"Scoota-Loo, Where Are You!?"

by Kieva Lynn

There's No Goons Like Snow Goons

The scene: A two story family home somewhere in America. It's the middle of the night, the middle of winter, and a deep fresh snow covers the world outside with more coming down in blinding cascades. Inside, a husband and wife lay abed, asleep, the nightly unconsciousness a welcome respite from the daily insanity of their six year old son. Suddenly, without warning, the bedroom door slams open and said son rushes in, a stuffed tiger clutched in his hands. He hops onto the bed, crying out, "Mom! Dad! Wake up! We're in danger!"

The Father grumbles as he comes half awake, "Calvin... What time is it-Two Thirty-One!? Go back to bed!"

"Dad I can't!"

"What is it this time Calvin? Monsters under your bed? Or in your closet? Or in you sock drawer?"

"No! Snow Goons! Outside!" Calvin exclaimed, "I heard them moaning and looked outside and there they were! Hobbes saw them too!" He held up the stuffed tiger.

No more awake than her husband, Calvin's mom managed to ask "Snow goons dear?"

"Sure!" Calvin nodded. "Like last month remember? I bought a snowman to life by praying to the snow demons and it went berserk and started mutating itself with extra limbs and an extra head and then it made more snow goons so I had to freeze them solid with the garden hose! Remember!?" Calvin looked thoughtful. "Odd though... I didn't make these new snow goons. I wonder where they came from?"

"Calvin..." The boy's father looked at him in a threatening manner, "Go. Back. To. Bed."

"But Dad!"

Calvin's mother rolled over and threw her blankets off. "Let's go honey, he's not gonna sleep 'til we prove it was a nightmare."

So the trio headed downstairs, into the kitchen, to the back door. Calvin's dad yanked the door open, and immediately shouted at his son. "Calvin! What did I tell you last time about building snowmen right in front of the door!?" Sure enough, a hideously deformed snowman stood so close to the door it was impossible to get out that way.

"Dad I told you! I didn't make this one!"

"Oh no!? Then how did it get here? You know Calvin, when I was your age your grandfather would never have let me get away with this kind of thing! And I think it's time you started to show some respect! Furthermore..." The boy's father launched into a speech about respect, accountability, and character. He was so involved in his spiel that he failed to notice the growing expressions of horror on the faces of his wife and son.

"Um... Dear..." Calvin's mom managed to whisper.

"Yes what is it?"

She pointed behind her husband, who turned to find that the snow man had raised it's stick arms high and opened it's mouth, revealing row after row of wickedly sharp teeth. It lunged forward, roaring, and all three members of the family screamed...

Not far away, Fred Jones careful guided Mystery Machine through the heavy snows. "Wow, it's really coming down!" He said.

"It sure is!" Apple Bloom agreed, peering out the passenger side window. "Hey! Check out these snowmen!" Fred continued to drive slowly past several home, each of which had a snowman in front. "We should build a snow pony!"

"Aw yeah!" Scootaloo agreed.

"That sounds fun girls." Daphne agreed. She fell silent for a moment, then added "But not like these!" Everyone, even Fred in the driver's seat, stared in shock. Before the house they were passing were countless bizarre snowmen: a crowd of tiny ones picketed against broccoli. A full sized one was torn in half by a school of snow-rahna. Another was holding up the decapitated head of yet a third.

"What in the world?" Fred wondered.

"Someone is seriously disturbed." Velma concluded.

"No kidding..."

Everyone continued to stare until Daphne glanced forward and cried out "Freddy! Look Out!" A family had run into the road directly into their path. Fred slammed on the brakes and swerved to the side, just managing to avoid them as Mystery Machine came to a stop.

"Like are you okay!?" Shaggy asked as everyone piled out of the van.

The father nodded. "I'm sorry, that was our fault."

"Is something wrong?" Velma asked.

"Yeah, you guys seem pretty scared." Scootaloo added.

Before any of the family could answer, a trio of their neighbors arrived, loudly complaining. "As if the boy wasn't bad enough!" One said, and another agreed "Now it's all three of you! People are trying to sleep!"

"I'm sorry, but-"

"But nothing!"

Apple Bloom jumped into the middle of the group. "Everybody calm down!" She shouted, and they did, perhaps at the shock of a small talking equine. 'Bloom looked around and said "Now what's going on here?"

