Üā Sūt Cktüis (How to be Dragon)

by Rammy


Chapter 7: Acktšausāla Leülējuls (A Dubious Quest)

When dragons argue death is sure to follow. ~ Unknown


Twilight stared at the tea slowly swirling in the cup in front of her not really in the mood for it. She understood why tea had been served she just couldn't bring herself to drink any.

How could it have come to this?

Cozy Glow dead, more then dead if Šizra was to be believed, nothing more then ash. Why would he do something so horrific as that? Worst still she had stood by doing nothing as Šizra coldly destroy Cozy Glow's entire being. There was no amount of tea that was going make her feel better about it.

"Gah," Rainbow yelled, rising into the air, "why are we sitting around sipping tea instead of going after Šizra?!"

Twilight cringed as Celestia slowly lower her cup as she turned to face Rainbow Dash. She had noticed that Celestia had been practically gulping her tea down, something she almost never did. She only did that when her usually ever calm demeanor was about to break. If Rainbow Dash wasn't careful she would find herself facing Celestia's ire.

"How do you propose we 'go after Šizra?'" Celestia questioned, quickly raising a hoof to stop Rainbow Dash from answering. She held eye contact with Rainbow for a moment before breaking it to pick up her tea once again. "And more importantly when we find him how do we... take him down? Even if Šizra is suffering from overexertion as Twilight has surmised he will still be very dangerous."

"I don't know!" Rainbow Dash gestured wildly, her voice rising. "Use the Elements or figure out how we got that rainbow power when Tirek escaped. Anything but sitting here SIPPING TEA!!!"

"Ah don' think tha' Elements will work Rainbow Dash, remebah tha' Discord said Šizra who created the Elements?" AJ questioned as she gestured to the elements currently in a pile in the center of the map. "Ah'm sure he knows how to protect 'imself from them."

"I'm not so sure Šizra created the Elements..." Twilight reluctantly countered, feeling every eye boring down on her. "You were all there when we freed the Pillars..."

"Ah plum forgot about the Pillars..."

"So?" Rainbow Dash snapped.

"Also there was that dragon construct."

"The one our students said was the Tree of Harmony?" Rarity thoughtfully questioned before taking a sip of her tea.

"It called him 'son.' Not father... creator, or even master. So, why then would the creation call its creator son?"

"He did seem a mite scared of the dragon... " AJ admitted, "and if Ah didn't know bettah Ah'd say he looked like a colt bein' scolded by his mother."

"And as much as I don't like to admit agreeing with Šizra Discord has always had troubles speaking truthfully even at the best of times."

"Fine, whatever!" Rainbow Dash grumbled, rising a bit into the air. "That still doesn't help us take down Šizra!"

"Oh, Ooh I know! Why don't we just ask Discord for help?!" Pinkie Pie suddenly piped up, "He seems to know a lot about Šizra."

"And how do we do that Pinkie?" Rainbow countered. "It's not like he ever shows up when we need him unless its ogres and oubliettes and the next session isn't until next week."

"What about his tea time with Fluttershy?" Pinkie Pie bounced, happily giving another suggestion. "Surely you have a way to contact him?"

"Well... um... Šizra really spooked him... so... um we haven't had tea in some time..." Fluttershy sputtered out, trying to hide from all the stares behind her mane. "But... Discord did leave me something..."

"What is it?" Rainbow Dash questioned as she fly down and shook Fluttershy.

"Well... um..." Fluttershy continued to fumble with her words, her fur turning redder by the second, "It's a heart shaped locket... with a um... picture of Discord inside..."

Fluttershy eeped as Rainbow Dash flew off at near rainboom speed, a blast of air whipping around the enclosed room. Twilight mentally counted down to ten and true to form Rainbow Dash busted back through the doors exactly as she finished her countdown.

"Okay, so, now what?" Rainbow Dash asked as she hoofed over a small locket to Fluttershy.

"Well... um... he said if ever I wanted to um... well if ever I needed him he told me I had to snap open and shut the locket in a specific manner."

"Will it still work?" Rainbow bit her lip, looking with unease towards Twilight.

