It wasn’t every day the Primary Team was called to deal with a smuggling operation within Merodi Universalis space. They were usually the team who dealt with other universe’s smuggling problems.
It was even more unusual considering the smuggling operation was taking place in Celestia City, where the League of Sweetie Belles were readily available to solve anything.
So why had they been sent?
It all had to do with the fact that the ringleader of the whole operation was a version of Pinkie Pie who’d been several steps ahead of all prior attempts to stop her. Snuggle Pie she called herself, finding it amusing to have a name so close to Smuggle Pie that she could use in the open without drawing attention.
Naturally, you had to fight pink party ponies with pink party ponies.
“SQUEAKY HAMMER CANCELLATION TECHNIQUE!” Pinkie shouted, giggling as she brought the squeaky hammer down on Snuggle.
Snuggle rolled her eyes and giggled as well – her only unique feature being a cutie mark of a box wrapped in chains rather than balloons. “I’ll meet you there!” She used her own identical squeaky hammer to meet Pinkie’s, the two smashing against each other in an immensely annoying cacophony of SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!
Snuggle knew she’d lost the moment the squeaky hammers met, but who cared, really? This was not only her moment in the spotlight, it was also freaking fun!
“I know, right?” Pinkie yelled over the squeaks.
“Snuggle Pie, villain of the moment!” Snuggle shouted, chuckling. “Nice plan by the way! I can’t resist the squeak!”
“Do I know me or do I know me?”
“SHIPMENT SECURED!” Nova shouted.
“LACKEYS DISPATCHED!” Vriska added.
“No collateral damage,” Flutterfree added, too quiet to be heard.
“THAT MEANS YOU CAN STOP NOW!” Nova shouted at Pinkie.
“But Novaaaa!” Pinkie whined. “We’re having fun!”
“Yeah, let us go just a little bit longer!” Snuggle added.
“Yare yare daze…” Jotaro muttered. He had Star Platinum grab both their respective heads, forcing them to stop swinging the squeaky hammers.
“Ptooey, you’re no f-”
Star Platinum beaned Snuggle in between the eyes with the intent of knocking her out. She just depressed like she was made of foam.
Pinkie rolled her eyes, producing a licorice lasso out of nowhere and tying Snuggle up in it. “There. She won’t be getting out of that.”
“MY ONLY WEAKNESS! Sugary goodness!”
“From other Pinkies,” Pinkie said, smirking. She put a smiley-face sticker on Snuggle’s forehead. “Turn that in for a free prison party if you ever don’t want to make one yourself!”
“Thank you!”
The two giggled.
Flutterfree rolled her eyes. “Allure will want to talk to you personally.”
“Oh, did she actually ask for you?”
“No,” Nova admitted.
“I knew it. This is going to be a bruise on her pride.”
“She’ll be a lot happier to see you in chains,” Pinkie pointed out. “I mean… you’ve been messing with her a lot.”
“She’s so susceptible! Just a little stray note in Minna’s room and she flips the hell out!”
“I wonder why,” Vriska muttered while Jotaro slapped the snuggler with Star Platinum.
Nova pulled out her phone. “Yeah, Allure? Got them all. Seventeenth street, level 8, sector Avocado. Got her and all the lackeys. Unless something absolutely absurd happens in the next five minut-”
A mass of glowing white tendrils erupted in the middle of the smuggler’s warehouse. A single, muscular man stepped out, wearing very little in the way of clothing – the bracelets, boots, and loincloth he was wearing were a dark shade of purple. He had a truly impressive head of hair that rippled and shifted as he moved.
He struck a dramatic pose, a clear indication he came from a version of Earth Stand.
Jotaro’s eyes widened. “…Kars!?”
“Joseph’s descendant recognizes me… good,” Kars decided.
The Primary Team stood as one, analyzing Kars for the best takedown method.
He held up a small device and flashed them all with a blue light. “Congratulations, you’re all part of the Collection now. Current orders from the Collector are to do whatever I say. Jotaro… Stay still.”
Jotaro stayed still. Kars produced a jagged knife out of his arm and punctured Jotaro’s stomach with it. Jotaro remained standing, blood trickling out of the wound.
Kars folded his arms. “If only I could go further…” he said, bitterly.
“Try this on for size,” Vriska said, skewering his head with her sword. She proceeded to roll her dice, summoning nineteen blue spears to skewer Kars from all sides.
He moved his body around all the blades as if his muscles were liquid. “You’re a powerful enough psychic to resist the basic conditioner I see.” He grabbed her and drove her into the ground. She looked up at him, beginning the luck drain.
He drove his arm-knife into her eye and into her brain. This was enough to trigger a death – though Kars knew it wouldn’t be permanent. He snapped his fingers, ordering the other four to line up.
He touched his head, causing a unicorn horn to come out of it. The horn lit with a deep purple aura, the magic within him able to tear a portal through universes. He hoisted Vriska up. “Let’s go.”
Allure appeared in a flash of white light. “More help is on the way, I just got here as soon as I c-”
Kars held up the device and flashed her with the blueness. “Move,” he ordered. She did.
The Primary Team and Allure were gone within the next ten seconds, leaving the tied-up Snuggle and a bunch of beat up lackeys alone in the warehouse.
Snuggle groaned. “Ugh, how long until the cops take us to jail? I’m bored already!”
~~~
The world where the various nations of the local multiverse met to discuss the Collector was still known as the Golden Joke. Up until an hour ago, the Golden Joke had only been sparsely populated by a few individuals working on some crazy ideas. The majority of people had been waiting for Starbeat’s hummingbird drive sensors to pick up any Collector activity in their space.
To say they had picked up some activity would be an understatement. Celestia City was one of the most advanced constructions any of the main powers knew about, and it was riddled with ka sensors that collected data, even if nobody understood what all the data they were collecting was. They had detailed scans of the Primary Team’s encounter with Kars, and their capture. It was more than enough.
And that knowledge was enough to fill Golden Joke’s main meeting hall. Valentine, Froppy, Johnny’s team, Jenny, YVND, the Grand Secretariat, members of the Sparkle Census Council that almost never left the Census, Eve, O’Neill, Toph, Corona, most the Merodi Overheads, and even Hastur had arrived. Hastur was notably there for purely personal reasons, since the Embodiment would never care about such things.
