//------------------------------//
// Drunken Princess Barnyard Ho-Down Jamboree 
// Story: The Shipping Games 
// by Skystriker 
//------------------------------//

	Despite Pinkie’s reassurance that Big Macintosh’s predicament was nothing out of the ordinary, Luna convinced the bubbly pink mare to accompany her down to Sweet Apple acres to be sure that the mob of ponies didn’t do anything rash to the poor stallion.There only problem was, what to do with Twilight Sparkle while they tried to get help and try to get things back to normal.

“Ooooh! I have an idea! What if we introduce Miss Book Smarts to clop!” Pinkie playfully suggested, as she flicked through a Playmare magazine that had landed in her mane after Cherilee had tossed it at her buckfriend.
“Neigh...I doubt such base thoughts could keep her distracted for long enough Pinkie. There is but one who can hold her attention for the duration we would require. My sister Celestia.” Luna said, causing Pinkie to eye her suspiciously. 
“Well that’s all well and good Lulu, but I don’t think a lecture counts as clop, well I don’t know actually, it might for Twilight.” Pinkie started, although Luna caught she was about to go on yet another of her tangential rambles and decided to nip it in the bud.  
“No, Pinkie, my sister gets Twilight Sparkle wet!” Luna shouted, and in the process alerting half of Ponyville to the fact. 
“Well what do you know! Huh...hey wait a minute, how do you even know that?” Pinkie asked, as she eyed up Luna hoping for a juicy tale. 
“I have noticed she gets a rather odd quiver in her hind legs when she is being scolded by my sister, and one would need to be blind not to notice how affectionately Twilight readily nuzzles her. Is that enough to suspect that my sister makes her nethers glisten?” Luna stated quite matter of factly.  
“It does sound like Celestia gets Twilight’s oven hot. I think I got an idea!” Pinkie said with wide eyed glee as ideas began to swirl in her head.

Luna watched Pinkie as she rubbed her hooves together. The look upon her face was one she had quickly learned in her short time with Pinkie, it was her scheming face.

“Pinkie...dare I ask what thou are thinking?” Luna asked, with a worried tone in her voice, wondering what new scheme she had in mind, half wishing she still had her trusty chest to hide in.
“Lulu, wait here.” Pinkie declared and rushed off, only to quickly return holding a bag in her mouth. 
“Pinkie...what hast thou gathered?” Luna asked, hoping no pyrotechnics were in the sack.
“Oh nothing...just the answer to our problem!” Pinkie said gleefully, she then tipped two items from the bag. 

A magazine with a black baggie covering it, and a little ball connected to a pad with a few buttons on it spilled out onto the table. Luna then examined the items with a puzzled expression for a moment. 

“Pinkie...what is this?” She asked as she picked up the small ball. 
“Oh that? It’s a toy that makes mares feel good, like the one I used on you while I was singing earlier, but this one isn’t stallion shaped.” Pinkie eagerly answered before poking the remote with her hoof, causing the ball to begin to vibrate, and the Princess to drop it in surprise.
“Very well Pinkie, but how dost thou sugge-Oh..by the moon and stars is that my sister?” Luna asked as her cheeks began to burn such a vibrant shade of red, that it was clear to see even through her midnight blue coat.
“This?” Pinkie asked as she held up the magazine, and indeed, there was a white alicorn, who resembled Celestia, on the cover, even down to the flowing, celestial mane. 
“This isn’t your sister, this is a porn mare. Princess Molestia is her stage name, she even wears a fake horn, and her mane is enchanted.” Pinkie explained while Princess Luna’s wings involuntarily flared out as she examined the magazine.
“After closer inspection...I believe you, Pinkie. This “Celestia” is missing a birth mark on a very intimate area.” Luna’s blush subsided somewhat as this minute detail proved it was an imposter.
“And just hooooow do you know that, Lulu?” Pinkie asked in a teasing, sing song voice. 
“It is simply that I am her sister, and know these things from living with her.” Luna said, her eyes moving ever so slightly to the left, before returning to gazing into the light blue eyes of her mare. 
“Alright, but I know you royal types. So all we have to do is make sure Twilight finds the magazine and the toy so she stays put.  If she does goes out, something might happen to her. Your sister being the main worry.” Pinkie said, with a worried look on her face, and Luna nodded in agreement. 

