//------------------------------//
// Chapter 20: Thinking With Portal Puzzles 
// Story: Caverns & Cutie Marks: High School, High Stakes 
// by TheColtTrio 
//------------------------------//

“Well,” Wits End muttered, looking over the series of red ‘X’s that covered his biology quiz, “at least I know what mitochondria is…”
“Resistance Member 003!”
Wits froze in his seat. “Oh no,” he whispered. “I thought that was just a side adventure.”
A slender light-red hand slapped onto Wits’ desk. The girl glared at him with her one eye not hidden by an eyepatch. “Come with me.”
“Hello, Side Track,” Wits said. “Good to see you too. Haven’t seen you in a couple… Are you wearing a Neighponese schoolgirl’s uniform?”
Side Track placed a hand on her chest. “Uniforms are important for hiding the identities of resistance members like myself.” 
Wits looked around at the decidedly non-uniformed teens around them. “...Kay.”
“Now, come with me. The Society for Ongoing Survival Brigade has business to discuss.”
With a sigh, Wits stood and followed the red-haired girl into the hall. “Can’t we just call it the Resistance or Rebellion or something? It worked in Star Wars.”
Side Track turned around, leaning with her back against the wall and her arms crossed over her chest. “The Mystery Lord Kibarashi has a task for you, Resistance Member 003.”
“Hang on.” Wits held out a hand. “Before we get to your particular brand of craziness, I have a question. What are you doing here in Canterlot High? Aren’t you a Crystal Prep student with the other me?”
“Huh?” Side Track tilted her head to one side. “I’ve always been an C.H.S. student. Why else would I be-” She froze, then spun about so that her back was to Wits. “I-I mean!” She placed one hand over her eyepatch and let out a forced chuckle. “My place in this establishment of evil intent has been cultivated over many years! No-one would even suspect a drone like this would be the leader of the Resistance!”
“Oh, now we’re calling it the Resistance again…”
“Listen up!” Side Track spun about again, pointing a finger at Wits. “Otherside- woah…” She stumbled slightly, a wave of dizziness passing over her. Once it passed, she continued. “Othersider agents are in motion, and changes are occurring faster than we could have anticipated. Just yesterday, there were reports of a carriage pulled by brightly colored horses riding down main street. Things are getting out of hand.”
“Maybe it’s just a horse of a different color?” Wits waited for a moment, his smirk faltering at Side Track’s unchanging expression. “Get it? Horse of a Different Color? Like from The Wizard of Oz?”
“I’ve never seen it.”
Wits’ eyebrows almost shot into his hairline. “You’ve never seen- How have you never seen The Wizard of Oz?! It’s one of my childhood favorites!”
Side Track crossed her arms again. “Isn’t that movie, like, seventy years old?” She watched as the color drained from his face, and he slowly turned to lean his head against the wall. “Are you alright?”
“Leave this old man be. Soon the elves shall come to take him West, across the sea to Valinor.”
“Didn’t that movie come out more than a decade ago?”
Wits clutched his chest over his heart. “Are you actually trying to kill me? ‘Cause you’re doing an amazing job of it so far.”
“Resistance Mem-”
“I mean, it hurt enough to bring up how old it is, but referring specifically to the movies and not the books? I’m seein’ a dark tunnel with a light at the end here.”
Side Track pouted. “Look, this isn’t as fun if we’re both being overly dramatic for completely different reasons, so can we get back to-”
There’s something odd about main street. 
The words flitted through Side Track’s mind like an errant thought. Why would I think that? she thought. I already know there’s something going on. That’s what I’m talking to otherworld Wits about.
Isn’t it strange that the carriage would pass by so many homes? The thoughts passed through so easily, yet stuck around in a way that felt… odd. Surely if there was anything untoward going on, it would stay out of the public eye.
The red teen girl frowned, her focus now completely aimed inward. There’s a castle in the suburbs, she thought at the thoughts. We’re well past staying out of the public eye. What’s going on here?
