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// Chapter 3: I have a confession to make. 
// Story: T, the Tiniest Troll 
// by Piquo Pie 
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Dear Princes Celestia,

It's always nice to hear from you. This letter is a bit longer than my normal friendship reports, as it's more of a summary about T and troll culture/behavior and as such I will skip over the more personal events that T and my friends my friends, including T, have been subjected to in recent days.

Teaching T has become a bit of a now infamous headache. Rarity has been generous in treating me to a spa trip complete with head massage, despite the fact that the spa ponies insist on giving me free messages anyway.

It is a shame that Rarity does not seem to get along with T. He refuses to accept anything from her without giving something in return. His logic is that if he gives something in return then it won't be a trick. Rarity finds his behavior rude and somewhat offensive. She puts on a friendly face, but I think there are just some creatures that are not meant to be friends. They both seem to understand this and avoid each other, for the most part, and do act respectfully... in their own way. I'll admit it took me a long time to realize this, and Pinkie is still wrapping her head around the concept. It took a very awkward party but I think she has realized that just because two ponies acquaintances share a common friend, this does not mean that they get along well and mutual friends should be respect that dynamic

At least T and Rarity behave around each other; there is no animosity so I won't try to fix something that's not broken. At least I learned my lesson with that embarrassing doll incident.

Everyone else is getting along with T quite well. Fluttershy takes over for a few hours every week helping T integrate into pony culture. She was also able to learn a bit about some Everfree's creatures in the process. Rainbow Dash and AJ have been having a great time hitting T as hard as they can when they meet. This seems to make T very happy. I made sure that he knows not to hurt them in return and he seems to realize that he could do so easily.  

AJ has been working T hard, but he does not really want more than what he needs to eat that day. This has lead to a conundrum; AJ wants to give him a fair wage. T feels a day’s food is a fair wage. This has lead to several shouting matches but poor T is quite outmatched. This has lead to Rainbow Dash teasing AJ for being harder than a rock. I don't really get the joke but everypony else seems to enjoy it, so I laugh along.

AJ and T started out with him doing a few odd jobs on occasion. But then Big Macintosh, AJ's brother, went and hurt himself again and T has been filling in. T only really needs food. Apparently 'village' of trolls is a clearing in the forest with a opening in the trees to see the stars and tell 'historic' stories. Some "lucky" trolls get caves. It really is just a gathering point. Then again trolls don't really need protection from the elements. T finds hay in AJ's barn extremely comfortable and would probably break any actual bed.

I have made plans with T to have him tell me some historical stories which I will transcribe. Apparently trolls do not have any written language, so T has been learning very slowly. When he said he had been writing all day in his letter he meant all day. He started around noon after he had lunch with Spike and ended around nine thirty. Apparently trolls eat gems as well, but their taste buds are very different from dragons and let him taste magic. In fact T seems to think of magic in terms of flavor.

The implications of which, trolls eating magic, might explain why unicorns cannot protect town by casting directly at the trolls. This worries me because that means trolls in general find magic tasty. I know you understand the implications of this being similar to a shark or lion developing a taste for ponies. Further research, to be presented in future letters, may provide insight into how to better create magical barrier spells or possible ways to change the taste of magic for trolls.

Darn. I promised myself I wouldn't let this letter runaway with me again, sorry.

As I was saying, I gave T an enchanted pen to write with. It keeps his writing both legible and correct, for the most part. I have no idea how he keeps hyphenating his words. The pen should stop that, and sometimes it doesn't happen. I wonder if my enchantments have trouble working properly with T because sometimes other mistakes are present as well. Anyway without the pen it would have been illegible. I have also been working on his Canternese. That, combined with him speaking while he writes, has caused some issues, as you may have noted.

Rainbow has been having 'fun' showing T 'around.'  She even took him to a Wonderbolt's show. It got them a lot of 'attention' to say the least.

I hope she remembered to send you the letter about public misunderstandings in relation to bucking a full grown troll while in public. It caused a number of security guards to rush to her aid, not that aid was needed.

Also, please note that trolls do not like to be levitated, but hitting them repeatedly can calm them down. This should be done out of view of the public as it causes even more misunderstandings.

All 7 of us, and Spike, agreed we should forgo the public outings until we create a procedure manual, of sorts, to help plan for potential issues.

As for my other friends; Pinkie has had a great time baking for T. He eats anything which means Pinkie is using him to test different recipes that even she thought needed work before she gave them to somepony. Rainbow spiced cupcakes being the most noteworthy.

Don't worry, I'll make sure to send you some like normal.

Additionally, when T consuming mass quantities of sugar he seems to excrete the excess in the form of a rock candy layer. Besides making T Pinkie's best baking buddy, this seems to have two added effects.

1) T can actually absorb the disaccharides at a later date, thus allowing him to storE energy despite a lack of fat.

2) It attracts other animals to T when he sits still. This is how Fluttershy's critters learned to like the big rock. Such a trait would allow him to capture animals, thus allowing him to balance out his diet, in the wild.

It also makes him incredibly dirty and sticky. Another reason why Rarity takes offense, especially since even she can't manage to get it off other than licking, which is a very slow process even for Pinkie. I tried to get a sample for study but Pinkie had a different understanding for the word sample.

Fluttershy gets along with T very well, which is kind of a surprise to me. When T first met her, he realized she was shy and turned away from her and sat down. This basically made him look like a rock, which only mildly intimidated Fluttershy. After a number of her insect friends came and began to feed off of T's sugar coating, Fluttershy was finally able to approach and meet him. He has helped her out with a new home for a few of her larger animals. The fact that T does not proactively do much when he's not working means he is not doing anything to scare her at all. He also has little social expectations and does not seem to be judgmental of anypony. This means that Fluttershy recovers from flustering social situations slightly faster with T when compared to the average pony.

In summary my experience with T has been fascinating, if a bit painful. While I have only really learned a lesson or two concerning the magic of friendship, I have seen a few new perspectives and had a few of the lessons reinforced. I’ll cover more on that in a separate letter. I seem to have run out of parchment again.

Your Faithful Student-
                      Twilight Sparkle.
 

P.S. Don't be surprised if future letters from the others spell Applejack's name A-pull Jack. Dash and Pinkie have been having a field day with that joke.