Pinkie and Luna headed to the main room of the library, where the library’s texts and usually, Twilight Sparkle, can be found. As the two peeked their heads inside, they found Twilight waiting for them, giving the two of them a face that had, "did you really think I wouldn’t be keeping an eye on you two" written all over it. 

“I was listening to everything. Just give me the magazine and go. I may be a bookworm, but a mare still has needs.” Luna and Pinkie looked at each other and shrugged. Pinkie then gave Twi the bag containing the toy and magazine.
“Don’t go anywhere, okay, Twilight!” Pinkie shouted as the two ponies ran out the door, and Twi gazed down at the magazine. 
“Great, I already have this issue. I wonder where Spike went.” Twilight thought to herself as she trotted into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her. 

All the way to Sweet Apple Acres  the two of them found what could only be described as the most chaotic impromptu celebration Ponyville had ever had. There was open fornication in the streets, drunken partying throughout the town, random musical numbers being performed, and even the occasional food fight. Princess Luna was most perplexed by the behavior of her subjects, while Pinkie on the other hoof was enjoying all of the chaotic fun. As they turned down the drive to the Apple Family farm a strange cocktail of scents began to tantalize their noses. It was as if a wagon full of sweet scented candles had been set alight somewhere close by. Once they caught sight of the barnyard they discovered the source of the smell was something far more impressive. They came upon Big Macintosh laying in the middle of a pile of sleeping ponies, the powerful stallion was a sweaty, sticky, and exhausted mess. Everypony that was chasing him had gotten exactly what they wanted.

“My word, thou looks as if thou have been bucking apples from thy trees for a week!” Luna said, as she gasped at the depraved, yet arousing sight before her.  
“Oh he’s been bucking something alright, and it wasn’t trees!” Pinkie added, the last part in a sing song voice that Luna found undeniably adorable.
“Eyup.” Big Mac replied weakly, completely exhausted.
“Have you seen Applejack, Big Mac? She isn’t in that pile is she?” Pinkie asked, cracking a joke she hoped the stallion wouldn’t take offense to.
“Enope, she’s in the barn ah think.” He simply replied as he laid his head down on a rather voluptuous flank.
“Ah, If Applejack is here, then I am certain Rainbow Dash should also be here.” Luna said with a smile on her face.
“Eyup.” Big Macintosh said, his words muffled by the flank he was talking into.
“Yeah, I guess...how’d you know they were a couple anyway?” Pinkie asked, and shot Luna a curious look.
“I...well..I was a part of the scheme when my sister coupled them. It seemed so innocent at the time. I saw no harm in bringing those who love each other together.” Luna sheepishly admitted
“What?” Pinkie simply asked, her mouth agape.
“I...it wasn’t anything like this at the time, Pinkie...you must understand, I only had noble goals when I helped my sister...well...except for those guards, but I didn’t understand the concept when I did that.” Luna blurted out, her guilt making her spill her guts.
“Guards? What the buck are you talking about? I don’t care if you were helping your sister at the start right now, but oooooh will your bottom wish it hadn’t been born when Mistress Kinkie Pie is done with it later.” Pinkie said with a somewhat menacing smile. 

Although she would not admit it in such an open setting, the thought of Mistress Kinkie Pie was beginning to sound rather appealing to the Princess of the Night, even if it meant not being able to sit for a few days. The two trotted over to the barn and heard the most peculiar noises coming from within. Pinkie nudged the door open, and the two went wide eyed at the sight before them. They spotted Rainbow dash, who was wearing Applejacks hat, with her back up against a large casque at the back of the barn, and she was pouring a tankard of cider down her stomach, and betwixt her legs was Applejacks head. Even from the distance they were at, the two could clearly see not a drop of cider had hit the ground. Besides Luna’s wings unfurling, and standing up on end once more the two mares were completely frozen at the sight of what they had caught the two mares doing.

“Mmmm tha-tha’s three ciders fer me an two fer you, just remember whoever spills a drop first is wearin the bit’n bridle tahnight.” AJ said from between Dash’s legs, a bit of a slur developing in her speech, after finishing the last of the cider.
“Yeah yeah, I remember, an I’m gonna enjoy the sight of some leather on you.” Dash cockily replied, with a slight slur in her speech as well.
“An ah`m not gonna letcha weasel yer way out ah it this tahme by sweet talkin me an doin that thing ah like with yer wingtips.”  AJ said matter of factly as she let Dash down and poured another tankard of cider. 

