//------------------------------// // Just Dandy // Story: Twilight's Kingdom of Steam // by Darthvalgaav //------------------------------// Twilight blinked behind her goggles as her mind did its best to process this information. This small stallion was Just Dandy, leader of the Copper Heads? Back when she first heard of him Twilight had imagined somepony more like Arms Dealer. Somepony who had a voice that sounded like slime running down the wall causing the fur on her back to stand on end. Somepony whose gaze would seem vile. She imagined somepony who was bulky and scarred, strong enough to command the entire Copper Heads as they did whatever they pleased without worry. The stallion before her seemed more suited to running a small shop. With that said, Twilight was mindful of her lesson with Zecora about judging a book by its cover. While this stallion seemed friendly the tail raiser had reacted with utter fear at the sight of him. The other thestrals that surrounded them, all of whom looked bigger and tougher than this stallion, seemed content to let him do the talking. As if he were in charge. “You’re Just Dandy, leader of the Copper Heads?” asked Twilight to seek clarification. Around her, the other thestrals chuckled as Just Dandy tilted his head. “Well I am Just Dandy,” he said in a tone that told Twilight he was smiling from behind his mask. “But if I was the leader of the Copper Heads, and I’m not saying I am, then it would be foolish of me to admit that to a mare who I don’t know. Let alone one who claims she is working for the new princess. Might get me into a whole lot of trouble, wouldn’t it? But since I am the only Just Dandy in town and you were asking for me, I thought it be polite to see what you wanted.” Twilight felt herself frown. Was he in charge of the gang? Was he a mouth piece? Was he just here wasting her time? Twilight couldn’t be sure. His answer didn’t feel all that clear. The only thing she was sure about was that he was willing to talk at least. If he was the one in charge or sent here on the order of the real leader of the Copper Heads, then there was a chance she could make her case. If he wasn’t, well, she would cross that bridge when she came to it. So, with a sigh, Twilight lowered her hood to reveal her face to them. The reveal got mixed reactions. Most of the thestrals around her could not hide their shock. Some opened their wings while lowering their front legs a bit in a position Twilight had seen Rainbow use more than once when the pegasus was about to pounce on something. Like they were getting ready for an ambush or something. Others began looking around them as they were most likely thinking along the same lines but were preparing to flee. Only Just Dandy seemed weirdly calm about this. Like he had suspected that she might be Twilight. That or he knew nothing would harm them. “Very well then,” said Twilight as she stared at Dandy, ignoring the looks of surprise the others had. Doing her best to stand as tall as possible, Twilight cleared her throat before speaking in the most royal Celestia-like tone she could muster. “Just Dandy, I’ve come to request that you cease your protection of Arms Dealer and turn him over to the proper authorities for his crimes.” “Hmm, is that all?” asked Just Dandy. “Well if I were the leader of the Copper Heads, and I’m not saying I am, then I would have to say no.” Twilight felt herself deflate a bit as she heard this, sinking back into her original posture as she did while the thestrals around them snickered. She should have known this was a long shot. After all, these were criminals. It would have been foolish to believe that they would have listened to her just because she said so. Perhaps this was why she should never do anything without thinking things through. “Please,” said Twilight. “This is very important.” Just Dandy gave her a slow nod. “Yes, it would have to be. To tell the truth I am a bit curious. Why would the new princess of Thunder Valley being going from bar to bar all by her lonesome looking for me? What has this Arms Dealer fellow done to warrant such attention and dedication from you?” Twilight could see his facial muscles move to indicate a grin. “Did the daft fool skip out on a date or something?” As the ponies around her laughed, Twilight couldn’t help showing the anger on her face. She could feel her cheeks reddening, her eyes narrowing, and a snarl appearing behind her mask. Those around her could see this for their laughter grew louder. “No,” she almost spat causing Just Dandy to raise an eyebrow. It seemed he was the only one not laughing. “A few hours ago, Arms Dealer assaulted a maid by the name of Moon Chime and attempted to force himself onto her. When I stumbled upon him I tried to subdue him but failed. According to my personal bodyguard, he most likely headed towards one of your safe houses after escaping from the castle.” As Twilight finished talking, she suddenly became aware of the charged atmosphere around her. The thestrals Dandy had brought his him were no longer laughing. Now they stood still as they looked to their leader, their coats seeming to lose a bit of their color. For a moment, Twilight wondered what had gotten into them. Then… “He did