For a moment, Side Track felt an enormous pressure on her; like something powerful was focused in on her. There was a flash of what she could only describe as two red eyes glaring at her inside her mind. Investigate the houses here. This time, the words reverberated inside her skull, along with an image of townhomes lining Main Street. It is the only reasonable thing to do.
“Yo, Dark Flame Master wannabe.” Wits End waved a hand in front of Side Track’s face. “You alright?”
Side Track blinked, and the pressure vanished. “Did you feel that?”
“Feel what?”
“I don’t know. A…” She waved her hands nonspecifically. “Like a… menacing presence or something.”
“Menacing presence?” Wits thought for a moment. “Sounds like the work of an enemy Stand. Listen, unless you’ve got something else to talk about, I gotta get to next class. I can’t be failing every quiz the teachers pass out if I’m gonna keep my… what did you call it? My place in this establishment of evil intent?”
For a while, Side Track was silent. The pressure might have passed, but the image of the townhouses remained, along with another fainter image. “I need you,” she said eventually. “Go get Witstang and check out the forest north of the park we met at.”
“Forest?” Wits End raised an eyebrow. “Now? Why? Something there?”
“I don’t know. Just…” The teenage girl looked Wits in the eye. “Trust me on this. Something’s there.”
“Something more important than my G.P.A.?” Wits held up a finger, stalling Side Track’s response. “Forget I asked. That look is enough of an answer for me.”
Side Track’s expression went blank. “That is the most dramatic and cheesy line I have ever heard in my entire life.”
“You’re the last person I want to hear that from.” The mint-colored teen ducked back into the classroom to grab his backpack, then returned. “I’ve got one condition, though. I want you and my counterpart to stop by the place we’re staying at on campus after school. And tell Twilight and her friends to meet us there too.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Because I did the whole ‘do side quests without telling the party’ thing before, and it didn’t turn out well.” He paused for a moment. “If me and myself don’t show up by 7:00, you folks should call the police and mount a search party.” With a smirk, he leaned in slightly. “Or are you afraid to meet my friends before we go on our first date?”
Wits’ question earned him a shove to the face. “Th-the Mystery Lord Kibarashi does not go on mortal d-dates!” Side Track exclaimed, turning away to hide her blush. “Such relationships are forbidden by the Twelve Edicts of Eternal Darkness! Just get to work! For the good of the Resistance!”
Wits watched as Side Track dashed away, vanishing into the crowd of students as they migrated from one classroom to another. “I miss the card that got me points for doing that,” he muttered, shrugging his backpack on as he headed for the exit. Behind him, a small paper card with several holes punched through it floated in the air. Silently, another hole was punched out of the card.


* * *


“‘Not a good monologue’ my ass,” Purple Heart grumbled as he stomped out of the theater. Nearby students scrambled out of his path, not keen on being trampled by the large teen. Purple Heart huffed and whirled to face the doors he’d just come through. “You wouldn’t know a good monologue if it fell out of the sky and hit you on the head!” He turned back to the corridor, face twisted into a dark scowl. “Now I know why that place had good acoustics. It’s for musical theater.”
His furious walking carried him a few intersections away from the theater, during which the purple teen continued to grumble under his breath.
“As if reciting the soliloquy from Shakespeare’s Richard III whilst, and at the same time, playing tuned chickens wasn’t enough, the blasted bint wanted me to do it in SONG!” Purple Heart sneered. “Yes, Shakespeare often wrote in verse, but that does not mean it should be SUNG!” His shout echoed through the halls for several seconds as he inhaled deeply and exhaled to calm himself. His stomping resumed.
Several more intersections went by along with several scurrying students. He stopped again, this time leaning against the lockers lining the wall.
“Should’ve done Dogberry,” he snorted. “That’s in prose. No way you can sing that. ‘Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass. But masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.’ Aye?” The two students nodded vigorously, shaking like leaves under Purple Heart’s weighty glare.
