Once everycreature had taken a quick bathroom break, as well as restock their snacks, the six students all returned to their room to continue their game of Cards Against Equestria. They then all drew a white card so that they were back up to ten.
“Alright,” Sandbar began. “I think by now, we’re all familiar with the rules of the game, so how about we just jump right into the next round?”
“Sound good,” Smolder answered, clutching her cards tightly. “Now hurry up. I’ve got a comeback to make and I’m only one point behind Ocellus,” she said, giving the changeling next to her a challenging stare.
“Alright,” Sandbar laughed good-naturedly. He then drew the first black card of the round. “As the mom of five rambunctious colts, I’m no stranger to blank.”
Gallus sneered. “Oh, this should be an interesting round.”
The other five students then all got to choosing their cards for this round, which they all did very quickly, and passed them towards Sandbar. The young pony then quickly shuffled the cards so that he couldn’t tell whose card was whose, and read them out one at a time.
“As the mom of five rambunctious colts, I’m no stranger to not vaccinating my child because I am stupid.”
There was plenty of laughter from the whole group from the first card.
Sandbar then drew the next card. “As the mom of five rambunctious colts, I’m no stranger to popping a penis pimple.”
There was a huge roar of laughter from the whole group.
Trying to stifle his laughter enough to continue, Sandbar drew the next card. “As the mom of five rambunctious colts, I’m no stranger to a creepy child singing a nursery rhyme.”
That card got some laughs, but the laughter was now starting to die down.
“As the mom of five rambunctious colts, I’m no stranger to a woman’s right to choose.”
“Whoa, that’s dark,” Smolder commented.
“But wouldn’t the mother not be using that choice if she already had five colts?” Ocellus wondered aloud.
Smolder just shrugged her shoulders. “Who knows? Maybe she started choosing because she already had five.”
“Anyway, moving on,” Sandbar cut in, drawing the last white card. “As the mom of five rambunctious colts, I’m no stranger to an unwanted pregnancy.”
“Dark,” Ocellus deadpanned.
That got another round of laughter.
“Okay this was a great round,” Sandbar spoke up. “I think I’ll give the point to ‘popping a penis pimple’. Who had that card?” He asked, holding up the black card.
“Oooooo, that’s me,” Silverstream waved, speaking up.
“Here you go,” Sandbar said, passing her the black card. “Okay, now Ocellus has five points and the rest of us each have four.”
“Can someone please overtake Ocellus, already,” Smolder cut in. “She’s been in first or tied for first every round now.”
“Calm down, Smolder,” Gallus responded, giving her a sly look. “The rest of us don’t have your love/hate boner for Ocellus, okay?”
That caused Smolder to shoot a glare at Gallus. “I don’t have a love/hate boner for her.”
“Smolder, it’s a pretty hateful boner,” Gallus replied instantly. That got a big roar of laughs from the rest of the group, including some light giggles from Ocellus.
Smolder, meanwhile, just crossed her arms and grumbled to herself. “Can you just move on with the next card, Princess,” she said in a mocking undertone.
“Fine, fine,” Gallus said, drawing a black card to read out. “Okay, this is another two-card round. And the Academy Award for blank goes to blank.”
Quickly getting back into the spirit of the game, everyone drew another white card so that they were back up to ten, and started going through them all, picking out their best two to go with the latest prompt. Two by two, Gallus took the cards from them, placing them down directly in front of himself and quickly shuffled them around. When everyone was ready, he picked up the first set of cards.
“And the Academy Award for Daddy issues goes to the gays.”
That card got an okay amount of laughs.
Gallus then picked up the next set of cards and he immediately smiled when he saw what they said. “I really hope I’m right about who played these cards. And the Academy Award for not being a part of my son’s life goes to this kid I found.”
That card got even more laughs than the last one.
“Negligent parents strike again,” Ocellus commented. She was also pretty sure she knew who played those cards, though in a game like this, you couldn’t be 100% sure.
“And the Academy Award for soft, kissy, missionary sex goes to big beefy buckball boys.”
“Nice alliteration,” Silverstream noted.
“Thanks,” Gallus replied. He then picked up the next two cards. “And the Academy Award for the violation of our most basic of rights goes to a racist cloud that only rains on non-pony creatures.”
