Man… ponies are… strange. it’s currently morning and I’m watching a bunch of students of various ages milling about the courtyard as they wait for the school’s doors to open. While this isn’t unusual, it’s what they are doing that strikes me odd. I never really bothered to think about it until now, but a war can completely change a society’s outlook on… well everything.
What are they doing? Well, currently they are all watching two students dueling. Officially of course; there are guards there to make sure nobody gets seriously hurt, and a magic circle to make sure no spells hit any spectators. When the war started, Equestria was hit HARD. They have never been in any full on conflict since Discord, and as a result, they grew soft. It was only through heavy conscription and rapid magical advancements that they even stood a chance. Of course, there was a number of ponies who wanted out; but surprisingly, a lot of them wanted to fight. They had secured a place in the world for pony kind, and they didn’t wanna lose it.
Now you’d think that after a defensive war, a nation would want nothing more to do with it, right? That’s why ponies are strange. When the war ended and the news was delivered, and everyone was given their time to mourn, ponies petitioned that they work on developing their military. They were too under prepared when they were too weak when they were attacked. The patchwork system they had set up during the war, while it worked, had flaws that couldn’t be overlooked. Lastly, they simply wanted to feel safe in their own homes. To live without fear that one day they may suddenly be running for their lives and lose everything they had. They wanted to be prepared in case another war broke out.
These petitions, were of course, met with silence. Celestia wanted to dismantle the army, or at least weaken it. Why have such tools of destruction was her reasoning. But her counsel, and more importantly, her sister, would hear nothing of it. The ponies of Equestria were right. They could have easily lost that war. Should another one happen, they might not be so lucky.
OOOOOO that one looked like it hurt! The thestral that was currently dueling the unicorn just got slammed into the barrier by a kinetic blast. He’s shaking it off though. Looks like he’s not out yet.
Wait a minute… y'all don’t know about thestrals! They’re like… pegasai but all edgy. Bat ponies essentially. They showed up a little after the war ended. They were a tribal race that was attracted to Equestria after seeing it defend itself from the Crystal Empire. They respected Equestria as a nation, but never really wanted to join because they were unsure if they would be safe with them; They thought hiding away would be a better option.
Initially, there was some opposition to letting them integrate into the nation. Ponies just didn’t wanna trust anything that wasn’t a normal pony; crystal ponies being an example. However, it was princess Luna who, against all the flak, still allowed them to become part of the nation. For that grace, they came to revere her; treating her like a goddess with undying loyalty. She was their savior after all.
It was this cult like loyalty that lead to them forming their own branch in the military, to further show their devotion. They wanted what Luna wanted, and if Luna wanted to protect Equestria, then so did they.
Back on topic, the ponies demanded for an improved military. Celestia had no choice but to comply. She handed those decisions over to her sister however, seeing as how the thestrals already added themselves to the military. It would give her something to do, and help improve her image with the citizens. And it worked too, she was now widely respected and considered Equestria’s Phoenix of War. symbolism relating to how phoenix’s burn out, but then rebirth from their ashes. It’s a weird one that I don’t quite get, but meh.
How does this all relate to the magic duel? Still, 80 years after the war, the ponies still want to be prepared. So here they are. Keeping their skills sharp in case something were to ever happen. The school now offered offensive and defensive magic classes, as well as a combative course for pegasai. On top of that, a new school was opened; Kinda like ROTC, but for pegasai. It was like an introductory to fighting for pegasai, who would then go on to the main school. Of course, it also helped improve their ability to fly, but that was just a given for pegasai to even be able to fight.
Now, how would a thestral even be able to compete with a unicorn you might ask? Well, number one rule to fighting a unicorn, always have a mojo. Mojo’s prevent a unicorn from just straight up holding anyone down and just mopping the floor with them. Doesn’t nullify magic entirely, but it does weaken it; thus allowing others to fairly fight unicorns. But how do they fight? Well, in actual combat, they used to be feral as fuck. Bitching bitches and clawing at them with their wings. Now they default to the weapon most commonly used by flyers of any kind. Wingblades. Cool as fuck in my opinion. Its like this metal rig with blades that mimic the movements of a pegasai or thestrals wing. So, they fight with their wings. Dangerous as fuck, as they have to focus on flying and attacking with the same limb.