“Purple Heart, please come to the Principal’s office. Purple Heart, please come to the Principal’s office.”
With a massive groan, Purple Heart eyed the ceiling. “Great. Now I’m the bad guy. I bet it’s those little jerks complaining about my less than stellar behaviour. Lovely.” More swears floated over the teenager’s shoulder as he stalked away, leaving the two students shivering against the lockers long after he’d departed.
“I claim innocence,” Purple Heart declared as he strolled into Principal Celestia’s office. “I was under the impression that I was auditioning for a theatrical piece, not a musical.”
“Then maybe you should have read the cast call correctly,” a young voice snarked.
Purple Heart frowned, looking at the chair in front of Celestia’s desk.
“It’s you,” he growled.
“It’s me,” Heart Burn grinned.
The two teens stared at each other for a few seconds only to be shortly interrupted by a throat clearing. The pair broke eye contact and blinked expectantly at Principal Celestia. Luna stood beside her. The sisters grinned at the brothers.
“Young Heart Burn was just telling us an amusing anecdote about you two in your youth,” Celestia mentioned. “Something about a pun war?”
Purple Heart arched an eyebrow, flicking his gaze to Heart Burn. “Pun war? More like a pun rout.”
Heart Burn snickered. “Yeh, that’s true,” he agreed.
“What made it a rout?” Luna inquired.
Purple Heart harrumphed and folded his arms over his chest. “His puns are better than mine,” he mumbled petulantly. Heart Burn grinned widely under the older teen’s glower.
“I’m also faster at coming up with them,” Heart Burn added. Purple Heart’s glower deepened and he muttered under his breath.
Celestia smiled at the interplay between the two teens. “Well, in any case, Purple Heart,” the principal prompted, “I called you here because your mother needs both you and Heart Burn released early today.”
Again, Purple Heart arched an eyebrow at Heart Burn. “Oho? Did she say why?”
“Dentist appointment,” Heart Burn answered. The brothers shuddered simultaneously.
“Charming,” Purple Heart sighed. “Just what I needed to endcap a ‘meh’ day.”
“Quit pouting, onii-chan,” Heart Burn chided. “I’m not exactly enthused about it either. I hate the dentist.”
“On that we can agree,” Purple Heart allowed. “Is she picking us up?”
“Nope.”
“...Then how the hell are we supposed to get to the dentist’s office? Are you driving?”
“...I’m not even 16, you expect me to drive a complicated vehicle with no experience?”
“Yes.”
“...I’ll get you for that, nii-chan.”
“You wish.”
Celestia cleared her throat to get the two teens’ attention. “If you two want to get there in time for your appointment, you might want to get going then,” she suggested. “I’m sure the bus will get you close enough.”
The brothers paused long enough to hear and process what the principal said. “Lady’s got a good idea,” Heart Burn admitted.
“She’s my sister,” Luna sniffed. “She does that rather often.”
Purple Heart shook his head bemusedly and tapped Heart Burn’s. “Let’s get going then. I’m not inclined to stay here watching egoes grow. And I’m most certainly not gonna get cast in the… production that the drama department intends to put on.”
Celestia and Luna frowned, sharing a confused look. Celestia looked back to the brothers. She spoke just as Purple Heart was opening the door to the office.
“Did something go wrong?” she asked. Purple Heart looked back at the administrative sisters and his face twisted into a scowl.
“Yeh,” he fumed. “I can’t sing.” With that, he left, letting the door click shut behind him.
Once again, the sisters frowned and shared a look. “I think we should expect a transfer form on my desk sometime soon,” Luna sighed.
Outside, the brothers were walking down the street towards the bus stop. They’d barely stepped off of Canterlot High grounds when Purple Heart stopped in his tracks and swung around to block Heart Burn’s path.