Starbeat walked up to the main podium and cleared her throat. “The good news is we have more than enough of a ka signature to find the Collector and his Collection since the Primary Team was captured in such a convenient location.”
She paused for a moment, allowing that to sink in.
“The bad news is that the previous sentence needs an eventually tacked onto the end of it.” She pressed a button, bringing up a holographic display of the multiverse behind her, zoomed in on the edge of the Q-Sphere, where most of Merodi, Sparkle Census, and University space was. “This is the area of the multiverse we have heavily documented – most connections are known, and the most efficient ways to move from universe to universe are charted. This universe here,” she gestured to a softly glowing red dot, “is where Celestia City is. We were able to follow the ka signature for twelve whole universes before we ran into a problem.”
She let a simple animation play out – the red dot connected itself to another dot, turning it red as well, the connection between glowing brightly. The string went out twelve universes before it hit a dot at the edge of well-documented space. “We do not know the next universe in the path to the Collector. We currently have the ka signature interfaced with a hyper-grinder device, but it is expected to take hours to find the next universe. And hours to find the next. On and on and on. I don’t know about any of you, but I think the Collector not only has the power to string together hundreds of universes in a complex maze to his world, but that he’s paranoid enough to do so.”
She grimaced. “I know we’d rather not wait days – or even weeks – to get everyone back. The Collector attacked us brazenly, out in the open, knowing we’d get this information. He’s counting on us taking this long for whatever plan he has. So we need to find a way to get there faster. The way I see it, there are two options.” She lit her horn, banishing the display.
“The first option is to find a map of the area of space the Collector is hiding in. This seems unlikely, since the TSAB has little to no clue about the Collector, and they’re near the top of the multiversal food chain. He’s hiding himself very well.
“The second option is to find a way to use our ka signature to find him more effectively. We do not have time to start bigger research projects on it – we’d need to search for help. This also seems unlikely since none of our acquaintances make extensive use of ka.”
“So what the heck do we do then?” Jenny blurted.
“That’s what we need to find out,” Starbeat told her. “I’ve just given you all I know about the situation. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to the grinder to see if my presence can do anything to speed up the process.”
She jumped off the stage, walking away.
The crowd erupted into loud discussion among themselves.
“Right,” Eve said, turning to those she could tell what to do. “We need to spread our feelers out. Someone go contact any travelers we have to see if they know about a race that can manipulate ka.”
“I’ll talk with Sunny,” Renee offered. “Though I’m not sure she’ll have much to offer.”
“Good. I’ll go get Rev myself, she seems to know a bit more about ka than the rest of us.”
“I’ll go to Nanoha,” Corona said. “If she’s available.”
“Yes. O’Neill? Think you can get anyone from the Race of Yith to assist?”
“I’ll try.”
Go ask Giorno for information as well, she told him telepathically. He nodded and ran off.
Eve spread her wings and took to the sky. “Everyone, give this your all – the Collector is making his move and we can’t let him have whatever it is he wants!” With a flash of her horn, she was gone.
She was going to find her friends.
She was going to save her friends.
~~~
“Pinkie and Pals should get kidnapped more often,” Alushy told a bartender as she downed a shot of whiskey.
The bartender was a Bismuth Gem well-known for never bothering to eat anything. “Oh?”
Alushy gestured outside at all the screens proclaiming the news in the outside hall of the Hub. There was a small crowd of citizens huddling close together, staring at the screens, hoping for more news on the situation. “It does that.”
“Brings people together?”
“If you’re a normal, optimistic person,” Alushy laughed bitterly. “But lucky for everyone in existence, I’m none of those things! Even the ‘person’ part is debatable. Heh.” She adjusted her red-tinted glasses and smirked. “I’m talking about the barely constrained panic. I can smell it in the air – it’s like a drug. These people are so used to hearing stories about the heroes, stories that bring little bits of light into their lives. They’ve become too connected. So much that when their heroes are threatened they feel like their own lives are on the brink!” She laughed, downing another shot. “And that produces the sweet delicious taste of panic. Something I don’t feel here that often…”
“If they got captured more often wouldn’t people become desensitized to it?”
Alushy blinked. “You’re the bartender, you don’t get to have good points.”
She slid Alushy the bill and raised an eyebrow.
Alushy grunted, flashing her card for the Gem to scan. “Fine, I’ll fuck off, I can tell when I’m not wanted. By the way, you really shouldn’t check your bathroom. There was an accident when I went in there.”
She left the establishment by wing, flapping over the panicked crowds, enjoying their cries of alarm. She felt the inner urge to jump down and munch on them – but she hadn’t given in to such primal urges in decades.
…At least not among ‘friends’.
Despite the commotion, her excellent ears could still pick up the sounds of Bismuth’s panicked screams from the bar.
She was going to be so pissed when she realized all the blood and body parts were just Alushy’s. The vampire pegasus chuckled to herself. “Ah, it’s good to be me! And, if I do say so, I think I feel a song coming on about how great I am!”
She cleared her throat, her deep voice ringing through the hub.
“Woooooah-
You better have your party in hell tonight,
Because you just invited the lord of fright,
A version of kindness so much a-”
Alushy stopped short, the music screeching to a halt as something caught her eye and tugged at her cold, dead heart.
A girl of maybe seven in a simple black dress. Her skin was white, as was her hair, while her eyes were a pale violet. She stood in front of one of the large screens displaying the video of the Primary Team being taken away. She had her hand on the surface, trembling.
It was a rare day when Alushy felt so moved by something she saw. She wasn’t completely without empathy or care – after all, she wasn’t just Alucard, but also Fluttershy – however, the moments when something struck her dumb and shoved all thoughts out of her mind?
A dozen, maybe, over her entire immortal lifespan.
Those moments never had any rhyme or reason. One time it had been the sight of a dog slowly dying from hunger. One time it had been the stars twinkling all around her on a moonless night in the wilderness.
…One time it had been a blue-maned mare caught in between Alushy’s gun and its target.
She hadn’t thought about DJ-girl in forever.
Alushy approached the little girl, standing next to her. “Sup.”
“You’re the red shadow that kills hundreds of people for us because nobody else is willing to do it,” she deadpanned, not taking her eyes off the screen.
