I woke up the following morning in the same kind of mood that I did every Saturday morning, frustrated. I knew that when I got downstairs that Lyra would be waiting there impatiently for me to fix us breakfast. Now yeah, I didn't mind doing it but one small part of me wished that she would simply settle for a bowl of cereal or that I would get off my flank and teach her how to cook. Like it had been for quite sometime though, weekend mornings in general weren't exactly the time I was most focused.
When I arrived in the kitchen, sure enough, Lyra was there with the same smile on her face that she always had.
"So sis, what's for breakfast this morning?"
"Same thing as always, bacon, eggs and oats."
One thing I had noticed was that as time progressed, she had been paying more and more attention to my eyes and facial expressions. I knew that she likely did this out of concern but it was starting to irk me some. After many weekends of her staring at my facial expressions, she finally spoke up, "You ok sis? You look a bit sad."
"Yeah I'm ok, I'm good."
Throughout my whole life, I have been good at hiding my emotions and masking them but I think that Lyra has lived with me long enough that I could no longer hide it from her. "You sure about that sis? I know how you are, I know you think it is a liability to show emotion but I can see it in your eyes. I can see that something is wrong."
That was the moment that I finally decided to be honest with her and open up. "Lyra, I'm going to admit, I am feeling depressed. I am successful beyond my wildest dreams and I should be anything but depressed but I am."
I could tell that Lyra was in a state of shock when she heard me admit this. I am pretty sure that she was thinking that I was merely sad but when I stated I was depressed, I could see the concern build up in her eyes. I was really hoping she would just let me get away with that but I knew she wouldn't.
"Sis, why are you depressed? You have accomplished everything you've wanted ever since you were a filly and then some!"
"Ok, I'm going to admit it, I'm lonely! I see what good friends you are with Bon Bon and I wish I had a friend like that."
I am guessing that was something that my sister never once imagined she would hear from me because she went as far as to do something that I had warned her on many occasions not to do. She knows how much I like my personal space but she embraced me. Yep she embraced me and for the first time in ages, I did not shy back, I allowed it.
"Really sis, you're lonely?" Her tone became more sympathetic as she continued, "I'm sorry. I really wish...." She stopped in mid-sentence and continued, "I've got it. We could take a sisters' trip to the market! I'm sure you could meet some ponies there!"
That was something that I really wish she had not brought up. I was already in a less than stellar emotional state but the very thought of going out and actually meeting ponies terrifies me. I know it sounds silly given that I work with the pubic and do get along with a majority of my patients. Thing is though, there is a huge difference between dealing with ponies as their dentist and just simply mingling out in the market.
"G-go out and mi-mingle?" I asked, "But you know how paranoid I get in social situations."
"Sis, we'll go together and if you get to where you freeze up, I'll be there for you."
"Alright, let's get going."
I knew that Lyra had good intentions and truly wanted to help me make a friend but I still went into this with dread. I couldn't help but wonder "What if nopony likes me? What if ponies see me freak out in a social situation and decide to go to another dentist?" I will admit, I really wished that I hadn't brought this up to Lyra. Yes I wished that I had a good friend but doing what it took to actually make a friend seemed more terrifying than the loneliness did.