Of course, since this is a duel, he’s using a wooden variant; but I imagine it still hurts like a bitch to get hit by it. Speak of the devil, that unicorn just got blitzed the fuck out of! For those of you who don’t know, blitzing a unicorn is where you go for the horn in order to completely throw off their focus and prevent them from casting. How hard ya blitz them determines how long they can’t use their magic. How good the unicorn is at magic also matters, as some can power through a blitz; much like you could still walk after getting stabbed in the leg if it meant you could get away. Adrenaline and all that.
This unicorn however, looks like he ain’t all that tough, as with his magic down and out, the thestral makes quick work of him. The unicorn tries dodging and keeping himself at a distance, but the thestral viciously keeps on him with a vengeance, throwing out all kinds of fakes and jabs to trick the unicorn into going where he wants him to go. It’s only a matter of time until- oooo, there it is. Both of the duelists are caught in a field of magic as the arena itself and all the markings on the ground light up, holding them both in place. Looking at how they are positioned, the thestral, covered in a blue aura, is almost right on top of the unicorn, who is covered in a red aura. This means that what the thestral was going to do would be considered a finishing blow. The thestral is moved away from the unicorn and they are both released from the spell, the thestral landing on the ground gracefully. Both the unicorn and thestral grin at each other, and walk over to each other and shake hooves and call good game.
Good. no bad blood between the two. Hasn’t been much of that lately, but that arena isn’t always used in good fun. Some use it to settle disputes; which admittedly is better than straight up killing each other, but it does enable some rather hot headed mindsets. As the arena barrier fades away, the two in the arena are startled by the cheering crowd that gathered around them and the arena. See, ponies in the dueling circle can’t hear or see the outside world, but those outside can see and hear everything. It helps keep the duelists from getting distracted. That’s another reason why the guards are present. If an emergency came up, they can end the duel, which would result in a yellow aura catching both combatants.
But yeah, those two showed up before anyone else to get a little early morning practice in. Good friends those two are. Two of the top in the region as well. So of course everyone would jump at the opportunity to watch them spar. They sheepishly rub the backs of their heads and start making their way through the crowd towards the school. Almost if on cue, the bells ring, signaling the start of the school day.
I internally sigh as the courtyard slowly clears out, minus a couple patrol guards. For whatever reason, time seems to be going by slower than usual. The passage of time, while a set standard, can be perceived to pass by fast. Which, usually for me, unless something interesting happens, is the case. Normally, day and night become a blur. Sometimes an entire months have gone by without me even noticing. But lately, time seems to be moving slower than Helen Keller’s reaction time.
‘…Who the hell is Helen Keller? Where the hell did that even come from…’
I've noticed myself doing that occasionally. Saying random bits of nonsense that, as of now, make no sense. But they FEEL like its an appropriate analogy. If that doesn’t make any sense, trust me, I’m right there with you.
Know what else doesn’t make any sense? My fucking eye! At this point, I’m claiming it to be my own. I may have found it, but fuck whoever else lays claim to it. I have it and have been stuck with it for… how long has it been… 144540 days… 396 years now. Either way, if I’ve had it for that long, I’m pretty sure I can safely call it mine. Anyone who says otherwise can go fuck themselves!
That’s another thing though. My eye. What happened at the Crystal Empire. Seeing it all from Celestia’s perspective. Apparently when her vision cut out, it was because she passed out. When she came back, she was unconscious and being carried by Luna. The stress of the war, the battle, fatigue, and watching an entire empire was too much for her. Admittedly, it was too much for me as well; minus the fatigue. However, instead of passing out, I seem to have blanked out for a couple years.
My guess? Mental overstimulation. I’m used to the stimuli I normally get. Watching OTHER things move. Watching everything from Celestia’s perspective, while not as consistent as if I was moving around on my own, was still close enough that my mental state just couldn’t handle it. As for why it was so long before I regained any form of coherent thought? Probably because I have no means of rest or recovery. I can’t sleep, can’t let the mind or body rest. I can only sit here and watch…
Still haven’t even figured out that new trick with my eye either. I can only surmise their eyes being in my vision at just the right angle triggers it. It might not even be that. I can’t exactly try different things to test it either, so I’m stuck with it happening at seemingly random intervals. Each time it does, I blank out for a couple years.. It’s only happened… a few times since Celestia. Once with Luna, which was surprisingly informative. Seems I had caught her with it right as she was on her way to check up on Starswirl’s progress towards figuring out a way to free me.