“Yep. That’s me. Murder-bitch.”
“Mom says you’re not supposed to use that word.”
“Do I look like I give a fudge?”
The child blinked, the presence of an unexpected word making her turn her head to look at Alushy. She had no response for the vampire pony.
Alushy smirked. “Wanna see something cool?”
“No,” she said, turning away.
“Well what do you want?”
“I want Mom,” she said, putting a hand on the screen, knowing exactly when and where Allure would appear on the video. “I want her back…”
“Oh shit, you’re Allure’s daughter,” Alushy said. After a moment, she chuckled. “She’s going to try to kill me for this.”
“Try?”
“You can’t kill the great Alushy.”
Minna blinked. “Mom could.”
“Your mom’s not invincible, kid. One stray shot she’s not expecting a-”
Minna kicked Alushy in the face.
Alushy stared at her in disbelief. “Do you have any sort of fear response?”
Minna blinked. “…What’s that?”
“Being scared of things that can hurt you?”
“…Oh, that feeling. I remember that feeling. I think.” She put her hand to her mouth. “...Can you get Mom back?”
Alushy shrugged. “Not any faster than the entire government.”
“Mom told me you would do things nobody else would do. That’s why you’re allowed to stay. She didn’t seem too happy about that.”
“Kid, the number of ponies who like me are few and far between. Just the way I like it.”
Minna was ignoring her. “You can find this Kars guy and tear his head off for me!”
“While that does sound like an interesting prospect, you’re forgetting one important detail. I have no idea where he is.”
“Prospect?”
“I’m not your dictionary.”
“Well Mom won’t let me have a phone, so I can’t look it up. That means you need to be my dictionary.”
“I’m not.”
“Dictionary or mount.”
“Wha-”
Minna hoisted herself onto Alushy’s back and tapped her neck. “Away! To Mom!”
“…Kid, nine out of ten people who sit on me get eviscerated.”
“Eviscerated?”
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-” Alushy took in a deep breath. “Why do I do this to myself…?”
“You’re not. I’m telling you. Go go go!”
Alushy almost tore the kid off her back and flew away without another word.
Almost.
But this kid was just so bold. She couldn’t not like her.
“Right, I’ve got a place in mind that might help you. But there is a price for riding Alushy all little girls must pay.”
“What’s that?”
“I get to show you how to have some fun in this town. First, you’re seven, right? It’s time you learned what a bar was.”
“A round long stick?”
“BWAAAAP!” Alushy blurted. “Hell no, it’s a place people go to drink strange liquids until they’re stupid enough to… Well do anything besides drink more strange liquids.”
“I got you to be a dictionary!”
Alushy twitched. “Prune juice for you.”
“What’s prun-”
Alushy shut her up by pulling off a barrel roll in midair. Alushy had expected to frighten the girl – but she laughed in delight at the motion. There wasn’t a single sign of nausea.
“You’re an odd duck, you know that?”
“I’m not a bird!”
“No. No you definitely are not. How did I not see this before?” Alushy made a mock gasp.
“How dumb a- Oh you’re just messing with me!”
“Good ears. Hold on, we’re going to get some free space here and I’ve never done a loop with someone on my back before.”
“…Sweet.”
“You seem to have gone from depressed to excited rather quickly.”
“Mom says I have ‘emotional issues’ from ‘past trauma’. ...I think.”
“I can relate.”
“Hm?”
“One doesn’t become a vampire without dying first,” Alushy said. Minna’s follow up was cut off when the vampire pony pulled up into a huge loop. The mysterious girl laughed, for a moment forgetting everything that was happening around her.
~~~
“-nd then I am going to FUCKING MURDER you by tearing one of those BLUE SPIKES right out of your head and GOUGING YO-”
“Stop talking,” the Collector ordered Vriska, a hand to his forehead. He sat behind the desk in his office, Lightning to his side. In front of them were the six new recruits – the Primary Team of Merodi Universalis and Allure. The ‘sixth ranger’ that had shown up because fate demanded it, apparently.
Vriska gave the Collector the finger.
“At least that’s quieter,” the Collector said, folding his arms and examining the six with his red eyes. “At this point I would normally describe my power over you, but you already know all about it.”
“You could go through it again for the sake of a recap!” Pinkie suggested.
“I’d rather not delve into your complete submission to me while still retaining your personalities throu-” the Collector paused. “Lightning?”
“Yes?”
“I need another trip to the purging banks for the expositionitis.”
“You don’t need to ask me permission.”
“I know. I think it’s still affecting me.”
“The horror,” Nova deadpanned. “Can you just let the six of us fight you to the death or something, cut to the end?”
“Oooh, she’s trying to make plot predictions!” Pinkie clapped her hooves. “Good try, Nova!”
“Oh, so that’s not what happens?”
“Dunno. Wouldn’t be my first guess though.”
The Collector pointed at Flutterfree. “Ahem. Yes, I can see Lolo. No, I don’t have a Stand – too unpredictable, sometimes detrimental. Also, stop trying to ‘reveal’ something about me.”
Flutterfree sighed, recalling Lolo.
The Collector folded his hands. “So here’s how this is going to go. You are going to go out and mingle with the Collection for a while, see the place I’ve built here. You’ll be allowed to go anywhere within the Collection and do anything besides start killing each other and a handful of other rules you’ll find your own minds preventing you from breaking the moment you consider it. After a while you will be called to perform a mission – you’ll be given less time than most, since you’re already used to working as a unit. Not to mention the fact this isn’t very jarring for you.”
Jotaro let out a sharp grunt.
“I promise, you’ll grow to see that I’m not the purely evil entity you want to think I am. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask Lightning. Lightning, care to take these six to the plaza?”
Lightning nodded, standing up. She gestured for the six of them to follow. Even though they didn’t feel compelled to do so, they figured they might as well do it before the Collector ordered them. As they left through the office’s main doors, Vriska never stopped showing the Collector the finger.
The other side of the door was a round, gray room with no other doors. Lightning waved a hand. All the occupants felt the entire room shift somewhere else, opening up the doors to a new location.
The Collection Plaza.
Nova found it hard to conceptualize the size of the Plaza. She wanted to think of it like a cavern, but not even volcanic tubes got this large. She tried to think of it as a city, but not even Celestia City covered this much surface area – not even close. The entire City could fit within the cavernous space of the Plaza! However, the expanse wasn’t planet sized, or even moon sized… Perhaps the size of a small country was best?