"These are our neighbors." The father said. He motioned to them one by one. "David Jansen" (A tall balding man), "Agatha Worrell" (A fifty-ish woman with steel blue hair in a tight bun), "and Arthur Davidge" (Also around fifty, with thick silver hair and a far too-large nose). "We've had some... issues... in the past...."

"'Issues' he says." Agatha snorted, pointing at the family's son. "That boy is a menace!"

"Be that as it may," The mother said, "(And I can't deny it,) We really did see something strange just now."

"Hobbes saw it too!" The boy said holding up his stuffed tiger.

Jansen shook his head. "At least we know where he gets it from now..." The trio of neighbors turned and left, still grousing to themselves.

"Okay, so what did you three see?" Velma asked.

"Snow Goons!"

"Snow Roons?" Scooby asked.

"So it seems." The mother answered. "You've seen Calvin's snowmen right? Last month he insisted that some especially hideous ones had came to life. But now, all three of us saw one!"

The father nodded. "Yes, it chased us all through the house before we got away."

Fred broke into a grin. "Gang, it sounds like we've got a mystery on our hands!"

The gang returned to the house with Calvin's family. There was no sign of the monster, and everything looked perfectly ordinary save for numerous streaks of water scattered all over the floors. "Melted snow?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"That would be my guess." Daphne agreed.

"So what's the plan?" Scootaloo asked.

"Okay, here's what we'll do:" Fred began. "Sweetie Belle? You go with Shaggy and Scooby and check out David Jansen's home for clues." He passed her a small walkie-talkie. "Velma and Apple Bloom will check up on Agatha Worell." (Another walkie.) "And Daphne and I will go see if there's anything suspicious about Arthur Davidge."

Scootaloo cocked her head. "Wait! What about me?"

Velma handed her the last walkie. "You'll stay here with Calvin and his parents. Lock up, don't go outside, and if any more of these snow goons do show up, call us and we'll be right back."

"Phooey." Scootaloo complained.

Once everyone else was gone, and the doors locked tight, Scootaloo, Calvin, and his parents looked at each other no one sure what to do. Finally the boy's father said "I'll make the rounds and double check that all the windows are tightly locked."

"I'll make coffee." the mother said with a yawn.

"And I'll keep watch from upstairs!" Calvin decided. "Come on Hobbes!" Both parents yelled for him to come back, but he was already up the stairs tiger in tow.

Scootaloo looked at them both, and said "Keeping watch from higher up really isn't a bad idea... I'll go with him." She bounded up the stairs before they could object.

"Hay Calvin? Calvin where'd you go?" Scootaloo called out as she trotted along the short upstairs hallway. Getting no answer she peered into the rooms. The first was a bath, and the second clearly the parent's room. She went to the final door. Beyond was a messy room littered with toys. Hobbes sat atop the bed, plush as ever. Calvin was not in evidence, but sounds came from the closet. The filly's eyes went wide with confusion when she looked: There stood Calvin, having quickly changed into a tight jumpsuit-like outfit with a toy suction cup 'blaster' belted to his waste. He was just pulling a pair of triangular sunglasses down over his eyes when he saw her.

"Great Moons of Neptune!!!" The boy exclaimed, "The equine female has discovered my secret identity as Spaceman Spiff, Savior of the Universe!" Scootaloo stared for three seconds more, then fell over and started rolling around on her back laughing.

Getting control of herself, Scootaloo rolled back to her hooves. "Seriously, what are you doing?"

"I didn't make these snow goons. So, they can only be the work of the evil Zarg King! He's been a thorn in my side for decades..."

One eyebrow raised, Scootaloo replied "You're six."

"Time is relative. I don't expect a girl to understand." Calvin pulled his 'blaster.' "Setting to 'Frap Ray.' Never fear, Spaceman Spiff is here! I. Fear. Nothing." A knock sounded from the window and Calvin jumped into the closet shouting "Snow Goons! Eat the horse! Eat the horse!"

Rolling her eyes as she looked towards the window, Scootaloo pointed and said "Um, Calvin...?" Beyond the window was not a snow goon, but a girl Calvin's age with short dark hair who had climbed up a trellis to reach the window.

"Susie?" Calvin wondered. He opened the window and let her in. "What are you doing here anyway? And this late?"

"I woke up and heard my dad talking to Mister Jansen. Is there something really going on? And what's with the pony?"

"Name's Scootaloo." The filly offered a hoof to shake.

Susie's eyes went wide as she made a sound like 'SQUEEEEE!!!!"

"Yeah yeah, she talks. Too much." Calvin said.

