//------------------------------// // Hanging Under the Mistletoe // Story: Just a Little Batty // by I Thought I Was Toast //------------------------------// “Scree-hee-hee!~ Scree-hee-hee!~ Scree-hee-hee-heehee!~” The bells on my harness jingled as I giggled and made faces at my brothers while Mom and Dad packed the carriage. The old snow crackled under my hooves as the new stuff daintily drifted down from the clouds above; I almost wanted to see what it would be like to stay in Ponyville for Hearth’s Warming. Almost. “Pfffffrt!” Red Dawn scrunched his face and blew a raspberry; a bit of saliva splattered on my glasses as his little feathery stubs blew up a spit storm. “Bah-bah! Bah-bah!” “Sssssss!” Rolling Thunder agreed with a hiss, baring his fangs at me as he scowled. “Bah-bah, Nai. Bah-bah. Gibda dahdah.” “Come on, guys,” I pouted. “Dad’s too busy to make faces at you right now. Can’t you cut me some slack?” “Hmmf!” Red Dawn turned his nose up in a huff, while Rolling just let out the most piteous whine and pouted at me in turn. “Dada no dahdah!” “Daaaad!” I looked over my shoulder. “Finish faster! The troops are getting restless!” “Gibda dahdah!” By the bad dad word, why did that come from the right? I turned back to find Red mysteriously missing, a wide-eyed Thunder staring to my side. His hooves wriggled, and his face scrunched. Then, he melted into darkness and disappeared with a pop. “Dahdah! Dahdah!” “I believe these are yours?” “Sorry….” I cringed as I turned to find both my brothers crawling all over Diamond and Silver Spoon. Silver was not amused by the hoof in her nose, but Diamond was tittering like mad. Silver Spoon extracted the hoof while holding a perfect deadpan. “I’m not changing any diapers.” “They just went, so you won’t have to worry about that for—“ My nose wrinkled instinctively as Rolling Thunder’s face screwed up in a fashion I was getting way too familiar with. “Incoming artillery!” I flapped forward to grab the foal and got the girls out of the blast radius. “Dad! Tell me you didn’t pack the diapers yet?!” “Saved them for last, just in case.” Dad chuckled, tossing me the baby bag. “You got it this time, or are you gonna faint like a greenhoof again?” “Screep!” I glanced back at the others who were watching me with smirks. “I didn’t faint! It just got hard to breath from all their sh—” “Hrmmm?” Mom’s brow lifted like an executioner’s axe. “—guano!” Launching up and into the air, I pulled Thunder inside the house before Mom’s blade could fall. “Alright, soldier, listen up.” I loomed above my little cadet-in-training to scowl down at him. “I do not want a repeat of last time, understood?” “Nai!” Rolling Thunder squirmed as his stomach gurgled ominously beneath me—little trumpeting toots heralding yet more bombs dropping. “Give me an aye, not a nigh, Thunder.” I had to start breathing through my mouth. “Nai!” “Aye!” “Nai!” “Aye!” “No! Nai!” Thunder let loose a squeaky wail and slugged me. “Nai! Nai! Nai!” The smell got worse as the tears started flowing. “Nightingale Mooncrest!” Dad could have given Princess Luna a run for her money. “What the—” I flinched at the next few words. “—do you think you’re doing?!” “Tempered!” Mom’s hiss was somehow both quieter and a thousand times more threatening. “Oh guano! I can fix it! I can fix it!” Dancing on my hind hooves, I took the plunge and opened the hanger doors. “By Luna, I can’t fix this!” I fell back in a coughing fit, waving a hoof in front of my face. “Screeeeeee! Daaaaaaaad! The stink crawled up my nose!” “Did you breath through your mouth?!” Guano, guano, guano! Dad was definitely coming up! “Of course I did! It wasn’t enou—” As I leaned in for one last attempt at damage control, Thunder finally loosed yellow napalm. “Ah! Don’t let it burn me again!” I dived into the floor to avoid the splash zone. Burrowing to the safety of the porch, I popped out just as Dad landed to pout at him and scuff the cloud with a forehoof. “Sorry….” I shrank back into the cloud as Dad just chuckled and ruffled my mane. “It’s okay, sport. You get used to it. Trust me.” He grinned like a loon under moon. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!” Rustling my wings, I puffed out my chest and pointed inside. “There’s no way I was ever that bad.” “Of course you weren’t!” Dad’s laugh rumbled like thunder across the street, sending tingles down my spine. “If anything, you were worse!” “Daaaaaaad!” My squeak was so shrill I swore the windows cracked. “How the hay was Night worse than a pair of colts?” Diamond’s voice trailed up from below, and suddenly the sun itself probably didn’t burn as hot as me. “Please… don’t….” I screwed my eyes shut and squirmed at the hungry fire burning up my neck. Dad just chuckled and walked inside to pick up the baby bag. Sighing in relief, I glided down to find Diamond tilting her head at me while Silver smirked. I squirmed as they waited with bated breath, scuffing the ground with my hoof and looking every which way. “Don’t listen to him. I was nothing like my brothers.” “Mhmm.” Silver’s smirk grew. “No, really.” I bit my lip. “Keep telling yourself that.” Her eyes were sparkling with insubordination. “Why shouldn’t I?! It’s true!” With a huff, I stomped the ground, moving to go help Mom while Dad was indisposed. If only I had caught her wistful smile in time. “Oh, Night, dear… you poor, sweet, summer child…. I hate to burst your bubble, but you were far worse than your brothers.” Mom giggled and let out a sigh as she glanced first up at the house then over at Red—who was still crawling all over Diamond. “You were always so quiet… so shy… so peaceful…. We never saw any of your tantrums coming—” She sighed again. “—and they always managed to happen at the worst times.” I squeaked as she swept me in a bone-crushing hug, and Dad laughed as he flew back down with an almost sparkling Rolling Thunder on his back. “Nai! Nai!” Squirming in Dad’s hooves, he disappeared with a pop to jump out of my shadow and hug me. “Nai!” He nuzzled my mane. “Nai means me, doesn’t it?” My ears flattened. “Don’t worry, champ. You’ll learn, just like I did.” Dad booped my snoot before going back to shoving one of Diamond’s many suitcases into the trunk. “Although, I was taught by the best....” “Daaaaaaaad!” “What?” He waggled his brows at me. “You used to refuse to cry when you had to go, and you know what happened?” My pupils shrank as only the tiniest of squeaks could escape my mouth. “You let everything build up and up until your bombs literally had no other choice but to blow a hole open in your backside. You think your brothers are bad? I should show you the pictures I have of the time you blew up the base at Chernobull.” “I need to see that.” Silver’s grin was shark-like as she leaned in. “No, wait. Diamond needs to see that.” “I do?” “Screep!” “I do!” “Why are you girls being so mean today?” I pouted, making Diamond flinch. “Ah, they just think it’s adorable to see you all flustered!” Dad slugged my shoulder. “I used to do the same thing to your mother!” His grin turned predatory. “Maybe one of them has a crush on you, eh, Silver?” “Forgive me, sir, but eww.” Silver didn’t even bat an eye. “Yeah… eww….” Diamond, on the other hoof, gave a shaky laugh. With a heave, Dad put the last of the bags in the carriage. “Ah, finally! Why do you two need so many bloody bags? We won’t be gone for more than a week.” “Not all of us like to pack with military proficiency, sir.” Silver adjusted her glasses. “Thank you for taking us, though. It’s been forever since I saw my Uncle Silver Sword.” “You’re the one providing the swanky carriage.” Dad gave Silver a bow. “I should be thanking you! The twins are still in that jumpy phase, and the last thing we need right now is that open-topped wagon of ours tempting them with sweet, sweet cold mountain sky.” “Dad doesn’t trust that I’ll catch them.” I frowned, leaning back on my haunches to cross my hooves over my chest. “No, I trust you to catch one of them, Night. It’s not your fault we have two little bundles of joy to keep in check.” Dad laughed and leaned in to boop both mine and Thunder’s snoot. Mom snorted. “No, that would most definitely be your fault, dear. I only wanted one more foal in the family.” Dad grinned and puffed out his chest. “I totally accept that this is my fault. Next time I’ll make sure we end up with triplets.” Mom flinched. “Please don’t get ahead of yourself, Tempered. You want triplets, then it's your turn to be the mom.” “That’s an option?!” My mouth dropped to the icy ground, and I looked up at Dad. “Does that mean I can be the dad then?! Dads are way cooler than moms!” My ears flattened as Mom huffed and Dad roared in laughter. “Ah, Mom, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that!” Even as she scowled at me, Mom smiled. “It’s alright, sweetie. Believe me, I asked myself that question more than once these last few months.” “What do you think, Diamond?” Silver chuckled. “You want to be the mom or the dad when you grow up?” “I think we should stop talking about this and get going already!” The steadily shrinking Diamond Tiara was black as pitch as she grabbed Thunder off of Dad to lock herself in the cabin with the twins. “You know you have to let me and Night’s mom in before we can go, right?” Silver tittered until the lock hesitantly clicked open once more. “Thank you.” Sauntering into the cabin, she winked at me as she closed the door. “You’re not the only one who’s fun to tease!” “Spoooon!” Diamond hissed as I blinked for a moment and looked at Mom. “Why’s