Light Patch blinked and looked around the mindscape as he raised his goggles, and the first thing that struck him was how cluttered it appeared. A massive cupcake sat, literally squished between what he assumed was her home in the town, and the bakery in which she worked. Other large objects sat, or even edged themselves into, the simplified map of the city in which he sat. Of course, when he looked up he could see the glass case in which the whole city sat; the outside of the case showing a large bakery.
“Well, at least I have a good guess as to whose mind I’ve found myself in first,” he muttered, trying to get his bearings from what he’d seen of the city at this point. “Now to just find the girl in question.” He began wandering around, seeing a weird mix of familiar faces, mostly other students of the high school, as well as figures walking around in full suits and hats but with their heads replaced by some kind of object. He was busy trying to figure out if these were shorthands for people not known on a personal level, or objects with a different sense of interaction with than the ones dotting the model of the town.
He turned a corner, still pondering the mental landscape he was in, and failed to notice the obvious shoe that jumped into his path. With a whoop of surprise, Light Patch face-planted into the cartoonishly rendered, but still very solid, sidewalk pavement. Peals of laughter rang out from beside him as two sets of hands helped him to his feet.
Twilight and Fluttershy quickly fell back to the rest of the group gathered around their still laughing friend, the six girls switching between worried and concerned looks at him, and slightly annoyed looks at Pinkie, who was busy trying to wipe the tears of laughter from her face.
“You should have seen your face! You were all-” Pinkie mimicked a ‘deep in thought’ face, “but then you tripped on my foot and went all-” she waved her body around, arms failing and face mimicking a cartoonish face of surprise. “It was so hilarious!” she finished, done with her reenactment and wiping a final tear from her face. “So, what’cha doing kicking around the ninth level of my mind? Ooh, oooh, is there some kind of evil dentist going around making other kids sneeze their brains out to be used in weapons of mass mayhem, and we’re the only who can stop him?” She grabbed him by the shoulders.
“Um, spoilers?” Light Patch replied, shaken by the fact that Pinkie somehow knew they were in her mind. With a shrug, Pinkie started to bound along, followed by the figments of her six friends, and Light Patch playing catch up.
“OH!” the pink teenager said, suddenly snapping her fingers before turning to Light Patch. “There’s an interdimensional highway running through my head, and it saves you like a minute fifty-three seconds, isn’t there?”
“Uh, more spoilers?” Light Patch replied, catching up to the group again.
“Oh, what abou-” Pinkie froze mid sentence, her eyes locking onto something behind the grey teen. “Hold that thought,” she said, before vanishing in a puff of clouds. Light Patch turned just in time to watch Pinkie push one of the cupcake-headed figures just enough for it to topple down stairs. The grey teen stood stunned as the other six girls, with varying noises of anger and surprise, rushed down the stairs to help the cupcake.
“Classic,” Pinkie said, pulling herself away from the wall she had been using to keep from falling down while laughing. “Come on, Light Patch, smile! Or chuckle, or something.”
“Seemed a little harsh to be funny,” the teen replied, looking at the figure now dusting its suit off as the rest of the girls helped try to put some of its lost frosting back.
“Oh come on, it’s classic slapstick! The only way you can get more classic would be if I did this.” The pink teen promptly pulled a board out from behind her and smacked another one of the suited objects, causing it to also tumble down the stairs and knock over the cupcake again. This earned a small snort of amusement from Light Patch, and the ire of the six girls at the bottom of the stairs.
“See? Funny.” Pinkie put an arm over the grey teen’s shoulder and pulled him in. “Now come on, I got an epic idea we can do for some super-laughs.”
“I’m not saying there wasn’t a little humor in it,” he replied. “It was, after all, the Greeks back home who are credited with the phrase ‘tragedy plus time equals humor’, but it still seems kind of mean.”
“Oh come on, it’s just some laughs!”
“They aren’t laughing,” he said, pointing down the steps to the girls and two object headed suits, busy trying to disentangle themselves from each other. Pinkie looked down and observed the beings, her cotton-candy-like hair deflating slightly as she observed the scene and the looks of her friends.
“Yeah, well… I am! And that’s what counts, right?” Pinkie said hesitantly, almost like she wasn’t sure it was a question.
“Isn’t laughter meant to be shared, not hoarded?” Light Patch asked. “Sure, you can find a large amount on your own, but don’t you get even more out of a tiny amount if shared with friends?”