"So I'll ask you again." Susie said, "What's going on?"

A new voice said "Well it's kind of complicated..."

At this new speaker, Susie and Scootaloo turned to stare at the bed. And the very much real Hobbes sitting atop it.

"Wait a minute! You're real!?" Scootaloo exclaimed.

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Of course he is! Haven't you two been paying any attention at all!? Hobbes has been right here all along you know. Sheesh!"

"A stuffed doll has been here all along." Scootaloo corrected.

"Ugh, whatever... You two stay here with Hobbes and keep watch out this window. I'll watch from Mom and Dad's window on the other side of the house." Calvin fled out the door, still in his Spaceman Spiff costume.

"No offense Susie, Hobbes, but you friend is kind of weird."

"Oh he's not my friend." Susie insisted, "Just my bad luck of neighbor. What about you Hobbes?"

They looked to the bed, where the tiger was merely a stuffed toy once more. Looked at each other, at the toy, and back to each other. "What in the world...?" Both asked together...

Shaggy inched to the corner of David Worrell's house, two doors to the south of Calvin's home, peeked around the corner confirming the coast was clear, and motioned for Sweetie and Scooby to join him. "Rhat now Rhaggy?" the dog asked.

"Like I'm not sure." Shaggy whispered back. "Fred and Velma think this guy is suspicious though, so I guess we gotta look around." He glanced down at Sweetie Belle. "Like, not to make you mad or anything, but I wonder if we could attach a mirror to the tip of your horn for looking around corners?"

"Seriously?" Sweetie snarked. "Better idea: Use Scooby's tail. It's longer and flexible."

Shaggy eyed the dog appraisingly. "Say, that could work..."

"Sweetie Relle! Now look rhat you've done!"

They hushed at a sudden loud clattering, followed by cursing. David Jansen appeared from a large backyard storage barn and trudged though the snow to his house. "Kinda late and cold for working out here wouldn't you guys say?" Sweetie Belle whispered.

Shaggy nodded. "Yeah... Let's check out that barn..."

Slowly, carefully, quietly, they made their way through the deep snow to the barn door, Shaggy lamenting the impossibility of hiding their path in the snow, though so far as that went there were paths worn into the snow in all directions already. Inside the barn, they found a large workbench and a number of power tools. There were also several unusual objects, like deformed half-finished robots, scattered about. "Not uncreepy..." Sweetie Belle whispered.

"Like they look like modern art." Shaggy said. "Maybe there's nothing odd going on here. This Jansen guy might just be an artist."

"Rhaggy! Reetie! Look at rhis!" Scooby called to the others. Joining him, they found something different. In the back corner of the barn was a unusual construct. It was maybe three and a half feet tall, and made of various objects stacked on top of one another. A small striped shirt was pulled over part of it, and at the very top was a basketball with a spiky blonde wig.

"It... Kind of looks like Calvin." Sweetie Belle observed.

"Like yeah, and look here." Shaggy pulled a half gallon can of gasoline and a box of matches from behind the figure. "Looks like he was planning to burn Calvin in effigy... This guy must really not like kids."

"Or Calvin. But, this is suspicious either way right?"

"Like yeah. So I think we've seen enough. Let's get out of here before Jansen comes back." They turned to leave, only to find the door blocked. But not by David Jansen. A hideous snow-monster with two heads and five arms stood before the trio. "ZOINKS! It's a snow goon!"

"Plural!" Sweetie Belle said as three more appeared behind the first.

"Ruh-Roh!" Scooby cried. "Rack door! Rack door!"

Mercifully, there weren't any more of the creatures watching the barn's back exit. But that didn't stop the four snow goons already on their heels from giving chase. "What do we do!?" Sweetie Belle shouted.

"Like follow our lead Sweetie!" Shaggy said. "Around here!" They turned around the corner of the next house on the street.

Seconds later, the snow goons rounded the same corner. And stopped in confusion. The boy and his dog and pony couldn't possibly have been fast enough to be out of sight yet. But there was no sign of them. Nothing was in view but a very large (normal) snowman. "Grrr?" The lead monster expressed an inquizitive growl. it looked all around and even carefully examined the snowman, but there was nothing to be found. Giving a shrug, the snow goon wondered away in search of their prey.

No sooner were they gone, then the top 'head' part of the snowman shuddered, then fell apart, revealing a shivering Sweetie Belle whose horn had filled in for the carrot nose. "Psssst! The coast is clear!" Sweetie said, and the bottom and middle of the snowman also fell apart revealing Shaggy and Scooby.