Before the two mares could switch places with each other Pinkie, who was leaning forward to get a better look, lost her balance and fell face first into the barn, sending the barn door flying open, and revealing herself and Luna. Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s faces both turned bright red, because they knew that the two had been watching them for at least a little while, and no doubt had seen them in the act.  Rainbow, being her brash self, and helped along with more than a little liquid courage, decided to speak first. 

“Hey...uh...you two...I’m not really sure what you’re doing here...but...you wanna join us for a drink? You don’t have to drink it like we were though. Mugs are okay. Though our way is a lot more fun.” Rainbow Dash slurred as she smiled at them.
“Sure! Sounds like fun!” Pinkie giddily responded, and started bouncing over toward the two blushing mares.
“Pinkie...Applejack, Rainbow Dash, while thy offer does sound tempting, we must protest, and say that now truly is not the time for....” Luna was then cut off by the feeling of a soft pink hoof rubbing up and down her back, focusing on the most sensitive spot between her wings.

Princess Luna’s wings flared out high again, and her blush deepened slightly as she felt Pinkie rubbing her just right. She quickly began to relax under the skillful hooves of the happy go lucky pink coated mare she had come to adore. Pinkie then shot her an irresistable smile, and touched  a tankard of cider to her lips and Luna took a deep sip of it. 

“My...that rubbing...this concoction...tastes truly heavenly, Pinkie.. I do believe I shall take thy up on thy offer.” Luna whispered as she joined the other three mares at the table.
“So Princess wha` brings yah tah our corner ah’ve Equestria?” Applejack asked as she poured another round for them all. 
“Well Applejack tis a long, and admittedly odd tale.” Luna said as she sipped down her drink.
“Aw I luff funny stories! You gotta tell us!” Dash slurred as she nearly fell off her seat. 

Princess Luna and Pinkie then told Applejack and Rainbow Dash all that had happened to them, all the way from waking up in the Shipping Container until getting their bodies back a few hours prior. AJ and RD couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of several of the things that had happened to them along the way, and in retrospect even Pinkie and Luna had to giggle a little at all that had happened. 

“Tha’s a mighty crazy story Princess, oh where are mah manners? Ah’m hostin a Princess ah shoulda brought out the really good stock.” Applejack slurred, then before Luna could object she had produced a large and quite dusty glass bottle filled with a much darker liquid than the cider they were drinking.
“Why didn’t you bring that stuff out for me?” Dash asked, as she pouted on her chair.
“Yah can barely handle the regular apple family brew, if’n yah had just a little ah this ah’d be carryin yah tah bed tonight.” AJ replied with a little grin, knowing she was absolutely right, and knowing Dash wouldn’t even bother to try and say she was wrong.
“Heheh, yeah Dashie, even Applebloom can handle the regular stuff, imagine what the Applejack Daniels would have done to you.” Pinkie added in a quick outburst. 
“Oh this rah’t here is even stronger `n that, an older than ah am.” Applejack explained.
“Applejack this is very nice of thee, but I do not require such special treatment.” Luna said, and gave  AJ a gentle smile.
“Ah insist Princess, besides this here bottle was saved just in case ah Princess ever did decide tuh visit our humble little farm.” Applejack explained as she wiped the dust off the label and it said ‘Apple Family Princess Reserve’ on the side. 
“Dost that say Princess Reserve? J..just how old is that bottle? I remember the old Castle having Apple Whiskey of that name.” Luna asked as her eyes went wide. 
“It’s not quite tha` old but it is a vereh vereh old Apple Family recipe. Even older ‘n Granny Smith.” Applejack said whispering the last part before breaking down giggling.
“Well I would not wish to insult thou by denying thy special bottle its intended purpose, so I shall partake. Thank thee Applejack.” Luna said as she uncorked the bottle.

Princess Luna then poured out three small glasses of the powerful liquor and set them before Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and herself. Rainbow Dash pouted at the fact she didn’t get a glass, but knew that if she had, it would have put her on her flank. The three clinked their glasses and sipped the strong apple liquor down, a shiver ran down all three of their spines as the high proof drink shocked the system of even the princess.