Diamond so—” “You’ll understand soon enough.” Mom giggled and ruffled my mane before climbing into the carriage as well. “Well, fine then!” I pouted, kicking at the ground as I walked to the front to strap myself in next to Dad. He snickered as we lifted up and off towards Canterlot, looking down to slug me in the shoulder after we were set on course. “Mares. Am I right?” His laugh was too infectious for me to keep scowling. “I know!” I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help grinning like a loon under moon. “You know what you need, champ? Carols.” Dad nodded sagely. “Nothing helps morale around Hearth’s Warming more than carols.” “Dibs on doing Frosty the Kind-Hearted Windigo first!” “It’s like you read my mind, sport.” As we both took a deep breath, I knew the carriage ride would be over far, far too soon. “Merry Hearth’s Warming!” My voice was sure to go hoarse if I kept waving and shouting whenever somepony beneath us looked up. We were passing over Canterlot in a whirlwind of silver bells—Dad belting out even more greetings than me—and the adrenaline from the flight had me higher than the moon in the night sky. The shops were still open; the streets were still full. Hearth’s Warming at Canterlot was always the best! I squinted so hard I could almost pretend to see all the colorful flashing lights as they were meant to be seen. Holly decorated almost every building, while icicles iced the windows like good, old stalactites. “Oi, you ready? That’s where we’re dropping your friends off down there.” Dad nudged me and pointed with one hoof. “You bet I’m ready!” With a laugh, we swooped down to skid along the icy streets and straight into the middle of a snowball war. Snow peppered us from both sides as we charged on through until we finally came to a stop in front of an old, weathered apartment squeezed between two bright and cheery houses like a lost sardine in a cherry salad. “We’re here!” Unhitching myself, I moved to open the carriage door for Diamond and Silver. The dangerous sounds of gossipy giggling made me pause with my hoof on the door, but the suspicious laughter quickly smothered itself before I could work up the courage to do anything. There was a moment of not-quite silence where the twins made gurgly baby noises and Dad grunted as he started heaving bags out of the back. Then the giggling returned as the door opened from the other side. “You know you don’t have to eavesdrop to join in, right?” Diamond smirked at me with cheeks only slightly less burnt than when she went in. “Nuh-uh. No thanks.” I shook my head. “I’ll leave the colt talk to you and Silver and Mom.” “Oh, we weren’t talking about colts.” Diamond grinned. “You weren’t?” My ears perked up. “Then what were you talking about?” “Wouldn’t you like to know.” With a giggle, Diamond sauntered past me. “Ummm….” I looked at Silver as she got out only to be met with a shrug. “Don’t look at me. Not knowing is your problem, not mine. I mean, really.” She sniffed. “You’re blind as a bat with earmuffs.” “Fine then.” I pouted as I followed her and began helping Dad unload the mountain of luggage they had brought. “Shine the sun in my eyes, why don’t you?” “You know, I don’t remember my uncle being so…” Silver bit her lip as she gazed up at the rundown apartment building. “…down on his luck. No wonder it took forever to convince Mom and Dad to let us stay.” “How long has it been since you last saw him?” My ear flicked as I turned to look with her. “A couple years?” She rubbed the back of her head. “Well I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you!” I smiled and slugged her shoulder. “Yeah….” Her grin wasn’t quite as bright. “He certainly sounded enthusiastic when I wrote to him.” She glanced at the still mounting pile of luggage. “I hope it stays that way….” “We’ll be fine!” Diamond sidled up to Silver and wrapped a hoof around. “I mean you got me here with you, and Night’s just a few streets over as back up.” I squirmed. “Well… we’re actually heading to the other side of town, so—” “Trust me! What’s the worst that can happen? Have I ever let you down before, Silver?” Diamond beamed with the brilliance of a thousand stars. Silver simply arched a brow. “That doesn’t count and you know it!” Diamond giggled. The brow arched further. “Neither does that!” And further. “Or that!” I grinned like a loon under moon as Diamond stuck out her tongue. Dad was hitching himself back up, though, so it was time to leave my friends to it. “Love you, girls.” I swept them both into a big wing hug. “Maybe tomorrow we can meet up to go ice skating or something.” “That’d be… nice….” Diamond hummed as she leaned in with a shiver. “Mmmm…. Maybe we can sell a hug or two while we’re there.” “Only if you buy me hot chocolate with any bits you make.” I chuckled as I pulled back. “See ya!” I hitched myself up to the wagon and we were gone into the night—the bells on my harness jingling with every flap of our wings. “So you looking forward to this week?” Dad hummed another carol as we flew. “You bet!” I giggled. “The twins have been helping me practice for Zephyr!” “Senior or Junior?” Dad chuckled as we passed several weather pegasi setting up the clouds for tomorrow's blanket of snow. “Can’t it be both?” Feeling giddy, I signaled for a downward descent, and we swooped in low so I could grab a branch or two from the trees of Canterlot Park. A few careful snips with my fangs had them in tip top shape for some antlers for me and Dad. “That’s not very nice, Night.” Dad tried to hide his grin behind a smile. “Junior’s not such a baby as long as he’s had his nap and diaper change.” As we came down on Sunset Avenue, a jolt sent us up on the curve for a moment, slipping and sliding. I made to move into the path of least resistance as Dad plowed ahead—which of course meant I joined him in barreling through the snow piled on the side of the road like a giggling two-headed madmare. “Screeheeheeheehee!” “Screeheeheehaahaa!” “Oh me, oh my, dearie. Is that an adorable little pair of bats I hear?” Grandma Billowy teemed with titters as she teetered down the front steps of her house with a snow white colt on her back. “Unca Temmy! Nightan— Nightin—” Zephyr’s face scrunched as his lips blurbled about, and he squirmed his way out of Grandma’s grip to canter up to us. “Night! Mm not scare no more! “Hah! So you aren’t, soldier!” Dad laughed as he scooped my cousin up and tossed him into the air a few times. Zephyr’s wings buzzed as he giggled like a loon under moon, going higher and higher each time until Dad finally decided to catch my cousin and set him on me so he could properly unhitch himself. “Screep!” Flailing as he crawled about, I tried not to buck Zephyr as he latched onto my ears and pulled. “Giddy up!” His shout made me flinch from sheer volume, and some snow avalanched off the nearby houses and trees as he stomped into my withers and imitated Dad’s laugh. “Screeheeheehaahaahaa! Mma kite of the round table!” “It’s knight.” I hissed as I flicked my ears to clear the ringing out of them and finally managed to get him safely on the ground. “Kites are the evil minions of vengeful, time traveling witches.” “Nice save, kiddo.” Dad chortled. “But we all know you meant the b-word.” “Dad!” My cheeks burned blacker than an umbra. “I swear to Celestia, Tempered. If you keep corrupting our foals, then you won’t be making any more for the rest of your days.” Mom had to waddle down the carriage steps with both twins wrapped around her barrel. “Pfft!” Dad snorted, waving a hoof as he rolled his eyes. “We both know that’s a lie.” He puffed out his chest. “And if it’s not, I’m just that good at slipping and falling.” “Huh?” I looked between them both, Zephyr still holding my hoof. “Nothing, Night. Your father just thinks he’s funny.” Mom sighed. “Oh, I’m more than funny, sweetie.” Dad let out a bark of laughter. “I’m downright hilarious.” “Like a nail in the hoof.” Mom ruffled her wings. “Please, mother, back me up on this.” “So sorry, dearie. Did you say something?” With a titter, Grandma raised her hoof to her mouth. “My ribs hurt from laughing too much.” “Moooooom!” “Unca Temmy and Aun Mornin are weeeeeird.” Zephyr craned his neck back and forth as Mom and Dad did Mom and Dad things. “Oh, you haven’t seen anything.” I giggled, leading Zephyr around the back so I could keep an eye on him as I liberated our single, well-packed family suitcase from the very back of the trunk. “Ooof! I’m—” I heaved the brick of a bag back up. “I’m gonna have to have a word with Diamond about her bags. I swear…. If all her stuff crushed my Hearth’s Warming gifts, I’m gonna scree so hard it’ll crack her tiara.” “Who’s Dia— Diem— Di—” His face all but imploded in effort as he kept trying. “Diamond?” “Yeah! Her!” “She’s a friend.” I smiled and looked back the way we came. “She’s in Canterlot, so I’ll probably be dipping out tomorrow to do some stuff with her.” “What kinda stuff?” “The stuff-y kinda stuff.” I shrugged. Zephyr tilted his head to squint at me as I led him back around the carriage. “Mommy ahlways says tha when she wantsta kiss Daddy.” “Screep!” The faceplant was instant and painful, and the slush got in my mane as I slid a trot or two down the street. “Are you alright, dearie?” Grandma Billowy hobbled over to pick up Zephyr again. “Mrgmmrff!” The street made an excellent screaming pillow. “I’m sorry?” Carefully bending down she patted my withers. “I can’t hear you like that, sweetie. My ears were never that good to begin with, and they’ve only gotten worse with age.” “I said