Whatever it was, it was big, and mostly hollow. The ‘walls’ of the Plaza were lined with what couldn’t quite be described as individual buildings, but also weren’t wholly one item. Numerous white disc-shaped protrusions came out of all the cavern walls, all parallel with each other, more densely packed on the top and bottom areas. These discs were lined with large windows, the majority of which were blue, though other more exotic colors could be seen all around. Many objects were placed on the surfaces of the discs that weren’t affixed to other discs. They could see statues, fountains, magical glows, television screens, and even a rollercoaster snaking between several discs.
Beings of all shapes and sizes lived here – mostly human, but they spotted a few ponies trotting around alongside giants, dragons, angels, eldritch things sealed away in dark cloaks to protect the others of the Collection, mobile plants, beings of pure energy, and even a green featureless cube that moved seemingly without propulsion.
In the air, they saw ships of every design they could imagine. Some were familiar – Earth Starfleet being the most standout and most common of the designs – while others were completely alien constructs that sometimes weren’t even made of matter. These ships came and left regularly, taking members of the Collection to many places for their various missions.
“Welcome to the plaza,” Lightning said, a surprising inflection of enjoyment in her voice. “This is just the central section of the Collection. The actual structure goes a mile or two into the walls here, though almost all the living space is on this inner surface.”
“And beyond that?” Allure asked.
“Nothing. This is an empty universe devoid of matter or energy of its own,” Lightning answered. “The Collection is the only structure here.” She turned to them, her one-eyed glare putting them on edge, despite the presence of a soft smile on her lips. “There is no money here, so don’t worry about any of the others taking advantage of you. Every dish you can imagine is available at every eating location, or ordered to your personal rooms. You can take any ship from the docks that isn’t in use and fly it around – there are a series of tracks below us they can be raced in, should you be interested in that. Every song and story to ever exist that we’re aware of is in the database, and we have holodecks that can recreate them for you in several locations. Chances are some of your favorite characters from fiction have been Collected as well, so you can look them up.”
“Wow. This is actually impressive,” Flutterfree said.
“We have the resources to give the Collection almost everything they could ever want,” Lightning said. “Why not do so?”
“Because you’re evil bastards?” Vriska suggested.
Lightning shook her head. “Believe that if you want. It makes no difference to us. I’d just suggest you make the most of what you have here.”
Allure twitched. “Make the most? MAKE THE MOST? We have families back home!”
“You can put in a request to have your families collected as well,” Lightning said. “Those requests are almost always granted. Very rarely are those requests filled out, though.”
“…Because they’d be subject to the same fate as us,” Nova said, glaring. “Give them everything they want, but freedom?”
Lightning nodded. “In exchange for your freedom and services, you want for nothing.”
Jotaro saw a bunch of kids playing and laughing in what appeared to be a playground, a large lizard watching over them.
“School?” he asked.
Lightning nodded. “They’re actually being taught right now by mental insertion. As they play, they gain understanding about mathematics. And in some cases, combat training. They will make good agents one day.”
“Is everyone here an agent?” Allure asked.
“The only ones who aren’t are family members who were taken, people deemed unfit for duty, or children whose parents don’t believe they are ready.”
The six of them fell silent, unsure of what to ask next.
“Use the pink hexagons to teleport wherever you want. Just step on and think of what you want. It’ll take you to your room if you want. You all have adjoining ones, don’t worry.”
“Than-” Flutterfree caught herself, stopping the word mid-sentence.
Lightning nodded to her with understanding. She walked to the teleporter and vanished.
Vriska cracked her knuckles. “Well, I’m thinking about completely trashing this place and nothing’s telling me to stop. Who wants to join me?”
“Vriska,” Flutterfree called. “Maybe we should-”
“ALL THE LUCK!” Vriska blurted, glancing at dozens of different individuals. “No one is going to be able to hit me… Big guy, let’s go.”
Jotaro nodded.
“You too?” Flutterfree called.
“We need to blow off steam,” Nova said, joining up with the other two. “Not like we can go anywhere just yet.”
Pinkie waved at them. “Be back in time for dinner!”
“When’s dinner?”
“When the pie hits your face at mach 5.”
“Ah. Don’t know what I was expecting.”
Flutterfree turned to Pinkie. “Should we really just let them go?”
Pinkie nodded. “We need to mingle as well, just not as violently. Isn’t that right, Allure?”
Allure sighed. “Minna is going to be so worried about me…”
“She’s a strong girl. She’ll be fine,” Flutterfree encouraged.
“Yeah! She’s totally great right now!” Pinkie assured Allure.
Allure looked at Pinkie. “…Is she doing something I wouldn’t approve of?”
“Of course!”
“…Ponyfeathers.”
~~~
“You’re lucky you caught me on a lazy day,” Nanoha told Corona as they walked through one of the TSAB’s many boring metallic hallways lit by blue lights. “Just got back from an expedition to the Unrealities. Always fun.”
“How so?” Corona asked.
“You can hear the direction of egg fun.”
Corona blinked.
“The measures you have to go through to ensure survival in those exotic variations of physics cause... weird things.”
“And here I am thinking the idea of a ‘reality anchor’ is cutting edge.”
“You’ll find that simply anchoring reality won’t always help. Sure, you’ll exist as a three-dimensional being with magical power in the eldritch location, but the fact that you can see the eldritch location will fry your brain. …To name an example you might have experience with.”
Corona put a hand to the bridge of her nose. “Oh boy…”
“Oh boy indeed. So, what did you call me up for?”
“The Collector. We’ve got a major lead.”
“The ka sensors worked, I take it?”
Corona nodded. “Yep. We’ve got a strong signal and everything. Minor problem though. It’s taking us hours at a time to move from universe to universe. We were wondering if you had a map of the area we’re digging through.”
Nanoha held out Raising Heart, closing her eyes. “Display.” A red hologram shot out, displaying the entire multiverse. “Synchronize with most up-to-date probe data.” The multiverse shifted slightly, a few large chunks completely vanishing from the map – the largest taking a significant bite out of the Q-Sphere.
“What’s that?”
