//------------------------------// // Chapter 74** // Story: Pandemic: Picking up the Pieces // by Halira //------------------------------// Tonya sat and stared at her reflection. In a short time she'd be facing the Dreamwardens again and this time as the the accused. While it wasn't Phobia who would oversee her trial the fact that the pony that went by the title of Warden of Death didn't bode well at all. She had done wring, and judgement day was finally here. Ooh death Whooooah death Won't you spare me over ‘til a another year? Well what is this that I cant see With ice cold wings taking hold of me Well I am death, none can excel I'll open the door to heaven or hell Whoa death someone would pray Could you wait to call me another day The foals prayed, the preacher preached Time and mercy is out of your reach I'll fix your hooves so you can't walk I'll lock your jaw so you can't talk I'll close your eyes so you cant see This very hour come and go with me Death I come to take the soul Leave the body and leave it cold To drop the flesh up off the frame Dirt and worm both have a claim Ooh death Whooooah death Won't you spare me over ‘til a another year? My head is warm, my hooves are cold Death is moving upon my soul Oh death how you treating me You closed my eyes so I can't see Well you hurting my body, you make cold You run my life right out of my soul Oh death please consider my age Please don't take me at this stage My life shall forever please If you will move your icy wings Oh the young, the rich, or poor No wealth no land no silver or gold Nothing satisfies me but your soul Ooh death Whooooah death Won't you spare me over ‘til a another year? As she finished her song she looked up at the sun's light peaking through the overcast sky. It was such a grey day, and that felt appropriate. It was nearly noon, nearly her time of judgement. It was best that she go to town hall now. Even if Tattered Wing failed to hunt her down the Warden of Death would find her when she finally laid to sleep. There was no fleeing this. As she stood to her hooves with a sob she wiped her eyes with a wing. The time had come to go to town hall. She'd be brave; night ponies respected bravery, right? She wasn't sure if their respect would help at all, but it wouldn't hurt. With a few flaps of her wings she took to the air and on towards her possible final sleep. Rosetta was a bit miffed. She was giving her lover her most defiant glare and Phobia was pretty much ignoring it. "Rosetta, you know it's better if you meet up with my mom before she is sedated," Phobia said patiently. "It gives you a last opportunity before the trial to discuss your defense." "No, when I wake up I'm waking up next to you. I'm not going to have you wake up without me there to comfort you," Rosetta replied firmly. "If the Dreamwarden suggests that you..." Tempest tried to interject. Rosetta rounded on the broken horned unicorn. "This is none of your business. To make things clear, we are awake. What Phobia says while we're asleep might as well be absolute law, but when we're awake I make the calls on what goes on in this house. I'm not going to be leaving her side through this. You saw the state she was in when she woke up last night." "She seemed to calm down quick enough," Tempest said dryly. "Because I was there to comfort her and then find a way to get her focused on something else. Are you going to do that if I leave?" Rosetta demanded. "Well, I..." Tempest stammered. Rosetta got in the unicorn's face. "The correct answer is no! Because no pony is touching her other than me?" "Rosetta, are you jealous of having another mare in the house?" Phobia asked in confusion. "No," Rosetta replied quickly as she backed away from Tempest. Though if Tempest ever tried to make a move on you I'll break far more than her horn while she sleeps. She thought to herself. Maybe she was a little possessive, but she wasn't jealous. "I have absolutely no interest in Phobia Remedy, you stupid night pony," Tempest said with a growl. "You have something against night ponies, Equestrian?" Rosetta demanded. "No, I have something against ponies behaving like they don't have a brain in their heads," Tempest replied dryly. "You're lashing out at me because you don't want to vent your frustrations at your lover. Apparently you think lashing out at a cripple is less an issue than lashing out at a pony dealing with emotional trauma." "I never called you a cripple!" Rosetta yelled. "I'm sure you were thinking it!" Tempest fired back. "Can you two please stop," Phobia said in monotone. Rosetta immediately felt guilty as she looked at Phobia. Phobia's voice may have been devoid of emotion but her wings were outspread slightly and her ears were flattened. Phobia might still have a tendency to bottle up and hide her emotions, but her body language still told the tale of what was going on behind the emotionless tone. Phobia wasn't far off from having a panic attack. Phobia looked at Tempest. "Stop projecting your insecurities onto my fiancée." Phobia then turned to Rosetta. "And Tempest is right that you're unfairly targeting her. I know you're worried sick about me and since you have no outlet for the stress it's channeling into night pony aggression. You're inventing threats in your head to protect against. You're instincts are overriding your rational thought. Take a moment to step back and reign them back in." Rosetta grumbled as she stepped away from Tempest. Phobia was probably right about the whole night pony instinct