The laughter kept on coming, with the group firmly getting back into the spirit of the game.
“And finally,” Gallus began, drawing the last set of cards. “And the Academy Award for assassinating the Princesses goes to MechaTirek.”
“Okay, I’m gonna go with the negligent parents,” Gallus spoke up, picking up the black card for this round. “Who had those cards?” He asked, already looking at Sandbar, who already had his hoof in the air, giving Gallus a knowing look.
Gallus just smirked as he flicked the black card at him. “Dude, I’m starting to think you’ve got some parental issues.”
Sandbar just silently smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
Gallus then turned towards Yona. “Okay, Yona, you’re up next.”
“Yes!” The yak responded, drawing a black card. “Art isn’t just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is blank.”
Everyone else first drew another two white cards, while Gallus only drew one, to get back up to ten. They then all picked out their choices and passed the cards to Yona. After a quick shuffle, she read them out.
“Art isn’t just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is how bad my daughter fucked up her dance recital.”
Everyone laughed hard at that card, except for Silverstream, who instead seemed to scoff at herself. “Well sorry, Mom, but it’s kind of hard to dance when we’re underwater and we don’t have feet.”
There was a bit of an awkward silence following that little outburst.
“Uhh, okay,” Smolder spoke up, trying to diffuse the awkward moment. She then simply gave Yona a look, telling her to move on.
“Art isn’t just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is an inability to pick up on social cues.”
The laughter was back again, including Silverstream, who seemed to have on from her little outburst.
“Pretty accurate, actually,” Gallus commented.
“More for artists than art, though,” Ocellus added.
Yona then drew the next card. “Art isn’t just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is saying ‘I love you’.”
That card didn’t get any laughter, though Ocellus did have a peaceful look on her face. “That sounds nice.”
“But not what we’re looking for,” Smolder quickly added.
Yona then drew the next card. “Art isn’t just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is magnets.” She then raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Magnets? How that work?”
Next to her, Smolder just silently shrugged.
Moving on, the young yak then drew the last card. “Art isn’t just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is abandoning all concepts and categories and seeing the world as it really is.”
There was a silence following the last card; however, it wasn’t an awkward silence, but rather a thoughtful and understanding one.
“Wow, that’s... surprisingly deep.” Gallus spoke up.
“Yeah,” Yona uttered, sounding uncharacteristically quiet. She was then immediately back to her usual self. “Yona choose this card!”
“That’s me again,” Sandbar said, raising his hoof, taking the card from Yona as she passed it to him. “Hey, now I’m in the lead.”
“For now,” Smolder quickly added, before drawing a black card, to take her turn as Card Princess.
Gallus gave her a sly smirk. “Too bad you can’t score on this card.”
“Eat me,” Smolder replied dryly. She then lifted the card up to read it. “You know who else liked blank? Tirek.”
The other students got to choosing their cards and passed them towards Smolder. She then quickly shuffled them before reading them out. “You know who else liked masturbating? Tirek.”
That card got a good few laughs from the group.
“Tirek masturbates?” Silverstream wondered.
“Well, he was sealed in Tartarus for over a thousand years,” Gallus replied. “There’s probably not much else to do there.”
“Aaaaaaahhhhh!” Ocellus suddenly screamed out, rubbing her hooves against her head. “That’s not a mental image I needed right now.”
Ocellus’ reaction got more laughs from the group than the card did.
“If you’re not looking for bad mental images then you’re playing the wrong game.” Gallus added.
Smolder had to take a moment to compose herself from laughter before she could read out the next card. “You know who else liked tentacle porn? Tirek.”
“Aaaaaaahhhhh! It’s even worse now!” Ocellus screamed again, now falling flat on her face.
The laughter from the group was now even greater, with several of them falling on their sides from laughter, and it was more from Ocellus’ reactions than from the actual cards.
It took Smolder another ten seconds before she could continue. “You know who else liked lunchables? Tirek.”
The laughter was starting to die down now, and there was no reaction from Ocellus either. “Eh,” Smolder quickly shrugged before moving on. “You know who else liked licking feet? Tirek.”