“The Beyonders. They block all incoming mapping probes, no matter who sends them,” Nanoha commented. “The maps that show what’s inside Beyonder territory is mostly just guesswork based on multiversal patterns. There’s really just a hole there they don’t let anything through.”
“Yeesh. Xenophobic much?”
“Very. But they aren’t anywhere close to your universes. Or the Starcross Society – that smaller hole up there.”
“The fact we can see the hole when zoomed out all the way tells me they’ve got a lot of hidden universes there.”
Nanoha nodded. “But what we’re looking at is…” She zoomed in to Merodi Universalis and the surrounding universes. At this level of zoom they were able to see the ‘curvature’ of the Q-Sphere, but the Starcross Society and Beyonders weren’t even visible. “There. The universal connections in your area of the multiverse from… Uh…”
“Three Central months ago,” Raising Heart offered.
“Thank you,” Nanoha told her device. “You’re lucky it’s that recent. Our ping probes take multiple years to complete a cycle of the multiverse.”
“I imagine it’d take a lot of time to map check every universe…” Corona said.
“The Xeelee maps update every two seconds,” Nanoha muttered.
“Take it they don’t like sharing?”
“Not really.”
“Are you supposed to be sharing this with me?”
“I have the authority to, yes. Though if I actually sent you the file I’d be in hot water. Maps are everything out here, especially in places that are always changing.”
“Right.”
“Bring up your map.”
Corona did, using her magic rather than relying on Raging Sights to do it all for her. They matched up for the most part, but Nanoha’s clearly extended beyond.
“Interface?” Corona asked.
“Interface,” Nanoha said. She lifted her staff and touched Raging Heart to one of the crystals on Corona’s gloves.
A path began to trace across both the maps, moving along five more universes before coming to a stop.
Corona transmitted the new coordinates back to Merodi Universalis immediately. “Thanks.”
“That wasn’t enough,” Nanoha said, furrowing her brow. “It stopped because there was no option to continue, not because it had arrived at the destination.”
“Why?”
“Hidden universe possibly? Or… Raising Heart, show me the map for this location from the last update.”
The map shifted slightly in a few locations, but for the most part remained the same – except where the end of the ka signature trail was. The universes there had scrambled their locations considerably, a few vanishing completely from the map.
“That’s an advanced technique for staying hidden,” Nanoha observed. “Class 2 at least, or a lower entity messing with an ancient remnant.”
“Scrambling the locations of universes so the path to their universe is never the same? That’s clever…”
“Which means that, even if we had a map that was up to date, it would quickly become useless. And if there are hidden universes in the mess, creating a new mapping program wouldn’t help either.” She folded her hands. “Sorry. Looks like we can’t really help.”
Corona shrugged. “You got us five universes closer. That helps a lot. There is a second option though.”
“Ask away.”
“Would you by chance know how to manipulate ka in such a way to get things to go faster? Or… Well, we’re using a ka signature to find this place, would you know a better way of following it rather than the ‘point at a grinder and hope it works’ strategy?”
“The TSAB is not the one to talk to about ka technology,” Nanoha said. “It’s banned in almost every scenario.”
“How do you deal with people who are using it against you then? Because we’re almost certain that’s what’s going on here. Rohan can’t write anything about him, he seems similar to the ‘Sues’ we’ve encountered according to Starbeat…”
Nanoha stopped in her tracks. “You sure he’s a Sue? Or Stu.”
“Pinkie says so.”
“Then there’s some people you need to talk to. Just below us on the Class 2 spectrum. It’s time you met the Flowers that Be.”
“The Flowers that Be?”
“The Flowers that Be. It’ll be better to just show you.” Nanoha smiled warmly. “Do you want a ride on a TSAB dimensional speedster?”
“…I would love that more than just about anything else.”
“Then today’s your lucky day.”
~~~
There were few things that could send Squeaky Belle into an instant panic.
The things on this list did not include the sudden kidnapping of one of her friends – she knew that, if she were going to help Allure, she’d need to keep her wits about her. It didn’t matter that she really wasn’t sure if anything could be done by the League of Sweetie Belles in this case… They were a rather low-level organization compared to the collective might of Merodi Universalis and its neighbors.
So she was growing despondent and hopeless – but not panicked.
What sent her into a panic was Minna riding Alushy into the league.
“WHAT THE FLIPPING HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MINNA!?” Squeaky screeched, her voice shattering a wine glass in the claws of a dragon-Sweetie.
“Taking her for a joyride,” Alushy commented. “Isn’t that right, kid?”
“Mmmm more donuts…” Minna muttered, holding onto Alushy’s mane like it was a pillow.
“Sorry, don’t have any more of the delectable asshole pastry, but we could go ba-”
“PUT HER DOWN RIGHT NOW!”
Alushy put her wings in her ears and cleaned them out. “You’re giving me war flashbacks.”
“ALUSHY!”
Alushy rolled her eyes. “Does it look like she wants to get down?”
Squeaky twitched. “…N-no, but that doesn’t matter! It’s you! With Minna! Allure is going to kill you! Then me!”
“Shhhhh Alushy will protect you,” Minna said with a smile.
“Minna, stay out of this.”
“No.”
Squeaky grabbed her mane and rammed her face into a nearby wall.
Thrackerzod walked up, a cup of coffee in her hoof. “What seems to be the problem?”
“Alushy has Minna!”
Thrackerzod looked at Alushy and Minna. “I don’t see the issue here.”
“Good! Then you can explain to Allure why her kid is hanging out with lack-of-morals psycho killer when she gets back!”
“…Are you describing me, or her?”
“You have morals!”
“I killed a puppy last week because it looked at me wrong. I have sacrificed numerous animals and corpses to Azathoth in this month alone.” Thrackerzod took a sip of her coffee. “It’s like you forget what I am some of the time.”
Squeaky blinked. “Point… Taken… But you aren’t a bad influence on Minna!”
“Define bad influence.”
“Stop playing devil’s advocate here, the point is we don’t want Allure to flip when she gets back.”
“Mmm.”
“Why aren’t you taking this seriously!?”
“Oh, I am, I’m just spending most my mental effort trying to figure out why Alushy would let a kid ride on her back.”
“Change of pace,” Alushy responded.
“Ah, so you were listening.”
“Eh, more trying to see if there was anything here for Minna.”
