The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi


Oh, Cheer Up

Jamjars flicked her ears and licked her lips, staring Starlight straight in the eyes. "Hi."

"Hi?" Starlight frowned back at her.

Starlight blinked, and Jamjars took that exact moment to shoot out a hoof, flicking her nose. "You don't hang out with me very often," she decided, swishing her wig and looking out at the dock. Even though it had been over three months since she lost her mane between the time spent flying from Riverfall, the time waiting for the tournament to start, the breaks between Valey's bouts and all the days in between, she hadn't tried regrowing it, keeping a short cut with a little swirl and no tail whatsoever that her wig would easily fit over.

Jamjars grinned after a moment of silence. "And now you're staring at my mane. You haven't been avoiding me because you don't want me to find out you have a crush on me, do you?"

Starlight scowled. "No. If you're going to be like that, then forget it. I can find something better to do."

"Hey, lighten up." Jamjars sighed into the ocean air, the docks around them mercifully empty for the time being. "If you had more of a sense of humor, you'd enjoy my teasing and you'd tease back. But no, you're moping, even though we've been living the good life for the past forever and you could be doing anything you want!" She huffed. "Seriously. The one pony my age on this ship and you're chronically incapable of enjoying yourself now that Ironridge is finally gone!"

"I..." Starlight's eyes widened, and she hesitated. Her first instinct was to defend herself, as it always was... but Jamjars was echoing concerns she had held for a long time without even being prompted, running as far back as Ironridge when she talked to the harmonic flame and it pointed out that she never laughed.

"I can't afford to," she eventually protested, ears drooping.

"Mhmmm." Jamjars nodded and nodded, not even remotely convinced. "Says who?"

Starlight's frown returned. "Have you not been paying attention to what just happened? Valey just made herself famous! And infamous! Again! And now Wallace thinks everyone's going to try to sabotage her or do something and we're stuck-"

"Oh, I know." Jamjars confidently cut her off, clipping her muzzle again.

Starlight rubbed her nose. "Stop that."

Jamjars ignored her, carrying on. "Didn't you hear what I've been up to while you were gone? There's been some attention on this boat. Three gawkers, two reporters and what looked like a politician all came staring and muttering under their breath about Valey Valey Valey. I told you I took care of them, remember?" She stuck out her tongue.

Starlight just blinked. "So?"

"Hello? I'm trying to be nice, here?" Jamjars waved in her face. "Wow, so uncharacteristic of me. Ugh." She curled her lip. "You know, you're less cool than you were in Ironridge."

"I'm not trying to be cool," Starlight sighed. "I'm trying to keep my friends safe when the world does things we can't avoid, and especially when they get themselves into messes they can avoid like this one! I just told you, Valey-"

"And I just told you I've got it handled." Jamjars patted Starlight on the back. "See this?" Her horn pulsed, and the dock briefly gleamed. "It's taken ages of practice, but behold: a new spell. How much can you do with your horn, again?" She put a hoof to her cheek, tilting her head in mock contemplation. "Oh, just about everything? Magic crystals, teleportation, killing windigoes... How much did you work to learn those spells?"

"Why?" Starlight tilted her head for real. "I've always been able to make crystals ever since I started using magic, and teleporting just happened the first time I needed it. They're just what I do."

Jamjars nodded smugly. "Born with power. I like it. It gives me something to outdo. Like this." She pointed at the dock again. "It took weeks of practice and sneaking around in the Royal Stormhoof Library, which as far as I know you've barely even gone to except to keep Maple company even though it's incredibly full of useful information, but I taught myself an anti-friction spell. I didn't even think it would be useful here, but oops! Some stupid griffon is walking along, thinking they're above using their wings, and suddenly they're standing on soap and slide right into the water. See?" Her grin showed teeth. "I'm having fun, getting better and bailing out your friends. If you're overwhelmed with just one of those, you need to step up your game and be a better rival."

"I'm not your rival!" Starlight squeaked, growing frustrated. "I'm... your... I don't even know. I forget why you're on this boat to begin with, but I'm just another filly."

Jamjars shrugged. "I'm here because I want to be. Who needs a better reason than that? And pretending you don't want to be exceptional when you're so many miles above everyone else who doesn't get it or has no ambition or has no talent to back it up like every one of my siblings back in Riverfall..." She blanched. "That's exactly why you're the kind of pony I want to outdo. So buck up and stop being such a sad, boring lump!"

She kicked at Starlight's flank to emphasize her point. In a flash, Starlight shifted to the side, dodged the blow, grabbed Jamjars' leg, pulled on it to destabilize on her, and had the filly on her back before she could even comprehend what had happened. The execution wasn't perfect, but Jamjars was so caught by surprise Starlight couldn't resist climbing atop her and pinning her in a grapple.