That card got mostly the same reaction, as was Smolder’s reaction to it. She then drew the last card. “You know who else liked this boring ass bitch from work? Tirek.”
That card got a decent amount of laughter.
“You mean Cozy Glow?” Silverstream wondered aloud.
“Because that would be accurate. They are basically roomates now,” Gallus added.
“Haha, yeah,” Smolder agreed. “I’ll go with that one. Who had it?” She asked, looking around the room. When she saw Ocellus raise her hoof, she couldn’t help but faceclaw. “Oh, dammit. I gave her a point.”
The other students giigled a little to themselves, while Ocellus just gingerly used her magic to take the black card, still unable to meet the group’s gaze.
Gallus sneered in Smolder’s direction. “Seriously, Smolder, you’re gonna want to take care of that boner now before it goes critical.”
Lowering her claw from her face, Smolder just shot Gallus a glare. “Oh, I’m sure you know all about treating boners, don’t you? You sure you don’t want to take care of it?”
Gallus just waved her off. “Sorry, Smolder, you’re not my type. I like my girls to have a bit more feathers.”
“Well that’s a relief.” Silverstream suddenly blanked when she realised that she said that out loud, and now had all eyes on her. “Uuuhhh,” she stuttered. “Hey, Ocellus, it’s your turn,” she spoke rapidly, wanting to move on quickly.
Looking up again, Ocellus just gave her a knowing smile, having calmed down from the last round, and then used her magic to draw a black card. “What is Princess Luna thinking right now?”
The rest of the students started selecting their cards, with Silverstream choosing hers especially quickly. With all five cards in hoof, Ocellus magically shuffled them and withdrew the first one.
“What is Princess Luna thinking right now? Giving fidget spinners to homeless gri...” She stopped herself suddenly. “...people.” She quickly addended.
When the others started giving her weird looks because of her pause, she quickly moved on and read out the next card. “What is Princess Luna thinking right now? Loving Equestria.”
That card got a few laughs.
“Probably,” Smolder commented.
“What is Princess Luna thinking right now? Wandering into a sex temple and being plunged into a world of erotic mystery.”
The laughter was back in earnest from that card.
“Is Princess Luna horny?” Yona asked the room.
“Probably not,” Silverstream answered. “She was on the moon for a thousand years, so she had plenty of time to masturbate up there.”
“Aaaaaaahhhhh! Please stop it!” Ocellus screamed out again, clutching at her head, hard, with her eyes shut tight.
“No,” Silverstream said playfully, which got another round of laughter from the group.
Ocellus let out another annoyed groan, but let it go quickly since it was all in good fun. She then simply drew the next card and read it off. “What is Princess Luna thinking right now? Crushing the patriarchy.”
“Hasn’t Equestria pretty much done that already?” Smolder asked.
“Unless she want to do it to other countries.” Yona offered.
“Oh.” Smolder realised. “Then yeah, probably.” She added with a wave of her claw.
That got another round of laughter from the group.
“Finally,” Ocellus began. “What is Princess Luna thinking right now? Funnelling money through a series of shell companies.”
“Ooooooo, my cousin, Skystar owns a bunch of those,” Silverstream chimed in. “Yeah, she doesn’t really get out much.” She added.
There was a bit of laughter to follow.
“Okay, I think I’ll go with ‘crushing the patriarchy’.”
“Yes! Yona win!” The yak exclaimed, grabbing the black card for herself.
“Yes, now I’m Card Princess again,” Silverstream squealed in joy, drawing a black card. “What’s the gayest?”
Smolder started grinning instantly. “Oh, this should be a good round.”
There was a quick round of affirmations from all of the other students as they started selecting their cards. They all did so pretty quickly and passed them up to Silverstream, who read them out herself this time.
“What’s the gayest? The Great and Powerful Trixie.”
The laughter was instantaneous, just as expected.
“You know, I always suspected that there was something between her and Starlight,” Gallus commented.
“At least one way,” Ocellus added.
Smolder suddenly raised an eyebrow. “Really? Which one?”
“Oh, that’s not important right now,” Ocellus replied, simply waving her off.
Not dwelling on that comment for much longer, Silverstream drew the next card. “What’s the gayest? Scissoring.”
