//------------------------------// // Rad: Enter The Doctor // Story: Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) // by Barrobroadcaster //------------------------------// Dan spent another three days coming up with a new plan. Without much else to do, he devoted most of his time and energy to coming up with the perfect plan to get his friends back, get revenge on Rice Grip and restore Equestria back to normal. For three days, he came up with different ideas, went through new and old tactics, tabulated his resources, risks and possible results and prepared for action. He had never worked harder on a plan before in his entire life. With pencil and paper, he poured over data and sketched out simulations for traps. He read books about Equestrian lore, history and mythology while eating. He laughed with his plan, slept with his plan, got up in the morning and fed the plan a balanced breakfast, we did that time-lapse thing where he crumples a sheet of paper into a ball and tosses it at a waste bin, then transition fade to the same waste bin overflowing with paper balls. Dan cried with the plan, got down on his hands and knees and wept with it, he trained with the plan, never before had a man expressed a range of raw emotion towards a sheet of paper before. And finally, he was done. Satisfied with his work, he gave the paper a firm nod. "Okay Missus Clicky," he said, holding the paper up before the lobster, "what do you think?" The plan consisted of the words GET HELP written in all caps. The lobster regarded the paper the way it regarded all things it could not eat and responded with *click-click.* "What do you mean- 'not my best work?' How would you even know what my best work is- or any of it for that matter?" *click-click.* "...Touche. Alright, fine, I'll try to rework it. Maybe change a few things." Another three days later, Dan added an exclamation point and considered that to be sufficient progress. Once again, he showed the lobster. "Well?" Indiscernible reaction.* "Okay, okay, if you're so clever, why don't you come up with a better plan?" Dan said, and shoved the paper into the lobster's face. The paper folded lightly over him, obscuring the lobster, which made no effort to stop from being covered by the sheet nor moved to remove it. "See if you can come up with something. I'll wait." Dan folded his arms. *chittering lobster noises.* After a few minutes, the lobster held up the paper in its claw. Dan snatched and examined it. GET YOU NEED HELP! "Oh ha-ha, very funny." The lobster made a circular motion with his claw, prompting Dan to flip over the paper. No, seriously, you need serious psychological help. Lol "That's it- I'm getting the melted butter out!" But before Dan could go boiling his only roommate and companionship, there was a knock at the library's front door. Someone else was alive! Dan was ecstatic with the thought before he realized that someone else was alive and they would probably annoy him at some point. Eh, the lobster was annoying enough, the little wiseacre. Even if he ever actually was the last man on Earth/Equestria, Dan knew the world would still find ways to annoy him, so not much of a point in that scenario. Dan walked over to the door. "Who's there?" "Um, this is the Golden Oaks Library, isn't it? Can I come in?" the person asked, voice a bit high from the cold. "It's freezing out here! Please!" "All right, fine, I'm opening the door." "Thank you!" Dan usually had a strict no-strangers policy and would have checked the person's identity with the security system... if he had not been using most of it to keep the house extra warm. He opened the door and the stranger burst in, leaping in from the cold, getting snow on the floor. "Oh goodness, thank you, thank you, that's much better, thank you." "You're welcome, you can warm up by the fire," Dan said, shutting the door. But the new arrival had already done just that and was using Dan's own blanket to curl up with. He was an Earth pony, a stallion and one Dan had actually met before. "Hey, I recognize you. You're from town, aren't you? The owner of that clock store?" "Oh, sorry, um, no no no no no. I'm someone far different, if you'll excuse the term." "What term? 