"Whew! Rhat was close!" Scooby shuddered.

"You said it." Sweetie agreed. "So what now?"

"Back to Calvin's!" Shaggy said, "And hope we get there before they do!"

Fred and Daphne strolled down the sidewalk in front of Arthur Davidge's house, scoping things out. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary: porch lights glowed, interior lights were out, and there was no sign of movement. "Okay," Fred whispered, "Once we're out of sight past the next house we'll head around to the back and see what's what."

"Right." Daphne agreed.

They made their way to the back, and found a surprise. The back door of the house was standing wide open. Exchanging a look of concern, the duo went to the door. Fred called out, but there was no answer. "Snow goon mystery aside, I'm concerned." Daphne said.

Fred nodded in agreement. "Something's not right. Let's check it out." Entering the house, they first found a large sun room, which led into a dining room with the kitchen to one side and a study to the other. All were vacant, and nothing seemed amiss. They followed a hallway past a bath, laundry, and bedroom, all also empty of people or clues, until the door at the very end opened onto a garage.

"Freddy, I think we've found a clue..." Daphne said after turning on the lights to reveal the garage.

There was no vehicle. Instead, the entire garage was cluttered with folding resin tables heaped high with some kind of electronic devices. A trio of large trash cans in a corner near the roll-up doors overflowed with empty packaging. Fred picked one out and read the label. "R/C remotes?" He wondered. "Daphne, that's what every bit of this is! Tons and tons of remote controlled motors and servos, along with the wiring to connect them to each other and power sources."

"Why would anyone need so many?" Daphne wondered. Then something else caught her eye. On one of the tables was what looked like a robotic arm. A dart was clutched in it's hand, and there was a remote control sitting next to it. "I wonder what this does?" She asked and pushed the 'on' button, jumping back as the arm came to life and threw the dart.

"Yikes!" Fred said when he saw where the dart had landed: Right in the middle of a picture of Calvin taped to a wall.

"This guy does not like that boy." Daphne concluded. "But why? What could a six year old have done to deserve this type of anger?"

"I'm sure I don't know yet." Fred answered, "But by itself throwing darts at his picture doesn't explain the sheer number of components here. There's something else going on."

"Maybe, but-" Daphne fell quiet as they both heard a noise elsewhere in the house. "Check it out?" She whispered.

"Right."

Being careful to switch off the light Daphne had turned on, they sneaked back into the house. Halfway down the hall they saw it: A snow goon, standing in the dining room. The creature looked about, then moved towards the hall. "In here!" Fred hissed, and pulled Daphne into the laundry, carefully but quickly pulling the door too a crack. They watched as the snow goon passed by, not detecting them, and continued into the garage. Both heard a faint odd sound as it moved.

"Back out the sun room." Daphne whispered, and Fred nodded. They got clear of the house, and retraced their steps back to the sidewalk. In front of the house next door to Davidge's home, with a clear view of the front, they discussed their options.

"Should we try to capture it?" Daphne wondered.

"Risky with just the two of us." Fred answered.

"True... So I guess our options are to follow when it comes out, or just go back to Calvin's and regroup with the others."

"Regroup, I think, is best." Fred decided. "We need to know what they found out before we plan anything."

And so, resuming their cover as a young couple out for a romantic walk in the snow, they started back along the sidewalk the way they had come from. But then, just as they were crossing the Davidge driveway right in front of the house, the garage door rolled open and out lumbered the snow goon, heading right for them. A low moaning sound arose from all directions, and four additional snow goons appeared as well.

"Jeepers! We're surrounded!"

"Not quite we aren't!" Fred said. "Follow my lead Daph!" To Daphne's surprise he ran directly towards one of the goons, and jumped, grabbing a tree branch over the creature's head and shaking hard. This dislodged a tremendous amount of snow which covered the monster, briefly pinning it in place and giving them the opening they needed to get away.

"Nice move Freddy!" Daphne cheered as she ran right past the trapped snow goon.

"Thanks! Now let's book it!" They fled, with the remaining snow goons close behind...

Velma and Apple Bloom arrived at Agatha Worrell's home. It was a small ranch style house of brick, with a tall wooden privacy fence enclosing the back. A car sat in the driveway. Lights were on inside, and movement could be seen. "Hmmm... I'm weighing the pros and cons of just knocking and talking to her." Velma said.

"Kinda late at night for that ain't it?" Bloom asked.