There was again a lot of laughter from the group.
“Yeah, that is pretty gay,” Smolder commented.
“What’s the gayest? A werewolf who instead of turning into a wolf just fucks boys.”
There wasn’t much laughter from that card, instead only awkward stares.
“That one doesn’t really work if the werewolf is a mare,” Silverstream noted, drawing the next card. “What’s the gayest? The milkmare.”
“You mean the unicorn mare with the huge crotch boobs?” Sandbar wondered aloud.
“Well, she’s probably turned a lot of mares gay,” Smolder answered.
That answer got more laughter than the card did.
“And lastly,” Silverstream began. “What’s the gayest? Bubble butt bottom boys.”
“Nice alliteration,” Gallus noted.
“Thanks,” Silverstream replied, mirroring their exchange from earlier in the round. “I’ll go with scissoring.”
“Yes! Yona win again!” the young yak screamed out in triumph, pumping her hoof in the air, cutting off Smolder before she could make a joke about Silverstream’s choice of words. She then reached over and took the black card that she won, with the rest of the group laughing good-naturedly.
“Well, that’s the end of round five, which means that we’re half way through the game,” Sandbar spoke up. “So, should we take a break here or should we keep going?”
While everyone else in the group was trying to think about which they should do, Ocellus was thinking about something else when she suddenly got an idea. “Hey, Silverstream,” she began, turning towards her hippogriff friend to her immediate left. “Since we’re half-way through the game now, how about you and Gallus go and give Starlight an update on how things are going?”
“Oooooo, that sounds like a great idea!” Silverstream agreed. She then turned towards the griffon across from her. “Don’t you think so, Gallus?”
Gallus was in the middle of giving Ocellus a knowing glare, but quickly dropped it when Silverstream faced him. “Uhh, yeah, sure does,” he stuttered.
“Great.” She beamed; then stood up, grabbed him by the forearm and started dragging him out the door.
Ocellus waved goodbye to them as they exitted the room, and once the door was shut, she immediately turned to address the other three in the room with her. “Alright, listen. We need to talk about Gallus and Silverstream. I’m guessing that you guys have at least noticed that there seems to be something between those two?”
Smolder and Sandbar didn’t respond verbally, and instead just gave her knowing smiles, telling her that, yes, they have noticed. Yona, meanwhile, looked between the pony and dragon on either side of her. “Uh, was it meant be a secret?”
Smolder smirked snidely. “Probably to everybody but those two.” She answered.
“Yeah,” Sandbar joined in, with a good-natured laugh. “I don’t have a sexuality and even I can see that there’s something between those two.”
“There absolutely is,” Ocellus joined the conversation again. “And unlike Starlight and Trixie, it goes both ways.”
Smolder quirked an eyebrow at that. “We ever gonna get an answer to that, by the way?”
“That’s not important right now,” Ocellus dismissed immediately with a wave of her hoof. “The point is, those two clearly have feelings for each other, but they’re both too nervous to say anything to each other directly. So, maybe there’s something we can do to help them along?”
“So, what?” Smolder chimed in. “You need our help for ‘Operation: Get Gallus Laid’ or something.
Ocellus eyes bulged in embarrassment. “What?! No, no, of course not! We’re way too young for that.” She said, with a rapid wave of her hoof.
“Yeah, Smolder, quit teasing,” Sandbar spoke up. “I think that this is a great idea.” He then adopted a determined expression. “From here on out, ‘Operation Hippogriffon’ is a go.”
Smolder turned and gave him a flat stare. “Wow, really? Did it take you all of five seconds to come up with that title?”
“Actually, yes, I did. Ocellus only finished explaining it five seconds ago,” Sandbar replied matter-of-factly.
Smolder just blinked in response. “Touché.”
Yona, again, simply looked between the pony and dragon between her. “Uh, how about, ‘Operation Gallstream’?” Yona chimed in. “You know, because of Gallus and Silverstream’s names?” She explained.
“I still think my name is the most apt.” Smolder commented.
“How do you know what that word means?” Sandbar asked.
“What? I read.”
While the three of them continued arguing about the Operation’s name, Ocellus just sighed quietly to herself. “This might have been a mistake.”