Diamond wouldn’t want to kis— I mean, I’m fine!” My wings rustled fiercely as I stood up—my face burning like the black abyss of Nightmare Moon. “And tha’s wha Daddy says.” Zephyr nodded sagely. “But I don’t— I’m not— No! Just no! Okay?” I glowered at the little demon, filled with all his newfound confidence. How was he worse when he wasn’t crying? “Diamond doesn’t like me like that.” “Don’t you think you kids should—” “But you wike her?” “—get… along….” Grandma sighed as my eyes bugged so much my glasses almost popped off my muzzle. “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Tell Zephyr to stop!” My whine bled into frequencies nopony else could hear. Dad and Mom blinked, looking over from their not-fight. Red hugged tight onto Dad’s neck, his ears twitching as Rolling started sniffling on Mom; Dad only had time for a single bad dad word before the storm broke and Thunder wailed like a banshee. Red quickly joined him once the dam had burst, and Dad’s stream of Words-That-Must-Not-Be-Said got even more colorful as they started a competition to see who was louder. The insubordinate Zephyr fled into the house with a giggle as Dad bared his fangs at me in a very dangerous smile—a shiver going down my spine at the sight. Ooops…. A prayer was quickly whispered to the Nightmother. “You needed something, sport?” “I… umm… I wasn’t… Zephyr was…” I squirmed backwards, sinking into Grandma’s shadow so I could hide between her legs. “Zephyr was saying stupid stuff….” “Stuff such as?” Dad’s teeth glinted with the hungry light of the sun. “You know…” My ears splayed back. “…stuff.” “I see….” The grin grew a bit, grinding a little as Mom tried to shush the twins. “Can you give me something more than that, kiddo? I can’t get mad at Zephyr if you don’t tell me what he did wrong, Night.” “I know….” “And?” “It’s stupid…. You’ll get mad at me if I tell you….” I shrank even further into the shadows despite Grandma’s hoof rubbing into my back. “I’m already just a teensy bit mad, sport, and I’d rather it not be at you. Please just tell me what he did; we can talk this through.” “He said…” An extra icky image of me and Diamond sprang to mind, and I bit my lip. I just couldn’t! “I’m sorry, sir! It won’t happen again, sir! Please don’t punish me! I still want to hang out with Diamond tomorrow!” “Hold on, Night. I never said—” “You and Mom just handle the twins! I’ll get the luggage taken care of! Then, I’ll… I’ll…” “You can help me with cooking, dearie….” “I’ll help Grandma with cooking!” I threw our bag over my back and bolted towards the house. “I’ll make the best darn cricket loaf ever!” “Night, wait—” The door slammed behind me to cut Dad off as I fled like a coward to our room in the attic. “N-N-N-Nightingale?” The gangly form of Uncle Zephyr had to jump out of the way as I rounded up the stairs. “I-Is s-something wrong? Y-your aunt and I thought we heard crying.” “Everything’s fine!” I kept going before he could see the dammed water building in my eyes. “Just a little problem with the twins!” Swooping up the tell-tale hole in the ceiling, my tail grabbed the bottom rung of the ladder and heaved it back up so I could toss the door down and seal myself inside. It was dark and musty and damp: everything I needed to brood as I set our bag on the floor and rested my head upon it. “Dad never would have gotten mad like that a month ago….” I managed to keep most of the tears in by scowling into the canvas. “Why can’t foals just stay inside until they’re able to walk and talk and do all the fun stuff?! All I wanted was somepony to play with!” I hugged the bag tight wishing Mom and Dad were here rather than dealing with Thing One and Thing Two. “Stupid Zephyr.” Finally getting up, I knocked the suitcase over and unzipped it to start unpacking our stuff. “Stupid twins.” Toiletries, check. Backup diapers, check. Presents, check. “Stupid, icky imaginati— Awww, no! Don’t tell me they broke!” There was the tinkle of crystal as I unwrapped Diamond’s gift and the shattered shards of a pair of earrings fell on the ground. I stared at them—the Nightmare rising within me—before it gave a mighty whinny as I tossed the useless piece of garbage away. “Ragger. Shtagger. Fragger. Dagger!” I threw myself on my bed to viciously punch my pillow. “Why is everything going wrong today?!” Stuffing my face in downy comfort, I screeed at the top of my lungs. “Hey, Nightingale, you up here still?” I froze at the sound of the attic door opening. The sounds of Uncle Courage climbing up the ladder made my heart beat faster, and I curled even tighter around my pillow. When he reached the top, there was a moment of harsh, judging silence; I let out a mewling squeak—unable to even look up at him—and his sigh made me squirm just from how much it sounded like Dad. “Ah, fewmits…. Why is bro almost always right about these things?” W-what?” I mumbled deep into the pillow as I clutched it tight. “Oi. I can’t hear you like that, and you know it.” “W-what is Dad right about this time?” I sniffled as I peeked upwards. “You.” Uncle Courage waved a hoof up and down at me. “The bugger said you needed somepony to talk to.” “And what? He couldn’t talk to me himself?!” I bared my fangs with a growl, my wings itching to unfurl and flare. “Let me guess. He’s busy with the twins again!” “Oh, he’s definitely busy with the twins right now.” Uncle Courage scowled at the opening to the attic as the giggling of foals carried up through the hole. “The son of a sunwitch thought it’d be better if I talked to you.” “Well, it’s not.” I huffed, crossing my forelegs and pouting. “You say that now, kiddo, but could you have said it if your dad was here?” My uncle chuckled as he moved forward to ruffle my mane and sit next to me. “I—” Biting my lip, I looked down. “I don’t know…. Maybe?” There were definitely some things I couldn’t tell him…. “I get what you’re going through, too, you know.” He offered his wing and I only hesitated a moment before scooting under it. “I went through it when your Dad was born.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Oh, yes, you do. You just hide it.” “Nuh-uh.” “Yuh-huh.” “Nuh-uh!” “Yuh-huh!” One monstrous nose boop and noogy later, he was holding me just like Dad would. “Case in point, I’m just a wee bit jealous of your dad right now. He gets to do this all the time.” “R-really?” I looked up with wide eyes. “B-but Dad—” “Has everything I want and more.” Uncle Courage grinned like a loon under moon. “You know, he was a downright monster as a foal. You’ve heard your mom go on and on about how he strutted about like he was Luna’s goddess given gift to ponykind, right?” “Mhmm.” The sniffles finally retreated as I snuggled into his side. “Well, before he was all that he was all—” There was a loud, thunderous sneeze from below us, and Uncle Courage’s grin widened. “He bawled so loud and so often that your grandma and grandpa had to bribe the guard not to lock him up for disturbing the peace.” “You’re kidding!” Giggling as my mane was ruffled once more, I looked up at him and stuck my tongue out. “Tell me the truth!” “I am.” There may have been a chuckle, but Uncle Courage’s face was straight as an arrow. “No way!” I leaned back with a gasp. “Yes way.” He winked. “Although I may be exaggerating just a wee bit. Your grandma and grandpa did have to pay a couple fines, though. Drove us all batty and the neighbors battier.” “That doesn’t sound like Dad….” “Ha! You think that’s bad?” Bits of dust fell from the ceiling as the room shook with Uncle Courage’s laughter. “I have all sorts of stories about what we had to go through whenever he dropped a bomb on us! Trust me, those little stinkers of yours don’t hold a candle to him.” My nose wrinkled and my ears splayed back at the thought. “How— How did you handle it all? The twins are just so… so…” I buried my head in his chest and screeed. “That’s it, soldier. Let it all out.” Uncle Courage gently patted my back. “If you’re looking for some magic solution from me, though, you’re gonna be disappointed.” “R-really?” A pit formed deep in my stomach at his words. “Eeyup. I just soldier on and bear it.” Uncle Courage shrugged, and the knot inside me tightened. “Your Dad has one of the hottest positions in the guard, you, the pups, and a grade-A Apple Pie; while he’s living the dream life, I’m stuck sniffing for a slice.” “But… we didn’t bring any pie?” I tilted my head. “Not that kind of pie, kiddo.” With a slap to my back, he laughed. “Some Apple Pie is too sweet for kids.” “Just like how that applejack stuff my parents get you is apple juice only meant for adults?” “Exactly.” Uncle Courage nodded. “The point is, you aren’t ever really going to stop feeling like your brothers are thieving little horseapples, but that’s just how siblings work. Your Aunt Star Fort was just as jealous at me as I was at your Dad, and we were all jealous of General Badass when he came along and started showing us up like he was some secret alicorn princess.” “Then what am I supposed to do?!” I stuffed my head into the bed. “I hate feeling like this…. I hate that I hate them! I know its not their fault, but… I’m a bad sister, aren't I?!” Uncle Courage shook his head. “I suggest you come downstairs to bake with your Grandma Billowy like you promised.” With a grin, he ruffled my mane. “She still has to do a bit of shopping with your Grandpa Skyfall, and she promised to take the twins out with her. Tempered wanted to do some board games with hot cocoa like last year, and I brought some cards for when we’re done with that. It’ll just be