thing. It didn't make her feel less hostile to Tempest knowing that it was unreasonable to be hostile to Tempest, but she could control her actions at least. "I'm still going to stay here with you, and you can't send me away," Rosetta insisted. Phobia sighed. "If you insist." Phobia might try to deny it, but today was going to take a heavy toll on her. Rosetta needed to be here if things went poorly for Tonya. As far as Rosetta understood it seemed very likely things would go poorly. This wasn't something that started as self defense and turned into a misguided crusade like Shadow Dancer. This ended with a murder. What Shadow Dancer did might be repaired, but what Tonya did could not. Rosetta didn't want to see the worst happen to Tonya, but she didn't see any outs for the pegasus. Her first priority was to Phobia's well being. "It's an hour till. Let's get to sleep so I can help prepare the shared dream," Phobia instructed. Rosetta nodded as she walked over to start securing the blinds. Melissa sat with Dan finishing up their lunch. Just like Dan she'd opted for a salad, so it was a light lunch. They'd been eating for a while. Part of the reason was she was feeding him by fork in between her own bites, but she didn't mind. Dan for his part put up no complaints about being fed. There was something he was doing that was annoying her a little though. "I'm just making sure there's nothing wrong. I was told to be on the lookout for anything odd or off," Dan said. Melissa rolled her eyes. "I told you, I'm fine. Stop worrying so much. Do you see me freaking out that I have fingers or toes? Do you see me freaking out that I don't have a tail or wings? I'm perfectly stable." "But there's signs it might be having impacts in your waking thinking," Dan insisted. "You're making a mountain out of a mole hill," Melissa said with a frown. "It was just one stray word. It's not that big a deal." Dan narrowed his eyes. "That word was anypony. You said you weren't going to let anypony else have me." "I was using pony pronouns galore when I was asleep. And it's mares I need to be on the watch for trying to catch your eye. If it's mares then isn't anypony the right word?" Melissa said calmly. "When you're in your dreams it is one thing because you're in pony form there, but we're awake right now. Humans typically wouldn't use that word, even in the context of ponies," Dan said firmly. Melissa stared at him. "Look at my eyes. I'm not completely human. I don't think that's a bad thing either." "Can you just tell me if the word came automatically or if you chose it," Dan pleaded. "I don't see why this should matter..." Dan touched a wing to her and spoke softly. "Maybe it doesn't, but we made a promise. If there is some more pony bleeding into your waking mind then maybe it won't hurt anything. We still have to tell her. You've endured enough hurt. I don't want you getting hurt anymore." Melissa frowned with worry. She didn't want the Dreamwarden to decide something was wrong and take this away from her. Why wouldn't Dan just let this go? "It came automatically," she finally said in a low voice. "That's not all. I wasn't lying when I said my body feels natural and doesn't freak me out. I'm not missing my wings or my tail. I look at ponies though and feel like one of you. I'm not feeling that when I look at humans. That sense of...kinship I guess you'd call it... isn't there." "And the rest of your instincts?" Dan questioned. Melissa shrugged. "I really don't know. I haven't been put in a position where protectiveness would be brought out. I don't feel extra social. I'm not bothered by daylight or feel any strong desire to stay up all night...well...aside from spending more time with you. I'm wearing clothes because I know I'm supposed to be wearing clothes. Thinking you look sexy kind of carried over, but not sure if that is instinct or bias." Dan sat down and was silent. Melissa sat back and watched him consider, hoping that he didn't get upset about this. She was perfectly fine. She knew something was slightly off when she woke up, but she remembered and adjusted. This was a good thing. "Dan," she said as she put a hand on his back. "At this point I had one hoof in the human world and one hoof in the pony world and I'm perfectly okay with that. My mind has been jerked back and forth between the two a lot on the past month. Let me straddle them if I want." "As a human you should be saying foot," Dan said as he gave her another long look. "I think your mind is doing more than straddling." She didn't reply to that. He wasn't wrong. Having her sense of self changed more than once let her be more aware of it. She'd be lying if she denied tlllher pony thoughts were influencing her greatly. It wasn't completely who she was, but it had gone from a small spec of who she was to a just as large as part of her as her humanity. "I'll tell the Dreamwarden about it, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it," Melissa insisted. "I'm perfectly happy. I like having my pony side back. My human side isn't gone either. Having them both fully there makes me feel whole. Like when I was a pony before and again right after I rehumanized something had been taken from me. I don't want to lose either part ever again." Dan let out a long breath. "I can't believe I'm siding with the humans, but I feel I have to. Your pony life was only a month of your life, with lots of instincts that were forced into you. It was also a miserable month for you that maybe you shouldn't