Twilight shrugged, pushing aside the urge lecture about all the ways the loss of magic could have broken the enchantment, assuming that Discord 'enchanted' the locket to begin with.

Fluttershy gulped, then quickly opened and shut the locket five times. Twilight had to resist the urge to facehoof when she heard the rhythm. Of course he would have her do something silly like have her open and close the locket to the tune 'Shave and a Marecut.' She assumed that the traditional two note 'answer' would probably be Discord appearing in a flash and two snaps. But to her surprise nothing happened.

"L-let me try again." Fluttershy stuttered as she attempted a second time and then several more times each more frantically then the attempt before.

Twilight surreptitiously reached out and much to her relief there was chaos magic emanating from the locket as Fluttershy was snapping it, though it seemed a bit weak. Whether that was by intention or a byproduct of magic being sucked away(even though it had returned) she knew not. She had yet have the time to fully research the effects of the loss of magic given that there was no time yet to do so. Never mind that chaos magic had always been a bit difficult to quantify, if it could be at all.

"Fluttershy..." Rarity gently put a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder.

"NO!" Fluttershy shouted angerly before bawling. "He... He can't be gone!"

Twilight was about to move to help Rarity console Fluttershy when she was blinded by a familiar flash. Blinking she looked up to see Discord sleepily floating above the map, a yellow and pink nightcap on his head.

"Sorry Fluttershy for taking so long. At first I didn't hear your call. I think I might have accidentally left it on vibrate, again, and then somepony whom I'm not going to name... cough Starswirl cough closed off my dimension from..." Discord paused as he gazed around, his eyes going wide. "Okay... whatever you think I may or may not have done I had nothing to do with it."

"Discord!" Fluttershy cried as she lunged at him. "I thought you were dead and... and..."

"Um..." Discord awkwardly started to pet Fluttershy head as she buried herself into his fur crying, "somepony want to fill me in?"

Twilight sighed before she went on to explain the events the past few days starting from the mysterious failing of Starlight's cloud walking spell to the 'death' of Cozy Glow only a few hours previously. All the while Discord slowly lost all color, it literally draining from him and pooling on the table and floor below him. Once she was done no one said a word for sometime. As it was she dare not, feeling very nauseous for having to repeat the awful events in detail once again.

"Yeah..." Discord finally broke the silence, rubbing the back of his neck. "Glad I decided to stay at home this week and binge watch all thirteen seasons Discord's Got Talent."

Twilight blinked then shook her head. She was not going to even try and figure out whatever nonsense Discord had been up to she was just relieved that he was okay.

"So..." Discord droned, lightly stroking his goat beard, "was this just a welfare check or was there something else? Please say the former. I really want to see who won the ninth season."

"Discord..."

"No."

Celestia sighed, rubbing a hoof under her horn. "I have yet to even explain..."

"I know what you want. You want me to track down Šizra." Discord interrupted Celestia a second time. "And if Twilight told you everything like the tattle tale she is then you know that if Šizra finds out about my involvement in Tirek's escape..."

Twilight cringed as she remember that Applejack had let it slip that Tirek had escaped before... Thankfully the Princesses and the Royal Guard had arrived before Šizra could discover the fact that Discord had helped, at least for a while, Tirek. She hadn't forgotten those ominous words Šizra spoke about Discord.

'Next time it will be my sword that ends it.'

"All the more the reason you need to help us."

"Why? So you can stone him like you did me?" Discord snarled, whipping around to stare down at Twilight.. "Or throw him into the deepest and darkest pit in Tartarus? Or... or maybe... you will finally end your long standing aversion to killing and have him executed? No."

"Discord this isn't a joke." Celestia nearly growled out. "This is a serious matter! Šizra didn't just kill a child he destroyed her entire being!"

"Do I look like I'm joking around?" Discord growled back as he slowly crossed his arms, "Or that I don't know the seriousness of your 'situation?' Personally, she got off way too easy."

Twilight jaw dropped. Discord was defending Šizra's actions. The same Šizra that threatened to kill him. What was wrong with him!?