“Okay, out with it,” he ordered. “We both know that there isn’t a dentist appointment today. Hell, I don’t even know if there’s one coming up. There’s also the small fact that we both know I’m not from here. So spill. Why’d you get us out of class early?” Heart Burn’s grin faded and he exhaled a heavy breath. Right before Purple Heart’s eyes, the younger teen’s disposition seemed to change. His eyes and face went blank as he looked up at Purple Heart. When he spoke, Purple Heart shivered, remembering the last time he’d heard that voice and seen those eyes.
“I can’t take you anywhere, can I?” Bael commented, eyes turning a virulent green. Purple Heart gulped, taking an unconscious step away from the ‘teen’ before him.
“How in the hell are you here?” Purple Heart demanded, hoping that his sudden rush of fear didn’t make it into his voice. Bael rolled his eyes and shook his head at Purple Heart.
“Language,” he tsked. “I’m a young, innocent and impressionable boy. You should know better.”
A bit of starch returned to Purple Heart’s spine and he snorted. “‘Innocent and impressionable’ my ass,” he echoed. “You may be young, but you were never innocent.”
Bael’s eyes sparked. “And whose fault is that?”
“Discord’s.”
“...Okay, you got me there.”
“Would you kindly answer my question?” Purple Heart prodded. “How are you here? Last I saw you, you were a puff of smoke at the base of a tower. Did you get pulled in here thanks to the crossing of worlds?” He frowned, ruminating on their last encounter. “That means you were never beaten.”
Bael snorted and stepped past Purple Heart. “Beaten? No. I was not beaten. I simply accomplished my intended purpose.”
Purple Heart followed after the pint-sized villain. “Intended purpose?”
Bael chuckled. “Are you a parrot or something?” he chortled. “Yes, my intended purpose. The draconequus made me with the sole purpose of antagonizing you, giving you reason to grow. He didn’t plan for the possibility of me gaining self-awareness.”
Purple Heart’s brow furrowed and he paused. “He pulled a Holodeck,” he realized. Bael nodded, looking over his shoulder.
“Unlike Holdfast and Just Duty, Discord had to make me entirely from scratch,” he recounted. “Both the ponies already existed. All the draconequus had to do was jumpstart their plans. Again, he didn’t plan for me to propose an alliance between the three of us to deal with our respective adversaries.”
Purple Heart blinked several times. “So… the whole game going south was your fault?”
Bael grinned. “Eeyup.”
“...I gotta sit.” Not waiting for a response from Bael, Purple Heart shuffled over to a nearby park bench and plopped down, resting an elbow on his knee to cradle his chin in a hand. Bael snorted in amusement and stepped off the sidewalk to join the purple teen. Blue eyes watched the child-sized villain approach warily.
“Why are you so short now? And how are you even here?” Purple Heart asked heatedly, hoping to finally get an answer. Bael’s face went cloudy as he frowned.
“I haven’t the slightest idea why I got saddled with this body,” he admitted, lifting a hand to scrutinize the small palm. “I just woke up in it along with this kid’s memories.” He ignored Purple Heart stiffening at his words and continued speaking, looking skyward. “As for how I got here, I escaped.”
The purple teen arched an eyebrow. “Escaped?” he echoed.
Bael snorted again. “You really are a parrot, aren’t you?” he chortled, grinning widely at the fuming teenager. “Yes, I escaped. After I accomplished my task, I just relaxed on the highest tower of the lowest pe-”
“You aren’t Gandalf.”
“But am I a Balrog?”
“No, cuz I ‘technically’ defeated you and I didn’t get a massive level up for it.”
Bael inclined his head in acquiescence. “True. That aside, I was just relaxing on a tower, looking down at the courtyard and the aftermath of the battle when I saw the draconequus make the portal.” Bael shrugged. “So I went through. And here we are.” He looked at Purple Heart expectantly, interested in how the ex-barbarian would react.
“DAMMIT DISCORD~!”