WHAT?!?” shouted Just Dandy, his voice echoing around them. Those closest to him began to tremble, something Twilight couldn’t blame them for. Something about his voice held an edge so sharp and murderous it could slice a diamond in half. While his eyes and mouth were hidden to Twilight she could sense a change within him. It was as if a blanket of darkness and malice had wrapped itself around him, invisible to the naked eye but easily sensed. All he needed now were for his eyes to glow white, shattering the goggles he wore as he did so, and Twilight would have fled from the spot. Any doubts she had about this stallion being the leader of the Copper Heads vanished from her being. Then, just as quickly as it came, the invisible darkness around Just Dandy vanished. Much to her surprise, Just Dandy opened his wings and placed them across his chest while taking a deep breath. Soon after he exhaled, his wings moving back as he did so, reminding Twilight of the breathing technique Cadence had taught her. When he finished Just Dandy looked much more like he had at the start. “Terribly sorry about that princess,” he said in his friendly tone again. He then made a motion with his hoof to tell the others that they were leaving. Twilight watched as those who were on the crates jumped to the ground to join the others in walking out through the alleyway as Dandy continued to talk. “I’m sorry to hear about your maid, truly I am. She is lucky to have such a caring employer willing to go searching for this bloke all by herself. But I think you should call it quits for today. Perhaps try looking up and down the rivers tomorrow. Who knows what you might find.” As he said this, while giving Twilight a bow, the purple princess felt a chill run down her spine. “W-What do you mean by that?” “It’s just a hunch,” said Just Dandy as he trotted past Twilight without looking at her. “A violent bloke like him is bound to make some mistakes while on the run. Might not watch where he is running while on the escape, trip down some stairs, break his worthless neck, and land dead in the river. Best to check start checking in the morning if I were you.” Twilight’s eyebrows furrowed as her horn lit up. “No,” she said firmly as her magic held Dandy in place. While Twilight may not know everything, she felt very sure that he had just announced that he intended to kill Arms Dealer. Something Twilight didn’t want. Quickly, she lifted Dandy into the air only to put him back down right in front of her. “Pleasure meeting you again lovely,” said Dandy, sounding half amused half annoyed. “Looks like you Equestrian princesses seem to have a way of getting a pony’s attention.” “You can’t kill Arms Dealer,” stated Twilight firmly as the other thestrals surrounded the two of them. In the corners of Twilight’s vision she could see a few pulling out daggers, holding them at the ready but not advancing. “What he did was deplorable, but his punishment shouldn’t come from you. Moon Chime needs to know that justice, real justice provided by the courts, will be there for her. If you give him to me I will see to it that he will have his day in court!” “Then if that’s how you feel about it you might want to get back to looking for him,” replied Just Dandy calmly and coolly. “You never know, perhaps you might find him before he has that hypothetical accident I was talking about. Besides, even if I was the leader of the Copper Heads, and I’m not saying I am, there is no way I could give him to you.” Twilight’s hoof smacked the side of her head as she let out a growl of frustration. “I don’t believe this!” she shouted. “Weren’t you once the leader of the Copper Hounds? The ones who used to protect this city from injustice?! How is it that you have fallen so far that you can’t see what’s right and what’s wrong?” Twilight wished Just Dandy didn’t have on his mask or goggles. Then maybe she could see something. A flicker of guilt in his eyes or a look of cold indifference. Perhaps maybe a twitch of the lip to show that her words were having some effect. Twilight opened her mouth to yell at him some more when she heard those around them shifting. Turning her head, she spotted a few members of the gang were no longer looking at her. Instead their heads were hanging low while others chose to turn their heads away from her entirely. Those that still had their heads up had trembles running down their bodies making it harder to hold their daggers straight. One, Twilight noted, had even taken off his bowler hat and was now looking at it. Then Twilight looked back at Just Dandy who was still held within her magic. Wordlessly she released her hold allowing him to move freely once again. He did not turn his head or shake, nor did he move to turn away from her. He just stood there with his wings hanging slightly limp at his sides. Perhaps his eyes were downcast as well. “…I wish I were that stallion,” said Just Dandy, his tone dripping with regret. Twilight bit her lower lip as she turned her head to look away slightly. As the silence grew more uncomfortable, Twilight regretted that she had spoken out of frustration. That was not something Princess Celestia would have done in this situation. While it had provided some insight into those before