Chapter 4: Intro of Darkness, Then Redness, Then Whiteness
---
Darkness gave way to redness which then gave way to whiteness. It was like watching one of Tobuscus' unscripted videos. Only what I was watching didn't have his humorous commentary to go with it.
Ugh, what a nightmare, I thought while rubbing my eye, If that's the last lucid dream I ever have, it'll be too soon.
I stretched up my arms as I let out a quiet yawn.
"Oh good," said an equally quiet voice, "You're awake."
My eyes snapped open almost immediately. That had sounded way too similar to Andrea Libman's gentler voice. Slowly, I turned my head toward the source. I was met with the sight of two calming, teal eyes. But the sight of those eyes had the opposite effect on me.
"Ahhhhhhh!" I cried in the same high-pitched scream from my nightmare. I quickly threw of whatever covers restricted me to this reality. I had to get out of here. This wasn't who I was. But before I could reach my window of freedom, a surprisingly strong pair of hooves grabbed around me and slowed down my gallop considerably.
"Rarity!" softly exclaimed Fluttershy, "Please don't jump off the balcony and hit your head again."
Again? echoed my thoughts. Despite my moment of terror, I could somehow think coherently. I remembered how I had tried to end the nightmare the first time and how well that didn't go.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result, I recalled one of Einstein's quotes, Attempting suicide didn't wake me up the first time. If I try doing it again, is that the same as admitting that I'm insane?
I sat down willingly. The gripper seemed to release her hold as she realized I was no longer trying to run.
And what better is being insane than being... her? continued my train of thought.
"Rarity?" piped in Fluttershy. I barely even noticed her walk around to face me directly. My vision started to blur and my eyes felt wet.
I fell to the floor lying down and started to bawl extremely loudly. I wasn't sure if it was Rarity's instinct or me that was doing the crying at that moment. I didn't care. I didn't care that my voice was an octave too high. I didn't care that I was in a mare's body. I just felt like crying. What was I supposed to do?
"Shh," whispered Fluttershy as she half-stroked, half-hugged me, "It's all right. Just let it all out."
"Well," I whimpered while somehow stopping my tears midstream, "if you say so. But it might be hard to take." I took a deep breath before letting the horse apples hit the fan.
"I'm not Rarity. I'm a human from an alternate Earth. I don't know how or why I'm in Rarity's body. I don't know where the real Rarity is. The longer I stay here, the more traits and quirks I pick up that are hers. And I don't have a clue how to get back home so that everything can be normal again."
Other than the two quick blinks Fluttershy gave me, the room was deadly silent for the next couple of seconds.
"Wow," she murmured, "I was not expecting that."
"Do you believe me?" I asked almost begging, "Please believe me. Please? Please, please, pleeeeeease!"
"I admit that it's difficult to swallow," started Fluttershy. I hung my head low in defeat. It was hopeless then.
"But I do trust you," she finished.
"You do?" I asked lifting my head.
"Of course," she replied with a smile, "After all, we're friends. Aren't we?" I felt my eyes water again, but this time out of the cup of hope rather than the fountain of despair.
"Thank you, Fluttershy," I told her, "Thank you."
"But, I'm not sure what I can do to help," she admitted, "I've never even heard of alternate dimensions let alone traveling between them."
"Then you've got to help me convince Twilight and the others," I decided, "Surely, she can figure something out. At the very least, she has the best contact with the Princess."
"All right," she agreed quietly, but firmly, "I'll go with you to Twilight."
"You're the best, Fluttershy," I complimented.
"Oh, it's nothing, really," insisted Fluttershy.
She's so cute when she's modest, I thought. On that note, we took the long way to the first floor: the stairs.
---
I felt really guilty putting off so many clients for one outing, but this was important. The sooner I got back home meant that the real Rarity could get back here and I could get back to my life chasing the cultured life.
...Wait, no. The sooner I could get back to working... in my... passion for... fashion?