Thunk.
Bael blinked rapidly, rubbing the side of his face. Purple Heart was kneeling on the park bench, forehead resting on the wooden seat.
“DAMN. BOLLOCKSING. IDIOT. CHAOS. GOD. BELLEND. Why you so stupid?!”
Each word was accompanied by another ‘thunk’ as Purple Heart’s head met the bench over and over. Bael let out an explosive sigh and shook his head. Poor guy needed to get himself a vacation or a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend.
“You need a vacation,” he mused aloud. Purple Heart looked up at Bael, eyes narrowed.
“Where? I don’t exactly have a wide selection of vacationing locales. Or time for that matter.”
A passerby caught the pair’s attention with his suggestion.
“I’d suggest Tahiti,” the black suited man offered.
“It’s a magical place,” Bael and Purple Heart harmonized with the passerby. The two teens blinked and the man was gone, strolling down the street as he whistled.
“Huh,” Purple Heart hummed. “Ever notice how that’s a triggered response? Like Tak-”
“-it’s a beautiful game,” the pair chorused. They shared a look and broke out laughing.
“Seriously though,” Purple Heart wheezed, still giggling, “Discord is an idiot for doing something like that out in the open.”
“Yeh, little bit,” Bael agreed. “Also helps that I still have my powers.”
Purple Heart balked. “Oh really...”
Bael grinned fiendishly. “Yes really. And you don’t. You do the math.”
Purple Heart gave a snort and he rocked to his feet. “You know I hate math,” he grumbled. “And as if I’d want to lose the moral high ground. Attempting to beat up a kid half my size would just be sad. You’d rat me out quicker than humanly possible.”
“True,” Bael allowed. “Whoever has the high ground usually wins. Case and point, 2005.”
“Indeed.” Purple Heart stretched his shoulders and arms above his head. “So, now what? You have successfully pulled me from class and there’s no dentistry to go suffer. Any ideas?”
Bael grinned.
“Actually, I do happen to have a few...”
Purple Heart groaned. Great.


* * *


The Hydra’s frustration was apparent on the face of Just Duty as it piloted him down the street, a scowl etched into the police officer’s features. Finding Bael had proved more difficult than it had expected. Lacking a name for Bael’s identity, it couldn’t track him down using police information. What was most frustrating was that the Hydra’s head hadn’t been carefully monitoring the link, and didn’t see Bael’s identity for itself. And Just Duty was doing an admittedly admirable job of keeping those memories sequestered, causing the scowl to ironically be the only consensus between Just Duty himself and the Hydra head currently in control.
This left the Hydra head with little choice but to come up with the first excuse it could to leave the office and move around town in the hopes that, if seen, something would give Bael away.
“Well, if it isn’t the honorable lawbringer himself.” Holdfast held his ground where the rest of the crowd had parted before Just Duty, a smirk on his face at the look of discontent on the policeman’s face. “What’s wrong? Someone steal a sweetroll from a child? Or perhaps you’re off to go fight for some other form of truth, justice, and so on?”
The Hydra frowned at the sudden verbal assault. “It’s been a bad day spawned from a bad night,” it spoke through Just Duty’s lips before taking a sip of the long cold coffee. It flinched from at the taste. “I don’t suppose there’s a reason you’re confronting me now, is there?”
Holdfast opened his mouth to mention their mutual past, but stopped himself. Right, right, he thought. Alternate universes, different memories. Doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun for myself. He shook his head and grinned. “Maybe I just wanted to pay some respects to such an… important pillar of our community. Although, perhaps I could pick your brain, such as it is, for a moment?” 
The Hydra almost dismissed Holdfast but, worried that these interactions might be common, decided to humor the teacher. “Very well. But let’s keep it a short moment. As it happens, I am on the lookout for someone.”