Velma nodded. "Yeah. And of course right now I've not really got anything to talk to her about... Let's see if we can get a look over that back fence." They moved carefully towards the house, but when they were passing the parked car Velma hissed for Apple Bloom to stop. Looking in the car window, she said "Look at this."

'Bloom looked. "Is that what ah think it is?" She asked.

"It sure is." Velma confirmed. Laying on the car's front passenger seat, stuffed full with dozens of pins, was a Calvin voodoo doll.

"That's a clue right?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Maybe..." Velma said. "Though, on it's own all it proves is that she really doesn't like Calvin, which we already knew from what she said when they were all yelling at his parents. Let's see what else we can find."

They came to the side of the privacy fence, and found a place where Agatha's next door neighbor had stacked several tall piles of firewood. A lucky break since neither of them was tall enough to look over the fence without the boost from climbing on top of the taller piles. The yard beyond was mostly normal, though there were two possible anomalies. First there was an odd machine, unlike anything Apple Bloom recognized. And second, there was a wide path trudged down deep in the snow, as if several people had walked it back and forth over and over. The path led between the machine and a gate in the fence on the far side of the house.

"What'dya figure that there machine is for?" Apple Bloom asked.

"No need to figure 'Bloom." Velma said. "I can tell you exactly what it is: A snow maker. You feed water in one end and it freezes it and chips it into tiny ice shavings like snow and blows them out the other end."

"Ya don't say?" Apple Bloom looked and saw that another pile of firewood was stacked on the inside of the fence. Using it, she jumped down to the ground and approached the machine while Velma kept watch on the house. 'Bloom trotted all around it, and tapped the side with a hoof, then briefly held a hoof to it. She returned to the base of the firewood pile and said "That thing's been turned on not too long ago. It's not burnin' hot, but the motor's still warm."

"Strange." Velma mused. "Why would anyone run a snow maker in a snow storm?"

"Good question. But that's all there is. Everything else looks fine."

"Alright then. Come on up 'Bloom, I think we'd better get out of here before any snow goons show up, and-" Velma stopped talking when she saw the look on Apple Bloom's face as the filly looked past her. "There's one right behind me, isn't there?"

"Eenope... There's four right behind you."

"Irony how I loathe thee... Run!!" Velma jumped over the fence and together with Apple Bloom ran for the gate in the fence. The snow goons followed, busting down the fence and sending fire logs flying in all directions. The gate was locked, which made Velma roll her eyes in anger at the universe again, while Apple Bloom had an idea. She pulled the bright red ribbon from her mane and began waving it back and forth like a matador's cape. The snow goons charged and she jumped to the side just in time, goons smashing the fence down and stumbling to the ground.

"Great!" Velma said, "Let's go!"

They ran directly over the fallen snow goon's backs before they could get back up, but the chase was soon on once again. They ran up one street and down another, through empty lots, and across a frozen pond that creaked precariously but didn't give way. No matter where they fled though, the snow goons were hot on their tail. "These guys don't give up!" Apple Bloom panted, "And I'm gettin' tired!"

"Me too! I had hoped to lose them before we went back to Calvin's, but I guess we've got no choice."

"Alright then! Let the others know!"

Velma used the walkie Fred had given her. "Freddy? Sweetie? Scoots? We're coming in fast to the house with some unwelcome guests on our trail!"

"Same here!" Sweetie Belle answered.

"Ditto!" Fred said.

"What!?" Scootaloo exclaimed. "They're chasing all of you!? Okay, We'll be ready here!"

"I sure hope so..." Velma said, "I sure hope so..."

Leaving Calvin and Susie upstairs, Scootaloo fluttered down the stairs and filled Calvin's parents in on what was happening. The father quickly unlocked and opened the front door, breathing a sigh of relief that there wasn't also one of the creatures already waiting there. Scootaloo stepped outside, and looked around. Her ears perked up as she heard the moaning of snow goons all around, and then screams. Shaggy, Sweetie Belle, and Scooby appeared from the north, coming fast with four snow goons a good distance behind. Then Velma and Apple Bloom appeared, from the south, with four more goons on their tails, and from the east came Fred and Daphne with their entourage of five.

Half a second more, and Scootaloo yelped and jumped back into the house as she realized they were all going to get to the door at the exact same moment. They did just that, in an epic pile-up that nearly kept anyone from getting inside before the first of the snow goons caught up. Calvin's dad slammed and locked the door just in time. Everyone peered out of windows and watched as the crowd of goons surrounded the house.