This isn't good at all, I thought, I barely have any memory of my own life left. All I've got left for sure is that I am a human. That spell of Twilight's didn't help matters at all. Since when does she just rush in and magic everything into place?
...
Okay, maybe all the time, like that time she tried turning dear Opal into a dog just so she'd get along with Winona that one time.
I performed a double-take to my own thoughts.
I'm... fairly certain that never happened in the show. Oh, no. Did that spell give me Rarity's off screen memories too? I've got to hurry!
My brisk trot soon turned into a gallop as my worries began to rise again.
"Rarity, wait up!" called Fluttershy as loud as she could, which is to say not very loud at all.
"But I'm not Rarity!" I almost shouted back. But I quickly resorted to flatly saying, "I'm not Rarity," to avoid attracting unwanted stares.
I didn't even bother using magic this time and just punched the library door open with my front hoof. Or was it kick since a hoof is technically a type of foot? Oh, forget it!
"Twilight! Are you here?" I called.
"Oh!" exclaimed a certain baby dragon, "Ah-hem, hey there, Rarity." I noticed a couple books in his grasp fell to the floor as he stared at me. He slowly walked in my direction.
"Spikey, listen very closely," I reasonably demanded, "This is an absolute emergency and I need you to get Twilight as soon as possible. My entire existence may depend on it. Do you understand?"
I looked him in the eye. I couldn't be sure, but I could have sworn that my reflection in his eyes was surrounded by a vibrant magenta aura, white glitter, and red valentines.
"Oh, yeah," he breathed as if in a daze, "I'll gladly marry you, my sweet."
I did the pony equivalent of a face palm with a groan. Of course Spike would be too distracted by Rarity's beauty to know what she was saying.
"Never mind," I muttered as I headed up the stairs, "Twilight!"
"What, huh?" I heard Spike mumble as his daydream, romance fantasy ended.
---
"The probability for any event A is given by the squared length of the complex number called the 'probability amplitude'," read the completely oblivious unicorn.
"Twilight," I said.
"For the motion of the position of particle x, at time t, to x sub 2 at t sub 2," she continued without looking up, "the time sequence can be divided up into n plus 1 segments of fixed duration."
"Twilight!" I called a little louder. I actually levitated the book in a light blue glow hoping to also grab her attention.
"The path integral representation gives the quantum amplitude to go from point x to point y as an integral over all paths," she said. She was still looking at the same spot on her desk.
Good lord! I thought, What did she do? Memorize every single word of that book?
"TWILIGHT!" shouted a third voice. Both of us unicorns in the room jumped at the sudden speaker that I never would have expected to shout unless she was angry or something of that nature.
"Oh, I'm sorry," shrank Fluttershy on the top stair. Good grief, you could have given me a heart attack, girl!
...Kudos.
"Hey, girls," Twilight recovered her composure quite well before asking, "Can I help you?"
"You just might be able to," I answered with the sound of my pounding heart making me feel nervous.
Be that as it may, I let the horse apples hit the fan... again.
"I'm not actually Rarity. I'm just in her body. I don't know how or why. I'm a human from an alternate dimension, world, or something. The longer I stay here, I take in more and more of her personality traits as my own. I need your help to find a way for me to get back home so that you can have the real Rarity back." My attempt at calm, heavy breathing followed my long-winded speech. I say attempt because ragged breaths didn't sound very calm at all.
"Um... what?" asked Twilight with a confused look on her face.
Well, I have to give these ponies credit, I thought to myself, At least their responses are original.
"I'm... not... Rarity," I said between breaths. I admit that the sound of Tabitha St. Germain's voice wasn't exactly convincing. I was starting to have trouble believing the truth myself.
"So, what are you? Some type of magical parasitic organism?" asked Twilight.
"No," I said as I shook my head, "I'm a human."
"I find that ludicrous or at the very least impossible to believe," she responded, "Humans can't just spontaneously cross dimensions and swap minds with ponies."