“I shan't keep you from your appointed duties long, then.” Holdfast cleared his throat, ready to take as much time as he liked. “You see, there’s a man I know who fancies himself to be a sort of lawman himself. I’ve worked with him in the past, but…” He sighed dramatically, keeping one eye on Just Duty for any change in expression. “Well, I just find his endless moralizing and insistence on everything be for ‘justice’ and ‘the greater good’ just gets me,” he chuckled, “chomping at the bit. Tell me, how would you handle such an insufferable pain in the flank like that?”
An eyebrow rose as the Hydra listened, realizing how Holdfast’s description sounded like the version of Just Duty from the game before it quickly forced itself back into a neutral thought. “‘Shut up’ would probably be good start. Not everything is just, and the greater good can mean anything,” the Hydra replied, thinking of how its ‘greater good’ was not so good for the world it was currently on. “Pon- People,” it quickly corrected itself, “don’t like being prothletised at, especially not over such a vague idea. Define a goal, and then quietly work towards it,” it finished resolutely.
“Really?” Holdfast raised an eyebrow. “Surprising words coming from a man with a badge, considering it sounds like something I would do. I hope the sheriff doesn’t practice what he preaches when it comes to holding up the law.” Holdfast took a step closer, peering over his glasses at Just Duty. “It’s a fair sight more adventurous than I would want from a man protecting my rights.”
“Well, just because not everything is just doesn’t mean we should try to make it so,” the Hydra said, quickly backpedaling on its last statements. “And it’s not many who can effect change on their own. I was just saying that some people respond poorly to being hit over the head with the same facts every day.”
“I see…” The corners of Holdfast’s mouth turned down as he studied the policeman in front of him. This is a fair sight different than the self-righteous paladin I know, he thought. “So,” he mused, “would it be fair to, say, change the scenario around him in a way he doesn’t realize, so that he doesn’t realize that he’s changed to match it? It seems like a much easier solution than trying to face him head on.”
The Hydra paused to consider the notion presented to it. “I suppose that could work, but you would want to change the scenario slowly and incrementally. If you try to do it all at once, your friend might notice the change and resist, or call you out on it,” it said, drawing on its own recent experience with change.
“Hmm.” Holdfast was silent for a moment. “Well, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. I feel that I’ve learned quite a bit from talking with you. I’ll let you get back to searching for… who was it again?”
The frustration immediately returned. “I’m not sure. I didn’t really see them, and I don’t have a name.” The Hydra bit back as it attempted to pry at Just Duty’s memories from the encounter once more. “The best I have is the story they told about a sighting of a digitigrade being. I was hoping to just confirm a few things with them,” it finished, jerkily looking around with Just Duty’s head.
Holdfast’s eyebrows raised. “Digitigrade? That’s awfully specific. Who told you about them?”
A growl of frustration slipped out of Just Duty’s mouth. “I just said I don’t know their name. It was in passing, and I didn’t think much of the story until I thought about it later,” the Hydra admitted truthfully.
So not only are we looking for something fitting the same description, but we’re both starting from square one, Holdfast thought. “Hopefully you find something, then,” he said, a smug grin returning to his face. “I’d offer my assistance, but, well, what good would a professor be at investigation, right?” He made a mock bow and motioned for Just Duty to continue, stepping aside but not quite out of his way.
“Thank you,” the Hydra replied as it stepped around Holdfast, currently searching what it could of Just Duty’s memories about the person it had just to deal with. “Enjoy the rest of your day,” it said with a wave, all happy intentions undercut by the jerky curtness of the wave and his tone of voice, as he half-walked, half-jerkily stomped his way down the street.
Holdfast watched Just Duty’s rocky stride away. “Well now,” he muttered once the policeman was out of earshot, “isn’t that interesting?”
“Who are you talking to?” a nearby pedestrian asked.
Holdfast shot a glare at the man, causing him to quickly walk away. “I’ve spent so much time around idiots,” the white-haired former pony sighed, “I’m starting to talk to myself like them too…”