the room. "...it's an honor to be in your presence once again."
Two flesh-wrinkled centenarians nodded clumsily from where they huddled next to a mess of dialysis machine wires.
"Cousin Lehi...!" Flash waved in another direction, smiling bright. "Back from his two year mission in Paraguay!" He gave a thumb's up while the whole room clapped. "Doing God's work there, bud!"
A buzzed-blonde twenty-one-year-old in a buttoned-up shirt and tie nodded, smiling gratefully.
"And..." Flash placed his nutmet onto the mantlepiece. "...most wonderful of all..." He clasped his hands together as his eyes turned round and moist. "...the greatest blessing this season could ever possibly give us..." Sniffling, he nodded at the center of the room. "A true Christmas miracle... the first in years..." He pointed. "...my own lil' brother, First Base. Let's give him a hand, will ya?"
The room filled with claps and cheer.
Flash Sentry's parents knelt by a tiny, frail thing seated in a wheelchair, covered in a thick blanket. A green elf hat covered his balding head, and the tiny pre-adolescent wheezed into an oxygen mask. Nevertheless, First Base found the strength to sit up straight and give his older brother a thumb's up.
Flash fought tears, smiling warmly from ear to ear. "I love you bro," he barely whispered, then held a hand over his heart. "So glad you could make it here with us this year." He swallowed a lump down his throat, then broke back into a boisterous, enthusiastic tone. "Who else knows that Santa's gonna bring in better bone marrow transparents this coming spring?!?"
The room filled with thunderous, ecstatic applause.
"Firsty..." Flash walked over to the wheelchair'd sibling. "My man..." He knelt alongside his parents, leaning in to smirk at the child's narrow face. "...I know it's been tough not being able to attend school with your buddies these past... s-several months." He swung a hand towards the far end of the room. "But your big bro's got that all patched up! Let's hear it for the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" He led the next wave of clapping. "And—boy howdy—do they have an amazing Christmas gift for you!"
Three little house guests skipped up to the front of the room, dressed in home-made elf costumes. They all stood squarely beneath a giant widescreen television.
"Heya, Firsty!" Sweetie Belle was the first to speak out.
"We sure plum missed ya!" Apple Bloom continued.
"And to help you catch up with the gang who all miss you as well..." Scootaloo pumped a fist, winking devilishly. "...we put together this little video showcasing all the stuff we did this year!"
"We made sure everyone took the time to say 'hello' to you as well!" Sweetie Belle said.
"Cuz yer the light of our life and we're all burstin' at the seams to see ya get better!" Apple Bloom said.
"And you can thank my older sister Rarity for providing us with her own USB Stick so we can bring the video here to you and your gracious family!" Sweetie Belle meowed, clutching her little hands together. "It was a huuuuuuuge file! And she's just so generous—"
"Pssst! Sweetie Belle!" Scootaloo frowned. "It was my turn to speak!"
"But I want them to know how much Rarity worked to help us wish Firsty a happy new year's—"
"Will y'all quit fussin'?" Apple Bloom squeaked. "We're ruinin' the Sentry Family hospitality!" She cleared her throat and faced the gathered crowd. "Uhh... so—without further skedaddle—here're yer friends at a year's glance, First Base!"
"Merry Christmas!" Sweetie Belle sang. "Hit the button, Scoots."
"But is it set to the right video?"
"What are you talking about? It's Rarity's USB stick! There should only be one video!"
"But—"
"Just click it already! Firsty's waiting!"
"Well alright..." Scootaloo pointed the remote up at the t.v. "Here we go—"
Shivering, struggling to stay upright, First Base leaned forward in his seat-cushion...
Plink!
"WE WERE MEANNNNT TO BEEEE AS ONNNNNNEEE!!!"
A nearly-naked eight-teen year old thrust his denim'd derrierre at the camera, his girlishly smooth thighs slick with sweat and goosebumps.
"CUZZZ—"
He bird-stepped towards the camera, swinging a limp wrist out one second and subtly stroking a shirt-covered nipple the next.
"BABYYYYY WHENNNNN I HEARRRRDDDD YOUUUU—"
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle instantly went pale.
The smiles of countless adults faded.
Grandparents coughed and hacked, nearly falling out of their La-Z-Boys.
A veteran grasped his heart, wheezing.
Lehi fainted.
"FORRRRR THE FIRRRRRST TIIIIME I KNEWWWWWW..."
Flash's pupils shrank... as did his whole body.
His jaw slumped lower and lower to the floor, drooling in utter horror.
He flew a petrified look over his shoulder.
A mother and father glared with murder in their faces.
Other relatives covered their children's eyes, slack-jawed.
Apple Bloom slowly... quietly inched her way towards the front door, wincing the entire time.
And First Base...
First Base squinted, his breath mask fogging and re-fogging as he watched...
"WE..."
Pelvic thrust.
"...WERE..."
Pelvic thrust.
"...MEANT..."
Gyration.
"...TO BEEEEE—"
Piroutte into an ass-slap and twirk.
"—AS ONNNNNNNNE!"
First Base's voice caught in the back of his invalid throat.
At last, he wheezed aloud: "Holy shit..."
His breath mask fell free, revealing a warm and healthy smile as the boy's sea blue eyes lit up for the first time since arriving there.
"...this is fucking awesome!"