“Well yeah, but that just means I gotta try harder to find what makes them laugh.”
“They’re your friends. You already know what makes them laugh. So why are you trying to make them laugh this way?”
“Because I’m trying to help them!” Pinkie retorted, her hair returning to its usual state. “It’s my thing, my job, my...” She paused, searching for the right word.
“Element?” Light Patch helpfully replied, despite his frustration at the progress slipping away.
“Yeah, Element! I help others find the humor in everything ,or help to make humor where none might exist!”
“By finding it in someone else’s pain or misery?”
“That is mostly slapstick and you know it. Besides, why else does something like Amareica’s Funniest Home Videos exist if there isn’t humor there?” Pinkie shot back, earning a baffled look from Light Patch. “Don’t gimme that look. We’re basically Vulcan mind-melding, and as my friends are so fond of reminding the universe, I am Pinkie Pie.” She finished with fists resting on her hips as she shot him a slightly exasperated look.
“Okay, point,” Light Patch managed to stammer once his surprise finally wore off.
“But there’s a difference between finding the humor in something, and causing that situation. You might chuckle at someone who trips on the sidewalk, but would you really laugh at someone falling down the stairs?” Pinkie’s hair deflated a little again before bouncing back.
“I just did, and I find it funny,” Pinkie stated matter of factly. She blinked, and suddenly felt Light Patch right next to her, pressing his cheek to hers and looking into her eye.
“Yeah, but is that really you, or some evil mind control spell?” he asked as she pushed him away with a glare.
“Hey, the blink and you miss me thing is my shtick! Don’t-”
“What is the reason for laughter?” Light Patch asked as he pulled out a file and began to work on his nails.
“What?”
“Laughter, humor, what are they all about?” Light Patch asked again. Without giving her a chance to reply, he continued. “Why do we have them? Why do we even care about them?”
“It’s important for several things. It can help build social links, defuse tense situations, or most commonly it can help you relax after stressful situations. And some studies have shown it to be even more effective if shared with friends” she rambled, her hair deflating more as she went along.
“Laughter is meant to be shared,” Light Patch picked up. “It’s strong alone, but more powerful if shared by everyone.” Pinkie’s hair had lost all of its characteristic curliness, causing Light Patch to face Pinkie and give her a small grin. “It’s not meant to be used all of the time, but when it’s time for laughter to shine...” He gestured towards Pinkie with a larger smile before moving his hand towards the cupcake besuited-being at the bottom of the stairs.
Pinkie’s eyes followed the gesture, her eyes locked on the cupcake her friends had helped up and the hopeful looks of said friends. She turned back to Light Patch, her hair regaining some of its curliness. She reached out to grasp his offered hand, and the moment they touched an electrical noise caused her to recoil with a look of surprise on her face and a noise of shock.
Light Patch held up his hand to reveal a joy buzzer in his palm. “What's a small harmless prank between friends every now and then?”
Pinkie stared at the teen with a look of surprise before morphing into humor, and she burst out laughing. Her hair returned to its curly state, and the world around them literally brightened. “Thanks Light Patch, I needed a reminder of that,” she said after finally calming down.
“And a little taste of your own medicine?” the teen replied.
“Yeah, I guess. Anyway, thanks for helping break me from whatever all of this was,” Pinkie said, waving her hand and clearing up the last small bit of messiness that the Hydra’s spell had caused in her mental landscape as her friends came back to her side.
“I just gave you the small nudge you needed. You seemed to already have been fighting hard,” he said, waving towards the images of their mutual friends around them.
“Hey, yeah! I’d dare most anything to come and have a fair fight against me in my head,” Pinkie said, suddenly in full boxing gear.
“Yeah, I’m just glad I didn’t have to do any big boss fights against you, or your Censors, or something like that. Or worse, that you’d have gone and went all Charnel on me.”
“Charnel?” Pinkie asked, looking at Light Patch quizzically.
“Where there is pain, I am there. Where there is strife, I am there. Where there is suffering, I am there. Where there is laughter…” Light Patch paused his best impression of the character. “Yes, well, you can’t spell slaughter without laughter now, can you?” he finished.
“Wow, he sounds like a real barrel of laughs.” Pinkie deadpanned.
“He actually is one of the funnier characters of the game,” Light Patch said, earning a small questioning look from Pinkie. “What? I’m allowed to enjoy a little dark humor every now and then. Besides, we have another friend of yours to rescue, and honestly I could probably use a little help.”