you, me, and your parents. No babies of any kind allowed.” “No Zephyr either?” My ears flicked as I looked up with starry eyes. “Eenope. The little tyke already dragged his father off to build ‘a bajillion and a half snowponies.’” The high pitched squeaky imitation of my cousin got me to laugh. “Your Aunt Dewdrops is still here, though.” “That’s fine!” The world was just a little darker now—sweet shade almost filling the room as I smiled and got to my hooves. “As long as there’s no Zephyr I’m good!” “Why?” My uncle’s brow arched as he clicked his tongue at me. “Is there something else you need to talk about?” “No!” I tried not to have icky thoughts about Diamond. “You su—” “Yes, I’m sure! Just drop it!” For a second, there was silence again, but it didn’t feel anywhere near as judgemental as before. “Eh, not my kid, not my problem. Just make sure to tell your Dad when you’re ready.” “Yes, sir!” With a quick, dutiful salute, I got one last chuckle from my uncle as we exited the attic to join everypony else waiting for us below. The smell of cinnamon and sugar hit me like a wave as I stepped into the kitchen. The ovens were blazing; it was even warmer than the living room where Dad was snoozing by the fireplace with a bit of drool trailing onto his pillow. Mom—who was the pillow—had one twin wrapped up in each wing, but I could feel her gaze following me and only me through the door. “Achoo!” My squeaky sneeze had Dad snort in his sleep and pull Mom closer. “Ah, there you are, dearie!” Grandma looked up from her cookbook to beam at me. “I was starting to worry you weren’t coming down!” “You’re not the only one….” I squirmed at the feel of Mom’s stare before shaking my head and skipping in to help. “It’s alright, Uncle Courage squared me away.” “Mhmm.” As Grandma opened the oven to pull out the snickerdoodles, I could feel the heat wash over me. “I suppose we’re lucky Morning never had a problem with Zephyr like that, but your uncle has always been… underwhelming to say the least….” I snorted as I headed to the sink to wash my hooves. “That’s putting it lightly.” “Now, now, Nightingale. Don’t be like that.” Grandma tsked. “You should know by now that not everypony is cut out for greatness. Your Uncle Zephyr is a simple pony with simple dreams.” “A little too simple sometimes….” I muttered to myself as I took to the air to hover by the counter. “I heard that, missy.” A flick of her wing had Grandma’s spoon cutting through the air to bonk me on the nose. “Sorry.” I winced, tongue flicking out to nab the spoonful of cookie dough she’d splattered me with. “It’s alright….” With a sigh, Grandma hoofed me another bowl along with a recipe card for some sort of cookie. “You are your father’s daughter after all.” “Yes, I am.” I puffed out my chest and rustled my wings before glancing at the card. Wait…. Was this Grandma’s secret recipe?! Wow, I was expecting something more— My brow furrowed. “Hey, Grandma! Why does this call for crushed ants?” Grandma stumbled mid-whisk before she tittered like a moth all aflitter. “Oh me, oh my. I gave you the wrong card, didn’t I? Whoopsie!” Shiftily looking from side to side, she leaned in to whisper. “Don’t tell anypony, but all my best recipes come from those lessons your Grandma Moonshine gave me.” “No. Way.” My mouth dropped open as I thought of all the cookies we’d stuffed ourselves with over the years. “So Uncle Zephyr’s been inhaling powdered ants all these years?! But he haaaaaaaates bugs!” “Shhh-shhh-shhh-shhh-shhhhhhhhh!” Looking to the kitchen door as she put a hoof over my mouth, Grandma shushed me with sweet, sugary cookie dough. “That’s a secret to take to the grave, dearie. I don’t think poor Zephyr’s heart could take it.” “Mmmmalright!” Licking Grandma’s hoof, I bounced over to the pantry and opened it. “Ah, score! They’re still bucking!” I snatched up the jar of creepy crawlies and scampered back over to the counter. “You want me to make the dough like Grandma Moonshine does too?” “Well, I just use a bowl, but you can do it however you want.” “Screeheeheeheehee!” My fangs gleamed sharper than a pair of crescent moons as I whipped up the dry mix in a flurry of wings and hooves. It was quickly laid out into a bowl—a picture perfect little crater of moondust that soon met a grisly fate. An egg-shaped meteor came hurtling from nowhere—its rocky shell breaking apart on entry to have a gooey liquid center crash into the bed of the crater. “Alien invasion!” I tipped the jar over to rain chitinous pods of black death upon the planet, crashing them all into the lake of eggy goodness. I watched them scream silently in agony as they drowned—a horseapple eating grin on my face. Only a brave few made it to the edge of the bowl to climb out. A brave, foalish few. “Die invaders, die!” My hooves raised up high as I let out a vicious battle scree. “Thou shall not take my moon!” Descending like the Nightmother herself, my hooves pounded into the heathens like Mom beat into Dad in the ring. I crushed them, mashed them, and bled them dry—all the good bits soaking into the dough—before finally rolling it out for all the cookie cutters. “Having fun, dearie?” “Ah!” I was left hanging from the light above to peek down at a smiling Grandma. “Ummm… yes?” I tilted my head and gave a little giggle. “I didn’t do something wrong, did I?” “No.” She chuckled as she pointed to the door. “But I think all your antics woke somepony up.” I glanced over to find Dad grinning like a loon under moon. Our eyes met, and it cracked a little wider—too wide, like a deer stuck in spotlights on Bridleway. “Screep!” I swooped to the floor and scrambled back a few steps. “Dad! How long have you been standing there?!” “Long enough, sport.” His fangs gleamed unnaturally white. “You wanna play some board games?” “Ummm…” I looked at Grandma for help. “I don’t know…. I haven’t really helped much yet, and I did promise to help Grandma out earlier….” “It’s alright, dear. Go have fun with your father. I’ve held this fort on my own for a long time, one more year won’t matter much.” “Ummm…. Okay….” Denied, I shifted from hoof to hoof, studiously studying Dad’s hooves like the most studious, little bookworm ever. “Eyes up here, soldier.” I cringed at how soft his voice was. “Mmm’sorry….” “There’s nothing to be sorry for, kiddo. If anything, I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.” “But I made the twins cry again….” I shrunk in a little. “I make them cry a lot….” “They’re foals, Night. That’s what they do.” He hesitantly came forward to reach a hoof out. “You got mad, though; you always get mad.” My hooves clenched. “Sometimes you try to hide it, but I can always hear it in your voice.” “Oh, my little light in the night.” Sweeping me into a big, fuzzy hug, Dad crushed me so close to him my bones cracked from the stress. “And then you spend more time with the twins….” I nuzzled into his chest with a sniffle. “My sweet, sweet, adorable, little filly who I could never stop loving no matter what you possibly do!” “And I hate it! I hate when they drag you away! There! I said it!” I latched on tight and sobbed into his shaggy coat. “Please don’t be mad at me….” “Let it all out, sport.” Dad’s massive hoof gently rubbed into my back. “I’m here for you now, and I’m anything but mad….” His wings were so nice and warm; I could hide in their shadows forever. “I am really sorry, though.” “Nai….” In the darkness, another pair of itsy bitsy hooves wrapped around me, and I choked back the urge to cry harder. “C-c’mere you!” I latched onto Rolling and he squeaked in protest, squirming to get out of my iron grip. “Nai!” There was a pop, and he was suddenly gone, reappearing on my other side to timidly hug me once again. “Nai….” “Gibda! Gibda!” The other little demon batted at Dad’s wings with a vengeance, his whining making my ears splay back as I clutched Dad tighter. “You want me to call your mother to get them?” Dad nuzzled me as I wiped the last of my tears on his chest. “No… I’m good….” I snuggled closer. “Do you think we’ll be able to play without the twins flipping the board or eating the pieces?” “Maybe, maybe not.” Dad’s deep rumbling chuckle was like an earthquake going through me. “It depends on how well your Mom distracts them. Once Grandma’s done in here, though, we’ll be set for sure.” “No offense, dearie, but I’d be done much faster if you weren’t colonizing my kitchen.” I giggled; Dad roared with laughter; we both made our way to the living room. “So what are you in the mood for, sport?” At some point when I’d been helping Grandma, somepony had dragged a card table into the living room and piled up a mountain of games on it. “We got Life, Ponopoly, Batty Eights—” “Risk!” I immediately pounced on the box on the bottom—the rest of the pile threatening to topple as I claimed it. “Keep pulling and you’ll be playing Jangha instead.” Dad grinned like a loon under moon. “So you finally got over the thrashing I gave you last time?” “You just got lucky, and you know it.” I crossed my hooves with a huff. “Well, considering you’ve never beaten me without your mother’s help.” His grin turned predatory. “Hey! I’ve gotten close before!” My pout grew. “I only got mad last time cause you rolled like a bajillion sixes while I kept getting twos.” “The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.” Dad nodded daddily. “Right, Morning?” Mom—who had been watching with a smile—giggled but said nothing. “What?” Dad tilted his head. “Nothing, dear, you’re just such a dork sometimes.” “But I’m a lovable dork!” “Nah, you’re just