//------------------------------//
// Chapter 22: The Catch 
// Story: Caverns & Cutie Marks: High School, High Stakes 
// by TheColtTrio 
//------------------------------//

Not ten minutes later, Purple Heart and Bael collapsed on the living room couch in the boy’s temporary quarters on the Canterlot High campus. The elder purple teen sucked air in as deeply as he could to reacquire much needed oxygen. Bael simply picked at his teeth, searching for any unwelcome insect visitors.
“You think that what’s causing all the strange shenanigans is a fourth villain suited specifically for the mares?” Bael asked, flicking a scraped bug off his fingernail.
“Yeh,” Purple Heart wheezed. “Discord wouldn’t want anyone to be left out of the chaos and madness. I think...”
Bael snorted. “How comunist of him.” The shrunken villain eased himself off the couch and meandered through to the kitchen. “Anything to eat in here?” he called.
“Seriously? You’re thinking of food now of all times?” Purple Heart groaned.
“I’m hungry!” was the petulant response. “I’m a growing boy! I need my four basic food groups!”
Purple Heart flared his nostrils and arched an eyebrow. “And what four food groups art thou referring too, o’ shrunken one?”
“Pizza, ramen, sushi, and smoothies.”
“...I mean… those kinda count.”
Bael wondered back into the living room, one hand cradling a bag of chips and the other gripping a soda bottle.
“Pizza has carbs, protein, and veggies. Ramen is carbs and sodium. Sushi is fish protein. Smoothie is fruit and natural sugars,” Bael listed.
Blue eyes narrowed. “What about those?” Purple Heart asked, indicating the chips and soda. Bael looked down, then back up.
“Elemental Artifacts of Fire and Ice.”
Purple Heart’s blinked once. “Oh.”
A series of footsteps pounded outside, followed by a muffled “Whoop!” and a heavy thud against the front door. A few seconds later, the door clicked open and a pair of Wits End’s entered the living room; the one with long hair holding a book, and the one with shorter hair holding his own nose.
“A-are you sure you’re alright?” Witstang asked.
“I’m fine,” Wits replied nasally. “My face and the door worked together to break my fall.” He shook his head and looked over the pair of brothers. “What’s the small, sassy child doing here?”
Bael reddened while Purple Heart snorted a laugh. “WHO YOU CALLING BEANSPROUT, YOU TEN INCH SACK OF MEAT?!” the teenage villain bawled. “See?! I can make references too!”
“Yeah, yeah, great.” Wits turned to Purple Heart. “Can you send him to go play outside, or whatever young people do? We’ve got some serious business to discuss involving our mutual mix-and-match friend.”
Witstang glanced between his counterpart and Bael. “Isn’t it b-bad he’s seen us both in the s-same room?”
“It’s fine,” Wits said with a dismissive wave of his hand in the direction of the youngest teen. “His generation has a short attention span. He’ll forget he was in this room in like 40 minutes.”
Purple Heart swallowed audibly and lifted a hand towards Wits End. “Ehm, I wouldn’t say that-”
“He’s gotten more poncy, hasn’t he?” Bael remarked, flicking a green thread towards the elder Wits End. Within mere seconds, Wits’ mouth was sutured shut. “Much better.”
Purple Heart sighed. “Dammit, Wits,” he groaned. “That’s Bael.”
The mint-colored teen’s initial panic, and frantic pawing at his mouth, was cut short. He paused, and looked back at Bael. His eyebrows narrowed, and he turned back to Purple Heart, one eyebrow raised in the universal gesture of ‘Really? This guy?’
“Boy, the way you described him on the r-ride back,” Witstang said, bending slightly to put himself at eye-level with Bael,” I was expecting someone more… demony. And w-with bird-legs.” He offered a hand. “It’s… interesting to m-meet you, demon-villain-person.”
Bael allowed a trace of a grin to curl his lips. He set down his soda and grasped the proffered hand. “Remarkable,” he mused, “a version of you with manners. Chip?” He offered the bag.
Purple Heart snorted. “The reason he’s pint-sized is because he’s possessing Heart Burn, Local Purple Heart’s brother.”