After making sure everyone was okay, the teens began filling Calvin's parents and each other in on what they had found. Scootaloo however insisted that Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom come upstairs with her. "You're not staying for this?" Fred asked.

"Sweetie and 'Bloom can fill me in on what you saw." Scootaloo said. "But I've got another mystery here..." She trotted up the stairs and her fellow Crusaders followed.

Upstairs, Calvin had returned to his room and changed back into more sensible clothes while Susie kept a leery eye on the plush Hobbes who had stayed a toy. She didn't take her eyes off of him (not even for Calvin pacing the room muttering to himself) until the Crusaders arrived. "Oh my gosh there really are more of you!" She exclaimed on seeing Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

"Told you." Scootaloo said, and passed around introductions. "What's up with him?" She asked of the pacing Calvin.

"I'm just thinking." Calvin answered for himself. "It wasn't the Zarg King after all-"

"What's a Zarg?" Sweetie asked.

"You don't want to know." Scootaloo answered.

"Yeah you really don't." Susie agreed.

"If I may finish?" Calvin groused. "It wasn't the Zarg King, so I've been trying to figure out which of my other enemies might be responsible."

"Ooh! Ooh! Is it the Crab Teacher!? Or Babysitter Girl!?" A suddenly alive Hobbes asked.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle swung around to face the tiger, jaws dropped open. "And there it is again." Scootaloo said. "Happened before too."

"Hobbes...? How can you be alive?" Susie asked.

Hobbes cocked his head. "I don't understand the question.

"Well y'all were a stuffed animal before..."

"Stuffed? No, it's been hours since I ate anything." Hobbes said. He looked at Calvin. "What's this about?"

"Just girls being girls." Calvin said. "We don't have time for it." He walked into his closet and returned a moment later dragging a large cardboard box with 'time machine' written on the side. "I've figured it out! Hobbes was right! Clearly the nefarious Babysitter Girl has teamed up with my arch-nemesis, the evil Crab Teacher, to create the snow goons!"

"And a cardboard box will help how?" Apple Bloom asked.

Calvin snorted. "Cardboard. This my equine friend is a time machine! I'll simply go back to the past, prevent the team up from happening, and here in the present the snow goons will all go 'poof!'" A phone began to ring downstairs as Calvin hopped into the box and put on goggles. "Hobbes? Stay here and keep watch." Hobbes saluted and walked to the window.

The phone stopped ringing. Calvin started making odd sound effects.

"Um? Calvin?" Scootaloo asked, getting no response.

"Forget it." Susie said. "He's gone to us until this plays itself out."

"But what-" Scootaloo was interrupted by the sound of Calvin's dad shouting up the stairs, "Calvin! Is Susie up there!?"

"That must've been my mom or dad on the phone." Susie said. "Time to face the firing squad. You'll stay up here and keep an eye on Hobbes right?"

"Sure thing."

The ponies watched Susie leave, then returned their attention to Hobbes, who was still on a stool before the window, but stuffed once again. "What'n tarnation!?" Apple Bloom wondered.

"Some kind of magic?" Sweetie Belle suggested.

Scootaloo shook her head. "Humans don't have magic. We all know that. And besides..." (She glanced at Calvin, who was still lost in his time travel fantasy), "Besides, Calvin talks to that tiger like it was real all the time. I think he always sees Hobbes real. I think he doesn't know everyone else doesn't."

Just then, Calvin jumped out of the box and removed his goggles. "There! It's done! No more Snow Goons!" He looked at the ponies. "Wow. With the timeline changed, I'm surprised you're still here."

"Yeah about that changed timeline..." Apple Bloom pointed out the window.

"What the!?" Calvin exclaimed. "How can they still be here!?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because your 'time machine' is an empty cardboard box!?" Scootaloo shouted.

"That's just what it's cloaking device disguises it as! Duh!"

Susie returned, head low. "I'm gonna be grounded for a month when this is all over." She said.

"That's still not as bad as how long Calvin's punishments last." Hobbes said, causing Sweetie Belle who had been standing with her back to him to jump.

"Again..." Susie said with wonder.

Before any more could be discussed, They heard Fred's voice, calling for everyone to come back downstairs. Susie and the Crusaders weren't sure how to handle bringing Hobbes. Luckily, Calvin instructed him to continue keeping watch at the window. Boy, girl, and ponies left, and in moments the room was host only to an empty cardboard box and a stuffed tiger toy...