"Let me make sure I heard you right..." Celestia began, her mane beginning to whip around a bit more then usual.

But before Celestia could finish or for Discord to respond the map table flashed. No one spoke as they watched Twilight's cutiemark along with a purple and green dragon head appeared above the map. For a few tense moments the two images danced around, moving all over the map before finally settling above a specific spot.

Twilight groaned when she saw where the map wanted Spike and her to go: Tartarus. She could not understand of all the places the map could send them it would send them there!? What possible reason could there be for the map to send them there? And why now?! Was this in response to the magic that she had to take from the prisoners to reopen the gate? Their magic should have returned like everypony else's, right?

"You want me to help, fine." Twilight leaned back as fair as her throne would let her as Discord, his grin turning sinister, wrapped himself around it and her like a boa constrictor. "Go to Tartarus and see what the map wants you and lizard boy to do... or don't. Either way, I'm out. I still have four more seasons of DGT to watch."

With that Discord snapped a claw and was gone.


Even though Twilight knew it was coming she still jumped a bit when the doors to Tartarus closed behind Spike and her. Cerberus pacing nearby and only glanced for a moment at them before returning to his pacing, a slight growl emanating from him. The cages from before were no where in sight.

"Um, Twi..." Spike murmured, "are you sure that we went through the correct spooky door?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Twilight nodded, as she looked around, noting that stairs that once leading to several small mesas were gone. All that she could see where was a series of vast chasms and canyons that crisscrossed as far as she could see. "Tartarus shifts periodically to make it harder to escape..."

"And also making it harder to find whoever the map wanted us to find..." Spike grumbled, pointing out the obvious. "Assuming that Discord didn't fake it again."

"Yes..." Twilight rolled her eyes. It was one of many objections to Spike and her following the map. But given they had nothing else to go on they all eventually agreed to let them go as long as Spike took an emergency scroll and only take three hours. If they took any longer or sent the scroll the Princesses and a platoon of guards who would station themselves on the other side of the gate would come in and rescue them.


"This is hopeless!" Spike whined as they found themselves for the third time at the entrance of Tartarus.

"Spike..." Twilight sighed.

"My, my, my a visitor." A voice suddenly rose, echoing across Tartarus.

"Was that?"

"Yes." Twilight answered, rising on the tip of her hooves hoping to get a better idea where his voice were coming from.

"Come now, don't be shy..."

"Who's Tirek talking to?" Spike whispered.

Twilight shushed Spike before slowly creeping forward down a path they had yet to try, hoping that she picked the right one this time.

"Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings!?"

"Queen Chrysalis!?!" Twilight gulped, nearly slipping on a rock as she heard the name Queen Chrysalis.

"Twi!" Spike whisper yelled, painfully grabbing a chuck of her fur as he attempted to assist her.

"I'm fine." Twilight reassured him as she leaned against a nearby stalagmite to catch her breath and to ease her sense of vertigo and panic. The thought of falling down one of the 'bottomless' pits was terrifying even if she had wings and was highly skilled at self teleportation.

"I must admit to finding myself torn. To disguise yourself as him?! Should I laugh at your stupidity or be impressed..."

As she took a step around the stalagmite she nearly gasped in shock at who she saw. She could finally make out Lord Tirek and to her relief he was still imprisoned in his cage. However Queen Chrysalis was nowhere in sight and the creature that Tirek had been talking to was the last creature she wanted to see here: Šizra.

"Es eslu Šizra." Came a voice so soft and weak that Twilight wasn't even sure if she heard it all.

Šizra?! Twilight gulped in fear, scrambling to hide herself behind the rock. Šizra was far, far worse than Queen Chrysalis.

"Twi?" Spike yelped as Twilight roughly pulled him behind the stalagmite with her.

"It's Šizra!" Twilight hissed before carefully peeking around the stalagmite to see if either had heard Spike's outburst but to her relief if appeared that neither had.

"What?! Why is hehere?" Spike muttered, wringing his tail in fear.

Twilight frowned, mouthing I don't know.