Wits took a moment to process the information. With a sigh through his nose, he shrugged before pointing at his mouth and raising a meaningful eyebrow.
“Ah, right.” Bael flicked his finger and the thread dissipated. “I’d ask if you had any more smart remarks, but then again, it’s you.”
“I liked you better when Purple Heart was beating the stuffing out of you,” Wits retorted. “So what, we’re friends with the ringleader of Team Horse-Rocket now?” he asked Purple Heart. “Follow-up question: where’s Patchy? I thought he’d be at home, holding down the couch to make sure it doesn’t get any funny ideas.”
Wincing, Purple Heart laughed lightly. “Considering Bael is the only one I know of that has powers and we’re possibly facing a fourth villain, I’d say having him on our side is more good than bad,” he replied. “As for Light Patch, I haven’t the fog-” the sound of the front door slamming open and the whine of its hinges cut Purple Heart off.
“WHERE'S THE TINFOIL!” a grey blur screeched as it streaked through the living room. As the sound of the kitchen being pillaged echoed around the shocked teens, a second grey figure entered the living room and quietly looked around.
“I thought that you’d said Light P-Patch was a guy?” Witstang said, looking at the female just staring at their group.
“Listen,” Wits replied flatly. “This day has been weird enough already, so Girl Patch would not be the strangest thing I’ve seen today.”
“Oh…” After a moment, Witstang offered his hand to the grey girl, doing his best to ignore the events in the kitchen. “It’s n-nice to meet you, Light P-Patch.”
“That was a joke!”
“I’m Maud,” the girl stated simply, causing the room to lapse into silence again. Or, at least as quiet as it could as the kitchen was still being raided for every scrap of tinfoil it contained.
“Yoho,” Purple Heart greeted, flinching as a cardboard tube whizzed past him. He glared at the kitchen. “Is he trying to build a moon lander or something?”
Wits watched the tube roll into a corner. “I think the moon lander would take less foil than th-” With speed that light wished it could imitate, Light Patch darted back into the room, his eyes wide and seeming to dart to every corner of the room independent of each other. He grabbed the shoulders of Witstang and began to shake him.
“We need to run or hide or do something!” he said, clearly panic stricken.
The long-haired teen’s eyes rolled about in his head at the sudden assault. “I-I-I’m not b-built for comedic slapstick!” he shouted, every few syllables being forced out harder by the shaking.
“They come to get us! It got him and we’re next! WE'RE NEXT!” Light Patch punctuated his statement by shaking the poor teen even harder. Which also drew more attention to the strange choice of headwear Light Patch was currently wearing.
Wits grabbed a hold of Light Patch by the arms, dragging him off of his dazed counterpart. “Stop shaking the alternate universe me! It’s weirding this me out!” Using his grip on the grey teen’s arm, he slapped him in the face with his own hand, setting the tin foil hat spinning. “Now chill out! There’s enough strangeness going on without you freaking out on us!”
Light Patch took a few deep breaths in and out, trying to steady himself. “Sorry. I may have worked myself up on the sprint back to here. I think we have a huge problem.”
“Yeah, add it to the pile with all the rest,” Wits replied. “We can put it next to Selim Bradley and the book talking about the great bloody lizard.” With each issue mentioned, he jerked his head first at Bael, and then at the tome in the stunned Witstang’s hands. After a moment of thought, he turned back to Maud. “You don’t have any bad news to add in, do you? This seems like a good time for it.”
“I think I forgot to feed my pet rock this morning,” she stated.
“And Just Duty’s been mind controlled, and is actively hunting Bael,” Light Patch said, adjusting his tinfoil hat so the single ear flap wasn’t covering his face anymore.
“Eeyup, figured something was hunting Bael,” Purple Heart agreed. “Turns out, those infected parasite animals from the game world? Made by the fourth villain. The one for the girls. Can I just up and say BLEEP Discord?”
“Because of course he had to pad it all out with a fourth special boss.” Light Patch collapsed into an empty chair. “So, there was a fourth boss for the girls, and it’s probably here and has some kind of mind control powers and may or may not be trying to turn this world into the game’s world. Did that just about sum it up or did I miss something?”