her it might have come at a terrible price. If she did something like that again, if she offended them or made them angry, there was no telling what they would do. They could lash out in their angry or turn away from her on the spot. Twilight knew she needed to be smarter about this. Needed to handle the situation better. Meaning she needed to understand the situation better. And what better way to get more information than to do some research? “Alright then,” said Twilight as she let out a sigh. “Ah, let’s try something else. Say you were the leader of the Copper Heads, and I’m not saying you are, why can’t you just give me Arms Dealer? Why would you insist on killing him?” Just Dandy tilted his head, as if to give her a funny look, while his wings moved back into place. “Hmm,” he said as his head straightened. “Well that seems obvious, don’t it? If I were the leader of the Copper Heads, and I’m not saying I am, then I’d most likely give me colts a few rules. Lines they ain’t supposed to cross, places they aren’t supposed to go, and all that sort of thing. Things from keeping them from getting too dark if you catch my drift. Course, some of them might get to thinking they could pull one over on me…if I were the leader of that gang that is. Might be getting some thoughts and falling into temptation. Need to know what will happen to gear grime that crosses me. Keeps a sort of order.” Twilight felt herself nodding at this. It was almost frightening how much this made sense to her. From her readings about pre-Equestrian history, there was a point where the pegasi were not united under one banner with various warlords trying to gain dominion over the sky. Much like Just Dandy and the Copper Heads, these warlords would have their own rules with dire consequences to those who broke them. Due to both the brutality of these punishments, as well as the effectiveness of how it helped keep the others in line, the phase ‘kill one to warn a thousand’ was born. The princess had also read books about criminals from other countries who, when they showed too much leniency, often lost control over the entire group. “So, hypothetically speaking, why couldn’t you just give me Arms Dealer?” asked Twilight. “Like I said, he will face justice for what he has done. I will also be doing everything within my power to see that he receives the maximum punishment required by law.” “Because if I were the leader of the Copper Heads, hypothetically speaking of course, then that would send a bad message,” said Just Dandy, his tone sounding like he was rather enjoying this conversation. “Hoofing over a member of my gang just because you asked would make me come off as weak. Or perhaps they would think I was selling them out to save my own flank. No doubt they would turn on me first chance they got.” Twilight raised her hoof to tap at her chin, her mind racing with this new information. This was a tricky situation. Just Dandy seemed to be a reasonable stallion, probably doing his best to keep a bad situation with the Copper Heads from getting worse. How it got this bad in the first place was a question for another night. Right now, the key was to get Arms Dealer without creating a power struggle within the Copper Heads. If something like that were to happen then the chaos it would cause on the streets might lead to a lot of innocent ponies getting hurt. Ideally, she would like to be led to Arms Dealer so she could just teleport him back to the castle. But that was clearly out of the question. She had been publically looking for him, announcing that the princess wanted to speak with Just Dandy. If she were seen going to one of these safe houses so shortly after that then the Copper Heads would know that Just Dandy betrayed them. Same would happen if Twilight sent guards to that location. The timing would make it clear somepony talked, most likely Just Dandy. Maybe she could convince Dandy to get Arms Dealer to leave the safe house for a bit or maybe… Twilight’s eyes widened before a broad grin appeared on her face. “Perhaps there is a way we could both get what we want…in this hypothetical situation,” said Twilight with a hint of slyness in her voice. “What if Arms Dealer were no longer part of the Copper Heads?” Just Dandy narrowed his eyebrows at that in a questioning manner, causing Twilight to continue talking. “You have more than enough grounds to do something like that. Right now I have every Clubber and military officer looking for him and, by extension, the Copper Heads. He’s putting the entire gang in jeopardy until he is caught.” “Or dead,” said one of the other gang members, speaking for the first time. “Listen princess-” “That’s true,” interrupted Twilight as she kept her gaze on Just Dandy. “But just imagine what it would be like. Arms Dealer running around the city, being chased like a wild animal with nopony to help him. His fear will be like nothing he’s ever felt before and will last far longer. If he gets caught then it’ll be on his head, not yours. And if by some miracle he manages to escape then he will have spend the rest of his life in hiding. Whatever comforts he had will be lost to him forever.” Just Dandy chuckled darkly. “Ohh, I like this princess,” he said as he took a