While the Crusaders had been busy in Calvin's room, the gang had compared notes. As Scootaloo reached the bottom step she heard Fred saying "We've got clues pointing in all three directions at once. It could be any one of them."

"No matter which one it is," Calvin's mom said, "I'm having words with them all about these dart boards and voodoo dolls and effigies! Calvin or not he's still my son!"

"Good to hear. But it still leaves us with the question of how to proceed." Velma said.

Shaggy added "Especially since we're trapped in here!"

"Reah! Trapped!" Scooby agreed, pointing to a window where a snow goon was trying peek in.

Daphne closed the window blinds. "I hate to say this, I know we usually don't until everything is wrapped up, but should we call the police?"

"That'll never work!" Calvin said. "For some reason the police won't answer calls to this address anymore." Everyone looked away from him awkwardly.

"Well as long as we're talking out of order, why not just go ahead with the trap?" Apple Bloom suggested.

"Like without Velma saying 'Gang, I've just about figured this mystery out' first!? Madness!" Shaggy laughed.

"Hardy har-har." Velma said. "Typical or not, I think we've gotta do it. So come on gang, let's put our heads together and figure this out..."

While the timing may have been off, the trap itself was pure Mystery Inc. After conferring with Daphne and Velma, and having everyone gather as many of the needed supplies as they could find inside the house, Fred said "Okay gang, here's the plan: First, we're short a couple of needed parts. Calvin's dad has them, but they're in the backyard storage shed. So we need to distract the snow goons away long enough for us to retrieve them."

Velma said "Shaggy, Scootaloo, Scooby? That's your job. I've modified Calvin's toy crossbow to be powerful enough to shoot a line from an upstairs window here to one of the neighboring houses. The three of you will zip line out, get their attention, and lure them away."

"Remember," Fred said, "You only need to distract them long enough for us to gather the remaining supplies from the shed. Five minutes should be enough. After that, head back here and run for the front door. Velma will let you in and slam the door behind you."

"And, like bolt, double bolt, and triple-bolt it I hope." Shaggy said.

Daphne shook her head. "No Shaggy, that's a part of the trap. We want the snow goons to get in for the trap. But we also want them to think they broke in, so they won't expect us to be ready for them. So Velma won't throw the latch. Hopefully, they'll think she messed up on that."

"And what happens once the snow goons are inside?" Scootaloo asked.

Everyone who wouldn't be going on the distraction mission held up one of the trap props they had found in the house: A paint can, a blowtorch, a length of pipe, and other objects. "Then," Daphne said, "We go all Macaulay Culkin on their frozen butts."

Scootaloo grinned. She'd seen Home Alone since arriving on earth. "Cool..."

Ten minutes later, Velma had the zip line ready to fire. They went upstairs, to the parent's bedroom, and opened the window. Velma fired the line, which went over the heads of the oblivious snow goons and attached perfectly to the next house over, about seven feet off the ground. "Remember, five minutes, then get back here to the front door."

Scooby saluted. "You can rount on us Relma... Rut... got any Scooby Snacks?"

"Always." Velma said, hugging the dog and handing him a half full box which he and Shaggy devoured in seconds.

"Okay guys, let's do this." Scootaloo said, and slid down the line first, followed by Shaggy and Scooby last with a little push from Velma. On reaching the end of the line, Scootaloo glided to the ground while Shaggy and Scooby jumped. "So how do we get their attention?" Scootaloo wondered.

"Like, like this..." Shaggy said, and he began shouting loudly. "Hey! Hey all you snow goons!" Three of the creatures turned to look. "Like your mother was a polar vortex, and your father was the snow miser!"

The monsters roared and gave chase.

"Ruh-roh! Run!"

They did, across the street and through a vacant lot, then cutting through several backyards, setting numerous dogs barking and waking more than a few neighbors who looked out their windows and would have yelled, had they not also seen the snow goons. The creatures proved smarter than they had seemed before, trying to cut the trio off more than once, but never quite being fast enough to get ahead of them in time. (Though at one point they did try to repeat the 'hiding in a snowman' stunt from earlier. It didn't work as well this time.) As the five minutes came and went, Scootaloo realized that, in the need to avoid the monsters, they had gotten further away from Calvin's house than they had really meant to. She mentioned this to Shaggy, who remembered Velma's story from earlier and had an idea. "Like this way!"