The two Wits’ looked at each other, sighed, and Witstang tossed the book aside. “So everyone figured that out already, huh?” Wits muttered. “Nearly got killed by wolves for a book and apparently it went out on Twitter or something…”
“At least w-we found out it’s a Hydra?” Witstang offered. “And that each head was inspired b-by one of your female friends! Six heads, six girls, and such.”
“Don’t try to make me feel better,” Wits sulked. “Does that book say anything useful that hasn’t been covered by observing local wildlife and public officials?”
Witstang picked up the book again and flipped it open to the tabbed page. “Uh… It’s got the flavor t-text for how it gets away at th-the end of the adventure?”
“That sounds mildly useful,” Light Patch commented.
“First of all,” Wits said,” you look ridiculous. I mean, one ear flap and no brim? Come on, man.” He turned back to his counterpart. “Secondly, that might give us an idea of how it got here, and if it’s possible to banish it back to the Shadow Realm. What’s it say?”
Witstang scanned the page for a few seconds before he started reading aloud. “‘After the defeat of Holdfast, Just Duty, and Bael, the Hydra becomes concerned about the possibility of the the Material Plane unraveling without the influence of the Greatest God of Chaos and Good Looks. It uses the power abandoned by the party to open a portal to another plane, where it escapes to safely. Feel free to use this as a hook for a continuation of this adventure.’” He let out the rest of his breath. “Chaos and G-good Looks?”
“Discord is an idiot,” Purple Heart swore under his breath.
“What about me?” Bael piped up. “I came to this place first.”
“It’s been a while since we got back from Roania,” Purple Heart pointed out. “Perhaps the Hydra needed time to accrue the needed mana to make the jump.”
“What about time dilation-”
“Don’t even go there. My brain hurts enough as is.”
Bael harrumphed and puffed out his cheeks, munching on a handful of chips.
“Lets keep any idea of time shenanigans outta this until we have to acknowledge them.” Light Patch said as sagely as anyone wearing a tinfoil and colander hat. “My real question is why is it trying to change this world?”
“We’d all love to change the world,” Wits mused dryly, “but let’s leave the references at the door for a moment. If it left to avoid the end of one world, it doesn’t really have much to gain by messing with this one. Especially if it’s an optional boss. They don’t usually have super complex plans, since they can’t affect the main plot.”
“Maybe it’s sharpening its beak on a rock,” Maud deadpanned. 
Wits, who had forgotten the mare was there, turned back to face her. “Maybe it’s- what?”
Maud shifted her dull stare to the mint-colored teen. “In order to be at top performance, some birds sharpen their beaks on objects such as branches and ro-”
“Yeah, I saw that episode of Doctor Who too. Was that just a non-sequitur or is there a big reveal in this?”
With a slow blink, Maud continued. “If, as you said, this Hydra doesn’t have very deep motivations, it may simply be acting on basic instincts. Since it’s a villain, those instincts may include taking over the world it was created in. It can’t do that in this world, so it might be trying to recreate its own world in order to take it over.”
Wits’ mouth moved silently for a moment. “Okay, that’s a pretty good reveal.”
“Thank you.”
“So what we’ve got is a scorned optional boss intent on re-creating this pastel human world into one it recognizes,” Purple Heart stated, “I.E, a pastel pony world.” He exhaled a massive breath. “Great. Now what? Do we wait for the girl-” He was interrupted with the front door crashing open followed promptly by Pinkie Pie dashing into the living room with Rainbow Dash in hot pursuit.
“I ordered pizza!” Pinkie declared, waving her cell phone gleefully.
“I wanted hamburgers!” Rainbow Dash snapped, grabbing for the phone clutched in Pinkie’s outstretched hand.
“Hamburger joints don’t deliver,” Applejack said as she wandered in with Rarity, Fluttershy, Sunset, Science Twilight, and Side Track. Rainbow whirled around and jabbed a thumb into her chest.
“I will make them deliver!” Rainbow decided. Side Track blinked and waved happily at Wits End and Witstang.