"Don't say I'm not doing anything to help my friends," Starlight told her, voice level, their muzzles an inch apart as she stared into Jamjars' wide eyes. "I'm learning to do things like this. And it's still not enough! What more do you want from me!?"

Jamjars blinked, realized struggling was futile, and grinned again. "You saw that coming? You're good. Maybe you're not being a sloth after all!" She perked her ears, breathing just fine despite having Starlight's weight atop her. "So we're both doing things that are useful. Good! Now what's stopping you from enjoying it?"

Starlight returned the smile with a frown. "I'm getting better at fighting so I can do a better job stopping ponies who try to hurt my friends. It's dangerous, involves hurting, and is only useful when things are going poorly! How am I supposed to enjoy that?"

"Do you really need me to spell it out for you?" Jamjars' grin turned dreamy. "Knowing how to do that got you into this situation, didn't it?"

"And this situation is...?" Starlight screwed up her face in confusion.

Jamjars giggled. "You're lying on top of me with our muzzles an inch apart."

Two seconds passed while the implications sunk through Starlight's head, aided by the fact that this was Jamjars and she knew exactly what the filly would do in her situation, never mind that they were both in it together. Her cheeks started to burn, and she scrambled away, kicking against Jamjars in her efforts to get up. "No! I don't romantically like you!"

"Aww." Jamjars regarded her, making no move to get up off her back. "See, that's your problem. We both spent that time in that situation. It's not coming back, you can't use it to maybe change something, and all your friends aren't going to get incinerated or drown because of it. You could have enjoyed it. But you didn't. Which way do you think would make you happier?"

"Relationships are gross anyway," Starlight sighed, lowering her head in frustration and walking a few steps away. "Maybe when I'm older I'll see the point in it, but right now, teasing you like you tease me definitely wouldn't make me happier."

"Your loss. It makes me happy." Jamjars shrugged. "I can't imagine how bitter and dour I'd have been if I couldn't get by like this with my old family. Do you have any idea how hard of a burden it is to entertain yourself while also being the best?" She rolled her eyes. "Wait, you don't need entertainment because you don't need to have run, riiight. Look, if you ever decide to meet me halfway and actually try to do something for yourself for a change, I'll make sacrifices too. How about it?"

"Huh?" Starlight looked up.

Jamjars fixed her with a serious glare. "You laugh, and I won't pester you about liking mares for the entire day."

Starlight's face scrunched in confusion again. "But I don't want you pestering me about..."

"You laughing is the point!" Jamjars groaned, still on her back, letting her limbs go limp. "Ugh. You don't even know what you're missing out on. And I hate to say it, but I don't think I'm exaggerating..."

Starlight stared, waiting to see if she had anything else to say.

"You got that, though?" Jamjars kept watching her. "Have a good time where I can see it, I won't make any kissing jokes, invite you to check out the posters in my room, or do anything of the sort. Come on, don't make me foalsit you like this. Good?" She closed her eyes and plugged her ears with her forehooves, not even getting up yet. "I'm not listening to whether you agree or not, by the way. That offer's good forever. For. Ever. Or until I get fed up with waiting, at least."

Mutely, Starlight shrugged. If she wasn't taking a response anyway... She'd think about it, though.

"Good!" Jamjars opened her eyes and finally flipped upright. "Now let's... Ohhh heeheehee! Starlight! Shhhhhhh!"

Suddenly, Jamjars was glued to Starlight's side, a foreleg over her shoulders and forcing her down and out of sight behind a wooden fixture. "What?" Starlight breathed.

"Pony," Starlight mouthed back.

Starlight looked just enough to see a mare turning onto their dock, glancing around like she was making sure she was in the right place. Jamjars started to snicker with glee, horn lighting. She didn't need to say anything at all... but didn't even have the chance to.

"No! That's Senescey." Starlight reached up with a hoof and extinguished Jamjars' aura. "She's one of Valey's friends."

"Senes-who?" Jamjars blinked, straightening up.

"Hello?" The yellow-maned batpony blinked up at the ship, spreading her wings and hovering to better see. She blinked several times at Starlight, then beamed. "I remember you! This is the right place! Is Valey around? I... wanted to see her."

"See? Told you." Starlight couldn't resist shoving Jamjars, who grinned and shoved her back with an extra flick of her tail. "I think you can? Valey is doing things downstairs."

Senescey landed on the deck, briefly admiring the ship with a low whistle. "Nice architecture," she commented, folding her wings. "Well. Would you mind leading the way?"