“Cool! Who are we helping next?” Pinkie said enthusiastically, bouncing as she pulled on goggles similar to those Light Patch had.
“Applejack,” Light Patch said, turning to the representation of said teen in Pinkie’s mind.
“Ooh, this could be a lot of fun.” She paused for a moment before her hand shot up. “Question: how do we get from me to her?”
“I assume Sunset will be able to tell when we’re ready to transfer, and give us some kind of wa-” Light Patch was cut off by a sudden weight in one of his many pockets. He started patting his pants before finding the right one and quickly pulled out a small door with an orange and blue diamond pattern on it. “Yeah, this’ll work.”
“That looks a little sma-” Pinkie cut herself off when the male teen suddenly threw the door square at Applejack’s forehead, where it landed flat and, rather than bounce off, simply stayed there before opening to show a white light.
“Shall we?” he said, offering his hand out to Pinkie. She started to reach out to grasp it, but suddenly pulled back and held her palm up, pointing at it with a look of distrust. With a sigh, he held his up to reveal the joy buzzer still in place. He made a theatrical note of clearly removing the buzzer and putting it away before holding his hand out again. She looked at the hand quizzically for a few seconds before deeming it safe, and grasped it. Light Patch used his free hand to lower his goggles, and faced the door. “Please don’t let this Meat Circus us,” he quietly mumbled before jumping into the door.
“Wait, what!” Pinkie cried out before she was dragged along as well, and the door snapped shut behind them. The figments of Pinkie’s various friends looked at each other, and the weird face that the Applejack figment was making, before suddenly smiling and taking out pens.
“No!” a short suited woman cried, holding a stamp with the word ‘yes’ circled and crossed out.
* * *
Light Patch and Pinkie Pie landed amidst a vast, seemingly never-ending, field of apple trees. Light Patch opened his eyes, took his goggles off, and looked around before looking at Pinkie, who had yet to remove her eyewear. “You can take the goggles off now.”
“Nuts to that! Not until you tell me if we’ve been Meat Circus’d or not,” the teen replied, her eyes still clamped shut under the goggles.
“We seem to be fine,” he said, watching as Pinkie took the goggles off and looked around.
“So, do I wanna know how these goggles protect me from being you-know-what’s?” Pinkie said, looking at the goggles.
“No, I- It’s not that. Meat Circus was a level in a game where two characters nightma-” Light Patch paused. “You know what? I’ll ‘splain later. We got stuff to get done.” He waved it off and looked around.
“Well, why do we have the goggles then?” she asked, stowing hers back in her hair.
“Uh… Well, mostly because the main character in the game had them.”
“Well, why’d he put them on, then?”
“To take them off again?”
“Oh great, so they’re the flippy eye piece from the science fiction movies,” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Alright, so what do we do now?”
Light patch dramatically looked towards Pinkie Pie, and swiftly lowered his goggles back over his eyes before, in his best deep alien commander voice, he replied. “We die,” he said, earning a glare from Pinkie.
“I think I get why Rarity kept kicking you now,” she replied coolly.
“Right, poor timing, got it. I guess now we go and try to find Applejack until we find her or something else catches our intere-” Light Patch was cut off by a the sound of something shouting ‘no’. He turned to find several short flannel-clad and cowboy-hatted people surrounding them, each one menacingly wielding a stamp with a crossed out circle.
“Uh, what are these?” Pinkie said, looking at the ranch-hand-themed agents around them.
“Well, if we were playing by the games rule’s, they’d be known as Censors; whose jobs are to weed out thoughts and ideas that don’t belong in your head. I suspect that these might be representations of the Applejack’s mind and-or subconscious trying to fight the spell,” he replied, looking at the circle of them closing in.
“Why don’t they look like me and Applejack’s other friends and family? Like mine did?”
“Maybe the spell has a stronger hold over Applejack than it did you?” Light Patch guessed. “So maybe it’s drawing inspiration from our minds somehow.”
“I’m gonna try something,” Pinkie said as she stepped forward. “You know us. You know me. I’m Pinkie Pie. I’m your friend, and I’m here to help you.” She looked at the Censor that most resembled Applejack’s older brother. “You know something that doesn’t belong here is trying to control you. That’s why you took your inspiration from those Censor things Light Patch knows of. That's why you came after us; because we’re not from here. But I promise, we’re here to help. But we can’t help if you don’t let us.”