“Looks like you two survived the wolves,” she said cheerfully. The rest of the girls balked and turned to see the rest of the living room’s occupants.
“Oh,” Rarity coughed. “We didn’t think you’d be here.”
The three resident boys stared.
“We live here,” Purple Heart retorted.
“Ever since we were thrown out of the palace!” Bael cried, throwing his empty bag of chips away.
“We’re not Yzma, stop it,” Purple Heart ordered, pointing at the chibi villain.
“To b-be fair,” Witstang murmured, moving more towards one corner of the room, “we m-might not have been here. What with the w-wolves and everything.”
“Yeah, thanks for the warning on that by the way,” Wits said, jabbing a finger at Side Track. “It would’ve been nice to know we were walking into a pack of chainsaws with fur and teeth before they surrounded us.”
Side Track chuckled, holding her chin in the crock between her thumb and forefinger. “I knew you would be alright! This is just further proof that the Othersiders have plans for you that require your survi-”
“Don’t start on that,” Wits interrupted. “There’s enough crazy stuff going on already.”
“Crazy stuff?” Sunset latched onto the phrase. “What crazy stuff? Did you three get in trouble again?”
“No, no. Everything is fine,” Light Patch said calmly. “We were all fine here just having a nice day free of mind control, wooden wolves, and secrete dimensional travelers.” He looked around at the others. “Or demons for short,” he added as an afterthought while adjusting his hat.
Sunset’s eyes narrowed as she stared at the assembled boys. “One of you,” she stated, “is going to tell me what’s going on, starting some time in the next ten seconds.”
“Or else what?” Wits asked. He winced at the look that was shot in his direction. “That bad, huh? Yikes.”
Sunset raised a menacing eyebrow. “Eight seconds.”
Witstang broke immediately; a combination of terrible social skills and the previously unknown experience of being in close contact with multiple women being a lethal combination. “We found out that there’s a-”
The teen’s confession was cut short by the sound of the front door creaking open. Slow, methodical footfalls made their way from the hall into the living room. The group turned to see Holdfast round the corner, his eyes widening momentarily in a mixture of surprise and amusement. A wry smirk spread across his face as he leaned comfortably against the wall, meeting eyes with each teen in turn, lingering on the two Witses, before resting on Bael. His lips parted, bearing teeth in a grin as he prepared to speak.
The back door to the house banged open and everyone turned to look towards the kitchen as Just Duty barged in. “Not a step Bael, we know you’re here. We won’t let you interfere,” the possessed policeman said, pointing at Heart Burn.
“Oh for the love of every dead star in the sky!” Holdfast exclaimed, turning his glare on Just Duty. All amusement had drained from his expression. “Really? Of all possible times, the useless paladin chooses now, in the moment of my reveal, to choose to display some dramatic timing!” He turned to Wits End, gesturing towards the policeman. “Do you see what I had to deal with? This, if nothing else, would have turned me to evil just to get him out of my mane.” He shot a look back at Just Duty. “Get in line, goody horseshoes. I was here first.”
Just Duty’s eyes remained locked on Bael as the Hydra addressed Holdfast. “The paladin fell with the other world. That being has already played a part in the death of it. Do you wish for him to assist in this one’s demise?” He replied his hand twitching over his belt.
Bael blinked. “Whut?” he grunted intelligently. “World ending? Are you seriously lumping me in with things like Unicron, Father, the Yamato, Dormammu, the Friend-Zone, the Harvesters, the Drej, the CORE, the Whale Probe, the ARM, the Tyranids, broad-side battleships, the Vogons, Zeus’ Libido, Bethesda’s Playerbase, and Common Sense?”
Twilight jerked and stared at Bael. “Okay, even I don’t recognize some of those,” she muttered.
“Threats to be dealt with in due time. But first, the one before us,” Just Duty said. “We don’t know why you followed us to this world. But your reasons don’t matter. We won’t help you in your plans. And you won’t be allowed to interfere with ours,” the Hydra continued as Just Duty took a step towards Bael.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Holdfast took a step more towards Just Duty than towards Bael, putting his hand out. “What did I just say? I’m taking the little demonspawn and getting out of here. I’m not about to let that mismatched monstrosity put me back in a little glowing box again.”