“Mom’s not here,” Minna muttered, clinging to Alushy. “We need to try somewhere else…”
“Got any other ideas?” Alushy asked. “Cause I’m fresh out. I say we wait here until she comes back, it’s a place she’ll definitely come.”
“I want her now. …She needs to see my drawing…”
“Oh that’s precious,” Alushy said, grabbing her heart.
Thrackerzod blinked. “…You have a heart. Azathoth’s darkside, that was not the answer I was expecting.”
“I will subatomically vaporize you, eldritch filly.”
“Not a filly, haven’t been for a long time.”
“You’ll always be the eldritch filly. For eternity.”
Thracekrzod shrugged. Bot fell out of the air. “But I’m the eternal filly!”
“But you’re a robot. A-” Alushy blinked. “Question, are you anatomically correct?”
“Negative.”
“What’s anatomically correct?” Minna asked.
“Well-” Alushy began.
Squeaky slapped Alushy in the face. “No. No no no. We’re not having the talk with her now. That’s a talk her mother needs to have with her.”
“Kids can handle a looot more shit than you think. Evidenced by how much they used to use up diapers and now don’t.”
Squeaky’s eye twitched again. “Your antics are going to kill me before Allure even gets back.”
“Oh, then I could turn you into a vampire! Whaddoya say?”
“Can I be a vampire?” Minna asked.
“No,” Alushy and Squeaky deadpanned.
“I dunno, shouldn’t she make that decision?” Thrackerzod asked.
“She’s seven,” Alushy and Squeaky responded.
“I might be eight!” Minna said.
Alushy and Squeaky looked at her, letting her know this changed nothing.
Minna folded her arms. “Fine. Why aren’t we looking for Mom, Alushy?”
“Because she’ll come back to this place, weren’t you listening?”
“…But then we wouldn’t be doing anything!”
“Come on, I took you on a huge tour of the Hub and Celestia City, don’t you think you’ve done enough today? Hell, look at you, trying to fall asleep on my back. I’m nowhere near as comfortable as a bed.”
“If you say so.”
Alushy rolled her eyes. “We could go out and introduce you to more things your mother would absolutely flip out about, or we could stay here and drive Squeaky insane.”
Minna giggled, falling back into Alushy’s mane like it was a pillow. She made her decision by remaining silent.
“Alushy…” Squeaky asked.
“Hm?”
“Did you feed her alcohol?”
“Yep.”
“ALUSHY!”
“It wasn’t enough to get her drunk! Just a little sip!”
“ALUSHY!!!”
~~~
Pinkie, Flutterfree, and Allure found themselves in an area of the Collection styled like a Japanese shrine. They sat at one of the tables, each eating a dish of their own choice. Pinkie had taken the infinite cupcake, Flutterfree had taken a high-end salad with the rarest of ingredients, and Allure had taken a tub of orange-vanilla swirl ice cream.
“Don’t judge me,” she had said.
Across from them sat two people they had met the moment they had come to sit down – Morty and Ivan.
“You guys have been here a while then?” Flutterfree asked.
“Yeah,” Morty said, poking at his green eggs and ham. “Honestly, not as bad as it could be.”
“How so?”
Morty sat back. “…You remember Rick, right?”
The three of them nodded with sour expressions.
“Much as I hate to admit it, he kinda controlled me. Not in a direct manner, but hoooooly shit is he a manipulating bastard who grabs people just to get what he wants. Did you know that he kept me around mostly to disguise his brainwaves?”
“Sounds like him,” Flutterfree admitted.
“Yeah. He might have a heart in there somewhere, but he virtually never listens to it. It’s all about him and what he wants. So I was under his thumb the entire time and treated like shit for a lot of it. Now I’m under a different person’s thumb, and I get the impression he actually likes me. At the very least he doesn’t treat me like shit.”
“Don’t you have a family though?” Allure asked.
Morty looked at his plate. “Yeah. And I miss them sometimes. But… I guess there’s not really a point to keeping this secret anymore. I’m not even the right Morty. I’m a replacement for the Morty of the family I live with. Rick ruined my home universe, so we went to one where we had died. They’re not really my family.”
“That must have been horrible!” Pinkie gasped.
“It was,” Morty admitted. “I got through it, but it was one of the major things that desensitized me to… everything. I was close to believing nothing could be done about the multiverse.”
“And then the Collector showed up?” Flutterfree asked.
Morty nodded. “The entire purpose of the Collection is to help the multiverse. It’s like… I think it’s what Rick would do if he had a conscience in him and the drive to get something done. Take as many people as he can from everywhere he can think of, and then use them as agents to do anything.”
“Anything?”
Ivan sighed. “Whatever the Collector thinks is right, that’s what we do.”
“I forgot you were here,” Allure commented.
“He doesn’t talk much,” Morty said. “Yeah, sometimes I don’t think what the Collector tells us to do is right, namely collecting missions, but I’ve saved more than a few universes from being destroyed at this point. …More than I ever did while traveling with Rick.”
“What happened to Rick?” Flutterfree asked.
“He used to be on a team with me, back a ways. I separated myself from him. I think he’s running a solo act now.”
Flutterfree nodded sadly.
“I’m trying to figure this out,” Allure out, shoveling more ice cream into her mouth. “He’s willing to steal random people from their families to work for them, but he has them do ‘hero’ work. That seems like a discontinuity to me.”
Morty shrugged. “It’s hard to get the Collector. Unless you’re Lightning. There’s a lot of us who wonder if she even has the loyalty protocol in her head.”
Pinkie took another bite of her cupcake. “Yeah, fun question.”
“…You know the answer.”
“Yep.”
“She’s not going to tell us,” Ivan pointed out.
“Nooope!” Pinkie confirmed, giggling.
Morty shrugged. “It’s not important. What is i-”
Vriska and Gyro crashed through the ceiling, trying their hardest to punch each other into submission. They rolled out a nearby window and fell to the disc below.
Allure blinked. “Uh…”
“They’ll be fine,” Davepeta said, flying into the room. “They are cutting my meeting with Vriska a bit short though…”
Nova and Jotaro jumped down the hole after Davepeta. “Done with the rampage,” Nova commented. “Vriska needs a bit more though.”
“Vriska always needs a bit more,” Jotaro pointed out.