"There's a first time for everything," pointed out Fluttershy before hiding her eyes behind her mane again.
"Quite right," I agreed with the quiet one, "After all, no pony had truly cast a spell to create such beautiful wings before that Flier's Competition, and you did on your first try."
There was a few seconds of awkward silence.
"If you're not Rarity," prompted Twilight, "How do you remember that?"
"I'm not blaming you, Twilight," I said, "But I think that memory spell you cast may have something to do with why I'm having trouble picking apart the pieces of what belongs to Rarity and what belongs to me."
"Why didn't you say something earlier?" she asked.
"Forgive me, darling, but I was a little too preoccupied by being forcibly tied to a chair," I said with a little more ice in my words than I had intended.
"Oh, right," Twilight said as her ears drooped, "That."
The awkward silence returned. But I decided to walk a little closer and fill that lack of noise.
"Twilight," I said while lifting her chin with a hoof, "I said it before. I don't blame you. At the time, you were thinking about your friend and didn't want her to throw her life away. That's an admirable quality and it shows that you are a good friend. Don't let any pony else tell you otherwise."
That seemed to be the right thing to say. She immediately perked up and smiled with a small nod.
"That said," I said while bringing my hoof back to the floor, "I would really appreciate some help in trying to find a way back home."
"That might be a bit more difficult," admitted Twilight, "None of my books ever talked about traveling between dimensions."
"But your future self knew how to travel back in time," I pointed out.
"Yes, but the space-time continuum is a completely different dimension than a cross-parallel universe, if it even exists," she explained.
"Oh," I said. This time, I felt my ears droop.
"But, I could send a letter to the Princess pertaining to your circumstance," she added.
The hopelessness I had felt slowly retreated as I said, "That would be wonderful. Thank you Twilight."
"No problem, Rarity," she replied, "Oh, er... I mean, uh..."
"Oh, just go ahead and call me 'Rarity'," I dismissed, "It's not like I remember my real name now."
"Won't that be a problem when you get back home?" asked Fluttershy.
"It shouldn't be," I negated, "Once I'm back, I'll just find my I.D. Then I should be able to start remembering the right things."
"Your... I.D.?" asked Twilight.
Really? They don't know what an I.D. is? I thought before shrugging off the obscurity.
"My identification," I clarified, "It's this little card I carried around on my world to prove to others that I am who I say I am."
"Oh, so it's like a business card!" said Twilight with a 'eureka' face.
Close enough, I thought.
"Sure, we'll go with that," I agreed.
"Still, won't it be kind of weird calling you 'Rarity' if you're not Rarity?" asked Fluttershy, "I mean, it's okay if you want to be called that. I was just thinking, you know?"
She did have a fair point. Being called 'Rarity' would only make it more difficult for me to remember that I wasn't her. But, what should I call myself? I didn't remember my name. Then, it hit me. A name from my past readings of fan written works just clicked in my mind. The perfect alias.
"For now," I said, "Call me Diamond Edge."
"Diamond Edge?" echoed Fluttershy.
"Yes," I said smiling at the idea, "That will do quite nicely."
"All right," decided Twilight, "I'll go get started on that letter."
A noisy grumbling sound interrupted our conversation. At the same time, a certain empty feeling made itself known inside me.
"Eh heh heh heh," I chuckled sheepishly.
"But first," said Twilight taking note of my stomach growling, "Why don't we get some lunch?"
"Sounds good to me," I admitted.
---
There wasn't a whole lot that happened at what felt like my first meal since waking up in Equestria. The restaurant was pretty generic, and Rarity's taste buds helped me keep down my order. Sure, I could talk about how my instinctual mannerisms slowed down my eating pace considerably. I could even go through the number of times I used the word 'lady'. But other than that, lunch was pretty uneventful.
"I hope Rarity's okay," muttered Fluttershy off hand. (hoof?)
"I know you said you didn't know where she was," said Twilight to me, "But do you have any possible ideas?"
"I have... one," I said with a bit of uncertainty.