step closer to Twilight. “I’d be giving him to you on a silver platter without really giving him to you. Might throw in a threat or two to add to the fear. Make the little piece of slime sweat more so you have a trail to follow.” “What if he tries to make a deal?” asked one of the other gang members. “Like naming names or pointing out-” “Nothing like that will happen as long as I’m in charge,” stated Twilight firmly, interrupting the pony. For a moment, nopony said anything as they looked at each other through unreadable goggles. Then Just Dandy made a jerking movement with his head towards the alleyway. At first nothing happened causing Dandy to jerk his head for a second time. It was then that the other thestrals began to move, slowly, out of the area. One or two of them paused to look at their leader and then Twilight before moving on. Soon there was just the two of them, staring at each other. “Princess,” said Dandy once they were all gone. “Been a while since I’ve seen the big gears up top give a damn about any of us. This idea, it sounds mighty good to me. Would be…nice dealing with a problem like this without having to, well, you know. But I must ask: lovely: can you promise me that gear grime will get what’s coming to him?” Twilight felt her breath leave her at that question. A part of her wanted to answer yes right away. However… “I can’t promise that, I’m afraid,” she said truthfully. “It will be up to the courts. Since I am somewhat involved I don’t think it would be considered a fair trial if I were to act as judge. All I can promise is to do everything within my legal power to build a case as best I can and hope the D.A. is better than whatever lawyer Arms Dealer can afford.” As Just Dandy looked at her, Twilight felt a stabbing in her gut. Apart of her brain was screaming at her, demanding to know why she did that! She should have said right then and there that Arms Dealer would never see the light of the moon again. That she would have a special prison built just for him were she would lock him up and throw away the key. Anything to make sure that Just Dandy sided with her so he would go through with this. Yet Twilight believed that lying to him would not help matters. The last thing she wanted to be was a leader who made big promises she couldn’t keep in order to get others to do what she wanted. Just Dandy needed to know that he could trust her and her government. “Well, you’re an honest lovely I’ll give you that,” said Just Dandy finally. Before Twilight knew what was happening, Just Dandy took her hoof with his own. Then, much to her surprise, he moved his mask out of the way for a brief moment to kiss her hoof. The princess felt her cheeks burn like never before, her brain shutting down as he released her. “Well now, think that’s enough gabbing for me for one day. Perhaps I might take a late day stroll to sort some things over. Hope you find what you’re looking for and can do some good. Because,” he turned around, no longer looking at Twilight who still stood there shocked at the kiss, “that would be…just dandy I think.” And with that, Dandy walked out of the area through the alleyway. For several minutes, Twilight stood there in shock. Her brain was still in a haywire, so much so that she hadn’t even registered Dandy’s awful joke. Then, without warning, she left out an ‘eeeeeeee’ so soft that Fluttershy would have been proud of before teleporting far, far away. -x- “Gee, thanks for coming back after I got my flank chewed out,” said Overkill after Twilight appeared within her own suite. Breathing hard to get her emotions under control Twilight removed her cloak as soot was shaken off, sprinkling the floor around her. As she did this the purple princess saw that the uniformed mare had been sitting there on the floor, sharpening her axe with a whetstone. She looked up at Twilight with an un-amused expression. Off to the side, Spike stopped in the middle of pacing. “Nope, don't bring me along for the ride or anything. Only my job to keep you safe and all that.” “Sorry,” said Twilight honestly as she levitated off her mask and goggles. “Was it really that bad?” “No,” replied Overkill in a flat voice. “Just me exaggerating. It was a nice friendly chat with both the General and Count Raven. At the same time. They offered me milk and cookies.” Overkill shook her head before going back to her weapon. “Both of them were probably mighty pissed at me before you left with the whole Arms Dealer situation. But when I told them that you had left the castle all on your own they were ready to take away my weapons and shoot me with them.” “Hey!” shouted Spike as he ran over and stood between the two mares. He then raised his arms as if trying to shield Twilight. “Sure, Twilight going off into a city she doesn’t know anything about was probably really stupid.” “Spike!” said Twilight. The dragon turned to look at her. “Well, it’s true.” He then turned to look back at Overkill. “Where was I?” “That the princess was mighty stupid,” answered Overkill, a small grin appearing on her face. “If you have any more to say about that, please go on. Or please, let me list off all the ways she could have gotten herself hurt or worse.” “Nah, I think that covers that,” he said