a dorky dork.” Uncle Courage stretched and yawned from the spot he was hanging from, his wings flapping once or twice before he dropped to the floor. “We finally gonna start so I can kick your tempered metal butt?” “Yeah, we are!” I hopped up and down. “We’re playing Risk!” “Well, I guess we won’t be needing those cards of mine, then. That’s going to take all night.” “Conquering the world the right way takes time.” With a gentle hum, Mom sweeped the rest of the games off the table to stack them besides the couch. “Dibs on the Brumby Isles!” Aha! Now my victory was assured! “How did I still lose, Diamond?” Twelve hours later and I still couldn’t believe it. “I had Oatstralia!” “I don’t know, Night, but you really ought to start on your hot chocolate.” Diamond smirked at me from across our table at the cafe. “It’s gonna turn into just plain old chocolate.” “I guess….” I glowered at the steam rising from the little opening in my styrofoam cup. “I’m so gonna get Dad next time, though.” “I’d expect nothing less!” Diamond tittered, tilting back her cup to finish the last of it before slapping it on the table. “Ahhhhh, that was good. I think I might go grab a second one before we head out to the ice rink.” “Already taken care of.” I screeped as Silver stepped outside to hoof Diamond another cup and toss me a silver thermos. “What’s this?” I turned it over and around in my hooves; it was actually engraved with my cutie mark. “Your Hearth’s Warming gift.” With a roll of her eyes, Silver sipped her second cup. “Uncle Silver said the best things to buy military brats are simple and practical.” “I’m not a brat, I’m a Junior Guard!” I giggled as I put it in my saddlebags. “…Thank you.” “No problem.” She waved a hoof. “It’s nothing compared to Diamond’s gift for you. “Really?” I squirmed, putting a hoof in my bag to feel the two roughly wrapped presents. “Well… umm… I guess if we’re doing the presents now, I can give you both yours…. Although, there was kind of an accident with Diamond’s….” “Hrmm?” Diamond blinked as I hoofed Silver her gift, my hoof retreating to protectively cradle the other one. “Yours was, uh… a lot prettier, but it broke apart on the ride up….” I looked down with a whimper. “I tried to take it to a couple Canterlot stores to see if they could fix it, but everypony told me it was beyond repair. I had to— I had to buy you something else….” “That’s alright, Night. It’s the thought that counts.” Diamond’s smile was as radiant as the moon. “Is this the same filly who once demanded all her presents come in gilded boxes?” Silver arched her brow. “The point—” Diamond fluttered her eyelashes as her smile turned into a pout. “—is that I’m sure I’ll love anything you give me.” “Yeah, Night, go on.” Silver chuckled as she hefted her own gift a few times as if testing it. “You heard her. She wants you to give it to her.” “Okay, then….” My hoof edged forward to hold the tiny piece of wrapping before Diamond. She took it with a smile, and my foreleg snapped back before it could regret the decision. My eyes slowly crawled upwards to meet hers as she unwrapped it; my heart pounded as I waited for to realize what a mistake I’d made. “Is this… a horn ring?” “Yes!” I mewled as I shrunk in my seat. “I’m sorry! I already spent a lot on the earrings, and it was all they had left that I could afford!” “I love it.” There was the sound of a chair scraping backwards and then there were soft fuzzy hooves wrapping themselves around me. “Y-you do?” I pulled back momentarily to blink at Diamond. “You know what they say.” Silver was inspecting her own new hair pin with a critical eye. “Diamonds are forever.” “It’s cubic zirconium.” I sighed. “And Diamond doesn’t have a horn….” “Get creative, then.” Silver’s predatory smirk and Diamond’s heated blush made my wings itch. “I’ll get it adjusted by Amethyst back in Ponyville.” With a rough cough, Diamond suddenly pulled away from me to retreat back around the table. “Make it into an earring or something.” “Ah, no wild nose piercings to bring back your dad?” Silver chuckled as I rustled my wings at the mere thought of Diamond doing something so… so rebellious. “If I came back with a nose piercing, I’m pretty sure Daddy would have a heart attack.” Diamond tittered. “Still, thank you, Night. It’s beautiful.” “You’re welcome.” I managed to crack a sheepish smile while my heart continued to pound away like a stampeding rhinoceros. “So…” I ran my hoof in circles on the table. “...what’s this super awesome gift you got me?” “You’ll see!~” Standing up with a giggle, Diamond finished off her second cup and tossed it away with a flourish. “If you want to get your gift, we really ought to get going!~” She pranced into the street, hips sashaying back and forth as she hopped and skipped through the snow. I blinked for a moment—staring after her until Silver stopped snickering to nudge me out of my seat. Quickly donning our scarves and earmuffs, we cantered after Diamond to catch up to her near the end of the street, and I shared my awesome new thermos with them while we walked to the ice rink. The sound of ponies laughing and the hiss of ice skates soon filled the air as we reached the park and headed out to the pond. It was actually a bit more crowded than I thought it would be, and as I looked out at all the ponies zipping and zooping and twirling about, I felt a knot growing in my stomach. “I thought you said nobody used this rink, Night?” Diamond sat at the edge of the ice to pull out her skates from her saddlebags. “I did…” I bit my lip. “…at night.” “Teehee!” Diamond tittered. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to share. Stick close to me, alright? It’s been a while since I’ve gone skating.” “Yeah….” I eyed all the onlookers warily as I put my own skates on. “Me too….” I braced myself next to Diamond as she got ready to step out onto the ice. Silver had already shot off and was doing triple sows, but the two of us knew it was better to take our good, sweet time. Well, I did, at least. When Diamond took the leap, I wasn’t quite ready yet. “Screep!” I tripped not even two steps out onto the ice as I tried to follow her—dragging Diamond right down with me as I scrambled to grab anything to save myself. “Careful Night!~” Silver laughed as she circled us twice to turn into a spinning leap right over us. “Ponies might get the wrong idea about our brave and fearless leader if you keep that up!~” From my position on top of Diamond, I blushed hot enough to melt the ice. “S-shut up! So what if I’m bad at ice skating!” “Umm… Night?” “Yeah?” I looked down to find Diamond blushing even more than I was—her body almost radiating heat like a little star. “Oh! Sorry!” I scurried off of her as fast as I could and held out a hoof to help her up. “No, that’s not what I—” She sighed before grabbing my hoof. “Thanks….” “No problem!” I tried to move forward only to dangerously wobble in place. “Heheh…. Maybe I should just sit on the sideline and watch….” “No!” Diamond clutched at my side like it was a life preserver. “Just… stay here with me. We’ll take it slow.” I furrowed my brow. “Please?! I’ll be here the whole time! You can’t fall if we’re holding each others hooves all the way!” “You already did fall.” Silver snickered as she slid past. “Not! Helping!” Diamond called over her shoulder before turning to pout at me once more. By the Nightmother could she pout. “Fine….” I frowned. “Just don’t look at me like that….” “You mean it?!” Diamond vibrated as she pressed herself close against me and took my hoof in hers. “I already said yes.” I rolled my eyes. “What more do you—” “Wheeheehee!” The world turned into a blur as Diamond whirled me about for a few seconds. “Oh! Sorry! I’ll just, umm… stick to laps, I guess.” “Please do.” My grip on her hoof was iron after that little display, and my wing snaked around her in a death grip. “Teehee! Don’t you worry, Night! I’ll be the brave and fearless leader here!” “Got that covered already.” Silver zooped past us again, snatching up Diamond’s tiara and sticking out her tongue. “Just try to keep up and maybe I’ll give it back!” “Grrrrrrr….” A low predatory growl rumbled in the back of my throat as Silver circled back to spray us with ice. “Get going, Diamond. We’re gonna catch Silver if it’s the last thing we do.” “But—“ “Your honor demands it!” I took a second to gesture grandly with my forehoof—a big mistake seeing as it meant letting go of Diamond’s. “Screep!” Several crashes and a lot more blushing later, Diamond had finally gotten us going in a loose circle around the rink. “Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Don’t look down.” I kept my neck rigid and my eyes locked forward. “Just pretend I’m flying, and go with the flow.” My wing tightened around Diamond as I wobbled about. “Still haven’t caught me.” Silver waggled her brows as she lapped us yet again, turning to skate backwards in front of us as we inched along. “Hey, Diamond! How much longer we got?” “Well, we should probably leave around—” The clock tower struck two o’clock. “—now….” Diamond pouted. “Aww… but this is so much fun!” “Squeak—” I lurched off of DIamond onto the bank. “—for yourself. I thought I’d only have to make an idiot of myself in front of you two.” “You didn’t make an idiot of yourself!” Scooting after me, Diamond fell down beside me to start taking off her skates. “Some would beg to differ.” Silver raced around the rink once more before sliding to a perfect stop to join us. “Shush, you!” Diamond slugged Silver in the shoulder and reclaimed her crown, tittering