She fought to suppress her rising panic as Šizra began to speak again. "Your... petty act of revenge caught me by surprise. I almost wasn't able to stop it."

What!? Twilight nearly blew their cover at the outrage of Šizra's statement.

"I admit myself speechless. I would never have guess the great Šizra giving me such a compliment."

"Why should I not... compliment you and the work of your... apprentice?"

Twilight found herself becoming even more confused. How could Šizra, who had clearly hated Cozy Glow enough to destroy her completely, now compliment her to Tirek? The very being who taught her how to steal all the magic in the first place? Šizra's motivations was fast becoming Pinkie Sense/Discord territory. Confusing, nonsensical and something best not to question or try to understand.

"Protege..." Tirek sighed, turning away from Šizra his hands clasped behind his back. Twilight was taken aback as she saw a single tear fall from his face. When she and her friends interrogated him earlier his body language and speech came off as arrogantly bored but now it seemed that if he had genuinely cared about Cozy Glow. "I am curious, though, why would you compliment a incompetent failure?"

"Incompetent?" Šizra blinked confusedly. "Cozy Glow managed to pull off a feat of spellcraft that would not only be extremely difficult for anyone but the most skilled kirin or unicorn, much less a pegasus, but has not been seen in over twenty five thousand years. Incompetent she was not."

Tirek spun around, facing Šizra, gripping the bars of his cage tightly. "BUT A FAILURE SHE WAS! Every time, every time I get betrayed or hampered by failures! Well no more!"

Šizra who had so far had been almost disinterested seemed almost intrigued by Tirek statement. "Interesting..."

Tirek growled angrily as he turned away from Šizra. "If all you going to do is mock me you can just leave."

"As you wish." Šizra bowed his head before turning around.

Twilight's eyes widened in surprise as she watched Šizra beginning to walk away. Given his earlier fury against Cozy Glow she... expected the worse. That surprise quickly turned to horror when she suddenly saw SoulSunder glinting in the low light of Tartarus. She quickly stuffed a hoof into her mouth to suppress a rising scream and before she could do anything else SoulSunder swung around in Šizra's dark aura, slicing through the bars of Tirek's cage, something she didn't think was possible, while also beheading the centaur. And just like Cozy Glow before, Tirek's body instantly turned to ash.

"If only..." Šizra muttered before taking a single, staggering step then collapsing.

Twilight shook her head as she tried to comprehend that Šizra had just collapsed in front of her. The way he seemed to be able to keep going she had expected something a bit less anticlimactic.

"Is he...?" Spike whispered, pushing down on Twilight's head, clearly to get a better view.

"Spike!" Twilight snapped as she lifted him off her head.

She motioned Spike to stay put as she slowly crept up to the still form of Šizra. At first it seemed she wasn't sure if he was alive with how still his form was. She was nearly on top of him before she could see the cloak shift ever so slightly in the cadence of breathing. He looked far worse then when she last saw him. Blood, some caked, a lot of it fresh and mixed with froth coated his fur spilling out and down the front of his cloak. Twilight wasn't well versed in medicine but she knew with he would not last much longer without medical attention. "He's alive, but barely..."

"What are we going to do, Twi?" Spike called out, still standing near the stalagmite.

Twilight chewed the bottom of her lip as she debated the best course of action. While Šizra deserved to be left in Tartarus as punishment for his crime against the souls of Cozy Glow and Tirek to leave him to die didn't feel right either. And there was the fact that SoulSunder disappeared when Šizra collapsed. It was too dangerous of an artifact to be unaccounted for and needed to be destroyed as quickly as possible and unfortunately the only one that knew its location was Šizra. That left her with really only one option. With a sigh she carefully lifted Šizra with her magic.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Spike shouted in disbelief, gesturing wildly. "What if he wakes up? You saw what he did to Tirek!"

"Spike..." Twilight grunted in disapproval as she heaved Šizra's body over her back. All they needed to do was get him to an intact cage then summon the princesses with the emergency scroll. From there they could deal with him. "Help me find an empty cage."

Spike groaned, pinching the bridge of his brow with his claws. "Please don't let this backfire on us..."