'Far?'" The pony shook his head. "No, no, I'm sorry. Let me start again." He sprang up and extended his hoof. "Hello, I'm the Doctor." "Doctor who?" "Whooves, uh, actually. As the current situation might apply," he said, jostling. Who-ever he was, the Doctor was a somewhat jittery and energetic fellow with a sort-of David Tenant-y, Matt Smith-y-sounding voice. "And I have important news about your world. Specifically, that it ended." "It... what, you mean Equestria?" "Yes, that's the one." "What do you mean 'it ended?!' WE'RE STILL ON IT!" "Indoor voices, please." "Who the *squee* are you and WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!! And..." he looked out the window, "WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?! WHERE IS EVERYPON!!!? I mean everyone." "You don't have to be so loud, Dan!" the Doctor said, walking over to him. "We're the only ones here. And not just in the house, but on the planet. I'm terribly sorry but, the Equestria you knew is gone. All of it, whole thing, like ninety-nine-point-nine-nine-one-two percent done." He placed his hooves on Dan's back, Dan shook them off. Dan pinched his brow. "Who ARE you?" "I told you, Dan, I'm the Doctor. I help people. Like you. Usually when something like this happens. Which it has," the Doctor said. Dan turned to face him. "So are you actually from Ponyville, then? You sound like some kinda lime." "Lime? Lime... eh, yes, well, as long as you don't call me a pear. I hate pears, can't stand them. Nasty things." "Can you speak slower please?" The Doctor seemed to consider it for a moment. "Yes." Dan took a seat on the couch. "So are you actually from Equestria or Trottingham? Crystal Empire, places where the other British ponies come from?" "I'm from... well, that's a bit of a long story," the Doctor said, sitting next to Dan. The lobster seemed to like him as it jumped in his pony lap the first chance it got. "I'm sure you understand. Origin stories... tend to be long, complicated tales, that sort of thing." "I fell out of a plane." ".....Well, obviously not all of them," the Doctor admitted. "I came here in the TARDIS. That stands for Time And Relative Distance In Space. It's like a big, happy, blue, timey-campy roadtrip box." "Uh... huh..." Dan said, nodding slowly. "So what can you tell me about Equestria? What's happened? What's with the snow?" "It tends to snow a lot when it's a blizzard. And it's been a blizzard in Equestria since Chancellor Rice Puddinghead took over. Daft git doesn't know a single thing about running his own kingdom," Dr. Whooves said. He stared at the floor. "I've seen more than my fair share of dimensions go all belly up because some... misguided fellow had to go and muck it up for everyone else." "Should've figured he had something to do with this. What'd he do?" The Doctor shrugged. "It's more of what he didn't do. Or what he refuses to do- take care of the kingdom. These storms didn't happen when the pegasi were here, because they made sure the winter was wrapped up every year. Now, the same snow clouds are just hanging overhead with no place to go. Snow stays on the ground, clouds prevent the sun from reaching it, it just piles up. Most of the country's buried." "What happened to the ponies? Where's Twilight, Chrys, everyone else? What did he do with them?" The Doctor sighed and leaned forward. "Now, that's the part you're not going to like. See, even without you here, he still couldn't do anything to get them to help or accept him as ruler." "Ah... actually, I like that, yes. I'm happy to hear they wouldn't give that tyrannical science-moron what he wanted," Dan said. He started grinning giddily. "I taught them well! So he didn't really get what he wanted after beating me? He's depressed now despite getting what he thought he wanted, that sort of thing? Can I see him all sad and depressed on his throne or something?" "Oh no, he's very happy after beating you. He devoted about three whole days just to gloat about how he defeated you, made fun of you, how you were the biggest idiot in Equestria-" "Okay, I get the ide-" "How incompetent and worthless you are, how you only survived through sheer dumb luck, how you and your girlfriend have B.O and that's the only reason she even cares about-" Dan grabbed his throat. "Okay-I'll stop nowgh!" Dan's teeth were gritted. "Where are my friends, doc?" "T-Tartarus! You're friends- most of them are in Tartarus! Galck!" Dan released him. "Tartarus! Great, that's fantastic!" he said, genuinely thrilled by the idea. "Don't we have a portal to there lying around somewhere? We just open them up, bust them out and find a way to send Rice Dip there! Oh," he turned to the Doctor, "unless you're about to tell me it's not that easy." "It's not that easy..." "Called it." The Doctor got off the floor, rubbing his neck. Dan was an aggressive person, even he accepted that. "The only ones who can open Tartarus are the princesses and the seers and they're all IN Tartarus. There's only one other group that knows how to access that realm and they're not exactly known for being helpful." Dan folded his arms. "Not helpful pretty much describes everyone we've come in contact with, at first, anyway. So who are they? The Manticore tribes? Buffalo League? Big Rover's crime syndicate?" "No," the Doctor said. "The Donquestrians. The kingdom of the donkeys and their prison in the Badlands." "Oh... well, *squee.