“Hm, yeah.”
Davepeta sat down at the table and ordered some apple juice. “Fuck yeah,” they said, downing it in under a minute. “Absolutely purrfect, the best nature has to offer.”
“The best of everything seems to be here,” Nova said. “Complacency mechanisms as far as the eye can see.”
“It’s not like he actually has to do this,” Morty pointed out. “He just wants us to be comfortable.”
“As slaves,” Jotaro said.
“Yeah, Morty, dude’s evil,” Davepeta said. “You need to stop tryin’ to defend him.”
“Make the most out of the situation,” Morty countered.
Davepeta rolled their eyes. “Right. Whatever dude.”
As conversation turned a different direction, Nova walked up to Allure. “Hey.”
“…Hey.”
“We’ll get back to them, okay?”
“Yeah…”
“The sensors on Celestia City would have detected Kars. They can find us.”
“…And we’ll have to fight against them,” Allure pointed out, tears forming in her eyes. “And what if they lose? We… We won’t get to see them ever again!”
Nova gulped. “That’s not going to happen. We’ll see them again, Allure. Both of us will.”
“How can you be sure of that? You’re not Pinkie!”
“Pink-” Nova began, but Pinkie wasn’t there.
“See? It’s not something she can tell us.”
“Or something she can, but just doesn’t want to…” Nova muttered. She sighed. “Let’s not lose hope, Allure.”
“But I can’t do anything! I could ask for Minna to be taken and that’s it! All other courses of action are blocked!”
Nova pulled her into a hug. “That’s what hope is for. When you can’t do anything… but something needs to happen anyway.”
Allure didn’t let go of Nova for a long time.
~~~
Starbeat was alone in a skiff, floating in orbit in a universe that was the closest they had gotten to the Collector so far. Behind her, there was a specialized grinder that was trying to find universes based on the ka signature they’d obtained. It was agonizingly slow work, and it was a constant reminder of how close she’d been, and yet how far she was from actual success.
She didn’t really know what she was doing with ka. She could scan it; tell you what it looked similar to, and possibly where else it existed. She couldn’t tell you what it was going to do, why it did what it did, or even what ka really was.
The ‘force of narrative’ wasn’t enough of an explanation for her. It was something more than that… It had to come from somewhere, be regulated by something.
But she didn’t have a clue about that. Who did she think she was, that she’d be able to figure it out? Just some cursed unicorn, in a skiff, in the middle of nowhere, getting nowhere.
Just watching a grinder continue to fail at making progress.
“So many unknowns…” she said, staring forlornly at the mechanism. “So many… So much we don’t understand!” She kicked the grinder. Nothing changed.
The TSAB could only give them five more universes. That was it. Not even they knew what was going on. Nobody understood this.
…Except Twilence, if reports were to be believed, but lo and behold, a call to the Void had revealed she was nowhere to be found. Surprise surprise. So much scrambling…
Starbeat began to tremble. What was she even doing here? She was hopeless. She had no control, she was a slave. Just a slave of a different kind…
She had no power. No knowledge.
Nothing that could get them back. Nothing that could get Vriska back.
She really needed to talk to her moirail, but she was gone. Anyone else she spilled her heart out too would just become the victim of her curse…
Tears started to well up in her eyes.
She was sick of living like this. Locked away, with only scant contact. Observing everyone’s normal lives like part of a scientific study, a study designed to help her. But help never really came. She was stuck. Stuck. Stuck.
She rammed her head into one of the walls, grunting.
There was nothing she could do.
Nothing but wait.
Waiting was hell.
~~~
TSAB ships operated on a unique concept. Rather than jumping from universe to universe, they created a bubble universe around themselves that they then moved through the multiverse from within, a process known as sailing on the Sea of Infinite Possibility. This method had its pros and cons. On the pro side, it made it very easy to discover new universes since newly created universes established connections to nearby universes right off the bat, and the initial creation of the connections was relatively easy to detect. The con was that moving even a small bubble universe’s location required an immense amount of energy and time.
In the early days of the TSAB, when they were a Class 3, this had been a huge problem. It could take weeks for a ship to move from one end of the TSAB to another, and the number of interdimensional ships was rather low.
In modern times, however, the TSAB had access to virtually every power source imaginable. Nanoha, given her position, could get some of the most impressive exotic energy sources out there.
For instance, her personal dimensional speedster, the Vivio, ran on something called an interconnected zero-point vibration siphon. When Corona asked how it worked, Nanoha had put her fists to her head and made the ‘mindblow’ gesture. She refused to give any other explanation.
Corona eventually admitted that was all the explanation that was needed.
The Vivio was a needle-shaped ship that only seated three in its cockpit, the back two-thirds of the ship reserved for the green-blue dimensional drive. It created a bubble universe around it, and then adhered the edges of the reality to its hull, creating a swirling pattern right on the Vivio’s windshield.
Then Nanoha told it to go. Corona felt the ship lurch, even though it had no space to lurch into since it was all its own universe. The colors they could see out the windshield ceased being calm, simple swirls, transforming into jagged lines of neon color that burned Corona’s eyes. She felt the Vivio shudder with every connection it made, tearing through the multiverse.
On a live-updating map of the multiverse, the Vivio would appear as a single universal dot moving rapidly through the E-Sphere, forming connections and breaking them as if it was Spider-Man slinging through a city, except with hundreds of hands and webs at any given time.
Vivio entered the Strands in a matter of seconds, pulling itself along one of the leyline paths between the Spheres. Granted, at this point Vivio could have created a dimensional portal and moved through the Strands in an instant, but why bother when it was already moving?
It made a sharp turn off the Strands leyline, going for an area between the D and Q-Spheres that was relatively close to the center of the multiverse, but not too close. They finally stopped moving around there, connected to a few dozen universes.
Corona shook her head. “W-wow. You can get anywhere in this thing…”
“A few minutes to anywhere that’s not protected in any of the three Spheres or the Strands,” Nanoha bragged. “The Great Void makes it difficult to get to the Unrealities like this, that takes about a day. And it’s dangerous to go to the Edges of the multiverse – you could lose all connections and fall into nonexistence.”
“Remind me never to go to the Edges.”