want to cling to." Melissa shook her head. "It was also probably the definining moments of my life. Yeah, it was a smaller part of my life in terms of time spent in it, but in terms of how it impacted me it weighs just as heavily as everything that went before. I value who I was for that month, and rehumanization stole that from me. I'm not talking about body, I'm talking about the pony who experienced that month--replaced by someone who's memories of that time are like some weird dream. I have it all now, the human who was there before ETS and the pony that endured pain but let that pain reinforce her purpose. I'm not whole without both, and I didn't realize how much was missing till this morning." Dan looked uncomfortable. "That's great...I guess, but are you sure those two halves are compatible with one another?" Melissa narrowed her eyes. "You act like you don't want me to have my pony side. Why? I'd think that it would make you happy." Dan looked downward again. "I told you, I just don't want you hurting again. I'm just worried for you." "Well, I'll talk to Yinyu about..." Melissa paused and her eyes went wide. "I remember her name, all their names. I'm not supposed to remember them." Dan blinked. "They blocked them out for all the non-night ponies. So when Yinyu restored your night pony part of your mind...." "She inadvertently gave me the ability to remember their names," Melissa finished. Now she started to feel panic. "Oh no, she's going to strip my pony side from me again. She isn't going to let me get away with remembering their names. You have to keep this from her." "She will for sure if she thinks you're hiding things from her," Dan said in a harsh whisper. "You need to be honest and tell her when she comes to your dream tonight." "But..." "Are you seriously going to try withholding information from something as powerful as her?" Dan demanded. "If she thinks you're withholding information she might decide you're night pony enough she can torture it out of you. Or she might break your mind if she thinks you can't be trusted with night pony secrets." Melissa went wide-eyed. "She wouldn't..." Dan leaned forward. "You saw what they did to Tattered. You don't know what they did to Rudra. Don't think for a second they won't do the same or worse to you. You've got to be open and honest with her." She squinted at him. "What did they do to Rudra?" Rudra was a friend as well. Aside from Dan the Indian-born night pony doctor had spent more time with her than anypony, even Lavender. Dan flattened his ears. "You really don't want to know. It was bad though. Rudra tried to circumvent the Oaths. Sha'am tortured him till he said them right." She hadn't given her report yet, but she could report in confidence that the Dreamwardens were exceptionally cruel to night ponies and that night ponies lived in fear of them. Now that part of her identified with being a pony again that fear extended to her as well, though she wouldn't report that. She looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was a quarter after eeleven. She sighed as she stood up. "We'll talk more tonight when I get back. I've got to go relieve Tattered for the day," she said as she gathered up the empty salad bowls. "I'll be going to sleep soon," Dan said as he watched her. "I really think I should tell Yinyu about what's going on. I won't if you tell me not to, but the sooner she's told the more likely she is to consider this not a problem." Melissa sucked in her breath and considered yelling at him. Instead she just kept her gaze on the salad bowls as she answered. "Do what you think is best. I trust you. Just make sure she knows I don't want this taken away." Number Crunch looked at the clock on the wall. It was forty minutes till noon. She had intended on being next door already but had apparently lost track of time. She tapped out a few more things quickly. Final documents for the claiming of some of the properties that were abandoned by ponies that had gotten mortgages to be claimed by the bank and their market value--which was exceptionally low at the moment due to the sudden surplus of abandoned houses--to be applied against the balance if their new homes mortgages. Some of these properties would recover almost their full value eventually and could be flipped at a profit, others she would likely have to have bulldozed and the land put to other uses. In the end she was doing these ponies a favor and getting long term assets for the bank. Number gave Wild a quick glance. The earth pony was sitting in a corner trying to master use of writing utensils with the Pony Strap. The subject was some finance math problems that Number had given her. "It's about time for us to go," Number said calmly. "How's your work coming?" Wild sighed. "I'm not having much problem with math, math is essential to advanced chemistry and I focused on it hard in high school because I figured I needed it. Guess I turned out to be right about the math--if for completely different reasons, but relearning how to write is a pain in the flank. I'm getting better at it. Just don't grade me on my penmanship at the moment." "Aside from signatures I doubt you'll be needing to do too much hoofwriting in the future. Most things will be on computers or taken care of by assistants. It's still a good idea to show you can write legibly for the sake of showing off the Pony Strap though," Number replied. Wild stood up and carefully removed the pen from the strap and deposited it back into her saddlebag. She