as she got up to lead us once more. “Now, come on! Rarity said she’d have my order half an hour ago!” “Your order?” I tilted my head. “No spoilers!” Diamond laughed as she cantered ahead. Blinking at Silver’s dead fisheye face got me nothing, so I just shrugged and we cantered after her. Diamond was running full throttle, though, and a minute or two without her letting us catch back up had my wings itching terribly. “Hop on.” I ordered Silver Spoon, spreading my wings with a few well paced flaps. “Uh, what?” “Hop. On.” I flapped again for good measure and angled my back to give her a solid spot to jump towards. “Yeah, no. I don’t think so.” Silver snorted. “I prefer not breaking my legs, thank you very much.” “Suit yourself.” With a shrug and a flap of my wings, I lifted off to catch her in a massive backdraft as I took after Diamond full speed. “Hey—” Whatever she said was buried in snow as I left her behind. I felt only slightly guilty about that; after all, she had a chance to hop on. “Screeeeeeee!” Swooping in with a battle cry, I wrapped my hooves around Diamond and lifted her with a grunt. She left the ground with a squeak—her body locking up for a moment before she looked back, saw me, and clutched me like a life preserver. “Eeep! W-what the hay are you doing, Night?!” She buried her face in my chest. “Put me down. Put me down! Put me down!” “Shhhh…. It’s okay, Diamond; I got you.” I nuzzled her mane while squeezing her closer to reassure her. “The only way you’re gonna fall is over my cold, dead body.” “Mrgmfff!” She peeked up at me. “Don’t even joke about that.” “It’s not a joke, though.” My smile shone like moonbeams. “If I want to be a Guard, I need something worth protecting. That’s what Dad always says.” As we passed the clocktower, I circled around it to get my bearings. “Now, where are we going? You mentioned Rarity, so are we heading for the Canterlot Carousel?” “Y-yes!” Diamond’s voice cracked with an incredibly high squeak, and her face burned with a heat so fierce I could feel it. It was probably just altitude sickness. “You okay?” I angled accordingly, setting myself on a gentle, downward slope. “I can land if it’s too uncomfortable for you.” “No! I-I’m fine! It’s k-kinda nice up here now that I’m looking out.” “It is a nice view, isn’t it?” I hummed as I watched ponies move like tasty, tasty ants below us. “You should see it at night sometime—all the city lights below make it feel like you’re swimming in a sea of stars.” “Are you… offering to take me up again?” Diamond stopped craning her head about to look back up at me. “I don’t see why not.” Why did saying that make my frogs sweat? “A-and Silver?” “I—” I licked my lips as her eyes fluttered like butterflies—my stomach rolled as she pouted up at me. “Something tells me Silver wouldn’t be that interested, so I guess it could be just the two of us….” “G-good….” Diamond shivered and drew closer to me—her teeth chattering like jackhammers in my ears. I could hear her heart pounding; or was that mine? Both maybe? Either way, I wrapped my hooves even tighter around her to give her as much warmth as I could. As I landed in front the boutique, I found myself reluctant to let go, but she nuzzled herself beneath my wing, so things ended up alright. “Awww….” When we walked into the boutique, the mare behind the counter looked up to smile at us. “Well bust my buttons, you two are just the most adorable little couple I’ve seen all week.” She tittered as I squirmed next to Diamond. “Is there something I can help you lovebirds with?” “We’re just—” My wriggling intensified, and I opened my mouth to correct the poor, deluded mare, but Diamond just went straight to business. “We’re looking to pick up an order recently shipped in from Ponyville.” Diamond pulled out her purse. “The order should be for Miss Diamond Tiara.” “Of course! The little troublemakers from Ponyville!” Her smile was picture perfect. “Miss Rarity speaks quite highly of how much quieter things are now that you two are accompanying her sister on her adventures.” “I do my best.” I puffed out my chest. “Yes, you do.” Diamond giggled as she made her way out from under my wing to head up to the counter. “Think of this as a reward for cutting the amount of time we spend covered in tree sap in half.” “Huh?” I tilted my head. “We’re picking up your Hearth’s Warming present, doofus! Why do you think I didn’t want to spoil it?!” “But I don’t do dresses….” Instantly on guard, I glanced over the mannequines as if I could spot the lacy predator lurking in their midst. “And as your fill— I mean good friend, I definitely didn’t get you one.” Having paid the storekeeper, Diamond sauntered back to me with a smirk. “You—” She poked my ribs. “—have been growing since last Heart’s and Hooves. Rarity agreed with me that you probably needed another dress uniform, so I’m getting you that and a little something extra.” “Something extra?” I took a step back as I arched my brow. “Yeah.” With a smirk, Diamond advanced in kind, keeping herself so close to me that all I could smell was her perfume. “Trust me, though. You’ll love it. Rarity went on a research spree just for you when I brought it up.” “Fine… but there better not be any frills!” I huffed. “Where do you want me to stand, miss…” “Sassy Saddles.” Raising a hoof to cover her mouth, the mare tittered. “But, please, just call me Sassy.” “Miss Saddles.” I nodded to her and she giggled again. “And I wondered why a filly your age was getting a dress uniform. Such a proper mare!” She gestured to one of the mirrors off to the side. “Why don’t you stand over there and I’ll grab your outfits.” “Yes, Ma’am!” At least I got to show off my skills in standing still. “So what do think, darling?” Miss Saddles pulled the last pin from my new clothes as she backed away to admire me. “I think I looked better in the dress uniform.” I scowled at my reflection. “Don’t be ridiculous. You look great!” Diamond sidled up to wrap a hoof around me. “But Diiiiiamond!” My ears splayed back as I looked back down my flank. “You said you weren’t going to get me a dress!” “That, dear Night, is a kilt.” Diamond’s smirk left my wings itching as I squirmed on the podium. “Much like your dress uniform, it has a military history—a male military history—and there would be several ponies very upset to hear you call it a dress.” “I know what a kilt is!” I bared my fangs. “This is not a kilt!” I gestured to the soft as silk skirt with its shimmery silver and grey plaid. “It’s way too pretty to be a kilt!” Diamond’s smirk grew wider. “And? Nothing says military wear can’t be fashionable. Rarity did a great job with it.” She fluttered her eyelashes. “I think you look beautiful.” “Well, I don’t.” My neck burned with the heat of a thousand suns that made me want to rip my doublet right off. “If you don’t want it, you can always just return it!~” “No!” I bit my lip and tried to hide under my balmoral bonnet as her grin threatened to consume her entire face. “It’s a nice gift, okay? Just don’t expect me to wear it that often….” “Whatever you want, Night.” The smirk became a radiant smile—almost too bright to bear looking at. “Is that everything, Sassy?” “I believe so.” Unnoticed during our conversation, Miss Saddles had packed my new dress uniform and brought it up to us with a smile. “Would you care to wear your new outfit outside with you, darling? Or would you like me to box it for you as well?” “Box please!” The room couldn’t get any hotter as I scrambled to get out of my gift. “I… I want to save it for special occasions.” “But of course.” The shopkeeper tittered. “I’ll be back with it in a second.” “Special occasions, huh?” Diamond arched a brow. “What kinda special occasion?” “Things and stuff.” I wriggled like a tasty maggot under her sharp, predatory gaze before she burst into giggles. “Fine. Keep your dark, broody secrets of the night. I’m just glad you like it.” “Mrgmmfff….” I looked down at my hooves. “Thank you….” “For the gift? Or for letting it go?” “Yes….” Putting my scarf back on was a real chore with how my neck was still on fire. Thankfully, the jingling of the front door saved me. “I’m—” Gasp. “—here!” “Hey, Silver, what took you so long?” I glanced up to see the earth pony looking like she’d flown the Cloudsdale Grand Prix. “I—” Gasp. “—got—” Gasp. “—lost!” “You got lost for two hours?” I tilted my head as she finally stood to brush the snow from her raggled mane. “No.” Adjusting her glasses, she glowered at me. “After somepony left me buried in snow, I had to go thaw myself out with hot chocolate.” Closing her eyes with a huff, she shook her head. “Well, that and I figured it would be better if I let you two have some alone time.” Huh? “You should have seen my spit take when the clock struck four.” Silver gave the tiniest of smirks. “I guess time flies when on sugar highs.” “Teehee! You’re just awful sometimes!” Diamond slugged Silver in the shoulder as Miss Saddles came out with a box for my new kilt. “Have I ever told you that?” “Yes, you’ve told me several times.” Silver flicked Diamond back with her tail. “I don’t know how I keep surprising you.” “Umm, girls?” I shuffled from hoof to hoof. “Not to be a burden, but I should probably head back in case Grandma needs help with dinner.” “Yeah…” Silver sighed. “…we should probably get going too, Diamond. If we don’t get back before Uncle Silver starts cooking we might end up with rations again.” “He feeds you rations?!” I reared back in horror. “Please tell me he didn’t give you the omelet.” Latching onto Silver, I squinted