Turns out, he’s still found out jack shit! Meh… I should probably give him some credit. They were spouting a bunch of junk about magic that I didn’t understand at the time. Yeah, he’s still around. Still don’t know how, but whatever he’s doing seems to be working for him. Nothing I can do about it. What do I mean by, ‘at the time’, though?
Well that leads me to the second time I was seeing things through other people’s vision. A random unicorn happened to get snared by my eye. How does that help me understand magic? The bastard didn’t sleep for three weeks! He spent three weeks straight studying magic. All kinds simple, intermediate, advanced; all kinds of magic. My vision doesn’t seem to cut out until the person loses consciousness by whatever means. So I was stuck watching what this guy did for three weeks. During those three weeks, I managed to pick up on a few things. Highly doubt I can use magic, but an understanding of it helps.
The most recent time it happened… really gives me nightmares. That is to say it would if I was capable of sleeping. What was it you might ask? A. Fucking. BIRD. And not just ANY bird. Nooooo no no no no. this little fucker had to be THE MOST adventurous little cunt ever! Bastard was doing all kinds of twists and turns and flips and a whole assload of tricks. And it flew for the entire day! Fucking majestic! That one really hurt my head… I blanked out longer than usual from that one.
I like animals. But fuck birds. Especially that one in particular. I’m glad the little shit is dead.
Speaking of magic however, something has happened regarding it since the Crystal Empire disappeared. After the war was over, dark magic was banned. Branded an evil and forbidden magic. Reason why? Sombra. He turned down a dark path, and let it consume him in a greedy pursuit of knowledge. So they used him as an example of the harm that can come from the use of dark magic. Hypocritical of them anyways. Luna used dark magic and she’s still fine. Matter of fact, she still uses it. Celestia even learned a little bit of it, and is still continuing to learn it. Starswirl was reluctant to continue teaching it to them, especially after the war, but Luna managed to convince him. Just because its not allowed doesn’t mean everyone will listen. How can they combat dark magic without an understanding of it? You can’t. At least not effectively enough to beat it.
They also are carefully monitoring each student to make sure they don’t fall down the same path as Sombra, and taking extensive measures when even a hint of curiosity towards dark magic is found.
Overall, I understand their reason for being hypocritical regarding this subject, but it doesn’t change the fact they are hypocrites. Speaking of Starswirl’s teachings though, he still continues to teach at the school. He’s just no longer the only teacher. Most of the other teachers are prodigies that graduated from his classes anyways, but the point there’s more than just him. He also doesn’t teach any offensive or defensive magic. It’s not from lack of knowledge either, because trust me, he knows some shit. He just prefers not to. Rather focus on other things.
Other things… things like Luna. him and Luna are getting a bit close. Really close. He likes her and I know it. How do I know this? Starswirl has been showing up occasionally during Luna’s time with her diary. All coincidence according to him. I beg to differ; I’ve seen enough love birds to know when an individual likes another. Plenty of ponies sneaking into the castle garden to make out, or… other things… don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m disgusted by it or anything. Not that I’m into that kind of stuff either! Don’t get it twisted!
It’s just that spending so much time watching it, you kinda get desensitized to it. Believe me, first time I saw it was when I was sixteen; two years after I showed up in this strange world. And I was traumatized. And even stranger, I had no reaction from it at all except for my own mentality. I had no impulse to throw up. No desire to join in. no desire to pleasure myself in any way. Just me watching, thinking it was disgusting from the sheer fact that it was two, what I thought to be animals at the time, going at it. Just because that’s what my frame of mind was. Now I’m numb to it. Just don’t care. And while I have come to understand what passes as ‘attractive’ here, and I can appreciate the beauty of it, I don’t think I could muster any sort of attachment to anyone here; even if I got free from this entrapment. Not off looks alone.