“Anyway, let’s shift into our actual destination…” Nanoha pressed a few buttons. The Vivio placed its bubble-universe self into another, normal universe via a round portal. It lost the swirly sheen and became just an advanced piece of metal sitting in space.
They had been expected, apparently, since two-dozen ships surrounded them.
“One thing I can say about the Flowers, you never have to call ahead,” Nanoha commented, rubbing the back of her head. She opened a channel. “You know why we’re here.”
An image appeared onscreen – not of a plant-based alien, to Corona’s surprise, but of two human women. “Yeah, Upstairs told us all about you. Welcome back to the PPC, Nanoha. You’ll have to come with us.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” She cut the channel.
“PPC?” Corona asked.
“Protectors of the Plot Continuum,” Nanoha answered. “It’s the biggest project the Flowers have – used to be their only project.”
“What do they do?”
“Protect the plot of the multiverse,” Nanoha said, sitting back. “The Flowers are one of the only races in the multiverse willing to see how far ka manipulation can go. It’s… an interesting way to create a society.”
The Vivio was taken through …something they weren’t able to consciously register, appearing elsewhere in the universe. The elsewhere in question was a docking bay devoid of any ships save the Vivio and the ship that had brought them there.
The hatch of the Vivio popped open, allowing Nanoha and Corona to walk out onto the dock made of an unidentifiable white material. The two women just teleported in front of them. “Don’t go wandering off – the place isn’t always three-dimensional. You will get lost.”
“Got it,” Corona said, looking up at the lights far above them. “…Those aren’t normal. UV?”
“Magic, of a sort,” Nanoha said. “A lot of non-Flowers live here, but the Flowers need their sunlight. So instead of UV light, they get magic beams that absorb into their leaves. I think; they don’t really like to explain things to outsiders.”
“Ah.”
The PPC looked like a normal office building after they left the ship dock, with simple hallways that looked like they belonged in an office building rather than beings who manipulated the fate of existence. As they walked through the place, Corona saw many many pairs of agents walking around – rarely was there any less or more than two. The majority were human, though a handful of other races were seen, but still no plant-based lifeforms.
Corona counted seven right turns in a row at one point. Definitely not a building constructed with standard geometry in mind. She marveled at how any of the humans managed to get around in this place.
After twisting and turning down a dozen corridors, they arrived at a room labeled Chrysanthemum.
When they entered the simple office, for the first time they saw one of the legendary Flowers that Be.
It was a lot less impressive than Corona had been hoping.
Chrysanthemum was a yellow chrysanthemum flower. The only oddities about Chrysanthemum were her size – larger than a human – and a necklace around her central stalk. Welcome, Nanoha, Corona, Chrysanthemum spoke with telepathy. How can I help you today?
Corona placed a data pad on the table containing the data they had on the Collector and the Collection, including the ka signature they had obtained. As she did so, she scanned Chrysanthemum. Plant-based life form for certain, though the interior contained a more advanced nervous system than any plant had a right to have. The psychic readings were off the charts, but otherwise there was no magic or much of anything else. Corona suspected if Raging Sights could detect ka, there would have been more to call her attention.
As predicted, this is worth our time, Chrysanthemum stated. Corona wasn’t sure exactly how she’d looked at the pad, and she didn’t ask. You have found a very large glitch in the Narrative. Furthermore, it appears as if this Collector has been actively hiding from us. An impressive feat, to say the least.
“What can you tell us about him?” Nanoha asked.
From this signature, it is clear he is a Gary Stu, however the signature isn’t pure, suggesting a more complex motive than the baseline. The signature also speaks of his status as a Self Insert.
“Self Insert?” Corona asked.
Prophets sometimes write themselves into their stories, or a character based on them. This is the technical definition of a Self Insert, but it isn’t enough to quantify a narrative glitch – after all, your own Prophet Rohan Kishibe is, himself, a Self Insert of the Higher Prophet Hirohiko Araki. A Self Insert becomes an issue when they are not a distinct character for the plot, but exist to take advantage of the plot. There are signs of ‘awareness of the source material’ and ‘enhanced planning faculties’ in this signal.
“You can tell all of that from just a signal of one of his slaves?”
Those who shine brightest tell us the most. I can tell a lot about you just by examining you. However, as you are not a narrative glitch, policy dictates I don’t tell you anything about it. You do not need to be adjusted.
“Thanks, I think?”
Nanoha leaned in. “Can you find this Collector?”
Certainly. Let me make a few calls.
Nanoha and Corona looked at each other – and grinned.
~~~
The Collector stood on an invisible balcony near the top of the Plaza, rubbing his knuckles together nervously.
The Flowers were going to move soon. He was certain of it.
It was true that they needed to move for everything to fall into place, but the Flowers were beyond dangerous. They would do one thing, notice the flow of ka, and change up everything. It was exceptionally hard to predict them.
But he knew they had to come after him, for he was outside the ‘accepted’ flow of ka. The plot they sought to protect.
“Arrogant weeds,” he muttered.
Lightning raised an eyebrow. “The Flowers?”
“Yes. The Flowers. I’m not going to get into it, you already know everything I think about them.” He gripped the rails of the balcony, leaning over the edge. He zoomed in on one of the parks at the bottom, where the six newest members of the Collection were enjoying themselves with Morty, Ivan, Gyro, and Davepeta. Gyro and Vriska were having an arm-wrestling competition that looked like it would never end, Flutterfree was talking with Morty about some sort of complex topic, Pinkie and Davepeta were having a sillyness-slash-irony contest, Jotaro and Ivan were appreciating each other’s silence, and Nova and Allure sat to the side having mostly cheered each other up.
The Collector let out a soft chuckle. “Already settling in, I see.”
“Still going with the accelerated schedule for them?”
“I have a mission in particular for them,” the Collector said, handing Lightning a data pad.
“You sure?”
“It’s important that it’s this one.”
Lightning nodded. “They should be fine here. Should I schedule another one after that?”
“No,” the Collector said. “Keep them here after that. Let them understand us as we are now.”
Lightning pocketed the pad. “I’ll see to it the moment they’re done in the park.”
The Collector nodded.
“…Lightning?”
Lightning paused, just short of the exit. “Yes?”
“Remember your promise.”
Lightning’s face became rigid. “I haven’t forgotten.”
“Good.”
The two exchanged no further words.