into her eyes for any sign of trauma. “He can’t cook to save his life.” Silver snorted, rolling her eyes. “Don’t worry about it, though. Diamond and I brought enough spending money that we can probably eat out for the rest of the week. Honestly, he probably needs it. I think my uncle doesn’t even remember what real food tastes like.” “I can talk to Grandma about setting a few extra spots on Hearth’s Warming.” I squirmed as we exited the shop to begin walking back towards Silver’s place. “My Great Aunt Wispy ended up staying down south this year to stay close to Great Uncle Cirrus…. We can totally seat three more!” “Thank you, Night.” Silver smiled. “But you know just how stubborn old soldiers can get. I don’t know if my uncle would want that.” “Then I’ll have Mom talk sense into him.” I flashed her an extra fangy grin. “I’m pretty sure she outranks him; Nothing else is going to be open that day, and I’ll eat my kilt if I let you and Diamond go through Hearth’s Warming on nothing but rations.” “Hey!” Diamond stuck her tongue out at me. “I just gave you that kilt!” “Yeah, and?” I giggled. “Hearth's Warming is totally a special occasion! It would be worth eating it if it convinced your uncle to come on over!” “You eat your kilt and I eat my ring.” Diamond growled as she slugged me in the shoulder. “You aren’t a goat!” “No she isn’t, but she’s definitely grabbing yours.” Silver snickered at Diamond before turning back to me. “I’ll talk to my uncle about and we’ll see.” “Yes!” I pumped a hoof. Just in time, too, as we’d made it to Silver’s uncle’s house. “Don’t worry about dressing up or anything. Grandma is super casual about her dinners.” I leapt off the ground with a flap of my wings and waved to them before flying off towards Grandma’s place. “See ya!” “Bye!” “Bye!” Gliding through the air, I barely flapped a wing as I hit each chimney thermal. “Scree-hee-hee~ Scree-hee-hee~ Scree-hee-hee-heehee~” The kitchen counters groaned from beneath the mountain of food Grandma had been cooking over the last few days. Stacks of sugar cookies, piles of pies, and batches of brownies sat between steaming dishes of cheesy casseroles and mashed potatoes, while gravy boats swam through a sea of cricket loaves and shepherd's pie. Candied yams and carrots bubbled merrily away with sticky white marshmallows, and three different soups simmered on the stove—the smell of not one, but two clam chowders making me lick my lips as I craned my head about. Next to the soups was an enormous bowl of salad with a basket of breadsticks and several bottles of dressing to go with it. Five different crockpots were jammed into a powerstrip grandma had plugged into the wall—two with stuffing, three with Granda’s famous cheesy potatoes. None of that mattered compared to the real prize, however. I could smell it as it sat in the oven—cooking in its own juices and covered in pineapple, sugar, and cinnamon. “Mmmm… ham….” It was hard to tell if Dad or I was drooling more. “Now, now, dearies. Your special dish will be done soon enough. Have something else while you wait.” Grandma giggled. “I made more than enough for a weeks worth of leftovers.” “But… ham?” Dad and I gave a squeaky whine as we each longingly held out a hoof towards the oven. “So rare…. So good…. So tasty….” “Wha’s ham Gamma?” Zephyr poked his head around me to stare at the oven with us. “Nothing you need to worry about, pumpkin.” Grandma hefted my cousin up to show him the rest of the food. “Your uncle and cousin like certain foods that other ponies find icky. You have all this other food to fill your tummy, though. Doesn’t it look delicious?” “Yuh-huh!” Zephyr nodded vigorously as he looked about before pausing to look back at the oven. “Wha’s ham?” “Oh, dear…” Grandma sighed. “Tempered, why don’t you take this?” “Ham…” Dad inhaled deeply, letting the savoury aroma fill his lungs. “…is the Nightmother’s gift to all good little fillies and colts.” “The Nightmommy?” Zephyr looked from me back to the dining room where Aunt Dewdrops was sitting. “How somepony be Night and Mommy?” Dad let out a rumbling chuckle. “No, little Zephyr. Princess Luna: the Nightmother, Maiden of the Moon, Ruler of Shadows, and She Who Gives Us the Stars.” “Huh?” My cousin scrunched his face. “Oooooooh! Lulu!” He puffed out his chest. “Lulu is best pwincess! She run all da monsters away!” He ran out for a minute or two only to run back in with a Princess Luna plushie. “See! Lulu!” “Well, at least you show more sense than your father.” Dad snorted. “Mhmm….” I idly continued to watch the oven. “Shhh… you two…. No need to bring that old fight up.” Grandma tutted as she picked up oven mitts. “Your uncle already admitted he was wrong.” “Not to her.” Both Dad and I growled. “Unca Temmy? Night?” Zephyr looked back and forth between us. “Don’t mind them, dearie. They’re just sore your father didn’t realize Lulu was best princess as fast as you did.” There was the hiss of steam and sin as Grandma opened the oven to pull the ham out, and all thoughts of Uncle Zephyr’s heresy fled my mind as the one true Hearth’s Warming dish came forth. “Now why don’t you go sit with your parents? We’re going to finally start eating soon.” “Yaaaaaay!” Zephyr zooped back into the dining room to sit between his parents. He alternated between staring at his loaded plate and looking back towards us, vibrating expectantly as Dad and I finished loading our plates to sit down. “Alright, everypony.” Grandma beamed at everypony as we sat. “Time’s wasting, so dig in before it gets cold!” Dad and I briefly bowed our heads to our delicious, slow-roasted prey. “May the Nightmother guard your eternal dreams—now and forever more.” “Psst!” Zephyr unwhispered. “Daddy! What’s Unca Temmy doin’?” “U-u-umm…” Uncle Zephyr cast his eyes back and forth. “…y-your uncle and Night are giving thanks to Princess Luna for their food.” “Why dun we do dat?” “T-they have a… ahhh…” He squirmed for a good fifteen seconds. “...a different kind of friendship with the princess.” “Huh.” Zephyr continued attacking his plate, blissfully unaware how much he was making his father sweat bullets as Dad grinned at them both like a loon under moon. “So wha’s ham?” “E-excuse me?!” The clattering of Uncle Zephyr’s fork to the floor was met with chuckles from the rest of the table. Diamond and Aunt Dewdrops in particular were giggling like mad. “Wha’s ham?” Zephyr pouted as he looked up. “Can I have some?” “It’s… umm… I… ahh…” Biting his lip, Uncle Zephyr looked to Mom and Dad for help. “Yeah, Zephy, can he have some?” Dad gave a rumbling laugh. “I’m alright with sharing.” Spearing his prey, he waved the golden-brown treasure temptingly before snapping it up. “Mmmm… ham….” “Shush, you. Don’t start.” Mom thwapped Dad with a wing. “Ham!” Zephyr reached out with sparkly eyes. “Pwease, Daddy?! I wan!” “Is it… safe for him to eat?” Aunt Dewdrops put a hoof on Zephyr’s back. “Safe?” There was a snort from down the table where Silver and her uncle sat. “It’s more than safe. Back in survival training, they used to teach us how to stomach the stuff in case we needed it.” The grizzled Silver Sword tapped his temple. “It’s all up here.” “I remember that.” Mom smiled wistfully. “While everypony else was tossing chunks at just the thought, Tempered went to town. I don’t think that’ll be much of a problem for Zephyr, though. He seems eager enough.” “I wan ham!” Zephyr pounded his hoof into the table with a giggle. “See?” Mom smiled. “Just start with a piece or two and move from there.” Scooping up some crickety goodness and burying it in mashed potatoes and gravy, Mom popped it into her mouth. “Mmmm….” “B-b-but—” The first word wasn’t even out before Uncle Zephyr melted under the weapons grade pout sent his way. “F-f-fine….” He slumped his shoulders and lowered his head. “I g-guess he can try some….” “Yay!” Wolfing down the rest of his plate, little Zephyr zooped into the kitchen again. “I better go make sure nothing bad happens.” Aunt Dewdrops patted the droopy pile of feathers beside her. “You just relax, dear. I’ve got it from here.” “Thank you….” The whimpering worrywart sighed, straightening up just enough to nuzzle his wife as she got up. “Gotta learn to say no, bro.” Dad grinned over the table as he took a bite of casserole. “Says the pot.” Mom snorted dipping her breadsticks in the minestrone as I slurped my clam chowder. “You’re hardly any better than that with our own little bundles of joy.” “I can say no if I really want to.” Dad rolled his eyes. “I just like spoiling my foals.” He grinned at me. “They’re too good not to.” Heat creeped up my neck as I tried to both puff out my chest and shrink in my seat. “Really?” “Of course!” The thunderous rumble of Dad’s laughter shook the room. “You’ve heard how much trouble me and Liquid got into as foals. You’re practically Luna’s Chosen next to us.” “Screep!” Suddenly shrinking into my chair was much more appealing. “So, Diamond!” Dad didn’t even have to lean around me to face her. “How did my little light in the night like her present? You make her feel like a princess?” “Not as much as I wanted to, but she at least took the kilt.” Diamond tittered as she idly poked at her salad. “Thank you for the suggestion.” “No problem at all.” Dad chuckled. “All I want is for my little star to be happy.” “Daaaaaaad!” My whine nearly cracked the glass holding my juice. I was ignored. “I do my best, sir.” Silver snorted but said nothing as she continued eating, and for a while, everypony else followed suit. The food was good, and nopony wanted it getting cold; we simply enjoyed each other’s company as we ate. There was the occasional joke—all met with a mix of groans and laughter—but conversation rarely lasted longer than half a minute with the siren song of food calling out to fill our stomachs. It was only when the sun had set and the night began that we all grabbed dessert and scattered conversation finally started to take hold. Mom and Dad brought out that applejack stuff Uncle Courage loved so much, and Uncle Zephyr turned white as Dad proposed a contest of some kind. Grandma—amazingly awesome as she was—took that as a sign to make the rest of us hot chocolate, leaving us to sip it in front of the fireplace as she snoozed on the couch. “Hey, Night.” Diamond shifted beneath her blanket as she pulled a marshmallow from the fire to make another cookie s’more. “You think you can take me out on that flight tonight?” “What flight?” I blinked a little too long, and my own marshmallow caught fire as I pulled it out. “You know, the one you promised the other day?” Diamond’s pout had my heart skip a couple beats. “You said you wanted me to see Canterlot at night.” “I don’t know….” I scratched the back of my head as I glanced at the twins snoozing under Grandma’s wings and smiled when Zephyr started running in his sleep atop her back. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to leave right now. I could probably scree at the top of my lungs and Grandma wouldn’t wake up.” “Come on, Night.” Adjusting her glasses, Silver looked up from her book. “Diamond only gushed about your first flight for hours after we got home the other day.” “I need to be here in case the twins wake up.” Rustling my wings as I tried to ignore the urge to scratch, I felt a black inferno crawling up my neck. “Besides, it’s kinda late. I don’t want to worry Mom and Dad.” “Sweet Celestia, you’re such a worrywart.” Silver tutted as she rolled her eyes. “You’re still freaking nocturnal, you dunce. I’m sure they’ll be fine with it.” “I guess….” My forehooves fiddled with the ground. “Look.” Silver stared into my soul with hawkish intensity. “Just go if you think they’ll say no. You’re a big filly, now.” She grimaced. “I’ll look after the little monsters.” “Go without permission?!” My voice cracked from how high I squeaked. Had she learned nothing in the Junior Guard?! The chain of command didn’t work like that! “Do I need to repeat myself?” Silver scoffed. “Look, are you going or not?” Glancing at the twins as they babbled in their sleep, she shivered. “I’ll even—” Gag. “—change their diapers if you want.” She pointed to Diamond. “Look at that face and tell me you can say no.” I looked over to find the biggest, most heart-stopping eyes I’d ever seen pierce straight down into my soul. “Pwease?” Diamond’s lower lip quivered as a single, perfect tear slid down her face. “Hrrrk!” I fell back, clutching my chest. “Have— Have you been holding out on us?” “Eeeyup.” Silver smirked. “The other crusaders don’t have anything on that.” “I— I—“ I made the mistake of looking back. “Fine…. But I’m still asking. I’ll—” I gulped. “I’ll sneak out with you if they say no.” “Which they won’t.” Silver snorted. “So hop to it. I only got so long until the bombs drop.” Slinking over to the dining room, I peeked inside to find all the adults rosy-cheeked and laughing. “Dad? Can… can I go out for a little late night flight with Diamond?” The laughter paused for a moment. “With Diamond, sport?” Dad looked to Mom for a moment, grinning. “Yeah… I kinda promised her one….” I squirmed so hard as everypony looked at me. “I— I promise I won’t drop her!” Dad chuckled as Mom nodded to him. “Of course you won’t. Go get her, tiger.” “Huh?” “Don’t worry about it!” He slapped the table with a laugh. “You’re not the one doing the hunting!” “Okay, then.” I slunk back to the others with my brow furrowed. “Parents are weird….” “Let me guess.” With a roll of her eyes, Silver snapped her book shut and got up. “They said yes without any kind of fuss.” “No! Well, yes.” I grinned sheepishly. “But they were really…” I couldn’t find the words. “…weird about it.” “It’s almost like they know something you don’t.” Silver’s face was so flat it could have been a stop sign. “You think?” My ear flicked as I tilted my head. “Only way to find out is to stop stalling and go on that flight.” “Hey! Hey! Hey!” I flailed as she pushed me towards the door. “I’m going! I’m going! Why is everypony being so weird about this?!” “Maybe you’re the one being weird about it, Night.” Diamond giggled as she trotted towards the door. “Is there another reason you don’t want to fly with me?” “No!” My response was so fast, I blinked. “No?” “Then let’s go!” Her smile was radiant as she grabbed my hoof and pulled me out the door. “Shouldn’t we get—” The door slammed shut. “—scarves?” I looked at Diamond who kept on smiling even as her teeth chattered and she started shivering. “Stay close.” Pulling her close with one wing, I cast my gaze for a good cloud to land on. It took a minute or two with the sky so clear, but once I had a target in my sights, I wrapped my hooves around her and leapt skywards. “Woah….” Both Diamond and I exhaled as we looked out on the city. The higher I climbed, the darker the city below became; all the details of the walls and buildings faded into a soft mishmash of greys like the sky above, and we swam through the endless night. Diamond’s heart thudded so hard I could feel it beating against my chest—my own heart beating just as hard as I pulled her closer for comfort. There was a swarm of stomach butterflies eating me up like a bunch of locusts, and my frogs started sweating so hard I was worried I might drop her. The words of Silver and my parents rang again in my head, and I scrunched my face as we cleared the cloud and I flipped over. “Maybe they do know something I don’t….” “What was that, Night?” Diamond looked back at me, ear flicking. “Hold on tight and try not to scream.” I grinned as I wrapped my wings around her and we fell onto the cloud below. “Eeep!” She squeaked, burying her face in my chest as gravity took hold. The fwump of the cloud shocked her right back to reality though, and when she looked up to see where we were, she hit me. “Night! That wasn’t funny!” “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It was hilarious.” I pulled out Dad’s dadliest of grins, hoping Diamond’s giggle would slow my speeding heart. “I wouldn’t quite call it that.” Diamond smirked at me for a moment before casting her gaze past me and over the cloudline at the city below. “It’s just as beautiful as you said it was.” “As beautiful as the sky above.” I kept my own eyes looking up. “You’d certainly be the expert on that, wouldn’t you?” Craning her head back, Diamond hummed. “You know, I never really bothered with stargazing before.” “Some of the best nights when I lived here were when Dad took a day off to go stargazing.” I closed my eyes and let out a few clicks to savour just how little sound came back. “Maybe you and I need to go stargazing then.” She shivered and I wrapped my wings tighter. “I‘d like that.” I could hear the smile in her voice, and it made mine grow. Lying there, I let the silence take us for a few minutes. Only when Diamond was shivering hard enough to let me hear the rattle of her teeth did I open my eyes to end the ride. “Alright, time to go.” “I don’t wanna….” “You’re going to freeze if I leave you up here any longer.” “I still don’t want to….” “Just hold on tight. We can always do this again next year.” “Promise?” She latched onto me tighter than I was expecting, driving most of the air right out of my lungs. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I smirked at the ensuing giggle as I raised my hind hoof to buck the cloud beneath us. Our descent was quiet as a flittermouse as I glided us in circles above the city, letting Diamond soak every last second in as the ground approached. By the time we reached the ground, even I was starting to shiver. “Thank you, Night. For everything.” Outside on the doorstep, I was hugged tighter than I was ever hugged before; my shivers vanished as Diamond squeezed the stuffing out of me, and when she leaned back to look at me, my face was suddenly hotter than the sun. “Do… do you know why the others were being so weird?” “I do.” “Does… does it have to do with something icky and contagious?” “It might.” “How… how do I get rid of it?” “Look up, and I’ll tell you.” She lifted my gaze upwards to show me a sprig of mistletoe that definitely hadn’t been in the doorway when we left. “You don’t.” I didn’t even have time to flinch before Diamond ambushed my lips, and both our heartbeats spiked as she pulled me close. I watched her, wide-eyed, as she melted into me—my wings rustling like mad. So much adrenaline was pumping through me, it felt like the world was exploding. Nightmother protect me; I had never had a nightmare that filled me with such sehnsucht. Pulling back far too soon, she watched me for the longest moment, but I couldn’t move, or speak, or even think. Diamond sighed, eyes downcast as she went to move past me and go inside—the quiver in her voice worse than a spear to the chest. “Merry Hearth’s Warming.” And I stood still and took it. I was left in the cold for what felt like hours, though the clocktower only said it was a couple of minutes. Then Silver stepped out to glower at me, and my blood ran even colder. “You have until the count of ten.” In an instant, I was gone and into the cold, lonely night; the north star my only guide as I fled into the cover of darkness.