The figment of Applejack’s mind still looked skeptical of Pinkie Pie, but seemed to be listening, prompting her to continue. “I know this is something you can do on your own, but please, we’re here and we wish to help. Don’t let your pride turn down help when it’s offered to you. Not again.” Pinkie finished by extending her hand towards the figment. All of the figments began to look conflicted, and glanced with more and more varied expressions before finally some decision seemed to have been reached. Just as a barking sound broke the silence and a figment of the Apple family pet appeared.
The dog happily scrambled up to them and slobbered over Pinkie’s extended hand before excitedly running around the two teens twice, when it suddenly bolted in a direction, barking at them to try and get them to follow it. Without worrying about it too much, they quickly sprinted after the dog, following its trail through the apple orchard.
After a while, the two teens were able to make out the low murmur of a large crowd ahead of them, and soon after they saw the crowd come into sight, as well as a representation of one of the Apple family barns; but twisted in the way only a dream can twist a familiar building.
The two slowed down and carefully exited the orchard to find themselves at the back of a gathering of people in suits. “Guess we found her an- Pinkie, what are you wearing?” Light Patch asked when he had turned to face the girl.
“A disguise,” she replied, slapping a fake moustache onto Light Patch’s face.
“Why?”
“So we can blend in and get to Applejack!” she answered, using a pink marker to draw a tie on her shirt. Light Patch rolled his eyes and took the fake moustache off of his face, stepping forward to get closer to the front of the crowd, only for it to suddenly thicken in front of him. He moved some to the side, and the blockage shifted with him. Getting mad, he tried to force his way through, only for them to push him back with various small glares. He was about to try forcing his way through even harder when he felt Pinkie push him aside, and walk right into the group without a problem.
Light Patch looked at the fake moustache still in his hand, and sighed before slapping it back on his face and pushing through the crowd. There was still resistance, but the moustache seemed to be enough for him to get through. As he moved closer, the sound of Applejack talking got louder, but still was garbled by the murmur of the crowd. It wasn’t until he reached the front, next to Pinkie, when Applejack’s speech finally cleared enough for him to make sense of it.
“It seems like the spell is fighting. I’m going to assume that it means the others are making good progress,” Light Patch carefully whispered to Pinkie, earning a small nod from her, but her focus was still on Applejack.
“So then, like I said, we make all our deliveries on time. And not just that, but we got them even more apples than they were expecting. Mah family and I have been doing good business with them since,” Applejack said proudly, preening at the sound of the impressed business people around her.
“We’ll invest fifteen percent more,” one shouted.
“We’ll invest an extra thirty!” came another voice.
“This doesn’t seem as bad as I was expecting it to be. I figured we’d have to fight some kind of giant apple-monster or something,” Light Patch said before looking at the concerned and hurt look on Pinkie Pie
“That's not true,” Pinkie said, turning to look at Light Patch.
“What's not true?”
“They did deliver more than ordered to that store, but that's because they accidently gave them the order meant for another place. They had to turn back and pick up the extra crates. They were lucky both orders were for the same apples, or they wouldn’t have made their deliveries on time.”
“Okay, credit where credit is due, spell. That’s devilishly clever; lying by telling the truth,” Light Patch muttered quietly.
“It’s called paltering.” Pinkie supplied.
“Whatever it’s called, it’s a clever twisting of the element that pony Applejack represents,” Light Patch replied.
“I guess,” Pinkie said, glaring at Applejack as she continued, unaware of their conversation.
“Discord seems to enjoy doing things like that. Forcing us see things differently, like looking at ourselves through a funhouse mirror,” Light Patch idly noted as he rubbed his chin. “It’s a clever way for him to force the chaos of change on those around him.” Light Patch looked over at Pinkie Pie to find her glaring at him now.
“Can we stop admiring the god-like being of power who’s indirectly messing with me and my friends right now?” she menacingly asked.
“Uh, yeah, sorry. I was just trying to figure out how this spell was supposed to work. It seems to be based on twisting the elements that the Elements of Harmony are based on. Make them act counter to their elements to better understand the dangers of over exemplifying it, perhaps,” Light Patch said.
“But she’s not being overly truthful. She’s using partial truths to lie.”
“Okay, so maybe Discord forgot halfway through and got lazy, or went a different direction.”