They made their way to the neighbor hood park, and the frozen-over pond Velma and Apple Bloom had made their escape across before. Velma had been clear that the ice had nearly cracked under them, and he was counting on the greater weight doing the job this time around. When they got there, it did indeed crack almost immediately, and they floated across on a miniature iceberg while the snow goons were forced to go around. That said though, 'going around' wasn't much of a walk on a tiny pond, so as soon as they reached the far side the trio ran for all they were worth, the goons still on their heels.

Calvin's home soon came into sight, Velma standing ready at the door. They all barrelled in and Velma closed the door but didn't lock it, according to plan. "Is everyone ready?" Scootaloo asked as the monsters began clawing at the outside of the door.

"We're all ready here Scoots." Fred said.

"Awesome!" Scootaloo looked all around the room. She saw numerous 'Home Alone' inspired traps set up, along with Fred, Daphne, Velma, Susie, her fellow Crusaders, and Calvin's parents, all ready to activate the traps in a carefully prepared sequence designed to take out each and every one of the snow goons. She also saw Shaggy and Scooby taking shelter. What she didn't see was... "Where's Calvin?"

The boy's mom answered "We didn't trust him with any of this. He's in his room sulking."

"Ahhh..." Scootaloo said, and then yelped and ran as the snow goon burst in through the door, moaning.

Hiding near where Fred was stationed, she could hear him whispering "Just a few feet more... A little more..."

Mere seconds before Fred would have given the signal to begin, a laugh rang out. Everyone looked to the top of the stairs. "Oh no..." Calvin's dad moaned as he face palmed. There stood Calvin, still in his usual clothes but with a cape and cowl over his head.

"Foolish snow goons!" Calvin shouted. "Now you face the magnificent might of Stupendous Man!"

"Seriously?" Apple Bloom deadpanned.

Calvin was indeed serious, as he slid down the banister and jumped into the midst of the snow goons, throwing punches and kicks as he went, exclaiming out sixties-style Adam-West-as-Batman sound effects like "Ka-Pow!" and "Ka-Pwing!" To the surprise of no one but Calvin, this was totally ineffective. The snow goons grabbed the boy and, carrying him over their heads, turned and started out the door.

"Zounds!" Calvin exclaimed, "The fiends have somehow acquired a sample of my one weakness! An ingot of the power sapping alien metal Stupendi-Not!"

"Seriously?" Apple Bloom repeated, as deadpan as before.

"Little help!?" Calvin screamed.

"Oh for the love of..." Scootaloo groused, "Okay I got this! Daphne! Throw that paint can!"

"But it'll miss!"

"I know, just do it!" Scootaloo insisted.

Daphne threw the can, which was tied to a rope to make it swing in an arc. The plan of course had been to brain one of the monsters with it, but they were all now out of range. Not that this mattered, since it wasn't Scootaloo's plan. As the can swung past, she grabbed ahold, and at just the right point of the upswing let go and furiously beat her wings for the small amount of lift they would add. In this way, she flew out the door, over the snow goon's heads, and spun around as she landed right in their path.

"Quite a snowstorm eh?" She said. "Let's see what a little pegasus magic can to do that!" Concentrating her innate magical powers, the filly caused a brief but memorable boost in the storm's fury, centered on the goons. It only lasted a few moments, but in that time all of the creatures were trapped, most of them totally covered with only the three largest still visible at all, and even in their cases only the heads sticking out of the snow...

A few minutes later, everyone (Including Susie's parents, who had arrived after an 'all clear' phone call) were standing outside staring at the three snow goon heads. "There really were monsters!" Susie's dad whispered.

"Not quite." Velma said. She, Fred, and Daphne handed pitchers full of very hot water to the three family members. "The unmasking honors are all yours."

Father, Mother, and son each poured out water over one of the heads, melting away the snow, revealing:

"Like all three of them!?" Shaggy exclaimed. Jansen, Davidge, and Worrell stared out from mechanical suits.

"Exactly!" Daphne said. "Mister Jansen made the suits, including all the extras that are just R/C robots controlled by the devices Mister Davidge installed. Then, they used Mrs. Worrell's snow machine to cover themselves, creating the illusion that Calvin's 'snow goons' really had come to life.

"But the part I still don't get is why?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Because we wanted to scare them into moving away!" Agatha Worrell said. "That boy is strange! We want him gone!"

Jansen added, "And we would've gotten away with it! If it weren't for this meddling pegasus, and her weather magic!"

Scootaloo grinned. She couldn't resist: "Have you had enough then? Or you hungry for more?"