then turned back to Number. "You're sure you're okay with me seeing this? If it turns out to be bad I can't unsee it." "It was self defense," Number asserted again. "You don't remember what actually happened, so you can't know that." "I just know. I can feel it." Wild gave her a doubtful look, but didn't press the issue any further. "Come on," Number instructed. "Time to go get ourselves knocked out and settle once and for all what happened that night." Sha'am Maut looked out her balcony at the evening sky. Her grandson with a pair of greats attached to the title had just gone to bed and several of her retainers had arrived not long ago. The time was almost upon her where she needed to sleep, but she could spare a few minutes more. She'd lived in this house her entire life, going all the way back to the British Raj when this house had been owned by the imperialists. So much had changed in Delhi over the course of her life. The view from her balcony bore no resemblance to the view she had when she was a child, young woman, or even when she first became a grandmother or great grandmother. Developers had tried to take this place from her for years. In a few more years it would be gone with her passing. Most thought she would be eager to see this place gone with all the heartbreak she had endured here over the years, and they didn't know why she clutched onto so firmly. It was here during the second world war that she had watched helplessly as two of her children starved to death as the British took all their food so soldiers half a world away could eat while young and old alike died of hunger in the streets. The idea of an empty bowl was forever associated with death in her mind after that. She had cried for months when yet another one of her children was taken from her during the violence of the partition. Her last remaining child, her youngest daughter, died in this very house giving birth to her grandson. Her grandson had died her too, young at only thirty years old to cancer, leaving a son behind. She grit her teeth as she thought of her great grandson. He had turned in her and his own son when they became ill. He had left her for dead here and kept the doctors away as he and his friends sat around the house planning who to sell it to. She was locked in her room, stuck in bed, and she had been alone. He had done the ultimate betrayal. At least he had until he had tried to raise his hand to beat his own son. She had risen from her deathbed with strength that she had not known in years, fresh off from recovering from the flu. She'd showed him how scary his elder could be when she had beaten him with a stick until he had fled, leaving her with her sick great great grandson. She'd been cut off from the world and unaware of what this particular you meant at the time, but a week later she understood. A week later was the beginning of her rebirth and her coming to understand her purpose. She had feared dying alone, and she would make sure that everypony she could do so for would not die alone. She was the Warden of Death, and while death might not be merciful, in those final moments there could be a moment of kindness. It was time to sleep. She shut her eyes and slowed her breathing. At her age each time she shut her eyes might be her last, but falling asleep was a very simple task. She emerged in the dreamscape and quickly was surrounded by her fellow Dreamwardens. It took her only a brief second to tell that they had already prepared the shared dream for today's trial. "Is there any danger of Luna showing up in the dreamscape?" She asked. Psychic Calm shook his head. "I have confirmed she is in Equestria at the moment. The idea that she could show up in that short amount of time and go to sleep is highly improbable. She will not be aware of what we're going to set in motion." "Before we begin this are we all agreed to the plan?" She asked them collectively. Phobia grimaced. "You know how I feel about this, Sha'am." Sha'am raised an eyebrow. "Your feelings have been noted, but you understand the necessity of our ploy. This is an excellent opportunity to begin settling out debt. The earlier we begin on this endeavor the more likely it is to succeed." "It's highly manipulative, and it's manipulating those close to me," Phobia said through gritted teeth. "I'll go along with your plan Sha'am, but I don't have to like it." "You haven't leaked any of what we intend have you?" Sha'am questioned the youngest of their number. "I have given no hints to anypony," Phobia said with a sigh. "Rosetta doesn't even know what we're plotting. You don't need to worry that any of them suspect that we have any plans beyond conducting a trial." "Good, if they suspect anything it could ruin the entire ruse. This is a risky gambit, but it's worth the risk," Sha'am replied. "This subverts justice for an alternative agenda, I don't like it," Ghadab snarled. Sha'am raised an eyebrow at him. "You're opinion is noted. Thankfully for the rest of us we can easily predict how you will vote and adjust accordingly if you decide to try to throw a wrench in it, brother." "I'm more concerned about what happens if your ploy fails," Phobia said with an angry flick of her tail. "These are the lives of those closest to me that will suffer for it. If your ploy fails my best friend could pay with her life." "Then let's hope it does not," Sha'am said simply. "But if there are no further objections let's begin pulling the night ponies into the dream. We have a performance to put on."