I’ve gone 396 years as a statue; that means I haven’t felt anything in so long that I don’t even remember what feeling is like. I can’t feel. Things like arousal, pain, cold, stiffness, nothing. Those are all things that require the mind and body to work in conjunction. With my body being stone, nothing is registered. Nothing moves. No signal from the brain goes anywhere. And it’s not even the brain, because that is stone as well! It’s difficult to accurately describe, but it’s just… I am, in all sense of the word, dead. Maybe not, but that’s essentially what petrification does to the body. Effectively dead. Forced to just be a consciousness. Yeah, I can see and hear, but that’s it. Not sure if that’s more a blessing or a curse honestly. Just… here. Watching. Waiting. Stuck within my own mind.
Ever declining sanity… which is strange, as I’ve come to realize that insanity isn’t necessarily a real thing. It’s a social construct to describe those who are of a different mindset. Mania, dementia, psychosis, hysteria, madness, lunacy. I’ve had fits of all of them. And through them all, one thing remained true. What I saw remained the same. The only difference is what is seen alongside it. I was still able to think coherent thoughts. They were coherent to me. They might not have made sense to anyone else, but I knew what I meant. It might be a different case for me as I can’t actually move around and interact with anything, so my reality is only what I perceive. I can’t change anything about it… it’s… frustrating beyond all possible imagining. Everything in my life. Taken away from me. Forced to watch others go about their own. Can’t even express it to anyone. Can’t do anything. I cannot stress it enough, can never put enough emphasis on it for anyone to even come close to comprehending it. Even I cannot understand it, it’s just part of my seemingly meaningless existence.
But I suppose there's nothing for it. Can’t do anything about it, so why waste the mental capacity being angry at it? I’m no longer mad at anything really. Cept birds; but honestly, fuck birds. That aside though, I’m not even mad at Celestia anymore. Holding a vendetta is too much mental effort for me to put forth; and I’m runnin out of capacity to care about and process much. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate her guts and I’d kill her given the chance to do so with no repercussions. But I’m not mad at her. I know I hate her. But I just don’t have the inclination to waste the seemingly infinite time I have on it. Because if I ever do get out of here, what will it get me? A reassurance of something I already know? I know I hate her, why waste more time trying to convince myself even more than I hate her? It’s pointless. At least this way I can use this time to learn more and grow mentally as I have been. That, and I know that I’d essentially doom the planet if I killed her. She moves the sun here. Maybe I can dedicate my time to making her life a living hell instead… who knows, all I know is that I’m stuck here as a statue and I shouldn’t have hope. Hope is just more fuel for the pyre when it’s eventually crushed.
I don’t even know what I’d do if I got out… would I be the evil they initially thought me to be? Would I cause chaos and start killing ponies; ponies like Celestia? Would I be petty and an asshole to everyone?... Probably, but that’s just how I’d be anyways. Or, would I be the good that Luna see’s in me? That Starswirl believes Luna for. All those soldiers who prayed to me during that war, those that came back and those who didn’t. Would I render their beliefs in vain? Heh… look at me talking like I could actually do something. I don’t have magic, I wasn’t strong at all when I came here, I lack any form of social skills since I haven’t had to use them in fucking forever. I’m a single man with an eye that I can’t completely control; that, as far as I know, only has two abilities. Both of which are non-applicable for any sort of offensive purposes. Even if it did have some offensive uses, would I have the energy to do it? Probably not… I’ve spent so much time alone… I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want to talk to others. I want to be known as something other than that statue in the castle gardens. I want a friend… I can’t have what I want by emptying the world and rendering it uninhabitable by killing the sun. no doubt that’d get me on everyone's shit list anyways.
It’s weird to hate someone but not be mad at them, I know. But that’s just how I feel. I just… wish I could sit down, and have a conversation with her. Listen to her answers to my endless string of questions. Try as hard as I can to drill it into her head exactly what she did to me. If she has a heart, it’d surely be broken if she knew what she did to me. And if she doesn’t… oh well. If she becomes stricken with guilt, I’ll forgive her. Why? Why would I forgive someone who has done something so horrible to me? Because I know that she’d never forgive herself. She’d want to make it up to me in any way she can. And to forgive her right from the start would be to deny her any chance of making anything up to me. That would fill her with even more guilt. That, would be her ultimate punishment for what she has done to me.
The main thing I want to ask her? It’s a rather simple one. One simple question that has been ringing in my head ever since I was turned to stone. Can you guess it?
Why.