“Oh my, I have not partaken of spirits of like this in a millenia, my head doth swim a bit already.” Princess Luna said with a little giggle as she felt a warm feeling flow over her body.
“Mmmmm this makes me feel all tingly wingly all over!” Pinkie cried, and then giggled and snorted.
“Ah like apple tastin’ stuff” AJ added, having about reached the limit of what she could drink and still see past her hooves, before letting out a hiccup.
“Applejack I think that’s enough for you.” Pinkie said, and pulled Applejacks glass away and set it next to Luna’s.
“Huzzah the shots have been doubled!” Luna announced then filled both glasses up and then drank them one after the other.
“Thaz exactly whah we call it...uh...princez reserve...jus them can drink more than ah couple. Is jus whah makes em even feel drunk...zap apples. Made all alcoholy” She slurred out then hiccuped again.
“It’sh so tasty though I want another one.” Pinkie said as she poured her third glass.
“Thou should be more careful Pinkie, thy friend’s spirits are strong, even I am feeling rather wibbly wobbly already.” Luna admitted as a liquor blush made her cheeks rosy.
“I’m gonna make that blush even brighter little Miss Starry Flank.” Pinkie said with a giggle as she rubbed Luna’s flank.

The four mares continued to drink and talk for most of the night, giggling and going on like little filly’s having their first sleep over. AJ even clumsily snuck into the house and retrieved a whole big plate of Apple family desserts which they gleefully partook of, the sugar helping to keep the spirits from putting them to sleep. 

“I musht confess there are.... there are instashes when I belive my sister sent me to the moon jus so she could have all the royal cakesh to hershelf. She got soooo fat while i was away.” Princess Luna drunkenly ranted, giggling and hiccuping as she went.
“She looksh perfahctly fahne tah me.” AJ said before playfully nibbling on Dash’s ear, so she could watch the cyan pegasus’s wings stand on end.
“N-no no reeally look at her, in compared to me or Cadence, her flank is nearly the size of my moon! I-In fact when I first saw her I was scared cause all I could see was dis big round white thing an I thought I was back on the moon!” Luna cried and nearly fell off her seat laughing as Pinkie did fall to the ground, in a giggling wiggling pile.

With another cider in her system Rainbow Dash no longer had the clarity of mind to see that the Princess Reserve was not something she should be drinking, and in a moment of impulse she grabbed the bottle. Applejack's eyes went wide as Dash put the bottle to her lips, tipped it up, and swallowed three times before slamming it back down on the table.

“Sheee, anyfing you cam drink ah can han- why are you all sshpinning?” Dash started, before trailing off as the powerful liquor took effect.

Although she did not realize it the room was spinning because Rainbow, trying to show off, had lifted off a few feet into the air, and the powerful drink hitting all at once had made her forget she had done so. Then to compound things she lost the flapping rhythm she needed to hover in place, and she started twirling in the air. 

“Applejack, I think we should get her down before this gets all messy.” Pinkie suggested, somehow being the most sober amongst the group.
“C’mere darlin, yer way over tha` limit fer flyin.” Applejack said, and stumbled over to Dash, then yanked her down by her tail.

Unfortunately for both of them Dash no longer had the coordination to land properly after having her tail yanked in such a way, and she fell right on top of Applejack before passing out. Applejack rolled her eyes and dragged Dash over to a soft pile of hay, and laid her down for the night before deciding to spoon in behind her and pass out as well.

“Wow looks like she really Rainbow crashed.” Pinkie cried out before pouncing Luna into another soft pile of hay. 
“Oh Pinkie thy puns are part of the reashon I love you so.” Luna said with a smile as she held Pinkie close and kissed her deeply and passionately. 

They snuggled and kissed in the hay until both of them had nearly faded off to sleep, but Pinkie decided she wanted one last cup of cider before she went to sleep. She filled a tankard up to the brim, then got down between Lunas legs, stuck her tongue out, and poured it all down the Princess’s body. Not a single drop hit the hay. 



Author Notes:
Caske- http://images.fuzing.com/members/6/19/00034619/41014.300x300.jpg
tankard- http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/ead141a09bf88aab5c7a6bcb00d88bc1/137420%20-%20applejack%20artist%3Aahumeniy%20cider%20vector.png

Hope you all enjoyed the latest installment, the story is going to be wrapping up here shortly. Special thanks to my Pre-readers and my very special co-writier. Favs, likes, and comments are always really appreciated and I love hearing what you all think. Now if you'll excuse me, a tankard of cider sounds pretty good right about now.