“Glowing box?” Wits asked.
“The adults are talking, boy. Keep your mouth shut.” Holdfast narrowed his eyes at the creature possessing Just Duty. “I don’t know who or what you are, but I think both you and the idiot you’re borrowing know it’s a bad idea to make any sort of ruckus that can be heard on campus. Isn’t that right?”
“It’s nothing a little more mind magic won’t fix. And besides, I know little of this planet's history, but this school is not unknown for strangeness. That much I do know.”
“Don’t you just hate it when we get ignored?” Purple Heart asked, directing his gaze to his fellow male compatriots and the unusual number of girls. “Feels like we’re the side characters.”
“PH, stop breaking the fourth wall, that’s my job,” Pinkie chided, whacking the teen with a pizza box. Applejack coughed.
“So from what I can gather,” she mused, “this Hydra thing came to this world expecting to have free reign, but it turns out Bael somehow got here and now the Hydra is paranoid, so it decided to hijack the local Just Duty to hunt for Bael. How does Holdfast fit in to all this?”
“‘Mismatched monstrosity’ probably means Discord,” Sunset muttered. “He probably held on to him after the game was over, and sent him here looking for Bael.”
“Wh-what makes you say that?” Witstang asked.
Sunset looked back at him. “As a reformed villain, it’s what I would do if I had one bad guy on the loose, and another in reserve that I could control. Plus, it sounds like the sort of thing he’d do to overly complicate things here.”
“She ain’t wrong,” Wits mumbled.
“So what do we do?” Side Track asked, pulling off her eyepatch to see with both eyes. “We can’t just give this Bael kid up, right?”
“I don’t think we need to worry about Bael,” Purple Heart commented, eyeing the increasingly rowdy pair of adults. “They seem to be too busy shouting at each other to notice anything.”
“I still think we should at least get him out of here,” Fluttershy added. “He looks scared.” Bael looked anything but. He’d acquired another bag of chips and was tossing them back like popcorn as he watched Holdfast and Just Duty argue.
“If you will not stand aside we will make you!” the Hydra shouted, taking a clumsy swing at Holdfast. The white-haired man took a step back, the blow stinging against his arm.
Holdfast winced; partially in pain, but mostly in exasperation. “Really? Fighting with hoofticuffs? I’m really not at young as I use to be, you know.”
“Good,” the Hydra said, solidifying its control on Just Duty’s body. “That means you’ll be easier to clear as the obstacle you are to us.”
With a sneer, Holdfast reached into his coat. “I was hoping to need this for the daemon twerp,” he growled, “but as much as I despise taking any help from Discord, I’m going to enjoy seeing what it will do to you more.” He retrieved a long, twisted metal rod, topped with what appeared to be three screaming, smiling heads. The tip glowed with a pulsing, chaotic energy.
Upon seeing the rod, the two Witses blanched and backed away. “Unless you wanna be a sweet roll,” Wits said, “we should go.”
“Sweet rolls?!” Pinkie cried, eyes darting around the room in search of pastries. “Where?!”
“Everywhere if we don’t scoot now!” Purple Heart bellowed, dragging anyone in arms reach towards the door. “FLEE~!”
Wits grabbed Witstang and bolted after Purple Heart. “RNJesus, don’t fail us now!”
Light Patch and Maud grabbed Pinkie and followed the rest of the group. Unable to resist, Light Patch looked back just in time to see the Hydra use its magic to summon a spear to fight with.
“You fight with your own life. We merely fight with a pawns.” He just barely heard the hydra say using Just Duty’s voice before he followed through the window the rest had left by.
“Ohh, you cut me to the quick, sir!” Holdfast called back. “I suppose I’ll just have to take out some long-standing frustrations!” His last words were punctuated by a burst of light emanating from the rod, and a sound like laughing thunder.
Bael watched on raptly, chomping on chips with childish amusement clearly etched into his face as he watched the old people smackdown.