“So how do we break Applejack out from the spell?” Pinkie asked. Light Patch shrugged.
“If they were over exemplifying, I’d say make them act counter to the element. As it is, maybe just forcing her to tell the truth about something would work?” Light Patch replied.
“Right,” Pinkie said, rolling up the sleeves of the business suit she was suddenly wearing. “Lemme at her!” she cried before bursting forward from the crowd. “Excuse me, miss Applejack? I’m from Buisness Buisness Inc.”
“Ah bet you wanna hear about the time I managed to bake four times as many pies when I only had the time to make a quarter of them, right?” Applejack asked.
“I’ve only heard it twenty-three times~!” shouted a voice from the back rows, who Pinkie waved off absently.
“Actually, I was hoping to hear about the first time you tried to make an Æblekage?” Pinkie asked, being one of the events she was more familiar with, and being one of Applejack’s failures that would be hard to palter about.
“Oh, ah, you mean when we expanded our offerings to cultural dishes from around the world?” Applejack said, bouncing back with some ease.
“I’ve heard you swore off ever making Æblekage again, though.”
“Erm, well...” Applejack hesitated.
“What is a aebl ekage?” one of the business people whispered to Light Patch.
“Danish Apple Cake.” the teen replied eliciting look of understanding.
Pinkie continued. “Is it true you spent an entire day failing to not burn the Rusk?”
“It is true that Ah spent an entire day perfecting my recipe,” Applejack replied, a small bead of sweat working its way down her forehead.
“I thought you just went and bought some from the store at the end?” Pinkie asked.
“Ah...” Applejack began to sweat.
“Also, what about the fact that you kept having to redo the apple filling because you kept picking the wrong type of apples?”
“Ah was testing various flavor profiles,” Applejack said, now sweating heavily at the looks of the business people.
“And what about the flavorings? Or that you’d overcook it?” Pinkie continued.
Applejack was stammering and sweating heavily as she looked around at the hard stares from the various business people around her. “Why did you keep making mistakes?” Pinkie pressed, looking at Applejack. “Why couldn’t you keep the recipe straight?” Applejack began to shake and look distressed before she suddenly calmed down, her fist unclenching.
“Ah couldn’t keep the recipe straight cause some relatives from outside the country were coming, an’ Ah wanted to make something for’em from their home. But I got so nervous because I was focused on trying to make it right, and I just couldn’t get any of it right. I ended up having to go to my friend Pinkie Pie to get it done.” Applejack pulled her hat down to cover her face.
“You still make the best apple pies I’ve ever had,” Pinkie said, having removed her disguise.
“Yeah, but Ah ain’t a baker like you when it comes to breads,” Applejack said, closing the distance and hugging her friend. “So, where are we?”
“Light Patch and I are in your mind!” Pinkie said, suddenly next to Light Patch with an arm around his shoulder.
“And here I was afraid I was becoming a secondary character in what would be one of my chapters in a fanfic,” Light Patch muttered before Pinkie, still smiling cheekily, tightened her grip on him, causing the teen to flail.
“So yeah, apparently the Hydra used some kind of trap spell on us, and the guys had to enter our minds to help us break free,” Pinkie said, seemingly ignoring the struggling teen in her grasp.
“Ah. So, uh, now that we’ve got that all sorted, how do we get out?” Applejack said, hoping it wasn’t one of those ‘die in here, die in real life’ situations as she observed the shades of blue Light Patch was turning. Suddenly, Pinkie let go of the teen and he stumbled away, taking deep breaths to catch his breath before pulling a weird capsule out of his pocket.
“I figured this would show up when it’s time to leave,” he said, pulling it open.
“What is it?” Applejack said, looking at it closer.
“Smelling salts. One whiff, and even the dead should arise,” Light Patch said, just before shoving it right under Pinkie’s nose, causing the pink-skinned teen to reel back in disgust before suddenly disappearing.
“Guess it’s my turn, since I’m the other intruder.” Light Patch said, gagging slightly as he caught a half-wiff, then pulling it close enough for a half-decent sniff before he retched and disappeared as well.
Applejack looked around at the barn and apple fields that stretched on seemingly forever. “Ah’ll bet this still don’t smell as bad as the time the pig slop got mixed up with the fish trimmings.” She found that she was sorely mistaken, and then suddenly her vision swam as the landscape around her began to fade away to black.