*" Dan had a lot of time to read up on Equestria. Mostly on myths and magic, anything that might help them. There was a lot of stuff in Twilight's private collection about the Fausticorn and various myths and theories about her, the lost king and queen of Equestria and the ancient Enchanted Valley. Some were just story books and rumors, like the Golden Archive, a place where Equestria's greatest heroes were kept, Harmony's Rainbow, which could find any pony anywhere and the Failsafe, a device the Fausticorn supposedly made herself to protect Equestria. The only legend they knew was true was that of Tartarus. Of note, Tartarus first appears in the legend of the Fausticorn's battles before she created the current Equestria. It's said she fought a powerful being called Abysma for years, dueling with her to see which was most powerful. Abysma, a powerful sorceress from another dimension, fought the Fausticorn with her own dark creations in an effort to create a universe of void beasts that she ruled. The Fausticorn used Abysma's own magic against her, defeated her and drained her of her magical powers and created Tartarus, a universe of punishment that she could rule. Abysma's daughters, the twins Disma and Gizma, would later try to take revenge on the Fausticorn but would fail and also be imprisoned in the depths of Tartarus. The two twins tried to create a beast of their own so singularly powerful as to defeat the Faust, but ended up failing when she befriended it. Ever since, Cerberus has guarded the gates to Tartarus, as ordered by Faust herself. Over time, other creatures would be imprisoned in Tartarus, some temporarily and others permanently. Starswirl the Bearded and Megan would banish the larger threats, like Tirek's deranged sister Vylatha, the mirage marauder of Saddle Arabia known as Beziege and the resurgent Smooze which would later have its name changed to Purple Smooze(or Smooze Classic) after Discord's discovery of the new, friendlier green Smooze. The last prisoners of Tartarus were imprisoned shortly before Discord's takeover beginning with the traitorous Chaos Space Royal Guards, ponies that renounced their loyalty to the princesses, the warlord Kephess the Undying and Dovalla, the attempted emperor of dragons and rumored to be a survivor from the world of the Elder Scrolls. Upon imprisonment of the great dragon Dovalla, the donkeys came to Equestria and asked for access to it. Other races like the zebras or griffons wanted shared control of the sun or moon, or their own share of Celestia and Luna's powers but the donkeys were only interested in Tartarus. The donkeys wanted to cast their own prisoners into Tartarus so they wouldn't have to deal with them, but Celestia ultimately denied them. Ever-stubborn, the donkeys continued to search for a way to open Tartarus. Eventually, they found it. "The donkeys, huh? Well, it's not like they're actually Badlanders, even if they live next door to them," Dan remarked. Badlanders was the generic name for beings in the Badlands that didn't get along with any of the other tribes or nations. Mostly roughnecks, criminals and outcasts, they were either not important enough to imprison or too much trouble to capture or hunt down but just enough of a nuisance not to be allowed anywhere civilized. Ponies, zebras, donkeys, griffons, dogs- most races in Equestria were oddly enough equally represented in the menagerie of misfits that called the Badlands home. "It's not exactly friendly territory and the donkeys aren't exactly friendly to us." "Equestria's been trading with them for years, our economies support each other. Which makes it easy for us," Dan said. He knew the donkeys were stubborn and grumpy, but not stupid. Despite somewhat frosty diplomatic relations, the donkeys remained a firm trading partner to Equestria. "And what will we trade them perse?" the Doctor asked. He looked at Missus Clicky. "I don't take it they like lobster." *click-click.* "Nah, there's something of theirs I kept for a really long time I think they'll be happy to have back. But uh, I kinda left that with another friend and we're going to have to find them," Dan said. "That's good. That's very good, and I can help you get rid of the Rice Git." Dan spun towards him. "You have a way to get rid of Rice Grip? How? TELL ME HOW." "Yes, I have just the thing to stop his invincible-ness thing." "Yes! Yes! Yes, what is it?" "It's a powerful weapon," the Doctor continued. "Yes yes yes yes! And?" "And a very useful item, one I've used may times before." "And you're going to give it to me to beat Rice with!" "Yes!" the Doctor exclaimed. "Just as soon as we get it back." "...What?" "It's called the sonic screwdriver. Rice has it right now." Dan looked at him, unimpressed. "Get out."