//------------------------------// // Can't Fool Me // Story: The Olden World // by Czar_Yoshi //------------------------------// "...Really?" Valey squinted, standing at one edge of the colosseum arena, another week behind her and entering her next match. "You're my next match?" "Y-Yes?" A small earth pony trying to hide behind her mane squeaked uncertainly from the opposite side, looking as small as possible. Valey frowned, sensing a tingle of danger from her. Whatever her deal was, she wasn't too cowardly to attack... but she decided to play along. "You sure about that? You look a little, uhh..." "I can't help it, okay!?" the enemy mare squealed, reddening under the pressure. "I-I was never even expecting to make it out of pools, but the best fighter got disqualified and another broke his leg and I just got taken to the shed by a unicorn the size of a moose! I've never been here before!" "Woah. Cool sob story." Valey blinked, feeling the danger mounting: this was definitely a ruse. "I mean, I think you're allowed to just walk away? I won't say no to a free win." The mare sadly curled her lip, looking innocent and vulnerable and very much about to pounce on the first hint of mercy she was shown. Valey growled internally; she was cute, too. This was a dirty trick. Good thing she knew how to play dirty too. Howe motioned emphatically from the sidelines for the match to start, and Valey strolled forward, speaking. "I mean it. If fighting's that hard on you, you can just chill and sail straight on into round three, right? You could just bail. I can pound dudes good. Like, would it help if I promised to go light on you, or something?" The small mare trembled. "I-I was watching when you beat up that stallion last week. Garfield... I'm really in for it, aren't I?" "Nah, take it easy, kid." Valey stepped into sucker punch range. "Seriously. I can make this quick, gentle, or both. Both sound nice? 'Cuz all that involves is stepping out of the ring..." "Urk..." The mare tensed as she got close, and that danger spiked. Here it came... Instead of an answer, the mare threw herself at her in what looked like a hug. "Waaaaah!" she cried, interrupted halfway through by Valey's cutie mark... Time stopped, freezing her in midair. Valey frowned, sizing her up. Where was the threat? It was... there! Three knives, one in each forehoof and one in her mouth. They must have been hidden in her mane, which was blocking her face and forehooves... A dirty trick, indeed. She wondered just how many more-skilled fighters had fallen for this for her to get this far, and also wondered what she was doing with weapons in the first place. Why hadn't she been offered the chance to take a weapon in the arena? Time resumed, and Valey moved with perfection. S-Snap! Her wings shot out, expertly disarming the mare's hooves while appearing to any onlooker to meet her in a comforting hug. Her teeth moved as well, delicately grasping the flat of the mouth knife, then using her greater size and strength to snap that weapon from her as well. With a clatter of silver, the metal bounced away in the arena, and the danger in her mark faded. "Yeah. It's rough, isn't it?" Valey murmured, smoothly throwing the mare so she had a hoof behind her back, appearing as a gentle hug yet perfectly angled to be a powerful and inescapable grapple. Her target hissed and whimpered in frustration, but Valey hummed, drowning them out. "Come on. Let's get you somewhere less-stressful..." Pinning her with a leg and both wings, Valey hobbled to the arena edge, carrying her with her. "Surrender," she breathed in the mare's ear. "You really don't want me to stop playing along, here." "Ouch..." her opponent whined in her grasp. "P-Please don't card me..." "What, the Regent stuff? Nah, you're cool. But you might wanna shape up your act, or someone else is gonna recognize you and be ticked enough to ban you, because bananas if you haven't done this before." Valey reached the edge of the ring, patting her on the head. "Now shoo!" She released the mare and stepped back, giving her a fond look for the crowd but making it very clear there was an inescapable punch aimed at her face if she did anything but leave. The mare drooped, returning to hiding behind her mane. "Thanks. I'll g-go now..." And go she did, slinking out of the ring and back down the tunnel she had come from. "That's right, ladies and gentlemares, we've got a victor," Howe exploded, raucously commentating and pumping his wings from nearby. "Behooold!" "Admiral Valey, the terror and savior of Ironridge!" Neon Nova's voice added from the loudspeakers. "Biz-zoww! Flooring opponents with style and grace so hard there isn't even a fight, she's past the second wave without even breaking a sweat! I'll be honest: my heart went out for that poor little mare, and she just showed them a whole new side of combat!" "It's almost as if problems can be solved with friendship," Howe loudly muttered, eyes shining with conspiracy. "Let me tell you, my glorious audience, what I beheld with my very eyes: the most gentle whupping of my career! That mare didn't even get maimed, disfigured, flattened or have a single one of her vital organs rearranged! Truly, this is a day of smiling fate." "You said it, brother-of-mine!" Neon Nova backed him up, pausing for a moment as he probably posed up in his commenting booth. "A whupping! Hey, Admiral! How about your thoughts on the match?" Valey shrugged, wandering over to Howe's outstretched rapier-microphone. "Eh. She seemed nice enough. Hope stuff works out for her." "Showing dignity to vanquished opponents." Howe shook his head in awe. "Well, we mustn't delay! Go, uhh, take a load off in the break room and all that, prospective future champion. Now, for our next lineup, we have Stormhoof's most aggressive chef, Guy Who Fry, versus a shadowy challenger..." Valey didn't need to be asked twice. She slipped from the arena like a blur, pausing only briefly to wave at the sounds of cheering before vanishing into the tunnel to the preparation room. "Whew," she finally panted, bathed in darkness again. Howe and Neon... at least they were doing this for every good fighter, but still, did they mind? She didn't need attention drawn to her! She was trying to slip as far as she could undetected, not become a sensation! Even if it did feel good... "Hey, Dawg," a drawling voice greeted from behind. "Buh?" Valey blinked, looking up and hopping to her hooves. "Hey?" A green-and-gold earth pony who looked like he whistled a lot nodded at her in approval, flipping up his shades and offering a friendly hoof. "You were wicked out there, girl! Saw you turn Garfield to meat a week ago, and whew, I'm glad to say we're on the same side for now..." He chuckled nervously. "Still just bush-league scrubs, but we're past the first cut! That counts big-time. Means we actually got a right to be here. Anyhoo, wanted to let you know some cool homies of mine are having a party in one of the break rooms over there. A little old 'we survived' shindig. You know... so some of us who stand a chance could get to know each other early enough that we're still allies in this madness. Whew." He shook his head, hoof still outstretched. Valey uncertainly bumped it. He registered as just a bit of a flake to her... or maybe not a flake, and he was genuine but just acted like one? No danger whatsoever; he was honest about any well-wishes. "A party, huh?" She shrugged. "Yeah, sure, I'll drop by for a few minutes. Never gonna say no to free food."