causing Twilight to roll her eyes. “But I think the important thing is that she was trying to do something good for Moon Chime. I mean, if somepony who was important to you got hurt like that wouldn’t you do the same?” Overkill eyed Spike for a moment, surveying him with a critical look before looking up at Twilight. While keeping her eyes on the princess, Overkill stood as her axe swung around before landing on her shoulder. “Would have been the messiest bloodbath anypony had ever seen,” admitted Overkill before sighing. She then hefted the axe off her shoulder and pointed it at a startled Twilight. “Look princess, I don’t know how they do things in Equestria and frankly I don’t care much. It’s my job to keep an eye on you and keep you safe. Ditching me like that made me look like I was slacking on the job. So if you ever want to go down into the city like that again then I’m coming with you.” “Right,” said Twilight with an apologetic smile. “I should have realized that you would have gotten in trouble for that. I’m just not-” Twilight’s words were cut off as Overkill dropped her axe, closed the distance between them, and placed a hoof over Twilight’s mouth before her weapon hit the ground. “Yeah, not really one for apology speeches either,” said the thestral mare as her eyes rolled. “So like my mother used to say: Just say you’re sorry so we can move on with our lives!” As she said this, Overkill pulled her hoof away from Twilight’s mouth. Spike, meanwhile, looked at her curiously before putting a claw to his chin which both mares ignored. “So, did anything else happen while I was away?” asked Twilight as she levitated up Overkill’s weapon. Overkill allowed a small grin as she took back her weapon. Perhaps it was because Twilight was moving past the apology speech like she had requested. “You can say that. General Steel Trap received word from the pass just before the whole Arms Dealer thing went down. Apparently something flew past all of the defenses he had set out. He wasn’t in the mood to give out all the details, but I do know that it was fast enough to out fly all of patrol groups in the area. As of right now we have no idea where it’s heading or what its purpose is. Military intelligence might have a few theories but I’m not in the need to know right now. He was going to talk to you about it, but you weren’t here. Spike wasn’t here either when he showed up. The little dragon only came back a short while ago.” Twilight winced at that, her ears flattening as she fought to keep herself from looking away. She had been so used to calling it a day when the sun rose up that she had never considered an emergency situation might occur while she was away. Not once had there been somepony running up to her door after she had retired to inform her of some sort of emergency. The idea that there could have been an emergency when she left had never occurred to her until just now. Yet now that she thought about it, how many times had Princess Celestia been awoken when something horrible was happening in Equestria? How many times did Princess Luna rouse from her slumber to help out in some crisis? It was an eye opening experience to say the least. Twilight had rolled her eyes many times when Count Raven had insisted that ponies come to her rather than her going to them. Perhaps one of the reasons for this was not just about her own personal safety, but also the safety of the nation. Ponies like the General wouldn’t have the luxury of time in the middle of a crisis. The more time they spent looking for her was more time that should have been spent dealing with the issue at hoof. “Has anypony been hurt?” asked Twilight quickly. “No,” said Overkill. “A little winded trying to catch it, but other than that no reports of injuries or deaths have come in. Plus it’s heading in the opposite direction of Automahollow so I’m sure the capital is safe. If you want more details, you’re going to have to ask the General.” Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. That was good to know at least. “So, how did your little venture go? Come up empty hooved?” “No,” said Twilight with a calm smile. “I think we’ll be seeing Arms Dealer rather soon.” “Oh?” went both Spike and Overkill as they looked at her. “I managed to talk to Just Dandy and…” Twilight’s words trailed off as the name of the stallion who had kissed her passed her lips. She could still clearly remember the feeling of his lips on her hoof as well as they sound they made when he kissed it. Her cheeks began to burn. Judging by the amused looks on both the faces of Spike and Overkill, she was sure she was making some sort of odd expression. But she couldn’t help it. No stallion had ever done that to her before. Maybe it was nothing. Perhaps some sort of overreaction to a simple custom! Yeah, that had to be it! Before Twilight could regain her focus, there was a soft knock on the door followed by it opening. Everyone in the room turned to look, seeing Count Raven at the entrance. He was dressed in his normal attire yet somehow looked far more stiff than normal. His face was kept neutral, only raising an eyebrow when he spotted Twilight. “Your Grace,” he said curtly. “The Dukes and Duchesses are here. They are waiting for you.”