It was only a theory, but if I was here, then the real Rarity was...
---
"Oh, no, no, no. This will not do at all. These colors are simply drab."
"How often has this dirty brute cleaned this place? There's a layer of dust everywhere!"
"Excuse me, good sir, please refrain from hitting me like that."
"Oh. It. Is. On! Take that you ruffian!"
"But guard, he assaulted me! It was an act of self-defense. Unshackle me, if you would be so kind."
"Why I never! The colors of this prison room are just so gray!"
"Whining? I am not whining. I am complaining. Do you want to hear whining?"
"Of all the worst things that could happen, this is the. Worst. Possible. THING!"
---
"Please be overactive imagination," I muttered while looking down, "Please be overactive imagination."
"Huh?" Twilight looked at me with confusion.
I returned eye contact before shyly saying, "I... think the worst she'll have to worry about is my poor fashion sense." I added a few chuckles that wouldn't convince any pony that I was telling the whole story.
"Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad," comforted Twilight.
Shirts of plain gray, brown, and yellow might not be enough for the fashionesta to work with, I thought in counter argument.
"Hey guys!" hollered a familiar Ashleigh Ball voice from above. Look to the sky, grasshopper, and you shall see the Rainbow. Look to the ground and you will find the Applejack of your eye.
"Howdy, Rarity," greeted Ashleigh Ball's other accent, "How are you doing today?"
"Yeah," added Rainbow Dash, "Are you past that 'jumping out of a window' phase?"
"Rainbow!" patronized Applejack.
"What?" retorted Rainbow, "It's a fair question."
"You're right, darling," I admitted, "It is a fair question and my answer is this; I will not be jumping from injurious heights anymore."
"Good!" approved Rainbow Dash with a nod, "See that you don't."
"Listen, sugarcube," said Applejack while rubbing the back of her neck, "Sorry about that whole hog-tying the other day. We were just worried about you."
"I understand," I assured her, "But, that leaves one more thing I need to talk to you about."
"What's that?" she asked.
I opened my mouth to draw in a deep breath, but a higher-pitched, hyper energetic, Andrea Libman-esque voice beat me to the punch. (kick?)
"She's not Rarity. She's a human from an alternate Earth. She's now in Rarity's body. But she doesn't know how or why. Now she's trying to find a way back home by asking the Princess. And until she does get home and remembers her name, she's going by Diamond Edge."
I think all five of us blinked in various degrees of confusion as Pinkie Pie hung suspended in midair. In the next second, though, she fell onto the table basically destroying what was left of the empty dishes. I racked up the levitation to her being Pinkie Pie, but one other thing was bothering me right then.
"How did you know what I was going to say?" I asked.
The Pinkazoid popped back up into a happy-faced, standing position as she replied, "Oh, I just read your facial expressions. I can usually tell what some pony's about to say just from that."
"You read my facial expressions?" I echoed with a confused look.
"Yes indeedy!" she said while still showing off those pearly whites.
Why do I keep questioning her? I asked myself, The correct answer is always "She's Pinkie Pie."
"Ooh! I just realized something!" she exclaimed, "You're like a new pony in Ponyville and you know what that means."
"Uh," I stammered. You'd be surprised how hard it is to think when Pinkie's got her face negative one millimeter away from yours. (Yes, it feels like one millimeter of Pinkie Pie's face is inside your own. The thought gave me chills later.)
"A party!" she shouted before zip-lining out of the setting.
"..." was the response from every pony left. I think a I heard a pin drop somewhere.
"That just happened," I stated the obvious.
"What in tarnation did that mean?" asked Applejack with an eyebrow raised.
"So, Diamond Edge, if you were in Rarity's body when you jumped," wondered Rainbow Dash, "Was your action an attempt at suicide or murder?"
Well, that was uncalled for, Rainbow. Still, it marginally beat my idea for an icebreaker. So in the spirit of generous fairness, I answered her.
"Celestia knows I don't know."